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all 158 comments

[–]thenewaddition 91 points92 points ago

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If you've never met a llama you might think this sign bizarre and humorous. Llamas are dicks.

[–]meangrampa 29 points30 points ago

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And they'll spit in your face just for fun.

[–]MNico 25 points26 points ago

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This is probably why the sign is there. It's basically saying "Don't retaliate."

Fuck. That. I would uppercut a llama without a second thought if it spat on me.

[–]Godhand_Phemto 5 points6 points ago

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Pretty brave punching a llama when hes behind a fence, try it while hes able to get you back. Human vs Most Animals (Hand to Hand) = Your fucked.

[–]dundeedan 14 points15 points ago

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Most animals? Fuck that. I feel confident I could successfully take on at least 62% of the animal kingdom in one-on-one situations.

[–]PancakeTune 28 points29 points ago

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Yeah bro! Kick the shit out of that ant! FUCK IT UP

[–]dundeedan 3 points4 points ago

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^ This guys knows it.

[–]ChaosDesigned 5 points6 points ago

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Fuck Butterflies, Rabbits, Frogs, Small dogs, Various domesticated lizards, sloths, turtles, koala's, they don't stand a chance. There is a reason we're at the top of the food chain!

[–]JesusSavesAtWalMart 6 points7 points ago*

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Yeah, you think you're a badass taking on all the little creatures... Until HORNETS! Hornets will fuck you up!

[–]ChaosDesigned 5 points6 points ago

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Not if you challenge them at a Bob Marley Concert. Hornets hate smoke.

[–]Aziral 0 points1 point ago

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I got drunk one night and punched a hornet out of the air before I proceeded to run back into the bar screaming like a girl.

[–]amolad 0 points1 point ago

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Chuck Norris vs Any Animal Who Ever Lived = well, you know....

[–]Imadoc91 0 points1 point ago

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chuck norris fillets?

[–]meangrampa -2 points-1 points ago

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Lama's are dicks.

[–]Dustin- 1 point2 points ago

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And they have a craving that only hands can satisfy.

[–]Spayorneuteryourkids 15 points16 points ago

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Llamas are dicks. Fuck that sign.

[–]Gamoc 7 points8 points ago

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I had a llama come over for dinner once. It was awful.

[–]Breakdowns_FTW 4 points5 points ago

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I am a llama, and can confirm that we're dicks.

[–]Gamoc 2 points3 points ago

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You can't all be dicks, that seems impractical.

[–]afellowinfidel 4 points5 points ago

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some are cunts.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]SpermWhale 2 points3 points ago

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Hey llama tell you something.

[–]Merba_Yate 2 points3 points ago

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Se llama llama

[–]Gamoc 1 point2 points ago

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Exactly, how else would they breed!?

[–]joefizzlefoshizzle 4 points5 points ago

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I am a dick and i can confirm that llamas are me

[–]_Relevant_Username 2 points3 points ago

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Llamas are dicks, but let's be honest, ostriches are the real assholes of petting zoos. I saw a kid freak out and slap one at a drive through zoo once. The thing wouldn't get its head out of his car window so he flips out, slaps it twice and sternly yells "NO, ostrich...I said NO."

[–]Red0rWhite 1 point2 points ago

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Drive through zoo? I have been doing this all wrong. Getting around and walking to look at the caged animals. Is this a real thing or a new feature at McD's?

[–]_Relevant_Username 0 points1 point ago

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It's technically called a safari I suppose. We have them in the south a lot. Zebras, llamas, ostriches, etc.

[–]Red0rWhite 0 points1 point ago

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Gotcha! Do the animals wander around the car? Can't imagine that would be great for a new set of wheels.

[–]OP_karma_whores 0 points1 point ago

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OP has still never met a llama. Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
Theres a reason that sign is there 5coms 22pts 22dys funny

source: karmadecay

[–]Night_Hawk3201 60 points61 points ago

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No wonder Carl stabbed that guy 37 Times in the chest... Then fried and ate his hands...

[–]Varnishedchrome 18 points19 points ago

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But his stomach was making the rumblies that only hand could satisfy!

[–]Princepip -5 points-4 points ago

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Many years ago A young Carl sits in his pen at the zoo. SUDDENLY A wild human appears! Human used PUNCH! Human escaped. Young Carl: REVENGE!!!!!!!

[–]SirCuntsalot 34 points35 points ago

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Caaaaaaarrrrrrllllllllllll

[–]NotTheStalker 0 points1 point ago

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I honestly came here to say "But caaarrl"

[–]DeHussey 4 points5 points ago

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I don't believe you

[–]pjeff61 1 point2 points ago

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I don't believe that you don't believe him

[–]saywee123 18 points19 points ago

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This is one of those situations where it is unfortunate that reverse psychology can be such a powerful influence.

[–]devourke 17 points18 points ago

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I thought he had a black eye at first

[–]biohazardvictim 24 points25 points ago

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Why? WERE YOU PLANNING ON PUNCHING THE LLAMAS? SHAME ON YOU!

[–]blonderocker 15 points16 points ago

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I wasn't planning on it, bro.

The dude spit in my face!

[–]cramped 8 points9 points ago

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Don't judge me.

[–]thedevinosorio -1 points0 points ago

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Happy Birthday My Nigga.

[–]I_Bent_My_Wookie 13 points14 points ago

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Maybe it's all those old-school Winamp users wanting to "whip the Llamas' ass"

[–]KingotWinterCarnival 1 point2 points ago

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That was my first thought, that was my favorite part of winamp.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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"Well kids, there comes a time in everyone's life when someone puts up a sign because of something you did"

[–]ZeroNihilist 1 point2 points ago

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I've travelled the world, leaving a trail of "Don't walk on the grass" signs in my wake. I'm a rebel.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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"Game tables" were disallowed in campus dorms after my freshman year thanks to me and my friends.

Sorry to everyone who couldn't get a pool, ping-pong, or other sort of table afterwards...

[–]GexGecko 6 points7 points ago

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Damn it Schwarzenegger!

[–]oldgrumpyman 2 points3 points ago

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Ah that Conan. Have an upvote for the cake day, bro.

[–]Fap_Slap 6 points7 points ago

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I worked at a safari last summer, and was doing tours on a boat. Saw some kids throwing rocks at our Australian Black Swans. Those fuckers....

[–]Honestly_ 6 points7 points ago

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This is a bit off topic, but you reminded me of the story: I had an elementary school teacher who had previously worked on the Jungle Cruise at Disneyland as a guide on the riverboat-on-tracks. He mentioned that guides generally hated the part of the script where they would scare off an animatronic hippo with a cap gun; when one of his coworkers decided to quit he decided to do so in spectacular fashion by jumping off the boat and attacking the hippo mid-cruise with tourists watching in tow. It must've been the late '70s or early-80s, how I wish there were photos online.

[–]just_bob 2 points3 points ago

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[–]mandace1 8 points9 points ago

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Now that you mention it, that llama could use a good punching.

[–]mormontroll 18 points19 points ago

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[–]Timebomb3822 3 points4 points ago

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Punch the llama they said!

No one will notice they said...

[–]Brosabi 0 points1 point ago

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This gave me a good laugh and I'm sad you don't have more up votes

[–]Timebomb3822 0 points1 point ago

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It's all good.

Just hope they don't let Chris Brown in this zoo.

He already has a history of punching llamas

[–]rudolphenstein 11 points12 points ago

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I fucking hate llamas.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Yeah, I'm all about being kind to animals, but I could see myself punching a llama. Those fuckers.

[–]MaliciousLama 2 points3 points ago

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I hate you too Rudoph Enstein

[–]DiscountLlama 1 point2 points ago

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:(

[–]jrs22789 2 points3 points ago

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But alpacas? Go ahead. Those guys are assholes.

[–]Breakdowns_FTW 0 points1 point ago

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Come to think of it, their faces do look an awful lot like they've been punched hard in the nose and are wincing in pain. That, and they're perpetually scrunched up.

[–]impossiber -2 points-1 points ago

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But I hear they PACA-punch, so you better watch out

[–]ManiacalLaugh 5 points6 points ago

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[–]Putyourragefaceon 2 points3 points ago

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reads "Do not punch th- WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THIS?"

[–]LlamaHunter 2 points3 points ago

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Why punch when you can shoot?

[–]end42 9 points10 points ago

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REAL men shoot things with their FISTS

[–]YoSanford 2 points3 points ago

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[–]mocotazo 2 points3 points ago

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"You gotta punch the pony right in the face."

[–]AintGettinDatKarma 1 point2 points ago

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Just look at that smug motherfuckers face.

He's asking for it.

[–]Blunkus 1 point2 points ago

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Tina you fat lard!!! Eat the FOOD!!!

[–]Tri_Sara_Tops 1 point2 points ago

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What kind of a monster would punch a llama in the first place!?

[–]bigcitycrows 1 point2 points ago

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The place where I volunteer does falconry demonstrations. It's sad that the falconer has to make the "do not jump up in the air and swat my falcon out of the sky when she flies over you" announcement every time, but it's actually happened before.

[–]framk 1 point2 points ago

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This made me sad.

[–]CarbonKaiser 1 point2 points ago

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I'm pretty sure there's some misunderstanding going on. I, for one, pet animals with my fists.

[–]Glu-e 1 point2 points ago

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See, someone had to have punched the llama (which sounds like a euphemism) and I can only assume that he is forever haunted by that sign. Never again can he return to the zoo to see the animals he hates.

[–]Burma9 1 point2 points ago

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Someone told me it's All happening at the zoo...

[–]Dzerzhinsky 1 point2 points ago

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When I was 13 I did work experience as a greens keeper on a golf course. Right next to the course was a stable, and on my first day we were driving past it when one of the employees I was with asked "do you like horses?", "not really" I responded, and so he promptly stretched out and punched a horse in the head as we went by.

The moral of the story is, you never know when some dick is going to punch your animal in the head, so you had better get out ahead of them and put up a sign.

[–]tonythetiger1 1 point2 points ago

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You don't expect to see that sign...until the Llama hocks a nice big loogey in someone's face and they lose it.

[–]mysticdickstick 0 points1 point ago

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I'd tiger-uppercut the shit out of a yama if it spits at me and i'm close enough.

[–]meantism 1 point2 points ago

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fucking hate yamas

[–]mysticdickstick 1 point2 points ago

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lol...thats exactly how i read it... and i dont even speak spanish.

[–]Casterly 1 point2 points ago

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People who don't punch their llamas make me sick!

[–]csgoodri 1 point2 points ago

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Scumbag Petting Zoo Attendee: Punches animals instead of petting.

[–]SecretBlogon 1 point2 points ago

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I wonder how many times the Llama had to be punched before they decided to put this sign up.

[–]Vaginal_Scrapings 1 point2 points ago

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Apparently Chris Brown visited earlier.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Rihlamma.

[–]dickralph 1 point2 points ago

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True story; I was detained at a zoo for punching a zebra. I went to pat it and it bit me, my gut instinct was to slug it.

[–]pepperman7 1 point2 points ago

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When the animals start doing this it's a natural reaction.

[–]allied14 0 points1 point ago

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How many times do you think that happened before they had to put up a sign?

[–]AnalogDigit2 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, I mean what kind of a zoo prohibits llama punching?

[–]Taterpugg 0 points1 point ago

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"Do Something!"

[–]HamsterChucker 0 points1 point ago

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The sign only makes me want to punch llamas even more!

[–]hypoid77 0 points1 point ago

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Where is the video of someone punching a llama?

[–]Godolin 0 points1 point ago

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He started it.

[–]SquareBomb 0 points1 point ago

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Someone clearly didn't enjoy this song.

[–]Just_Says_Poop 0 points1 point ago

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it is especially a bad idea to punch the llamas while they are pooping

[–]listentobillyzane 0 points1 point ago

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They just have those kind of faces...

[–]goffer54 0 points1 point ago

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hahahaha! hahaha! ha...ha... wait? SOMEONE PUNCHED A LLAMA!? HE DESERVES DEATH!

[–]AguyWithflippyHair 0 points1 point ago

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Too late. The llama got what he deserved.

[–]yrogerg123 0 points1 point ago

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But look at how punchable his face is. Not fair.

[–]popquizmf 0 points1 point ago

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All I'm saying is that someone is a real asshole.

[–]Amplify108 0 points1 point ago

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Who punches llamas?

[–]MBuddah 0 points1 point ago

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blast them with your spinfusor I AM THE GREATEST

[–]Gravity_Cube 0 points1 point ago

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Damnit! How'd they know!?!

[–]FroRage 0 points1 point ago

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Normally I wouldn't want to punch a llama. But now i have a might need.

[–]Sentient545 0 points1 point ago

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It just makes them angry.

[–]ICouldBeTheChosenOne 0 points1 point ago

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I read that as "Do not lunch the ppamas."

[–]authorless 0 points1 point ago

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I don't want to punch them, I just want to take them down Las Palmas to Colorado then on to Pico.

[–]ballsballsballz 0 points1 point ago

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It only takes one, to ruin our fun.

[–]JMile69 0 points1 point ago

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I thought that was the whole reason we had llamas?

[–]clickitie_click 0 points1 point ago

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I love how defeated the llama looks. As though it's been punched far too frequently.

[–]JohnBohlken09 0 points1 point ago

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Found this from a little google image search

[–]mightyknothead 0 points1 point ago

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Is it just me, or does this llama look like Clint Eastwood?

[–]TeaSkier 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Nenor 0 points1 point ago

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Indeed. Why not punch them?

[–]hannahwartooth 0 points1 point ago

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Can someone please, please Photoshop this llama to have a black eye?

[–]rtilde 0 points1 point ago

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They already 'shopped the sign, why 'shop it anymore?

[–]daveinsf 0 points1 point ago

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Llama punching bastards; why we can't have anything nice.

[–]anihilistlol 0 points1 point ago

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Who the fuck punches llamas? Dumb cunts.

[–]Pit_of_Death 0 points1 point ago

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Llamas...and also geese. I'll destroy them all!

[–]fallencathedral 0 points1 point ago

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No promises...

[–]ThatBassIsFishy 0 points1 point ago

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The funny thing is, for them to think a sign was necessary, quite a few llamas must of been punched.

[–]Demos181 0 points1 point ago

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This makes me sad. Someone get me an emergency supply of kittens!

[–]daftpunk34 0 points1 point ago

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The llama looks so sad :(

[–]klousGT 0 points1 point ago

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You haven't met many Llama have you?

[–]AspiringShvatza 0 points1 point ago

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Didn't you know punching bags are made of 73% llama?

[–]12288 0 points1 point ago

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Surprisingly effective once you realize those llamas are fucking assholes.

[–]Truedarkness57 0 points1 point ago

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my pal actually punched one of those fuckers because it spat on him

[–]vodkamutini 0 points1 point ago

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can someone from r/firstworldanarchists please do their duty

[–]YoSanford 0 points1 point ago

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This is sad, and really more wtf worthy.

[–]PackieIX 0 points1 point ago

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did you expect to see it at the aquarium?

[–]nmezib 0 points1 point ago

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I'd like to think that that llama has a black eye.

[–]QuiteKid 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't expect to see that in Arial Black. Shoop shoop shooped.

[–]bobcat_08 0 points1 point ago

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Now they're just putting thoughts in my head.

[–]Domhnall7 0 points1 point ago

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this is from HIMYM

[–]skeletor100 0 points1 point ago

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Where is this? I am very tempted to say somewhere in Scotland.

[–]zarawesome 0 points1 point ago

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I promise nothing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Rocky had to start somewhere

[–]noobar 0 points1 point ago

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If there's a sign someone has probably already done it.

[–]WarlordGurkha 0 points1 point ago

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How I met your mother. Good screen shot.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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My friend's neighbor had a Llama, I wanted to punch it, Llamas are assholes.

[–]rawrc 0 points1 point ago

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But that's the whole reason I went to the zoo in the first place!

[–]GuidelineDailyAmount 0 points1 point ago

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It's a common problem for some people, I have a similar issue with some trees, when I see them I have strange urge to hug them. Other people have urges to punch things. Big whoop, wanna fight about it?

[–]WeaverXIII 0 points1 point ago

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Yes, you can punch the animals. Just don't punch the llamas.

[–]livejamie 0 points1 point ago

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THIS MOTHERFUCKING LLAMMA I'M GOING TO PUNCH IT RIG.. reads sign Oh, well... nevermind.

[–]angryxpeh 0 points1 point ago

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Must be Oakland Zoo.

[–]saysoneword 0 points1 point ago

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Tempting...

[–]CdnRazer 0 points1 point ago

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Llamas spit people, the next logical step for most people would be to punch who spat on them. Therefore the sign is logical.

[–]Krakmuffin 0 points1 point ago

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Is that gonna be the new thing? Punch a Llama day?

Except it'll be a hipster holiday.

"Nah, kicking gingers is way too mainstream.." flips hair/adjusts lens-less frames "..but punching llamas in the face? THAT'S where the party's at."

[–]cojafoji 2 points3 points ago

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Good, cause this ginger would pick you up and throw you in with the llamas if you tried to kick him.

"Never attack that which can throw you into a llama pit." - My dying grandfather's last words.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]cojafoji 0 points1 point ago

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You sound a little butt frustrated. Are you upset because you're actually a beta pretending to be an alpha? Shit, you might even be a charlie. Not even good enough to be a beta... It's ok little buddy.

[–]Nongosu -1 points0 points ago

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[–]uRprobablyagay -1 points0 points ago

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DO NOT DONKEY PUNCH THE LLAMAS

[–]PotterSauce -1 points0 points ago

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[–]joebillybob -1 points0 points ago

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...damn.

[–]jeffha3 -2 points-1 points ago

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Someone should punch you for reposting content.