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all 33 comments

[–]ErwinBrodinger 38 points39 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Holy shit, your parents are Santa? Make them do an AMA!

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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I've never seen a cat look so... in thought.

[–]orzof 9 points10 points ago

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With a clear mind, and eyes unclouded, Mr. Boots shed light where there once was none.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Wow. Poetic.

[–]TangentiallyRelated 19 points20 points ago

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When I was a kid, I was a little bit mentally unhinged. Multiple people suspected I might be a budding sociopath. One of the events which convinced people was my Plan To Enslave Santa! (Note: I didn't want to end that sentence with an exclamation point, but the actual plan was titled that, punctuation and all; you've my apologies.)

See, I figured that if I captured Santa, I could enslave him for my own nefarious purposes, which was basically Christmas everyday, but only for me, of course. (I was 6, shut up.) I even got some of my father's chains out of the garage, and had them set up at the picnic table in our back yard, so I'd be able to restrain him once I had him. Then I'd put him to work, making me toys and stuff, every day.

So Christmas Eve, I crept down the hall, stealthy as a ninja trying to jerk off or something. I had the giant MagLite flashlight from my dad's toolbox, so I could burst around the corner and light that fat fuck up. I could hear rustling by the tree, and I took that last deep breath before I changed my world forever and captured the fat bastard.

I threw myself around the corner with an insane scream that no 6 year old should be able to make, and turned on the MagLite, but the battery was dead! Foiled! But then it occurred to me that I was wasting time, and he could be escaping. Sure enough I heard fat footsteps moving away in the dark, so I just went for it, and threw the MagLite with all my strength.

And that is how I broke my father's kneecap, costing him his job, and ruining Christmas and Santa forever for me and my whole family.

[–]Lucket 2 points3 points ago

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lik dis if u cry evertim

[–]liveat60fps -2 points-1 points ago

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5eva ...

[–]MrTrism 6 points7 points ago

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Man. And I thought my cat was funny. I get the laser pointer out and the cat gets all riled up. After a few short moments however, she pauses, looks directly at me with this annoyed look like 'wtf you got me again?' and storms off tithe bedroom for a few hours.

[–]marsneedstowels 3 points4 points ago

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Kinda sucks that the church is charging you for your bedroom.

[–]prettyfagswag 6 points7 points ago

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I've seen this gif posted so many times yet I still up vote every time.

[–]Snailoffun 4 points5 points ago

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i think i just pooped a little

[–]unicorntacosecks 10 points11 points ago

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HAHAHA I'M DYING. EVERYTHING IS TOO RIGHT IN THIS.

[–]mynameismark22 0 points1 point ago

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I know, it works on so many levels.

[–]Acthinian 0 points1 point ago

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Hilarious

[–]skizfrenik_syco 1 point2 points ago

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aww lucky, my parents are the tooth fairy :/ i'd rather have them be santa though..

[–]trua 1 point2 points ago

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You think this is a motherfucking game?

[–]Razeda 1 point2 points ago

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Source?

[–]coldcupofjoe 1 point2 points ago

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I love the shit out of this .gif. Seriously.

[–]Roaven 0 points1 point ago

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Oh god, this brings back bad memories. I had a skeptical friend who shot through all the lies for me(santa, tooth fairy, mascots, etc.) and I took it in stride but when I tried to break it to some friends of mine, they freaked out, started crying, their parents got mad at me, so on

[–]OtpThePerson -2 points-1 points ago

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I learned it myself in 1st grade, and only a select few people would actually listen to me until 6th fucking grade. I assume then their parents finally couldn't stop laughing at them, and told them. I'm serious, I carpool with some friends sometimes, and I had my mom even fucking tell them for years and they wouldn't listen!

[–]Roaven 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know when my friends actually accepted it, I imagine it was soon after I shattered their illusions and made their parents confront it, but it was just an awkward situation all around

[–]calvinbeans 0 points1 point ago

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I wept.

[–]OtpThePerson 0 points1 point ago

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oh god, cant stop laughing

[–]pokemonduck 0 points1 point ago

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YOUR PARENTS ARE SANTA!?!?!?

[–]macdezignr 0 points1 point ago

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i hate cat posts, but this shit is L-O-L

[–]gucci_flocka_flame 0 points1 point ago

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i am legitimently curious as to why that cat did that.

[–]ang21 0 points1 point ago

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It's been 4 months ago, and you still can't accept that?

[–]TinyTeddy93 0 points1 point ago

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cute .^

[–]NoSubrannke 0 points1 point ago

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My cat does the same thing with the laser pointer. He'll be attacking it, and then notice that the light is coming from the button I'm pressing in my hand. Then he meows and tries to knock it out of my hand.