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all 85 comments

[–]Ginnysaurus[!] 47 points48 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"Yeah, I remember grinding my toofs on Eddie's couch..."

[–]Sobertese 1 point2 points ago

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"I never ground my toofs on Charlie Murphy's couch, cocaines a hellofa drug"

[–]BigBadMrBitches 5 points6 points ago

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Damn, that's funny

[–]Fuck-Yo-Couch 142 points143 points ago

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You called?

[–]dawkness 24 points25 points ago

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I think I belong here as well.

[–]zrex244 9 points10 points ago

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Darknesses! Darknesses!

[–]GHitchHiker 2 points3 points ago

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Close enough.

[–]fuckyourcouchplease 8 points9 points ago

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you need to be polite about.

[–]TTTaToo 17 points18 points ago

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You waited 9 months?

Well played sir, well played.

[–]Slikkback 24 points25 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]kelvinpoo 2 points3 points ago

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came to see this. was not dissapointed

[–]BallroomBallerina 11 points12 points ago

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TIL: never get bitten by a hedgehog.

[–]philge 8 points9 points ago

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I've never gotten really bitten by my hedgehog, but they do like to nip sometimes. It's not a malicious nip, more of a "hey, what's this thing?!" kind of a nip. They're not the smartest animals . . .

[–]Coral_Fang 4 points5 points ago

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Mine usually licks my hands for a bit first and only nips at my hands if I didn't wash them well after eating something.

[–]philge 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah. If they smell something tasty on your hand, your definitely gonna get nipped at!

[–]dustyjuicebox 0 points1 point ago

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Or they smell something they thing is poisonous and start to flem with it. My hedgehog thought toothpaste was quite the deadly concoction

[–]SpeedGeek 3 points4 points ago

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Seriously, I got truly bit once by my hedgehog (completely my fault btw). And between the bite and the little guy curling up into a ball of spiny death... not a fun experience.

[–]4rch 0 points1 point ago

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I think mine thought my arm hair was worms or something

[–]4rch 0 points1 point ago

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NEVER get bitten by one. One time one just lunged at my arm and bit it. Instead of letting go they like to hold on and grind their teeth around your skin every time you try to move.

[–]fetchthemup 30 points31 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Vertman3000 8 points9 points ago

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It's a celebration bitches! Enjoy yourself.

[–]quickpensketch 34 points35 points ago

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[–]raisin_bran_in[S] 18 points19 points ago

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I'm honored you chose my post to be this novelty account's maiden voyage. I wish you success and happiness in the future. Cheers!

[–]quickpensketch 6 points7 points ago

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Thanks! :D

[–]RenderFastocaster 3 points4 points ago

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Too quick, pensketch.

[–]lisabadcat 0 points1 point ago

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Not me, there's so much novelty that novelty itself has become an exhausted meme.

[–]prose-before-hoes 3 points4 points ago

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WOW WHAT AN ORIGINAL NOVELTY ACCOUNT

[–]BexterV 3 points4 points ago

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hedge hog bites are fucking nasty. Those little fuckers lock their jaw when they bite you and don't let go. I'm terrified of putting my finger near my hedge hog's mouth.

[–]Marceline523 2 points3 points ago

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Me too. This adorable little guy is in your lap and then it tries to sniff my finger!! No!

[–]4rch 0 points1 point ago

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And your always holding it, so if you let go they just hold on.

[–]always_false_facts 3 points4 points ago

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he is actually caring for your couch by removing insects that you can not see with your naked eye. thank him.

[–]TehPerfessor 10 points11 points ago

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" Im RICK JAMES BITCH"

[–]everynamestakenSTILL 8 points9 points ago

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IM PORCUPINE JAMES BITCH

[–]Chodestorm 2 points3 points ago

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COLD AS ICE!

[–]maeelstrom 2 points3 points ago

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They shoulda never given you hedgehogs MUNNAY!

[–]arowls 4 points5 points ago

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Cocaine is a hell of a drug!

[–]anexanhume 2 points3 points ago

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Zhis cowhh isshhh fheckhhn deleshush mahhhn.

[–]bhuddamonk 4 points5 points ago

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Nigga!

[–]MarderFahrer 1 point2 points ago

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Looks like dude needs some help.

[–]frankhorriganlovesto 1 point2 points ago

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I thought that couch was actually a dude and this picture had a hole different meaning.

[–]howdoyoudance 1 point2 points ago

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[–]moneymizzlle 1 point2 points ago

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Darkness!!!!

[–]LordHellsing11 1 point2 points ago

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DARKNESS IS SPREADING!!!

[–]moneymizzlle 0 points1 point ago

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you're cold as ice!

[–]gripmastah 1 point2 points ago

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Charlie Murphy!!!

[–]iam-wolverine 1 point2 points ago

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cocaine is a hell of a drug

[–]lalicat 1 point2 points ago

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Funny story, when I was a kid I had 4 hedgehogs. We had them litter box trained like cats. We let them run around the house free because they would eat spiders and other bugs all the time. There was this one little demon hedgehog I named Sputnik. She absolutely HATED black things. She was the most racist hedgehog ever! (weird considering she was an "African Pygmy Hedgehog") but my father wore black socks every day. She used to hide under the couch and my father would sit down after a hard days work and relax. She would run out and bite the fuck out of his toe. Anyone who owns hedgehogs knows that when they bite if you try and pull them off they don't let go so you just have to sit and wait til they stop biting. Well after a whole year my father was obviously not a quick learner - he would still sit down on the couch and she would run out and destroy his toes at least once a month. This picture reminded me of my lovely long since gone hedgehogs. Thank you for that.

[–]Trollohunter 1 point2 points ago

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Im Rick James Bitch

[–]habadacas 3 points4 points ago

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They shoulda never gave you money

[–]Zuran 12 points13 points ago

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They should'ave neva gave you niggas money! (Do it properly :p)

[–]habadacas -5 points-4 points ago

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but that's only a possum, its not like it was Eddie Murphies couch, i mean how am i supposed to know the race of the possum, maybe its a Chinese possum, or an Italian possum.

[–]Zuran 2 points3 points ago

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Sooooo, that's a possum?

[–]habadacas 0 points1 point ago

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upon re-examining the photo, maybe its a hedgehog, either way, its NOT Eddie Murphey :-)

[–]Zuran 1 point2 points ago

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C'mon, I don't want to be a dick but get SOMETHING right- It "must" be a hedgehog? "Murphey"? Last shot :P

[–]habadacas 1 point2 points ago

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garble wlonk finggjkssl pitutty

[–]GHitchHiker 0 points1 point ago

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There you go.

[–]LordHellsing11 0 points1 point ago

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Not an Eddy Murphy, but perhaps a CHARLIE MURRPHAYYY

[–]Velocity17 1 point2 points ago

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Bite the pillow, Im going in dry

[–]pkkid 0 points1 point ago

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[–]theangryluddite 0 points1 point ago

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Why would they downvote this? Why?

[–]UnicornOnTheCobb 0 points1 point ago

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I might be a grouch but I ain't no slouch, 7 foot with a straight back, fuck yo couch.

[–]snugglefuckwhat 0 points1 point ago

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he is going to anoint all over that bitch

[–]BeamServer 0 points1 point ago

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Teeth!!

[–]Michi_THE_Awesome 0 points1 point ago

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Hedgehogs bite things then spit on their backs. They're taking that odor and disguising themselves with it, so predators will be confused and not single them out. Their bite is like a little pin prick. It's over before you know it and not that painful.

[–]shred1 0 points1 point ago

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The males also suck themselves off and cover themselves with their cum. I want to be a hedgehog in my next life.They just don't give a fuck.

[–]4rch 0 points1 point ago

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Lies. You've never been bitten by a prick hedgehog

[–]Michi_THE_Awesome 0 points1 point ago

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Were you teasing the hedgehog? Was it scared (hissing/curled up and quills all out)?

[–]4rch 0 points1 point ago

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Nope, it was laying between my chest and arms (holding it). It looked at my arm annnnd CHOMP

[–]Michi_THE_Awesome 0 points1 point ago

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Perhaps you were wearing cologne/perfume, or used a strongly scented body wash? Your scent was perceived as different and therefore must be harvested for protection.

[–]FlyingScissor 0 points1 point ago

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Sonic can be a dick sometimes.

[–]xxjakexx47 0 points1 point ago

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I love your mixture of hedgehogs and dave chappel.

[–]Kickendekok 0 points1 point ago

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Buy a new couch

[–]BaneFang 0 points1 point ago

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Dirty Couch!

[–]stickysox 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck yo repost.

[–]PocketNicks 0 points1 point ago

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Amaze

[–]TotemoTanaka 0 points1 point ago

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Nigga that was weeks ago!

[–]thompsonj02 0 points1 point ago

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My legs! What am I going to do about my legs!

[–]LordHellsing11 0 points1 point ago

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"Nah man, I didn't just grind my muddy boots on Charlie Murphy's couch who'd do that kind of thing?" 2 seconds later "Ya I rubbed my boots on Charlie Murphy's couch"

[–]Bananarama20 0 points1 point ago

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Unityyyyyy.

[–]MrSylnce 0 points1 point ago

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That made sonic much more terrifying

[–]r-howtonotgiveafuck 0 points1 point ago

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All I can think of is Sonic.

[–]nearly-evil 2 points3 points ago

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My hedgehog was named sonic. I was 8 so, yeah.

[–]staplesgowhere 2 points3 points ago

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So was mine, and I was well into my 20s at the time.

I REGRET NOTHING

[–]SpeedGeek 3 points4 points ago

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Everyone I showed my hedgehog to asked if I named him Sonic.

I just couldn't go with the obvious choice.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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What'd the five fingers say to the face?