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681
682

Glass of Water (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Arcvalons

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[–][deleted] 69 points70 points ago

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This is a repost, but the Todd Howard one get me every time.

[–]wontstoptalking 63 points64 points ago

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"See that glass of water? You can marry it."

-peter molyneux

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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I don't think you hyped that up enough, friend.

[–]wontstoptalking 40 points41 points ago

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"See that glass of water? You can marry it. Then have a child with it. That child can grow from a sippy cup to a pitcher with a filter and everything, but if your reputation with him goes too low, then he'll try and drown you. If your reputation gets high enough, it will give you a dog, which can actually learn English if you teach it through the Kinect microphone. The glass of water that you married can cheat on you with the dog, resulting in a horrible dog-water hybrid that eventually becomes a tyrant king. You can kill that tyrant king and restore peace to the land. Or you can play the lute. And then marry the lute."

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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This is amazingly well done. Too bad it's all LIES.

[–]ThatDerpingGuy 5 points6 points ago

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Don't believe his lies

[–]Dexyn 1 point2 points ago

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Definitely going with the lute.

[–]hobbitish 7 points8 points ago

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Same here. I cracked up when I saw that.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Climb this upvote, brother.

[–]sulubster 0 points1 point ago

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That and vaporated.

[–]glass_of_water 3 points4 points ago

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You think you got it bad, try living with that joke.

[–]Calvinb27 2 points3 points ago

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"this glass has been posted at least a dozen times before." - reddit

[–]airnoone 52 points53 points ago

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Original FPS? You're going to make a lot of people angry.

[–]Hellrazor236 21 points22 points ago

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Especially considering that that turn-based RPG was being given away for free today (and tomorrow).

[–]Sarxasm 8 points9 points ago

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Why was I not informed of this ಠ_ಠ

Thank you.

brb Fallout forever.

[–]Vepps 7 points8 points ago

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On gog.com.

[–]singhforthewin 0 points1 point ago

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thanks for telling me bro

[–]Sven2774 0 points1 point ago

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I just created an account. Not only can you get Fallout for free, but apparently you get a lot of good games just for making an account. I checked my library on GoG and had Beneath a Steel Sky and Ultima IV in there, as well as Tryian 2000 and a few others.

[–]HollowNinja 2 points3 points ago

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Yep, every single GOG user gets about 4 games for free no matter when you register.

[–]Kevin_Wolf 5 points6 points ago

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Original Fallout Person Shooter.

[–]chronoBG 2 points3 points ago

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Wait, you mean this is NOT from Metal Gear Solid 4? Oh wow. Oh wow, I've misunderstood the references for years...

[–]EpicSheep -2 points-1 points ago

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Although the quote is famously from the fallout franchise, I feel it's use in this image is about the content of the quote, rather than who said it.

Online FPS's these days generally have a similar art style, time period, weapons, locations and recieve frequent sequels which are much the same.

[–]wittlepup -5 points-4 points ago

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I believe it was a reference to COD when one of the characters says, "War, war never changes." That is why it says original FPS.

[–]BaseVilliN 3 points4 points ago

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Sure, if you ignore the fact that that every Fallout game starts with Ron Perlman saying "War. War never changes."

[–]wittlepup 0 points1 point ago

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I'm sure it is satire. Hence the "original" part.

[–]khaosdragon 20 points21 points ago

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"This water is the best water you will ever have. It's like a million tiny puppies and kittens rubbing your balls while you shit out rainbows. When you've finished the glass of water, you will realize that this is how water should be, and no other water will compare to it. You will feel empty for the rest of your days, unless you drink this water again." -Peter Molyneux

[–]philphan25 19 points20 points ago

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Bioware: You can choose to drink the water with a straw or from the glass. The result is still the same.

[–]rk9 10 points11 points ago

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You can add different flavors to the water as you go, but in the end it will be replaced with dirt

FTFY

[–]Kevin_Wolf 3 points4 points ago

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If you drink all of the water, we give you different flavors to enhance your prior experience drinking the water.

FTFY

[–]sleeplessone 1 point2 points ago

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If you drink all of the water, we give you different coloring to enhance your prior experience drinking the water. It doesn't really change the taste, you might swear it tastes different but it's really just the same water.

Now with more accuracy.

[–]BionicBeans 4 points5 points ago

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"You can drink this water however you want, but no matter how you drink it, you are still going to be left with a completely empty glass."

[–]traumalt 3 points4 points ago

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The glass comes in 3 colors, but the water inside is the same.

FTFY

[–]sunkenOcean01 33 points34 points ago

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Bethesda doesn't just tell you to fill the other half, they give you the pitcher.

[–]ss4mario 19 points20 points ago

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But the pitcher has no water, but they leave a tap next to you.

[–]VideoScourge 6 points7 points ago

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No water runs from the tap, but they give you the water companies address and send you on your first quest, Water Water Everywhere.

[–]Sydius 9 points10 points ago

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No, they give you Hydrogen and Oxygen so you can make your own water from scratch.

[–]deagle2012 2 points3 points ago

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No, they give you protons, neutrons, and electrons sø you can make your own elements and... This is just getting silly now.

[–]Ar4n 11 points12 points ago

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The ''We added a straw to appeal to a larger audience'' from Blizzard always gets me. It's the entire Blizzard game design philosophy from the last 4 years packed perfectly into 1 sentence.

[–]sleeplessone 0 points1 point ago

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We're dividing the water into 3 separate glasses. Which you will have to purchase separately, because there is too much water to fit in one glass, when really we could honestly probably fit it all into 1 1/2 glasses.

[–]oli704 9 points10 points ago

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I Laughed my ass off when i got to blizzard, they did add alot of "Straws" to world of warcraft since i started playing it... now there's just too much staws to fit in my mouth so i'm getting a mountain dew instead ._.

[–]HollowNinja 5 points6 points ago

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There's no straw in here, so it's not accessible enough. We need to replace this cup with a sippy cup with a built-in straw, it's too much work to pick up a straw yourself.

-Blizzard

[–]oli704 1 point2 points ago

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Nice one!

[–]rk9 -1 points0 points ago

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By mountain dew you mean...

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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EVE Online?

[–]rk9 -1 points0 points ago

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Not a huge fan of EVE, my guess was starcraft considering the fast paced frantic-ness of it all

[–]CaTiNzEhAt 0 points1 point ago

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Eve is only hard to start. the first 3-4 months are the worst unless you stay in highsec or mine.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I started in null sec with broski back when it was good (Led by Kalnov).

Was quite fun messing stuff up in a rifter, but making money by salvaging other peoples anomalies was kinda boring(though profitable).

[–]sleeplessone 0 points1 point ago

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Welcome to the last 3 months of my life.

[–]dan2737 0 points1 point ago

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But, why would you play a pay-per-month game if you don't enjoy the first 3 to 4 months?

[–]Shamde 0 points1 point ago

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He said hard, not bad.

[–]dan2737 0 points1 point ago

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Hard to the point that it's called by him as "the worst".

[–]Shamde 0 points1 point ago

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Worst meaning the peak of difficulty is how I understood him?

Or perhaps the 3 - 4 months are considered "Good" while everything onwards is "great". Technically it still means 3-4 is the "worst" :P

Either way he didn't say it's not enjoyable!

[–]dan2737 0 points1 point ago

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Okay. I read it as "the first 3-4 months are the worst unless you stay in highsec or mine." but I guess he means the worst of the game and then it gets better.

[–]CaTiNzEhAt 0 points1 point ago

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Eve is about being in for the long haul. If you are a basement dwelling neckbeard with an unlimited amount of time to play, it wont help you any more then give you time to practice flying ships. The first 3-4 months are the grind to get some decent skills for bigger ships.

Or you can fall in love with hero rifters or brobirds and join dreddit and have fun from day 1

[–]oli704 0 points1 point ago

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Another beverage... most likely mojang or Valve

[–]TheForceWithin 11 points12 points ago

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CD Project: 'If you are still thirsty we can give you some more water for free if you want.'

[–]HollowNinja 2 points3 points ago

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What, you think our water doesn't taste very fresh? We apologize. Here, we'll fix it with better water, and as a bonus, give a better cup too. If you come back in a few days we'll still give you more water. Oh, and bring your buddies, too, we'll be happy to give them water too.

[–]FurryFear 4 points5 points ago

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We call this BETA -Mojang

[–]ObidiahWTFJerwalk 5 points6 points ago

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If you buy the half a glass now, you'll get the full glass when it's finished.

[–]superfudge 7 points8 points ago

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"YOU DIED"

-From Software

[–]HollowNinja 0 points1 point ago

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This water is laced with iocane powder. It enhances the taste but is likely to kill you in high doses. If you take enough of it, you will build up an immunity and be a complete badass.

[–]SoundVU 16 points17 points ago

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An engineer should have noticed that because the glass is slightly conical, the missing "half" of water would actually be greater than the original volume present.

TL;DR - the glass is actually not half full because it's conical.

[–]legoalert 2 points3 points ago

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The glass has a safety factor greater than 2.

[–]NotTrying2Hard -1 points0 points ago

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There is no proof of this based on the information given.

[–]1fromUK 1 point2 points ago

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Most people don't fill the glass to the brim, they leave it a bit empty to avoid spillage.

[–]DaHolk 2 points3 points ago

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So you are saying that there are effectively no full glasses other than for demonstrative purposes?

[–]iconrunner 3 points4 points ago

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False: Engineers know their dimensions.

[–]experbia 6 points7 points ago

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Every time I see this, I think "oh, that's old, seen it."

Then I read through it again and by the time I get to the h2o.exe not responding, I'm cracking up again.

I can hear it in my head :( Like every time you start a garry's mod match.

[–]SeanBatz 3 points4 points ago

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EA: You see that glass of water, first you must download a $15 online pass, then pay an additional $10 if you want the other half.

[–]This-one-guy 3 points4 points ago

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EA - almost finished drinking? Sorry youve lost connection to Ridernet

[–]rk9 4 points5 points ago

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EA - you must reconfirm that you have a valid mouth before drinking, and after every subsequent sip

[–]Sven2774 3 points4 points ago*

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The h2o.exe one is the best.

[–]Cushions29 2 points3 points ago

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its h2o not h20.

[–]Wolf_Asari -2 points-1 points ago

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No it's hl2.exe...Not h20.

[–]HeckXX 14 points15 points ago

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"an original fps"

lol ok

[–]napoleondance 2 points3 points ago

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I feel like I should make a lazy Steam joke, but it's 5:20 AM. Can someone else do it please? It doesn't have to be very smart.

[–]crazyguy473 8 points9 points ago

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how about this

WEEKEND MADNESS: water 50% off

[–]AquaNeito 4 points5 points ago

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75% OFF!

okay okay i will buy it.. (2 years later - never played it once)

[–]sleeplessone 2 points3 points ago

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Stick a hat on the glass and call it good.

[–]lukesta5 2 points3 points ago

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"Thats not water" - The Pissist

[–]heartjaedong 2 points3 points ago

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"Soon." - Blizzard Entertainment

[–]K2J 2 points3 points ago

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"It's the exact same water from decades ago, but with added salt because that's new and exciting, and in a glass that you would have expected 3 years ago." - Nintendo

[–]BionicBeans 2 points3 points ago*

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"For security reasons, only a certain number of drinks can be had from a single glass. This limit has been reached. Please purchase another glass, repour, and try again."

Electronic Arts

[–]AFamousBuffalo 2 points3 points ago

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See that glass of water? You're going to die 30 times trying to drink it. -FROM Software

[–]HomieGSkillitBiskitt 2 points3 points ago

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Best is GSC.

[–]Pinhedd 4 points5 points ago

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pfft. Since when does putting an apple label on a product increase performance

[–]Xiuhtec 14 points15 points ago

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Well it's supposedly quoting Apple. Thus, they announce that it increases performance and price. Then, they only successfully deliver on the price part.

Their fans later argue that the performance Apple was referring to is a slightly rougher texture afforded the glass by the application of the logo, improving the user experience by increasing friction and reducing glass droppability, making the price premium worthwhile.

[–]Pinhedd 4 points5 points ago

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yet they went and fucked it up by putting the antenna on the outside of the case.

Protip apple: fire you designers, hire engineers

[–]CowsGoPoo 1 point2 points ago

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Yes. Because that means they solve problems.

[–]marsneedstowels 3 points4 points ago

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It's a similar concept to the Orks in Warhammer believing painting their vehicles red makes them go faster. Only it actually does in Warhammer.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Orks are Phsychic. There is fluff somewhere stating that ork weapons/tech make no sense/should not work, but only work because the combined ork collectiveness believes they should.

[–]xXBlUnTsM0KA420Xx 0 points1 point ago

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Yep. Everything they think happens. So their crude, blunt blades can chop through spess mehreens like butter because they think it can. I also read a story about how an ork tank stopped moving. So they get out and try to find what the problem was, they're at it for a few hours before they figure out the tank is out of fuel, the bigger ork says he filled it this morning, so it couldn't be out of fuel and that if anyone wants to fight about it they are welcome to. In fear they believe him then magically the tank is able to continue driving.

They're also fungi.

[–]Johnny-Rocco-1935 1 point2 points ago

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This city juice ain't gonna smuggle itself, boys.

[–]OrpheusV 1 point2 points ago

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My response: "Who the hell drank half my glass of water!? ಠ_ಠ"

[–]jokubolakis 1 point2 points ago

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Why do people keep reposting the same shit over and over again

[–]AquaNeito 1 point2 points ago

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it something to do with cats ..

[–]tihs_eht 1 point2 points ago

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I know this it is a repost, but someone should make this happen with Brazzers marketing plan.

[–]iTzDusty 1 point2 points ago

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Yes Tovarish, he was a good stalker....

[–]helalo 1 point2 points ago

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apple sounds a bit like BMW.

[–]Fesquera 1 point2 points ago

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We`ve got this glass of water a hat to make it better ~ Valve

[–]noagendaproducer 1 point2 points ago

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You have said something we don't like so we won't give you any water even if you are dying of thirst -EA

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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It's Cossacks Vodka from STALKER.

[–]AquaNeito 0 points1 point ago

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nuka water - fallout

[–]Trixxr 1 point2 points ago

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As a Half Life 2 fan, I've been told not to drink the water.

[–]MarioHead 1 point2 points ago

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Paradox Interactive: It's historically accurate.

[–]Ov3rpowered 1 point2 points ago

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Does anyone have original source? I would really appreciate it!

[–]dhvl2712 1 point2 points ago

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Which Activision game has $20 DLC on Day 1?

[–]lookieausername 1 point2 points ago

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No quote from EA?

[–]Isunova 1 point2 points ago

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Fucking IGN.

[–]MarcoPixel 1 point2 points ago

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That h2o.exe stopped working got me.

[–]Goat_puncher 1 point2 points ago

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"The glass is never empty. If it's half-way filled with water the other half is filled with air." - The chemist

[–]xVeZx 1 point2 points ago

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gaben: you are never getting that third glass of water

[–]HollowNinja 2 points3 points ago

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But check out out! We built water fountains instead, so you can get other people's water but more conveniently!

[–]neopunches 1 point2 points ago

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good analogy

[–]reidhasguitar 1 point2 points ago

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I almost cried at the Todd Howard quote.

[–]MalekTaktak 1 point2 points ago

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Half-Life; HALF..

I see what you did there.

[–]TheBrandyVandl 1 point2 points ago

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The glass is half full of air - Microsoft

[–]hafgrimm 1 point2 points ago

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You've drank from the glass 3 times. Purchase again.

                                                                       EA

[–]ThatDerpingGuy 1 point2 points ago

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"You can drink it when it's ready." - ArenaNet

[–]BumaTehEwok 1 point2 points ago

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Most were witty, but I feel this guy may have something against Capcom.

[–]grand_marquis 1 point2 points ago

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Glass of water in OP is less than half full

[–]AntiCitizenJuan 1 point2 points ago

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LETS DRINK TO HIM ONCE MORE! Always glad to see a fellow Stalker!

[–]mrbrinks 1 point2 points ago

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Hey dog we heard you might drown from water so I created a cup of water for you to drink so you won't drown.

[–]spaztwelve 1 point2 points ago

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I never understood this whole concept. The glass is half full if you are filling it. And the glass is half empty if you are drinking from it.

Oh wait...there was humor involved? My bad.

[–]furbiesandbeans 1 point2 points ago

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"The glass is full, half water, half air"

  • A smartass

[–]BaronOfBarons 1 point2 points ago

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How is there not a single Nintendo joke yet?

[–]spiderleet 1 point2 points ago

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"The glass is half full of shit." - /v/

[–]ComplacentBard 1 point2 points ago

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vaporated

ಠ_ಠ

[–]chicken_nuggets52 1 point2 points ago

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Either vaporized or evaporated. Choose one.

[–]Linktank 1 point2 points ago

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Who drank half of my water!? - Me

[–]tanlin2021 1 point2 points ago

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Can someone explain the obsidian analogy to me? =[ thanks

[–]hosj321 1 point2 points ago

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Does it bother anyone else IGN gave it a 95 out of 100 ml? Shouldn't it be more like 50/100 ml?

[–]BSMitchell 1 point2 points ago

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Wait. Why do we hate Obsidian? I thought we agreed New Vegas was great. I don't want to have to dislike another thing because reddit told me to..

[–]Boobcake 0 points1 point ago

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Hah, good one. :D

[–]SphereofWreckening 1 point2 points ago

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A good friend told me it's half water, half air, always full, which I replied with "You just blew my fucking mind, man."

[–]BBS- 3 points4 points ago

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Activision doesn't do day 1 DLC.

Commence the Downvotes.

[–]Dared00 2 points3 points ago

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Activision doesn't do day 1 DLC, online passes and even Kotick said he doesn't care about used games.

Compared to EA, they aren't that bad.

[–]DaHolk 0 points1 point ago

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That's just part of the attention cycle.

This year Activision isn't that bad, next year Kotick is going sprout some more of his "Fear and suffering breeds effective programmers" stuff, and EA will act all humble and reperative. 6 months later Activision lays low and Ubisoft is threatening again to leave the PC plattform.

That's why they only believe piracy to be a function of pure greed, because the cycle of pirates is entirely different from their expected "action-> consequences" paradigm that their customers base follows.

[–]AquaNeito 2 points3 points ago

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Activision releases their dlc before the game is released. jk

[–]hnrqoliv182 0 points1 point ago

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I lol'd my ass off at the last one.

RIP my butt.

[–]dan2737 0 points1 point ago

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more like hl2.exe has stopped responding...

[–]Armonster 0 points1 point ago

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This is a repost. Normally I don't care, the only reason I'm telling you is because the original post had some comments in it that were gold.

Someone link it! clap-clap

[–]AncientRune 0 points1 point ago

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This is a repost, back then when i posted it. 14 upvotes. foreveralone

[–]TastyMidgetElbowSex 0 points1 point ago

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Repost

[–]D3v1l55h4d0W 0 points1 point ago

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Might be a repost but this just made an otherwise bad day significantly better. Upvotes!

[–]ali_421 -3 points-2 points ago

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The pirate analogy is a little weak there.

[–]ionine 0 points1 point ago

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Why pay for a glass when you already pay for a tap?

[–]doilikeyou -5 points-4 points ago

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wow, extremely unclever

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