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all 32 comments

[–]devourke 29 points30 points ago

That gif can be taken one of two ways OP and I want you to tell me which way it is.

1) You went to court in an attempt to get off paying your traffic ticket, and the cop didn't show which meant you won by default. Then you were almost in disbelief at your luck, a reaction showed by the gif.

That is probably the more likely scenario but I still prefer the second one;

2) You were walking down the street one day when you saw a piece of paper lying on the ground. You looked at it in passing, not really thinking about it.

"Hey, you got a problem ese?" says a voice coming from somewhere in front of you.

You look around for the source of the voice but don't see anyone.

"You fucking staring at me gringo? EH? You got a fucking problem with me, EH?"

You look back at the piece of paper with an incredulous look on your face.

"Did you just talk? Are you a talking piece of litter?" you ask the piece of paper, looking around for the cameras thinking that this must be some sort of tv show prank.

"Who you calling litter, fucko? Say it again mutherfucker, say it again," comes the voice from the piece of paper.

You walk over to it to investigate and discover that it's a parking ticket.

"You wanna fucking do this, gringo? You wanna fucking fight?"

"I don't want any trouble sir," you say, unsuccessfully trying to stop yourself from smirking at the thought of being beaten up by a piece of paper.

"You FUCKING LAUGHING AT ME MUTHERFUCKER? I'LL TEAR YOUR FUCKING THROAT OUT! WALMART PARKING LOT! 3:00 TOMORROW MUTHERFUCKER. YOU BETTER FUCKING BE THERE OR I'LL FIND YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ALL OF THEM" yelled the traffic ticket, flapping indignantly in the wind.

"Okay," you say, because let's be honest, it's not like you have anything better to do. You start to walk away and try to ignore the ticket calling you names, but deep down it hurts. "I'm going to rip that piece of paper to shreds," you think to yourself, "it's going to regret the day it ever tried to fuck with one-to-many"

2:55PM the next day...

You had been preparing yourself for the fight the entire day. You had asked your boss for the day off so you could spend the few hours before the fight mentally preparing yourself for anything that he might throw at you. You decide to call the police and tell them that there's a fight going down at Walmart. In the slight chance that you start to lose the fight, you know that the police will intervene before too long and stop it from getting too serious.

3 minutes left...

The Walmart is only 100 metres down the road. It should only take about a minute to walk there. You leave your apartment, hiding the keys underneath the welcome mat because you're not very clever and because you don't want them to be used as a weapon against you.

It's a gloomy day outside. The sun is hiding above the clouds, it doesn't want to see what you're about to partake in. You don't notice this at all though as you're completely focused on one thing and one thing alone. Destroying that dumbass piece of paper that thought it could talk shit to you and not receive any consequences.

You make your way into the parking lot and immediately see the flappy little bastard on the windscreen of a Jeep Pajero. You stride over to it, not intending to waste any time.

"Well well, looks like the little gringo decided to show up after all. Not a smart move, amigo."

"How about we skip the small talk and get right to it?" you say with a determined look on your face.

"Haha amigo, if you insist," the ticket said as he purposefully started flapping around as hard as he could.

"What the fuck are you doing?" you exclaim at him. "Is this what you call fighting?" You notice some movement out of the corner of your eye. You turn around to see yourself surrounded by traffic tickets. "Fuck!" It was an ambush! Where the fuck is that cop?

"You having second thoughts, ese?" laughed the ticket behind him. "You should have thought first before you decided to fuck with me. GET HIM!"

There was a flurry of noise as the tickets rose up into the air. "This is how I die," you think to yourself. You look around yourself hoping to hell that cop gets here in the next few seconds, but you don't see anything.

The tickets start to fly towards you, flying through the air like violent receipts. They're everywhere, you can't see for the paper soaring around your head. Some of the tickets fall on your head, but most of them get blown by the wind and miss their target or hit your body. Eventually, they've all fallen to the ground.

"I... I don't... I don't know what I expected..." you think to yourself with a bemused expression on your face. You reach over and grab the ticket that you had beef with. "Is that it?" you ask of it.

"What do you meant, is that it? You should be fucking dead, gringo, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

You stare at the ticket for another few seconds and then throw it on the ground. You go home and post on Reddit about how you got ambushed by a half mexican/half canadian mob of traffic tickets not realizing the connotations of using the rather ambiguous medium of a gif which was created for an entirely different purpose. Not to worry though. I understood.

[–]one-to-many[S] 7 points8 points ago

I feel sorry for your mother ...

[–]vegeneric 6 points7 points ago

I'm gonna go with, ಠ_ಠ.

[–]Quietbetrayal 4 points5 points ago

The fuck did I just read.

[–]whiskey_soaked 2 points3 points ago

Christ. The amount of bored you must be to take the fucking time here.

[–]completej 0 points1 point ago

Meds. If you're on them, get off. If you're on them, check dosage. Upv for an amazing read.

[–]MustGoOutside 0 points1 point ago

You can always tell when they're trying to get on bestof. I'd give it to him anyway.

[–]mellonandenter 0 points1 point ago

ttl;Dr.

[–]RalphiesBoogers 2 points3 points ago

In my county they release doves.

[–]squink2 2 points3 points ago

In Soviet Russia, doves release you.

[–]vegeneric 1 point2 points ago

[–]Cheddarwurst 1 point2 points ago

I hear that happens a lot.

[–]Trublhappn 1 point2 points ago

I shit you not, i am literally in the court waiting room right now waiting to see if the cop doesn't show up.

[–]Derp_Wave 1 point2 points ago

the first thing on reddit to make me laugh after 12 mins of browsing

[–]sugii 1 point2 points ago

Awesome feeling isn't it? I received a speeding ticket and found out I had a warrant for a ticket I completely forgot about 2 years prior. Went to go plead guilty a month later and the cop didn't show up.

[–]videogameexpert 0 points1 point ago

In my city they send one cop for all the tickets. That cop pulls people aside before the case gets heard to basically see which defendants showed up. They offer you a plea bargain and if you refuse they call in your officer.

So basically the cop always shows up but never has to sit around for 3 hours like the normal people.

[–]theshad0w 0 points1 point ago

O_o, this seems like a load of crap. If I have to take time out of my day to come argue your incompetence you had better have your ass in the courtroom if you feel you were right.

Don't get me wrong, if I get busted for something and it's clearly my fault I'm all about paying my dues but if you pull some lame ass shit and I come to fight you'd better be wasting your time as well.

[–]Kraytdizzle 0 points1 point ago

Here I believe the cops get paid for a full day of work just for showing up, regardless if you do or not.

That isn't much incentive for them to not show up around here.

[–]norwegiangeek 0 points1 point ago

My understanding is that they very rarely do show up as it's not worth their time.

[–]Riac007 0 points1 point ago

I am hoping the same thing happens to me in a couple weeks :-(

[–]pointmanzero 0 points1 point ago

the cop gets paid to show up so count on him being there. HOWEVER if you appeal the ruling to a higher court the cop wont show up

[–]wildlovemonkey 0 points1 point ago

Happened to me with a DUI...dismissed.

[–]HWDylan 1 point2 points ago

It's kind of fucked up that you got a charge which equates to endangering lives dismissed because a cop was lazy.

You would think DUI was a little more serious than that.

[–]wildlovemonkey 0 points1 point ago

You're implying I was guilty. Whatever happened to "innocent until proven otherwise"?

[–]HWDylan 2 points3 points ago

You misunderstand, I am not laying any blame on you. I am saying that with a charge as serious as DUI, you would think that it would be taken a little more seriously than just "cop didn't show up, you are free". If the cop who cited you honestly thought you were under the influence while driving, he should have an a strong obligation to back that up and not just sit at home because he is too lazy to go to court.

[–]wildlovemonkey 1 point2 points ago

It was a long story. It was actually dismissed once before, because the cop that administered the BT didn't show...then I was arraigned all over and re-charged. It took over 18 months and numerous trips to a courthouse 20 miles away(most of the time being driven by my dad).At the time of the arrest I passed all the sobriety tests perfectly, and the cops talked me into a BT...they actually said "you did so good you might as well take the test so you can walk out of here" however, since my last drink was so close, I failed...just barely. After the 18 months of dicking around, I finally decided to just plead guilty and get it over with(first offense)...on the way to court(with my girlfriend, since I was going to be giving up my license) my lawyer called and said that the DA informed her that none of the officers were going to there(there were 3 involved). We asked for a trial and got the dismissal. Just so you know, I am an alcoholic, I am in recovery and doing great. I learned my lesson...and yes, cops are lazy.

[–]lolsv 0 points1 point ago

What happens if you go fight a ticket and you don't show up?

[–]KRONie 0 points1 point ago

You get a warrant. My dumbass friend got a warrant for not showing up to court to pay a ~$60 fine for not having a ticket on a metro.

[–]lolsv 0 points1 point ago

Isn't that nice, cop doesn't show up and he's off banging his wife. You don't show up and you go to jail.

[–]chaos122345 0 points1 point ago

the cop never shows up when you fight a ticket unless you take it to court. its always good to fight every ticket you get because 905 of the time the states dont want to have to pay for the legal fees of going to trial over a speeding ticket or parking ticket. so they lower it down to something really easy, depending on how often you fight or show up. I got a ticket once for being on my cell phone and driving (i was changing a song on my ipod but w.e) so i fought the ticket and they reduced it down to a parking ticket. went from a $90 ticket and points on my license to a 25dollar parking ticket...and all i did was walked up to the DA. before i said anything he offered me that deal....MERICA!

[–]fistymcbuttpuncher 0 points1 point ago

Felt the same way when I got out of a $350 ticket when the cop didn't show. Was going 110 in a 65, but he wrote it up as 80 in 65 to avoid having to arrest me for reckless&dangerous driving. Kinda feel bad taking advantage of his "kindness" but then again he should've shown up too.