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top 200 commentsshow all 297

[–]yumiharizuki 233 points234 points ago

Some crazy old lady came up to me and my girlfriend in a mall food court as we were having lunch one day and began to lecture us about manners and maturity. Apparently her little brat of grandson had falsely accused us of cutting him in line at Sonic. She was so quick to give us her two cents that she failed to notice we were eating Panda Express....

[–]hardwarequestions 130 points131 points ago

you should have thrown some of it in her face until she realized it wasn't a burger or hotdog.

[–]Piratiko 136 points137 points ago

One grain of rice at a time.

[–]LasciviousSycophant 29 points30 points ago

Rice is great when you're really hungry, and you want to eat 2,000 of something.

[–]leshins2 45 points46 points ago

Okay, Mitch Hedberg.

[–]El_Morro 11 points12 points ago

Come on, man... It takes 2 seconds to type Mitch's name. ಠ_ಠ

[–]vanillapanda 7 points8 points ago

"Mitch" who? come on, it takes two seconds to type Hedberg.

[–]jfryk 2 points3 points ago

Mitch All Together

[–]amotherfuckingbanana 16 points17 points ago*

What? People make quotes all the time without quoting the author. It's implied that people know who the author of a famous saying is.

~Banana

[–]Smokemypoo 5 points6 points ago

"you shouldnt fuck around on 4chan, or 9gag if you're a true redditor".

  • Abraham Lincoln

[–]amotherfuckingbanana 1 point2 points ago

"you shouldnt fuck around on 4chan, or 9gag if you're a true redditor".

  • Abraham Lincoln

~Smokemypoo

[–]Leedimus 1 point2 points ago

I bet I could type Mitch's name in one second.

[–]Msj2705 0 points1 point ago

Get a burger.

Eat 2,000 sesame seeds.

[–]ItsGotToMakeSense 37 points38 points ago

Oh man. I know it's hard to do in the heat of the moment, but the best response when someone is that clearly wrong, is to let them deliver their entire sermon and then calmly show them that they've talked themselves into a corner.
"See this? It's not Sonic! Your grandson is mistaken."
"Oh, FUCK YOU anyway."

[–]XCygon 9 points10 points ago

Nice Try Panda Express Sales Rep.

[–]twanathon500 0 points1 point ago

Huh and I thought sonics were just a myth! :P

[–]jkalltheway 1 point2 points ago

Wait, i don't understand. Isn't Sonic's a drive in? How can you cut a line at a drive in? What did you do, ram your car full speed into their car knocking it back onto the highway to be destroyed by speeding teenagers going 80, while you sneakily move into their spot with the front bumper and headlights of your car completely wrecked and the waitress on her roller skates is just entirely in horror at the people you just caused a horrible and early (but timely for the grandmother) death?

Man. You are a jerk.

[–]lxUn1c0 8 points9 points ago*

Isn't Sonic's a drive in?

The stand-alone locations are, yes. However, OP said:

in a mall food court

This one wasn't a normal Sonic. There's a Sonic in the mall where I live, too, and they also have restaraunts in airport and college food courts. Supposedly, there are Sonics in some hospital food courts, too, but I have yet to find one of those mythical locales.

[–]jkalltheway 11 points12 points ago

TIL to read more closely

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

That is crazy, never heard of a Sonic in a food court at a mall before. I can't imagine it anything other than the regular drive-in. What mall is your Sonic at? For some reason this intrigues me.

[–]treggify 0 points1 point ago

I refuse to go to hospitals to see what kind of food they have. haha

[–]Mattyice318 1 point2 points ago

Actually they were on rollerskates

[–]SirShazmanoid 2 points3 points ago*

  1. In all seriousness, it was specified in the OP that this occurred in a mall food court.

  2. I like your username. See you (more) in r/nfl!

[–]Mattyice318 1 point2 points ago

Thanks =)

[–]lolzlo 148 points149 points ago

In Kindergarten when my teacher was doing attendance instead of saying "Here" or "Present" I said "You have nice kids", just to be a kiss ass I guess.

She responded "What did you just say?" and I told her "I said you have nice kids!". She said "no, what did you say??!?!" but I had no idea what she was talking about. I had to leave the class and talk to a gym teacher for half an hour about this. He kept asking me what I said and I kept telling him that all I said to her was "You have nice kids".

Years later I realized she probably thought I said "You have nice tits." ಠ_ಠ

[–]pilksahoy 100 points101 points ago

Why would you say "you have nice kids"?.

[–]lolzlo 100 points101 points ago

I have no clue. All the other kids were complimenting her as well, so I wanted to chime in and be a kiss ass.

I was also 4 and peed myself in that class.

[–]BoringSurprise 37 points38 points ago

I peed myself in kindergarten too. I begged to be allowed to go to the bathroom but the teacher refused because 'it was story time'. Storytime got interrupted by a big dark stain on the carpet. Suck it Mrs. Cardillo!

[–]Marilolli 10 points11 points ago

Similar story ... from when I was in 2nd grade. We were rehearsing for a little song thing we were going to do for our parents and I was practically doing backflips in the back row waving my arms and flailing while holding my crotch so that I could go to the bathroom. Teacher ignored me. Peed my pants. Bathroom was only about 10 feet away.

[–]ThaddyG 51 points52 points ago

There is no explaining the mind of a child.

[–]donpapillon 46 points47 points ago

I would've said "you have nice tits"... Then I'd lie to the teacher and everyone else and I would remake that entire memory in my head and eventually convince myself that "you have nice kids" was all I said, even if it made no sense, and blame it on the minds of kids.

I know that's what I would do.

[–]bikemaul 5 points6 points ago

This is why I'm uncertain about how I broke my arm when I was 7. I blamed it on a kid in my class pushing me off a play structure and retold the scenario a few times. Now, I don't know for sure if anyone pushed past me causing me to fall.

Regrettably, I retaliated by kicking him pretty hard when I was 14. :/

[–]donpapillon 3 points4 points ago

You should come full circle and kiss him when you are 21.

[–]bikemaul 0 points1 point ago

Too late.

[–]Soup_and_a_Roll 2 points3 points ago

Did he died? D:

/12yo

[–]donpapillon 1 point2 points ago

He could've been the one... now you'll never know.

[–]Lampmonster1 10 points11 points ago

Sure there is. They're crazy morons just like the rest of us. They just haven't learned to hide it yet.

[–]ThaddyG 0 points1 point ago

I think they're genuinely insane sometimes.

[–]jettrscga 6 points7 points ago

Damn dude, rebel.

[–]RatBall 32 points33 points ago

One time when I was much younger I was playing GI Joes with my older cousin and his friends. My cousin was cool but his friends were kind of douche bags who gave me shit for being younger but whenever he was around them he kind of turned into a douche also. So we were playing GI Joes and I told them that one of my guys was Arnold Schwarzenegger from the movie Commando. When I said it they acted super shocked and kept asking me to say his name over and over again in which case I did. They flipped shit for reasons beyond me at the time and told my Aunt what I said and all she told me was that I should never say that word again and put me in time out. For some time I never said Arnold Schwarzenegger's name until I realized that they basically twisted my words to make it sound like I said "Schwarzenigger". The word nigger wasn't even known to me at the time. It took me much longer in life to realize this.

[–]BoringSurprise 23 points24 points ago

I was told by a neighbor that 'fucking' meant kissing. A certain course for disaster.

[–]MxDaleth 8 points9 points ago

Simple misunderstandings like that can be so brutal. I got confused between 'twat' and 'twit' when I was 6. I'll never live that one down.

[–]metallicabmc 9 points10 points ago

I was such a dumb kid. I didnt learn the true meaning of "nigger" Until I was in 6th grade. To me, it was just another word for "homie" and I said it all the time to my black friends. It was never used in any rap songs in a bad way so it never occured to me how offensive it was. Im so lucky that my black friends never kicked my ass.

[–]Noahcarr 4 points5 points ago

I did that with the word wigger up until recently...

I just didn't put 2 and 2 together.

I said it in front of people too. I'm convinced now that everybody thinks I'm a racist asshole.

Self ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

There's a difference?

[–]JarrettP 0 points1 point ago

Nice shoes, let's fuck.

[–]ISaySmartStuff 13 points14 points ago

"Schwarzenegger" literally means "black Negro."

[–]Release_the_KRAKEN 6 points7 points ago

What, as oppose to a white negro?

[–]moothemagiccow 5 points6 points ago

That's racist

[–]Release_the_KRAKEN 4 points5 points ago

White negro is racist but black negro is ok?

[–]Cptn_Sisko 1 point2 points ago

So say we all

[–]Release_the_KRAKEN 2 points3 points ago

SO SAY WE ALL!

[–]Iwokeupwithoutapillo 0 points1 point ago

[–]Lindholm87 0 points1 point ago

Does it? I thought it was something along the lines of black harrow.

[–]clt829 0 points1 point ago

I saw Arnold say it was black plowman (similar?) The 'n' goes with the Schwarzen, not the egger.

[–]19southmainco 12 points13 points ago

when i was in line up for elementary school, when i was called on i saluted my teacher.

she pulled me off the line and berated me for a good hour, made me hysterical, and then called my mom because she believed that i was comparing my height to hers (because she was really fucking short i guess).

[–]ilikemustard 7 points8 points ago

What a twist. I was wondering why she was so mad, and now it all makes sense.

[–]day5rocks 2 points3 points ago

Reminds me of this time in 4th grade when a kid in my class said the word "berber" (I have no idea what the context was but I remember that was what he said) and the teacher flipped out. It was only after several years of thinking that the word "berber" was some secret swear word that I realized she probably thought he said "pervert."

[–]moothemagiccow 7 points8 points ago

turns out she actually had been held captive by berbers the prior year

[–]Trevallion 5 points6 points ago

Hah! Once when I was in Sunday School the teacher asked us to describe the devil. I said "horny" because hey, he has horns in all the drawings, right? I got a stern talking to and was told to never say that again. Apparently horns are bad news.

[–]AdrianBrony 4 points5 points ago

once in fifth grade, I got in a lot of trouble for plagiarizing a research project.

only problem was, I didn't plagiarize anything. the only reason my teacher accused me of plagiarism was "you're not smart enough to have come up with this."

I contested her on it, and my parents did too, and she couldn't find where I stole my work from, but she refused to believe I was capable of it. The principle and superintendent both agreed with her as well on it.

worst part is it wasn't even that great of quality. Everyone's expectations were so low of me, she refused to believe I could put out even average work.

note that this was in a really low quality private christian school that only cost like 500 a semester to put me through, and that my dad refused to let me go to public school, yet lamented that he couldn't afford decent schooling for me.

[–]RustyWinger 1 point2 points ago

Oh. You're a boy. Here I am Stereotypin' thinkin' this is something a little girl would say... took me awhile.

[–]moothemagiccow 1 point2 points ago

Ms crabtree?

[–]Kind_Of_A_Dick 0 points1 point ago

Well... Did she?

[–]ohhaayreddit 74 points75 points ago

I like these types of .gifs, they are slowly teaching me to lip read

[–]skarface6 5 points6 points ago

Good look with 'watermelon' and 'ice cubes' and 'vacuum'!

[–]theorganicpanic 4 points5 points ago

Also, 'colorful' and 'I love you'

[–]tr_morrison 9 points10 points ago

Olive Juice!

[–]kiraella 4 points5 points ago

Elephant shoes!

[–]Nimonic 1 point2 points ago

Ugugug

[–]Msj2705 0 points1 point ago

All of your cues!

[–]goatlll 53 points54 points ago

Three days ago, I was sitting in front of our local mall when some guy I have never seen before slapped the shit out of me. I was more confused than mad. He started walking away like nothing happened, and I stopped him and asked what his problem was. I stood there for about 3 minutes trying to talk to the guy and figure out if there was some confusion or something. Then he took a swing at me.

[–]Lasercat77 34 points35 points ago

And then you punched him in the face,right?

[–]goatlll 54 points55 points ago

repeatedly.

[–]xtremeradness 9 points10 points ago

No you didn't, don't lie. No one on reddit lies and I like to keep it that way.

[–]goatlll 40 points41 points ago

Twas no lie. I got a scar on my neck from him taking a chunk of flesh from me, but he got it a lot worse. I was in the Marines, a former silver glove boxer, and I have spent the last 4 years as a bouncer off and on. I don't make it a habit to beat on strangers, but I had to let him know to change his condiments. Cause that weaksauce was not working for him. Honestly, the only thing going through my mind at the time was how, in a crowded parking lot, no one intervened or said anything.

[–]Cynyr 4 points5 points ago

And somehow in the middle of it all, the phone got knocked off the hook. 20 seconds later I heard a familiar voice...

[–]Phil_J_Fry 11 points12 points ago

If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again

If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Everyone on reddit was bouncer for the previous 50 years.

[–]chilly_water 2 points3 points ago

Oh shit! Like, I knew it was coming, but it's still hilarious.

[–]NotheotherMike 0 points1 point ago

Does anyone else think this is Lt. Dangle when he was younger? That is all I ever see when I see this picture.

[–]alexincode 2 points3 points ago

You got a scar after three days?

[–]Soup_and_a_Roll 2 points3 points ago

Hey guys! This kid is a phoney, possibly...!

[–]goatlll 0 points1 point ago

I should have said scab, not scar

[–]An_Arab 1 point2 points ago

Did you ever find out what his deal was?

[–]goatlll 7 points8 points ago

I actually did. A little bit after the incident, I ran into mall security and told them about it. Turns out there is a new trend in my area for someone to prove how "hard" they are by slapping a stranger to prove how bad they are and how weak someone else is. The guy that slapped me had done it more than a few times, but security was never around to do anything about it, all they had was a description. It's like somehow proving you are tougher and it is basically safe because most people avoid confrontation when they can. I handled that poorly, I should have just walked away. That is how a man should carry himself. I was in no danger, and it was not worth it. There is always a consequence for your actions. His was a beatdown, but I could have been arrested, lost my job (I now work for the state and they do not look kindly on things like that) or worse the guy could have freaked out and stabbed me or something.

[–]douglasr007 3 points4 points ago

but you know for certain he's not going to see how "hard" someone is anymore

[–]goatlll 1 point2 points ago

That is why I don't like bullying. Sooner or later you are going to run into someone just trying to mind their own business. And you are going to push them a little to far. And you are going to have a bad time indeed. If I can take anything positive away from that experience is that he slapped me, and not someone else that couldn't handle themselves. I hope I am the last person he ever slapped. Otherwise he got jacked up and didnt learn a thing.

[–]Noxfag 0 points1 point ago*

No one on reddit lies and I like to keep it that way.

Man you have no idea

[–]tomoyopop 2 points3 points ago

Reminds me of Fight Club.

[–]DishwasherTwig 4 points5 points ago

So he punched himself...

[–]nohearin 47 points48 points ago

In the third grade, my teacher called my parents about a racist drawing I had made of an indian girl in my class. She was quite concerned.

In actually, I had only drawn a picture of Princess Jasmine from Aladdin as a fish. It was labelled "Princess Jasmine-Fish."

But hey, no one's perfect.

[–]noobeater 20 points21 points ago

Well did you at least take his lunch money?

[–]Derelyk 17 points18 points ago

my wtf moment.

I was in 5th grade, was told by my teacher in a very stern voice that I had to report to the priniciples office. Confused, I sat in receptionists area for about 10 minutes.

Principle calls me in and he has his paddle out ಠ_ಠ. I'm told to assume the position and recieve 10 swats... and am told, "If I ever hear of you fighting on the bus again, you'll get 20."

:| .. wut?

He hands me a report from one of the bus drivers stating I had started a fight the previous day after school... wednesday.

:| "I deliver papers every wednesday afterschool, I didn't ride the bus. I wan't to talk to my father."

Look on the principles face was priceless.

[–]Fuckythedrunkclown 3 points4 points ago

Thats fucked man

[–]Derelyk 8 points9 points ago

That's the same principle and same teacher who strip searched all the boys in class.

Teacher found some amount of milk money missing from his desk. Principle and teacher had the girls leave and then all the boys had to strip.

Cash was never found.

It's at this point in the story where everyone asks, what about the girls. They were never searched, cause you know... sugar and spice.

[–]Marshfellow 5 points6 points ago

Couldn't he be jailed for that?

[–]Derelyk 10 points11 points ago

not back when you had to walk to school, uphill, in the snow... both ways.

[–]Msj2705 1 point2 points ago

And you used to get up the creek and the only paddle you had was riddled with holes because it was the same paddle that the principle used to beat everyone with.

[–][deleted] ago*

[deleted]

[–]We_found_peaches[!] 5 points6 points ago

Same for me! Except I called my mom "Mammy" which is actually a racist term for older black women. I was 5 and got bored with calling my mom "mommy".

[–]ElectronMicroscopist 4 points5 points ago

I've never heard of "mammy" being a racist term, nor have I even heard of the word... I must learn obscure racist terms nobody knows about and insert them into conversations randomly to see if anyone reacts.

[–]BarrelAss 2 points3 points ago

He was in blackface at the time...

[–]DishwasherTwig 4 points5 points ago

I've been yelled at by my dad for "not respecting my family" by not responding to them when spoken to, or at least he says. He just didn't hear me answer and assumed I ignored them. Happened more than once.

[–]fedvladem 1 point2 points ago

So you thought you just made it up?

[–]EricRohan 120 points121 points ago

I had that happen at a fair in Athens and I ended up getting arrested with no charges for being "intoxicated" even though I was 21 and perfectly coherent. I was accused of being sexually explicit in front of a minor when it was really just a stuck up super douchey fundamentalist mom upset that I told her son to go ahead and flirt with the girls there. I didn't make any vulgar comments. Ruined the end of my visit in that town... I had an hour to get ready for my flight after getting out of holding the next morning... Really sucked.

[–]jaycrew 183 points184 points ago

This didn't make sense until I realized you were talking about Athens, Georgia.

[–]pianobadger 24 points25 points ago

Thank you for this. I've been to Athens (Greece) and was very confused.

[–]Limitedcomments 28 points29 points ago

Ooooooh. I see.

[–]EricRohan 17 points18 points ago

Ohio ;)

[–]jaycrew 9 points10 points ago

Then your lack of specificity is even more mind boggling!

[–]EricRohan 3 points4 points ago

I forgot how many other athens there are when I wrote it and I guess I'd feel weird editing it now lol

[–]Ozlin 1 point2 points ago

Being from Ohio, this was actually the first Athens I thought of, then I thought "No, no, EricRohan probably means one of those other Athenses." Sorry your trip was ruined, usually Athens OH is a pretty cool place with open minded people.

What fair was it?

[–]EricRohan 1 point2 points ago

It was a county fair I think and yeah I had a great time there. The people were awesome. Just that one mean bitch and those punk cops :D

[–]TalesOfFan 0 points1 point ago

Would probably be true for Athens, VA as well.

[–]lightfingers 0 points1 point ago*

ah was very confused for a moment.

America, please make up your own place names

sincerely Europe (and the rest of the world)

[–][deleted] 28 points29 points ago

I'm sorry, man.

[–]EricRohan 16 points17 points ago

It's all good. Now it is part of one my life's funny stories. I actually had a crazy month out there. Buncha wacked out things happened...

[–]freak920 2 points3 points ago

Any sexy times?

[–]Mattyice318 49 points50 points ago

It all started when an older gentleman gave him the go ahead to flirt with other girls

[–]EricRohan 2 points3 points ago

Many awesome sexy times. Seriously the freaky-deakiest month of my life.

[–]hardwarequestions 12 points13 points ago

whacko moms are the worst.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

And you were practicing witchcraft, too!

[–]wild-bill 2 points3 points ago

That's Athens cops for you. I've had a couple of run-ins with those assholes.

[–]HashSlingingSlash3r 23 points24 points ago

This is by far my favorite line from The Truman Show

[–]Sven_Burger 2 points3 points ago

I've seen the movie a bunch of times, but I don't remember this moment... can you play it out for me?

[–]megagoten 22 points23 points ago

probably when he's talking to his wifey and freaking out about his dad or whatever and then she throws in an advertisement about a cooking oil or some pre-mixed cake or something.. then cue .gif

[–]TheC0mm0nEnemy 2 points3 points ago

saw the movie about a week ago, I can confirm this

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points ago

We know, we all saw you watch it.

[–]TheC0mm0nEnemy 3 points4 points ago

You sir, just rocked my goddamn world. Bravo.

[–]luxury_yacht 15 points16 points ago

What're you gonna do?? You gonna dice me, slice me, or peel me?? There's so..many...CHOICES!!

[–]Kriptik 6 points7 points ago

How can anyone expect me to carry on under these conditions? IT'S UNPROFESSIONAL!

[–]HashSlingingSlash3r 2 points3 points ago

This guy gets it

[–]pippofin 6 points7 points ago

here is the video line starts around second 30 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhIIPbO_6xg

[–]Kriptik 4 points5 points ago*

Why don't you let me fix you some of this new Mococoa drink. All natural cocoa beans from the upper slopes of Mount Nicuragua, no artificial sweeteners. I've tasted other cocoas. This is the best.

[–]DishwasherTwig 32 points33 points ago*

I've been written up in high school because a crazy teacher randomly came up to me and accused me of knocking on her window. That was annoying.

EDIT: Knocking on her window, not in like I had. Nothing was destroyed, someone was just apparently knocking on the window as they passed on several occasions and I was blamed for it despite always walking on the opposite of the hall at that part.

[–]BoringSurprise 16 points17 points ago

Oh man, when I was in fourth grade I took a violin class and a stuck-up girl that I had never spoken to accidentally took my violin case instead of hers to her next class. I normally left mine in the music room so I didn't notice it was missing. By the end of the next class she was crying her eyes out, shrieking to the whole world that I had stolen her violin (by merit of the fact that mine was where she expected hers to be?). Every teacher who heard the story immediately took her side (she was a goody 2-shoes and I was a slacker) so I decided to look in the music room and, tadaa, there is her 'stolen' violin. She and the teachers quickly decided that I had in fact stolen it and hidden it, and only brought it back when I was caught. Despite the fact that I would have somehow lost my own instrument in the bargain. I got treated like a petty theif for much of the remaining year over that stupid debacle.

[–]nohearin 2 points3 points ago

oof.

[–]DeathBuffalo 30 points31 points ago

When I was in grade 4 I was yelled at by a teacher at lunch time because some little girl that could barely speak English was crying and shouting that I stole her little kiddy purse. It wasn't me but of course the teacher made me spend my entire lunch break looking for it.

[–]ChiperSoft 2 points3 points ago

When I was in fourth grade one of my classmates told the teacher that I had a condom (naturally, I didn't). They pulled me out of class and sent me to the principal's office, where I was interrogated about it. I was 10 and raised in a very conservative family, I didn't know wtf a condom even was, much less if I had one.

Looking back on it I'm quite entertained by the memory of the principal trying to explain the concept of a condom without actually saying what it's for (sex ed wasn't covered until 6th grade). She started by describing it as a sort of balloon, which left me asking why my having a balloon would be something bad. In the end she concluded that I had been a victim of slander and took me back to class.

[–]knowwon249 0 points1 point ago

When I was in third grade someone wrote my name in blue crayon in the black top and the principle called me up to the office in the middle of class and made me wait until lunch to wipe it off.

[–]jaycrew -5 points-4 points ago

What does the girl's comprehension of English provide in this story?

[–]Alaphant 21 points22 points ago

Nothing but fuck you if you don't laugh at her for it.

[–]FallingSnowAngel 5 points6 points ago

What does the girl's being in grade 4 provide in this story? Or being a girl? I mean, if you're going to throw racism out there, why not sexism and age-ism too?

I don't know your history, but sometimes what you mine from a careful examination of a story is what you're bringing into it.

[–]DeathBuffalo 1 point2 points ago

Well I'm not trying to be racist or anything but I understand how hard it is sometimes to identify someone when in another country different from your own, especially since much like myself there were many other white kids with shaggy brown hair at my school and I was probably mistaken for one of them.

[–]jcpennies 8 points9 points ago

In 6th grade I was almost suspended for "repeatedly tripping and general bullying" on an orientation trip. Thing is, I was never around thekid and I wasn't released from the principal's office until they looked at the cameras to see it was a much larger kid than I.

[–]DishwasherTwig 3 points4 points ago

I had an annoying kid follow me after lunch one day in 6th grade stepping on my heels. I turned around and took a swing at him and of course that's all one teacher saw, so she sent us to the vice principal's office. The kid ended up saying the stupidest shit and was insulting the new program the VP had just started so he let me go and kept the kid longer to talk to. I lol'd.

[–]lordlicorice 16 points17 points ago

[–]Mr_3AM 8 points9 points ago

why is she so upset? why does she think everyone with camera is stalking her? she said people come every couple years and take "illegal" pictures?

[–]maccabeus 13 points14 points ago

she's probably schizophrenic or some shit. she's clearly not sane.

[–]AdrianBrony 7 points8 points ago

I get the feeling that the people filming her have been harassing her for a while, and they then put this video out in order to make it look like she is crazy and overreacting.

[–]bl00dyg33k 0 points1 point ago

Do you happen to be Exarian?

[–]Msj2705 0 points1 point ago

Isn't it obvious?!?

Those people with the camera were taking pictures while trespassing on that public parking lot! That's illegal!

/harpdarp

[–]balmanator 4 points5 points ago

What was Sam Kinison so mad about anyway?

[–]Severok 2 points3 points ago

That was strangely entertaining. I shall now spend the remainder of my lunch break watching angry crazy people on youtube

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Make you check out the one where the guy screams about the mall being closed. That one's classic.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Oh yeah I've seen this, it's awesome.

[–]K4ge 6 points7 points ago

Fun fact: her line "Call 911 now" was used in a Skrillex song

[–]Talman 1 point2 points ago

What the fuck, that woman has a mental illness and needs immediate in-facility treatment. Get the taser.

[–]AdrianBrony 2 points3 points ago

what if the people filming her have been harassing her for a while before they filmed this clip, and she reached her breaking point, at which point they recorded it and framed it to look like she was crazy?

[–]MarioMetroid 2 points3 points ago

[–]Talman 1 point2 points ago

No. There are a lot of contexts cues there indicating that woman is nuts. She's all over the place, deflects their questions with a different ranting tactic, has trouble keeping train of thought, and keeps using the same particular speech patterns over and over again.

That woman is probably mental subject, possibly having a manic episode, and needs some mental health evaluation.

A rational person does not scream "call the police," then state she is calling the police, then scream "call the police" again. There's no follow through on her actions, she just spins in circles mentally on about 3 tracks.

At the end, you can hear someone who is most likely rational order everyone to leave the parking lot, and the filming folks comply.

[–]Snipeyhunt 0 points1 point ago

But are you sure she isn't crazy and being harrassed?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I'm wonderin instead of seeing youtube.com/doifjasokdjflkajsdofuckajsdo is there a way to preview the link title before going there?

[–]Onslow_Skils 0 points1 point ago

She looks familiar...

[–]lady_lady_LADY 0 points1 point ago

I always loved "4. Ya been yelled at." as a reason they're in trouble/need to leave.

[–]IzziTheEpic 4 points5 points ago

One time me and my friends were at Fridays and this lady came up to me and yelled at me for calling her twelve year old daughter a bitch with my friends, and laughing at her. Never saw either of them before in my life.

[–]guntycankles 12 points13 points ago

You should have "ASSED" her a few questions.

[–]alrightythen7 7 points8 points ago

Truman Show is one of my favorite movies of all time. Not just because it has a terrific, entertaining storyline, but also because of how it showed the Jim Carrey isn't just typecast as the usual goofball that he is in movies like Liar Liar and Bruce Almighty. And this scene is one of my favorites.

[–]Gamoc 6 points7 points ago

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is one of my favourite films of all time and you just made me want to watch it for something like the 20th time. Jim Carrey is a pretty great actor when he wants to be.

[–]Abezilla116 4 points5 points ago

The first time I saw this was on that disaster that was the Woody Harrelson AMA a while back. Good times...

For those interested, here's the link. Best use of the gif, in my opinion.

[–]Shomud 3 points4 points ago

When I was young I was riding bikes with some friends in a cul-de-sac. A little boy, maybe 6 or 7 years old came out on his bike and started following us around. He was smiling and laughing and we let him follow us for a little bit. Then suddenly he just got off his bike, dropped it on the road and ran into his house. A few seconds later his mom came out with him and he was crying. She started yelling at us because he apparently told her we pushed him off his bike. We never even talked to him, let alone physically got involved with him. It was so weird.

[–]Scarjaka 2 points3 points ago

2 things. When I was maybe in 6th grade or so I was outside at the playground with a couple other kids I knew. One of them was younger. We were running around and then the younger one took some money right out of my pocket. I was like whoa what the hell and tried to get the money back, he fell on the ground and started crying. I yelled at him to give me my money back but he said he didn't take it. A lady came over from across the street and started yelling at me, telling me that she saw me punch him several times in the face and swear at him (which I did not do.) She then told me to apologize or she'd call the police on me. Bastard got away with mah money.

2nd thing. When I was a freshman in high school my friends and I were talking some random thing, joking around a bit, when a teacher comes up to us and told us that we needed to leave the classroom and re-enter and be polite. This was before class started and we were like "What...? Why?" She told us that she heard us swearing like crazy (we weren't.) She threatened to send us to the principal when we told her she had misheard.

[–]the2belo 3 points4 points ago

One day a man ran up to me. I did not know this man. He smashed my treat into my eyes. And then he pointed and said, "You FUCKIN' REMEMBER ME FOREVER!"

[–]entropikone 2 points3 points ago

I've gotten that before too, easiest to just turn and walk away :P

[–]Msj2705 2 points3 points ago

It is even easier to just ignore them.

[–]entropikone 0 points1 point ago

Well that's what I was getting at by walking away, but there's the initial confrontation of them getting in your face and making accusations.

[–]supergood 2 points3 points ago

i LOVE this scene, for the record.

[–]doctor_who_reference 10 points11 points ago

[–]Cahlee 1 point2 points ago

I expect great things from you in the future.

[–]XCygon 3 points4 points ago

one of the most scariest episode of doctor who, I shat bricks while watching that episode.

[–]xtremeradness 6 points7 points ago

"most scary" or "scariest," not both.

[–]XCygon 4 points5 points ago

[–]Msj2705 0 points1 point ago

If you're going to be a grammar Nazi, at least be a good one.

Only "scariest" would be correct. The phrase "most scary" is never correct.

[–]Gamoc 0 points1 point ago

OH FUCKING GOD NOPE

[–]Linton58 1 point2 points ago

This was my reaction when a rumor at my school started that I yelled at one of the teachers there while she was pregnant, called her a whore, and made her cry...

...This was in the eighth grade.

[–]divid3byzer0 1 point2 points ago

When I was in the 4th grade, this kid from the started messing around, making fun of me and generally being an asshole to everyone in the playground. So I stood up to him and he pushed me. I pushed back. Of course, one of the school educators only saw me pushing him and came towards me. I was known for being a really nice kid that never got into trouble so she made me feel EXTRA bad, that she was very disappointed with me, etc...and I got sent to a corner to sit, separated from everybody else.

During all this, this kid was behind the woman, making faces and taunting me. So I was sitting in the corner, completely enraged with the stupid brat and the situation and I just flip out, started running towards the kid (who had his back turned to me) and I just jumped the highest I could and ninja kicked him in the back. He hits a door and falls back. He wasn't even injured but the surprise plus the scare, made him start to cry and the look on his face was just priceless.

I got sent to detention (first and only time), but it was worth it.

[–]Wolfy87 1 point2 points ago

I was accused of kicking a small child in the face with roller skates once. I did not own any roller skates at the time. Why does this kind of thing happen so much?

[–]Tamlar 1 point2 points ago

I was 8 on my way to school, when a 40 something woman came up to me yelling. (Small neighbourhood so this was very strange). I had absolutely no idea what was happening, but apparently I called her daughter a slut or something (she also said I threatened her, this didn't make any sense to me in a sweet primary school with only 100 students or so, I'd never heard verbal abuse from children).

As an 8 year old well-mannered boy, I had to explain I didn't know what a slut was, and that I don't swear - ever. It's bad. She took this as me being offensive and "talking back" - (I fucking hate that expression.)

She proceeded to swear at me, teaching me words that before then I would have never used to offend a woman. Shouting at me and pushing me for something I didn't do.

A horrible experience, but I can piece it together now. The only thing I really learned from her ranting though, was that she was definitely "a cunt"...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

The Truman Show fucked me up as a kid. My brother watched it and constantly tormented me telling me I was on 'The LickMyAsshole Show'. I never felt like I had complete privacy for years.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

The LickMyAsshole show is my kinda show.

[–]moothemagiccow 4 points5 points ago

Do you eat the poopoo?

[–]Dunlocke 1 point2 points ago

Upvoted for the gif alone!

[–]tookule4skool 0 points1 point ago

On a side note, what is this gif from? I actually laughed out loud =P

[–]Layzeeboi 2 points3 points ago

The Truman Show. It's a movie.

[–]tookule4skool 0 points1 point ago

Thank you sir, I've seen it but I guess I just don't remember this scene.

[–]Layzeeboi 0 points1 point ago

I try my best to help.

[–]Biggie18 0 points1 point ago

8th grade, I was playing on a claw machine an managed to win a stuffed beaver. I had the idea to give it to my friend because we always joked about him being a beaver because he had slightly buck teeth and would always chew on pencils.

So I go to school on the bus and I take out the stuffed animal and show it to some of my friends who think it's hilarious and one of my friends younger brothers asks to see it. I lift it up to show him, since he's sitting a few rows away. The younger brother calls some other girls name and points to the beaver and then laughs. I think nothing of it and proceed to go into school.

I end up giving the beaver to my friend and continue on through the day until I'm called into the principals office. I see the younger brother and the girl who he called out on the bus. I get yelled out for like 30 minutes not having any idea what I did. I try to explain this to the principal, and mention why I brought it and that I didn't mean to offend anyone.

Principal ends up calling my mom, who is just as perplexed as me when the principal calls her, and finally talks to my step-dad who is like 10 years older than my mom (he was around 50 at the time), and explains to her the other meaning for the word beaver. Mother than proceeds to ream the principal over the phone.

TL;DR: Got in trouble with the principal because girl on bus thought I was making lewd references to vaginas with a stuffed beaver I was giving a friend.

[–]Always_Bout_Guys 0 points1 point ago

LEAVE THE KID ALONE