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Foreplay after 10 years of marriage. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by vgisverbose

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[–]lou22 822 points823 points ago

Your wife is hot and you look like a door

[–]unholymackerel 427 points428 points ago

He's been framed.

[–]xnerdyxrealistx 124 points125 points ago

He seems too wooden.

[–]doctorofphysick 95 points96 points ago

I bet he'd really like to jamb it in her, though.

[–]ramilehti 58 points59 points ago

You are all being sill-y.

[–]Leeroythezombie 86 points87 points ago

Oh god I can't handle this.

[–]s3c10n8 82 points83 points ago

Bah, this whole thread hinges on puns

[–]Cats_and_hedgehogs 50 points51 points ago

It's adoorable that you guys keep making puns.

[–]Machinax 46 points47 points ago

I'm closing the door on this pun thread right now.

[–]grimism 50 points51 points ago

Lock this thread!

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    [–]micahshell 7 points8 points ago

    I wonder if he hit her on the ass on the way out.

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      [–]donutzsick 19 points20 points ago

      She just needs to play with his knob

      [–]NickWasHere09 24 points25 points ago

      I wonder if their relationship is ajar.

      [–]Terry__Tsurugi 9 points10 points ago

      At least he still has a spring in his step

      [–]BeefSnakStik 15 points16 points ago

      Nah, I think he's adoorable.

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        [–]LibraryDrone 2 points3 points ago

        Waka Waka

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          [–]NO_CARRIER 1118 points1119 points ago

          Speaking as one who's been married considerably longer than 10 years: if sex with your spouse is boring, you're doing it wrong.

          [–][deleted] 156 points157 points ago

          Wait, so the GIF was supposed to be "boring foreplay"? It's the hottest thing I've seen all day.

          [–]Apostolate 38 points39 points ago

          I just noticed the slight pulse in her chest looking at it again.

          Me Breasta.

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            [–]Xeibra 378 points379 points ago*

            As a 23 year old who is constantly exposed to people talking about how much marriage sucks, thank you for actually providing some perspective that makes me want to get married in the future.

            EDIT Wow, didn't expect to get that much feedback. Thank you to everyone who responded to this for providing a youngster with some positive perspective.

            [–][deleted] ago

            [deleted]

            [–]ObidiahWTFJerwalk 85 points86 points ago

            They're too busy having sex to post on reddit.

            [–]madwickedguy 196 points197 points ago

            I talk about how awesome my marriage is alot. The problem is, misery loves company, and they REALLY hate happiness... Most people don't want to hear how awesome your life is. It reminds them of how much theirs sucks. This year I'll be married 15 years, been together for 17. Knew the moment I saw her I'd spend the rest of my life with her (and she felt the exact same). Spent the first 4 years together without going 24 hours and not seeing her. We talk all day, every day, we even worked together at the same company for 2 straight years, commuting there and home, talking like newly discovered lovers. She's my best friend, and a great person. We have two great kids, a small house and a modest income... I literally couldn't ask for more out of life. I think the reason relationships fail is because people don't try to understand anything but their own wants and needs, and aren't willing to give (not everything, but give what's needed).

            [–]LakewaterHair 95 points96 points ago

            I almost had a heart attack because I thought you were my dad.

            My parents have been married 21 years and are with each other EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF THE DAY. They've been working together for about 8 years now. Everyone always notices how happy they are and how in love they seem.

            They were the gross parents that kissed a lot. It was extremely embarrassing as a kid but now that I'm an adult in my own relationships I realize how bad some other kids had it with parents who barely ever spoke.

            They're soul mates, and I don't even believe in soul mates.

            [–]StendhalSyndrome 16 points17 points ago

            I hope when we have kids one day this is how they see us. My rents slept in separate bedrooms and have now for almost a decade( dad snores like a chainsaw mom waked up at a tissue dropping), and between their work schedules and sheer amount of hours were never around each other, and just seemed like friends who just stayed together out of ease and lack of a desire to fuck up their kids. Mebe that's what makes me so clingy at times w/ the wifey, thank whoever she enjoys it.

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              [–][deleted] ago

              [deleted]

              [–]madwickedguy 2 points3 points ago

              I think the younger you are, the more selfish you are (while there are exceptions to this rule for sure). And young people who don't want to give anything of themselves and get married, usually fail.

              [–]StendhalSyndrome 8 points9 points ago

              I just tagged you as "listen to his relationship advice". You nailed it right on the head. Another biggie is working for the same goals. One of the main reasons I feel me n mine get along so well is we both have the same wants and needs and realized that really early on we can accomplish more of the things we want as two people working toward one goal than just one. Removing the his or hers and just making everything ours. Lotta trust involved there, as I think we combined our bank accounts after only about 2 years going out but hell she moved in w/ me after one. Sometimes you just know.

              [–]madwickedguy 9 points10 points ago

              Thanks for the tag! Not sure I would take my relationship advice overall, as everyone is different, with different histories. We DO have the same goals and ambitions in life, this is EXTREMELY helpful in getting along... plus the small shit never bothers us. We both have pet peeves that are annoying to one another, but it's just not important enough to get mad about it. Hers is when I leave the eggshells in the egg carton while there are still eggs in it. She never says anything about it, and I try to remember, but it does drive her nuts... mine is the toothpaste tube... she always squeezes from the top of the bottle, pushing all the paste down to the bottom, so I have to squeeze it back up. We both laugh at these little nuances of being human, instead of getting angry about it... we try to remember, but it's just not that important enough.

              [–]TooSubtle 2 points3 points ago

              Thank you, I came here wanting happy relationship posts.

              Now, about your sex life?

              [–]madwickedguy 26 points27 points ago

              Great story there... we have (and had) wildly different libidos. I am a sexual monster... I could fuck 5 times a day and it would never get old... I initiate EVERY time. She, never has overtly sexual thoughts, desires, thus never had the need to act upon that which does not exist... this was a source of pain for many years... then we read a book, and realized that she was a certain type of sexual person. If I start touching her sexually (nipples, ass... etc..) her sexual thoughts and desires suddenly jump to the forefront and she turns into a wonton slut. A book helped us figure this out. I was always wallowing in my own self pity, as if my wife didn't want me, but her mind/body don't work like mine do or other women (alot do however), and the book was called A Sex Starved Marriage, with tons of stories just like ours. When we do have sex (about 2-3 times a week) we ALWAYS have good sex... both leave extremely satisfied... always trying new things... now that we figured out the desire thing, no issues AT ALL. Thanks for asking!

              [–]Applesaucery 10 points11 points ago

              This is valuable information but I just can't stop cackling about "wonton slut."

              Edit: "wanton" = "lustful"; "wonton" = "dumpling"

              [–]blademon64 4 points5 points ago

              In that case I'm a wonton slut, and I'm a guy. Those things are fuckin goooood.

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                    [–]GoodUsernamesTaken 9 points10 points ago

                    Well, we are certainly not quiet about it. But we now can afford apartments with thicker walls/windows, so there are less complaints.

                    [–]Durpulous 19 points20 points ago

                    As they are about everything else in life. No one ever gets on the internet to talk about how wonderful things are.

                    [–]leylanna 15 points16 points ago

                    THIS. I have a very private relationship. I complain with my girlfriends when I have a problem, but im not quick to talk about our intimate moments or how much he hates sleeping without me next to him. Those things make the difference.

                    [–][deleted] ago

                    [deleted]

                    [–]leylanna 6 points7 points ago

                    lol we actually give my boyfriends brother a hard time for that with his wife. When they fight " no I love you more!". I feel like its silly too. nobody needs to hear that all the time...

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                      [–]skylla05 65 points66 points ago

                      Marriage certainly doesn't suck, the problem is some people are comfortable being complacent and just don't put the effort in until it becomes a problem. Imo it's natural to eventually grow bored or tired of a situation you've been in for many years, so variety is key! (especially sexually).

                      [–]CeruleanOak 18 points19 points ago

                      It also doesn't help that people are selfish, which is kind of a problem for lasting relationships. You kind of need to "love" someone (as in, live for THEM, not that movie love crap).

                      [–]spaceylacey83 7 points8 points ago

                      Which works out really well if they're also doing the same for you. I've got his back, he's got mine. Both of us have someone looking out for our happiness above all else.

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                        [–]bw1870 5 points6 points ago

                        It's easy to fall into a rut regardless of your relationship status. If I don't change up my routine, whether I'm single or seeing/living with someone, then I'm going to grow increasingly discontent and miserable.

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                          [–][deleted] 50 points51 points ago

                          Just don't take the passive approach and end up in a bad marriage with the wrong person. Those are the kind of people I feel most sorry for. There are people who passionately get into marriage and passionately fall out of marriage, those are not the type of people I am talking about. I am talking about the (wo)man who has low self-esteem, gets approached one night at a bar by a (wo)man who (s)he is not much attracted to both in personality and appearance, but still ends up sleeping with him/her that evening and then in the next months/years slowly and passively drifts towards marriage with that person. At a certain point it's "shouldn't we get married?" "sure, fine by me". Cue 60 years of unhappiness and writing on Reddit about how awful marriage is. YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

                          [–]wanderederer1 12 points13 points ago

                          Marriage is a team sport. You need to play to each other's strengths, support and cover each other's shortcomings, you need a flip chart with arrows showing where you will do stuff for each other and know when you need to step up that they will step up with you. Now get out there and slap each others buttocks in victory!

                          [–]pmmlordraven 2 points3 points ago

                          THIS^ you have described my marriage entirely. We met, hooked up, it was eh. Not very good but not bad enough to break it off. Two years later of drudging along we had to cohabitate. So I guess we should get married, eh whatever, get married. Only after living together we start to argue, we realize we have not much at all in common, but are together because there is no real terrible reason to get a divorce. But you are right because no attraction means you don't really want to have sex with them, or go anywhere them. You just do because it's been two weeks and damn, I guess we should have an obligatory date and get the bedroom business done so that I don't have to hear about it for another couple days. It starts to stain your outlook on everything.

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                            [–]PolardOOd 9 points10 points ago

                            I've only been married a little over a year but been with her for almost 10... The sex is still just as awesome as its always been. Everything is just as good as its always been...

                            [–]wickedang3l 10 points11 points ago

                            Marriage does suck if you cave to social pressures and get married too fast or to the wrong person.

                            [–]Coolfuckingname 18 points19 points ago*

                            Relationships, like anything, are what you make of them.

                            If you pick a good, loving, dedicated, playful, funny, smart guy you will have a LOT to work with.

                            If you pick a mean, selfish, semi disloyal, serious, lifeless guy (gorgeous, rich, or not) you will have very little to work with.

                            Picking a good loving enthusiastic loyal guy is key.

                            You cant make good food with mediocre ingredients.

                            [–]andrewrula 28 points29 points ago

                            Part of me wants to chime in with "and you should be those things too."

                            There's more to a relationship for a girl than just pointing and going "I want that one!"

                            [–]Coolfuckingname 2 points3 points ago

                            Im a guy.

                            I was just saying it in the frame of reference of the person i was speaking to.

                            I am all those things, but im neither gorgeous or rich. I am very grateful to my longterm girlfriend for seeing past my less healthy characteristics. Im grateful she does see my loyalty, generosity, humor, smarts, and adoration.

                            Im not perfect, but i do my best. Im a lucky guy. I wish my kind of luck to everyone seeking a good partner.

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                              [–]siezethecarpe 3 points4 points ago

                              As someone just like you, thank you for saying that.

                              [–]Stabone130 5 points6 points ago

                              Anything sucks if you let it suck -- job (get a new job), relationship (only stay in good ones), raising kids (spend time with them and teach them things).....most of what I thought would "suck" has not.

                              [–]thebigtshow 9 points10 points ago

                              Marriage doesn't suck. People suck. (But if people suck well, marriage DEFINITELY does not suck.)

                              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

                              As someone who has been married, and divorced, :( I can honestly say marriage is absolutely amazing, even with some negative experiences it is still absolutely fantastic. 5 out of 5 stars, would recommend.

                              [–]awildrozza 3 points4 points ago

                              I'm almost 29, married for almost 3 years and together for 8. After I came back from my honeymoon all I ever got was "it's all down hill from here" from people. It really got to me. my wife suffers from depression. She had a bad spell just before the marriage so the honeymoon wasn't as much 'banging' as you are lead to believe and it stressed me out. What I would say is for a while I did think it was down hill and that was it, but we both got to a better place in our heads, talked!- very important and it's getting better and better again. I'm also thankful for all these other positive stories of much older marriages working out. It really helped. TL;DR It does get better. These positive stories helped me as well.

                              [–]StendhalSyndrome 1 point2 points ago

                              When I was younger and dating all the older folks who were married said don't ever do it cuz you'll barely ever have sex again it's all orgies when your young and available, now I have more often and better sex than before I was married.

                              Everyone who was long married when I was getting married told me not to do it you end up hating your partner. But they are all still w/ the same person they are bitching about. I've now been married for 4 years and together with her for almost 12.

                              Now we don't have kids yet and everyone who has em says don't have em they destroy your life just get dogs, but they all have 3-4 kids each...and dogs....

                              It's just the grass is greener syndrome. Thank whoever that never happened to me, I just feel bad for those people, I am still pretty damn content with my relationship and love the hell outta my lady so no complaints here.

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                                [–]sarsin 63 points64 points ago

                                I'm glad someone came here to say it. Honestly after 11 years of marriage, our sex is way better now than it was in the beginning.

                                [–]gemcitytiffany 20 points21 points ago

                                Seriously man. I've been married almost 9 years and we're having the best sex ever these days. You realize eventually that since this is probably the last person you're ever going to bang, you shouldn't be afraid to have the sex you want to have.

                                [–]spaceylacey83 6 points7 points ago

                                You realize eventually that since this is probably the last person you're ever going to bang, you shouldn't be afraid to have the sex you want to have.

                                I never thought about it that way. Very insightful.

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                                  [–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

                                  Amen to this. Mix it up. Make certain things "off limits" for a while (positions, body parts, whatever), then bring them back later. Do it new places, do new things, whatever it takes to keep you interested. I've been with the same woman almost 12 years, and we're not bored yet.

                                  [–]itsnotatoomer 38 points39 points ago

                                  You shant be fucking my kneecap this month dear, Ceejamon told me so.

                                  [–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

                                  You've been tagged as kneecap fucker, congrats.

                                  [–]fenrisulfur 18 points19 points ago

                                  Came here to say this. I have been with my wife for nearly 14 years and she can still make me go literally weak in the knees.

                                  [–]toxic-frost 2 points3 points ago

                                  That's incredible, I hope I'm lucky enough to find that...

                                  [–]baresilver 15 points16 points ago

                                  Exactly. We just hit 12 years last week (yay!) And sex is way more awesome than when we started out. After all, practice makes perfect, right? It's nice to have someone who knows you and your body well enough to make sure you get where you need to go every time as often as you like. And people mock this? Dude. I'm certain I'm beating all of my single friends in both quality and quantity.

                                  [–]Korfa 204 points205 points ago

                                  Thank you for this! I see so much negativity toward relationships and it just makes me depressed. It's nice to see that someone is still trying and doing well.

                                  [–]jollyjake 100 points101 points ago

                                  Going on 30 years...looking forward to the next 30

                                  [–]BionicChango 63 points64 points ago

                                  Agreed! I've been married 15 years. The shit I do to that girl...

                                  [–]mialbowy 53 points54 points ago

                                  You're into scat? Really?

                                  [–]ta1ntdude 5 points6 points ago

                                  lol these are the kind of comments I like to see.

                                  [–]trauma_queen 4 points5 points ago

                                  One day I hope to have a husband like you :)

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                                    [–]xenodius 45 points46 points ago

                                    Make that two, even in the face health issues! We haven't been able to spend any time together for a couple days and I can't wait to have this afternoon together after work!

                                    [–]The_Chief 24 points25 points ago

                                    Fuck yeah!

                                    [–]SickaNDiRR 24 points25 points ago

                                    NO_CARRIER: Fuck? NO_CARRIER'S wife: YEAH!

                                    [–]NO_CARRIER 2 points3 points ago

                                    Pretty much.

                                    [–]clickitie_click 27 points28 points ago

                                    That being said... Those first 6 - 12 months are something different entirely. The oxytocin is strong in that time.

                                    [–]matadora79 49 points50 points ago

                                    I agree that at first it is hot and heated. but the other night my husband made me have an orgasm for 2 minutes straight.... i did not think that was possible. It was amazing.

                                    [–]ncjenkin 32 points33 points ago

                                    Wait... women can have orgasms, too!? What is this magic!?

                                    [–]matadora79 5 points6 points ago

                                    apparently not all women orgasm.

                                    [–]ncjenkin 10 points11 points ago

                                    This is true. And apparently it's not uncommon for the girls that I'm dating (18 - 22 range) to not have orgasms. Something about them not knowing their own bodies and what not. I don't know. I just do what I do and then they leave me.

                                    [–]rderekp 17 points18 points ago

                                    That’s so sad.

                                    [–]ruderabbit 2 points3 points ago

                                    It's okay ... he has an awesome Cat.

                                    [–]moscova89 8 points9 points ago

                                    This is why I avoid having sex with women who don't masturbate.

                                    Don't come to class without doing your homework first!

                                    [–]breathemusic87 5 points6 points ago

                                    I think a lot of it has to do with trusting who they are with though. Knowing that my husband loves me and has my well-being in mind, and loves to please me is just something so freeing. It's much easier to orgasm when you can just let yourself go and know you are safe.

                                    [–]Popped_Tarts 9 points10 points ago

                                    You're doing it wrong.

                                    [–]strivingforever 7 points8 points ago

                                    No.... not necessarily. It took me a year with my boyfriend until I could orgasm regularly.

                                    [–]Chuugokuj1n 7 points8 points ago

                                    Also... Relevant username???

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                                                  [–]buckX 11 points12 points ago

                                                  It's more than just "someone". Statistically speaking, married folks are happier than cohabiting and single folks, it's just not in vogue to discuss.

                                                  [–]bettse 10 points11 points ago

                                                  Statistically speaking, married folks are happier than cohabiting and single folks,

                                                  Recent studies show that to be untrue after a honeymoon period:

                                                  We found that differences between marriage and cohabitation tend to be small and dissipate after a honeymoon period. Also while married couples experienced health gains - likely linked to the formal benefits of marriage such as shared healthcare plans - cohabiting couples experienced greater gains in happiness and self-esteem

                                                  http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-04-02/man-woman/30647719_1_cohabitation-marriage-happiness

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                                                      [–]scgoodolboy 14 points15 points ago

                                                      18 years married for me and I am only 37 yrs old. We were school sweethearts. I met her and started seeing her when I was in 6th and she was in 9th grade. When she was a senior I was a Freshman. One year after I got out of high school we married and have had our share of ups and downs but I wouldn't trade a day. People have a misconception that if you find the right one it all just works magically. You have to work and work hard at marriage. There will be times you want to choke each other or just get in the car and never come back but I am old school and raised by parents I watched work at their marriage for over 37 years now. I treat my vows of marriage as a contract with my wife. I promised to never leave or cheat on her till I died and that is what I will do. Sex is great and even after all these years we find ways of making it interesting.

                                                      [–]LactoseGalaxy 13 points14 points ago

                                                      Bravo!

                                                      [–]BABYEATER1012 8 points9 points ago

                                                      Bing-freaking-o! If one is adventurous sex with someone you love will always be fun.

                                                      [–]GundamWang 17 points18 points ago

                                                      But whatever you do, don't stick a rose into your penis. It ends badly for your urethra, or so I hear.

                                                      [–]RattsWoman[!] 11 points12 points ago

                                                      So you hear

                                                      Mmmmmmmhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ಠ_ಠ

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                                                        [–]Ruckus 8 points9 points ago

                                                        I totally agree. My wife and I have Been together 22 years and married 10, our sex life is better and kinkier than ever.

                                                        WINNING...

                                                        [–]railroad-redditor 6 points7 points ago

                                                        NO_CARRIER, eh?

                                                        Haha you're old I bet.

                                                        [–]ihaveopposablethumbs 1 point2 points ago

                                                        Came here to say this ^ Thank you for saving me the effort. :)

                                                        [–]jackdbunny 1 point2 points ago

                                                        Married 10 years. Together 13. The sex just gets better every year.

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                                                          [–]AnalBurns 118 points119 points ago

                                                          More of her. And also, obligatory album set.

                                                          [–]punknoflowers 106 points107 points ago

                                                          "So, uh, what do you do for fun round here?"

                                                          "Well, speaking personally; I like to wiggle things on camera."

                                                          [–]Cats_and_hedgehogs 14 points15 points ago

                                                          Relevant

                                                          [–]Pzychotix 16 points17 points ago

                                                          I don't know what I expected. I just know that I didn't expect that.

                                                          [–]HowsItGoinFloppy 4 points5 points ago

                                                          I remembered this video as soon as I saw him and thought I should shut it off but I left it going and laughed at myself instead.

                                                          cool story

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                                                              [–]CupcakeKitten 15 points16 points ago

                                                              Yes, everyone keeps linking to that album, but that doesn't tell me anything! All I learned is that she's pretty hot, has big boobs, and does strange things with various objects. Who is she? Is she a porn star? A YouTube celebrity? A blogger? An astronaut? A robot from the future? Who is she?!

                                                              [–]StretchinAZ 6 points7 points ago*

                                                              She used to be a big poster at http://oldtimereligion.tumblr.com/ (NSFW) and then she deleted all her stuff. Everything I've seen in the album came from there.

                                                              I can't remember why she deleted her account though.

                                                              [–]Cactusgun 7 points8 points ago

                                                              so she just makes things wiggle for a living?

                                                              [–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

                                                              Maybe it's just me but she does look way hotter with glasses.

                                                              [–]wind_up_bird 32 points33 points ago

                                                              Thank you, AnalBurns.

                                                              [–]DrCheezburger 3 points4 points ago

                                                              Hookers or Cake: instant classic!

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                                                                [–][deleted] 71 points72 points ago

                                                                This girl looks EXACTLY like my sister.

                                                                [–]comrade_leviathan 347 points348 points ago

                                                                I came here to post this... she does look just like your sister!

                                                                [–][deleted] 275 points276 points ago

                                                                http://i.imgur.com/TQjfJ.gif

                                                                [–]Theonetrue 4 points5 points ago

                                                                This little dialogue just made my reddit day, can go to bed satisfied now

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                                                                  [–]dallywolf 17 points18 points ago

                                                                  Just with more clothes.

                                                                  [–]ZombieDib 25 points26 points ago

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                                                                    [–]Ruderalis 11 points12 points ago

                                                                    Pics or it isn't true

                                                                    [–]a300zx4pak 10 points11 points ago

                                                                    don't you mean, pics of her boobs?

                                                                    [–]SmartAssX 6 points7 points ago

                                                                    tits or gtfo

                                                                    [–]psybermonkey15 5 points6 points ago

                                                                    I demand a picture of proper comparison.

                                                                    [–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

                                                                    I don't have a pic of her when her hair is like that, or one with her wearing those glasses and her fb profile only has a few pics but don't do it justice. But I can provide proof. This is a screen shot of me, sending the pic to her. and her and my dad commenting on it. http://i.imgur.com/pROLo.png

                                                                    [–]PartyBusGaming 8 points9 points ago

                                                                    Way to not throw your sister to the sharks, bro!

                                                                    [–]thelegore 18 points19 points ago

                                                                    That is quite unhelpful. Edit: Because really, psybermonkey15 didn't want pics for the proof.

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                                                                        [–]REDDIT- 319 points320 points ago

                                                                        Interesting trend lately pairing blatant reposts as reactions to unique situations. It's like a Reddit loophole.

                                                                        I've upvoted you, but I feel dirty.

                                                                        [–]J_Crow 13 points14 points ago

                                                                        There's a subreddit for that.

                                                                        [–]GeneralWarts 29 points30 points ago

                                                                        Woah, Déjà vu.

                                                                        </neo>

                                                                        [–]REDDIT- 19 points20 points ago

                                                                        Hey, we meet again! Does this make us best friends?

                                                                        [–]GeneralWarts 23 points24 points ago

                                                                        Yep!

                                                                        [–]MetalCanine 9 points10 points ago

                                                                        I swear I can hear Will Ferrell's Beautiful voice. Does this make us best friends as well?

                                                                        [–]zedrahc 2 points3 points ago

                                                                        well ya know, if it fits, it ships

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                                                                          [–]KoreanTerran 69 points70 points ago

                                                                          It's hard to believe no one thought to take your username until 6 days ago.

                                                                          [–]iSmokeTheXS 4 points5 points ago

                                                                          I'm sure REDDIT% and REDDIT^ are also not taken.

                                                                          [–]Astrodogg 33 points34 points ago

                                                                          Why? It's not like it's "REDDIT" it's "REDDIT-" with a dash. Why would anyone have made an account with a dash at the end?

                                                                          [–]Sybock- 488 points489 points ago

                                                                          =(

                                                                          [–]phrygN 96 points97 points ago

                                                                          It's okay, buddy. Astrodogg didn't mean it. fatherly side hug

                                                                          [–]smarterthanhomer 96 points97 points ago

                                                                          Wanna go take a dump in Astrodogg's shoes?

                                                                          [–]Faaaabulous 31 points32 points ago

                                                                          Better yet, let's take a dump in a paper bag then we'll light it on fire on his porch.

                                                                          [–]i-dont-have-a-gun 29 points30 points ago

                                                                          In his shoes, right?

                                                                          [–]aROBination 5 points6 points ago

                                                                          Don't put it out with your boots Teddd!

                                                                          [–]shoryukenist 4 points5 points ago

                                                                          You called the shit dump.

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                                                                              [–]Hatch- 29 points30 points ago

                                                                              :-(

                                                                              [–]norwegian_radiowave 17 points18 points ago

                                                                              I think it's a silent dash.

                                                                              [–]Soup_bones 29 points30 points ago

                                                                              "Tha Dash don't be silent"

                                                                              [–]underbridge 23 points24 points ago

                                                                              I'm sorry La-a.

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                                                                                        [–]phlump 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                        WHO IS THIS WOMAN!?

                                                                                        [–]furyasd 33 points34 points ago

                                                                                        Came here for girl's name.

                                                                                        Was disappointed.

                                                                                        [–][deleted] ago

                                                                                        [deleted]

                                                                                        [–]tokomini 39 points40 points ago

                                                                                        Wow. She's very attractive, but those are some of the most pointless .gifs I have ever seen. I mean...why?

                                                                                        It just looks like she is in constant agreement with someone, or having a very mild seizure.

                                                                                        [–]Khanhrhh 19 points20 points ago

                                                                                        Rule 34.

                                                                                        Agreeable girls having seizures.

                                                                                        It's a thing.

                                                                                        [–]a300zx4pak 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                        wow, she's VERY pretty

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                                                                                            [–]Estydeez 20 points21 points ago

                                                                                            i seriously would not mind her doing that to me

                                                                                            [–]iSmokeTheXS 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                            She knows what she's doing.

                                                                                            [–]andrewsmith1986 86 points87 points ago

                                                                                            I hate this gif because it gets that damn sound in my head and nothing can satisfy it.

                                                                                            Fuck you door stopper.

                                                                                            [–]KoreanTerran 11 points12 points ago

                                                                                            It's currently only foreplay that's happening to that door stopper.

                                                                                            [–]itsbehindyou 17 points18 points ago

                                                                                            How about this? http://garyc.me/bring/ Enjoy!

                                                                                            [–]laldans 10 points11 points ago

                                                                                            It sounds like a malfunctioning motorcycle. :l

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                                                                                              [–]moddestmouse 14 points15 points ago

                                                                                              /r/dubstep

                                                                                              [–]aldog24 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                              boing boing boing boing boing boing boing boing

                                                                                              [–]iSmokeTheXS 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                              No no no, it's boi yoi yoi yoi yoing

                                                                                              [–]weehot 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                              You could just stick it in your anus.

                                                                                              [–]StewieBanana 6 points7 points ago

                                                                                              It would probably still make that sound though.

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                                                                                                [–]SimilarImage 108 points109 points ago

                                                                                                Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
                                                                                                1 month jammasterdj Reason I couldn't sleep last night /r/gifs 33 30
                                                                                                1 month remember_cassettes I find this gif semi erotic here 106 683
                                                                                                1 month Clauderoughly Steam is down.. So this is going to be how I spend my Sunday. /r/gaming 16 23

                                                                                                This is an automated response

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                                                                                                [–]Pravusmentis 10 points11 points ago

                                                                                                But this one has a different title, so it's not the same. Right?

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                                                                                                  [–]I_shouldnt_register 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                  After 10 years of failed marriage maybe.

                                                                                                  [–]ehazkul 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                                  i mena, i get the joke of the picture, but it doesnt help when the girl in it looks like shes 21 :/

                                                                                                  [–]AndyRooney 21 points22 points ago

                                                                                                  Doesn't matter, still ready.

                                                                                                  [–]PintoTheBurninator 10 points11 points ago

                                                                                                  Married 15 years now and still enjoying it on a weekly basis.

                                                                                                  [–]RancidPonyMilk 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                                  like you're the only one that cheats? big deal

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                                                                                                    [–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                                    Still works for me

                                                                                                    [–]gro55man 13 points14 points ago

                                                                                                    Been with my wife 15-16 years now, married for 8. Last night we literally broke the bed.... It was funny as hell. Session was way too good to stop though, finished up on the broken bed and was up until 1am fixing it.

                                                                                                    So yeah, foreplay and sex are still fun.

                                                                                                    [–]tabret2004 7 points8 points ago

                                                                                                    That strangely turns me on every time I see it...

                                                                                                    [–]Damaband41 18 points19 points ago

                                                                                                    It probably has something to do with the fact that she's hot

                                                                                                    [–]i_m_fury 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                                    That thing goes on the wall, not on the door.

                                                                                                    [–]metal_falsetto 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                                    This girl got married when she was 10?

                                                                                                    [–]DiscoMonkay 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                                    Am I the only one who has grown up with door springs attached to the skirting board and not the door?

                                                                                                    [–]cboogie[!] 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                                    If your wife is the bored one introduce your wife to reddit and specifically /r/TwoXChromosomes and /r/sex. Since my wife has become a redditor we have exciting sex almost every day of the week. Some days even have multiple rounds. And we have three kids so we in no way are looking to have another baby.

                                                                                                    Baby if you read this we are going to make serious love when I get home from work. Maybe in the kitchen...

                                                                                                    [–]chefanubis 9 points10 points ago

                                                                                                    If she will look like that after 10 years then I don't mind.

                                                                                                    [–]wrinkled_penis 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                    As a foreveraloner, I do not understand this reference.

                                                                                                    [–]TheDuke13 3 points4 points ago

                                                                                                    Christ that's a lot of makeup

                                                                                                    [–]Goodguyscumbag 4 points5 points ago

                                                                                                    OMFG I know that girl! Where did you find this?!?! WTF, she lives right down the street from me.

                                                                                                    edit: Please tell me you found this in porn. That would be so epic.

                                                                                                    [–]BaronOshawott 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                    I still with I knew where the heck that gif is from.

                                                                                                    [–]LactoseGalaxy 5 points6 points ago

                                                                                                    With granted.

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                                                                                                      [–]Reidzy 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                      I have the weirdest boner right now.

                                                                                                      [–]Hungry_Alcoholic 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                      That's a lucky ass doorstop...thing? What's it called?

                                                                                                      [–]daskoon 2 points3 points ago

                                                                                                      the "make the cat scared as shit and jump real high" -er

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                                                                                                        [–]adanvdo 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        This is creepy.

                                                                                                        [–]lecallipygiangirl 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        dm; hs

                                                                                                        [–]FoxyGrampa 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        doesn't matter had sex

                                                                                                        [–]EthicalReasoning 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        so that girl got married at age 11? is she from alabama?

                                                                                                        [–]lilbttrflyangel 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        I totally disagree with this. I wasn't into sex much when we first got married 10 yrs ago because I was a virgin, but as time went on I have discovered what I like and don't like and I sure as hell know what he likes and doesn't like. Now I find myself more ready for sex than he is about 90% of the time. If there is some slight chance that I don't want it, I still give it a shot and end up completely satisfied and happy I had sex!

                                                                                                        [–]b0wz3rx 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        As long as its being touched by someone other than me.

                                                                                                        [–]Mongolor 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        Still hot.

                                                                                                        [–]dilwap 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        I wish my wife looked like that after 10 years of marriage.

                                                                                                        [–]mikeet9 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        I'd be willing to pay her a solid amount of money to flick the tip of my penis like that.

                                                                                                        [–]Durpulous 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        How old was your wife when you married her, 12?

                                                                                                        [–]Moatman 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        Foreplay...or Floorplay?

                                                                                                        [–]mrMishler 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        That would be just fine from her.

                                                                                                        [–]muddymoose 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        I am so disappointed in myself. I can literally fap to anything.

                                                                                                        [–]bruinhenryd 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        i would have sprayed already.

                                                                                                        [–]ProcrastinatorsUnite 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang. Thwang.

                                                                                                        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

                                                                                                        ... And done. Night honey, going to play SWTOR.

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