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all 167 comments

[–]OW_Gam 81 points82 points ago

That's why I love that my family only celebrates the eating and getting together part of any holiday.

[–]Hammer38 32 points33 points ago

Christmas: Decorate a tree, open some gifts and eat a nice dinner. Hanukkah: Light a menorah and eat latkes. Easter, eat candy and decorate eggs. Passover: have a nice seder. Culture: 1, assorted gods: 0.

[–]Matthias21 21 points22 points ago

The food... oh lordy the food... its Easter and my dads birthday tomorrow... JEEZY CHREEZY I CANT WAIT!

[–]Zero_Kool 10 points11 points ago

Upvote for the Eddie Izzard reference...

[–]bbg2g 0 points1 point ago

Same here! Are you my brother?

[–]Matthias21 1 point2 points ago

Are you a dick? My brothers are dicks

[–]wipeout4wh 3 points4 points ago

You celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah?

[–]ragault 6 points7 points ago

Why the hell not?

[–]CaptainSombrero 4 points5 points ago

Sorry, I can't come in to work ever, I need to worship every god ever, just in case.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Yes indeed, this! Nom nom nom

[–]OW_Gam 6 points7 points ago

Yep and my mom is like the best cook ever. Almost everything is from scratch, even the desserts. Holidays and birthdays (for the birthday meal) are the best.

[–]rhymes_with_truck 1 point2 points ago

I'm good with that. My girlfriend's family are religious, but I only have to deal with a saying of grace by her father (which is a little inarticulate and more than a little rambling) but no attempts to convert me.

[–]OW_Gam 2 points3 points ago

Yeah before my grandfather died we would say grace when we went to his house for holidays, but I'd just look around when I realized no one was watching me. It was hard not starting to eat before everyone was done though.

[–]CompoundMix 0 points1 point ago

Many people actually pray with their heads down but with their eyes open. Less devoted prayers will probably be looking around with their eyes, or atleast will be able to see -you- looking around with their peripheral vision.

[–]JarateIsAPissJar 57 points58 points ago

Which is funny, because since Stephen Colbert is a Catholic and he will most likely be going to Church.

[–]tunapepper 29 points30 points ago

And even funnier, since he's a Sunday school teacher.

[–]Killroyomega 8 points9 points ago

Even more funny would be Stephen's snide insinuation that everyone involved is a Super Muslim Ultra Terrorist who worships Zeus and his gang of status quo breaking hoodlums.

[–]gtluke 14 points15 points ago

I'll let you know, my uncle is his priest and Colbert sits front row every week.

[–]darkbeanie 38 points39 points ago

Amusing that you've chosen a gif of a guy who almost certainly will be.

[–]drainos 22 points23 points ago

You are such a badass, did you get on your big wheel and pedal away afterwards?

[–]nicknameminaj 30 points31 points ago

I know this isn't too popular but I'm proudly going to church with my mom. It makes her so damn happy and I don't mind.

[–]apola 10 points11 points ago*

As am I. My parents don't know I'm an atheist, and they don't need to. We all love each other and I value being with them and making them happy much more than "standing up" for my lack of belief.

[–]JestDCH 6 points7 points ago

I am also going to church with my mother tomorrow.

[–]zalapa89 1 point2 points ago

I'm going tomorrow too. Not so much to make anyone happy but because I know most of my family will be there so it will be nice to see them.

[–]on_the_redpill 5 points6 points ago*

That's a personal choice. As long as you aren't preaching that all atheists should go to church I can respect your decision.

I personally have qualms with appearing to support something I do not, just because it makes someone happy. I think it brings my "beliefs" into question and shows weakness of character. I have no problem with people playing with their toys as long as they don't force me to play with them too.. This applies to my family as well.

[–]nicknameminaj 0 points1 point ago

I totally understand why someone might not want to go either. Everyone's situation is different and I'm pretty fortunate to have a pretty positive one :)

[–]SarahFluttershy 14 points15 points ago

Meh, if my mom wanted me to go to church for a day, I'd do it. She knows I'm not religious, but I can handle an hour of sitting and occasional singing to make my relatives happy. I still go on Christmas.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

I go on Christmas solely because of the ambience/music/singing. Christmas midnight masses are absolutely beautiful.

[–]enjoyfreedom 3 points4 points ago

a friend from denmark told me that even some priests there are athiests, but are motivated to continue traditions.

[–]SarahFluttershy 1 point2 points ago

That's another plus! I was in choir in high school, and every year we had a concert at a church. I didn't care that the songs were religious, or that there we prayers between them, it was still awesome, and the music was beautiful.

[–]shakha 7 points8 points ago

S-s-stranglers....with....Can-....Oh, I guess we'll never know!

[–]RWS1030 12 points13 points ago

So Hardcore!

On the plus side...you do get a choice.

[–]johnterrancecloth 2 points3 points ago

SOURCE?!

[–]gnihtemoS 8 points9 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]writealetter 0 points1 point ago

Like a pansy ass bitch.

Pansies aren't always bad

[–]Corrinth 11 points12 points ago

Unfortunately I'm getting dragged to church tomorrow by my fundie dad. Which is annoying because Sunday was the only day I didn't have to work this week.

But I'll make the most of it. I'm going to bring my Nook in (I told my dad I have the bible loaded up on it) and read some Song of Ice and Fire. And maybe some Dawkins out of spite.

[–]DarvelMk 8 points9 points ago

Every time I reed a book and have music in the background I keep associating the book with the music (and the other way around). For me A Song of Ice and Fire will forever be paired with Iron Maiden's whole discography...

I don't think I would like to combine it with religious hymns...

[–]Hyper1on 1 point2 points ago

How can you concentrate on the book if there's music in the background? O.o

[–]DarvelMk 0 points1 point ago*

It helps me with the immersion. Also, I remember the stories longer and get reminded of them by songs I enjoy.

[–]RideTheThunder 1 point2 points ago

Upvote for Iron Maiden!

[–]Toat19 7 points8 points ago

My girlfriend and her mother are dragging me(atheist) and her father(agnostic) along tomorrow. The two of us have decided on a hopefully epic game of Words with Friends to pass the time.

[–]Circlejerk_Leak 1 point2 points ago

Your father is Hitler.

[–]philge 3 points4 points ago

literally Hitler. FTFY

[–]staticsunn 1 point2 points ago

Sunday is ... video games day! :( Getting dragged in too.

[–]Taterpugg 1 point2 points ago

Hell naw ma!

[–]edcellwarrior 1 point2 points ago

At least at the church I go to, they have candy afterwards on Easter.

[–]erin_louise 1 point2 points ago

Haha, exactly.

[–]PSICOM 1 point2 points ago

At least you have a choice in the matter.

[–]Ben_Ben 1 point2 points ago

an upvote for the SWC reference!

[–]drjalexanderphysics 0 points1 point ago

I had the same idea!

[–]Mark1006 1 point2 points ago

TWO HANDS DAMN IT, THE OPTICIAN ALWAYS WARNS YOU TO USE TWO HANDS.

[–]Spiel88 1 point2 points ago

It's ironic because Colbert is a practicing Catholic.

[–]throughcow 1 point2 points ago

Fuck yea I'm going to church. Do you know how much free candy I'm going to get?

[–]TruthyPam 1 point2 points ago

If you go to church only tomorrow, for the sake of Easter, you're admitting you feel you should attend church, but you will only tolerate the experience on a special day. On the other hand, if your mom will cry if you don't, then...everyone will be thinking what I said in the first sentence. Best response is to roll your eyes when the preacher looks your way. That way only you and he know, and that's probably enough

[–]sjsuismylife 1 point2 points ago

A simple "no" would have given the same answer, and it would have been less dramatic.

[–]JudgeMarilynMilian 1 point2 points ago

My mom: (something about easter)

Me: Wasn't that last month?

[–]slayzerph 1 point2 points ago

I wish I could do that. I'm the only Atheist in the family and they don't know it yet.

[–]Coridimus 0 points1 point ago

Sounds like this is as good a time as any for them to know. No joking, either.

[–]solidsnake2730 1 point2 points ago

How i miss "Strangers with Candy".

[–]pumpkinjello 1 point2 points ago

Was she asking you to go with her or was she just asking in general? I'm atheist but I still go with the rest of my family to church on holidays because it's important to them and I like them knowing that I'm accepting of what they believe. The church they go to also has a really good choir and organ player, so there are things I can enjoy. I also find it interesting to filter out the message of what the pastor is saying between all the religious bull crap it's attached to, and wondering why people aren't happy enough with the morals they are being taught and have to believe the silly stuff that goes along with it.

If your mom was asking you to go with her then I would recommend you re-consider going with her. If she wasn't asking you to go with her forget I said anything. Of course the reality is that you don't even have a mom (fuck you I know what I said) and you posted this for free karma.

I'm Drunk
Sincerely, Pumpkinjello

[–]SaintsAngels 1 point2 points ago

i don't understand. i'm Christian, but i'll be damned if someone is going to make me go to Church or strongly encourage/suggest i should go, fuck that shit. Religion is about choice, not telling people to go or burn in hell -,-,-,--

[–]philge 6 points7 points ago

Is an hour in church really that bad? What's so hard about humoring the old people, and keeping them happy?! They did raise you and put a roof over your head for years. If going to church makes your family happy, then just do it! It's an important holiday for them and it means a lot to them for you to go.

[–]mowgles 6 points7 points ago

This is why my fiance and I always go to Easter, Christmas and Mother's Day services with his mom. We're both agnostic and don't care for church, but we know it makes her happy.

[–]jlxn 2 points3 points ago

Yup, there's no reason to treat your parents or your inlaws poorly because you disagree with their religion.

[–]on_the_redpill 2 points3 points ago

"Atheist should shut the fuck up and mindlessly play along"

If you're not a closeted atheist, how disingenuous is it for people to be glad they dragged you to church. That's like a white man being happy for dragging a black man to a kkk party.

[–]blackoutbuck 1 point2 points ago*

That is in no way a similar situation... My family knows I'm not religious but I don't go around associating myself as an atheist just because of people like you giving it a bad rep. My mother brought me into this world, works hard to support me, and puts me through college. I'll be damned if I make that woman cry on easter just because I don't agree with the idea of religion. Get off your high horse

[–]on_the_redpill -1 points0 points ago

One day you might understand atheism, but it's clear you don't at the moment...

Ad hominems don't interest me, try to come up with a rational reason I should go to church instead of just saying, "no that's not how it is, it's about making people happy."

[–]jlxn 0 points1 point ago

I don't think it is disingenuous to share time with people you care about.

It's closer to going to a movie you don't want to see because you know it will make someone else happy.

Your analogy, and ideas about this in general, are pretty fucked. I mean, "Atheist should shut the fuck up and mindlessly play along." Really?

[–]on_the_redpill 0 points1 point ago

Your analogy comparing religion to movies is a pretty disingenuous false analogy.

[–]jlxn 0 points1 point ago

Why? Because you say so? Fuck.

[–]on_the_redpill 0 points1 point ago

Can't tell if you're seriously asking why?

It's pretty simple... by going to a movie, I'm not supporting a religion, by going to church, I am... and all the other negative crap that comes from it.

You may think going to church is harmless like a movie, but I do not. Cultish behavior is dangerous on many levels.

[–]jlxn 0 points1 point ago

You don't have to through money in the collection plate and in spite of some of the dumb shit churches do, they do a fair amount of good too. Going to a service, at your mom's harmless church is no worse then bad theater.

[–]on_the_redpill 0 points1 point ago

...because money is the only thing that supports religion. ಠ_ಠ

Your logic is completely flawed.

[–]philge 0 points1 point ago

Exactly! I always go to church with the grandparents. It makes them happy, and that's all I care about. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do to please your family. Church really isn't that bad. Just keep them happy in their old age. I'm not going to intentionally upset them.

[–]clarisse451 0 points1 point ago

We go on Christmas Eve and Easter. My mom really enjoys having all her children around her, and one hour twice a year won't kill me.

I do have to be careful that I don't accidentally pick a fight with the pastor in the middle of the sermon, but otherwise... it's for my mom and I love her. It's not about me. My mom is pretty awesome.

[–]TheMagicPin 0 points1 point ago

My family is orthodox christian.

Mass all of the night!

[–]MongoloidEsquire 0 points1 point ago

How else would he get le karma though???!

[–]CompoundMix 0 points1 point ago

What's wrong with it? They're ruining our country and culture, that's what.

[–]philge 0 points1 point ago

They are a PART of many countries and many cultures. Don't tell me that my little old church going grandma is ruining your culture by going to church on Sunday and hitting up church Bingo Night. Not everyone is a fundamentalist.

[–]CompoundMix 0 points1 point ago

Has this grandma ever taught her religion to children?

[–]philge 0 points1 point ago

Yup. I used to enjoy Sundays in church with her learning bible stories. You don't have to be a believer to find it intriguing. It's an important part of my culture.

[–]actinium -1 points0 points ago

Its Easter, Catholic mass is at least an hour and a half going anywhere to 4hrs maybe more. It is not fun just sitting there.

[–]2goodforyou 0 points1 point ago

Nice try random pastor.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]philge 3 points4 points ago

It's not about religious freedom. Your parents put a fucking roof over year head for 18 years. If going to church is going to make them happy, why not give them that?

[–]IronTek 1 point2 points ago

It's my parents' fault I'm here. I figure I'll not go to church and we'll call it even.

[–]on_the_redpill 2 points3 points ago

Do you get the feeling a bunch of Christian trolls are in this thread? What self respecting atheist preaches the bullshit that Philge is? And how does he get upvoted.

...I'm going to start telling homosexuals to stop being gay and support homophobia a couple times a year...

[–]philge -3 points-2 points ago

Look, I don't have to be a Christian to think that you're an asshole. The fact that you assume I'm some kind of a "Christian troll" just shows me that you like being "persecuted" by Christians. Don't gain a freakin' martyr complex, kid.

[–]on_the_redpill 2 points3 points ago

You are so fucking backwards, especially if you aren't Christian.

Apologists preaching passivity... I see it around every holiday in here and you guys never make an intelligent argument

[–]philge 0 points1 point ago

How am I backwords? It's nice to go to church with your family sometime. I'm not making an argument. Simply pointing out that if it makes them happy, then why not? A little church service isn't going to hurt you. You don't have to have some kind of a weird phobia of religious people. . .

[–]on_the_redpill 2 points3 points ago*

It's backwards because you are preaching apathy and passivity while being an apologist. I'm not a militant atheist by any stretch of the imagination, but it is wrong to tell people to just do what makes other's happy if it directly contradicts your own beliefs (or lack thereof). I'm convinced America would be a better place without Christianity being forced down our throats. You're telling me to swallow the wrong pill a couple times a year... just because. Perhaps family should just let you be, and stop the attempts at indoctrination long after someone has come to rational conclusions as to the nature of religion. To each their own... let homosexuals be, let women be, let muslims be, let blacks be, let an atheist be.

Don't tell me what I should be doing.

[–]philge -3 points-2 points ago

but it is wrong to tell people to just do what makes other's happy if it directly contradicts your own beliefs.

If you don't believe in God, how does going to church contradict your nonbeliefs? All I'm saying is that if it makes them happy, then why the hell not?

Going to bingo night with grandma isn't exactly my idea of a fun night either, but it makes her happy so why the fuck not?

Perhaps family should just let you be, and stop the attempts at indoctrination long after someone has come to rational conclusions as to the nature of religion.

Afraid you're going to get "indoctrinated" from a few church services? The fact that you know religion is bullshit should be all the more reason to be indifferent about sitting through a mass once in a while.

[–]fcman -2 points-1 points ago*

+1 Says a lot about a person who is too weak to even spend a couple hours to make their loved ones happy, like they're scared an hour in church is gonna turn them religious.. I am going because I know how much it means to my parents and even though they go every Sunday, they only try to get me to go on the big holidays. Of course, OP probably is 17 and still lives at home so he hasn't had to go months/years without seeing his family (I mean this sentence in a serious manner, not trying to cheaply mock OP).

[–]thoreau_me_a_bone 1 point2 points ago

No sir. I am not going to appear to support something I clearly do not, even if it means missing out on seeing my family and friends whom I haven't seen in months. I disagree with you that it makes me weak, as I believe it is just the opposite. I have had a rough go of it the last few days missing out on the tradition and family time and all the great food. I know what I believe to be true, and I am trying to be the change I wish to see in the world, and mindlessly joining in the Easter service would compromise the integrity of my beliefs.

[–]fcman 1 point2 points ago

The only thing that can compromise your beliefs is you. If your ability to reason is sound and consistent, there's no way a simple Easter service could turn you. It seems like your beliefs aren't as resolute as you claim they are, and I think you realize that subconsciously. There's nothing wrong with that but realize that diving into a religious atmosphere will most likely IMPROVE the integrity of your beliefs. That's what open-mindedness/free-thinking is all about. It's easy to separate yourself completely from an opposing idea but if you don't constantly challenge your beliefs how can you claim that you "truly believe" something? Stubbornness is not the same as integrity.

I hope you take this not as an attack, but rather as honest, blunt advice.

Also, don't miss out on spending time with your family for something so petty as a difference in beliefs. I'm sure they support you in just about everything you do even if they don't fully agree with it, so return the favor. The time you will be able to spend with them will be gone in the blink of an eye.

[–]philge 0 points1 point ago

It's funny that you mention this. Doesn't it seem like a lot of atheists are afraid of church? The fact that you don't believe should be all the more reason to just sit through a service once in a while with your family. It's not even like they have a conflicting religious belief that they would be contradicting.

[–]Hyper1on 0 points1 point ago

Just to chip in here, I refuse to go to church with my family on Christmas and Easter, but not because I'm afraid of church changing my atheism in any way. I do it because I want to stand up for my principles, and my family aren't as important to me as my principles are.

[–]philge -4 points-3 points ago

Seriously. . . Easter is THE most important holiday in the Christian calendar. It's not all about religion, it's about being with your family. It's about tradition. It's about culture. Everyone needs to grow the fuck up . . . Just sit through a damn service with your family, even if you just do it twice a year!

[–]on_the_redpill 0 points1 point ago*

Fuck off. Do you even know the history of "Easter"?

[–]philge 0 points1 point ago

What an insightful response!

edit: Thanks for editing your post after I've already responded. Yes, I am quite familiar with the history of Easter and it's pagan roots. It is still the most important holiday to Christians.

[–]on_the_redpill -2 points-1 points ago*

The irony hurts

edit: I added the last sentence before I got your response.

[–]philge -2 points-1 points ago

I have a tag in RES set aside for people like you. "13yearoldatheist" I must have at least a dozen of you tagged by now. Just gotta make sure I know not to take you seriously in the future.

Just because you're an atheist doesn't mean you have to be an asshole. Try it sometime. :)

[–]Leroytankin 2 points3 points ago

Bravery.

[–]RandomIrishLad 0 points1 point ago

I got guilted into going, as always.

[–]meatwad75892 0 points1 point ago

It could be worse... you could be going to a 3 hour Holy Saturday mass.

[–]rollin904 0 points1 point ago

Said I already had plans (true story, but expected argument)...VERY NICE I EXCITE!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I would have said the same thing to my mom. But she said, "I would really like you to go with us tomorrow." I couldn't refuse. I knew she would be pissed at me and also disappointed if I didn't go. I've refused twice already. Also, is this pic from a movie? It would be awsome if someone could let me know what movie this is from. I've never watched a movie with Stephen Colbert in it.

[–]fenderbender 0 points1 point ago

ummmm....

[–]Caoblix 0 points1 point ago

I tried this today. Needless to say, I've been excommunicated.

[–]DewdSoup 0 points1 point ago

Is there anyone funnier than Stephen Colbert?

[–]columbine 0 points1 point ago

This pretty much sums up the r/atheism demographic.

[–]hay_guize_im_atheist 0 points1 point ago

omg I would have loved to see the look on ur mom's face!!!!! omggggg

[–]TheLoneWander101 0 points1 point ago

Since my mom loves God and I love my mom I go the mandatory two times a year and wait till the hour is over.

[–]Vaulker 0 points1 point ago

He's such a handsome fellow.

[–]OnyxBlackmanSays 0 points1 point ago

What's the matter, Noblet? I'm taking Mama to church.

[–]gunpowdersunset 0 points1 point ago

Oh my gosh Strangers With Candy.

[–]ktm160 0 points1 point ago

Ironic isn't it?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Upvoted because Strangers With Candy is wonderful

[–]luketaytay 0 points1 point ago

Happened not 5 minuets ago.

"But its easter"

"K"

[–]Moonwolf12 0 points1 point ago

Only time I'm happy working on a Sunday.

[–]petsounds94 0 points1 point ago

[–]introllect 0 points1 point ago

Ironic since Colbert IS going to church tomorrow!

[–]MarinePrincePrime 0 points1 point ago

Lucky you. I'm stuck going to Church every x-mas and easter...

[–]Draygon_Slayer 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, I kind of bullshitted my way out of going to church with my parents tomorrow.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Why would you go to church tomorrow?

[–]logifal -1 points0 points ago

SO BRAVE

[–]skinker -2 points-1 points ago

You are such a badass...being a prick to your mom about going to church with her on Easter.

[–]TheCrool -1 points0 points ago

I've been trying to get my family to go to church for years. It's not that they're atheists, they're just lazy. Mom can never commit to anything and Dad is merely indifferent, and my siblings follow suit. I would respect them if they were atheist and actually thought about the purpose of their lives or something... but I guess some people prefer droning on among the masses.

[–]Sinopsis -1 points0 points ago

Oh no you may have to leave the house and show some support towards your family?!

I'm not Christian but my family is going to church for Easter, I'm going because I wish to spend time with my family, because part of being a man is sometimes doing things you don't want to do.

Get over yourself.

[–]kent_eh 1 point2 points ago

My wife regularly ties to get me to go to church, and my answer remains the same.

I do not want to feel like (or be) a hypocrite by being in church repeating/saying/singing for all to see things that I simply believe are not true.

[–]jakeypoop -1 points0 points ago

Go to church because you love your mother and you know it means a lot to her. Just because you don't believe in it doesn't mean you can't make your mother happy.

[–]Ohnoeee 1 point2 points ago

People need to respect the "no" part in "no".

[–]ballzach -1 points0 points ago

suck it up and go to church with your mother.

[–]idma -4 points-3 points ago

ooooo brave. you are expressing your inner thoughts and your dreams. Bravo