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top 200 commentsshow all 324

[–]linds360 90 points91 points ago

[–]linds360 10 points11 points ago*

Wow. He just did not give up.

I'm finding it to be true of this OP too even after his girlfriend has stopped talking to him in real life.

Edit: And deleted all her comments and 8mo old username. Damn...

[–]devoting_my_time 7 points8 points ago

He's down to 500 comment karma, it's like watching someone get buried in an avalanche.

[–]gigitrix 0 points1 point ago

257 more people thought it was funny than unfunny though :/

[–]MACHETE_HEADSHAVE 16 points17 points ago

Judging from her "liked" and "disliked" history, OP's current girlfriend seems to dislike many of the submissions on GW (except for her own, I'm sure).

What a fucking mess. You're both morons.

[–]orange_jooze 0 points1 point ago

Link?

[–]TheMagnificentTroll 312 points313 points ago

yea. you're not still over her...

[–]gradually_berks 536 points537 points ago

Definitely the case. I hate how men on this site talk about gaining weight like it's some herrible thing. I, for one, think women can lerk sexy and yert still be alerter erverweight. Mah berst frird gerned abercha pernds ernd she stirl lerks ers bertifer ershe dird whern shewers smerler.

[–]Immynimmy 211 points212 points ago

I thought you were having a fucking aneurysm.

[–]Gremlinski 147 points148 points ago

I thought I was having a fucking aneurysm.

[–]Kinetic_Waffle 43 points44 points ago

Arm haring rangaruvm rihh maow.

[–]LeonardoFibonacci 26 points27 points ago

Arm haring fiawoef rangaruvm rihh maow

FJIEY

[–]YouListening 32 points33 points ago

yhuggtfyhbjumk

yght6ujgftv

[–]Herr_God 18 points19 points ago

But i ate an Orange, and its K now...

[–]BeNign618 2 points3 points ago

YA HA HARRRR

[–]Geophro 1 point2 points ago

Der turk err gerbs!

[–]orange_jooze 5 points6 points ago

My arm is numb! Numb arm! Narm! NARM! NARM! NARRRRMMMM!!

[–]failbotron 0 points1 point ago

Excuse me, are you saying meow?

[–]lookiamapollo 6 points7 points ago

I thought I was reading a dolan comic

[–]sweettits7 39 points40 points ago

I laughed harder at this one comment than I have at ANYTHING on Reddit, ever. I don't even know why.

[–]reg0ner 3 points4 points ago

I know. I was going through history laughing uncontrollably.

[–]JRowe3388 41 points42 points ago

Oh god, I'm ashamed at how much I'm laughing over this.

[–]bbqbot 6 points7 points ago

I do not get it :(

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

Ah dernt gert ert erther.

[–]akatherder 5 points6 points ago

His username is "gradually_berks". There are other novelty accounts with a similar concept theme like gradual_nigger, gradual_bill_cosby, and gradual_pro_wrestler. They start with a seemingly normal comment and then start talking funny in the theme of their username.

I don't think "berks" is a reference to anything, but the spelling and pronunciation you see is apparently his interpretation of "gradually berking".

[–]FishingHigh 11 points12 points ago

[–]KungFuHamster 3 points4 points ago

I thought it was the Swedish Chef, from The Muppets.

[–]Saicotic 7 points8 points ago

Those are borks.

[–]AlphaEnder 3 points4 points ago

Someone else posted what it came from. Personally love the gradual_bill_cosby, always gets me.

[–]IAmALampShade 1 point2 points ago

I looked for gradual_pro_wrestler. Couldn't find him!

[–]Panq 0 points1 point ago

Same here. /u/gradual_bill_cosby exists, but no posts. I was somewhat disappointed.

[–]m000f 1 point2 points ago

But /u/gradual_billcosby has some, and they are quite hilarious.

[–]pyrojeff 1 point2 points ago

[–]Vesuvias 3 points4 points ago

Shit I'm in tears over here :p

[–]givegodawedgie 52 points53 points ago

Has potential...

[–]splashymanatee 35 points36 points ago

serious potential, I burst into fits of laughter as I realised what was happening.

[–]IMasturbateToMyself 7 points8 points ago

What's berks?

[–]Buttonwillow 41 points42 points ago

[–]Anonymo 6 points7 points ago

Berks Station is an elevated rapid transit stop on the Market-Frankford Line, above the corner of Front Street and Berks Street in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, in the Kensington neighborhood. The station is reserved for "A" Trains only. ...

[–]senorrawr 2 points3 points ago

you must be one sexy son of a bitch

[–]oniongasm 6 points7 points ago

8/10. Would upvot agan

[–]Saint947 7 points8 points ago

After reading retard foods to my brother last night, you are a proverbial gold mine

[–]I3ombastic 4 points5 points ago

OH MY GOD THIRD TIME TODAY

[–]helloalicehello 9 points10 points ago

I can't breathe

[–]BlindSight754 2 points3 points ago

Best laugh Ive had in weeks. Thank you.

[–]BMikasa 2 points3 points ago

For some reason, everytime I read "I, for one," I look up and check for novelty account.

[–]pillon 5 points6 points ago

Fucking brilliant. I saw "lerk" and let it go, but then couldn't help myself after that sentence.

[–]gigitrix 1 point2 points ago

These break my brain...

[–]Daemon_of_Mail 0 points1 point ago

These berk my brern.

[–]mungd 1 point2 points ago

I am really fucking laughing at this. Hard. Bravo.

[–]ExceptionRaised 1 point2 points ago

Mah ner ferverut nervulty erkernt.

[–]machinesmith 1 point2 points ago

This, and the guy who gradually turns into a WWE wrestler. Hilarious!

[–]rimjobflashmob 1 point2 points ago

I read this stoned and immediately thought "WELP, TIME FOR BED!"

[–]KungFuHamster 0 points1 point ago

I like the way you talk.

[–]VisualAssassin 0 points1 point ago

slow clap

[–]RogerDeanVenture 0 points1 point ago

Account is 9 hours old and already one of my favorites - Bravo Sir!

[–]PatAunces 8 points9 points ago

Not necessarily. You can be mad at your ex and not be in love with them. In fact I'd say that's the case a lot of the time.

[–]willscy 4 points5 points ago

poor bastard must have gotten trapped by the obesity.

[–]Kunkletown 6 points7 points ago

So, he was over her but that changed?

[–]TheJulie 7 points8 points ago

You're over me? W-when were you... under me?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

Yeah, you know this guy. Definitely can make those judgments.

[–]Dolewhip 34 points35 points ago

That wasn't the point. The point is if you're still thinking about her in the childish i'm-doing-better-than-you-post-breakup sense, then you aren't over them.

[–]skintigh 26 points27 points ago

I am perfectly capable of being both childish and over someone.

The ones I'm not over I want to die in a fire.

[–]arkiephilpott 13 points14 points ago

While that may be true some of the time, I think we need to consider that maybe his ex was really mean to him and he could use some cheering up. I, for one, was cheated on for years by a girl before in ended. A year later, she had a kid and didn't know who the father was. I felt bad for her situation but I was over her, so I went out and partied that night because sometimes a guy's gotta dance.

[–]I3ombastic 8 points9 points ago

If that's true, then I'm secretly still in love with like three different girls.

Come on man, people are vindictive sometimes. It's just a laugh.

[–]omgwhothehellcares 1 point2 points ago

This will probably get downvoted, but I am tired of seeing this type of comment on every post about an ex.

You can get over an ex and still be able to talk about him/her.

[–]Rodalli 1 point2 points ago

Eh, I disagree with your sentiment. There are about a million different ways he could have found out that information.

Just because he thinks it's funny that she's putting on weight doesn't mean he's still harboring feelings for her. Also, you can still dislike someone and be completely over them. It all depends on the nature of the relationship and how things ended.

ITT: judgmental people who think they know WTF is going on in other people's minds based on an imgur post.

[–]DrFeargood 1 point2 points ago

Yeah seriously. I dated a bipolar mega bitch for a year. It would be hilarious to me now if she turned out obese.

[–]shizzy0 0 points1 point ago

yea. you're not over still her...

FTFY

[–]wheeldawg 0 points1 point ago

You're still not over her...

FTFY

[–]tetrasyzygy 59 points60 points ago

I'm so disappointed you didn't post pics.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]UntimelyBoner 8 points9 points ago

[–]Wheelchairdawg 18 points19 points ago

OH GOD WHY

[–]tetrasyzygy 6 points7 points ago

Wait, after taking a peek at your past posts, I don't know your gender anymore.

[–]mrjentipede 8 points9 points ago

"My girlfriend keeps getting sexier" got a long way to go

[–]ElyBoBelly 3 points4 points ago

To my disappointment, she seems to be icky in the inside...

[–]duel007 4 points5 points ago

I am not disappoint.

[–]Omegle 6 points7 points ago

not really hot :\ i am dissappoint..

but in the end its none of my business... if OP is happy then who am i to say shit

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]daffodilhill 12 points13 points ago

Wow, you're mean.

[–]lunarlander 2 points3 points ago

Her GW pics suck but her post on gonenatural looks great and is clearly just a better taken photo! I'd say this represents her more than those horrible GW pics.

[–]ErnestEverhard 8 points9 points ago

Yeah she looks like a totally normal woman to me. Not super sexy, not the tightest body just normal. This may come as a surprise to some of you since you only see pics of people online but that is what average looking people look like naked.

[–]lunarlander 1 point2 points ago

No surprise, but even for an average person those were poorly taken photos (the ones on GW).

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]dorlamp 24 points25 points ago

Granted, he is a dick for saying that to you, but you can't really judge his tastes. He's still an ass though.

[–]Cobek 16 points17 points ago

Unintelligent and low morals don't always go with the societal standards for beauty. That's just ignorant and rude to say. Not saying his comment wasn't rude either, though.

[–]Just_for_Show 12 points13 points ago

...Says the chick with pics on GW O_o That's Omegle's personal opinion. By the way, there is NOTHING wrong with being "skinny".

[–]Dolewhip 5 points6 points ago

Nice, fighting rude people with bitchiness. I looked at your username and the OP's and was starting to think that maybe you two are the same person. What's MAC17?

[–]Tufgy 9 points10 points ago

reads all the comments

What the hell is going on?

[–]hobofats 8 points9 points ago

i think we are all missing the point here: OP has had TWO GIRLFRIENDS!!

[–]BeNign618 2 points3 points ago

OP IS CLEARLY NOT A FAG IT SAYS SO RIGHT IN THE OP!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]b4freedom 113 points114 points ago*

Good for you. My ex was an actual cow that we slaughtered and ate. She was delicious.

[–]jjdonnovan 4 points5 points ago

hanniblethecannible

[–]Nutchos 0 points1 point ago

I'm gonna use this.

[–]closenough 9 points10 points ago

Real life karma at work. Way to show him!

[–]epicyon 8 points9 points ago

Ideally, for optimum karma, one wouldn't feel the need to prove anything to him.

Regardless, congrats on the weight loss. Always tough after surgery.

[–]closenough 6 points7 points ago

I don't think she isn't trying to prove him anything (as far as we know).

She is just sharing a story with us.

[–]epicyon 1 point2 points ago

Me neither. My comment was more of a reaction to your words "Way to show him!"; only my congratulations was directed at her. I should have been more clear about that - sorry.

[–]danikali4nia 3 points4 points ago

Good for you girl! When my ex bf broke up with me, he told me he hoped I'd get fatter. Bummer for him, I'm already down 6lbs.

[–]Groltaarthedude 5 points6 points ago

She had sex with Christmas?!

Ewwww.

[–]Obj_solid 3 points4 points ago

HO HO HO HO!

[–]dianthe 6 points7 points ago

I think it is probably a good thing you didn't end up with someone so shallow anyway! He will probably leave his wife as soon as he meets someone slimmer and more attractive... he just sounds like that kinda guy -_-

My husband and I have been together since I was 15 and he was 19, we've been together for 9 years now and have seen each other at perfect weight, under weight, overweight and that didn't change anything in our relationship. We just moved to USA from the UK and we've been very physically active here (skiing, hiking) which has been great for our fitness :)

[–]Kage520 2 points3 points ago

First half of your story made me sad, second half made me smile.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

It's only natural to pack on a few pounds and acquire a healthy stomach during pregnancy.

[–]siouxsie_sioux 18 points19 points ago

It's not okay. Must stay thin no matter what.

[–]iloveboatssohard 0 points1 point ago

spray all of her food with deep heat, she wont be eating or getting fat.

[–]frobischer 13 points14 points ago

This story ends with you being brought to her in carbonite.

[–]stortz 0 points1 point ago

HAHAHAHAHHAA

[–]jewdo 5 points6 points ago

[–]LovinItsWhatIGot 33 points34 points ago

Keeps getting sexier? Did you put her in a sexy cannon where they shot her to sexy town to get sexy injections and get prescribed sexy pills from doctor sexy?

[–]jamesf797 6 points7 points ago

I went to sexy town once. Believe it or not, they take really good care of the roads and historic landmarks there.

[–]twitchMAC17[S] 2 points3 points ago

No, she just went to the gym and kept going back.

[–]siouxsie_sioux 22 points23 points ago

Is she a thoroughbred?

[–]lilrabbit129 5 points6 points ago

I like this line.

[–]aradicalpanda 4 points5 points ago

For me this is more along the lines of, 'My boyfriend is actually going somewhere in his life while my ex had to leave me for what he thought would be a sugar mama. Then I got a six figure contract with DC, so he can suck my karmic balls.' :D

[–]BookBeard 3 points4 points ago

My girlfriend keeps getting sexier and my exes don't matter.

[–]PiastPL 7 points8 points ago

FALSE. Neil Patrick Harris is gay

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

I love how he is driving either CL63 or CL65 AMG mercedes...one of my favorite cars.

[–]av4rice 1 point2 points ago

Thanks for that. I was about to post asking what car that was, because the seats look awesome.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Yup, you can tell that its a CL because the window doesnt have B pillars the windows can roll all the way down, its a great effect. Also, you can tell its an AMG because that little round logo in the middle of the seat is the AMG logo.

(http://image.automobilemag.com/f/6699887+w750+st0/0609_z+2007_mercedes-benz_CL63_AMG+interior.jpg)

I own a lesser c-class AMG and have the upgraded napa leather seats and they are awesome. Not quite as awesome as these with built in massagers and what not, but the build quality on AMG's is amazing.

[–]deefrances 8 points9 points ago

and you look like neil patrick harris. your life must be good.

[–]ani625 5 points6 points ago

http://imgur.com/Cqv60

910.37 GB bandwidth

O_O

Reason: Top of this page - other discussions (10)

[–]ganjamensch 6 points7 points ago

Why does this have any upvotes AT ALL? I don't understand it. It's a picture we all saw dozens of times, just with a new, uninteresting, pointless title.

Come to think of it, most of the content on reddit is like that lately. Just some regurgitated old memes with new titles, like "how I look when insert noun here" Or my favorite, "this picture still makes me laugh".

Reddit has really gone downhill lately..

[–]chocolateshark 2 points3 points ago

I always have an upvote for Neil Patrick Harris.

[–]LordOfGummies 47 points48 points ago

You feel the need to share this stupid reaction .gif because? You're shallow?

[–]hisnamewaschaz 23 points24 points ago

so you're going out with his ex now, huh

[–]Schamson 10 points11 points ago

I don't really get what's wrong with being "shallow". I'm pretty shallow, but I own up to it. If someone doesn't want to go out/take an interest in someone they're not attracted to can you really blame them? If that's how they screen people, regardless of their personality, that's just their burden. I don't think it's my job or anyone else for that matter to tell them what they can and should be attracted to.

P.S. Not attacking anyone, just a thought I had on the topic of being "shallow"

[–]vnprc 3 points4 points ago

I agree. It's important to be attracted to your mate. Fortunately, this is the easiest thing to filter b/c you can tell right away if someone is attractive.

Now, if someone is only attracted to people with fake tans and bad attitudes, judge away.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

It's all about confirmation.

[–]islaydragons -4 points-3 points ago

And what? You'll fuck anything with two legs? Because that's how not shallow you are.

[–]LordOfGummies 3 points4 points ago

Not really but unlike the rest of you 16 year olds I don't jump into the fat hate circle jerk either.

[–]islaydragons 1 point2 points ago

No, you're right. I just wasn't aware that having physical preferences as well as an aversion for someone who might have hurt you was being shallow. I also didn't realize drawing conclusions on someone's character was possible through a gif of NPH.

Us 16 year olds really need to wise up. So immature.

[–]omgwhothehellcares 0 points1 point ago

It's animal instinct buddy.

[–]TheCannon 6 points7 points ago

Good living is the best revenge.

[–]Immynimmy 7 points8 points ago

Turns out that between the OP and his ex, he was actually the "bad guy"

[–]redrubynail 4 points5 points ago

Pics or it didn't happen!

[–]mrsully1981 1 point2 points ago

i love barney!!

[–]gossameriv 1 point2 points ago

I don't get it.

[–]orange_jooze 0 points1 point ago

Circlejerk.

[–]Aperture_client 1 point2 points ago

Is it just me or are absolutely none of the imgur links in this thread working..

[–]epicyon 1 point2 points ago*

Am I the only person here who doesn't relish in the misfortune of bygone lovers?

Edit: Apparently not. :) I posted before reading many comments.

[–]WaffleSports 1 point2 points ago

I thought Barney didn't know how to drive?

[–]GeorgeYung25 1 point2 points ago

Fred taught him at the Pebble and Rock co.

[–]daklassy1 1 point2 points ago

No mater hau kompeling ov un argyoomint u pravide, grammer misstakes oblitarate ur kredabiliti.

[–]epicurusaurelius 0 points1 point ago

I'm guessing a grammatically incorrect diss would have been too subtle.

[–]mobu 1 point2 points ago

you have a girlfriend?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

proof?

[–]flippity_flogger 1 point2 points ago

This comment thread is hilarious. So much downvoting

[–]kantorekB14 1 point2 points ago

TIL: People on reddit can tell a persons psychological state from a gif they post.

[–]nicetryguy9 1 point2 points ago

[–]joos7734 0 points1 point ago

love reel big fish

[–]ahawks 1 point2 points ago

Don't worry, the new girlfriend will break your heart and keep getting sexier.

[–]chollyer 3 points4 points ago

This is pretty much the best thing that can happen to a person who lacks kids or an amazing career.

[–]Aejaxe 0 points1 point ago

I'm fine with having no kids, but can I keep the amazing career?!

[–]coolcatADD 7 points8 points ago

borat voice highfive

[–]r-howtonotgiveafuck 10 points11 points ago

Reddit seems a little vindictive today...

[–]snuggit 3 points4 points ago

happy for you bro

[–]slid3r 4 points5 points ago

Doesn't matter, had NPH.

[–]KosstAmojan 2 points3 points ago

Eh, whatever. I always feel its healthier for all involved to just move on. Dwelling on stuff like this just seems to invite bad karma.

[–]SiddarthaVader 3 points4 points ago

a summary of my current situation! Lovin' it. Although the guy who got my ex is into fat chicks so w/e

[–]Killgraft 7 points8 points ago

Win win for everyone, it seems

[–]SiddarthaVader 0 points1 point ago

indeed.

[–]Couldntstoplaughing 2 points3 points ago

SMASHING!!

[–]PersonEveryman 1 point2 points ago

Does no one ever have amicable break-ups on this site? It's never, "It just wasn't going to work out, but I wish her/him the best."

It's always, "Fuck them I hope all the bad things in life happen to them and only them."

I think the school children officially own this website. 4chan all over again.

[–]thecotton 1 point2 points ago

I am friends with all my ex's except one who got a bit creepy afterwards and I didn't feel safe around him.

I wish them all the best, despite everything that happened. We weren't meant to be, but I realize they were an important part in what I learned and shaping me into the person I needed to be in some cases. I got weak in college, they made me strong again and I wouldn't be the same person without those lessons. I still have a lot of growing to do, but I wouldn't change a thing that happened. It was necessary.

[–]PersonEveryman 1 point2 points ago

Good for you, that's good to hear. I sometimes feel like all the posts and comments are just people who hate these people they once professed to care about...it's depressing.

Maybe like the other poster said, they just don't speak up creating a slanted selection bias. Thanks for weighing in.

[–]endlessmeow 2 points3 points ago*

If it ended amicably there wouldn't be a reason to post it. Thus, it probably happens often enough but it will never be brought up here without another reason that is weird or funny.

Edit: Fixed a typo.

[–]bartoron 1 point2 points ago

Congrats on having a sexy girlfriend?

[–]XAmsterdamX 1 point2 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]imwatchingyousleep 0 points1 point ago

C'est la vie

[–]GeorgeYung25 0 points1 point ago

life is cruel, treat you unfairly.

[–]thecotton 1 point2 points ago

Wow, really Reddit? Yes, instead of being good, kind hearted people, lets look at the girls GW pics and proceed to say in vile and rude manners how UGLY she is. Then get mad when she reacts angrily and tell her how ugly she is on the inside. They may have been offensive ("fatties, etc), but take the high road people, damn. No need to grow fangs and rip at someones insecurities.

Way to keep it classy. ಠ_ಠ

[–]bbqbot 0 points1 point ago

502 - Bad Gateway.

[–]thebugguy 0 points1 point ago

well played.

[–]PolardOOd 0 points1 point ago

It happened the other way around for me...

[–]dscrd 0 points1 point ago

Congratulations of possibly making your ex depressed and thus causing her to accumulate teh fatti!

[–]mattyp92 0 points1 point ago

I wish this was the case, it is reversed for me :(

[–]FranciscoEverywhere 0 points1 point ago

This is a surprisingly high quality gif.

[–]Crazybonbon 0 points1 point ago

CL class

[–]resqual 0 points1 point ago

I thought the passenger seat had a ponytail...

[–]joos7734 0 points1 point ago

He's gay.....are you gay? Did you mean your butt buddy?

[–]kobello 0 points1 point ago

did you break up with your ex? cause if you did then you may be the reason she got obese

[–]bergerman 0 points1 point ago

It's funny because he's gay

[–]orange_jooze 0 points1 point ago

Why the fuck is this on the frontpage? It's an irrelevant gif with an irrelevant title.

[–]PanaReddit 0 points1 point ago

She got obese because you left her!

[–]nonchalamment 0 points1 point ago

What... happened here? This looks like the aftermath of a tornado

[–]Nhialor 0 points1 point ago

looks like a girls hand...

[–]Jellycent 0 points1 point ago

What the fuuuuuck happened here...

[–]Gasonfires 0 points1 point ago

In real life it is ALWAYS the other way around. You know that, don't you?