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all 121 comments

[–]x20mike07x 55 points56 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ghostly5150 16 points17 points ago

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My stomach had a rumbling only hands could satisfy

[–]WombatHerder 5 points6 points ago

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It was horrible, your mouth unhinged like a snake.

[–]x20mike07x 4 points5 points ago

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Wow that sounds pretty awesome.

[–]Mikeman3561 0 points1 point ago

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oh god. ones missing a leg

[–]sebdef 2 points3 points ago

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I don't know why this is so funny

[–]Mr_Nice_Guy615[S] 151 points152 points ago

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UPDATE: The body has been identified. Here is an artist's rendering of the events leading up to the attack.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FsHxrVBL_jg/Ts5XKkMQs-I/AAAAAAAAUrM/ANo6FDkJw00/s1600/coca+cola+polar+bear+and+Santa.jpg

[–]Phelms215 10 points11 points ago

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Maybe this is why Coke picked red for their logo's color?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Andrew_Jay 8 points9 points ago

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Santa wears red so that if he is mauled by a polar bear, the sight of the blood won't cause the elves and reindeer to panic.

[–]morgansb 1 point2 points ago

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"It's a common misconception that Santa wears a red coat because red is the color of Coca-Cola. In fact, Santa appeared in a red coat before artist Haddon Sundblom painted him for Coca-Cola advertising."
- Source: http://www.thecoca-colacompany.com/heritage/cokelore_santa.html

[–]Aknot 6 points7 points ago

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Did he try to run away and undress at the same time?

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]Mr_Nice_Guy615[S] 5 points6 points ago

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Awww... I'll try harder next time! I promise!

[–]Daved400 2 points3 points ago

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Mind if I ask what he said? His comment is already deleted, 50 minutes after he posted it.

[–]Mr_Nice_Guy615[S] 6 points7 points ago

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he said:

Is this a joke? Cause if it's a joke, it's not funny.

Or something along those lines.

[–]OmarLobster 2 points3 points ago

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I swear, even a polar bear can't kill baby seals without pissing off someone. What has the world become?

[–]Daved400 3 points4 points ago

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Ah, I wish some people would keep their mouths shut sometimes, not to say I haven't done it before though, so I guess I should shut my mouth too.

[–]nupoorsa 44 points45 points ago

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[–]pieguyfry22 8 points9 points ago

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This could be a preface to what happened in OP's pic

[–]Wawski 0 points1 point ago

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I hear this in the cutest, raspiest, child voice.

[–]Briskula 20 points21 points ago

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Am I the only one who still finds them adorable?

[–]cobrahh 4 points5 points ago

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Nope. I do too, covered in blood or otherwise. :)

[–]MagicalTrevor09 7 points8 points ago

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The smiley face at the end of that sentence scares me.

[–]cobrahh 1 point2 points ago

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I'm glad.

[–]thattallfellow 14 points15 points ago

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Out there in the cold!

[–]TheWinrar 13 points14 points ago

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Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me?

[–]Mr_Nice_Guy615[S] 13 points14 points ago

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Hey you! Standing in the aisle with itchy feet and fading smiles, can you feel me?

[–]TheWinrar 5 points6 points ago

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Hey you, don't help them to bury the light. Don't give in without a fight.

[–]IAmtheHullabaloo -3 points-2 points ago*

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Hey you! Standing in the aisles. With itchy feet and fading smiles, can you feel me?

Edit: Fut the wuck people, y'all know this is the next line in the song right?

[–]Cereal_Grapist 5 points6 points ago

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Yea but I think you got down votes for posting almost a half hour after op

[–]JLow1864 4 points5 points ago

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[–]servohahn 0 points1 point ago

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I'm honestly surprised that this is only the 5th time this has been frontpaged.

[–]Mr_Nice_Guy615[S] -3 points-2 points ago

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Sounds like they are offering 3x the amount! That's quite the bargain. Thanks for stopping by though!

[–]chetter44 3 points4 points ago

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Finally a picture of polar bears with blood, they have been Disneylandifed

[–]pontiusx 2 points3 points ago

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I really wish there was more death on shows like planet earth. badass animals killing other animals is just fucking cool.

[–]Terwat 1 point2 points ago

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On frozen planet, seeing the seal get dragged off the ice to its impending doom. Amazing shot.

[–]DidntGetJoke 5 points6 points ago

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I think when your nose starts to bleed like that, you've had enough coke.

[–]Chris741 4 points5 points ago

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It took me awhile to find the text on the bottom.

[–]IPlayTheGuitar 3 points4 points ago

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R.I.P. Seal.

[–]Goodygreg 2 points3 points ago

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I laughed way to long at this considering I just up voted the shit out of a picture of a baby seal.

[–]JesusWuta40oz 2 points3 points ago

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Ok, I had to laugh at this.

[–]Faps_Into_Socks 2 points3 points ago

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I_DRINK_PERIOD_BLOOD and friends.

[–]I_am_a_BalbC 11 points12 points ago

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Sure! I'm always thirsty after I've been *clubbing. . . *

[–]sebdef 1 point2 points ago

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"You're in the wrong neighborhood mother-fucker"

[–]Bazing1980 1 point2 points ago

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You fucking owe me for that Karma mother fucker.

[–]DramaQueen14 1 point2 points ago

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Haha I was joking. Just bein dumb

[–]maxisawesome 1 point2 points ago

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This is the first thing this whole week that made me laugh so hard I started to sweat

[–]CoolMoose 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Harvpup 2 points3 points ago

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Fucking ADORABLE!!!

[–]ArboristCook 1 point2 points ago

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I think it was the "mother fucker" that really pushed my smirk to the max.

Thanks, mother fucker.

[–]literal_reply_guy -1 points0 points ago

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My brain made 'whole' into "whoooole" for me, which just tipped me over the edge.

[–]Hermeran 1 point2 points ago

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That was... unexpected.

[–]newtothelyte 1 point2 points ago

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You should cross-post this in /r/aww. They would love this.

[–]Mr_Nice_Guy615[S] -1 points0 points ago

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CONSIDER IT DONE!

[–]DCTiger5 1 point2 points ago

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Im assuming everyone else also read this is a new york accent.

[–]xSorcha 0 points1 point ago

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sad but true

[–]Punkrocker333 1 point2 points ago

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REEEEEEPOOOOOOST!

[–]Mr_Nice_Guy615[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Yes I believe we have established that.

[–]Punkrocker333 0 points1 point ago

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Sorry.

[–]returnofdoom 0 points1 point ago

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I don't get the Coke reference.

[–]Ianoren 0 points1 point ago

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D'AWWWWWW so cute!!

[–]Italian07 0 points1 point ago

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After watching the documentary "Earth" this picture actually makes me happy seeing as they found food.

[–]reaverdude 0 points1 point ago

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yes

[–]powerchicken 0 points1 point ago

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Please tell me that is the carcass of a seal, and not a torn-apart person with a visible boot that happens to not be red...
Actually, now that I think about it, I don't care either way.

[–]iseverythingok 0 points1 point ago

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That's actually a nose bleed.

[–]TotallyNotAPenguin 0 points1 point ago

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Those fucking polar bears are dangerous, man. They're DANGEROUS.

[–]fwipo 0 points1 point ago

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Aren't they just adorable?

[–]funkydo 0 points1 point ago

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Call me a pussy but if tht's human remains it just got real.

[–]Jani3D 0 points1 point ago

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Every time I see this I have to read it out load to myself like twice before trying to up-vote more.

[–]lookieausername 0 points1 point ago

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That must be cherry coke (walks over) AAAAAAAGH!! IT ISN'T CHERRY COKE!! (gruesome sounds) MY LEGS! OH GOD MY LEGS!

[–]paint4splatter 0 points1 point ago

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not really NSFW

[–]Baldrick666 0 points1 point ago

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Hey! Hey! Listen!

[–]dhusselbee 0 points1 point ago

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Whatcha thinking about?

[–]Chiii 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, sure. How kind of you.

[–]dreadredheadzedsdead 0 points1 point ago

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Polar bears are pretty fucking metal.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Hey you! Out there in the cold, getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me?!

[–]Atersed 0 points1 point ago

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Coke? More like PCP.

[–]mark636199 0 points1 point ago

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Did anyone else read this in Samuel Jacksons voice?

[–]chispp 0 points1 point ago*

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Good thing they don't know we're destroying their natural ecosystem

[–]ATONAT 0 points1 point ago

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You've got red on you.

[–]azazelthegoat 0 points1 point ago

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Thats a human!?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]BangSlut 5 points6 points ago

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If so, hopefully they had a large carbon footprint.

[–]dizzaray 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like a seal to me.

[–]TheVenetianMask -1 points0 points ago

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Nope. Check the shape of the cranium and the packed torso muscles. Definitely a seal.

[–]RAPPING_FOR_KARMA -1 points0 points ago

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There went Santa
The jolly old man
Straight to his death
Fat motherfucker shoulda ran.

[–]ManHoFerSnow -1 points0 points ago

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I sent this to my ex who insists they are the cutest things alive

[–]carl1984 -1 points0 points ago

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JUICE !!

[–]trex88 -1 points0 points ago

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how much for one crack rock?

[–]sazuki3000 -1 points0 points ago

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Dammit I am drinking a Coke.

[–]Nj_all_day -1 points0 points ago

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Upvoted for not saying "Am I doing this right?"

[–]joebiff4 -1 points0 points ago

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This is why I never eat my girlfriend out before labor day...

[–]kramtronix -1 points0 points ago

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bwahahaha - I just busted the fuck out laughing.

[–]aryst0krat -1 points0 points ago

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No more!

[–]Psychodelli -1 points0 points ago

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Out there in the cold getting lonely, getting o-OH SHIT!

[–]xSorcha 0 points1 point ago

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get outta my head!

[–]I_Am_Not_An_Expert -3 points-2 points ago

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I think they have meth over there, actually

[–]snowtroopin -2 points-1 points ago

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This is my favorite!

[–]DramaQueen14 -3 points-2 points ago

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Poor penguin :(

[–]godmoderage 0 points1 point ago

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It was a guy, actually. You can see some skin.