top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Cozmo23 474 points475 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I Cozmo23 promise if elected Supreme Leader of Reddit I will establish a minimum Karma wage for all Redditors.

[–]GeneralWarts 299 points300 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

LET IT BE KNOWN THAT THIS MAN HAS DECLARED MUTINY AGAINST FORTHEWOLFX.

Choose wisely, everyone.

[–]REDDITvTIDDER 165 points166 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh, its just like American politics, the first comment is a smear campaign.

[–]money_buys_a_jetski 66 points67 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Calibansdaydream 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

you clearly upvoted them. You have collaborated with the terrorists! you're a terrorist!

[–]money_buys_a_jetski 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]REDDITvTIDDER 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]GeneralWarts 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I like your style.

And to finish your username..

"Money may not buy happiness, but it buys a jetski.

Have you ever seen anyone frown on a jetski?

People smile as they hit the pier."

[–]Hazlzz 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just tagged you after following your trail all the way to the end of the rabbit hole... and realized I had seen and commented on like 3 of the different threads along the way. I'd like to join the IIFIS movement, and put any powers of mine at your potential. Eventually, we will rise up and seize reddit (or at least the comments sections) and free everyone from the tyranny of karma. We will create a new and better society, led by the gentle, all-powerful hands of General Warts! Our campaign shall be the very embodiment of the Desprez Opening: we are thoroughly unmotivated and create weaknesses with only vague promises of future potential!

[–]GeneralWarts 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You have a way with words. You will definitely be an adviser to The King, or whatever title we find suitable after the takeover.

[–]TheoQ99 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I havn't seen forthewolfx on his throne in awhile. Did somebody already assassinate him?

[–]skylerdray 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He's on steam a lot. Dunno about reddit.

TF2 > /r/tf2 i guess.

[–]synapticimpact 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hi. I have you tagged as "if it fits, it ships" but this was before I started adding the URL to the reason I tagged the person I did. Care to enlighten me? :(

[–]GeneralWarts 69 points70 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]synapticimpact 41 points42 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh god damn it.

[–]mastersprinkles 20 points21 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's a deep dark tunnel. Good luck James Cameron.

[–]Veret 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Is it too soon to bring back "that's what she said?" Because god damn.

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I Like James Cameron! What were we talking about?

[–]Sweddy 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I feel your pain, man.

[–]Veret 29 points30 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ah, the new reddit switcheroo!

[–]Sickamore 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]GeneralWarts 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Photoshopped into one of my alltime favorite movies. Damn you guys keep outdoing each other.

But it's not a contest, there's enough of me for everyone.

But if it was a contest, you'd be right under the guy who drew a cartoon of me and the people who give me the HIMYM salute.

[–]Wulfay 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I tagged you after I found the end of the tunnel. and I'd also like to say you are a great guy/gal about the whole meta-meme thing that you are the crux of, and it just makes it all that much better :D

[–]GeneralWarts 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I always wondered if it would get old. But honestly it really hasn't. Not sure if that means I am an attention whore, or just a good sport.

Glad the community is entertained. I try to add a new twist here and there to keep it fresh.

[–]ifitFitsitShips 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]GeneralWarts 17 points18 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was going to downvote for killing my vibe.

But I just realized this is a momentous occasion in my reddit life. A novelty account has been created in my image. WE MUST CELEBRATE!

BEERS ON ME!

REDDIT GOLD FOR EVERYONE*

*disclaimer: Reddit gold not actually included.

[–]grabmyeye 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Someone made a novelty account for me once. It was grabmyeye_sr and it was used just to make a joke. I wouldn't feel too special.

[–]I_PAPE_REOPLE_II 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah, that shit's a dime a dozen.

[–]GeneralWarts 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well, I'm part of your club now.

I'm the new blood, and in a couple hours I'll be an old and cynical vet as yourself.

[–]Wulfay 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I would :(

[–]BestOfWulfay 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]grubas 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Where's the beer?!

[–]GeneralWarts 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Shit.

I mean.. I left a note with your favorite bar. Just tell them it's on GeneralWarts.

[–]snow_globe_life 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I had way more fun falling down the rabbit hole... Problem is, I'm so goddamn new I don't get it!

[–]emrikol 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You're a glorious bastard. I'm glad I saved the URL explaining the "if it fits, it ships" meta-meta-meme.

[–]CowOfSteel 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I had no idea what I was signing up for with that.

[–]Battletooth 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I feel so special! I finally got to the final source and said, "this looks familiar....."

I finally realized I commented in that very same thread of the source!

That thread had people tagging me as "eats children."

I feel special to finally feel like I kind of part of something, sort of.

C:

Edit: Aw, nevermind. Wrong source. :C

[–]Wulfay 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

:c

[–]sarcasticmrfox 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That link goes deeper than inception.

[–]A_Meat_Popsicle 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You are a pretentious bastard. I should post the original here to ruin your passive fun, but fuck the future.

[–]GeneralWarts 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thank you, I will now classify you as human.

[–]5HourWheelie 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I always thought of myself as a flightless bird, you know?

[–]jovon 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Keep clicking, folks, and you'll get to the end of the tunnel in a few minutes. I won't link to the original. It's not nearly as deep as the switcharoo.

[–]GeneralWarts 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yet.

[–]Sandcat7 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have crawled through the dark depths of the internet and have finally found the reasoning. It was a long journey. I will not ruin your scheme though, GeneralWarts.

[–]GeneralWarts 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Salutes

[–]Zolkowski 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was just informed that my new roommate Jay is related to the "if it fits, it ships" guy. I didn't believe him until I saw photos. Hello, sir.

[–]GeneralWarts 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Haha, I can't imagine how that came up in real life conversation.

Where is Jay staying these days? College Ave or elsewhere?

[–]Zolkowski 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah he lives on College ave with Jake and I above what is now called the "Suga Shack" quite literally.

[–]GeneralWarts 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I believe your household will appreciate my reaction.

And next time you see Jake tell him karma is everything. Hopefully with a straight face ready to argue its ultimate importance in life.

He should get a kick out of that, or be pissed. One of those.

[–]LivesOnARock 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What did I just read?

[–]norapeformethankyou 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I went all the way.

[–]grubas 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't even want to know how many links are buried there now.

[–]GrizzlyMan_NW10 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If you were really evil you would leave a decoy link near the end that links back here and gets people stuck in a infinite loop.

[–]GeneralWarts 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You've either been following me around, or you're as evil as I am.

I realize at this point clicking links by me may seem dangerous. This is OK to click.

[–]ConservativePlatypus 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I found the end of that, it was a glorious moment, thank you for that. You need to make a deeper rabbit hole. I once spent an hour going through the reedit switcharoo system, yours needs to be like that.

[–]Bethurz 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I feel like the only one who has you tagged as something other than "If it fits, it ships".

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That was fantastic. I felt like I bonded with past you as you spoke to future me. Enjoy this upvote, its all I have to give.

[–]mastersprinkles 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If shit goes down, I'm voting for GeneralWarts.

[–]GeneralWarts 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We must rebuild. But who will lead us in the rebuilding process?

Man, it's got to be someone with the know-how

and the elbow grease to lead us to a new land.

No, not me and mastersprinkles, we don't have the cognitive capacity to lead...

Alright, we'll do it!

[–]mastersprinkles 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]kirillian 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ha, I've poisoned your wine!

[–]gavinhudson1 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And then after the smoke is cleared, and the rubble has been swept away?

[–]Cozmo23 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We don't need a thinker. We need a doer: someone who'll act without considering the consequences!

[–]Trip_McNeely 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Are you suggesting someone outside the hivemind?

[–]thedbp 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

well men like us aren't exactly clear on intentions ourselves now are they?

[–]GeneralWarts 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Damnit, it wasn't until I got home that I saw your tag. Honestbleeps needs to get that RES pro version working.

[–]tiro_sprizzle 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

followed that entire trail to figure out where your name came from.

  1. Thank you for helping me waste time until I leave work.

  2. I still don't get it.

  3. I don't care, I still have you tagged :)

Carry on.

EDIT: Damnit..I forgot to copy the link, now I have to go through all of that again so I won't forget.

[–]goofandaspoof 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cozmo23 wears a straw hat at home in his house - he goes outside without the hat, but if you seem in his house he does wear a small straw hat.

[–]alexanderwales 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

  1. This will lead to rapid karma inflation.
  2. This will increase the barrier for people just starting out on reddit, the very people who this policy is (supposedly) designed to help out.
  3. This will devalue people who have a higher value-add.

It's a horrible policy, and people are only upvoting you because they like entitlements but don't like to think about the bigger picture. Campaigning on promises like this is dishonest, and the fact that you're one of the front-runners in the reddit elections is making me lose faith in our system of democracy.

[–]Cozmo23 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The Karma is currently far stronger than the Like and +1, and statistics that I have made up specifically for this post project it will continue to increase in value. There is no indication that increasing the amount of Karma we give to suffering content submitters will hurt the value of the Karma.

I also promise to donate all of the Karma from my original post here to children with cancer.

[–]Sanity_prevails 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just one upvote a day would help this little kid to the front page!

[–]KimJongIlSunglasses 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And you'll receive a hand-typed post from a redditor just like JerrySun who so desperately needs your upvotes. Some redditors don't even have an iPad, or clean piss to drink. But it doesn't have to be this way.

[–]IamAhamsterAMA 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I already make more karma than most people, but I support this change for the lesser fortunate.

[–]kaimason1 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

11000 karma a month? WHAT IS THIS WIZARDRY?

[–]IamAhamsterAMA 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I use my powers of cute for purposes of karma collection. ◕‿‿◕

[–]GenosRussia 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

gets enough upvotes to bump karma by 200, feels like bill gates for 30 seconds.

[–]thekokirikid 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

better conditions and fewer hours as well? Naw, I'll pass

[–]shanoxilt 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

But what is your opinion of /r/Shaskel ? And how will you adapt to the needs of gender minorities at /r/queerconlangers?

[–]KyroDCK 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Did anyone else read that in Mayor Quimbys voice?

[–]AndyRooney 54 points55 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]The_Turbinator 23 points24 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hey look everyone, it's the guy who ripped Woody Harrelson a new one !!

[–]AndyRooney 22 points23 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Tossedinthebin 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ah, Woody Harrelson! That guy should do an AMA.

[–]AndyRooney 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–][deleted] 588 points589 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY TO A BONUS, TODAY! ;)

[–]Trapped_in_Reddit 296 points297 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

NOW GET BACK TO WORK DAMNIT

[–]CAPS_LOCK_USERNAME 146 points147 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I hear they're installing nets around reddit.com for the jumpers...

[–]Bignut_Squirrel 62 points63 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Trampolines would be more entertaining.

[–]MC_Hatter 63 points64 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

They'd never allow it, only a matter of time before one of us starts dropping cats on them and making our Karma independently

[–]TheoQ99 28 points29 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"Come along now, only one bounce per cat. We have a huge line waiting all to get their karma"

[–][deleted] 103 points104 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

                       ______
      *Choo Choo*   .-"""".._'.       _,##
             _..__ |.-"""-.|  |   _,##'`-._
            (_____)||_____||  |_,##'`-._,##'`
            _|   |.;-""-.  |  |#'`-._,##'`
         _.;_ `--' `\    \ |.'`\._,##'`
        /.-.\ `\     |.-";.`_, |##'`
        |\__/   | _..;__  |'-' /
        '.____.'_.-`)\--' /'-'`
         //||\\(_.-'_,'-'`
       (`-...-')_,##'`
    _,##`-..,-;##`
 _,##'`-._,##'`

,##'-._,##' `-.,##'`

dont mind me

[–]darkerknight 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

if this is a karma train, it should be pointing to the other direction, upwards.

[–]LtMattL 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Maybe it goes backwards?

[–]defenastrator 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

or maybe it's from the perspective of the gods of karma

[–]cheesefan 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dey took are jerbs!!

[–]Vthokie15 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

DERR TERKK R JEWBZ!

[–]responds_in_verse 48 points49 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I love how all the karma magnets crowd around this thread
as though their strong examples ought to help him get ahead.
In fact, there is one thing I've learned from hanging with this crowd:
THE WAY TO GET YOUR KARMA IS BY TALKING REALLY LOUD.

[–]bryanb440 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm not sure how I feel about you yet..

[–]responds_in_verse 34 points35 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I tend to be highly sardonic
but this time I'll be more harmonic:
My feelings for you
are dubious too
but probably strictly platonic.

[–]BoonToobies 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

17465 karma / (24 * 3) hours = 242.57 karma/hour = 61 average redditors

[–]NickDerpkins 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He is more than just a mortal man. I have been conducting some research on Trapped_in_Reddit and I think you should stop by my lab so we can analyze the data. The results may be shocking.

[–]random-compliments 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"it wasn't rape because she wasn't awake to say no" - NickDerpkins

☜(゚ヮ゚☜) sometimes the creepy things you say are also funny.

[–]pussvomit 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As an occasional karmawhore I admit that I am only replying to your comment just because I want this to get noticed and upvoted.

[–]I_DRINK_PERIOD_BLOOD 50 points51 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah, we'll help you out.

[–]GeneralWarts 69 points70 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What I lack in a loud username, I make up for with my infectious upvote.

[–]andrewsmith1986 54 points55 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Shit, I recognize your name, so you gotta be here a ton.

[–]GeneralWarts 60 points61 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thanks, it just takes a little time to learn reddit's ins and outs. With enough work you could start getting noticed too!

[–]andrewsmith1986 49 points50 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Any tips?

[–]IMasturbateToMyself 52 points53 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You need to be a virgin first.

[–]andrewsmith1986 23 points24 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

:(

[–]andrewsmith1986sDad 65 points66 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Turn that frown upside down mister!

[–]NottheCyberPolice 20 points21 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ಠ_ಠ

[–]THE_FRESHEST_CEREAL 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

:( it still looks the same

[–]IAMUglyAMA 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

):

[–]danE3030 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

HEY EVERYBODY, ANDREWSMITH1986 IS NOT A VIRGIN!

[–]TheoQ99 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah, among his various other taggings I had for him, one was "had sex in a meat freezer"

[–]GeneralWarts 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A wise man once told me about the ABC's of karma.

Always Be Commenting.

You might want to take that to heart. Get your name out there and maybe mod a few popular subreddits.

[–]vxx 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That comment line sounds like a great monologue.

[–]andrewsmith1986 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Should I sleep ever?

[–]GeneralWarts 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If you choose the path of reddit, and the reddit is willing to take you in... no.

You will experience the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows. You will collect followers on your journey and they may turn on you in jealousy, throwing downvotes at your every turn.

Ignore these obstacles and continue on, because you are on a path of bacon and narwhals and your cause is just.

[–]andrewsmith1986 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Do I have to kill my parents to become the hero that reddit needs?

[–]CloseTalker 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Stop talking to yourself.

[–]andrewsmith1986 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What are you doing out of the cellar?

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Talking to yourself again?

[–]Trapped_in_Reddit 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Now it's 5 little guy.

[–]random-compliments 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

☜(゚ヮ゚☜) You shouldn't take to your penis in public

[–]sllewgh 87 points88 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You just have to post in the right place at the right time, in addition to having decent content and perfect grammar. This thread is a great example of the right place and time. A fast rising thread, with currently only 29 comments, so people might actually read this.

Doesn't hurt to have a cat, a vagina, or a novelty account either.

Pic related.

[–]theheartofgold 41 points42 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have a vagina. Doesn't help. (Unless you mention it at least once per comment.)

[–]NovaMouser 22 points23 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You had me at "vagina".

[–]SirAuron 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sorry. Just saw the word "Vagina" and automatically upvoted. In my culture, that instinct was ingrained in me at a young age.

[–]REDDITvTIDDER 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I wasn't going to upvote you but your related picture got my arrow up...

[–]sllewgh 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's more of an art than a science.

[–]random-compliments 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

☜(゚ヮ゚☜) You're more art than science.

[–]sllewgh 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

(blushes)

This is now my new favorite novelty account.

[–]k4oz 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Actually I'm not sure if that's a compliment. I quite like science!

[–]Thaschmann 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I got almost 500 karma so far for the comment "Edison is a dick". It has a deep meaning and awesome grammar.

[–]sllewgh 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He WAS a dick.

[–]TurbulentDescent 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

decent content and perfect grammar

These are optional. My highest comment amounts to "Well, dogs will eat just about anything"

[–]WildMexicanSeabass 20 points21 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

4 per hour??? I barely get 1 per week!

[–]ergomnemonicism 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]wilsonjonez 100 points101 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

4 karma an hour? Who's leg do I have to hump to get that?

[–]exploding_anus 53 points54 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's funny because you posted this an hour ago and there are four upvotes.

[–]random-compliments 23 points24 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

☜(゚ヮ゚☜) I had four fiber one bars an hour ago.

I think I deserve your username.

[–]bubbameister33 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

One fiber one is bar enough for a day. Why would you punish yourself with four?

[–]random-compliments 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I am not a smart man.

[–]eallen1 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yes... Punish...

[–]Trip_McNeely 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because they are delicious.

[–]bubbameister33 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I know that. I once made the mistake of eating two because I hadn't ate lunch. I had a bad time.

[–]prose-before-hoes 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dat face

[–]I_DO_WORK_OUT 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]kazkeb 23 points24 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

sorry, had to downvote... you had more than 4 karma... don't want you to forget the little people

[–]Joke_Choke 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Are downvotes some kind of an income tax?

[–]Lucky75 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Only if they get redistributed to people with less karma.

[–]iloveboatssohard 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

here is how you get karma. go out and buy every kind of cake you can. then make a cake mountain, sit on it, be king.

[–]deejay_reich 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]abbbe91 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I remember you! You posted this! http://i.imgur.com/xbxlm.jpg :D UPVOTES!

[–]PamelaOfMosman 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm drunk on this post! It's like you've broken then internet and karma points are flowing.

[–]jeemosupremo 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I make .0051 Karma per hour

[–]IMasturbateToMyself 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My account is 11 months and 3 days old, that is around 340 days. That is 8160 hours. 98735/8160 = 12.1 per hour.

[–]HackRT 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

because everyone is on reddit 24/7

EVERYONE

[–]IMasturbateToMyself 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ON AVERAGE. HAPPY NOW?

[–]kwabina 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm doing swimmingly with my 0.0737 per hour in comparison.

[–]crocboss 20 points21 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

caught this one early. It is destined for the frontpage but i just couldn't think of anything clever to post. Damn it.

[–]jaggazz 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Is that in link or comment currency? Everyone knows the going rate is 3:1.

[–]dullshrubs 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Man, if I made 4 karma an hour...I would probably feel better about myself. I make about 3 karma a year.

[–]ilovegeorgebush 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I make negative amounts, but I have fun doing it.

[–]spongemonster 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Another day, another dollar.

[–]SuperiorRobot 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Contributing always sounded like a lot of work, so I've never tried.

[–]SEGnosis 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]farmthis 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Please sir, may I have some more?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hey now guys, be careful.. Statistically, poor people like this surviving off of 4 karma a day tend to blow "windfall" money on things like drugs or hookers.. Are we really doing this guy a favor by handing him the keys to the kingdom instead of making him work for it??

[–]Isaynicethings 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Reddit is killing it today with the amazing posts- thanks guy you made me giggle and made my day better! I wish I could afford to Reddit gold you or something more- but have a Karma and keep being awesome!

[–]duffking 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

/Dramatic Voice

"Reddit user JerrySun spends eighteen hours a day, six days a week working in his mother's basement to accrue karma. JerrySun is just one of thousands of desperate Redditors who work excruciating hours in oppresive conditions for a mere pittance of karma.

For just one karma a post per month, you can help end their torment. Rexfam. Please give generously.

[–]Distantly_Fellated 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Remember when giving people fake internet points for their comments was a funny joke to make on discussion boards?

[–]summiter 2 points3 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Here I go inadvertently validating communism... trying to get karma is what cased Reddit to go downhill. It's the same "look at me! look at me!" attitude that makes /random/ subforums more popular than the target content on other sites. People will invariably create that which is popular for internet currency which has no value other than self-satisfaction and a competition mindset among others with similar misguided views. Scientific articles lead to opinionated interpretations lead to opinions lead to rebuffs and retorts lead to "here's an article I found, but I didn't it through" lead to "I'm butchering the title and the content in my submission because it's sensationalist" lead to ... ultimately cat pictures and ffuuuuu comics.

TL;DR: So it's not the amount of value your post gives YOU, it's the value your post gives the COMMUNITY

TL:DR2: Reddit is officially a soggy biscuit

[–]alex_tank 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

First post I've seen on this thread that's more than 10 words or a short statement or pun, actually discussing the topic. You're absolutely correct.

I'm thinking maybe the benefit of Karma for Reddit is that it encourages people to pay for gold account, but the obvious negative is attention grabbing comments rather than any depth whatsoever.

[–]Johnnythegoodboy 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Agreed. The fact that the post title is about "trying to contribute to Reddit" but the actual post is about gaining karma for himself is a huge problem. Contributing to Reddit should entail posting an article or link that would actually be interesting or start a good discussion. Instead, this view of "contributing" means posting something that's only designed to get on the front page and earn a lot of upvotes.

[–]ohok1 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We need to form a Reddit Union

[–]chis 1 point2 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I earn about 0.05 karma a day. I'm under a bridge, only showing my face scarcely then scavenging for karma in the lower threads of those wittier than I.

EDIT: Spelling.

[–]YakiVegas 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I never know which of the things I post will take off and which will get ignored completely. Luckily though, most get no votes so at least I have low expectations.

[–]i4c8e9 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was going to look at my account and see exactly how much I earn per day. I figured it would be some quick easy math coming out to around 6 karma per day... i've been a redditor for about 2 months.

But, the question I now have is how do I see wxactly when i joined, and why do i have a trophy for the four year club? It's entirely possible I made an account 4 years ago and never used it, then forgot and wasn't paying attention when i created this one... If that were the case, would I not also have the 1, 2, and 3 year trophies?

[–]WhiteRastaJ 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

4 karma/hr.

Fucking fat cat.

OCCUPY IMGUR!

[–]xBarracuda 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm a karmaillionaire, the 1% will rule reddit >:)

[–]phoenixfish 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

karma karma karma karma karmakamillionaire ...

[–]webster89 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sir, you make at least 950 karma per hour.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I for one am happy with Reddit being a laissez-faire, true free market of karma. It may fuck a lot of people over in real life, but on Reddit, there is a reason /r/new sucks and its a good thing that shitty submissions get buried. Reposts can be annoying, but they're like sitcom re-runs, they're still good for a laugh and new people get to see what they were missing before they found Reddit.

[–]theNinjahs 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Next post is success kid...

[–]generousone 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

now you're a Rockefeller congrats.

[–]Vuchetich 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

REDISTRIBUTION OF KARMA! REDDITORS OF THE WORLD UNITE!!

[–]The_Schwenk 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nobody ever pays me in karma :(

[–]Skaha 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dear sweet Raptor Jesus! That poor kid! He needs all the karma he can get for the surgery to remove that dinosaur tail!

[–]evilcupcake9534 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

4 karma?!? Damn...i aint even makin no tree fiddy

[–]Liferuler 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Actually AOL and Bill Gates are monitoring this thread. For every upvote you give, the poor boy will receive two cents.

[–]wafflestomp 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm sick of Reddit being about Reddit. Why can't we be about What's New On The Internet?

[–]hypologist 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

tired, tasteless reddit-on-reddit jokes

[–]monstercablessuck 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You're complaining about 4 karma an hour? Son, in my day it would have taken a WEEK to get 4 karma. Kids these days just don't know what it means to actually work for their karma. It's just handed out willy nilly. And do they even appreciate it? No! No they do not.

[–]Leitz-Ordner 2 points3 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Your actual wage as of today (including this post):

  • 0.2222 karma/h (calculated based on link karma)

  • 0.2444 karma/h (calculated based on comment karma)

  • 0.4666 karma/h (overall)

comparison: Well-known user andrewsmith1986 has 18.349 K/h (overall)