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top 200 commentsshow all 319

[–]BFSkinner 133 points134 points ago

Damnit, Mattingly, I told you to trim those sideburns.

[–]dcthree 51 points52 points ago

Mr. Burns, I don't know what you think sideburns are...

[–]sierrabravo1984 34 points35 points ago

DON'T ARGUE WITH ME JUST GET RID OF THEM!!

[–]Beaglepower 6 points7 points ago

I still like him better than Steinbrenner...

[–]molkhal 2 points3 points ago

Smithers: I love you sir!

Mr. Burns: What?

Smithers: Nothing.

[–]dirtmouth 1 point2 points ago

*i love you in those colors

[–]snarkyaardvark 22 points23 points ago

One of the best Simpsons episode ever, in my opinion.

[–]millerswiller 4 points5 points ago

Did you happen to read this? Great 'behind-the-scenes' look at the episode.

http://deadspin.com/5886723

[–]Roaning 1 point2 points ago

Easily. Such a classic.

[–]far_too_lazy 2 points3 points ago

Jew is IN.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]shitfacehammered 1 point2 points ago

[–]Looks_Good_In_Hats 11 points12 points ago

OMG thank you. Whenever someone tells me that movie sucks, I say "Are you high." No? "Well you need to get high and watch it again."

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

I don't agree with your downvotes because that movie is fucking awesome when you're baked.

[–]dang_Ling_modify_her 6 points7 points ago

Any movie is better when you're high. I still think Glitter is a good movie because I was high when I watched it.

[–]Datsunpost 6 points7 points ago

Ever look at the back of a dollar on weeed?

[–]Orph1969 1 point2 points ago

Red team go! Red team go!

[–]IAmAtomato 41 points42 points ago

One on the left looks like Justin Bieber. Not because of the hair, but because of the face.

[–]tigerjelly 87 points88 points ago

Flight of the Concords: The Early Years

[–]Citizen_Snip 6 points7 points ago

Vanilla Rain: The True Story of White Tay Zonday.

[–]dhaft88 35 points36 points ago

Guess that Gender!

[–]Strideo 17 points18 points ago

Is this individual's name Pat?

[–]Shagomir 2 points3 points ago

Female!

It's the shirt. It buttons on the left, so it is a woman's shirt. Men's shirts button on the right.

[–]btownbub 37 points38 points ago

she looks good with those burns'

[–]Risifrutti 11 points12 points ago

It's a girl?

[–]Moofyman 25 points26 points ago

Yes. Girl-burns hang like that. They aren't attached because no beard!

[–]RCam88 25 points26 points ago

Oh. TIL the effeminate guy in class is a girl with burns.

[–]THANE_OF_ANN_ARBOR 1 point2 points ago

Or it could be because he can't grow a beard yet.

[–]AnonymousHipopotamus 20 points21 points ago

If that's not a girl, it's an unfortunate dude with a bad case of chick-face.

[–]souldonkey 3 points4 points ago

[–]AnonymousHipopotamus 5 points6 points ago

Well that's just some poor girl who needs to have a discussion with her waxer about her eyebrows.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Didn't you hear? Eyebrows are back.

[–]thoroughbread 1 point2 points ago

Is the joke that Reddit finds Justin Bieber sexually attractive? Is that why we don't like him?

[–]DannyFathom 6 points7 points ago

It's a Bieber.

[–]marshmelo 116 points117 points ago

Could just be a Hasidic Jew.

Also: Why do we think this is a girl? That isn't particularly feminine clothing, and it looks to be from a time period when that sort of thing mattered a bit more than it does today.

[–]nickfromredcliff 99 points100 points ago

Why do we think this is a girl?

Because it looks like a girl? Which, surprisingly, is how I make all my decisions on gender.

[–]RickDicolus 64 points65 points ago

Be careful on your trip to Bangkok.

[–]liter-a-cola 13 points14 points ago

Or you might end up...oh, never mind.

[–]rockne 9 points10 points ago

shhh, he'll find out... the hard way.

[–]LNMagic[!] 1 point2 points ago

Shut up, Farva.

[–]amaefm 9 points10 points ago

You know what? If it looks so much like a girl that I can't tell the difference, fuck it, it's a girl.

[–]corcyra 7 points8 points ago

Pre-adolescent boys can look a lot like girls.

[–]katalysis 3 points4 points ago

The Pope agrees.

[–]snarkyaardvark 12 points13 points ago

Because Yentl

[–]Roamin_Ronin 5 points6 points ago

My Nephews look like that. They let their hair grow for a few years then cut everything but the peyas.

I'm not jewish, but its kinda cool.

[–]brussels4breakfast 2 points3 points ago

Kinda cool you say? Looks like a wavy mullet.

[–]NiftyPistols 7 points8 points ago

No adam's apple? Maybe ... I mean, my first thought was that they are a girl, but they could just be a very feminine looking young man. It's the lips and small chin and lack of adam's apple that made me believe this to be a girl. Personally ...

[–]marshmelo 10 points11 points ago

As a woman with a fairly visible adam's apple, I'm not sure whether to take offense to such a generalization.

[–]JesusTapdancingChris 7 points8 points ago

It's one of those common fallacies that no one bothers to check up on - like the story of everyone thinking flies had only four legs for hundreds and hundreds of years. Why? Because Aristotle said so.

[–]doginabathtub 3 points4 points ago

If it's not a girl... that's a pretty hot dude right there. I mean, I'd totally take that to prom.

[–]HomieHavko 1 point2 points ago

White chocolate rain.

[–]mst3kcrow 1 point2 points ago

Does the carpet match the drapes?

[–]snailboy 5 points6 points ago

The carpet is also drapes.

[–]twinprime 9 points10 points ago

she's cute

[–]PaulMcGannsShoes 8 points9 points ago

Needs more Starburns!

[–]Tom_Anks 5 points6 points ago

My name is ALEX!

[–]nahnope 3 points4 points ago

And I'm sure you made those because your life already is really interesting.

[–]Brenmains 1 point2 points ago

Then maybe you should have spent 3 hours shaving that into the side of your head.

[–]haloquent 5 points6 points ago

does anyone else think this looks like the antique tegan&sara

[–]bananahead 18 points19 points ago

Looks more like a Payot http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Payot

[–]Moofyman 3 points4 points ago

Not curled like Peyos. For those interested, that's a hebrew plural, so it's pronounced "Pay-oat"

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

Ashkenazi pronounce tavs w/o the dagesh mark (dot in the middle) as an s sound, such as not rolling on shomer shabbos. That's the purpose of the peyos spelling, modern hebrew with or without the dagesh is a t though.

[–]cutofyourgibberish 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only one shocked that the hipsters haven't yet claimed the Payot?

[–]thoriginal 5 points6 points ago

How 'bout you Sideburns, you want some of this milk?

[–]Nuclayer 4 points5 points ago

I would rather have a beer.

[–]fadedseaside 11 points12 points ago

Is that Ira Glass?

[–]NonsequiturSushi 1 point2 points ago

Today on this American life. Long shaggy sideburns... A whole episode dedicated to androgynous teens with bad haircuts. Stories of teenage angst and the chaos it causes..

(unnecessary pause)

Act one is titled...

[–]Majings 26 points27 points ago

Jemaine anyone?

[–]SCSweeps 16 points17 points ago

He may be did.

[–]Majings 14 points15 points ago

He maybe did what?

[–]SCSweeps 12 points13 points ago

No he may be dead.

[–]Majings 8 points9 points ago

Are you guys fucking with me? Oh. Ohh

[–]James1984 3 points4 points ago

The right image looks like Scarlett Johansson!

[–]vainamo- 4 points5 points ago

Sideburns level: Hasidic

gender level: somehow still quite ambiguous

[–]potted 5 points6 points ago

Jewish hippy?

[–]Matterplay 10 points11 points ago

Looks like one of those Jewish sideburns... Jew burns.

[–]Greek7abibi 16 points17 points ago

Justin Beiber!

[–]WaywardSpaniard 2 points3 points ago

The thing on the right.

[–]kolm 2 points3 points ago

Asimov?

[–]uRprobablyagay 2 points3 points ago

That girl shouldn't be sporting sideburns, I don't care what religion.

[–]fishybowl 2 points3 points ago

in the words of Steven Tyler " Dude looks like a lady "

[–]RussellG2000 2 points3 points ago

Mazel tov! Its a boy!...er girl?

[–]DrEnrique 2 points3 points ago

Why did the thumbnail remind me of Jemaine Clement from Flight of The Conchords?

[–]Rocky-sparklenuts 6 points7 points ago

Please give some info on these photos, such as when, where, why, who how,and did the photographer chuckle ?

[–]seager 1 point2 points ago

Bieber?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

looks like a girl... or justin beiber which ever you prefer.

[–]EthicalReasoning 1 point2 points ago

average seattle hipster

[–]iorgfeflkd 1 point2 points ago

Those aren't sideburns, those are sidelocks.

[–]ghostofanimus 1 point2 points ago

pure class~

[–]w3sticles 1 point2 points ago

I thought it was Jermaine Clement in the thumbnail.

[–]fallencathedral 1 point2 points ago

Ladychops!

[–]Willard2566 1 point2 points ago

Mozel Tov!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Well that's the most horrific thing I've seen all day.

[–]Benzur 1 point2 points ago

Sideburneon has evolved into Sideburnizard!!

[–]PolarTX 1 point2 points ago

the jew is strong with this one

[–]happyfactory 1 point2 points ago

The one on the right could be Scarlett Johansson...

[–]laustcozz 1 point2 points ago

So this is what Scarlett Johansonn looked like in high school.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

[–]edu723 1 point2 points ago

can't tell if guy

or girl

[–]sexi_squidward 1 point2 points ago

I can't tell if the person on the left is either Justin Bieber or a woman

[–]I_work_too_much 1 point2 points ago

The one on the right looks like Scarlett Johansson...in all of my dreams.

[–]FUCITADEL 1 point2 points ago

I'm honestly wondering if he's a Hasidic Jew, and he just tried to cool himself up a bit.

[–]Mr_Subtlety 1 point2 points ago

TIL: Rachel Maddow is a werewolf.

[–]Eyger 1 point2 points ago

[–]Kimberlylynn2003 1 point2 points ago

I really don't know if this is a boy or girl?

[–]aceoftrachs 2 points3 points ago

Looks like a Farside character.

[–]tjjohnsto 1 point2 points ago

[–]fgw_three 9 points10 points ago

That looks like Kevin Bacon in drag.....

[–]medioxcore 3 points4 points ago

i can confirm the validity of this statement.

[–]MrChurchSir 2 points3 points ago

Lady Bacon.

[–]promethius_rising 1 point2 points ago

HOLY CRAP! IT'S FEMALE BACON! MY LIFE IS COMPETE! WE HAVE COMBINED WOMEN AND BACON!

[–]AWildLurkerAppears49 1 point2 points ago

Yup. I didn't believe the claim before clicking but yup. It gets creepier the longer you look.

[–]Leafytuna 0 points1 point ago

American culture might not be that fantastic right now but at least that's not a thing.

[–]ehpuckit 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, terrible sideburns but look at the eyes. He sees the invisible jellyfish.

[–]lazerkitty00 0 points1 point ago

jew crazy, girl

[–]DeedTheInky 0 points1 point ago

Well.... you gotta try stuff out, I guess.

[–]itchebauls 0 points1 point ago

they look like they go to Shiretown HS

[–]dg10050 0 points1 point ago

I'm not sure those are even legally considered sideburns at that point.

[–]Wajin 0 points1 point ago

Good lord!

[–]mul4mbo 0 points1 point ago

[–]MuchNeededAdvice 0 points1 point ago

Mother of Sideburns!!!

[–]lukaskywalker 0 points1 point ago

its fuckin J biebs

[–]doubleu 0 points1 point ago

hipster/instagram right?

[–]buttguy 0 points1 point ago

This reminds me of a Woman my friend used to work with.

[–]lilbill77 0 points1 point ago

more like orthodox jew burns. sorry too far I know

[–]Radioactive24 0 points1 point ago

Level of Jew: Yahweh

[–]gobstopper84 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, the sideburns are crazy, but those glasses are adorable on her!!

[–]Dev1ousPengu1n 0 points1 point ago

Malcolm's friend Stevie Kenarban?

[–]mikejam1958 0 points1 point ago

Wow. Just ............................ Wow.

[–]ctess 0 points1 point ago

Those aren't sideburns, he's just jewish.

[–]frickinsweetdude 0 points1 point ago

You've made a terrible mistake

[–]cc79 0 points1 point ago

those aren't sideburns, they are an attempt at sideburns.

[–]ScanExam 0 points1 point ago

Sideburns level: Orthodox

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Is this from some kind of Yiddish anime made in the 70's?

[–]Arvald 0 points1 point ago

Not giving a fuck level = master

[–]ryuuzaki96ify 0 points1 point ago

twice on the frontpage in the same day, kudos :D

[–]larrykins 0 points1 point ago

Looks like Naniwa.

[–]dan2737 0 points1 point ago

Someone 'shop a kippa on his head.

[–]Gay4BillKaulitz 0 points1 point ago

pe'ot ≠ sideburns

[–]mynameisimportant 0 points1 point ago

jewburns

[–]Ninja_Arena 0 points1 point ago

x post this to fringe

[–]Bear_Paw 0 points1 point ago

I wish my sideburns looked like bacon.

[–]RandyMarshCT 0 points1 point ago

"How 'bout you, Sideburns.... you want some of this milk?" "I'd rather have a beer."

[–]contigi 0 points1 point ago

Good God, Lemon!

[–]schwarzkopf123 0 points1 point ago

Shit!!! that looks like Robin from HIMYM

[–]apacifico3 0 points1 point ago

Well, everyday "the Biebs" looks more and more like a girl.

[–]criticalnegation 0 points1 point ago

seems jewy

[–]LordLoki 0 points1 point ago

Does anyone else see this guy?

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0181787/resumephotos

[–]LulFace 0 points1 point ago

What a curly haired jew.

[–]QuickPhix 0 points1 point ago

Liz Lemon!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I don't know if anyone noticed but that's a chick.

[–]pingspike 0 points1 point ago

What in the name of Rapunzel is that. wow.

[–]RuafaolGaiscioch 0 points1 point ago

Aside from the hair, this looks an uncomfortable amount like my ex.

[–]Daveyd325 0 points1 point ago

She looks like Ash from "Hey Ash Whatcha Playin'?"

[–]doginabathtub 0 points1 point ago

"Yes, this shirt is nice and all... but can we make the lapels long enough to meet in the back?"

[–]brussels4breakfast 0 points1 point ago

What in the holy hell???? I can see that this is a girl but what parent would let their child wear their hair like that?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

That's so weird - if you took out the sideburns that picture looks exactly like a cross between my dad and my mom, in the 1960s.

[–]jay-cazam 0 points1 point ago

Young Princess Leia.

[–]brenda0923 0 points1 point ago

Now that is commitment to a look!

[–]navybean 0 points1 point ago

God, I miss FOTC. Why!? Why!

[–]Lavarocked 0 points1 point ago

He is the Jewisht.

[–]SgtFiddlestixx 0 points1 point ago

Dat collar.

[–]Schnapplegangers 0 points1 point ago

Would still bang.

[–]azombiehummingbird 0 points1 point ago

I think those are chicks and it looks to me like old school skinhead woman hair cuts. http://www.flickr.com/photos/adevlinphotography/2095081833/

[–]soggy_cereal 0 points1 point ago

Ira Glass?

[–]kg333 0 points1 point ago

Those aren't sideburns. Sideburns are facial hair.

[–]beastlybumblebee 0 points1 point ago

I think you're all confused because that clearly is Justin Bieber.

[–]sgtpppr 0 points1 point ago

The probability of this subject having super human abilities is more than 96%.

[–]special_words 0 points1 point ago

Definitely going to heaven. Leviticus blah blah blah

[–]cadillac1950 0 points1 point ago

fucking hipsters....

[–]Bobic2 0 points1 point ago

I got 99 problems but a gentile aint one

[–]Get_off_the_stage 0 points1 point ago

Spotted a hottie behind those burns

[–]teamshroom 0 points1 point ago

i think that is just pure style:D

[–]DerpsterHill 0 points1 point ago

Kinda looks like justin bieber with sideburns

[–]Kruse 0 points1 point ago

Location and date: 2012, Portland.

[–]BootWizard 0 points1 point ago

After some more redditing, I'm going to go shave off my sideburns. I give up after seeing this. There is no awesome viking beard in my future, i'll just end up looking like this poor ugly jew.

[–]cstonerun 0 points1 point ago

Respect.

[–]pollock1945 0 points1 point ago

She would be soooooooooooo pretty if she cut those off!

[–]frenchy612 0 points1 point ago

Acidic Jew... calling it!

[–]delirkh 0 points1 point ago

[–]Irish_Ronaldo 0 points1 point ago

That is definitely Justin Beiber in a rabbi costume.

[–]bryandenny71 0 points1 point ago

Sideburn level: Jew.

[–]liebemintz 0 points1 point ago

The pic on the left looks like Janeane Garafalo.

[–]dbbo 0 points1 point ago

At least someone read Leviticus.

[–]ivanwarrior 0 points1 point ago

chocolate rain!

[–]fishkybuns 0 points1 point ago

I'd call those "ear tails", over sideburns.

[–]dawnday9622 0 points1 point ago

mazel tov!

[–]iHaveYearsAheadOfMe 0 points1 point ago

white koothrappali?

[–]ilike806 0 points1 point ago

[–]LNMagic[!] 0 points1 point ago

Never did I think I'd see feminine sideburns.

[–]mopxhead 0 points1 point ago

Hipsters. Had sideburns before they were cool

[–]the_reciever 0 points1 point ago

Ambrose Burnside's great grandaughter Ambrosia

[–]danoll 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit! Justin bieber is immortal!

[–]UnCommonSenses 0 points1 point ago

Jewish beiber

[–]BezerkMushroom 0 points1 point ago

Wow, I love that giant collar in the left pic. The thickness of that collar almost rivals the length of his sideburns!