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1227
1228

Ever been knocked out so hard that your body went into auto-fap? (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by obyeo

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[–]fuxsit 138 points139 points ago

That's actually a pretty common sign that someone has had a concussion, their arms go up in the air as they lie flat on their back...as per video evidence below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlXjwAlOflA

[–]andrewinmelbourne 11 points12 points ago

Came here to check Australian Football was in that video. First one up.

[–]MetalGearFlaccid 4 points5 points ago

Ugh not available for mobile.

[–]Tastygroove 2 points3 points ago

If you are on android, Install dolphin. In settings, find user agent and select desktop. (Flash required.) Now when you click a YouTube link, choose to open in dolphin.

[–]Sttmb12r -4 points-3 points ago

iPhone > androod. Thought every one knew this?

[–]Sttmb12r -3 points-2 points ago

Just asking for downvotes so do have fun Andrioders!

[–]chantistar -4 points-3 points ago

WHat about iPhone

[–]devedander 2 points3 points ago

Perhaps one of the most extreme examples I have seen of this Abbott Vs Matua in UFC

[–]redlptop 2 points3 points ago

Also, if you come across a man with a boner in an accident, he could have a spinal cord injury. http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2010/12/priapism-indicative-spinal-cord-injury-trauma.html

[–]NSMike 30 points31 points ago

FUCK me. Some of those are terrifying. I have never felt such contempt for contact sports. Specifically when people are basically celebrating over convulsing bodies.

[–]cumfarts 75 points76 points ago

Relax. They volunteer for that shit.

[–]oddmanout 54 points55 points ago

not just volunteer... many of them get paid obscene amounts of money for it, too.

[–]panochador 35 points36 points ago

and i fucking love watching it

[–]anonymoustroll 0 points1 point ago

unfortunately contact sports hasn't quite reached the NASCAR level of spectator ship (where people come to watch exclusively for the inevitable massive crashes).

[–]rnyat18 2 points3 points ago

Actually, only a select few make enough money to cover what the sport does to them. Many American Footballers are unable to work most jobs after the NFL because their injuries are so bad. That means that money they made in their average of 3 years needs to last them a long time. Also, the number of concussions they get lead to serious brain injuries. It is not uncommon to see them lose their memory early, huge problem right now in the NFL.

[–]Womec 8 points9 points ago

Nothing compared to what sports humans used to watch.

[–]Big_Baby_Jesus 1 point2 points ago

I hope we bring that shit back.

[–]Womec 2 points3 points ago

Bring it back.

http://www.murphsplace.com/gladiator/images/Police_Verso.jpg

[–]D14BL0 -2 points-1 points ago

I can't wait for the day when they're drafted from the general public into these games.

[–]Gpr1me 9 points10 points ago

May the odds be ever in your favor.

[–]fuxsit 12 points13 points ago

It's very scary, I have multiple friends who have had multiple concussions in a short span of time, and they tell me they are scared of the potential repercussions and brain damage. Sport safety should be taught before the sports fundamentals, at the end of the day, it is just a sport.

[–]cumfarts -3 points-2 points ago

In all likelihood your friends will be fine. Only around 20% of pro boxers develop a degenerative brain disease, and those guys get hit way harder and way more times that any of your friends.

[–]macVillain 11 points12 points ago

Only 20%? I agree that it's a volunteer activity, but safety first, and just using the word 'only' doesn't make it an insignificant number. It's a contestable issue, so I'm not gonna take a hard stance, but there's definitely a correlation between participation in extreme contact sports (football, MMA, boxing) and brain damage.

[–]cumfarts -2 points-1 points ago*

I say only because I'm comparing them to that guy's friends. Those guys get punched in the face by some of the best face punchers in the world every single day for decades, and 80% of them are fine.

[–]windsostrange 8 points9 points ago

80% of them are fine

That is twisting the numbers of a single survey to support your own beliefs. The reality is that many conditions are underreported, misdiagnosed, and are simply suffered through by the patient. A recent spate of brain injury-related suicides in professional sport is causing us to rethink this entire debate.

It's also not fair to defend contact sports as "volunteer activities" when the real nature of their ensuing injuries aren't fully understood or explained to the volunteers.

You're right that the friend is probably okay, though. Just don't underestimate how misunderstood brain injury still is in 2012.

[–]Legio_X 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, and they're also a hell of a lot tougher than you or I.

A pro heavyweight boxer can take a punch to the chin that would knock an average guy flying and not even always get staggered by it.

[–]sonics_fan 0 points1 point ago

Most boxers who become professional are pretty good at avoiding such blows, as well.

[–]macVillain -1 points0 points ago

Yeah I mean I don't know what those guys were doing to get those concussions... It's all just what you put yourself through. And I just read your username... ehhhhhhhhhhhhughhhhhhhhh.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

pro boxers know how to roll with a punch, guard themselves correctly, and tuck their chin. it's the amateurs that get flattened by this shit.

of the 3 pro boxers i know (including a coach who was a sparring partner for pros in his youth), 2 have fucking horrendous brain damage. this is why i don't do it anymore.

in books on the medical aspect of boxing they mention how brain damage is even related to fighting style. this isn't uncommon and it's accepted by all the boxers I ever met that if they fight long enough this will happen to them. 20% may be accurate if you consider the fact that anyone paid to box is a pro, but if you look at people who fight for a full length career i imagine the number gets much higher.

listen to hearns, james toney, etcetc

[–]Gpr1me 0 points1 point ago

Pro boxing is another thing I'll never do in my lifetime.

[–]momosaurus 0 points1 point ago

Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't a degenerative brain disease not the same as brain damage? A concussion can cause varying degrees of brain damage during each occurrence but it is not a degenerative disease.

[–]cumfarts 0 points1 point ago

I'm no doctor but you're probably right. The reason I brought it up was because chronic traumatic encephalopathy, CTE or "punch-drunk", is a degenerative disease caused by lots of blows to the head. It tends to turn up in pro athletes in contact sports, which is why the NFL and NHL are currently cracking down on headshots and concussions.

[–]KoNP 2 points3 points ago

That's what happens when the injury is anything more than mild - fencing response, then seizure. It's basically damage to the brainstem and a pretty damn serious situation.

With that video, you can see a whole bunch of them happening before they happen. Like the umpire (dude in the bright pink) getting the knee to the head during the rugby game, or the football (soccer) player getting kicked in the face when he jumped for the ball.

[–]Legio_X 3 points4 points ago

Chris Byrd was paid 4 million dollars for the pleasure of being knocked out by Vladimir Klitschko, current world heavyweight.

Would you really not volunteer for that if you could get paid that much? Just one time at least.

[–]NSMike 8 points9 points ago

I would not. I like my brain the way it is.

[–]Advertisements -3 points-2 points ago

It is highly unlikely any noticeable issues would occur in your brain, chronic or acute. Unless it was a REALLY hard fucking punch.

[–]Legio_X 2 points3 points ago

That's the thing, heavyweight punches usually are.

The Maskaev Rahman punch comes to mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQeqquW1ugo

Oh, and there have been cases of boxers going into comas and dying from taking too many headshots. The punches are definitely dangerous.

[–]Advertisements -1 points0 points ago

Thing is one punch I don't think will cause any prominent issues, multiple ones especially in quick succession will, of course. Any cases of someone dying from one punch?

[–]Legio_X 0 points1 point ago

That'd be tough to find because no boxer is ever hit with just one punch, it's always a succession of them.

One punch can finish them off, but they'll always have been hit a bunch of times before.

[–]the_showerhead 0 points1 point ago

There's also a difference between professional boxers, and you and me. I'm pretty sure one good punch to the head would be capable of putting either of us in a coma or killing us (assuming you're not a professional fighter, of course).

[–]Advertisements -1 points0 points ago

It depends on the placement, but a good one on the cheek I doubt would cause problems, punching isn't a very strong action, a kick to the face is a lot more powerful.

[–]NotVerySmarts -3 points-2 points ago

It's a good thing that you only browse Reddit and drink Mountain Dew while playing Starcraft.

[–]NSMike 1 point2 points ago

I hate mountain dew and am terrible at Starcraft.

Seriously, what the fuck, dude? I can't believe how easily some people can forget there's another person on the other side of an internet account. I don't only browse reddit. I have a career, I work, come home and cook, go to the gym to work out, and hang out with my friends just the same as every other person.

I'm not sure what you think you are accomplishing with this comment, but it's just vindictive and hurtful. Thanks.

For the record, my profile shows that I post one or two comments a day on average. Meanwhile, you've commented about three dozen times in the past 12 hours. Who is it that spends more time on reddit?

[–]Tastygroove 1 point2 points ago

I bet he can both produce AND take a simplistic "verbal jab" too.

Loosen up... It's a place to have fun. Here's a tissue... Now hug...and kiss.. now stick a finger in there and call him a bitch while you pull his nipple hairs(sorry, different part of reddit.)

[–]NSMike 1 point2 points ago

Quit stalking my profile!

;)

[–]when_snorlax_attacks 2 points3 points ago

I can handle all kinds of gore without batting an eye but there was just something about that video that unsettled me deeply. I now feel ill.

[–]awesomedave680 1 point2 points ago

Go Wings

[–]AllisGreat 3 points4 points ago

Kronwall's a dirty player, he tends to jump and aim for the head.

[–]darwyn4 0 points1 point ago

1:55 Holy fuck! Does anyone know the full-length video?

[–]darkkness 0 points1 point ago

I noticed this too when Nathan Horton was hit

[–]gimpbully 0 points1 point ago

Woulda taken the OT win today if Horty wasn't still feeling the long term effects of that hit. sniff

[–]guitarman90 0 points1 point ago

Commenting so I can watch it tomorrow. Damn you non-mobile video. (shakes fist)

[–]TerribleMusketeer 0 points1 point ago

hit the save button underneath the link. later, when you want to watch it, click the saved tab, after 'hot', 'new', 'controversial', etc on the main page. much easier than putting crap comments just to save a link.

[–]okmkz 1 point2 points ago

That only works with RES.

[–]TerribleMusketeer 0 points1 point ago

I'm not sure about that, I don't have RES and I can save things for later.

[–]guitarman90 0 points1 point ago

Can't save on phones.

[–]bicarb -1 points0 points ago

relevant

[–]jewbz 174 points175 points ago

RUFIO! RUFIO!

[–]epicaddict 44 points45 points ago

Oh faptain my faptain!!!

[–]CaptainSombrero 1 point2 points ago

To see or not to see?

[–]raffletime -1 points0 points ago

Fappe diem?

[–]6Sungods 0 points1 point ago

Cognito ergo fap.

[–]Monkeyb1z 18 points19 points ago

Bangerang!

[–]whidzee 8 points9 points ago

Thought the same thing

[–]Falcorsc2 9 points10 points ago

RUUUUU FI OOOOO

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

You're doing gods work son.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

Thought it was Laser or Blade..

[–]rctsolid -1 points0 points ago

Ahhh my thoughts exactly!

[–]SLOPPY_DIARRHEA -1 points0 points ago

came here to say that!

[–]Glyderz 44 points45 points ago

It was his finishing move....

[–]flaccid_member 16 points17 points ago

FINISH HIM!!

[–]iammagna 15 points16 points ago

...off!

[–]sakuredu 6 points7 points ago

FATALITY

[–]intel23 21 points22 points ago

Faptality!!!

[–]Gpr1me -2 points-1 points ago

Homosexuality!

[–]imeanitdoods -2 points-1 points ago

Upvote for correct number of exclamation points.

[–]SWEGEN4LYFE 170 points171 points ago*

It's called the Fencing response. It's a sign of serious brain damage, and happens to fighters all the time.

[–]youra6 29 points30 points ago

TIL that fapping is a fencing response.

[–]5lbCockSlap 46 points47 points ago

TIL I am a world class fencer.

[–]Acidlips242 2 points3 points ago

5lb! No wonder

[–]Geschirrspulmaschine 59 points60 points ago

Wikipedia says moderate trauma to the brain stem, not serious brain injury. A concussion isn't serious brain damage.

[–]SWEGEN4LYFE 27 points28 points ago

Wikipedia also says concussions can cause brain damage. I take brain damage seriously. Hence, serious brain damage. ;)

[–]Geschirrspulmaschine 76 points77 points ago

I get what you're saying, but then again it's kind of silly. Concussions are no joke, but it's misleading to call them a serious brain injury. That just throws any sense of relativity out the window. Say someone has their frontal lobe impaled by a iron rock-bar. What's that? Double secret ultra brain injury?

[–]meninthemirror 40 points41 points ago

You call that Phineas Gage! I knew freshman psych would come in handy one day.

[–]kutterk 2 points3 points ago

Someone's going to post that a TIL and take yer karma, advise you beat them to it.

[–]zrowny 1 point2 points ago

Mr. G. got up and vomited; the effort of vomiting pressed out about half a teacupful of the brain, which fell upon the floor.

Welp, that's enough Internet for today...

[–]thaddeusgreenhand 1 point2 points ago

I take paper cuts very seriously therefore paper cuts are severe lacerations.

[–]SWEGEN4LYFE 3 points4 points ago*

In all honesty I actually meant serious as in "to be taken seriously". I am not particularly well-informed in medical terminology.

EDIT: I crossed out the "serious" part.

[–]cardboardjesus 0 points1 point ago

It's actually called a penetrating brain injury. Or a perforating brain injury if it leaves an exit wound.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penetrating_head_injury

[–]Womec 0 points1 point ago

Dead.

[–]DougEdey -2 points-1 points ago

With paraphanalia

[–]notaturnip -1 points0 points ago

You forgot mega in there somewhere

[–]_no_name 2 points3 points ago

But that's a relative term... that's like me saying that I think that computers are expensive, so therefore I can call any computer an expensive computer.

[–]SWEGEN4LYFE -3 points-2 points ago

Yes, but in comparison to other bodily injuries, it's quite serious.

[–]3206 1 point2 points ago*

Just because brain damage can result from it does not mean the fencing response is a sign of brain damage. A sign of brain damage would be something signalling that brain damage has actually occurred.

I have had two pretty serious concussions and as far as I know have no brain damage. The first was when I was hit by a car whle skating and landed on my head, the second was last year when I fell off a wheelie bin I was sitting on down 2-3 amphitheatre steps onto my face.

[–]NoNeedForAName 0 points1 point ago

I was agreeing with Geschirrspulmaschine until you made this argument.

[–]Prius 0 points1 point ago

As opposed to silly brain damage?

[–]Bro_Hawkins 1 point2 points ago

Yes, but it's your brain stem. Pretty serious.

[–]KoNP -1 points0 points ago

Considering your brainstem controls a whole fuckton of your autonomic functions, I'd class any kind of trauma to it as serious.

[–]fourpac 3 points4 points ago

The ultimate fencing response. Also, watch Shonie Carter's (the ref) reaction.

[–]249ba36000029bbe9749 6 points7 points ago

Which ironically probably never happens in fencing competitions.

[–]hbomb485 1 point2 points ago

How long did it take you to find that?

[–]SWEGEN4LYFE 5 points6 points ago

I saw this fencing response compilation video a while back which creeped me out sufficiently enough to make me remember it.

[–]carlings 0 points1 point ago

Creepy, I agree. That was hard to watch.

[–]anonymoustroll 0 points1 point ago

TIL the ultimate goal of sacking the quarterback should be the fencing response.

[–]rickandliz 0 points1 point ago

How awesome is that Wikipedia drawing?

[–]NullPoint84 0 points1 point ago

This kind of thing makes me wonder why boxing still exists. So pointless and destructive.

[–]dr_derp627 15 points16 points ago

Winner by TFO. Technical Fap Out.

[–]NukeChem 19 points20 points ago

I think the scientific term is "Fear Boner".

[–]dudinatrix 20 points21 points ago

A fearection

[–]Jodry 3 points4 points ago

That's exactly how I fall asleep every night.

[–]C130_jumper 2 points3 points ago

Find my happy place! Find my happy place! Find my happy place!

[–]thecraw2k 0 points1 point ago

Find my fappy place! Find my fappy place! Find my fappy place! ftfy

[–]xenodius 2 points3 points ago

Uncomfortable moment; guy passed out high. Other guy says, "Hey, he's groggy, lets use this head massager I got on him! I bet he'll make all sorts of funny sounds." So he did, and about the 6th... stroke... he had an instaboner sleepgasm. It was awkward. Stained his shorts.

[–]nylolexchange 4 points5 points ago

You guys sound deviously gay.

[–]xenodius 0 points1 point ago

We do, but we're not. I'm married, and quite straight =) But it sure sounds like it... which is why the bromances of the group don't talk about it.

You know, I have tons of great stories that I can't tell in real life because I'll give away someones name. Like a girl that transferred to my university because she masturbated with a peeled banana and it broke off, she did nothing about it and got an infection-- word got out about it, and she was so embarrassed she transferred... only to tell people here about it.

[–]KoreanTerran 8 points9 points ago

Brilliant title.

[–]NinjaFishpie 7 points8 points ago

It's 4 am and I think I may have woken the whole house laughing. Bravo.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

It's probably been a month since I laughed at something on the internet but I think I just woke up the entire apartment complex.

[–]Sleeveen 1 point2 points ago

I always jerk off before going to sleep as well.

[–]Cynikal818 1 point2 points ago

Wanderlei Silva? Dude used to be a beast.

[–]Lambeaux 1 point2 points ago

Ooooh that's the spot. Hit me again baby!

[–]Dubbys 1 point2 points ago

The Fencing Response

[–]Pilot824 1 point2 points ago

So is that what happens when u restart a human male?

[–]Trackpad94 1 point2 points ago

It may look comical but as has been stated many times already it's the so called 'fencing response' to being concussed. Anyone who's a hockey fan has become far too familiar with that image in recent years. There's nothing funny about injuries that shorten lives.

[–]Drunken_Economist 3 points4 points ago

It's called the "Fencing Response". Bad news.

[–]DanielG2112 2 points3 points ago

I laughed out loud. And spit. ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]DanielG2112 -3 points-2 points ago

I laughed so hard I spit. [Fixed]

[–]siredward85 -1 points0 points ago

my laughing continued on this comment

[–]Pterodactyl_sir 0 points1 point ago

Of coarse I have!

[–]Waitwho 0 points1 point ago

No. ._.

[–]Torrzilla 0 points1 point ago

Dude got jacked up

[–]NiceLikeRice 0 points1 point ago

DM;SF

[–]reedly 0 points1 point ago

Anybody have any info on this particular fight(er)? After his 'session', was he able to wake up to fight another day?

[–]zxcv73 0 points1 point ago

Just goes to show that a title can make the context totally different. Great title, I laughed so fucking hard at this because of it. Body shutting down, auto fap initiated!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

No, but I've been knocked out and woke up to me making out with a hot girl. Apparently I was trying to lick my lips or something when she was helpin me up and she thought I was awake and into her

[–]FuriousFapmaster 0 points1 point ago

Damn that's my bro KnockedoutFapmaster!

[–]PhotoshopMogul 0 points1 point ago

Left him stankin'

[–]puppytaker1 0 points1 point ago

That's what happens every time I win on Xbox as a girl

[–]julianface 0 points1 point ago

ya it's really not funny.

[–]Castaway89 0 points1 point ago

Quit beatin while you sleepin

[–]Hangintherekitty 0 points1 point ago

Rufio nooooo

[–]believe_me 0 points1 point ago

Haha uptoes!

[–]Xlaythe 0 points1 point ago

"Immediately after moderate forces" (A bull stomping on your head) Id hate to see what great forces is.

[–]UpvoteHere 0 points1 point ago

No, but I've been so bored I've went into auto-fap.

[–]ForLackOfPayment 0 points1 point ago

Check out decorticate and decerebrate posturing.

[–]KyleAndrus17 0 points1 point ago

For a minute, I thought I was in /r/AskReddit ...

[–]wratx 0 points1 point ago

on nitrous yeah

[–]Skishkitteh 0 points1 point ago

its also not uncommon for people with serious injuries to orgasm. Someone with a serious full body trauma, their whole body goes into a chemical shock which can trigger an orgasm responce. If this happens the person is usually a goner. One of the first things I learned in my class

[–]UGKTX806 0 points1 point ago

Best shit ever.

[–]jezebelunicorn 0 points1 point ago

These gifs get slower and slower everytime I watch them. What the hell?!

[–]D3m0nk1d 0 points1 point ago

Oh no! Rufio has just been murdered through the chest by his cruel nemesis, Captain Hook! His newfound father figure and Man-Skylark watches in horror!

[–]iam101adit_48 0 points1 point ago

Laura Mercier flush in green Nectarine http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/s9xvp

[–]siredward85 0 points1 point ago

Best title in Days. Thanks for the laugh

[–]vicschuldiner 0 points1 point ago

HAHA! I FUCKING LOVE REPOSTS!

[–]TheBlackHam 0 points1 point ago

As an emt, that actually is known to happen with brain injuries.

[–]matthewrulez 0 points1 point ago

I have seen this fucking gif so many times on reddit...

[–]mrdrprofgeo 0 points1 point ago

you mean like this?

[–]bongowashisnameo 0 points1 point ago

yep

[–]Rourkey 0 points1 point ago

my body is just generally set to auto-fap.

[–]xaninator13 0 points1 point ago

When I got my concussion I threw up everywhere, I apparently also cleaned it up, not much memory of that night though

[–]mmmhashbrowns 0 points1 point ago

that's rich.

[–]Tastygroove 0 points1 point ago

Coma patients upon first waking are known to fap like wild monkeys.

[–]iam101adit_48 0 points1 point ago

Fashionista powder in Buff http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/s9xvp

[–]Reeky543 0 points1 point ago

Hahahah

[–]eluuul 0 points1 point ago

dat title

[–]Bladewing10 0 points1 point ago

Oh shit!

[–]Starkpo 0 points1 point ago

It's actually common for coma victims to masturbate upon waking up. Not saying this guy was doing the reverse.

Source: http://www.bianj.org/Websites/bianj/images/Sexuality%20is%20a%20family%20matter.pdf

TIL here: http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/nlkkh/til_coma_patients_often_masturbate_after_waking_up/

[–]itrollulol 0 points1 point ago

INB4 OTHER NEUROLOGISTS

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapism

[–]supervin 0 points1 point ago

This happened to a fighter named Terry Etim recently http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv-gBMBErC4&t=19s

[–]Too_Much_Time -1 points0 points ago

All the time, actually.

[–]snores_like_satan -1 points0 points ago

yes

[–]poorpinto -1 points0 points ago

unfortunately, yes, i was once rendered unconscious during a high school marching band incident. insanity followed (so i've heard). and once again after i had both my nipples pierced, strange but i'm lucky to have had a babysitter that time. i guess some people's body's just go into self preservation mode when the brain gets fucked. combine that with convulsions and you get fap!

[–]Gpr1me 1 point2 points ago

What kind of babysitter let's you pierce your nipples?

[–]poorpinto -1 points0 points ago

by babysitter i mean someone to keep me out of trouble.

[–]Clarkmandi -2 points-1 points ago

Really? It's fake too -.- surprise surprise

[–]WarEmblem27 -5 points-4 points ago

Ever repost something and think you're the first person to post it?

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