this post was submitted on
328 points (67% like it)
632 up votes 304 down votes
shortlink:

funny

subscribe2,471,492 readers

6,862 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).

Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.

If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.

CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for
to anything interesting: news article, blog entry, video, picture...
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

327
328

This is a WASP! (for old time's sake) (27.media.tumblr.com)

submitted ago by hooknife

all 41 comments
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

At 8 years old i raised my suction cup bow and arrow and zeroed in on a wasp nest in the back yard. I knew what i was doing. I was ready. I was going to take those fuckers down. After steadying my hand i released the arrow and watched it fly. Dead on shot. I was a hunter.

but then... fear... the nest dropped to the ground and a cloud dark as night arose with a low buzz. fuck. I knew what was about to happen. There was hope. I ran like the wind. I was fast. Rounding the corner of the house i flew across the yard thinking I had made it. after another 20 yards(yes it was a big yard) i knew i was safe.

Until. ZAp!!!! zINg!! I fell to the ground in agony. How could it be. two stings simultaneously through my plaid shirt. The pain. The tears. the Bastards!

From 8 years on I will never... EVER.. Fuck with a wasp again.

[–]The_Billy 1 point2 points ago

When I was around 7 or 8 I was in the woods with my dad I had to take a piss. So I did. But when I did it was right on a frickin wasp nest and I realized this, yelled for my dad and ran. I quickly ran out of energy but my dad picked me up and ran us back to the car he got stung, I didn't we then drove away. Do not fuck with a wasp. EVER.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

crazy how they zero in and follow you.

[–]MissQuerade 1 point2 points ago

When I was about 5 or 6 I was in a wooded area crossing a plank of wood over a stream in my friends cousins back yard. It was a beautiful summer day, and I was wearing my sunniest yellow tshirt and shorts, out on an adventure with my friends. Then suddenly a wasp shows up. I was stricken with fear, and my friends shouted STAND STILL! I was stuck on a thin board wobbling dangerously close to the bubbling water below. The wasp buzzed around my head carefully deciding what he wanted to do, and then dread washed over me as that wasp landed on my earlobe, and CRAWLED INSIDE. I stifled a sob as I bit my lip. The buzzing was deafening. I was there for what seemed like hours, (but was more likely several minutes). Eventually the wasp flew out of my ear. I let out a sigh of relief, until I noticed the panicked look on my friends face as I looked just in time to see the wasp fly up his shorts. We all ran screaming from the yard. Since then, I avoid wearing the colour yellow.

[–]Shuggus 3 points4 points ago

THIS Is a WASP (FIXED)

Read about it in the bible

[–]Bruc3w4yn3 1 point2 points ago

WHAT is he putting in that child's rear end?!

[–]Shuggus 3 points4 points ago

christian values

[–]storm_a_geddon 3 points4 points ago

When reposts become nostalgia

[–]d1z 2 points3 points ago

How I deal with Mr. Wasp(true story)

  1. Swat lone wasp to ground with open hand.

  2. Smash under foot.

  3. Find nest and decimate it with spray foam poison.

  4. Cross fingers and hope that karmic reincarnation is a myth.

[–]HelmSpicy 2 points3 points ago

I currently have a wasp nest above my balcony door. Unseasonably warm weather awoke them temporarily, but return to seasonal temperatures have sent them back to sleep. I have a can of wasp killing spray, but am trying to muster the courage to take on such an opponent when my only escape routs after assault are to run towards the nest to get through the door, or take a 3 story leap of faith...wish me luck.

[–]phillipniblett 4 points5 points ago

I have been attacked by a swarm of European wasps in 2009, 40 something stings on my back, 10 on my hand and about 7 on my face. I was running like a motherfucker for a good 2 minutes trying to get away from the carnage. needless to say I never went outside ever again and I don't plan to anytime soon.

[–]joetromboni 3 points4 points ago

I remember the original post too

[–]Crim91 5 points6 points ago

I once saw two wasps just chilling in my pool, so i got a clear container and made those fuckers my prisoners, and watch them battle it out. Shit was banana's bro.

[–]HailPresidentSkroob 1 point2 points ago

Obviously you've never had a fig before.

[–]omplatt 1 point2 points ago

bee=bros

wasps≠bros

[–]IM_NOT_KARMANAUT 0 points1 point ago*

It was originally posted on March 24th, 2010. PawPaw-gate happened a few months later in June. Those were some fun times on Reddit.

[–]Jewlala 0 points1 point ago

Or you kill them endlessly by the pump well with your sister on an Ontario camping trip (with sandals).

[–]ZenMasterFlash 0 points1 point ago

Aint that the truth.

[–]phillibl 0 points1 point ago

Or you could just kill it, they are very weak.

[–]nosferatu_zodd 0 points1 point ago

I thought this was going to be a joke about white anglo saxon protestants. I kill flying wasps when i see them, they aren't gonna fuck up my day.

[–]wintremute 0 points1 point ago

Fuck, I hate WASPs.

[–]hrbeansie 0 points1 point ago

Hah its so true! The little bastards

[–]Spacejew32 0 points1 point ago

Wasps do pollinate, they suck and I hate them, but they do pollinate.

[–]gam8it 0 points1 point ago

ha ha

wasps do pollinate stuff and also kill other shit that is much more damaging and annoying than a wasp (unless you're a pussy and are afraid of wasps)

Edit: also - pretty sure that's a Hornet

[–]fr00bl3t 0 points1 point ago

i take rubber bands shoot wasps.

[–]Hruigo 0 points1 point ago

My greatest fear.

[–]bootclunk 0 points1 point ago

a wasp flew into my can of sprite. i drank from it, notice something crunchy in my mouth, and spit the wasp out.

didn't get stung though. LUCK!

[–]Ryuzaki4x -1 points0 points ago

people say they kill spiders but i havent seen it happen once, except in Wild Wild West

[–]twitchblade87 1 point2 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi56-pZSrWo

[–]BabyFetusMuncher -1 points0 points ago

accidentally sat on a wasp nest that was hidden by a rock.. the fuckers got in my shirt and pants. got bit like 10 times. bastards!

[–]OneFreeman1 -1 points0 points ago

Stung.

[–]9_out_of_10_dentists 0 points1 point ago

Wasps bite...

[–]OneFreeman1 -2 points-1 points ago

OK at best they bite and sting.

[–]epete2007 -2 points-1 points ago

this never gets old.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]snake117 7 points8 points ago

If your afraid of flies, your a vagina, if this was fake, your dumb.

[–]retry808 0 points1 point ago

You're* :)

[–]snake117 1 point2 points ago

Thanks

[–]puckallday 2 points3 points ago

Well there's your problem right there. Even the wasps are pussies in Ohio.

[–]BabyFetusMuncher 0 points1 point ago

Wasps don't sting; they bite. One wasp can bite multiple times. They are way worse than bees, and hurt way more. Wasps are not to be fucked around with.

[–]dapostrophus 0 points1 point ago

Wasps do have stingers with venom on the tips of their tails, just like bees, and they use them. Look it up.

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. © 2012 reddit inc. All rights reserved.

REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

π Rendered by PID 32382 on app-114 running e31913e.