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722
723

When my nephew pulled his pants down and shat on a slide in public (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by NFLBLitz20002

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[–]nansypansy 66 points67 points ago*

FREE COCAINE!

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 106 points107 points ago*

Explanation: I was out at with my family and friends at a picnic relaxing having a good time. I had smoked a bowl or two before hand and was in a great spot. The weather was nice, a calm breeze would softly caress our skin making us smile, and all of the little ones were out and about playing on the monkey bars etc.

Me being a "high kid" decided to go see how the little munchkins were doing, and enjoy the adventures meant only for kids much younger than me. After about 15 minutes of just strolling around checking on everyone, laughing at how stupid little kids could be, I run across my 5yr old nephew, the shitter. He was laughing and just having a grand ole' time when it happened. He was on top of the slide and said "High Kid! watch me go down the slide!" Being a good older guy, I said "be careful!" (the guy is a little small for his age, and well... prone to accidents.. no pun intended).

This son of a bitch, laughing the whole time, makes a weird face says "high kid! me go poopy!," pulls down his pants, and starts taking a shit and piss (we all know you usually do both when #2 is involved) WHILE walking up to the slide and going down it!

I was standing at the bottom of the slide to make sure to catch him, but when that happened I froze, tried to get words out of my mouth, but ended up just saying "shit!"

Tl;DR- My nephew told me to watch him go down a slide, pulled his pants down while walking up to the slide, said "me go poopy" and slid down the slide while taking a Jabba the Hutt looking diarrhea shit. The yellow slide is now discolored.

EDIT: And yes we cleaned it up: The fruit punch we brought with us was used to clean initially while I drove to a Walmart, bought gloves, alcohol, and paper to disinfect and cleaned it all up with the help of the fam.

[–]RandomMandarin 24 points25 points ago

You did not employ the correct cleanup procedure.

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 5 points6 points ago

Ahahaha. Touche' good sir

[–]TareXmd 13 points14 points ago

In your opinion to do think the gushing of diarrhea was used as some sort of propelling force?

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 17 points18 points ago*

Well if we take gravity at 9.8m/s2 (even though he wouldnt reach terminal velocity) + the force ones sphincter muscles can apply (given he is young, he hasn't really developed them much yet... btw side note, strengthening those muscles are good for lasting longer in bed)...who knows bud. The friction of the slide and his bare bottom was significantly reduced by the fecal matter and piss.

Going out on a limb... I'd say the little guy definitely sped up more than normal.

[–]TareXmd 2 points3 points ago

I lol'd... partly because it's true.

[–]slayer8a 2 points3 points ago

I see no mention of a shovel, bucket or plastic bags to remove the potential pooling of punch/poop puddle at the end of the slide. You know, where all the other kids will land.

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 3 points4 points ago

We were having a picnic. We already had bags we were using. No need of shovels

[–]HalfPointFive 0 points1 point ago

he's too old to be doing that. My kids are 2.5 (twins) and know they're not supposed to poop outside a potty.

[–]Whired 0 points1 point ago

He's five?

[–]de_dust2_420 0 points1 point ago

Pics or your lying

[–]pulezan -4 points-3 points ago

you see? was this so hard? did you have to ruin the whole story with this gif that has been posted for hundreds of times? "me when this", "me when that", wtf is wrong with you people? don't you understand that you're upvoting the same old gifs we've seen a million times before. to me, this right here is the worst kind of karmawhoring-post a retarded gif instead of just typing your story.

[–]ShorttStuff 2 points3 points ago

I've never seen it. I actually enjoyed it.

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 0 points1 point ago

im so confused...

[–]saler000 15 points16 points ago

Can I take your nephew to work? I want him to meet my boss...

[–]Wership 17 points18 points ago

Shit on Debra's desk.

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 16 points17 points ago*

Hey just make sure you wax your boss's desk for optimal sliding and surface area coverage when my nephew takes another shit.

[–]ToadShortage 2 points3 points ago

Armor All works as well, it will also prevent that damn static from building up.

[–]JohnnyTwoFingers 13 points14 points ago

The real question is was it at the top or bottom of the slide? Or better yet while he was sliding down. Fuck now I wanna go try that.

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 22 points23 points ago

He took the shit at the the top, the 1/4 mark, the 1/2 mark, the 3/4 mark, the bottom, and stuck (sorry, shit) the landing.

10/10 for the little bastard.

[–]eskaton 12 points13 points ago

atleast he knows fractions.

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 7 points8 points ago

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Up vote for you bud.

[–]mustachio45 8 points9 points ago

But why?

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 15 points16 points ago

The little guy needed to shit I guess. I don't question it. Kid is ridiculous smart for his age, I don't question what he does. Just hope he continues to do stupid stuff for a while so I can blackmail his rich ass when he is 40. Jk jk jk haha

[–]mustachio45 5 points6 points ago

Haha I wrote this before I saw the explanation further down. Haha that's awesome you're gonna get some sweet stories of this little guy for years to come.

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 14 points15 points ago

This one I feel will take the cake. Seriously, this is a wedding story

[–]TuppyHole 6 points7 points ago

Reaction .gif's as links, reddit says NO.

[–]Hipster_Bruinbear 4 points5 points ago

And that's why his wife doesn't let him drink anymore.

[–]AgentFlynn 2 points3 points ago

Your nephew sound a LOT like my friends when they're drunk.

[–]410ham 2 points3 points ago

good guy op, delivers.

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 2 points3 points ago

I always try to whenever I post

[–]ToxicLavaZombie 2 points3 points ago

I only upvoted for the proper use of tense with the word "shat."

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 2 points3 points ago

Somehow being given a passing grade by a redditor on my grammer makes me feel good

[–]anthereddit 7 points8 points ago

I guess you could say...

he was on a slippery slope after that

[–]Lizardizzle 5 points6 points ago

If this story gets out the kid'll be the butt of all jokes at school. D:

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 0 points1 point ago

Look's like this story has already been exposed expelled

[–]bimbles_ap 2 points3 points ago

He probably went home and wrote all about it in his diarrhea.

[–]insectopod 5 points6 points ago

How the fuck did you handle that shit?

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 10 points11 points ago

Lets just say the fruit punch we brought with us was used to clean. I drove to a Walmart, bought gloves, alcohol, and paper to disinfect and cleaned it all up with the help of the fam.

[–]insectopod 6 points7 points ago

Everything went better than expected! :)

[–]fattmarrell 5 points6 points ago

Sounds pretty crappy to me

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] -2 points-1 points ago

And the pun train begins!

[–]VideoVideo 6 points7 points ago

Not this shit again!

[–]Pun_Deflater 1 point2 points ago

Defecate.

[–]VideoVideo 1 point2 points ago

ಠ▃ಠ HEY! Im not falling out that easily! I've got a few more puns behind my back! Now leave me alone before I unleash the wrath.

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 1 point2 points ago

Pun Defecator?

[–]yoship 1 point2 points ago

Abort! Abort!!!

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 1 point2 points ago

Haha, we had some great laughs. Only after we did clean the mess.

[–]_ShyGuy_ 1 point2 points ago

I had to read that title twice to make sure i didn't read it wrong. I didn't. i then did a double take and laughed my ass off. Thank you for this.

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] -2 points-1 points ago

Haha. Glad you enjoyed!

[–]Anchors_Away 1 point2 points ago

Did anyone ask how old he was at the time? This is vital intel

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 0 points1 point ago*

5 yrs old..

[–]AshShadows 1 point2 points ago

So badass. If only I was younger and I couldn't get arrested ;-;

[–]Pterodactyl_sir 1 point2 points ago

You had me at the title

[–]Ceberus 1 point2 points ago

An occupier in training

[–]jobin_segan 1 point2 points ago

As a kid, I once got out of a pool, turned around, pulled out my dong and peed into the pool.

Your nephew has trumped me.

[–]thisismyhawaiiacct 1 point2 points ago

I work with children aged 2-6. This gif is essentially an accurate loop of my facial expressions for the entirety of 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

[–]Bholla71085 1 point2 points ago

Sounds like my usual Thursday!

[–]CorporatePsychopath 1 point2 points ago

Last time I saw shit on a slide was in 1980 when I was six. It was one of those awesome tall twirly helix slides they used to have before the lawyers turned them all into all that low down bullshit you see now.

It was actually the afternoon my friend and I were being taken by our dads to see The Empire Strikes Back for the first time, and we went to the playground to wait for the session to start. Lucky we saw the shit before smearing it all over our arses. Needless to say, the rest of the day was a fucking religious experience.

[–]Spootpants 1 point2 points ago

Upvote for the lols.. but mostly for use of one of the funniest words ever.. shat.

[–]hexperiment 1 point2 points ago

We don't want to see your generic reaction gif. We want to see the image of that shit-covered slide.

[–]pappa67 1 point2 points ago

hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhhhhaha

[–]SpackDaddy 2 points3 points ago

Over used gif

[–]rhubarbbus 1 point2 points ago

I think he was asserting his dominance. What a fucking gangster.

[–]Withnails 0 points1 point ago

the sad part is your nephew was 27 at the time...

[–]Pixelated_Penguin 0 points1 point ago

Hey, at least he pulled down his pants. It's really awful trying to get it out of the fabric when they don't.

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] -2 points-1 points ago

I think his nether parts appreciated the breeze also... regardless his pants were full of piss

[–]Lizardizzle 0 points1 point ago

I would do EXACTLY that.

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] -3 points-2 points ago

fo shizzle

[–]jcraig87 0 points1 point ago

sometimes you just have to let kids learn for themselves.

[–]agentOso 0 points1 point ago

please tell me it was at the top/

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 0 points1 point ago

He took the shit at the the top, the 1/4 mark, the 1/2 mark, the 3/4 mark, the bottom, and stuck (sorry, shit) the landing. 10/10 for the little bastard.

[–]Freeman_C2K12 0 points1 point ago

Isn't this is the Irish guy when a non-Irish guys tries to do an Irish accent?

[–]Trolln 0 points1 point ago

pics or it didnt happen

[–]graniterocks 0 points1 point ago

i want Firefly back

[–]The_Pourne_Ultimatum 0 points1 point ago

Is there a video link for context? I've always see it and I'm always confused.

[–]Apollyna 0 points1 point ago

If ever there were a more appropriate time for r/shittyreactiongifs.

[–]I_DRINK_PERIOD_BLOOD -2 points-1 points ago

Hey a reaction gif we've all seen but with a new caption! How cool!

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 8 points9 points ago

Hey a vampire with a sense of humor! Fuckin' AWESOME.

[–]Varnishedchrome 1 point2 points ago

That or a vampire with a... "rare" fetish.

[–]MedievalKnieval 1 point2 points ago

Being a real man is a rare fetish now?

GETCHER RED BADGE OF COURAGE NOW MAGGOT!

[–]OneFinalEffort -1 points0 points ago

Upvoted for Nathan Fillion .gif!

OT: ...wow...just wow.

[–]Moonwalk1990 -1 points0 points ago

Castle !! Best show ever !!

[–]BroskydaGreat -1 points0 points ago

Upvotes just for using a Firefly reference.

[–]crazyticklefight -2 points-1 points ago

When I saw this gif used again.

[–]NFLBLitz20002[S] 0 points1 point ago

ok ok fine lol

[–]crazyticklefight 0 points1 point ago

Hahaha I didn't know those existed...leaving that window open for more than a minute gets really annoying, but it's funny as fuck. Good show, too.

[–]pibroch -2 points-1 points ago

GAHHH!! I've seen this GIF about 3 times before on Reddit, and each time it's been different sizes that each take like 2 minutes to load on our shitty connection.

I just skipped it this time.

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