There are times doctors do testing and it looks like something is wrong when there is nothing wrong. Sometimes the opposite happens. First 20 weeks, my daughter was fine. The doctor said she ordered a level 2 ultrasound because she was just a little small. By 26 weeks, when the level 2 was done, she was 2 weeks behind the growth curve, but that was it. The doctors started doing more scans and non stress tests every other day to make sure she was okay. At 29 weeks she wasn't moving around so they delivered her by emergency c section. She was 1 lb. 12 oz, 12 inches long. My husband was allowed to see her as they worked on her (she needed a breathing tube). When he came back, they were still closing me up. He didn't know if he should tell me something was wrong, and I insisted. She has a split finger on one hand, one foot had a big space between the big toe and the other toes with the middle toe fused to the the toe next to it, and on the other foot her middle toe was also fused but not as bad. We did not care how it looked, we were worried about how it would affect her mobility and if it meant something else was going on. This was a Friday, and the geneticist told us they couldn't do test until Monday and they test could take a few days to a few weeks to come back. We could see that he had something in mind, but he said nothing. We did our own research, but everything else seemed fine so we didn't want to believe the worst. Three days later we found out about the three heart defects. They had to let her grow before they could operate, if they could. We knew it was potentially bad. But her brain scan was perfect, no bleeds and the only thing that seemed to be on track. We didn't care what problems she had. She was ours and she was beautiful and we wanted her to live more than anything. On day six it all fell apart. She was not doing well and they were at the limit of what they could do. That night we found out what we feared, she had trisomy 18 also known as Edward's syndrome. She was not going to make it through the night. My husband and I had to make the hardest decision of our lives; take her off life support and hold her for the first and only time, or leave her on life support and hold her after she had passed. The life support would give her maybe an extra few hours, but we wanted her to know how much we loved her. Our families came in and said goodbye and after they left, my husband and I held our baby girl for the first and only time. She died peacefully in my arms as we sang her a lullaby. It was the most beautiful and horrible moment of my life. Six months later I am still trying to shift through all the hurt. One thing is certain. If I had known, I would have had her anyway. We all loved her. She was a real person. She fought so hard to live (most with trisomy 18 are second trimester miscarriages). She wasn't suffering, we never would allow that. She touch so many lives and knowing her changed me forever. These children are not monsters. My daughter had my husband's brown eyes and my sandy colored hair. She knew us, recognizing our voices, holding our hands, and paying such attention when we talked to her and read to her. She knew she was loved. And I would have given anything for more time with her. If she could have survived, there is nothing my husband, myself, and our families wouldn't have done for her. This is a decision that is very personal. I do not judge others for choosing abortion, especially with certain diseases that mean only suffering and pain. I just want to point out that it is not black and white. The love a parent has for his or her child is a deep emotion one cannot fully grasp until a person experiences it for his or her self. There is more to every story and love comes in many different forms.

Sorry for the lack of paragraphs and any error. This is a very emotional topic for me and I am crying too much to bother with grammar and the like.

tl;dr: There is more to every story and love comes in many forms. Don't judge people until you walk a mile in their shoes.