this post was submitted on
782 points (54% like it)
4,896 up votes 4,114 down votes

funny

subscribe2,367,616 readers

18,093 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 141 comments

[–]Deuce23 44 points45 points ago

"I wish my asshole taste buds were linked to his brain instead of mine"

Then head to the nearest Indian restaurant.

[–]Donland 9 points10 points ago

But, they only got 1 wish combined...unless he already had taste buds in his arsehole O.o

[–]Deuce23 6 points7 points ago

Well I think the wording is kinda ambiguous, so I'd go with the interpretation that doesn't kill the joke :D

[–]TheCodexx 3 points4 points ago

It works either way.

The second guy either doesn't have a wish or he needs to use his to undo the other guy's. You can have anything you want, but you're stuck with tastebuds in a very bad place if you do.

[–]joshjje 5 points6 points ago

Just wish to be the master of the universe and have full control over matter. Problem solved.

[–]bleeeker 5 points6 points ago

The universe immediately ceases to exist because you weren't concentrating.

[–]CrackersInMyCrack 2 points3 points ago

Wish for more wishes, people. Seriously who wouldn't do that?

[–]shadecrimson 2 points3 points ago

wish for poop to taste good.

[–]TheCodexx 1 point2 points ago

"I wish poop was the most delicious flavor in the world and tasting it would give me awesome superpowers."

Problem solved.

[–]Donland 1 point2 points ago

Oh, I wasn't complaining, I laughed & gave him/her an upvote; I was just pointing it out :P

[–]rjp0008 2 points3 points ago

[–]The_dog_says 1 point2 points ago

i feel like this would make them conjoined somehow.

[–]Deuce23 0 points1 point ago

You know, the genie could decide to be a dick about it (like genies usually do) and make it an actual physical connection. Like, nerves dangling from one guy's ass to the other's head. That would make some social situations awkward.

[–]InsulinDependent 72 points73 points ago

Justifiable homicide

[–]YouListening 22 points23 points ago

suicide

FTFY

[–]InsulinDependent 25 points26 points ago

murder suicide

[–]YouListening 7 points8 points ago

murder murder murder suicide. Asshole tastebuds make you do crazy things.

[–]Isunova 25 points26 points ago

Why were two kids helping an adult genie with geometry homework?

[–]notLOL 58 points59 points ago

Because the genie has a geometry test coming up.

[–]ERich2010 4 points5 points ago

i wish these comics had some sort of context.

i remember one a while back where every character was a mummy, and there was absolutely no reason for it.

[–]johnnypixel 7 points8 points ago

source:

Website

Comic

[–]VoodooTuna 207 points208 points ago

Previously on lost:

Time to switch to a liquid only diet.

submitted 14 days ago by /u/Soapbox to /r/funny | 15 points | 100% similar

My one wish

submitted 18 days ago by /u/FranklyBelgian to /r/funny | 2 points | 100% similar

It is done.

submitted 24 days ago by /u/wootitsbobby to /r/funny | 526 points | 100% similar

Wow... What an asshole

submitted 1 month ago by /u/CAPS_LOCK_LIAR to /r/funny | 1 point | 100% similar

Damn taste buds...

submitted 3 months ago by /u/Zherom to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu | 20 points | 100% similar

Thanks...-cough-asshole-cough-

submitted 4 months ago by /u/koewuzhere to /r/funny | 854 points | 100% similar

Taste Buds

submitted 3 months ago by /u/xdivinelyfex to /r/funny | 710 points | 99.66% similar

[–]reddit_stats 24 points25 points ago

User: VoodooTuna - Joined: 15th Oct 2011 (0y 5m 17d 23h 13m and 17s ago.)


241 Comments. 1 Posts (1 Links + 0 Self Posts). Totalling 28907 words.
Has received 1531 upvotes and 503 downvotes, giving a true karma score of 1028 (75% approval).

Comments 1.43 times per day (10.04 per week). (Hourly distribution)
Avg. 119.95 words per comment (longest comment was 1402 words).
Avg. 4.26 karma per comment (0.036 karma per word, 6.11 karma per day).
Avg. 1 karma per link.

Comments most in: /r/pics (Top 10 subreddits)


Most popular comment and link.
Least popular comment and link.

The reddit API is limited to the last 1000 comments meaning that stats may not always be representative of an accounts entire reddit career. Just ask if you want your stats removed. [FAQ]

[–]VoodooTuna 43 points44 points ago

Bot on Bot action.

[–]Stackware 4 points5 points ago

One day we'll find out you aren't a bot but in fact a very lonely person.

[–]reddit_stats 1 point2 points ago

Can't i be both?

[–]Stackware 0 points1 point ago

Fair enough, android.

[–]Cool_Hand 0 points1 point ago

Do me!!!

[–]reddit_stats 1 point2 points ago

User: Cool_Hand - Joined: 15th Jan 2012 (0y 2m 17d 23h 57m and 31s ago.)


42 Comments. 2 Posts (1 Links + 1 Self Posts). Totalling 397 words.
Has received 4321 upvotes and 2760 downvotes, giving a true karma score of 1561 (61% approval).

Comments 0.59 times per day (4.14 per week). (Hourly distribution)
Avg. 8.07 words per comment (longest comment was 37 words).
Avg. 5.12 karma per comment (0.634 karma per word, 3.03 karma per day).
Avg. 1062 karma per link.

Comments most in: /r/nba (Top 10 subreddits)


Most popular comment, link and self post.
Least popular comment, link and self post.

The reddit API is limited to the last 1000 comments meaning that stats may not always be representative of an accounts entire reddit career. Just ask if you want your stats removed. [FAQ]

[–]Cool_Hand 0 points1 point ago

thanks pal

[–]Admiral_Sarcasm -1 points0 points ago

Do me?

[–]reddit_stats 0 points1 point ago

User: Admiral_Sarcasm - Joined: 14th Dec 2010 (1y 3m 20d 15h 33m and 40s ago.)


620 Comments. 33 Posts (8 Links + 25 Self Posts). Totalling 8230 words.
Has received 6376 upvotes and 1966 downvotes, giving a true karma score of 4410 (76% approval).

Comments 1.3 times per day (9.12 per week). (Hourly distribution)
Avg. 10.99 words per comment (longest comment was 1099 words).
Avg. 6.1 karma per comment (0.555 karma per word, 7.94 karma per day).
Avg. 47.63 karma per link.

Comments most in: /r/AskReddit (Top 10 subreddits)


Most popular comment, link and self post.
Least popular comment, link and self post.

The reddit API is limited to the last 1000 comments meaning that stats may not always be representative of an accounts entire reddit career. Just ask if you want your stats removed. [FAQ]

[–]cosmictroll -4 points-3 points ago

Do me! do me!

[–]reddit_stats 0 points1 point ago

User: cosmictroll - Joined: 16th Apr 2011 (0y 11m 22d 2h 11m and 46s ago.)


60 Comments. 1 Posts (1 Links + 0 Self Posts). Totalling 615 words.
Has received 501 upvotes and 83 downvotes, giving a true karma score of 418 (86% approval).

Comments 0.37 times per day (2.61 per week). (Hourly distribution)
Avg. 10.25 words per comment (longest comment was 37 words).
Avg. 6.37 karma per comment (0.621 karma per word, 2.37 karma per day).
Avg. 33 karma per link.

Comments most in: /r/funny (Top 10 subreddits)


Most popular comment and link.
Least popular comment and link.

The reddit API is limited to the last 1000 comments meaning that stats may not always be representative of an accounts entire reddit career. Just ask if you want your stats removed. [FAQ]

[–]cosmictroll 0 points1 point ago

Thank you!

[–]interflop 114 points115 points ago

IT'S NEW TO ME SO IT DESERVES AN UPVOTE

[–]Brianne123 17 points18 points ago

Agreed. I laughed pretty hard at his face.

[–]Esteam 24 points25 points ago

STOP MAKING REDDIT BAD

[–]AncestralTuna 1 point2 points ago

We get along so well, don't we

[–]omnidirectional 0 points1 point ago*

I like the "Repost Identifier" bot, but here are some suggestions:

1) List the reposts in chronological order. The repost that was the first reddit post should be on top.

2) Is there some way to merge the posts?

Keep up the good work RePostBot

EDIT: changed "original" to "first reddit post". As sihnon pointed out, the original version of the post probably came from a source outside of reddit.

[–]sihnon 3 points4 points ago

The repost that was the original should be on top

Uh... if it was the original, surely it isn't a repost? :p

[–]MegaJawa 73 points74 points ago

This fucking comic makes me so mad. This guy only gets one wish - He can wish for anything, money, women, power, but instead the fucker wishes the other guy had tastebuds in his asshole just so he'll wish he didn't. This wastes both of their wishes in one sitting. What a fucking douche.

[–]Deformed_Crab 38 points39 points ago

They only have one wish in total I think. So basically the other one is fucked.

[–]Lord_Nuke 36 points37 points ago

"I wish my shit always tastes better than the food it takes to make it."

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Lord_Nuke 14 points15 points ago

That'd be monkeys paw logic. Most genies are straight up with the wishes.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

Genie AMA!

[–]Noname_acc 7 points8 points ago

This guy's name is Straight_Truth, I think we can trust him.

[–]Lord_Nuke 2 points3 points ago

In that case, I wish Stephen Harper's asshole had tastebuds.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Lord_Nuke 4 points5 points ago

His OTHER asshole

[–]PapaGator 0 points1 point ago

Genie expert here. Straight_Truth is correct.

[–]Kassertan 2 points3 points ago

Nice try, Genie.

[–]Lord_Nuke 2 points3 points ago

Sounds like someone who likes to find out what their shit tastes like

[–]Sethling 1 point2 points ago

...of course

[–]PFisken 18 points19 points ago

It's even worse. They get one wish to share, so the other guy can't even wish it away.

[–]chunkypuddles 1 point2 points ago

But, you're assuming the second guy, the one without a wish, is a nice guy. For all you know, he's an unbelievable douche bag who had this coming. He could have robbed a bank. Or slapped the other guys mom. Or pushed his cat down some stairs.

That, or the wisher is just a dick.

[–]James1o1o 1 point2 points ago

Wish for 3 more wishes.

  1. Remove asshole tastebuds.
  2. Kill friend.
  3. Wealth and Women.

[–]_Pohaku_ 1 point2 points ago

If I had taste buds in my asshole, and one wish, I would not wish to have no tastebuds in my asshole.

If I have three wishes it might be in there, but one wish? Nuh-uh. I'll taste the shit.

[–]freshment 0 points1 point ago

"I wish he tasted from my asshole's tastebuds."

[–]Scorm93 0 points1 point ago

That's what makes it funny.

[–]MrBrawn 0 points1 point ago

OR is the second guy so vindictive that he will live with the taste buds and wish the same for his friend?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Scorm93 0 points1 point ago

This is one repost I still laugh at every time.

[–]SimilarImage 21 points22 points ago

Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
4 months koewuzhere Thanks...-cough-asshole-cough- here 173 854
3 months xdivinelyfex Taste Buds here 74 710
3 weeks wootitsbobby It is done. here 50 526

This is an automated response

FAQ | Send Feedback | Report Error

[–]NotAJewFro 2 points3 points ago

This is the first time I've seen this, i'm literally in tears. Oh god.

[–]Fauchelevent 1 point2 points ago

I started laughing at this and my wife mentioned that I giggle like a girl. So, thanks for that I guess.

[–]chunkypuddles 1 point2 points ago

OH GOD! THE COFFEE! IT'S EVERYWHERE!

[–]Dv9UnKnoWn 1 point2 points ago

Repost?

[–]rizwan_k 1 point2 points ago

I had one class with the artist of this comic, of course I always point that out whenever I see one of his works, kinda feels like I know someone famous. :D

[–]nintendo65 1 point2 points ago

I think reposting this comic is the secret to making the front page of reddit.

[–]geft 1 point2 points ago

Without the appropriate nerve connections, those taste buds do nothing.

[–]ssjaken 0 points1 point ago

What a jackass man. Buzz Killington is alive and well.

[–]OffersNothing 2 points3 points ago*

Easily fixable.

"I wish my shit had the taste of the finest cuisine."

Edit: Or am I an idiot and it's one wish for the two of them, not one wish each?

[–]InsulinDependent 12 points13 points ago

one wish total

[–]OffersNothing 0 points1 point ago

Well, that makes sense. The whole "both of you ONE WISH" thing should have been a sign.

[–]samtheredditman 2 points3 points ago

If there were two wishes I would've just wished that I didn't have tastebuds in my butt.

[–]OffersNothing 0 points1 point ago

Hey now, why not just supplement it? There's a bunch of potential wishes here.

[–]justwtf 0 points1 point ago

I would wait till the other guy made his wish first. Blurting out an absurdly cruel wish like that gives him the chance to use his wish to do something even more grotesque to me.

[–]grisbilen 1 point2 points ago

Why not just wish for a universal remote that controls everything in the universe?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I smell a movie...

[–]realfinkployd 0 points1 point ago

As opposed to "fixing" the first wish?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Or, reverse his wish.

[–]Calibansdaydream 0 points1 point ago

why would a genie need help with geometry?

[–]cpenny20 0 points1 point ago

i love that the genie is like 50 and pissed off and has geometry homework

[–]dylansan 0 points1 point ago

If there was indeed only one wish between them, couldn't he have surgery to remove the tastebuds, at the very least?

[–]mightyblend 0 points1 point ago

I don't know why this hasn't gotten old yet. But it hasn't.

[–]SatanLovesUsAll 0 points1 point ago

What I never got was why a genie had geometry homework...

[–]Sobertese 0 points1 point ago

And I wish HE had to taste with them. Also corn beef and cabbage please.

[–]tckotb 0 points1 point ago

In this situation I would wish that I had complete control over all matter and energy. Problem solved.

[–]RNRSaturday 0 points1 point ago

If I had that wish, it would be that this comic didn't make it to the front page every week. Not that I mind reposts, but I think they should be required at least to have boobs or cats.

[–]REPOST-POLICE-69 0 points1 point ago

REPOST!!!!!!

[–]iamhowardxd 0 points1 point ago

But if there's no saliva then there's no taste ?

[–]bakinwithbacon 0 points1 point ago

When I look at the last panel I imagine Archer chuckling.

[–]PR3DAT0R616 0 points1 point ago

god this makes me laugh every time... especially the guys face after the wish is made ahaa

[–]MattyAmerica1 -2 points-1 points ago

I will upvote this every time i see it.

[–]Xzatrik 0 points1 point ago

I don't laugh out loud, but when I do, It's because you posted the funniest shit I've ever seen. srsly. I like et a lot.

[–]RomanSoulfire -2 points-1 points ago

lol'd big time

[–]twentynine29 -1 points0 points ago

repost

[–]Trikester -4 points-3 points ago

This deserves to be reported I laugh every time I see it

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

I haven't lol'd that hard in awhile

[–]lizzykins97 -5 points-4 points ago*

Taste buds aren't really that sensitive.... You really taste with your nose more than your tongue. It's like eating when you have a cold.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taste

[–]InsulinDependent 2 points3 points ago

i can taste shit when i have a cold

[–]ForgettableUsername 2 points3 points ago

That sounds like a disgusting story.

[–]InsulinDependent 0 points1 point ago

don't judge me

[–]geft 0 points1 point ago*

Source?

[–]McDownvoteYou -5 points-4 points ago

what are reposts for.....................................................................................DOWNVOTE FOR YOU

[–]SplodeyDope[S] -2 points-1 points ago

Back at ya.