this post was submitted on
887 points (57% like it)
3,451 up votes 2,564 down votes

funny

subscribe2,670,489 readers

8,356 users here now

Results of the facebook poll

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 110 comments

[–]Allergic2Ferns 133 points134 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I wonder how he killed his parents.

[–]FromMars 27 points28 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He stretched a condom over their heads after binding them to a chair, leaving them to suffocate.

[–]Iron_Maiden_666 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Lucky Number Slevin y'all.

[–]Arcon1337 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Would make a great movie. An epic tale of love, violence and revenge.

[–]I_RAPE_PEOPLE_II 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

and sex.

[–]FaptainAwesome 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why is everything about sex?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Says FaptainAwesome...

[–]FaptainAwesome 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I suppose you make a valid pont

[–]UsernameUser 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Bad Boy Bubby!

[–]Bangted 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

not true. he crucified them, and, instead of nailing them to the cross, he tied them to it with condoms.

[–]MF_Kitten 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You could probably get out of that by opening your mouth and exposing your teeth, and inhaling as deep as you can, to suck the condom wall into your mouth, and then bite down and gnaw on it.

[–]NorthboundFox 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Not to seem off topic, but I have to ask; Are you actually allergic to ferns? I didn't even know that sort of allergy existed.

[–]enigma750 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Since we are getting off topic, I heard that Sigmund Freud was deathly afraid of ferns. The whole affair is clouded in controversy however.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=69466

http://randomrel.wordpress.com/2007/05/16/questions-ferns/

http://listverse.com/2010/11/03/10-well-known-people-and-their-phobias/

[–]NorthboundFox 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Now this is pretty darn intriguing!

[–]Allergic2Ferns 1 point2 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's a Between Two Ferns reference, but apparently people can be allergic to ferns.

EDIT: Typo

[–]Hadrius 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I wonder how he killed his mom.

[–]schoocher 118 points119 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

His middle name is "Iforgotmy"

[–]Shadax 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is literally the only explanation.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Up to the top with you!

[–]GodMadePigs4Bacon 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"Yer a wizard Jesus."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

id read it

[–]GSJacket 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Portrayed by Ralph Macchio?

[–]DarkDefiance 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I saw "literally", and was expecting the kid's name to be "Anything". Disappointed.

[–]lovelydayfora 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I am disappoint.

[–]I_DRINK_PERIOD_BLOOD 36 points37 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He looks like this guy.

[–]brittsuzanne 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I may be mistaken.. But I believe John Cusack is on the left.. And was also born a woman.

[–]Aromir19 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Did fearadoring ever make it to texas?

[–]brittsuzanne 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He did not. At least not that I have been made aware of!

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Jesus is a very common name. Condom is their family name. What's wrong with naming someone Jesus?

[–]Smokey651 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why did I have to look so hard to find this comment?

[–]llofdddddt5 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

All that scrolling must have hurt your finger.

[–]Smokey651 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No, but it did hurt my faith in humanity.

[–]illegal_deagle 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is almost definitely a typo of the name "Condon".

[–]FadedPoster -4 points-3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why is there sand in your vagina?

[–]Pawn_Raul 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Medical Term: Granular Vaginitis. Use it at parties. Trust me.

[–]ellisrgreen 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

In all fairness few names would go well with "Condom."

[–]whiteandnerdy1729 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Max?

[–]Dukelicious 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Magnus?

[–]whiteandnerdy1729 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

... Achilles?

[–]Dukelicious 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ada?

[–]matsis01 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There should be a couple of laws.

[–]DirtyDanil 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Actually there are cases in almost every major country of a the government overriding a parents choice for a childs name. It's considered child abuse if it's bad enough.

[–]Hardcorex 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is so old it hurts

[–]Teknik987 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

or jesus condems? misspelled.

[–]cynthiadangus 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

condemns*

[–]Trobot087 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Like he said: misspelled.

[–]NotLocke 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well, if you pronounce it "Hey-zeus Con-dome" it doesn't sound that bad

[–]whiteandnerdy1729 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Jesus con dome?

Jesus with... (that) I dominate?

[–]toSTONEiGO 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This has got to be one of the most reposted pictures on the internet.

[–]jparrai 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Reminds me of the joke about the indian chief explaining his son "Big Moon" that he was so called because the night they conceived him, there was a big moon in the sky. And their other son "Bald Eagle", that he was so called because when they conceived him, they looked at the sky and there was a bald eagle hovering over them. And then the third son asks... "And me, father?". "Now you be quiet, "Broken Condom".

[–]HappyCactus1024 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There was another one with the woman telling her daughter she was named Rose because a rose petal fell on her head when she was born, and Daisy because a daisy petal fell on her head when she was born, and Brick because ... well ...

[–]mtbkr24 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I saw this on Demotivational Pics, or whatever it's called. It had a funnyjunk watermark. I repeat, Funnyjunk. They stole it from memebase. It's been on reddit many times before, and it's popped up again. Really?

[–]Snoutmol 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You can literally name your kid anything

Shouldn't his name literally be, 'anything'?

[–]TZnerd 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What the? What the hell? What twisted parents would give their own kid a name like Phoebe Choi? WTF???

[–]xISonikzZ 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sometimes, I fart when I sneeze. That makes me laugh, which causes me to burp.

[–]ZosoCub 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's strange, I didn't think condoms existed in the Latino community...

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]TheSollymonster 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Upvote for prudent action.

[–]mastiction 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

WHAT KIND OF NAME is Pheobe Cho?

[–]Hoobleton 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's Phoebe Choi, you can't see the I too well because of the glare.

[–]tks91 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Asian name.

[–]Kow102 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah! What the hell kind of name is Phoebe Cho!?

[–]weisass 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

johnny?

[–]cornholio12 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

[–]AptMoniker 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Details. I count 40 F's!

[–]cornholio12 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Was hoping someone would notice.

[–]AptMoniker 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You're doing it right, son.

[–]cornholio12 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Out of curiosity, did you count them? Because that's crazier than me typing one capital F and 9 small fs, and then copy pasting the 9 small ones four times, and then tagging on the rest to make 40.

[–]laller 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Something strange about the left girl...

[–]calamormine 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'll have to introduce him to my son, "Goddamned Condom".

[–]RitzSnack 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Isn't that Ray William Johnson?

[–]RaffaAu 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

britney spears

[–]Harleenquinnzel 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Was this a yearbook from FL or Alabama?

[–]pom8 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

FL

[–]pom8 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Eyyy, That was my middle school. Southwood... Ha...

[–]ABandApart 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

At least he wasn't named "PNSNDLTN". Or better yet, "Ladies and Gentlemen"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No you can't. Not in the U.K. either. Or in New Zealand. Not even in Sweden.

I'd refer the U.S. parents naming their child "Adolf Hitler" but they lost custody of their child for other reasons, that was just part of it.

I'm torn as to whether it's bullshit it or not.

[–]fucking_leverpostej 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"A S S. H-O-L-E."

  • Lewis Black.

[–]lukeish 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Alright, that's enough internet for today. What? It's only 8:17 AM? What am I going to do with no internetz!

[–]svullenballe 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can you actually name your kids anything in the US? We have pretty strict rules about naming your children here in Sweden.

[–]rojito23 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Harry Potter!

[–]beaubybeau 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What kind of name is Phoebe Cho ?

[–]Biscuitaddict 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I thought his name was going to be 'anything'...

[–]roberto32 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

like those parents that named their kid Hitler and sued a bakery (unsuccessfully) for not putting the kid's name on a birthday cake

[–]trapkingxo 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can someone link me to Louie C.K. actually saying this?

[–]vpookie 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

-Michael Scott

[–]tfrank14 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I can't imagine who would name their kid phoebe cho! Do parents just want to torture their kids?

[–]ebfos 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He kind of looks like a hispanic Eminem

[–]MisterWanderer 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

In Japan they actually have the courts decide cases like this. Some parents tried to name their kid what translates to "Ogre" or "Demon". It went to court while he was still and infant and he got renamed.

[–]Timmk14 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

doesn't that look like ray william john nson?

[–]proskater_83 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

is that the kid from "the sandlot" ?!

[–]ironpervhunter 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

johnny HERE sam HERE lauren HERE jesus HERE my sister NOT YOU I MEANT JESUS CONDOM

[–]Sayros 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm slightly more amused by Phoebe Cho.

[–]dkmc1721 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah, haha, who the fuck would name their kid Phoebe amirite?

[–]stock113 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Doh! Should have brushed up on my book of Korean last names before posting

[–]Neoxite23 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ok that kid has a terrible name....but look at the girl on the left....she looks like a guy with braids!

[–]jellybabies -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Explain yourself.

[–]Neoxite23 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ok....I think the girl looks like a guy?

[–]jellybabies -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The prepubescent human resembles the opposite sex.

Hm. I think you should wait till she gets more ladylike features post-puberty before you decide that she looks like a guy. Basic biology, bro.

[–]Neoxite23 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

and yet still looks like a boy in the picture.

[–]jellybabies -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There is little difference between an 8-year-old boy and an 8-year-old girl beyond hairstyle and clothes. If at all. Your comment was fucking stupid.

[–]Neoxite23 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh I'm sorry I didn't amuse you.

[–]jellybabies -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sorry your humor is reduced to comments on the physical appearances of 8-year-old children. Lmfao.

[–]Roonerth -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Should've named him Harry Potter.

[–]PoopIsSmelly 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Harry Potter Condom. That's rolls right off the tongue.

[–]LDRWarlock 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Without the middle name it's Harry condom .... Hairy condom

[–]rcglinsk -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I know a man named Harry Potter.

[–]stock113 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think it's actually Phoebe Chol with the glare on the L

[–]AgentDonut 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pretty sure it's "Choi." As in the Korean last name.