UPS training manual.

MissQuerade · 7 months

I was sitting in my living room and saw the truck pull up. I heard a faint knock and got up to answer the door. In the 30 seconds it took me to get to the door, they were gone. ಠ_ಠ

Zoembie · 7 months

I caught a driver once, I was sitting right next to the door and heard his footsteps. I opened the door just as he was putting the sticker on without knocking, with no package in hand. He was pissed off he had to go back to his truck for it. Sorry dude! Gotcha!

string97bean · 7 months

What I don't understand is the logic of what packages can be left without a signature, and which can. I had a 27" monitor, new printer, and all the parts for a desktop delivered at Christmas time all left without a signature on my doorstep. I ordered a stuffed Simon's cat for my wife and had to go to UPS with my ID to pick it up.

phliuy · 7 months

College humor original

WBM99 · 7 months

I work in a shop that gets a lot of packages so I've become pretty good friends with the UPS driver that delivers. He brings in the stuff off the truck that is addressed to my apartment and gives it to me so I don't have to worry about someone taking it if he leaves it at my front door. One day, I was supposed to get two packages but he only had one. He saw that I was supposed to get two, and he thought that the other one was on a different truck and out for delivery. I left it at that, said bye to him and kept working, expecting the package to be at my door when I got home. Instead, two hours later, he shows up at my shop. He had found the other truck, got my package off of it and then went out of his way to bring it back and hand deliver it to me. That's what I call service.

idacalledyouwoodyjoe · 7 months

I have this same issue...with FedEx. UPS has never done anything close to this, but FedEx has literally argued with me after I complained they delivered packages to the wrong house (numerous times) saying that I wrong when my neighbour from across the street had to bring me my packages. I also caught them walking away after sticking the "sorry we missed you" note without the package even in hand. UPS has always been decent with their deliveries.

TehFrozenYogurt · 7 months

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTlLOF2moxY

agentlemns · 7 months

The awkward moment when the person is patiently waiting at the door, hears the first whisper, quickly opens the door, and takes the package from your hands, then yells, "I got you motherfucker! You are not taking this one away"

ToastSingularity · 7 months

This implies that UPS drivers actually get out of the vehicle though. I've seen a driver pull up to my house and then drive off 30 seconds later. I checked the tracking info that night and it said "Attempted delivery."

SuburbanWhiteKid · 7 months

Anyone else notice the penis in the middle of the third picture?

rorryantovan · 7 months

I thought I was the only one they did this too...... fuck, every, fucking time

I actually caught them leaving one time bringing the package back to the car. I asked him why he didn't ring the door or knock on the door or make himself present in some normal humanly fashion. He said he knocked on the door. I was there, no one knocked. He didn't even have the package, he just walked up with the note. This was just one time, but this happens EVERY TIME

uh_no_ · 7 months

where is the instruction to chuck the new computer screen over the fence to ensure that it is utterly smashed?

comprehension · 7 months

you forgot "kick they shit out of the package against the curb before approaching the house"

Lakevren · 7 months

This was true except for the whispering part. Happened like 3 times in a row.

It stopped being true once I complained. Now my deliveries are pretty much guaranteed.

williemcbride · 7 months

My UPS guy is awesome. Dan is his name.

THE_alien · 7 months

Every time I see a fat UPS driver: "DOUG!"

Every time I see a black UPS driver: "DEACON!"

Kacer6 · 7 months

All credit to College Humor: http://www.collegehumor.com/article/5776219/employee-manualsprobably

syriquez · 7 months

My brother pre-ordered a Playstation 2 back in the day from GameStop and when it came time to be delivered... UPS left it on the hood of my brother's car in the driveway during a Minnesota winter. Our father stays at home (he's completely blind) and was waiting for the UPS guy to fucking show up and he just left it out there like a fucking asshole.

My brother, mother, and I were out of town for whatever reason and we came back at 8 pm to find it sitting out there.

Diaboli · 7 months

Original link to picture: http://www.collegehumor.com/article/5776219/employee-manualsprobably

GloriousGoldenPants · 7 months

Strange that the post office and FedEx use the same system...

bitewhite · 7 months

Damn it! Link to collegehumor is you're going to blatantly use their content. We can't go around denouncing SOPA and then give no regards to the original content creators. Collegehumor functions by getting page views and the least you can do is link to them and at least cite them as the creator.

meAndb · 7 months

Australia Post FTW. The guy comes out to my backyard, knocks on my granny flat and plays with my dog while I sign.

commiewizard · 7 months

Looks like it's still cool to hate UPS.

psychicsamurai · 7 months

Fucking UPS. I had to ship tools to myself recently and I required a signature so if anything went wrong I could at least track the package. So UPS decides to deliver my package while I am at work. No prob, I thought, I'll just hit up customer service and tell em to hold it at the shipping center for me to pick up after work. When I called them at that number on the info notice they said they were UPS and that they would hold my package. I get to the shipping center and they have no record of my call, they have never seen that number (turns out the info notice has the wrong customer service number) and they already sent the package back. So my package gets all fucked up and then I had to wait two months for them to refund me. After that I used USPS and had no problems.

TL:DR; UPS gave me the wrong customer service number to arrange for pickup, sent my package back to the sender, fucked it up in the process and made me wait two months to refund me. Fuck UPS.

ty556 · 7 months

I manage drivers for one of the big shipping companies. If I may, I'd like to defend these guys. After all the drivers have left the building floods of calls come in from pissed off customers saying that our driver only left a door tag and never knocked... Why on earth would he do this? He'll just have to come back tomorrow to deliver the same package. Also they knock softly because they get complaints when they knock to hard. Why not the doorbell? You would not believe the number of times someone has called in a complaint only to call back a day later apologizing that there door bell is broken. Also door bells wake up babies, and in turn more complaints. It's in the drivers best interest in every way to get the package off of his truck, there next day is only busier if they don't. If you don't want to deal with this shit you have so many options to have your package redirected somewhere else.

chipmunkonspeed · 7 months

This reminds me of my experiences with Fedex.

DroneMan11 · 7 months

When I first read this, I thought it said GPS. I felt utterly confused.

I like this.

extrudedcow · 7 months

There's the one time we had some important documents (some paperwork we needed to keep my sister's health insurance from lapsing) being delivered at the last second. UPS was polite enough to call my mom and let us know that the UPS driver would be there in 10 minutes. Immediately after the call, my mom calls me to make sure I don't miss the UPS driver. I happen to be out walking the dog when I get the call from my mom, but I tell her not to worry, since I'm two blocks away, and can see the only exit to our street. Sure enough, five minutes later I'm staring at a UPS slip stuck to the door.

To be fair to UPS, they had the driver turn around and drop off the paperwork when we called them. However, thinking back on it, I had seen a UPS truck drive by a few minutes before I got the call, suggesting someone seriously dropped the ball on getting the message out.

LewisKolb · 7 months

REPOST BLARGH BAR BLARGH BARRR RAGE!

SpottedMe · 7 months

At least they knock and leave a delivery attempt notice. I swear Purolator doesn't even bother to drive to the destination. I've never seen a delivery guy or gotten a notice from them. How the hell am I supposed to know I have a package if they don't tell me? I refuse to order from companies that only have Purolator as an option now.

Lurfadur · 7 months

I laughed...at everyone's misfortune. Never had a problem with UPS. FedEx on the other hand...

AtomicBitchwax · 7 months

FedEx Training Manual

elementalrain · 7 months

My UPS guy rocks. Sorry everyone else has shitty experiences.

TheForks · 7 months

As a former UPS employee, I can confirm this.

Oddblivious · 7 months

I can confirm fedex uses this manual as well.

Franholio · 7 months

Welcome to Popcopy!

drewpowers · 7 months

FedEx and UPS both follow this in Corvallis. In fact they would throw the box into the bushes next to my door.

kt00na · 7 months

For some reason UPS has gotten extremely lazy lately. The last couple packages they just dropped off at the local post office, and had the USPS send me a note telling me to come get it. Thanks a lot, guys, great fucking delivery job.

Lots42 · 7 months

Your UPS man leaves the truck?

I AM JEALOUS.

MarketMaker01 · 7 months

Better than australia post. Australia post modified it, so they only whisper into the letter box 3 times. Seriously, why walk to the door?

brain_candy · 7 months

Always, ALWAYS use your work/office address if possible!! I can attest that everything will be delivered early and into your hands. They can't pull this bullshit on a company. Companies have lawyers. Home addresses account for a small percentage of post through carriers, so they don't give a fuck.

I work at an accounting firm, and anything this place sends or receives is priority 1. We pay good money for it. My orders from Newegg or Amazon get treated just the same when i get it shipped to work.

TL;DR: Ship to your work address and not your home address. Your package will arrive on the back of a pure-bred Clydesdale a day early.

Also, I must tell my small horror story about USPS:

My GF ordered some earbuds off Newegg. No big deal. Small package, and she selected the cheapest delivery method possible. Any of the other options were more expensive than the earbuds! She smartly heeded my advice and put my work address as the ship-to. Good so far...

UPS took the package 75% of the way here, and then handed it off to USPS for in-state delivery. Somehow, the USPS guy thought it was a good idea to try and deliver it on a Saturday! WE'RE CLOSED, DUMBASS! IT'S AN OFFICE BUILDING!

Well not being able to deliver it, the package was marked "Delivery Attempt" on the tracking site but that was the last anyone saw of it. After seeing this on the tracking site on Monday, I put in for a second attempt for Tuesday. For some reason, USPS will do NOTHING with it unless you tell them to try again. Tuesday... Wednesday...Thursday came and went with no sign of the package or update on the website.

I called the 800 number, and was told to go to the local office to pick it up. Fine. I drive on my lunch break to pick it up. Except, they have no record of my package. They shrug at me and after 45 minutes of these mouth-breathers wandering in circles they throw me attitude and tell me to fuck off. After waiting all weekend with nothing to show for it, i finally call their State Consumer Affairs department. He starts "investigating" the whereabouts of the package. Another week goes by and all he had learned is that it was some random USPS guy who tried to deliver it, and noone can find him.

I asked the Consumer Affairs Manager of USPS what will happen if they give up and determine the package is lost. His words: "We're not responsible for our mistakes."

wut.

He went on to tell me that they have no responsibility to reimburse customers for packages they lose. It makes the TIL about the Hope Diamond being shipped via standard USPS even more appalling.

My GF finally receives an email from Newegg saying that they've processed her RMA, and refunded her charges! WTF?!?!? I called Newegg (who are awesome on the Customer Service front BTW) said they got the package back saying it was UNDELIVERABLE!

After two more days, I get my last call from the Consumer Affairs Supervisor, whom I've been berating about this since Day 1. He says that he got a picture of the package and it was missing the shipping label. and only had the return address on it. When I asked him how it got from CALIFORNIA to NY and into the local offices hands without this, AND attempted to be delivered to the correct address, he had nothing to say. He tried deferring blame onto Newegg, but couldn't justify it at all.

We never reordered those earbuds.

TL;DR #2: USPS tried to deliver to an office on the weekend, then sent it back to the shipping address. Found out USPS has 0 responsibility for losing your shit. BEWARE!

VidenTheColdOne · 7 months

I think they have the same manual as the USPS. Except they should add: "If you're getting prescription meds delivered to your home, leave them in plain sight on the front step"

wookiesandwich · 7 months

I hate these assholes with the power of a million burning suns...they lie, they scam, they lose your shit for weeks on end, and they regularly will 'claim' to try to deliver shit that they dont. I cant count how many times I've stayed home from work for a critical delivery because it was guaranteed to be delivered that day and they never showed up

Stealyphil1905 · 7 months

I got a package the other day and was ready when the guy knocked so that I could I open the door.

knock-knock

1 second wait (1 second is reasonable enough time to make someone think that you heard the knock-got up-walked across the room- and opened the door isn't it?)

I open the door and he's already going down the second half set of stairs which are about 40 fucking steps from my door! I believe that they're just training cheetahs to act like humans and deliver packages...

Mandena · 7 months

[deleted]

NeoTeleSocio · 7 months

For those who don't know, this was originally from CollegeHumor.

OperatorMike · 7 months

UPS is awesome. It's the USPS that sucks. Fucking lazy Feds

os10 · 7 months

this infographic is accurate, UPS really is sinister in their attempts to avoid delivery. meanwhile, i never have a problem getting packages from Fedex or USPS. Fuck yoUPS.

Easy_as_pie · 7 months

Your UPS driver would really rather not come to your house 3 days in a row, but they also don't have time to sit at your door for 10 minutes.

BigT0406 · 7 months

That's so true. I once got a package and my brother asked me where did they drop it off? and I was like well we can pick it up at "scribbles".

Darkencypher · 7 months

Has there been a UPS employee AMA?

batmanmilktruck · 7 months

its missing the alternate option. chuck the package as far as you can over the fence. regardless of FRAGILE written on every side of said brown box.

everytime i am expecting a package, i create a giant landing pad made from old boxes.

jeffha3 · 7 months

This is some similar content I've come across while browsing Reddit. You may agree that this is also comparable to the content of this post.

jacks-colon · 7 months

You can pre-sign for your packages online. "UPS My Choice"

Forgototherpassword · 7 months

I had a signature delivery and no one was home (though i was assured they would be). I called to see if they could give me the general vicinity of the truck so I could catch it*. They said they could call me back within an hour and I could pick it up at the facility. When the call came, they said the driver would drop it by in 20 minutes.

+1 UPS

(*They wont tell you where the truck is so you don't steal packages)

demonstar55 · 7 months

My UPS driver is the fucking man. His actions make me not believe a word in this image.

maleman · 7 months

This is yet another scenario where having a dog is handy. He'll hear you coming up the walk, and be at the door before you are. Whisper anything and he's likely to lose his mind barking if he isn't already doing so simply due to your proximity.

uguysmakemesick · 7 months

This just happened to me...

UPSguy · 7 months

This training manual is ten years old. Ninjas don't give away their trade secrets.

Nebraska_Actually · 7 months

I've never had a problem with the UPS guy; he goes out of his way to get us our package, and is very obviously annoyed that the apartment complex's office no longer accepts packages for residents (read: students) that are away for most of the day.

Fishyish · 7 months

Then there's this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTlLOF2moxY

Krellyn · 7 months

That last panel should be changed to:

"Gives your package to the closest person to your house with keys in their hands."

S1ayer · 7 months

With FedEx I can request the package be held at any FedEx location. There are tons of them. One is a few blocks from my house.

With UPS I can reschedule delivery for another day or have them hold it at their center and ONLY their center. It is miles away near the docks in the worst neighborhood ever.

XxDatBlackManxX · 7 months

So that's why I don't have my package yet!!!! IT'S BEEN A YEAR

WOOOOSSH · 7 months

Wow. I knew that UPS was known for this sort of stuff, but this sort of training is ridiculous. How can they afford to stay in business with such rampant unprofessionalism?

Look_Im_On_Reddit · 7 months

Actually I've never had this problem with UPS, which I've used multiple times. But the times it had to be FedEx?(I think 3 times) This happened every time.

ckeifer90 · 7 months

My Ups guy, Gill, is pretty amazing. We usually chat for about 10-15 minutes and If I notice something wrong with a package he comes back later, even If he is on his way back to the shop, to allow me to give it back to him. If I have a package to delivery he will tape it up for me If I don't have packaging tape.

DeathByToothPick · 7 months

I just learned alot of shit about UPS from these comments :)!

UsernameCommenter · 7 months

well that is certainly Diabolical !

coffeeholic15 · 7 months

At least UPS "tries" to deliver packages. Fedex doesn't even bother taking the packages to the apartments. They go straight to the office without even leaving a note on the door. The kicker is they tell the apartment managers that they've tried delivering it to the residents so the managers don't let us know we have packages and give us all kinds of shit when they have been holding our packages for weeks.

....rant over.

newtothelyte · 7 months

This manual is old. The newer manuals tell you to leave all packages that look expensive on the doorstep.

goofball_jones · 7 months

I get stuff delivered to my home a few times a week. I have a detached garage from the house and EVERY time, they stop and come to the garage door, knock and leave a note there if I'm not vigilant and see them. It's like they think I'm just standing in my garage all day waiting for them.

Even after seeing that I'm in the house, two days later they're there knocking on the garage again. WTF.

LancerSykera · 7 months

I think this is a DHL training manual. I was waiting all day long for my new camera, TV off, even spent half the time sitting on the front porch, and somehow I magically missed him.

The only good thing about DHL though is that you can call them right away and have them redeliver right away, he came back in 10 minutes. UPS, as great as I think they are, claim they have no way of contacting the driver.

xarcond · 7 months

Very nice. Now I'd like to see one for FedEx where they train you to throw the package like a ninja throwing star.

boobers3 · 7 months

UPS just leaves my packages on the front porch. Thousand dollars worth of computer hardware, let's just leave that out in the open with no one to watch it.

sleenkey · 7 months

Right?>? Fing bastages

Box-Monkey · 7 months

Page 13 of what!? I must know!

ivaliciantea · 7 months

My father is a UPS driver...and while the code may differ somewhat from area to area, it pretty much stays consistent that if you report an item as "not received" and call the managers, the cost of the item comes out of the driver's paycheck. They don't want that to happen, I promise you. /nodnod

spicytim · 7 months

It must be nice to actually get the slip that they claim they leave...

tolson411 · 7 months

My UPS guy comes to my house wearing short shorts and an African safari hat and whenever he delivers a package he says, "I've got a delivery from the mystical land of Amazonia!"

tarraaa · 7 months

I work at FedEx express. Most of the drivers here have been here forever! Everyone at FedEx seems to love their jobs. It's not uncommon to see people who have been delivering for 10+ years. I work in data and a lot of our commercial clients seem to have switched over after bad experiences with ups. Purplator is good here too!

grep_dat · 7 months

I have the opposite experience: It's more like I think my house is about to be raided by the FBI by how loud they knock.

jasonxwoods · 7 months

Being from the UK I can confirm this is how the Royal Mail works.

Wierdest_boner · 7 months

Oh boy, I had one hell of a time as a seasonal helper. I can confirm secret ninja training. Although, a couple people will have to speak up and ask for specific, otherwise, it's bedtime.

toothblanket · 7 months

Dont forget to mention them showing up at 9AM, when you're probably asleep or out.

Redditovernoveragain · 7 months

LOL. This is an example of what reddit should be for!

Semajal · 7 months

Every UPS delivery I have (in England mind) has been perfect. Packages not damaged, well dressed and polite delivery people. Generally regard them as one of the best options here. The weird bit is getting deliveries from Amazon, as they seem to just get random people to drive round and do them.

Waffuru · 7 months

I'm a Fedex pickup driver, so I don't deliver packages often, but when I do... I knock loudly, and I knock multiple times. I give it about 5 minutes before I give up and fill out a slip, but I really hate filling out door tags and having to bring that package back to the station. I'll do everything I can to deliver any package I end up taking out short of leaving it on their doorstep (there are no "safe" doorsteps on my route.).

But again, as a pickup driver, I don't have the kind of stress on me that those delivery guys do. Not excusing the stealth tagging, but I'm guessing some of them knock lightly and run because they're running late. x.x Still uncool.

f3tch · 7 months

Give the fucking source or you are the type of person who is destroying OC on the Internet.

kindredflame · 7 months

Lucky for us, one of our dogs is convinced that the UPS guy is the antichrist. He starts growling at the window the moment the truck turns down our street.

botchok5 · 7 months

UPS here in England is good...... DHL on the other hand, errrr.

apollo84 · 7 months

lol the funny part is most the people who read this have no idea how hard the job actually is.

brussels4breakfast · 7 months

FedEx does this little annoying 'trick'. If you aren't home they leave a note telling you they will try to deliver the item again. The next attempt they leave a note telling you to pick up your item at some far away unknown place. However, you don't know this until you call that if you sign your name on the first tag telling the driver to leave the package, he or she will.

electricmice · 7 months

if only ups cared so much. more like they sit in their car and write the slip, then ring your doorbell/knock once and begin walking away immediately. if i don't run out, they'll be gone by the time i open the door. they don't care one way or the other, the packages never stop coming. if they don't get you today, they'll do it tomorrow. if not you, someone else. this is why i always prefer fedex, those guys are not stressed out and they're nicer when you meet them. ups has a tight quota that drivers have to meet so they're assholes when you meet them. the only reason why i hate buying from newegg is ups. and for fuck sake they refuse to just leave it on the door.

Theotropho · 7 months

funny but inaccurate. UPS is not only superior but also pays income tax.

amolad · 7 months

What can brown do for you? = nothing

diggernaught · 7 months

missing the part where they kick the box out of the truck, then proceed to throw it at the doorbell while running as fast as they can to get back on the moving truck on it's way to the next stop or pause rather.

dadoftwins71309 · 7 months

I guess I'm the odd one out. Our UPS guy honks when we gets in front of your house. He's been nothing but nice.

bigfatredditard · 7 months

You forgot the part where the "just missed you" slip is dated 15 minutes in the future.

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