The cold, hard truth about penguins.

Brimlife · 5 months

wait a min.. You're supposed to send a gift even if you cant make the wedding... Wow, I am a cheap bastard..
edit You're cheap!

Terminatorboy25 · 5 months

This is from the book "F* * * You, Penguin" Great Book BTW

don_joe · 5 months

You know who really sucks? It's those damn polar bears, amirite? With their fur and their Coke commercials. What is that?

Sincerely,

TotallyNotAPenguin

nicePenguin · 5 months

Hey! I've only met nice Penguins! just like me :D

_iWonder_ · 5 months

Conspiracies

Kylskap · 5 months

They are so fucking full of themselves!

Fatz_z · 5 months

...and you know they're probably just putting on that whole penguin waddle thing, as soon as you're out of sight they're fuckin' Usain Boltquins.

thegreekmind · 5 months

Is this from a Haggis-On-Whey World of Unbelievable Brillance book? I have Giraffes? Giraffes!

accel169 · 5 months

Actual Truth

TotallyNotAPenguin · 5 months

No, that's wrong. I've spent my entire life working with Penguins. I can honestly say I feel more at home with them than I do with people. They are some of the most honest and noble creatures on Earth.

PrescientPoster · 5 months

TIL that penguins can be really big jerks.

ableskittle · 5 months

Where can i learn more interesting penguin facts? is there some sort of text message service that i can sign up for?

AngryEnt · 5 months

Ya, and those little bastards already have their own tuxedos, whereas you have to rent or buy one.

-SixOClock- · 5 months

I have so many penguin friends who've done this, it's brutal.

NiBuch · 5 months

I hate penguins. They take you out for a drink, but when the check comes, their wallet's always in their other pants -which they borrowed from me!

HyperbolicChamber · 5 months

This whole time we thought they were socially awkward, turns out they're just assholes.

HyperbolicChamber · 5 months

We should introduce a few penguins to Reddit, they'll learn to proofread.

Afraid-Of-Penguins · 5 months

They invite you to their weddings because then they don't need to spend money on food. I figured this out when they told me to rub Worchestershire sauce all over my body because it prevents frost bite.

ShootStation · 5 months

Last line misspelled on purpoise

winsomecowboy · 5 months

Existential Crisis of A Penguin

http://youtu.be/0qVWKpAH7OI

wayndom · 5 months

Penguins do NOT only live in Antarctica. There are also Equatorial penguins.

factory81 · 5 months

My cousin is having a wedding in a place I don't want to spend the money on. Kind of like "Hey can you commit to this wedding vacation with $500 down within 2 weeks and pay the remaining $1100 in 2 easy payments? Make sure your passport is renewed."

Im like que wat.......I have an active "vacation" life and swinging a $1700 carribean trip out of this year was not planned my man! I told the travel agent to quit calling me and now I feel rude. Easter is next week too :(

SoCo_cpp · 5 months

That's the least funny thing I've ever seen called funny.

NyQuil012 · 5 months

Penguins don't get married. Everybody knows penguins ain't natural. They was chemically manmade like the Incredible Hulk. It's in the bible.

zelani · 5 months

TIL my relatives are penguins.

Revanx17 · 5 months

anyone else read that last word as "Proo-fread" ?

Ko0k13 · 5 months

You're also CC'd so you can see the message is for hundreds of other people.

Crazii-P · 5 months

those damn penguins, and when i invite them nobody shows..

anexanhume · 5 months

You think that's bad? Try playing online games with them on your team. Their ping is atrocious.

michelledepeil · 5 months

[deleted]

JesterAzazel · 5 months

And don't let them borrow your car. They always change my preset radio stations..

Potato_Nom · 5 months

Those MOTHER FUCKERS!

cyrilio · 5 months

I've been watching the penguins of Madagascar lately and I can confirm this. Sadly there is no subreddit for the penguins of Madagascar.

bouapha · 5 months

Don't forget about T3H PENGUIN OF D00M!1!!1!!!!1!

mynameistux · 5 months

dude it was one time, you need to chiil out

luckychan314 · 5 months

Looks like my cousin is a penguin.

Sengura · 5 months

Is it proper etiquette to send a present even if you don't attend the wedding? I did not know this.

Not that it will make a difference to me...

gingerpride · 5 months

If you do end up attending, just pray they aren't serving fish.

Wary-of-Penguins · 5 months

Penguins do seem kinda crass.

keeweejones · 5 months

This book totally reminds me of this post.

rob132 · 5 months

I've been saying this for years, but no one listens until some fancy pants puts it in a book.

trolloc1 · 5 months

Read it as "poofread" which made it even funnier.

IYKWIM_AITYD · 5 months

So my cousins are penguins, apparently. Who knew?

AcousticWalrus · 5 months

Already saw it on march of the penguins

ripfg · 5 months

since penguins never proofread

Now ain't that the fuckin' truth.

wellhushmypuppies · 5 months

they're even kind of dicks to each other

4011isbananas · 5 months

This is also true for Mormons.

meachatron · 5 months

Someone already mentioned that this is from the book F U Penguin..

It's a collection from a blog :)

Some funny stuff in there and a real rage for cute internet creatures.

PacoThePenguin · 5 months

We totaly dont do tat. >:( u suck fo makin fun of uss.

tdltuck · 5 months

I'm pretty sure a penguin wrote that because the fucker didn't bother indenting. Fuck penguins

Stranded_In_A_Desert · 5 months

Penguins think they're so fucking cool

hooliog · 5 months

Alternatively here's a article detailing how scientists use satellite photos of penguin 'guano'(see: feces) to locate Emperor penguin colonies in Antarctica.

0MeaganBlane · 5 months

Still better than being a red wings fan...

BigPenguinLover · 5 months

They keep on pushing me away but I keep on coming back for more. When will I learn...when will I learn

peachrobinsons · 5 months

fucking love penguins, would definitely be one if it were possible

iwastheop · 5 months

Get Well Soob

sevendeadlypigs · 5 months

so that's where sue ellen got the idea from

YellowWaffles69 · 5 months

Life Lesson #1: DONT HATE ON THE PENGUINS!!!

xG33Kx · 5 months

The bastards!

scottydbiz · 5 months

The sweetest irony is they have their own publishing empire.

Penguin_FTW · 5 months

It's true.

Joke_Getter · 5 months

Really boring. Don't post again for a while, OP.

yonyonjohn · 5 months

Penguins can be assholes sometimes. They slap when they get nervous, and it's surprisingly painful.

jlovely21 · 5 months

Penguins are assholes. Case in point: http://gifb.in/E8bV what kind of brotherly penguins would do that to each other?! Assholes, I tell you.

Zertiof · 5 months

I have that book!

Vircissitude · 5 months

Sucks that Penguins went into publishing then...

theLucubrator · 5 months

Wow, this is so racist. I can't believe they'd say that. There's plenty of great birds out there. Just because a few penguins get married 3 times a year to get presents doesn't mean it's the same for all of us.

pablothe · 5 months

This should be on discovery's frozen planet, I've already had a bad incident along these lines with a penguin.

AlzheimerBot · 5 months

Whoa! That's like, racist, man!

megapenguinx · 5 months

FU Penguin? I have no idea where my copy of that book went

wulfstein · 5 months

proofread? fuck that, I'm a penguin

Ma_riqah506 · 5 months

lol'd

mono123 · 5 months

whoever posted this... fuck you. That was in no way funny and its even worse since it was an imgur link and i thought it was a picture... go die

youatowel · 5 months

It's better than being Invited to a monkeys party all they do is fling poo and the thank you note is covered in it.

funny

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