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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]mattarang 1018 points1019 points ago

I have shaken the man's hand, it was incredibly silky smooth yet firm. 10/10

[–]Seenbo 697 points698 points ago

would shake again.

[–]Waffles81 450 points451 points ago

Would let cup balls.

[–]mooks_gripes 72 points73 points ago

Gabe has cupped my balls, AMAA.

[–]Batcaptain 32 points33 points ago

Are his fingernails appropriate length for ball cupping?

[–]mooks_gripes 27 points28 points ago

The length is fine, I didn't feel threatened or concerned for my scrotum. The dirt under the nails though... ಠ_ಠ

[–]Batcaptain 24 points25 points ago

Ah okay. What about warmth? Cold hands can ruin my day.

[–]mooks_gripes 41 points42 points ago

Funny you asked! He did the strangest thing; after cupping my balls through the fabric, he asked if he could go inside... Naturally, I said yes. At this time, he went to a sink nearby and ran his hands under hot water for at least 30 seconds. When he finally cupped my exposed sack, his hands, at least 3 degrees above normal body temperature, provided the most exquisite feeling my body has ever experienced.

[–]Batcaptain 19 points20 points ago

Truly an innovator in every sense of the word.

[–]partycentralsupplies 33 points34 points ago

You might even say that Steam helped out in this ball cupping situation.

[–]farmerjoe08 1 point2 points ago

They are not so much cold but semi clammy.

[–]UnparalleledGenius 17 points18 points ago

Are his hands soft?

[–]mooks_gripes 35 points36 points ago

Soft, but strong.

*Heading to the fridge, be back in like 15 seconds. Ask away!

[–]PseudoChemist 6 points7 points ago

Gabe?

[–]LifeFailure 1 point2 points ago

THAT'S THE GABEN, TO YOU.

[–]tehcezar 11 points12 points ago

Forget that, ask him about Rampart!

[–]troyanonymous1 1 point2 points ago

What's your favorite sports team?

[–]mooks_gripes 2 points3 points ago

I said almost anything. Getting into sports would be a little too personal. Sorry!

[–]glitterFreeze 184 points185 points ago

And then let slowly stroke.

[–]donpapillon 281 points282 points ago

[–]bearsa113609 223 points224 points ago

The link above is a appropriate response, as well as Safe For Work.
10/10, would view again.

[–]CocoaFang 175 points176 points ago

This is a legitimate and honest review.

10/10, would trust again.

[–]JRX 120 points121 points ago

This is a very good rating. 10/10 would reply again.

[–]BeatlesForSale 239 points240 points ago

This is a solid karma train

10/10 would ride again.

[–]what_thedouche 74 points75 points ago

Having calculated the advanced mathematics associated with testing such a hypothesis I have concluded that 10/10, would rate again.

[–]swiley1983 25 points26 points ago

10/10, would fap again.

FTFY

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

I swear I read slowly strike. I cringed.

[–]Username_Rater 9 points10 points ago

10/10

[–]LickMyLadyBalls 47 points48 points ago

would let lickmyladyballs

[–]Tnuff 5 points6 points ago

WOULD BANG

[–]Jepuliz1 387 points388 points ago

Did... did they photoshop him to look even more fat?

[–]KenMixtape 115 points116 points ago

looks like they shrunk his facial features

[–]htororyp 266 points267 points ago

Here's the original: http://media.industrygamers.com/editorial/2011/04/Gabe_01.jpg
I think they added in an extra chin or three.

[–]Fleemer 82 points83 points ago

When i saw the pic I was like "Holy crap, he really let himself go"

This clears that up :P

[–]drury 228 points229 points ago

Well, currently he looks awesomer.

http://i.imgur.com/EqDmV.jpg

[–]Domesticdstrbnc 217 points218 points ago

12/10

2 bonus points for grizzled beard

[–]iloveyounohomo 123 points124 points ago

Men want him. Women want to be him.

[–]amorpheus 29 points30 points ago

Scale of manliness:

  • Women
  • Men
  • Gabe

[–]hudsonzero 26 points27 points ago

Not sure if ascending or descending order.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Are you insulting Gabe?!

[–]TheBloodTypo 92 points93 points ago

Would grizzle again.

[–]SpitefulMoose 13 points14 points ago

He is one of a very select group of men that can rock the disheveled look.

[–]ByTheNineDivine 1 point2 points ago

Burt Reynolds? No.

Ron. Fucking. SWANSON.

[–]LChurch 1 point2 points ago

Kinda like Geoff Ramsey, in my opinion. Dude looks like a hobo most days.

[–]SamuraiSevens 63 points64 points ago

[–]kilo4fun 1 point2 points ago

The descendent of Theodore Roosevelt.

[–]bryntheskits 33 points34 points ago

He needs an axe.

[–]opi 9 points10 points ago

I bet he can cut you with his beard!

[–]fartsmcgee 4 points5 points ago

I'm sure he has one in his massive cutlery collection.

[–]KousKous 11 points12 points ago

I want him to be my grandpa.

[–]Unidan 15 points16 points ago

My visceral reaction to this was to grin coyly while shaking my head in disbelief.

You little scamp, you.

[–]aldrchase 1 point2 points ago

You're a biologist.

[–]Unidan 1 point2 points ago

It's true!

[–]Aende 5 points6 points ago

He's trying to seduce me with those supple, pouty lips.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

Is that a shop, or is that actually him? The beard really suits him, along with the wild hair.

[–]nomlah 3 points4 points ago

Man beardle for the win!

[–]comstock2491 1 point2 points ago

"I've traveled 500 miles to give you my seed!"

[–]successfulblackwoman 1 point2 points ago

I don't even play that many games on steam, but I unironically find this picture pretty attractive. With a flannel shirt he'd look like a classic mountain man.

[–]trythemain 7 points8 points ago

Fortunately he's still the chiseled alpha male we know and love.

[–]Mangusu 4 points5 points ago

I hadn't realized how much he resembled Peter Griffin. I knew my eyes were being decieved

[–]xyroclast 8 points9 points ago

So extra lols because they apparently made one of his glasses smaller and called it custom

[–]purenitrogen 8 points9 points ago

Or does 4chan have the original and your picture was photoshopped by the publisher?

[–]Frak98 1 point2 points ago

What about an extra year or three? ._.

[–]scumbag-reddit 2 points3 points ago

I don't know. But what I do know is that 4chan made it to the front page of Reddit. Again.

[–]tmc_throwaway 1 point2 points ago

If you open OPs image with the original in separate tabs and then click between them, it looks like Gabe breathes like a toad or frog.

[–]Nomlin 390 points391 points ago*

i love how they made him fatter in the picture

[–]FFUUUUU 276 points277 points ago

A fat joke a day, keeps Half Life 3 away.

[–]charming_asshole 121 points122 points ago

There's probably a warehouse filled with physical copies of HL3 and Gabe is just sitting on them...

...until they turn to powder.

[–]Rohri_Calhoun 165 points166 points ago

Don't you mean until they are crushed into diamonds?

[–]Anchupom 68 points69 points ago

For that remark, he has moved the release date back another month.

However, it was hilarious

[–]Gentleman_of_Wit 7 points8 points ago

[–]Spaghettihouse 37 points38 points ago

What is the half-life of a copy of Half-Life 3?

[–]tehcezar 30 points31 points ago

bout tree fiddy

[–]ihaveacalculator 22 points23 points ago

3

[–]swiley1983 30 points31 points ago

3

1.5

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago*

1.5

0.75

[–]McBurger 2 points3 points ago

3

[–]Heyyosup 2 points3 points ago

Yes

[–]Actually_Doesnt_Care 369 points370 points ago

Add 2 months to half life 3, guys.

[–]Cheswick32 46 points47 points ago

Dude, hours don't exist after the universe ends.

[–]blixxx 15 points16 points ago

they do. but in reverse

[–]nxuul 94 points95 points ago

[–]letsRACEturtles 26 points27 points ago

the little headset really completes this picture for me, it shows that whoever made this really cares

[–]PenguinOfMetal 7 points8 points ago

By now, HL3 is going to be released during the Cambrian. We should keep on making the fat jokes.

[–]MeteorPhoenix 2 points3 points ago

We overshot it. We have to make enough fat jokes to reach the beginning, so that it reverses again. Don't fuck it up this time, guys.

[–]Boomer420 189 points190 points ago

Like you care.

[–]Khiva 95 points96 points ago

LOL THAT'S HIS USERNAME

[–]Brandaman 9 points10 points ago

I was going to say, I didn't remember him being that large.

Unless it's an old picture and he's lost weight or something.

[–]Mayor_Of_Boston 9 points10 points ago

he has lost a lot of weight.

[–]Koss424 8 points9 points ago

well, he had a lot to lose

[–]That_is_Numberwang 1 point2 points ago

Yes! 2 more months to wait!!

[–]AmateurDude 60 points61 points ago

The relationship is going through a spot of bother right now, with the whole, brony bombshell.

[–]hostergaard 22 points23 points ago

What? This is new to me, tell me more!

[–]lolzergimba 29 points30 points ago

[–]hostergaard 1 point2 points ago

Hehe, /v/ is still in uproar. I wish I was there when the news broke, the butthurt must have been glorious.

[–]SpaceHaven 64 points65 points ago*

If you look up My Little Pony and Gaben in the r/gaming search bar you'll find it easily.

GabeN was being interviewed and about 15 minutes in he was asked if he had any secrets, and he stated that he watches My Little Pony.

Apparently /v/ was in a fit because of this and can't get over the fact that someone they worship likes something they don't.

Maybe I'm being too harsh on /v/, this is just stuff I heard from others. I guess it got so bad that mods started to delete threads that had anything to do with it.

All I really know is that people got kind of crazy over something so insignificant. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

EDIT: My derpy grammar.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points ago

bronies = scourge of the web despised by 4chan

gabe likes bronies gabe likes scourge of the web

ROCKET SCIENCE

[–]Swamplord42 27 points28 points ago

I thought bronies originated on 4chan. There's always pony threads on /b/

[–]shamecamel 34 points35 points ago

Yeah, 4chan created the whole brony thing. That's why they hate it, it's gone mainstream.

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points ago

/b/ =/= 4chan

/v/ hates MLP, and is extremely adamant in its hatred of it. Most other boards couldn't give a damn about it. There's even a separate /mlp/ board.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

The brony thing started out on /co/, then spread out to /b/. Then bronies started spamming the board(s) with ponies, ponies got banned, leading to the Great Ponywar of 2011. After that ponies were allowed in one general thread on /b/ and /co/. Funny sidenote: both brony communities are very different and hate each other with a passion. Now that they have to share one board (/mlp), they still mostly stick to their respective threads there.

[–]Obi_Kwiet 11 points12 points ago

Why do they have a strong consensus on something that has nothing to do with gaming?

[–]IonicSquid 43 points44 points ago

Because the internet.

[–]GreyInkling 1 point2 points ago

/v/ is traditionally nothing about games. They're like the new /b/. It's so ridiculous that there's a whole new board that exists for actual gaming talk because /v/ hates games. They hate everything.

[–]Physics101 1 point2 points ago

Because bronies kept making brony threads in /v/ (and elsewhere) to dicuss mlp. That is until the /mlp/ board was made.

[–]shamecamel 2 points3 points ago

I would've said /co/, but you'd have corrected me so I didn't bother.

[–]Damascius 20 points21 points ago

4chan hates when their jokes go mainstream. It's why they hate reddit.

[–]Obi_Kwiet 8 points9 points ago

The only upside to reddit's karma whoring meme spam is that is pisses off 4chan.

[–]Damascius 7 points8 points ago

That's a downside too.

EA pissed off 4chan and look at what happened.

[–]Hammer38 27 points28 points ago

"Well-coordinated and extensively financed EA propaganda team beaten by a rag-tag group of /v/irgins run by a furry tripfag and a BR with 140 ping" Cue victory music

[–]PatAunces 1 point2 points ago

What happened? EA continues to make millions every year? How terrible!

[–]SirCowMan 27 points28 points ago

/b/ ≠ /v/

[–]LinuxFP 26 points27 points ago

/v/ is pretty much /b/ 2.0 ever since moot separated /v/ and /vg/

[–]Pollo_Bueno 34 points35 points ago

I have no idea what any of this means

[–]LoneWanderer43 9 points10 points ago

  • /v/ Is the videogames board

  • /b/ Is a "random" board most of the content there is awful pornography and stupid threads.

  • m00t is the creator and administrator of 4chan he created /vg/ which means videogame general. These are threads in which people discuss only one game as opposed to news or videogames in general.

[–]dakru 1 point2 points ago

Different boards on 4chan. Instead of having a full name they'll have, for example, /fit/ for fitness.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

/v/ has always been /b/ 2.0. Always.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

there used to be pony threads on /b/ since they didn't have their own board until /mlp/ was created. Even though they had threads that doesn't mean they liked them, it was a constant warzone of flaming and hate (lol little kid show, STOP LIKING WHAT I DONT LIKE, GO BE MEAN SOMEWHERE ELSE etc etc).

The board that "despises" bronies is /v/-video games. They hate bronies for many reasons, and once they found out gabe liked ponies they hate him. But they'll probably forget about it in a week

[–]LChurch 1 point2 points ago

My Little Pony seemed pretty ridiculous to me until I found out they did a scene at a bowling alley with 'The Big Lebowski' ponies in the background. I still don't watch it, but it's okay in my books now.

[–]GreyInkling 1 point2 points ago

Maybe I'm being to harsh on /v/

Ha. No. They're all insane and hate everything, even the things they like they'll hate on. They're just throwing a fit like the group of 13 years olds they are. You can't be harsh on this group, seriously they deserve whatever you have to say.

[–]mang87 139 points140 points ago

Actually 4chan hates him now because he's a brony.

[–]Obi_Kwiet 57 points58 points ago

I thought the whole brony thing was from 4chan anyway.

[–]Bigern_ 121 points122 points ago

4chan cycle

4chan makes meme > hilarious OC > repost > copypasta > cancer > other sites pick it up > hated

[–]Rhendal 72 points73 points ago

So they're a bunch of hipsters...?

[–]Hammer38 146 points147 points ago

No hipsters are too mainstream, they hate them. Also, hating hipsters is too mainstream. They just hate themselves mostly.

[–]Mr_Ected 29 points30 points ago

So they're emo?

[–]himthatspeaks 54 points55 points ago

No emo is too mainstream, they hate them. Also, hating emos is too mainstream. They just hate themselves mostly.

[–]Iggyhopper 57 points58 points ago

So the only logical conclusion is potato.

[–]Unfa 27 points28 points ago

No, potato is too mainstream, they hate them. Also, eating fries is too mainstream. They just hate themselves mostly.

[–]Kilkun 1 point2 points ago

So they are the old ones, hm? RHLEYA FHTAGN CTHULHU!

[–]PeteRoss 8 points9 points ago

emo hasn't been a real thing since 2006.

[–]larkable 15 points16 points ago

Yes.

[–]stardustcrazy 9 points10 points ago

But with more penises.

[–]DFP_ 1 point2 points ago

It's hated at the cancer phase, it only becomes more apparent on other sites because they usually get the meaning behind it wrong or because it's just an example of the cancer spreading even further throughout the internet. It's not about what's mainstream, it's about getting the joke and not running it into the ground.

[–]Syn7axError 25 points26 points ago

It was, but they were hated even then. 4chan isn't as hiveminded as they lead people to think it is.

[–]AfroKona 31 points32 points ago

The whole "NARWALZ BACONZ MIDNITE XD XD XD" thing is from reddit, yet lots of redditors hate it.

Same concept.

[–]Unfa 21 points22 points ago

Because that's fucking retarded. We had a meetup in /r/montreal last year and this guy with a reddit t-shirt introduced himself as "hello I am X, at what time do narwhals bacon at?".

I never wanted to punch a stranger more in my entire life.

[–]Shocking 6 points7 points ago

You should've just pointed and said, "Get Out."

[–]jargoon 1 point2 points ago

It's like when I used to post on SA and when you'd meet a goon they'd always be like "Do you have stairs in your house???????"

[–]Anon49 1 point2 points ago

implying 4chan is only /v/

That's like saying Reddit love Rage comics. Rage comics Ruin Reddit. Take that 2009 shit to 9gag.

[–]chesterdjester 67 points68 points ago

nah, that's an EA conspiracy to diffuse the focus that is the evil of the vidya.

[–]Khiva 4 points5 points ago

Is anything not an EA conspiracy to silence us true gamers?

[–]rowd149 6 points7 points ago

Thanks, I was about to say this. It was kind of ridiculous when the "story" broke; suddenly /v/ was the "Vilify Gabe" board.

[–]mang87 3 points4 points ago

Yep. I take a break from /v/ for a few days any time something like this happens, because the unfiltered hatred can just get to be a bit overwhelming at times.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

It's a bit up in the air. He twittered that he watches My Little Pony because his kids like it.

[–]BazookaTuna 6 points7 points ago

But does anyone take anything 4chan says seriously anymore? Or ever, for that matter?

[–]mattthegreat 23 points24 points ago

"Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."

It's posted on their damn site and is a good rule of thumb for just about everything you can find on the internet. It applies very aptly to reddit as well.

[–]latticusnon 10 points11 points ago

Only idiots. Same goes for reddit.

[–]mang87 1 point2 points ago

Well I think other 4chan users do. Which, unfortunately, is a lot of people.

[–]ProduceZero 21 points22 points ago

Did anyone think his left eye pupil was an incorrectly used period?

[–]Interwhat 4 points5 points ago

I re-read a few times to make sense of it before I realised..

[–]IAMAHIPO_ocolor 1 point2 points ago

I think that'd be his right eye.

[–]NoveltyCritique 4 points5 points ago

NOT IF THE IMAGE WAS MIRRORED!

[–]drfeelgood246 1 point2 points ago

I saw this earlier today and had no idea what the hell you were talking about. But seeing it again now, I seriously confused it for a period.

[–]AngryBrownGuy 102 points103 points ago

This picture is old as fuck. Get with the times reddit, they hate Gabe now.

[–]xFaded 26 points27 points ago

Why do they hate gabe now? (i barely know the guy, just curious)

[–]hypoid77 14 points15 points ago

[–]Chris1218218 52 points53 points ago

Brony.

[–]xFaded 64 points65 points ago

This explained nothing.

[–]mahaugher 63 points64 points ago

He is a-

(hopefully that clears it up a bit)

[–]probably2high 1 point2 points ago

It apparently makes sense if you only live on the internet.

[–]Ozera 7 points8 points ago

We will love and tolerate.

[–]OmicronNine 15 points16 points ago

But that only makes him awesome.

[–]blueberryjamoutlaw 34 points35 points ago

does this mean TF2 will feature one of rarity's giant hats?

[–]Cheeriope 1 point2 points ago*

I would kill for one like Sweetie Belle was wearing last week, with the peacock feathers? I can't find a picture but I'm sure you know which one I mean. It would be HILARIOUS, though impractical.

[–]OmicronNine 7 points8 points ago

[–]Malificus 19 points20 points ago

Hey man, it's uncool to make a blank post.

[–]AngryBrownGuy 3 points4 points ago

its kinda of a joke. There is a video of Gabe saying he watches MLP and it made everyone mad.

[–]TheMannam 16 points17 points ago

Well, you're not wrong.

[–]tratatatatata 20 points21 points ago

Wow that mean something.. grats Gabe. Last 4chan "would bang" photo was mass murderer!

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

It's old, now they hate him because he is a brony.

[–]overtmind 3 points4 points ago*

WHAT THE FUCK IS A BRONY

EDIT: GOT IT THANKS

[–]DMagnific 15 points16 points ago

WHAT THE FUCK IS A GOOGLE

[–]Malificus 4 points5 points ago

A person who likes the cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

[–]dabombnl 5 points6 points ago

This counteracts all those fat jokes delaying Half-life 3, right? Right?

[–]UltraJake 11 points12 points ago

What the fuck. In Middle School I wore nothing but Polo shirts and everyone thought that was weird. :(

[–]ObidiahWTFJerwalk 11 points12 points ago

To someone who spends all of their time on the internet, and most of that on 4chan, a shirt with a button is practically white tie and tails.

[–]BobbyTrouble 1 point2 points ago

Did you button up all the way to to the top button?

[–]UltraJake 2 points3 points ago

I usually only did the first button.

[–]BobbyTrouble 1 point2 points ago

Did you have alot of chest hair?

[–]oblivision 12 points13 points ago

RPG (Ridicoulusly Photogenic Gabe)

[–]jdcastellano 32 points33 points ago

Please cast him as Peter Griffin.

[–]always_peaking 28 points29 points ago

I'm sure you had good intentions when you were posting this comment, and I apologize to both you and the community for what I'm about to say (because in my opinion Reddit should be a safe place where you are free to post whatever it is you choose without the worry of being berated by a stranger). Also I am fully aware that I am only speaking for myself and everything I am saying is just my opinion.

Fuck this comment, and fuck you for posting it. What does "Please cast him as Peter Griffin" even mean to you? You think he looks like Peter Griffin? You want a live action film/TV series of Family Guy? You think Gabe would be a good actor? You think his time would be better spent spouting one-liners while portraying a character from a television series that I'm assuming you enjoy? Who are you appealing to? Also, fuck Family Guy. That stupid show is so lacking in any sort of value it's astonishing. From an outside perspective it is people gathering around to laugh at a fat mentally-deficient fictional character. Admittedly, using that tone and sentence structure could be used to talk down about just about anything. My real issue with the show is that it doesn't require any thought to watch it. It's just 22 minutes of tasteless filler.

I don't want to make you feel bad about yourself, and I hope you just write me off as some dick on the internet. I am in an admittedly bad mood right now and I'm using the internet to lash out because experience has taught me that I won't actually harm you in any way by posting an ill-intentioned comment directed at you. And I could just have easily picked any of the hundreds of thousands of shitty comments available at my fingertips right now, you just happened to win some sort of cosmic jackpot. Once more, I apologize; and I genuinely hope you have a nice day.

[–]Cuplink 23 points24 points ago*

I agree. He would be better cast as Berry from American Dad.

[–]Leftvote 6 points7 points ago

tl;dr

[–]Overlay 2 points3 points ago

4chan? Are you saying Reddit's obsession with him isn't just as bad if not worse?

[–]emtamka 2 points3 points ago

Peter Griffin?

[–]pxsalmers 2 points3 points ago

4chan has the right idea.

[–]flailthroughs 1 point2 points ago

Ah, part of the EA Distraction Brigade, I see!

[–]Cobruh 1 point2 points ago

His eyes glow with magic and august, awesome, ceremonious, cool, courtly, dignified, elevated, exalted, fab, grand, grandiose, imperial, imposing, lofty, magnific, magnificent, marvelous, mind-blowing, monumental, noble, out of this world, pompous, regal, royal, smashing, sovereign, stately, stunning, sublime, sumptuous, superb wonder.

[–]Sloady 1 point2 points ago

Cancer. So much cancer.

[–]jdb12 1 point2 points ago

My friend just looked over my shoulder and said, "Who's Gabe?" I facepalmed. Hard.

[–]RavenLachrimae 1 point2 points ago

He looks like Peter from family guy to me... :/

[–]jazzberry76 3 points4 points ago

This is what I think of Gabe.

[–]Geno098 2 points3 points ago

How did this get so many upvotes? Hasn't everyone already seen this image from the countless times it's been posted in /r/gaming and /v/?

[–]ajleece 1 point2 points ago

I've never seen it, so I am glad it was posted.

[–]Cynepkokc 3 points4 points ago

What Reddit thinks of Gabe

FTFY