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Remember this the next time your cat wants to lick you. (imgur.com)
submitted 6 months ago by prolapsedrectum
[–]nancylikestoreddit 105 points106 points107 points 6 months ago
My cat licks me with his cactus tongue all the time. He once got one of my eyeballs. It didn't feel good at all.
[–]cyvaris 35 points36 points37 points 6 months ago
When I am sleeping my cat enjoys pulling my eyelids open with one of her claws. She usually does this around 3-4 in the morning.
[–]kattevoer 79 points80 points81 points 6 months ago
Its not your cat doing that...
[–]vodkamartini 72 points73 points74 points 6 months ago
Thanks. I guess I really didn't need to sleep ever again.
[–]cyvaris 32 points33 points34 points 6 months ago
No, I'm pretty sure its my cat. She'll wake me up, meow loudly....then leave. I think she is checking to see if I'm alive.
[–]treenaks 56 points57 points58 points 6 months ago
She's checking to see if it's safe to start eating you.
[–]4se 20 points21 points22 points 6 months ago
Yeah, in reality she checking to see if you're dead. When you're not, she returns tomorrow with renewed hope.
[–]cyvaris 11 points12 points13 points 6 months ago
I wouldn't expect anything different from a cat.
[–]211530250 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Is this true!?
[–]LouisianaBob 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
If you don't want me to eat you... say something.
[–]EvanMacIan 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
I waiting for it to jump out at me. I was disappointed.
[–]Viking_Lordbeast 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Damn, I didn't even look at it long enough to know that it was moving.
[–]footwo 5 points6 points7 points 6 months ago
What is that from?
[–]cgd2302 7 points8 points9 points 6 months ago
it was the only decent part of the movie, I am not answering you for your own good.
[–]footwo 8 points9 points10 points 6 months ago
Thanks Dad.
[–]kattevoer 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
i googled reddit creepy face... done.
[–]footwo -3 points-2 points-1 points 6 months ago
Your failure to answer my question properly has resulted in the death of several cute bunnies/kitties/whatever. I hope you are happy with yourself.
[–]kattevoer 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
in other words i dont know...
[–]CausesAndEffects 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
See the link. Read the comments. Know not to click.
Click anyway. Resume inability to sleep.
[–]nancylikestoreddit 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
I shit my pants.
[–]CloneDeath 5 points6 points7 points 6 months ago
O.O Can't sleep
[–]I_Post_Drunk 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I hate everything.
[–]theryman 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
.gif. ABORT. ABORT.
[–]Alien1993 -15 points-14 points-13 points 6 months ago
NOPE!NOPE!NOPE!NOPE!NOPE!NOPE!NOPE!NOPE!NOPE!NOPE!NOPE!NOPE!NOPE!NOPE!NOPE!
WARNING! BEWARE! SCARY!
But I bet you're going to click anyway. ಠ_ಠ
[–]aFlyingGuru 8 points9 points10 points 6 months ago
you took it too far bro
[–]nancylikestoreddit 5 points6 points7 points 6 months ago
Dude, that must hurt like a mofo.
My cat makes biscuits on me. I never declawed him because I thought it was a cruel thing to do. When he makes biscuits, I feel like declawing him right then and there.
[–]mainstreaminghipster 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
you're joking, right?
[–]cyvaris 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
Nope. My cat is a bitch. She'll walk in, pry my eye open, then just leave. Sometimes she'll just sit on my chest while I sleep, but most of the time she messes with me in some way.
Oh yeah she weighs sixteen pounds.
[–]nancylikestoreddit 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
...she sits on your chest? At 16 lbs, that sounds like an intent to murder you.
[–]cyvaris 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
Some nights if I'm fast enough I can grab her and pull her in close to snuggle. She starts crying, but that just makes me squeeze tighter.
TWO can play this game!
[–]nancylikestoreddit 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
I like the way you think.
[–]QAOP_Space 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
my brothers cat would come in to the bedroom in the morning, really early, and put a paw on his face, and gradually over a few minutes dig its claws in. "Time to get up and feed me now."
[–]Ulys 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
That's why you don't feed them in the morning
[–]lysogenic 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
LOL so cute. And bitchy. My cat sits on my chest while I sleep, but she is only about 8 pounds. Eeee I love when cats climb on me :D
[–]LoveFluffyBunny 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
My 18 pound cat does the same thing to me. When he wants food he gets it...
[–]SmoothWD40 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
My cat tried to jump on top of me while sleeping once, and only once.
[–]holdinicedteas 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
One of my (two) cats spoons with me. It's a little awkward though, since I like being the smaller spoon.
[–]ThePeopleMechanic -29 points-28 points-27 points 6 months ago
LOL
[–]tranpants 49 points50 points51 points 6 months ago
I'm more worried about what the cat's licked before me.
[–]vodkamartini 11 points12 points13 points 6 months ago
People say all the time how cats are so much cleaner than we are... but mine are not shy about putting their anuses on display. I know exactly what they lick and I do not want it licking me.
[–]Berdiie 5 points6 points7 points 6 months ago
I believe cat's have a disinfectant or something similar in their saliva which aids them in cleaning. It's possible that even licking their own ass they have cleaner mouths than we do, but I still push them away when they try to do it directly after cleaning themselves.
[–]cata2k 16 points17 points18 points 6 months ago
I did an experiment in a biology course on this exact thing. I grew cultures from swabs of my two cat's mouths and two of a friend's dog's. There was no noticable difference. I still let them lick me though, because it tickles and I have a working immune system.
[–]vodkamartini 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Yep. Gross vibes. I don't want an ass-mouth touching my face. I also hate when they touch me with their paws because I know exactly what they walk in every day.
[–]MisterWharf 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I've never heard someone say cats are cleaner than people. Dogs, yes. People, no way.
[–][deleted] 6 months ago
[deleted]
[–]The-Somnambulist 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
[citation needed]
[–]moonblade89 52 points53 points54 points 6 months ago
talking from experience?
[–]Dirt_Bike_Zero 13 points14 points15 points 6 months ago
Thanks for the laugh. It's all fun and games til you get a cat dick stuck in you.
[–]Gintamen 10 points11 points12 points 6 months ago
As do some humans and it's called Hirsuties papillaris coronae glandis . Of course NSFW, being a penis and such.
[–]bonochromatic 43 points44 points45 points 6 months ago
NSFW
My boss here at the penis clinic would beg to differ.
[–]Gintamen 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
Of course it's not the same thing, but the shape is quiet similar.
[–]Dominioningurass 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Just wondering why you posted the german link to penis horns and not the english one.
[–]Dominioningurass 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
Well stabbing in the dark doesn't sound like a very good idea, why not turn on the lights you goof ball.
[–]ThePain 26 points27 points28 points 6 months ago
http://i.imgur.com/Vscgo.jpg
[–]EvanMacIan 13 points14 points15 points 6 months ago
I don't know, the "goofball" part gave it a certain charm.
[–]notoriousmunkee 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
aww fuck *looks at penis... no... FUCK, I think I have that
[–]asphalt_licker 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
I have that. I used to think something was wrong with my penis til I did my research.
[–]EpicFishFingers 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
looks at bellend
It's all cool
[–]eddeh 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Note to self: read whole post, before clicking on link at work
[–]xXBlUnTsM0KA420Xx 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
You know when I first heard cats have penis spines I thought it meant an actual spine. I then imagined how cool it would be to have a bendable penis. Seriously if you think about it for long enough, you really start to hate this god guy for not putting our spines in our dicks. I wouldn't even care if I couldn't move, I could have a bendy cock.
[–]anna-banana 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
wat
[–]iweararubber 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
If you're not a veterinarian...
[–]Fauxami 12 points13 points14 points 6 months ago
Feels good man.
[–]alwaysballsdeep 24 points25 points26 points 6 months ago
Were anti rape condoms inspired by a cat's tongue?
[–]Timehog 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
DUCK VAGINAS
[–]feureau 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
I think it was inspired by the vagina dentata
[–]Caladriel 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Teeth
[–]noddegamra 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
VAGINA DENTATA!!!! ITS REAL!!!!
[–]Evanescent_contrail 9 points10 points11 points 6 months ago
Never let yourself be licked by an animal with a clean asshole.
That's what I always say.
[–]anna-banana 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
I got a sudden vision of your grandchildren sitting on your lap and you telling them this valuable advice.
[–]Leppter 19 points20 points21 points 6 months ago
Haha, nothing wrong with cats tongues. I always found it amusing when my cat tried to lick me and couldn't get any forward momentum because the friction was too high. Im sure this will sound dodgy typed out but what the hell....
[–]lightball2000 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Mmm, body chocolate! Want a lick?
[–]zaemos 8 points9 points10 points 6 months ago
perfect way to comb my hair
[–]InsertDiscSeven 8 points9 points10 points 6 months ago
"Oh, what's that smell?"
"Cat balls."
[–]powerchicken 7 points8 points9 points 6 months ago
The balls of a cat are more hygienic than your face, but okay.
[–]TheDespondentZombie 15 points16 points17 points 6 months ago
I still rather touch my dirty face than my cat's pristine balls.
[–]keraneuology 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
You have been immortalized in /r/nocontext
[–]crusaderofsin 14 points15 points16 points 6 months ago
So that's why their tongue feels rough when they lick you. TIL.
[–]anna-banana 10 points11 points12 points 6 months ago
Yeah, I think they're called papillae.
[–]jimb3rt 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
they are
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
he is
[–]211530250 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
she shouldn't
[–]bahnder 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
we did. :(
[–]FoxNewsReporter3 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
I saw!
[–]Grape_Accusations 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
don't care..
[–]mypetridish 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
but it is not piercing sharp is it? it feels rough and dry, but is it really dry?
[–]jackryan4x 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
No they are meant to rip flesh from bone off their prey. They are for grip, not for death, which their teeth and claws well make up for.
It's rough but pleasantly moist.
[–]Bakufun 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
Their spit is also a natural, and quite powerful, cleaning solution.
[–]Bilkokuya 7 points8 points9 points 6 months ago
"Billy Mays here with a brand new natural....
[–]DarkerMaster 13 points14 points15 points 6 months ago
Needs more caps...like this...
HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR CAT SPIT!!!!
[–]vyralinfection 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
I miss Billy Mays, he made it fun to watch infomercials.
[–]MisterWharf 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
A toast to Billy Mays!
[–]Wollff 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
The only question that remains: How does it feel when you lick your cat's tongue?
[–]meowlol 5 points6 points7 points 6 months ago
I don't mind it. Such a great exfoliator :)
[–]alejo06 9 points10 points11 points 6 months ago
It must tickle...
[–]KaneinEncanto 12 points13 points14 points 6 months ago
It tickles about as much as rubbing yourself with a very small patch of coarse sandpaper.
[–]Umtard 5 points6 points7 points 6 months ago
It does not.
[–]Atzend 13 points14 points15 points 6 months ago
But it does...
[–]ReticulatedSplines 24 points25 points26 points 6 months ago
This isn't /r/wtf material.
Try /r/aww.
[–]nabubble 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
So scratchy.
[–]Jellycent 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
That explains so much, honestly. My cat has long gone past his affectionate stage and is now just a lazy (but still adorable) and demanding master of us humans.
[–]TheEnormousPenis 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Feels great on the penis.
[–]templerist 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
ಠ_ಠ
[–]BeardyDorf 7 points8 points9 points 6 months ago
DEAL WITH IT.
[–]im_the_guy_who_sucks 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
I hate it when my cat tries to groom my eyebrows.
[–]AvaTate 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
I imagine that feels much like my legs do after 4 days of avoiding shaving.
[–]Benjimonifcation 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
so thats why it feels so good!
[–]CloneDeath 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
It hurts, but it is SO CUTE :D
[–]sprocketsturgeon 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
I'd be willing to bet that someone with a screen name like "prolapsedrectum" has seen way more WTF stuff than a cat's scratchy tongue.
[–]deuxabuse 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Yeah they have the same hooks on their penis That's what cats in heat are calling for, cat wang that is just like a torture device.
Apparently used for scraping out the magic love juice of the last cat that had it's way with that delicious feline wench.
[–]deuxabuse 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
interesting. And I thought it was just to keep her from getting away.
[–]cool_user_name_ 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Needed for rasping meat off of bone. Oh Carnivores you evolutionary freaks.
[–]skuggi 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
In my experience they just eat the bone too. Although, maybe they can't do that for larger animals. I've just seen them eat mice and such.
[–]thejanitor726 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Not as bad as a cat penis
[–]Oh-A-Oh 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
DOESN'T MATTER, STILL CUTE
[–]eXeKoKoRo 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I like this feel.
[–]tomtit 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
It looks like a load of worms, imagine if it was. I do not want a cat any more.
[–]Swindx 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
also remember he uses the same tongue to clean his asshole.
[–]KaneinEncanto 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
This is what I'd actually anticipated the picture would be to be honest.
[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Like I'm going to give a fuck.
[–]burgerkingjeepers 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
wished I had tongues like those, and a long one, so I dont have to worry about forgetting my comb...
[–]bgb111 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
What the FUCK?
[–]Flogman89 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
If you think that is bad wait til he turns out the lights and goes to town on your ear. And I'm not talking about his toung.....and yes his penis has barbs on it....-__-
[–]AutumnEmber 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I hate you
[–]loulabug 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
they're called filliform papillae... people have them too, they're just much more pronounced in cats. in bigger cats (like lions) they're so pronounced they can tear skin...
[–]woo545 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Wet sandpaper
[–]joshharris1234 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
i call it "sandpaper tongue"
[–]blackrose1261 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
my kitty....she likes the heel of my foot....it tickles......lol..
licks*
[–]monkiboy 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
This is why you never let a big cat (I'm talking lions and shit) lick you. Might lose half a face or two.
[–]kstar 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Once I ate tripe and it reminded me of cat tongue. It was creepy.
[–]Hephalump 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
This ruined cats for me. May I never regain my ignorance to them having "spiked" anatomy. Lol
[–]ooo_shiny 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I was expecting a picture of a cat licking its butthole.
[–]laststance 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Feline use those rough hairs to strip meat from bone. If you want to try it out, give your cat some type of meat attached to a bone. Once it's unable to bite off the remaining meat, the cat would strip the meat off of teh bone simply by licking it. Lions use it in the wild to clean themselves and clean carcasses.
[–]lemev2 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Why do cats have that in their tongues, it should have a use right?
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Tearing meat from bones. Remember, they are technically carnivorous predators.
[–]birdmankustomz 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
That and drinking water, they kind of "grab" the droplets, allowing them to intake more water than without (example, look at a dog drinking water compared to a cat).
[–]Wolfehh-Kun -1 points0 points1 point 6 months ago
Thanks for the nightmares.
[–]Nazita -2 points-1 points0 points 6 months ago
Disgusting!!!!
[–]Andreilius -4 points-3 points-2 points 6 months ago
Nope
[–]Gingerbreadmancan -2 points-1 points0 points 6 months ago
ehhhhwwwwhhhhh
[–]rage4theused -1 points0 points1 point 6 months ago
So, what are they for?
[–]KaneinEncanto 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
I think I remember hearing they assist in drinking too, as they have tiny indentations they reside in normally, act like a massive amount of very tiny ladles.
[–]Berdiie 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I think it was on Reddit, because honestly what isn't, but there was a slow-mo video study of how cats drink versus dogs. Dogs create a ladle or spoon with their tongue to lap at the water. Cats created something sort of like a vacuum that would create a stream of water from the bowl to their mouth that they would then dart forward to catch in their mouth. At normal speed it looks like the same thing that dogs do, but with the slowed down version it was almost like they were catching drool streams.
Big cats use them to help them remove fur from kills.
[–]Doodle_strudel 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
Combing the fur.
[–]exlex 5 points6 points7 points 6 months ago
I vaguely recall they're for helping get every bit of meat off bones.
[–]ReticulatedSplines 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
Could be both.... evolution is like that.
[–]xXBlUnTsM0KA420Xx 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Man how could you even evolve that man. How would that work, would the cats with more spikes on their tongues get more food from carcasses and therefore live longer and get to procreate more or something? I don't know man, all I know is I want a spine on my penis or something.
[–]ion64 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
yes, I vaguely recall watching some doc about lions and how they could simply lick a limb from skin to the bone in like ~2 hours.
[–]rage4theused -6 points-5 points-4 points 6 months ago
[7] longest ohh of my life
it also slightly prevents smaller pray from escaping (like insects). And oh, it might help them catch fleas.
[–]Chugabilly -1 points0 points1 point 6 months ago
Not to mention all the god damn cat shit that it licked off it's feet as well as licking it's asshole.
[–]Ruined534 -1 points0 points1 point 6 months ago
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
[–]mexus37 -1 points0 points1 point 6 months ago
[–]scrubbyducky -8 points-7 points-6 points 6 months ago
what the fucking fuck!!!
[–]ObliviousDerpMaster 11 points12 points13 points 6 months ago
Really? Never learned anything about cats? Ever?
[–]im_literally_hitler_ 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
No, can you subscribe me to cat facts please?
[–]ObliviousDerpMaster -10 points-9 points-8 points 6 months ago
No, I hate cats enough as it is. Go burn some Jews Adolf.
[–]Schwinehund -3 points-2 points-1 points 6 months ago
You're first.
[–]ObliviousDerpMaster -2 points-1 points0 points 6 months ago
But I'm not Jewish, or the guy calling himself hitler.
pigdog. Ja... Deutsch!
[–]Schwinehund -1 points0 points1 point 6 months ago
You're the first person to pick up on that.
Yes! Is there a prize?
UPVOTES!
YEEEAAA!!!
[–]blueasclepius 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Wait, seriously? People knew this? Why was no one telling me?
[–]scrubbyducky 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
nope. i must have skipped that day of feline anatomy.
[–]ObliviousDerpMaster 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Oh, that was one of first useless information someone told me about cats.
i feel like my life just became richer. explains why my GFs cat licking me is the worst thing... ever.
[–]SubtleMockery -2 points-1 points0 points 6 months ago
Iz for scoopin' waters.
[–]dubesor86 -5 points-4 points-3 points 6 months ago
I just checked my cat.. either it's enhanced/shopped or my cat is a retard because it has only TINY TInY Hooks that you can barely see. I realise this is zoomed in but still, looks nothing like that irl.
[–]BlazikenTrees 5 points6 points7 points 6 months ago
Lightly grab his tongue just for a second while he's yawning and they will poke out more. And he'll look stupid.
[–]zynthalay 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
Your cat is derp. I've looked at the tongue keratin spines on mine lots of times. They're small but not nearly 'TINY TInY'.
all it takes is a username and password
create account
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[–]nancylikestoreddit 105 points106 points107 points ago
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