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619
620

Cat vs Dog (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by markiemice

top 200 commentsshow all 242
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[–]_iWonder_ 108 points109 points ago

Relevant http://i.imgur.com/hc3A5.jpg

[–]secretmysteryman 23 points24 points ago

solution: http://i.imgur.com/WtxI5.jpg

[–]magicwizardbacon 1 point2 points ago

What is that from?

[–]MikeBerg 12 points13 points ago

The internet

[–]nordicapollo 1 point2 points ago

No Hands!!!!... Good god, I haven't seen that little cutie in years. He (or she) was the victim of my first Photoshop, back when I was an active contributor to b3ta.

[–]secretmysteryman 0 points1 point ago

So you're the original creator of this photo?

[–]nordicapollo 0 points1 point ago

No, not that photo, but I've made a few 'shops' that were similar. The original is without the gun, like this

[–]EmilisBalt 1 point2 points ago

That cat has no shame at all. It could at least move the hand ಠ_ಠ

[–]markiemice[S] 6 points7 points ago

The difference. (:

[–]RetardedAndIKnowIt 17 points18 points ago

...that smiley! IT'S WRONG! IT'S SO WRONG!

[–]kb_klash 3 points4 points ago

Must be Australian.

[–]Axolotile 1 point2 points ago

I know! D:

[–]markiemice[S] 1 point2 points ago

Haha. I'm just used to doing it like that. Then scumbag messenger won't replace it with one of their images. (:

[–]Skafsgaard 102 points103 points ago

Bird's Diary.

[–]whiteboy1190 20 points21 points ago

This caused uncontrollable laughter and I still can't figure out why exactly.

[–]IM_NOT_KARMANAUT 131 points132 points ago

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

[–]Today_is_Thursday 66 points67 points ago

The Queen of England has staff. Cats have indentured servants.

[–]mhrf90 15 points16 points ago*

I hate fucking cats. I never miss the opportunity to torture one "You are staying on top of me for the next 2 hours of TV... THERE WILL BE NO TUMMY RUBBING!" That'd show them who's the boss.

[–]PoorlyTimedPhraseGuy 36 points37 points ago

I don't like fucking cats either, it's not natural.

[–]ieatbees 8 points9 points ago

It is if you're a cat.

[–]marios32 2 points3 points ago

Do you really eat bees?

Huh ?

Do ya ?

[–]ieatbees 1 point2 points ago

As a cat, it's only natural that I do.

[–]Dragonic2020 1 point2 points ago

Unless, you know, if you're into that sort of thing. You'd be surprised to know that bestiality is legal in some parts of the U.S.

[–]PoorlyTimedPhraseGuy 0 points1 point ago

Doesn't make it any less disgusting.

[–]Today_is_Thursday 3 points4 points ago

They must tremble in fear of you.

[–]zlukasze -1 points0 points ago

Today is not Thursday.

[–]Today_is_Thursday 2 points3 points ago

It is for me. You jelly?

[–]zlukasze 1 point2 points ago

So very jelly.

[–]guynamedjames 8 points9 points ago

That's even better then mine:

You own a dog, you live with a cat

[–]DeepRoast 94 points95 points ago

Anyone else read the Cats note in Stewie Griffins voice?

[–]Wickidmetal 26 points27 points ago

I read the cat's side in Patrick Stewart's voice and the dogs voice was the annoying guy from the beggin' strips commercials

[–]Lowspark 3 points4 points ago

the beggin strips dog was originally voiced by john candy.

[–]CZtheDude 3 points4 points ago

Also, the John Candy Visual Arts Studio at Neil McNeil Catholic High School, in Toronto, Ontario was dedicated in his honour after his death.

[–]ribasarous 4 points5 points ago

I used Nick Kroll's cat voice from "thank you very cool."

[–]NickDerpov 0 points1 point ago

I read it in Charlie Chaplin's voice.

[–]Apok34[!] 6 points7 points ago

Only justifiable voice to read it in is Nibbler.

[–]stash0606 9 points10 points ago

exactly. left side is brian, right side is stewie.

[–]TheRealHunter 2 points3 points ago

Anyone else read it in Morgan Freeman's voice?

[–]jefro2293 2 points3 points ago

yep

[–]weaver2109 2 points3 points ago

I read it in the voice of Nemo from Arthur.

[–]Tr1ggrhappy 2 points3 points ago

I came in hopes of finally having an original comment, gave an upvote and left with my head down instead.

[–]sdubeforslund 2 points3 points ago

I read it in the voice of the alien cat over lord from futurama.

[–]SirMegatowel 2 points3 points ago

I read the dog as Pinky and the cat as Brain.

[–]sge_fan 1 point2 points ago

Strange, without thinking about it I read it in Stewie's voice. And I've seen maybe 10 Family Episodes. Weird!

[–]Time_splitter 1 point2 points ago

You stole my comment. But I've decided to upvote you; I'll make it known well that you are lucky. If I were a cat you would get no upvote for stealing my comment before I could comment.

[–]DeepRoast 0 points1 point ago

Thanks I'll reciprocate with an upvote for you.

[–]DoctorNose 207 points208 points ago

Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Re: CAT VERSSUS DOG FUNNY

[–]turtal46 25 points26 points ago

LOVE MOM!

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

You have only become a redditor once you recognize a repost and then know what the top comment is going to be and why without clicking on the link.

[–]DoctorNose 2 points3 points ago

But did you know I would intentionally misspell versus?

KEEPIN' IT FRESH 2012

[–]plzinsertgirder 28 points29 points ago

http://i.imgur.com/pEPAZ.png

[–]Specialk83 1 point2 points ago

I think this is the first time I've seen something on Facebook before Reddit.

[–]aftli 1 point2 points ago

Rule of reddit: If you received it in a chain e-mail from your grandmother, it's probably a repost. Don't bother.

[–]Eboz100 18 points19 points ago

How many times can this be re-posted before people get tired of it?

[–]loial37 121 points122 points ago

I had not viewed this picture previously, so I am actually happy it was reposted.

[–]kavorka2 11 points12 points ago

Seen it a dozen times. Still kinda funny though. Like a good episode of Seinfeld.

[–]OmnipotentBagel 5 points6 points ago

Like most episodes of Seinfeld, I merely had to glance at the image and recognize what it was to get some ancillary amusement out of it and then move on. You can recreate the entire thing in your head in a fraction of the time it takes to actually read it all again.

I suppose I don't really have a point here. Just think it's interesting. You could just make a post titled "That one 'Dog's diary vs. Cat's diary' pic" and elicit the same response for the bulk of us, with no image necessary. I suppose this version has its merits in that the few people who have yet to see it can get in on it too.

[–]Saint947 2 points3 points ago

I don't know man.

I just don't know.

This picture is literally older than social media. I got it in an email forward on Compuserve dialup, when it was still a competitor with AOL.

[–]mike45010 0 points1 point ago

At least two or three more times...

load more comments (2 replies)

    [–]knife2meetU 12 points13 points ago

    Where can i read the rest of the cats diary??

    [–]scramblesnbits 21 points22 points ago

    http://www.amazon.com/Anne-Frank-Diary-Young-Girl/dp/0553296981

    [–]magicalsealion 47 points48 points ago

    I like dogs better, they're more carefree. And I am prepared for the down votes.

    [–]BadRadio 11 points12 points ago

    If you really want to prepare for down votes point out that dogs consistently out perform cats in tests of learning and intelligence. I have come to terms with what comes next.

    [–]magicalsealion 0 points1 point ago

    I said I was prepared for the down votes because a lot of Redditors seem to like cats more. I also wanted to seem self aware, knowing what judgments will come out of my opinion.

    [–]HeartbeatOfCreation 8 points9 points ago*

    Upvote for stating a preference in the face of disparity.

    [–]TheRealBigLou 0 points1 point ago

    I know it's all fun and games to say the internet is obsessed with cats, but I've noticed a growing preference to dogs on Reddit. Any time there is one of these threads, people complain about cats and praise dogs.

    [–]nice_foreign_guy -2 points-1 points ago

    I do prefer cats for their seemingly more advanced sense of self.

    Nonetheless, please allow me to contribute this measly upvote along with my high hopes the rest of your day passes in a pleasant manner :)

    [–]AntonJokinen 42 points43 points ago

    Dogs think the owner is god. Cats think they're god.

    Cats, though fluffy and cute, are actually arrogant assholes.

    [–]Incara1010 8 points9 points ago

    That's why (and excuse me for questioning the hivemind) I wonder why reddit is most often associated with cats, more pictures of cats make the front page, etc.

    [–]rk9 4 points5 points ago

    Cats are easier to put into funny situations, but reddit also has a fixation on corgis and huskies, so theres that

    [–]PushThatFatKid 0 points1 point ago

    Well then, I would like to introduce reddit to... The Hovawart.

    [–]unconventionalspork 0 points1 point ago

    Schnoodle

    [–]cameron432 3 points4 points ago

    Cats are much cuter (in my opinion, obviously) when they're not your cats. Dogs are just fucking awesome to own.

    [–]Freelancer68 1 point2 points ago

    I don't know man, have you called dog lately?

    [–]LukaCola 5 points6 points ago

    Naw, trust me if a dog doesn't view you as an alpha they'll be assholes but they'll also be clumsy about it (which is sometimes funny and other times just terrible). It's just the pack mentality, people like having followers, cats are independent. After all they only stick around cause we feed them. So yeah, they're arrogant assholes, but they're also small and search for a mutual benefit, they know their place. Dogs... If they wanna be the alpha, they will fuck you up.

    Never have a dog with a small child, you shouldn't have cats either, but dogs can actually hurt you.

    Just my 2 cents nobody asked for.

    [–]TheRealBigLou 2 points3 points ago

    Actually, research shows that domesticated dogs are nothing like wild hounds or wolves. There's really no "alpha" to a pet dog. However, the way an owner handles the relationship between himself and a dog will affect its behavior.

    [–]silverwolf761 0 points1 point ago

    Exactly right. I think the strongest case you can make for tired old "pack alpha" mentality is with protection Dogs, but really it's more about demeanor than anything. You don't need to force them to submit to you; I find just being calm and confident works wonders. Let them know that they don't have to protect everyone and everything at all times

    [–]strike089 0 points1 point ago

    Then meet the pack of dogs at my house. That pack has an alpha and will not tollerate any other dog to be higher then her. When an fight between the other dogs occur she will come to check on things and if necessary correct the situation. The only ones that have command over her is me and my family.

    [–]TheRealBigLou 0 points1 point ago

    I am mistaken. Your household of dogs clearly constitutes as a scientifically viable control group and will be upheld as evidence.

    [–]RoflCopter4 5 points6 points ago

    Dogs deserve respect, and if you respect them they are your best friend. They will follow you to hell and back, and they would die for you. Cats demand respect, and give none back.

    [–]catsfive -5 points-4 points ago*

    Cats, though fluffy and cute, are actually arrogant assholes.

    Cats demand respect, and give none back

    This is always so funny to me to read bullshit like this. First off, dogs are just blindly loyal. This isn't respect; respect is EARNED. How is a dog doing everything you want a sign of respect? It's merely a sycophantic reaction from an animal that's unable to perceive whether his owner his a good person. A dog will be loyal even if his owner is a meth addict. I have three cats and they worship me. They follow me around the house, meow to be picked up, and are generally sane, relaxed animals. My eldest cat is 22, and he's powering through his old age, keeping going just so he can stay in the fold and spend time with me. I scratch him while watching TV, and he reaches out and holds on to my arm. Thing is, though, when he was younger, he was SUPER independent. Wouldn't even let me pick him up. Now, he still won't, but he sleeps near my head, now, and purrs all night. A cat's respect must be earned, and, just like any real friend, you have to be committed to a long-term, two-way relationship where you consider what the cat wants, too. Daily attention, talking to them, petting the and playing with them, and presto, your cat will love you back. This is the difference between true cat owners and the rest of the dog "lovers" out there. I'm not the guiding star. Their world doesn't revolve just around me, but around whatever they feel like doing. Often, that's hanging with me, but sometimes they do their own thing. I'm just one of the cats. And that's the difference between cats and dogs.

    [–]IAMANiggerBiologist 0 points1 point ago

    Crazy cat person...

    [–]Freelancer68 1 point2 points ago

    I think she would prefer "cat-whisperer"

    [–]catsfive -1 points0 points ago

    By the downvotes, wow. Seems like there are a lot of cat haters in here.

    [–]MadDetective 0 points1 point ago

    You attacked someone who was being upvoted and called what they said bullshit, I think the downvotes have nothing to do with "hating cats" but with you being negative.

    [–]catsfive 0 points1 point ago

    Right, right... shit. Forgot. Note to self: Peel the foreskin back first before putting cock in my mouth. Got it.

    [–]catsfive 0 points1 point ago

    To quote those people:

    Cats, though fluffy and cute, are actually arrogant assholes. Cats demand respect, and give none back

    And I'm rude. Right.

    [–]Vaztes 1 point2 points ago

    Respect should be mutual among every living thing.

    [–]catsfive 0 points1 point ago

    Well, yeah, but... I don't think anyone's debating THAT.

    [–]DoctorPotatoe 0 points1 point ago

    So... Where exactly is the difference in what you are doing with your cats and what dog owners are doing with their dogs?

    [–]catsfive -1 points0 points ago

    Nothing, really. It depends on the owner. Both have to be bought into the concept that they have to earn the respect of their animals. It's just that I bristle at the idea that cats give their owners no respect. I am such a cat whisperer that I actually have several friends who insist that I am the one that comes over for a beer or three and cuts their cats' claws. I dunno. I unlock cats very easily. And I know what it takes to earn their trust. People that make statements like the above are usually very ignorant when it comes to cats and the dynamics of owning thriving animals.

    load more comments (4 replies)

      [–]dvdanny 0 points1 point ago

      If you don't think cats can actually hurt you... I don't think you have ever owned a cat.

      [–]LukaCola 0 points1 point ago

      I've had five cats :\

      Stop giving your cats shivs and maybe you wouldn't get so hurt...

      [–]dvdanny 0 points1 point ago

      They are born with those shivs

      [–]jonny00490 10 points11 points ago

      the difference 1 hour can make...

      [–]tk421dr 5 points6 points ago

      read title as catdog

      [–]KING_COCKASAURUS 7 points8 points ago

      how does it poop?

      [–]KingMotion 9 points10 points ago

      Yes.

      [–]bitcheslovedroids 1 point2 points ago

      42

      [–]gadios 1 point2 points ago

      Watching that as a child. That never occurred to me. Damn you ruining my childhood

      [–]thedoginthewok 0 points1 point ago

      That is the question!

      [–]IMoperator 0 points1 point ago

      What if they want to date different people?

      [–]elridan 0 points1 point ago

      bestiality is wrong unless you're in the correct subreddit, then it's in the proper place.

      [–]sekai-31 0 points1 point ago

      Do you really wanna know?

      [–]tk421dr 0 points1 point ago

      do you poop?

      [–]Philip_Marlowe 2 points3 points ago

      I've seen this a million times, but I still hear Kelsey Grammer reading the part of the cat, a la Sideshow Bob.

      [–]LetFlyYourMelons 4 points5 points ago

      Read the dogs voice in quagmires voice and the cats voice in a german accent

      [–]mezee 7 points8 points ago

      seems folks misinterpret attitude with intelligence. The same way people who get good grades are said to be the 'smart' ones, when that is not the case at all.

      [–]LeShok 1 point2 points ago

      I read the cat's entry in the voice of Ignatius J Reilly

      [–]IuriGragarian 1 point2 points ago

      The cat in this reminded me of Buzz Lightyear in the first Toy Story movie. In the beginning, when he thinks he's an actual space ranger.

      [–]Plexicraft 1 point2 points ago

      Did anyone else chant the dog one?

      [–]SleepyTurtle 1 point2 points ago

      there are some things so funny I'll upvote them every time they are reposted.

      [–]doot_doot 1 point2 points ago

      relevant

      [–]J3ff009 1 point2 points ago

      REPOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      [–]AtomicKing 10 points11 points ago

      Repost? Fuck it it's hilarious. Upvote.

      [–]Incredible_Mandible 18 points19 points ago

      REPOSTS! MY FAVORITE THING!

      [–]detzdude 2 points3 points ago

      FWD:FWD:RE:FWD:FWD

      [–]Wargall 3 points4 points ago

      http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/canine-corner/201012/are-dogs-more-intelligent-cats

      [–]Italian_Barrel_Roll 3 points4 points ago

      M-M-M-M-MEGA REPOST!

      [–]Tim_Kaiser 1 point2 points ago

      Craziness, I saw this on facebook before I saw this on reddit.

      [–]t24menon4u 1 point2 points ago

      I've never seen this before

      [–]live3orfry 1 point2 points ago

      oldoldoldoldoldoldoldold

      [–]OL7OR 0 points1 point ago

      This should be a series.

      [–]srs267 0 points1 point ago

      I found myself reading this in different voices in my head... Dog: Patrick Star. Cat: Sherlock Holmes.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

      This makes me want to get captured and start keeping a prisoners journal and plotting revenge against my captors.

      ...Looks like next weekend should be interesting.

      [–]Nummy_Naan 0 points1 point ago

      puppies!

      [–]Holiace 0 points1 point ago

      I promise you, we've tried to feed out cats all kinds of things, they've all preferred cat food. OR something weird like tomatoes and maize.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

      I imagine the "boop" dog and cat whenever I read this.

      [–]fechera 0 points1 point ago

      I was laughing the whole time while reading the cat's diary/

      [–]Rrkies 0 points1 point ago

      If the cat's diary would be a real book I would buy it!

      [–]tsnater 0 points1 point ago

      did anyone else read the cat part in stuey's voice from family guy?

      [–]matty_m 0 points1 point ago

      We chose dogs, Cats chose us.

      [–]Draiko 0 points1 point ago

      SQUIRREL! MY FAVORITE THI-SQUIRREL!

      [–]kmlodge 0 points1 point ago

      I've never seen this. Laughed my ass off eating alone in a restaurant. Thanks for reposting.

      [–]mike213player213 0 points1 point ago

      i had a cat and it loved us until it ran away.

      [–]Baldrick666 0 points1 point ago

      This is why Dogs are more fun.

      [–]mokomonkey 0 points1 point ago

      Anyone else read the cat's diary as Snape?

      [–]PalermoJohn 0 points1 point ago

      png

      [–]kraken_kitty 0 points1 point ago

      Yup, sounds like my cat . . .

      I wish I had a puppy too D:

      [–]lujanr32 0 points1 point ago

      Cat's Diary...I read it in Stewie's voice from Family Guy...

      [–]southpaw1983 0 points1 point ago

      Sooooooooooooooooooooo old, but I can't tell you how often I've tried retell this to people.

      [–]Sarcolemma 0 points1 point ago

      This felt as if it was the creature narrating in the book Frankenstein by Mary Shelley.

      [–]ScoobyM 0 points1 point ago

      1st time i saw it. funny

      [–]mmh074 0 points1 point ago

      I read the cat's section in professor snape's voice .. it was great

      [–]Reaca1461 0 points1 point ago

      I read the cat's diary in Patrick Stewart's voice.

      [–]domyates 0 points1 point ago

      Never seen this before, had to read each sentence of the Cat's Diary one at a time as I was crying with laughter.

      [–]ohwai 0 points1 point ago*

      Dogs go for the crotch, cats lose it with the armpit.

      Birds, on the other hand, will land on top of your head. That's when the real question begins forming...

      [–]lewok 0 points1 point ago

      this was easily the funniest thing i have seen today.

      [–]Dochambers 0 points1 point ago

      all of my win... you just stole it good sir.

      [–]ocyries 0 points1 point ago

      i guess i will have to start watching my cats more closely...

      [–]NonAmerican 0 points1 point ago

      This is - literally - older that reddit itself. But thanks for reminding me.

      [–]MasterAssassin 0 points1 point ago

      I read the cat's diary in Nigel Thornberry's voice...

      [–]sexymugglehealer 0 points1 point ago

      I read the cat's part in Stewie's voice... it was quite fitting...

      [–]Rag3Muffin 0 points1 point ago

      I couldn't read it. I read the first sentence of cat and started laughing like a creep and got stared at in the library.

      [–]thenari30 0 points1 point ago

      Classic

      [–]JayceMJ 0 points1 point ago

      I've never really understood these jokes. The only time I've ever seen a cat act the way people seem to think they act is in cartoons.

      [–]bleedscarlet 0 points1 point ago

      aaaaaaaaaancient repost

      [–]Jun3Bug 0 points1 point ago

      One fine day with a woof and a purr.....

      [–]nucksauce -1 points0 points ago

      The term "older than the internet" gets thrown around a lot these days...

      [–]Ragnalypse -2 points-1 points ago

      Okay? How do you account for the fact that most dogs are smarter than most cats?

      [–]exparrot -3 points-2 points ago

      FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: RE: RE: RE: RE: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: RE: RE: FW: FW: CATS vs. DOGS MUST READ HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

      [–]IfThisNameIsTaken -1 points0 points ago

      The dog can tell time much more impressive than the cats vocabulary.

      [–]littlemishaps -4 points-3 points ago

      Reposts! My favourite thing!

      [–]jet_tripleseven -1 points0 points ago

      I remember getting this as a forwarded email at least five years ago.

      [–][deleted] ago

      [deleted]

      [–]kallexander 2 points3 points ago

      Format that bitch.

      [–]elridan 2 points3 points ago

      word.wrap.please.

      [–]KSEVEN -3 points-2 points ago

      Dogs are smarter imo.

      load more comments (31 replies)

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