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When I discover the roommates ate all my peanut butter (chzgifs.files.wordpress.com)

submitted ago by Foxprowl

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[–]Cgillespie4 140 points141 points ago

....that is one fat fucking ferret.

[–]Craigellachie 211 points212 points ago*

Or a wickedly wobblely weasel.

An amazingly adipose ermine.

A swollen stout stoat?

An obviously obese otter!

Wishy washy whalelike wolverine?!

A massive macroscopic martin?!?

A PLEASINGLY PLUMP POLECAT!?!?

A MAMMOTH MEATY MINK!?!?!

[–]lord_nougat 3 points4 points ago

Nice marmot.

[–]ANAL_PLUNDERING 30 points31 points ago*

You could have done one and let everyone else do the rest ಠ_ಠ

[–]HasaBelt 26 points27 points ago

Socialized circle jerk?

[–]cz-cz-cz-czechitout 8 points9 points ago

Right? I almost feel like I got robbed.

[–]danpascooch[!] 0 points1 point ago

I have a feeling that if you ever actually get robbed, you're going to be in for one hell of an unpleasant surprise.

[–]cz-cz-cz-czechitout 1 point2 points ago

See, here's the thing. I really have been robbed. Twice. And I've also been mugged. Used to live in kind of a rough neighborhood. When I use a phrase like "I almost feel like I got robbed," it brings those memories flooding back and forces me to evaluate the current situation in those terms. Thus, we can all surmise that I reeeeeally wanted to do some alliteration.

[–]mrnicelupe 3 points4 points ago

Hey, he earned it, I'd say.

[–]bceedub 4 points5 points ago

His increasing excitement is totally worth it.

[–]FatStig 1 point2 points ago

He plunders the puns you stick to anuses.

[–]OreoDragon 4 points5 points ago

These all sound like Ubuntu versions.

[–]DJAshian 4 points5 points ago

A fabulously flubbery fisher?!

[–]rozero1234 0 points1 point ago

Very impressive alliteration. Time to use it for evil.

[–]iwantitalliwantitnow 0 points1 point ago

A mightily miffed mustelid?

[–]jazzrz -1 points0 points ago

Hoarders: Level Reddit.

[–]MrFatalistic -4 points-3 points ago

take all the karma why don't you!

[–]Wrickwrock 20 points21 points ago

It is adorably fat!

[–]Bazing1980 10 points11 points ago

Over feeding pets and putting their health at risk is not adorable.

Ok now that I got that out there, he does look cuddly.

[–]kelybely92 16 points17 points ago

Ferrets can weigh up to five pounds, and even more if their not fixed. They also gain winter "weight." Honestly that ferrets looks to be in great health.

[–]MiseryIsFree 1 point2 points ago

There are tons of ferrets out there that get quite large. Especially ferrets that are not spayed/neutered right away.

[–]xhaku 8 points9 points ago

What do you expect from a ferret that lives off peanut butter?

[–]sandandpomp 4 points5 points ago

I came here for condiment rage, but I leave now a happy man, best comment on the day.

[–]BrainTroubles 5 points6 points ago

Came here to say exactly this. I thought it was a badger at first. Holy shit, that ferret is a porker.

[–]MrPeel11 4 points5 points ago

I thought it was some domesticated pygmy badger... through this I have realized my dream... it will be bred

[–]canttell 6 points7 points ago

Male ferrets are a lot bigger than girls. Also their weight fluctuates with the cold weather.

[–]George_Hayduke 3 points4 points ago

I thought it was a possum at first

[–]Flat_corp 2 points3 points ago

My ferret gets even larger than this. A lot of that isn't even fat but their winter fur which makes them look incredibly puffy.

[–]Magnesus 1 point2 points ago

Sound like a future Ubuntu version. When they will go beyond two letter (after Zigzagging Zebra they will go to Anamorphic Analog Ameabe, BB, CCC, DDD, EEE and then Fat Fucking Ferret)...

[–]LouisiAnimal 0 points1 point ago

"FUCK...... FUUUUCKKKKK"

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

Sigh.. Fat ferret is faaaaaaaaat.

[–]Short_stuff 31 points32 points ago

Years ago when I lived with roommates I discovered that my peanut butter was getting used up really fast.

I came down one night to see my roommate scooping peanut butter out of the container with his fingers...

Who does shit like that?

[–]Craigellachie 14 points15 points ago

I hope you told him to get out of the house. Peanut butter is no mere game.

[–]4nonymo 9 points10 points ago

"Ewww, bro...I stick my dick in there..."

[–]danpascooch[!] 0 points1 point ago

Then if he just laughs, grab the jar and shove your dick in it.

And just stare at him.

[–]quatso 8 points9 points ago

someone who picks his nose, while fapping, and doesn't wash

[–]aco620 5 points6 points ago

...I use the boogers for lubrication...:(

[–]PowerCrazy 1 point2 points ago

I do that with my own PB, but I wouldn't think of even using someone else's PB out of guilt

[–]explodingplant 18 points19 points ago

Is this your reaction when the roommates offer to bathe you?

[–]Brickfrigid 1 point2 points ago

That's cute as shit

[–]I_Am_Not_An_Expert 15 points16 points ago

Some people are such fuck heads.

I buy stuff all the time and my roommate just gladly waits till I sleep to eat it (now I have to stash it)

But satans fiery asshole beware if you eat a slice of their bread.

[–]Kind_Of_A_Dick 5 points6 points ago

Buy something he likes to steal and add a shit-ton of Dave's Insanity Sauce, or something else spicy. Maybe some laxatives. Teach him a lesson.

[–]mousewrites 1 point2 points ago

Had a friend do this. His roommate would always steal his pizza, so he doused the last slices with Dave's.

... his roommate doesn't steal anymore.

[–]I_Am_Not_An_Expert 0 points1 point ago

Yeah but I like to eat my food without a slathering of death sauce.

[–]Kind_Of_A_Dick 2 points3 points ago

It's just bait for the trap.

[–]BadKitty420 0 points1 point ago

You're kind of a dick, but I like you.

[–]MurderJunkie 3 points4 points ago

I love what my old room mate would do.

I'd buy a carton of orange juice. he'd drink it and leave maybe like... half a cup.

just completely infuriating

[–]I_Am_Not_An_Expert 4 points5 points ago

Yep. My roommate will eat food and either leave an inedible portion, or even go as far as leaving the empty carton in there.

Probably some alcohol-related brain damage. Or an asshole.

[–]PowerCrazy 0 points1 point ago

Wow I can't believe someone would do that. I must be lucky because my flat mates never pull that shit and we're really respectful of others' shit

[–]I_Am_Not_An_Expert 0 points1 point ago

Well he will ask if he can have something if it's higher-rate, but then he will proceed to take two helpings when I tell him sure.

[–]tarishimo 0 points1 point ago

me and my roommate have an agreement, we buy all our own food. but if we eat each others we have to replace it in a timely manner. No eating others dinners without asking etc... it works well if you don't have an idiot for a roommate, and if you don't want something eaten label it or tell them.

[–]bezerker03 38 points39 points ago

Have an upvote for ferret.

[–]smosher13 2 points3 points ago

As a ferret owner, I have to say: Ferrets do that crazy jumpy dance all the time when you let them run around.

[–]bezerker03 1 point2 points ago

I know. That and dooking are the best. Lol.

[–]smosher13 0 points1 point ago

When I first got mine I thought it was trying to attack me!

[–]iwantitalliwantitnow 0 points1 point ago

Ah yes, the weasel war dance.

[–]I_REMOVE_COCKS 13 points14 points ago

They smell... SO bad.

[–]willsanquil 24 points25 points ago

Mine smell great.

Their shit doesn't.

Does your shit smell good?

[–]colloquialism86 3 points4 points ago

I'd go ferret-shit crazy also, if someone ate all my Jif.

[–]thatishcray -1 points0 points ago

I used to have one. It smelled pretty bad.

[–]willsanquil 2 points3 points ago

i have had 4 ferrets over the past 3 years and been around many more than that - i have never had the experience of the ferret itself having an unpleasant odor that was not the result of neglect on the owners part.

If you let them shit all over your house and in random corners...yeah...your house will smell like shit, and if you dont bathe them or clean their cage properly...then yeah, they will smell.

Much like if you were to yourself shit in the corners of your house, or if you were to habitually neglect caring for yourself your home and person would not smell good.

Personally i think their natural ferrety odor is very pleasing. But yes, their excrement does not have a pleasant odor.

[–]darcee1013 1 point2 points ago

Also, switching their food to one that doesn't contain fish meal will help with the shit smell significantly.

[–]Craigellachie 5 points6 points ago

Musk, the smell of the wild.

[–]paralacausa 2 points3 points ago

Time to musk up

[–]Rehauu 13 points14 points ago

Yeah, if you don't bathe them and clean their fucking cages and shit pans.

[–]mashan 19 points20 points ago

Actually if you bathe them, their skin secretes more oil which makes the smell stronger.

[–]Rehauu 9 points10 points ago

The trick is to bathe them but not too frequently and using a good ferret shampoo.

[–]colloquialism86 4 points5 points ago

It's got Aloe Vera, so you know it's good.

[–]Tebasaki 3 points4 points ago

It's got electrolytes?

[–]aekitten 3 points4 points ago

Our only get bathed when they get into something, like the fireplace or a full glass of milk.

[–]Rehauu 0 points1 point ago

Which is just about everyday, right? :P

[–]Joblesswhore 1 point2 points ago

Or let them dig in a tub of dirt, that works pretty damn well. They also have a helluva time doin it

[–]Rehauu 2 points3 points ago

Yep, that could work too. To be honest, I like ferret smell when they're not actually dirty, just their natural skin smell. It's no worse than dog smell, that's for sure.

[–]Joblesswhore 0 points1 point ago

Eh, I'm not a fan of it, just one of those smells that I just don't like. But my Gf loves them and I do think they are fun to play with so I just put up with it

[–]Bazing1980 1 point2 points ago

So do cats and dogs when not properly cared for.

[–]I_REMOVE_COCKS 5 points6 points ago

I don't know, I've just never seen a ferret and thought, "You know what, I want to be closer to that thing."

[–]bezerker03 2 points3 points ago

Dunno. I have 2. Barely smell. Adorable and cuddly.

:)

[–]Rryann 3 points4 points ago

That's just because you haven't tried it yet. They're awesome.

[–]Melnorme 0 points1 point ago

They feel like a smiley meat tube without the slime.

[–]steamed__hams -1 points0 points ago

Thank you for this information, I_REMOVE_COCKS.

[–]BaconIsFrance 7 points8 points ago

Nice marmot

[–]Shamrocker32[!] 2 points3 points ago

Obviously you're not a golfer.

[–]shiner_man 1 point2 points ago

How is this not the top comment? This place is really slipping.

[–]Brianne123 2 points3 points ago

You can almost see it yelling 'NO!!'

[–]pilvy 0 points1 point ago*

The sound I heard watching this gif

[–]ksjoho 6 points7 points ago

I can't give Pudge tuna!

[–]c2yoshi 2 points3 points ago

Pudge controls the weather.

[–]AlludingIllusion 2 points3 points ago

So you get irresistibly cute and lay on your back?

[–]handee_sandees 3 points4 points ago

Ferrets are fucking awesome

[–]Timett_son_of_Timett 7 points8 points ago

Here's a trick for you - write "EXPIRED - DO NOT THROW OUT" on the lid. No one will touch that shit.

[–]FindsTheBrightSide 5 points6 points ago

Well, my roommate's PB is fucked now. Here's to hoping that's why he wrote it on there and I don't die.

[–]Chucksta 1 point2 points ago

Peanut butter doesn't go bad. It spoils but it's still edible.

http://www.lifeslittlemysteries.com/83-can-peanut-butter-go-bad.html

[–]cz-cz-cz-czechitout 2 points3 points ago

I enjoy seeing a link that looks like it contains exactly what you asked google right in the URL. Makes me feel... cozy.

[–]Chucksta 0 points1 point ago

Lol, i know what you mean. I knew it before, but I felt as if I should provide a link.

[–]sandandpomp 4 points5 points ago

couldn't they just look at the expiration date printed on the jar?

[–]Timett_son_of_Timett 2 points3 points ago

Technically, yes. That's why you scratch it out if it was printed on the glass/plastic. Also, if I saw a jar of pb with expired written on it i'd hesitate even if the jar said otherwise... it isn't worth the trouble in my opinion.... I guess it depends on how determined/ballsy your roommates are.

[–]timothytandem 4 points5 points ago

If its expired why wouldn't you throw it out though.... If I saw something written that had expired on it I would throw it out. Doesn't PB have a really long expiration date anyway? Like half a year to a year?

I am a peanut butter fiend. Especially with honey, oh yummm.

[–]Timett_son_of_Timett 1 point2 points ago

I did this once - no one questioned (granted I went to art school) and no one ate it. If you have a rep for being a weird person people stop questioning the shit you do and begin accepting it as just a part of you. sneaky sneaky :)

[–]Vitalstatistix 1 point2 points ago

Or just "dead dove".

[–]IAmInAFrat 4 points5 points ago

So you try to do the cha cha slide and fail misreably?

[–]bamfsalad 0 points1 point ago

Slide to the left!

[–]tweak4ever 1 point2 points ago

Why's that snake all hairy?

[–]Indistractible 1 point2 points ago

Seriously. Eat the fucking steak and lobster if you want, but if I can't make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I'm hungry and lazy, shit is going down.

[–]phoenix7782 0 points1 point ago

I am allergic to peanuts. WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?

[–]ninjasenses 1 point2 points ago

In the office, having trouble holding back the laughs...

[–]gonz0 1 point2 points ago

That ferret looks like a possum.

[–]BobsPineapplePants 1 point2 points ago

aww, makes me miss my ferret.

[–]omerb 1 point2 points ago

When he first opens his mouth the peanut butter jar slides back... in their tongue he is DOVAH'KIN

[–]Micr0waveMan 1 point2 points ago

a jif within a gif

[–]Hank_Scorpio_77 1 point2 points ago

.....Whatshouldwecallme.blogspot.

Not to be the typical angry post (which this will be), but it seems like Reddit is turning into a girl's Facebook page with all these reaction images.

[–]pilvy 1 point2 points ago

The sound I heard watching this gif

[–]beeUnit 1 point2 points ago

I haven't laughed this hard at a gif in a long time. Thanks!

[–]bmacc 1 point2 points ago

I have not laughed that hard upon waking from a nap, ever. So fucking funny.

[–]Brickfrigid 1 point2 points ago

I think this deserves to be on /aww. That thing is cute as fuck

[–]theENTomologist 2 points3 points ago

Thought that said "When I discover the roommates ARE my peanut butter"

This is what happens when I wander too far from r/trees.

[–]WeldingMouse 1 point2 points ago

Ferret Lick! So cute.

[–]omgpokemans 1 point2 points ago

Weasel war dance!

[–]corpsefireNL 1 point2 points ago

reminds me of the time my uncle had been telling me that ferrets couldn't jump as I was bathing my weasel. Right after he had said that the was a nuclear wessel flying towards him to escape the water. Rather hilarious.

[–]spikeydogcollar 2 points3 points ago

LOVE that clip! Upvote for you, good sir!

[–]padrock 0 points1 point ago

Thought the title said "When I discover the roommates are all peanut butter." My reaction would be similar.

[–]classicscot 0 points1 point ago

My reaction to no more toilet paper with my roommate

[–]daltonmc 0 points1 point ago

You can't be one of those "this is mine, this is yours" roommates. That'll only cause strife. You share a space and you should be communal about most things (i.e. not toothbrushes or body towels). If they eat your peanut butter, say, "oh, well, I'll buy more." If they do it again, ask them nicely to buy the next jar. A reasonable person will gladly acquiesce. If they don't and make a big deal about it, you might consider finding different roommates.

[–]guntfuddler 0 points1 point ago

I would most enjoy to see this happen

[–]stugots84 0 points1 point ago

Hope you guys don't have a dog....or there might be something FAR different going on there.

[–]kluda06 0 points1 point ago

Peanut butter you crazy! -the ferret

[–]gmz_88 0 points1 point ago

THIS ISN'T YOU!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

http://i.imgur.com/BgjTs.gif

[–]dinosoreloser 0 points1 point ago

Does anyone know the video this is from? I've always wanted to see it

[–]porkchops4ever 0 points1 point ago

Where the fuck is the switcharoo? Damnit!

[–]Adhab 0 points1 point ago

That would be what I'd look like if I ate any peanut butter...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Who ate Bob Dole's peanut butter?

[–]cycophuk 0 points1 point ago

Ferrets are awesome. That is all.

[–]brussels4breakfast 0 points1 point ago

Why is it spazzin' out?

[–]astub15 0 points1 point ago

That is one weird cat.

[–]i_love_younicorns 0 points1 point ago

you're a ferret?

[–]Icebot 0 points1 point ago

I wish I could see the actual video, it looks like the ferret barks at the beginning, I would like to experience that.

[–]aekitten 2 points3 points ago

Their noise is usually referred to as chuckling or dooking. It's ridiculously adorable.

[–]ESPguitarist 0 points1 point ago

This is so forced.

[–]stupernan 0 points1 point ago

i've solved this issue on TWO different occasions

eye drops my friends... their assholes will rue the day that they tried to eat your food.

[–]Crodface 0 points1 point ago

My god we are trying so hard to come up with scenarios to fit every gif or picture. So many "my face when..." or "me when..." posts recently. This one seems forced.

[–]bmlbytes 0 points1 point ago

This is why I chose a roommate that was allergic to peanuts.

[–]dirmer3 0 points1 point ago

That's how my SO reacts to having roommates.

[–]BajczTheDamned 0 points1 point ago

What is this delightful creature, and where do I get one?

[–]LondanX 0 points1 point ago

I laughed out loud by myself like and idiot. Owner of two ferrets. Wish I could give you all the upvotes.

[–]hansthecleverhorse 0 points1 point ago

Who ate Bob Dole's peanut butter? PEANUT BUTTER!

[–]yeahmaybe 0 points1 point ago

I imagine one of two scenarios: you must not use your peanut butter very often or your roommates use way too much of it at a time.

[–]SaintsAngels 0 points1 point ago

dude, peanut butter is expensive, this shit aint no fuckin' joke

[–]Virindi 0 points1 point ago

The first 30 seconds are relevant.

[–]YELL_EVERYTHING 0 points1 point ago

JEEZE I THOUGHT MY BOU WAS A FAT FERRET... AND A PSYCHO. YOURS BEATS MINE ON BOTH ACCOUNTS.

[–]sandandpomp -1 points0 points ago

I'm the same with mayonnaise. One does not simply eat a dry sandwhich.

[–]Gracen 2 points3 points ago

My brother and cousin both hate mayonnaise and I will never truly understand how they can tolerate a sandwich much less enjoy one..seriously. Couple of freaks.

[–]sandandpomp 2 points3 points ago

One MUST question the sanity of a person who eats a sandwhich without mayonnaise or similar substance. Just mustard will... not cut the mustard.

[–]yetanotherx 1 point2 points ago

I'm really strange apparently.... no mayo or mustard, but ranch instead.

[–]drunk3nmonky 0 points1 point ago

that is acceptable

[–]sandandpomp 0 points1 point ago

not for me, but I think it's creamy enough.

[–]layzer253 -2 points-1 points ago

I only eat my sandwhichs dry. I find most condiments disgusting.

[–]sandandpomp 2 points3 points ago

And now I find you disgusting.

[–]Nopity_Nope 0 points1 point ago

How do you live with yourself?

[–]garythecoconut -1 points0 points ago

That ferret is so fat that I thought it was a opossum for a second! Get that thing on a treadmill!

[–]supkristin -1 points0 points ago

Upvote because I'm eating peanut butter at my desk RIGHT NOW.

[–]TerrorTabby -1 points0 points ago

You turn into a ferret?

[–]NueDumaz -1 points0 points ago

That is one fat little fugger.
Don't even know what it is, but I know it's fat.

[–]rrtaylor -1 points0 points ago

What the hell even is that thing?!

[–]atlr3ality -1 points0 points ago

your a ferret?

[–]LOVES_TO_SPLOOGE69 -1 points0 points ago

so ur epileptic? wtf does that reaction even mean??

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