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all 113 comments

[–]datcrack 212 points213 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]mc66a 69 points70 points ago

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I really need to get around to using this. I just need someone to care about me being in bed naked.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]SinisterKid 14 points15 points ago

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Jenny?

[–]robocop12 19 points20 points ago

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Jennay, is that you Jennay?

[–]joshsalvi 0 points1 point ago

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Jenny's got a gun!

[–]SparklepireBETCH -2 points-1 points ago

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Tom? ಠ_ಠ

[–]junkmanuk 11 points12 points ago

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Mom, Dad - Get off Reddit you're embarrassing me.

[–]AngryEnt 21 points22 points ago

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Keep them busy. I'm wanking in the other room.

Here's the twist: I'm not a relative.

[–]mb86 8 points9 points ago

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Being naked at work isn't enough?

(I appear to have you tagged as "Masturbates at work")

[–]Jeffrey7s 3 points4 points ago

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I'm sure it wouldn't surprise your coworkers too much so you'd have to find someone else.

[–]SmokinDynamite 2 points3 points ago

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YOU MASTURBATE AT WORK! Québecois Bro!

[–]Neomisbahk1 1 point2 points ago

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For those who are wondering, in the industry we call that the "pubes all up in my lens" shot.

[–]bertolt 0 points1 point ago

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How was that done?

[–]Razer1103 5 points6 points ago

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Materials needed:

        Smartphone, brain, working thumbs

 

Instructions:

  1. Go in dark room; any darkness will do fine.

  2. Press the button with a camera on it

  3. Take a picture

  4. ...

  5. Profit?

[–]spritle6054 7 points8 points ago

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Why bother going to a dark room? Just cover the lens with your finger.

[–]Razer1103 6 points7 points ago

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Like I said, any darkness should do fine.

[–]SparklepireBETCH 0 points1 point ago

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You totally know there's something freak-tastic goin' on in that darkness, bro.

[–]3Jane_goes_to_Earth 52 points53 points ago

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Reminds me of the time I had to take my cat to the vet to get a fox bite looked at (he was fine, he's a tough cookie)...

I think that was the only time I ever sent my family pictures of my shaved pussy.

[–]Yargyarg 45 points46 points ago

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You think that was the only time you sent your family pictures of your shaved pussy?

[–]David_Copperfuck 28 points29 points ago

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Alcohol's a hell of a drug.

[–]divinesleeper 13 points14 points ago

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If my cat stole my phone it would just order tons of cat food and boxes.

[–]FakingLiteracy 83 points84 points ago*

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That cat is a dirty whore.

[–]I_REMOVE_COCKS 25 points26 points ago

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Put on some clothes, slut!

[–]I_hijack_threads 26 points27 points ago

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For God's sake put an NSFW tag on this shit. I was browsing and my boss peeked up from behind me. Almost got me fired.

[–]keredomo 5 points6 points ago

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i bet your boss was all, "MREOWWW HISSS!!!"

man, you're gonna be in such shit!

[–]PSUProud 3 points4 points ago

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Are you sure you didn't almost get fired for being on Reddit?

[–]michaelje0 2 points3 points ago

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whoosh

[–]legalizemarinara 9 points10 points ago

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..you just wanted an excuse to use bold and italics at the same time

[–]michaelje0 14 points15 points ago

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Honestly, that was pretty exciting.

[–]PSUProud 7 points8 points ago

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Double whoosh?

I got the joke. Was just adding my own humor.

[–]michaelje0 4 points5 points ago

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It seems the 'woosh' is upon me, then! The tables have turned!

[–]factoid_ 6 points7 points ago

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You missed an opportunity there for a legendary Triple Whoosh!

[–]michaelje0 4 points5 points ago

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Now my head is spinning.

[–]Alpha_Q 1 point2 points ago

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Nice pussy, though!

[–]spiraldroid 8 points9 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]lavii 3 points4 points ago

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Did you.. use Instagram.. on a text screenshot?

[–]JTTTdude 7 points8 points ago

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Joke's on you, I'm fucking your cat.

[–]TomSmithy23 0 points1 point ago

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[–]DoesntFearZeus 1 point2 points ago

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She's mine! You can't have her!

[–]SomeMetroid 0 points1 point ago

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I_RAPE_CATS?

[–]2parties1cup 3 points4 points ago

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This was all just an elaborate ploy to solicit self-shots of naked cats. I, sir, will not succumb to your ruse.

[–]David_Copperfuck 2 points3 points ago

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At least put some bread on, am I right?

[–]TheTyger 1 point2 points ago

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Well this is strange... I have a RES tag telling me that April is time for me to start stalking you. Game on I guess?

[–]PhilRivers 4 points5 points ago

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the cats, are evolving!

[–]claymonsta 13 points14 points ago

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Brandie, I am SO sorry, I'm trying to have sex with you.

[–]hot_sandwiches 8 points9 points ago

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Brandie is a terrible name

[–]brandiewine99 13 points14 points ago

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Thanks a lot.

[–]KarmaSaver 4 points5 points ago

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Well -I- still like it.

[–]NibblyPig 0 points1 point ago

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Ironic the 2nd half of your reddit name is also an alcoholic drink

[–]AgoutiBreeze 0 points1 point ago

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Don't be mad. It's like someone telling you that you have broccoli in your teeth. He's trying to do you a favor. If you want to be mad at someone be mad at your parents.

[–]benm314 2 points3 points ago

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Oh Long Johnson

[–]BlazinAbraham 4 points5 points ago

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I'm going to try this later tonight hoping that my friend sends me back more dirty cat pictures.

[–]Phallic 12 points13 points ago

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"Brandie".

Eurgh.

[–]KhalilRavanna 15 points16 points ago

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"White Trash Names for 300, Alex."

[–]bestadvocate 21 points22 points ago

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Lets be more judgmental and prissy reddit.

[–]KhalilRavanna 8 points9 points ago

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Lol Didn't mean to offend, was just trying to make a reference to the trailer for the new Seth MacFarlane movie, Ted

[–]bestadvocate 2 points3 points ago

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That looks hilarious. Or possibly god awful. Likely starts off hilarious then when the plot tries to kick in it gets really bad.

[–]AgoutiBreeze 0 points1 point ago

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Naming your child Brandie is never ok. NEVER.

[–]barefoothippie 2 points3 points ago

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Thanks for advocating for us Brandies!

[–]ihateyouguys 0 points1 point ago

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...and sarcastically snarky.

[–]fastigio 0 points1 point ago

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Better than Brandi. Arguably.

[–]Phallic 18 points19 points ago

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Yeah, and drinking vomit is better than drinking lava.

[–]samosir 1 point2 points ago

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Not if you're trying to kill yourselves.

[–]SensibleMadness 1 point2 points ago

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Brandie is what the Brandis of the world prefer to be called after they retire from stripping and want to "go respectable".

[–]brandiewine99 -1 points0 points ago

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That's what I've been saying for the last 30 years.

[–]IAmNoSer 1 point2 points ago

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That is not for me...

[–]madhaxor 1 point2 points ago

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nearly died choking laughing while eating my breakfast at this

[–]Heh_Heh_Heh 1 point2 points ago

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Garbage.

[–]khdutton 5 points6 points ago

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Ugh! Shave that pussy!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Okay time to unsubscribe from r/funny.

[–]easyvibee 1 point2 points ago

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so nice save? i think so....send them a pick of a cat anytime you send the the wrong text message lol

[–]flight07 1 point2 points ago

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Ahhh, so this is why people get cats ;)

[–]AngryEnt 1 point2 points ago

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How big of a dick do you have to be to cock block your own cat?

[–]Simbrian 2 points3 points ago

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Did anyone else get hard looking at that cat?

[–]WarEmblem27 0 points1 point ago

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Cats are evil people!

[–]zeazzz 0 points1 point ago

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Good to see that Cat Facts is broadening their demographic.

[–]djamzdaddy 0 points1 point ago

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Forever alone.

[–]mcrackin 0 points1 point ago

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Whoever took that pic literally grabbed their cat and spread its legs open to take the picture.

[–]lemaracqt7 0 points1 point ago

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yea...because your cat and I don't normally share pics...

[–]LookitsDante 0 points1 point ago

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Shit, now they are sexting too. Cats are evolving to rapidly we have to stop this.

[–]Chazn95 0 points1 point ago

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This could be a awesome penguin/ socially awkward penguin meme

[–]commom_username 0 points1 point ago

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hey, cheer up: you got to see her pussy!

[–]rubbersrobber 0 points1 point ago

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I wanted to do this then realized i don't have a cat :(

[–]Engineering_Wombat -2 points-1 points ago

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dat pussy

[–]KyleYou -2 points-1 points ago

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welp He's already often more pussy than I have...

[–]oamar -2 points-1 points ago

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funniest thing i have seen on reddit.

[–]wordprodigy -1 points0 points ago

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there's so much jailbait on this site lately

[–]holyshiznoly -1 points0 points ago

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Purrvert!

[–]KittenVicious 0 points1 point ago

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Purrvert??? You LOVE the puurrrrvocative posing!

[–]hiccupstix -1 points0 points ago

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So fake, I bet his cat didn't even really steal his phone.

[–]db2 -1 points0 points ago

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That wasn't funny.

[–]RunPoopFapMaster -3 points-2 points ago

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"Here's my pussy.."

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]somewhatintrigued 2 points3 points ago

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No, it's funny because I had to log in to downvote you.

Haha.

[–]ObliviousDerpMaster -5 points-4 points ago

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Gaaaaaaaaayyyyy.

[–]BaconaterBuncie -1 points0 points ago

I hate when that happens.