I kind of want to do this to someone

suddenlyreddit · 9 months

I had to babysit my boss's 5 year old son whom she brought to work and dumped at my cube for about 4 hours. She of course didn't tell me beforehand, did not ask if I had time for that, and picked me instead of some responsible actual parent of a child. So, naturally dropping the thought of any - actual - work I had piled up, I made it my job to teach him some annoying phrases.

The entire day I said, "man," and, "coolies," except I over-pronounced them the entire time as: "maaaaaaaaannnnnnn" and "cooooooooolieeeeees."

He followed me the entire afternoon, we went outside, we played solitaire on work PC's, we had soda and cookies, and in general, talked and did whatever he wanted to the point he was beaming from having a great time. When around other coworkers I winked and let them in on the pronunciation joke as well, everyone played the game.

Cut to about two weeks later. The boss pops into my office and asks me, "what the fuck did you do to my son? He won't shut up with saying man and coolies all the time." Me: "Nothing, he was pretty quiet and played by himself the whole time. I think Linda in accounting stopped by to say hello to him for a bit." Linda, of course, was my boss's archenemy at work. Sometimes, getting back at someone takes patience.

TL;DR: Maaaaaaaannnnn. Cooooooooolieeeees.

rosstronica · 9 months

Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis.

EdricStorm · 9 months

I just did this to my son yesterday.

Except it was the word "Butt"

And it was hilarious.

thebay64 · 9 months

You could do this with the word Reddit

Then the parents will search for it on Google

Find Reddit and waste their lives in the interwebs

I'm evil

msmack · 9 months

I believe that may result in arrest, incarceration, and having to file as a sexual offender....but don't let that stop you.

Teslanaut · 9 months

Is it pedophilia?

Guinness3102 · 9 months

My grandfather did that to my brother...he says shit a lot, he doesn't know why.

adentist002 · 9 months

Kind of? KIND OF??????!?!?!?!??!?!

munchbard · 9 months

I've been trying this on my baby cousin. Instead of penis, I've been trying 'braaaiinnns'.

TripperDay · 9 months

This is absurdly easy to do at a certain age. My sister is lucky I don't live near her and her family.

vkevlar · 9 months

A friend of mine (who's still a friend) still reminds me that I taught her daughter her first word: "Cthulhu".

[deleted] · 9 months

As a parent I can tell you I wouldn't be horrified one bit. You should hear the shit that comes out of little kids' mouths. They repeat EVERYTHING they hear.

So try raising kids in an urban environment, where they have to step over the occassional hobo or walk past a methadone clinic

jeffydomer · 9 months

I had a friend in high school, who used to do this to kids she babysat.

tjmayo · 9 months

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKpZeanYRJQ

kaimason1 · 9 months

You are a horrible person.

griffith12 · 9 months

take some Tylenol beforehand. Your face will thank you.

Pindaroo · 9 months

I once inadvertently did this to a customer's kid with the word "Shazam". I was troubleshooting a cellphone, getting annoyed, solved the problem and yelled "Shazam" and suddenly the little kid (like 1-2 years old) starts yelling "Shazam" over and over.

Darktidemage · 9 months

There was a kid being extremely loud and annoying on the subway one day and the fucking parents were not telling the kid to be quiet at all. I almost started saying FUCK really loud over and over to get the kid to start saying it before I got off.

Dr_Oops · 9 months

I do this to my best friends lil punk, he's three, and knows every curse word in the books.

so proud!

scumbag-reddit · 9 months

New goal. Worth 3000 xp.

SelectaRx · 9 months

A friend of mine taught another friends son the word "pervert" one day. Everyone thought it was hilarious until his dad took the kid to the playground and the kid decided he didn't want to leave.

[deleted] · 9 months

My kid says fuck and damnit in context. Pretty sure that beats the word penis.

zzt711 · 9 months

Reminds me of my uncle, and damn do I miss him..

Anyhoo, when I was young around the time when learning how to speak my uncle would teach me naughty/awkward phrases. My mom hated this, he was a true troll, but she was desperate for a sitter for whatever reason. This is her favorite story..

On one sunny day I was in the car with my parents who were driving downtown to do some shopping. All the windows were rolled down since it was hot and we hit a stoplight. Stopped next to us was a blond driving a convertible and from out of the blue (still in my baby seat) I yell at the woman "Hey sexy lady, want a bite of my banana?", twice...

I had no idea what I was saying, but she looked at us fierce > right at my dad who was driving, she then said something harsh and sped off.

My dad was shocked, speechless, and turned beet red. Moments pass and he turns to my mom and yells "What the hell are you teaching our son?!?" They get into a huge argument, mom try's to explain that it was probably uncle, yadda, yadda..

The next time my mom and I see uncle she relates the story to him. He responds by laughing and gloating, mom was yelling at him, that's a moment I won't ever forget.

Man.. he was my coolest uncle, gave the best presents (or took me to the toy store to pick), even got me my first videogame, cooked great, was always there for us if we needed help, and damn I still miss him. R.I.P. uncle!

Bitshift71 · 9 months

Stay. Away. From. My. Daughters.

Dannmann93 · 9 months

Good luck my friend and get ready to lose some teeth.

simmonsconner · 9 months

I don't think the parents would take it that calmly

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