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1380
1381

pygmy marmoset (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by tillwalley

all 117 comments
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[–]Wallpaper_Everything 123 points124 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/Smpvt.jpg

[–]abovepostisfunnier 4 points5 points ago

Now my wallpaper. Thank you!

[–][deleted] ago*

[deleted]

[–]Sacharified -4 points-3 points ago

If you upvoted from his profile page, it actually counts it as a downvote.

[–]The_Turbinator 17 points18 points ago

I like you. You see, because you actually add something to Reddit. Unlike the various other shitty novelty accounts that will remain unnamed.

[–]BetterContentLinker 16 points17 points ago

Fuck you too, buddy.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Fucking Saved. Thank you.

[–]The_Turbinator -1 points0 points ago

OMG, wow.

[–]Olive_Garden -1 points0 points ago

Fuck you too.

[–]The_Turbinator 2 points3 points ago

Ouch.

[–]B-Wong 1 point2 points ago

You. I like you.

[–]PaullyDee19 0 points1 point ago

Redditor for one day. Fuck it, not bad.

[–][deleted] ago*

[deleted]

[–]MC-Master-Bedroom 6 points7 points ago

There'd by days like these, marmoset ...

[–]purplestgiraffe 2 points3 points ago

Marmoset, marmoset!

[–]Mr5o1 0 points1 point ago

that video made my day. Thankyou

[–]Skwerley 135 points136 points ago

I've always wanted to have a suit made from these guys. While they were still alive, not like real clothing, just a suit with like 200 pockets they could sit in, and train them so that I never had to like physically grab anything. I just would hold my hand over the doorknob and they would barrel-o-monkeys to it and unlock/turn the doorknob for me.

Also, I would arm them all with those little cocktail skewers that were shaped like swords (I couldn't use real ones, I'm no rich and I need to afford food for them) so that if some dude ever put their hands on me at the bar they would be instantly greeted by little marmosets holding his eyes shut and jabbing him all over with little sharp sticks.

Man I wish I had a genie.

[–]Black_Ash_Heir 64 points65 points ago

I like how in this entirely hypothetical situation, you somehow had enough money for the Marmo-suit and the training, but not enough for real tiny swords.

[–]qdp 17 points18 points ago

Skwerley is just being realistic here.

[–]d00m3d_d00d 5 points6 points ago

Yeah, those things are sharp as hell anyways.

[–]MagnumU 21 points22 points ago*

Never have I ever wanted anything more. Except I think having them armed with mini derringers and small fedoras would suit me a little better. Great idea sir!

Can any artists draw this?!? Would consider tattooing it if it's hilarious/detailed enough.

Edit. With color if you attemp this please. Although it is not a must have option. All are welcome!

[–]MaxPowers1 1 point2 points ago

With so many of them, you'd be covered in tiny monkey poo.

[–]Skwerley 0 points1 point ago

You raise a valid point. Maybe I could train them to handle that as well

[–]chemguy90 13 points14 points ago

How big does that species usually grow to be?

[–]jesuz 32 points33 points ago

About 2000 lbs.

[–]aesu 11 points12 points ago

That's a small one...

[–]ImJustJokingCalmDown 1 point2 points ago

Actually just a really big hand.

[–]ncmentis 4 points5 points ago

Generally palm sized or smaller.

[–]gimpbully 5 points6 points ago

that don't look like no pygmy marmoset I ever heard of!

[–]Shitty_Watercolour 55 points56 points ago

http://imgur.com/JT6Nr

Sabotage at the Publishers!

[–]abovepostisfunnier 3 points4 points ago

Aw! You gave him a little hat! :3

[–]sensors 0 points1 point ago

Loving the hat. Great job.

[–]sme00 5 points6 points ago

I'll take two. One to keep each index finger warm.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]hahaheeheehoho 2 points3 points ago

I'll have 20! My toeses get cold!

[–]-deej- 18 points19 points ago

my first thought was "i'm scared I would accidentally kill the thing", apparently my wife's is "oooohhhh, that could go down your pants and tickle your thing!" wow.

[–]The_Turbinator 14 points15 points ago

Wow indeed, I like her imagination. Is your wife single... ಠ_ಠ

[–]beefybeaubriscoe 5 points6 points ago

OH MY GOD IT IS STARING INTO MY SOUL!!!

[–]AgentXander 13 points14 points ago

http://imgur.com/oThVE

[–]WhatAboutLightly 6 points7 points ago

Can you not?

[–]dlo1771 4 points5 points ago

His face looks very human, look at his teeth....they're nicer then most peoples

[–]Brattain 7 points8 points ago

It has pixels too.

[–]pokins 2 points3 points ago

those are obviously natural to this species of humanfacefotoshop monkeys.

[–]Strmtrper6 9 points10 points ago

Not sure if serious...

Look at the eyes and compare to OP's picture. It has been photoshopped.

[–]Dekkres 6 points7 points ago

How do I keep one as a pet?

[–]GORILLAFAP 8 points9 points ago

You can't keep one. You must have two or more and a permit for exotic animals which can only be obtained by living close to an exotic animal vet. Oh, and they bite so you must file their teeth.

[–]jesuz 33 points34 points ago

FUKIN GBRMT TUK R MRMSETS

[–]George_The_Curious 4 points5 points ago

He he would, his username suggests that he knows quite a bit about dealing with exotic animals.

[–]PaullyDee19 1 point2 points ago

STOP! Gorilla Fap!

[–]BunsTown 3 points4 points ago

Before the internet there was Guiness Book of World Records. In it, there was one of these guys hugging a thumb. I wanted one so so so so bad.

[–]Brattain 2 points3 points ago

I remember that picture. I had plans (as an elementary/middle schooler) to create a business importing and selling them as pets. The internet ruined my dreams by exposing the fact that having them as pets isn't the best idea.

[–]Firefoxx336 0 points1 point ago

Care to elaborate?

[–]Brattain 0 points1 point ago

I don't know how reliable this particular site is, but it was this sort of information that distaste disuaded me.

[–]metaphysicalfarms 2 points3 points ago

I remember when Captain Picard almost de-evolved into a pygmy marmoset... good times good times

[–]purplestgiraffe 4 points5 points ago

"[Lt. Barkley] de-evolved into a spider and now there is a disease named after him".

Couselor Troi: "I'll clear my schedule".

[–]TonyDiGerolamo 2 points3 points ago

That looks like an awesome pet, but I'm sure it would end up hurling it's tiny feces everywhere.

[–]Shamwow22 2 points3 points ago

I want to get a female one of these, so I can name her Alanis Marmoset.

[–]Scriblon 1 point2 points ago

The furtive pygmy, so easily forgotten.

[–]MattSymbol 1 point2 points ago

http://youtu.be/kCi8L_b_I3c Groovy marmoset.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

You should crosspost this picture to r/aww everywhere.

[–]mikesername 1 point2 points ago

I think it would be a really good self-esteem boost to take a picture of one of these things next to your dick.

Show it around at bars and stuff (the picture). "Dude, is your dick as big as that monkey??"

[–]thegoods7 1 point2 points ago

Reminds me of

http://imgur.com/NmUZG

[–]midnightbarber 1 point2 points ago

My dream is to put one on every finger and teach them all to do the arm movements from Thriller. That way when I do it, they can do it too and it will be marmoset-thriller-ception.

[–]scaryopossum 1 point2 points ago

Oh god, it's scary. Look at its gleaming, intelligent little eyes and its nimble little limbs and fingers. Look how tiny it is. I bet it moves fast. Can you imagine a whole swarm of these, emerging from the trees at dusk, climbing up your legs with their sharp monkey nails, uttering their shrill marmoset cries as they sink their tiny, razorlike little teeth into your defenseless flesh? They like eyeballs the best.

[–]titanicx 1 point2 points ago

My 10 year old daughter saw this pic and said "Awwww a finger monkey!"

[–]profchaos83 1 point2 points ago

This looks like the little alien in 'Flight of the Navigator'.

http://basementrejects.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/flight-of-the-navigator-alien.jpg

[–]mud_god 1 point2 points ago

Marmoset there'll be days like this.

There'll be days like this, my marmoset.

[–]ANAGRAM_ALL_THINGS 1 point2 points ago

"MEATY GYM PROMS"

[–]SakeBomberman 4 points5 points ago

Finger licking good!

[–]atheistpiece 1 point2 points ago

My understanding is that they get pretty mean, pretty quickly.

Still cute as a bug's ear though.

[–]LuckyRevenant 0 points1 point ago

Oh my god I love marmosets. They're one of the reasons I'm considering going into primatology.

[–]MC-Master-Bedroom 0 points1 point ago

Finger iz MINE!

[–]elastic-craptastic 0 points1 point ago

My uncle used to have a monkey that looked that that. He was a little bastard. For some reason he chose me to be the one to piss on all the time.

[–]thebigstank 0 points1 point ago

Damn! that's a big ass hand.

[–]DeadPlasmaCell 0 points1 point ago

My God! He's killing us!

[–]afflaf 0 points1 point ago

Ampersand??

[–]toph2point0 0 points1 point ago

What the cute?!

[–]dragon_boner 0 points1 point ago

What in the DaS does pygmy even mean????

[–]TheImmenseFence 0 points1 point ago

Marmosets are very small normally, It's not likely to be pygmy, but a normal Marmoset...

[–]prodigy372 0 points1 point ago

Sure, they're adorable. But do you know how they mark their territory? They pee in their hands and rub it all over themselves, and then rub their pissy bodies all over the trees and shit. Some of the filthiest animals in the world, but I still wouldn't mind if one crawled all over my face.

[–]monkeyf1st 0 points1 point ago

DAE remember Billy of The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy talking about pygmy marmosets?

[–]G0PACKG0 0 points1 point ago

honey dew awwwweeeee

[–]GeneralDemus 0 points1 point ago

Wow, that's a huge finger.

[–]dollarglis 0 points1 point ago

Honey, I shrunk your pet monkey.

[–]Rustytire 0 points1 point ago

Hey, nice marmot!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

THAT IS SO COOL!!!!

[–]earbud 0 points1 point ago

I want it. Plz & ty.

[–]haunchu 0 points1 point ago

I don't know how many times I will see this picture in my life time, but when I am lying on my death bed I will look back on it and my last words will be, Repost.

[–]nikolatosic 0 points1 point ago

thats a huge hand!

[–]tedtutors 0 points1 point ago

You should repost to /r/Daww. So they can, you know, d'awww all over.

[–]ShunStanpike 0 points1 point ago

I don't. understand. how things like that exist. Think of the tiny internal organs!

[–]IUsedToBeAPygmy 0 points1 point ago

We used to be friends.

[–]TopangaButLessBoobs 0 points1 point ago

I wants.

[–]pinkponyraper 0 points1 point ago

also known as...the Finger Monkey

[–]sonnywithoutachance 0 points1 point ago

I used to do volunteer work at the Pacific Primate Sanctuary back home on Maui and we cared for a lot of types of Marmosets and Tamarins that that were either kept as pets or were used in labs for testing. We provided them with what was basically a place for them to live out the rest of their lives in peace.

[–]Kris-P 0 points1 point ago

Guy stealing a car #1 - "Ahh, it's probably just a golden marmoset"

Guy stealing a car #2 - "That don't look like no golden marmoset I ever seen"

Bender as the Were-Car - "Honk Honkkkkkk"

[–]reptilians13 0 points1 point ago

why are these not sold in pet stores?

[–]BeLegendary 0 points1 point ago

Where can I get one? ...Seriously.

[–]MetalFlameV 0 points1 point ago

OH MY GOD! IT'S A FINGER!

[–]juanshot 0 points1 point ago

QUICK, SOMEONE PHOTOSHOP THE FINGER INTO A PENIS!

[–]clusterfuzz 0 points1 point ago

What size habitat do they need? Is that an adult? Are they protected? Can I get one in America, ethically?

[–]SpongebobandPatrick 0 points1 point ago

Where can I get one

[–]Weavehead 0 points1 point ago

I. Must. Have. A. Pygmy.

[–]JakJakAttacks 0 points1 point ago

Nice marmot.

[–]macintoshgeek 0 points1 point ago

Proof that God has a sense of humor.

[–]sweetsweetcoffee 0 points1 point ago

I want one as a minion.

[–]doxsee 0 points1 point ago

Pygmy Marmoset Taranchula

[–]ihateuall 0 points1 point ago

When I saw the the thumb nail I was like whoa this should be on rule34 then I saw it was a finger, not a penis.

[–]wisewizard 0 points1 point ago

I will breed an army of these guys, train them, arm them with cutlass's and send them to deal with the rat problem in my building. All i'll need is an embedded journalist marmoset to cover the action.

[–]natureoflove 0 points1 point ago

want

[–]epoxy_proxy 0 points1 point ago

Psst! Hey Guido!

[–]sandydd 0 points1 point ago

This is to cute , would love to. Hold it , un like the sicko saying dumb stuff must be a child, is it some kind of monkey ? My boys had weird pets like igunnas, a perfect reddit picture ,

[–]MiniDonbeE 0 points1 point ago

ALL YOUR CUTENESS ARE BELONG TO US

[–]FriedKoolAid 0 points1 point ago

Had two pygmy marmosets as a kid growing up in Douglaston Manor. Our Dominican maid killed one by mistake (pulled his collar while he was eating a cricket). His mate died of heartache. :( BTW: mine did not look that but more like this

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

These are my favorite little guys at the zoo.

http://i.minus.com/ibbhsA2Apm5zTe.jpg

http://i.minus.com/itG6tm4JyfKMo.jpg

http://i.minus.com/ib0aYl6aL89bTC.jpg

[–]drunk_otter -2 points-1 points ago

Pull my finger, little monkey.

Mwahahahaha.

(frrrrrtttt)

[–]ErrorBorn -2 points-1 points ago

That's inconceivable!

[–]MC-Master-Bedroom -1 points0 points ago

I don't think that word means what you think it means ...

[–]ErrorBorn 0 points1 point ago

Well the second definition is ... "unbelievable." If I didn't Google it minutes afterward, I would've been sure that it was another hoax like the PLG (petite lap giraffe). So I apologize that I didn't believe that the pigmy marmoset didn't exist at first.

[–]MC-Master-Bedroom 0 points1 point ago

OK, so you have to rent The Princess Bride now.

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