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top 200 commentsshow all 334

[–]madsell 47 points48 points ago

see this is why i have social anxiety and can't talk to people (friends/family/strangers) about my depression. all the goddamn stigma. it's fucking ridiculous...

[–]noreallyimthepope 3 points4 points ago

I used to know someone who had social anxiety. The first thing she'd say after introducing herself was that she had a mental disorder. It seemed kind of weird to me (that she felt she had to say that right off) until I realized that it was about controlling the situation in which it was known, rather than surfacing later at an uncontrolled time. That way, she felt safer and less prone to anxiety.

As with everything, YMMV and people are different.

[–]betterthanthee 0 points1 point ago

The first thing she'd say after introducing herself was that she had a mental disorder.

Honestly I would end that conversation as quickly as possible and avoid all unnecessary contact with her from then on.

I say this as someone who suffers from various "mental disorders."

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Talvoren 5 points6 points ago

Letting your dad rot in a home would make you no better than him. Break the cycle.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

dude, sorry for the shit (read: pain) you're going through.

[–]zHellas 8 points9 points ago

You could do it over the Internet, like emails or instant messaging.

I say this because I also have social anxiety, but it seems to not hinder any social activity on the Internet.

Hope my suggestion is useful.

[–]Moskau50 1 point2 points ago

Same. I'm fairly extroverted on Reddit and in TeamSpeak.

Just not in person.

[–]whileatwork75 3 points4 points ago

20 years of adult depression and the only thing I can say is that YOU are they only person that can dig yourself out of the mental hole.

[–]hurdyburdyborkbork 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, well, it's not something that can be done in one day. If you actually suffer from a clinical depression, it's gonna take a lot of time to dig yourself out of that hole, but yes, you have to do it yourself.

The thing about the social stigma of depression is that a lot of people mistake feeling down for actual depression, so when someone else is suffering from depression, people will just think it is what they think is depression, i.e. feeling down for a short period.

[–]bitter_cynical_angry 1 point2 points ago

Change comes from within. It took me a long time to learn that.

[–]Canis_lupus 1 point2 points ago

I highly recommend not talking to them then. At least find a support group or something even less formal on meetup.com. I'm totally serious - when you interact with another depressed person you will feel less alone which, honestly, makes an unbelievable difference.

[–]envysiblegirl 1 point2 points ago

If you are an adult, consider seeing a psychologist or a licensed counselor. (I hope you have insurance.)

It feels weird at first, talking to a stranger about your problems, but there should be NO stigma coming from a professional.

Lately my depression and anxiety have been crippling. I'm just starting a relationship with a PhD level psychologist, and have seen an LPC in the past. It was very helpful for me. I'd leave with a weight off of my chest.

Nobody can know what you talk about in the sessions, unless you give them permission. (unless it's killing yourself or someone else, or if the professional deems you in immediate danger.)

I'm not sure what else I can say, but PM me if you want to talk about that black dog.

[–]Dolewhip 0 points1 point ago

Sorry, I have to ask. Are you White? Like skin color.

[–]redbeardo 6 points7 points ago

Reminds me when I mentioned I needed a support community to vent after my divorce. I was asked why I couldn't handle that stuff myself.

[–]PrometheusTitan 29 points30 points ago

Came here to post this. As someone who spent a fair amount of my adolescent and adult years grappling with mild-to-moderate depression, this summed it up perfectly.

[–]Shimster 7 points8 points ago

Most of the females in my family have all had or are still going through depression it made them do stupid stuff, the worst was when my mum tried to kill her self, i was about 10. The funniest was when she held up a bank with a banana and got sectioned, we still laugh about this to today, she has manic depression and does some pretty insane stuff, some hilarious and just insane but she still jokes about it when she is sane for the short amount of time.

though i still can't comprehend depression i have always been so upbeat about everything i never get stressed never get worried never get down, i wish they could take what ever is making me always so cheery and give it to everyone who is suffering, it would make the world a great place :)

[–]BeatlesForSale 2 points3 points ago

She held up a bank with a banana? That's brilliant! Did the police send an armed response unit? Haha.

[–]Shimster 5 points6 points ago

This was around 8 years ago now, and no the police did arrive but it didn't last all that long and she didn't steal any money just the intention of holding up the bank for a few minuets, the police came as she was know by the bank manager and they took her to the hospital i got pulled out of my lesson at school and was told by one of the teachers what had happened i just pissed my self laughing as i knew she was manic, they seem concerned.

the only bad thing was my parents had split up and i had to go live with my dad as she was on a hospital ward for a few months, was fun though to bond with my dad as my mum would not let me see him much we still have a great bond together fixing cars up and stuff.

[–]Gortos 2 points3 points ago

They were all threatening her with cucumbers.

[–]fanboat 2 points3 points ago

[–]BeatlesForSale 2 points3 points ago

Good job she didn't have a pointed stick.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

Oh wow this is brilliant.

I nearly did something stupid to myself during grad school. The people I tried to talk to about it either got a "deer-in-the-headlights" look, or usually exhibited some sort of response like "oh, you'll get over it" or "stop whining". I wish I'd had someone to just listen.

I can't speak for others, but in my case I managed to do something about it - the "fix" was a mixture of getting enough sleep, cutting down on booze, proper diet, exercise, sunlight, professional perspective, time, and a bit of personal determination.

I probably had a mild case compared to a lot of people (although it sure felt utterly crippling at times), and while I was able to slowly crawl my way up again, it was fucking hard. Even when I did manage to come around to the idea that there was some hope, it took incredible willpower to accept that I wasn't just a total useless lost cause and that there was a chance I could somehow get help/do something about it.

I still get this now and then, but based on that shit experience, I have a reasonable recipe for dealing with it of which I somehow, in the back of my head, know that it works.

[–]rugtoad 5 points6 points ago

This hits home.

But only because I have a mangled hand and deal with chronic pain in it on a daily basis..

Truth be told, I'll take that over depression any day. I've been on antidepressants for the pain...SSRI's suck serious balls.

[–]Eighty-Nine 2 points3 points ago

Now I'm interested; how was being on an SSRI? I mean I know the side effects but it's nice to hear someone's experience.

[–]rugtoad 3 points4 points ago*

I'm a bit sensitive to them, apparently, so I'm not sure my experience is best to go by. Also, my pain was likely not caused by a serotonin imbalance...which meant that SSRI's should be contraindicated.

I've been on a couple of different SSRIs, and some dual-acting painkillers with SSRI-like affects. The dual-acting painkillers actually do pretty well with only mild discomfort up front, but the full-blown SSRIs made me nauseated horribly...they made sleep difficult and brought on headaches like I've never felt.

One particular one (Cymbalta) put me in the hospital with "serotonin syndrome" (my levels being normal, this drug pushed them WAY too high and basically sent me a little closer to death than what most people are comfy with). I was more miserable than I've ever been, and that was after a single pill. Cymbalta is a time-release formula, too...staying in your system for a full 24 hours....and while they can treat the sickness, it's not going to let up until the drug is out.

The fun affects of that one were: Vomiting, constant nausea, hallucinations (walls melting...), disorientation, shakiness, and a headache worse than anything I've ever felt.

After that, I swore off those drugs entirely...which sucks as a chronic pain patient, when you tell your doctor you absolutely won't take one of their more common non-narcotic treatments, they hear "GIVE ME NARCOTICS!!!" It ended up with me having to change doctors because the guy who gave me the SSRI's pretty much threw his hands up and said that there was nothing left to do for me if I wouldn't cooperate and take drugs that made me feel like I was dying (to be fair, that guy wasn't a great doctor either way).

I know a lot of people do well with them, I think those are people with a legitimate serotonin imbalance that is causing their symptoms. If that's the case, the nausea, headache and sleeplessness apparently subside after a few weeks of treatment and they have stuff to help you get through those weeks. I wasn't on em long enough to go through the apparent sexual side effects, which are one of the biggest complaints from these things.

Hope that helps:)

[–]silent_p 2 points3 points ago

Whoa. I guess it's a sign that it was probably an appropriate medication that I didn't experience any of that on SSRI's. A little nausea, and that was it.

[–]hoodoochild 1 point2 points ago

I had never taken antidepressants to treat depression in the past...I also coincidentally was in denial about how long I was depressed. I am on Celexa and have been for four years. It took some time to get the dose right and I had to be patient for it to take effect-for me it took four months. It litterally saved my life and has been worth all the side effects. I cannot emphasize how much it simply helps clear your thoughts. It is not the solution though...they are a tool. You cannot just take them and think everything will be okay. I read some books on the principles of cognitive behavioural therapy and can honestly say its the two that keep me well. Good luck and know that no one knows how you feel but you and you just need to keep moving forward no matter what

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

I've been on a few and had similar experience to rugtoad. I have an autoimmune disorder so any medication i take my body flips the hell out and knowing this my psych (fucking idiot) put me on lexapro which are some pretty hardcore drugs with some horrific side effects. Basically ruined my life for a year physically..BUT, mentally they were amazing. I could cope mentally for the first time in my life.

Fact is, no one can tell you how it is because its different for everyone. I would recommend anyone with depression to try as many different ones until you've found the one that fits you regardless of side effects because they can help a lot.

[–]LiamNeesonAteMyBaby 2 points3 points ago

Man, this is legendary. Thanks for this.

[–]camelhorder 0 points1 point ago

I had been depressed for about 15 years up until recent months. I was on SSRI's for a couple of months but felt like all of my emotions were being compressed. So the lows were skimmed off but so were the occasional spouts of happiness. I knew that couldn't work for me so I found this site and it helped me in ways I didn't think would be possible. It's a method called cognitive behavioural therapy and it basically trains you to think differently about your actions and situations you've been in. It also helped wonders with my anxiety.

[–]Papaver-Somniferum 108 points109 points ago

I have been depressed for several years now. It got to the point where I was having suicidal thoghts and dreams just about every day/night (but obviously never had the required mix of balls and selfishness to go through with that). I know people mean well when they tell you to "get over it" or "think about the people who are much worse off than you", and they have a point. But here is the really fucked up thing about being depressed:

When hearing these "this is why you are not really bad off"-stories, a depressed person normally won't think "Oh shut up, I have it so much worse than these starving kids/tortured animals/...", they're usually well aware of the fact that others have it much worse. That still doesn't just magic the depression away. So, in addition to feeling like shit, you'll feel like shit about feeling like shit. You feel like you have no justification for feeling as bad as you feel and that makes you hate yourself even more.

There is no one size fits all solution to help someone who is depressed. However, telling someone how it's "not as bad as you think" will almost certainly end up being counterproductive.

[–]pmurph03 24 points25 points ago

my parents always give me the "just think of all those starving kids and how they feel, and how you're life's better".. makes me feel exactly like you said.

I've just come to realize that most people just don't understand what it's like..

[–]TheseAreTheEndTimes 15 points16 points ago

It's really hard comprehending it without experiencing it.

[–]Darkslime-Z 0 points1 point ago

I've never had depression, but I've definitely had times where I've felt like shit for feeling like shit. Usually I bring it on myself, too, since I'm not a depressed person, and thus don't have people pestering me about it.

I can't imagine what feeling like that for any more than a little while feels like, though.

[–]lawnmowerkitties 0 points1 point ago

That's why I don't talk to people about how I feel.

[–]supergai 8 points9 points ago

I used to deal with depression too (i still occasionally do, but not as much). I had a friend in high school who would deal with suicidal thoughts and whatnot for a while, because of my backround, i figured out, you can never really get someone over depression, the best thing you can do is show them they're loved and it usually tends to show them that people to care enough about them to help them cheer up for a while.

[–]Dr_Buttes 3 points4 points ago*

I'm in the same boat more or less, it's rare that I do actually get depressed now and even then, it's nowhere near as bad but what I do want to say to anyone still dealing with it is A) Get to a doctor and tell them about it, no saying that you feel suicidal isn't going to get you carted off to a hospital (seriously, that was my biggest fear) and B) Keep going to them until you get something that works, either medication or some sort of therapy. I actually went through 3 or 4 different medications and decided "oh fuck it this isn't going away" and just sorta resigned myself to feeling like shit for the rest of my life.

Then I had what I actually class as a happy accident, I got a herniated spinal disc and the doctor started me on this to help with the pain, it actually did absolutely nothing for the pain but as they ramped the dosage up over the month, it still did nothing for the pain, but over the course of a week or so, I slowly realised that I wasn't getting down anymore. As I said, I do still get the odd bout of depression but it's much more managable.

I don't think anyone ever completely gets rid of depression, and there certainly isn't a lightswitch cure but it is REALLY worth sticking with getting help, I know how easy it is to let the depression take over and stop bothering but as someone who has been on both sides of the fence I would say that the most important thing is patience, you may get lucky and find that the first treatment works great or you may have to try again and again, but eventually something will work and you'll thank yourself for sticking with it.

Also if anyone is at this stage and needs some encouragement or whatever, feel free to PM me.

This is way longer than I intended so TL;DR: be patient when getting treatment, there's no lightswitch cure for depression.

[–]supergai 1 point2 points ago

ya, i never actually took medication, but it felt like my life sucked, i wanted it to be over. and idk, it kinda went away (still pops up randomly about stupid stuff, but i get through it). i think it all started when i got a friend who had my problem but took medication for it, i helped them, and then we both started getting better at it. so if you need help in the meantime looking for help, just find someone who you can share what's going on with.

[–]fisos 1 point2 points ago

Hey, I'm mostly marking this so I can research the drug at a later time, but I want to thank you for your story. I have a small range of symptoms, from greatest to least: Anxiety, depression, headaches, insomnia(which recently has seemed to solve itself). I've never mustered up the courage to talk to a doctor about getting medication, mainly because my freinds and family hold a stigma againt those sort of things, and it's not an every day thing, so I figure if I can ge through the few weeks of downtime, I can enjoy the few weeks of feeling good. Either way, thank you.

[–]Dr_Buttes 0 points1 point ago

I can relate to not wanting to tell people as well, I told my parents the bare minimum and now it's just a case of, they don't ask, I don't tell. They don't really seem to "get" it and are pretty much the kind of people who would just say "oh get over it".

Bizarrely enough one of the things that actually gave me the courage to go and get help was The Sopranos, if you've never seen it, I'd give it a go. It may sound stupid but it actually deals with a lot of similar things, except in this case it was a mafia boss trying to keep his therapy on the quiet because he'd get killed if people knew he was talking to a psychiatrist, a show about the mob is about the last place I expected to actually find depressed people I could relate to, and even vicariously get therapy from.

The one other thing I would say is, if you did get Amitriptyline it would almost certainly help the insomnia too, I've always been a fairly light sleeper but now, once I'm out, I'm out for a good 8 hours and I could probably sleep right through an earthquake.

[–]mactac 1 point2 points ago

So, I'm also on Amitriptyline for pain (leg & feet), and I'm finding that it's not doing anything for the pain. I started on 10mg, and have slowly ramped up to 30mg. At what dosage did you start to see the antidepressant action?

It's definitely helped me with my sleep - I didn't realize that I had a sleep problem until I started taking this drug - I now know what "real sleep" is.

I guess the way in which this drug is supposed to act is that it forces you into REM sleep more than normal, and REM is supposed to be the best for pain recovery.

All I know now is that I have crazy-ass dreams, and I feel absolutely dead in the morning - it seriously takes me 2h to really wake up.

Did you feel the same?

[–]Dr_Buttes 0 points1 point ago

I'm on 100mg a night now, mine is also partially for my leg, supposedly it slows down some of your nerve reaction times so you don't feel as much pain but that side of it has never worked for me. I am the same when it comes to waking up, it takes an absolute age for me to actually wake up and be more than a caveman. I'm not entirely sure what dosage I noticed the anti-depressant side kicking in to be honest, it was just something I slowly realised over a couple of weeks, I started out on 10mg and the doc doubled that every couple of weeks until I was onto 100mg, so I'd say it was probably somewhere between 60-80 it started to kick in. That's just an educated guess though. By the time I'd been on 100mg for a few weeks and wasn't getting any pain suppression from it, the doctor said he was going to taper my dose so I could move onto something else until I mentioned how much it had improved my mood.

Do you get the nasty side effect of getting a really dry mouth? That's gone away for me now but it was pretty bad for a while, add in the long sleep times and I'd pretty often wake up with absolutely no saliva in my mouth at all, which was... odd.

[–]mactac 1 point2 points ago

Hmmm, ok thanks - maybe I'll try upping my dosage a bit & see what happens, nothing like self-medicating ;)

I haven't really had a dry mouth problem, but I do wake up really thirsty. I've also noticed some weight gain, though that could be my crappy eating habits!

Did you ever get your leg pain sorted out?

[–][deleted] ago*

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

This, word for word, is EXACTLY what my mother did to me and how I was as a child. One long term effect was I would never be able to throw anything away because of the guilt i felt for abandoning anything, even inanimate objects. I am still like that now. The guilt would become so unbearable that I also self harmed as a way of releasing the tension. Im in my mid twenties now and she still bloody does it.

[–]uhohdynamo 2 points3 points ago

For me, part of what was so depressing was knowing I had absolutely no reason to feel this way. Nothing made me feel more hopeless than knowing that not only did I not know why I felt like this, but that there wasn't a whole lot I could do to fix it, and that I was stuck.

[–]PotataChipz 2 points3 points ago

God, this. I was in my high school counselor's office crying my ass off and trying to get her to switch me out of an honors class that was killing me, and her response was basically: these are the best years of your life and it only gets harder from here on out and you should be happy to only be in high school!

BITCH, IF I HAD BELIEVED YOU I WOULD BE DEAD!

[–]fanboat 1 point2 points ago

There was a girl in my group of friends I managed to finally obtain in my senior year of high school who firmly believed that those years would be objectively the high-point of our lives. Even when I wasn't in a depressed state, I could not understand how anyone could think that and not kill themselves immediately upon graduation (or sooner, if you had my freshman year). I cannot see that as anything but the most miserably sad way of looking at life, yet she was a cheery individual. Actually, she was a cheerleader.

[–]nobaraotome 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, some people forget when they get older how difficult it is to be that age (not that I'm far off from it or anything).

[–]jupiters_cock 1 point2 points ago

Yep, this right here.

[–]Plothunter 1 point2 points ago

Yup. You can live in Cinderella's castle in Disney World and still be depressed.

[–]Batolemaeus 1 point2 points ago

Actually, that would be worse than living in a basement being depressed.

Happy people are a reminder that other people are able to experience happiness and emotions.

[–]beebop_1024 1 point2 points ago

Just a comment relevant to this statement. I too think about how good my life is even though I'm depressed. And while it does not help the situation, I have read that people in affluent nations may be more depression-prone. I think it was also mentioned in this freakonomics podcast.

To me, knowing that people better off are more likely to be depressed at least helps me feel less shitty about feeling like shit.

[–]gossameriv 1 point2 points ago*

I have the same thoughts... but after a while, and I mean a good long while with it, it just becomes something you deal with and shrug off.

Pretty much every problem within can be controlled with extreme apathy. "I want to kill myself."... well, I have shit to do, I should probably bury that thought because I don't really care for killing myself. What difference does it make?

It's basically just me accepting that it's how my mind works, I have to work around it, do something else, keep the thoughts away because they really don't matter. I have people and responsibilities that I personally have to live for. No matter how many of those thoughts come about, that's just how it is.

What goes on in your head doesn't directly effect the outside world, it just effects you. What you do as far as your thoughts are concerned are an issue. Should you ever really decide to kill yourself, consider the problems that would create and what you might miss out on should you ever pull the trigger, drag the knife, tie the knot, whatever method. To me, the world is too interesting to leave, even though sometimes I consider killing myself, it's too much fun to leave. There's always something going on in the news or something that people do that keeps me here and I've got my disabled father to look after.

I'm sure you've probably got someone or something that depends on you as well, and if you don't then find a reason for yourself to stick around. Get a hobby you enjoy doing or whatever your area of expertise.

Another road I've been down is realizing that I'm too worthless to a point that killing myself wouldn't make any difference at all, and it wouldn't. Some people would mourn and that would be the end of it. Would it end your pain? I have no idea. No one does. Everyone has at least one or two problems in their life, the best thing you can do is try to either work them out, or cloud them by working around them.

[–]puterTDI 1 point2 points ago

Honestly, I suffered from depression for years as well, I ended up getting better. I've been trying to explain to a friend who is suffering from it now and I think that I come off the same way.

In order to deal with my depression I had to make a concious decision to not be unhappy. The problem is that this comes off as saying "get over it". The thing is that depression is self-feeding. For some reason, feeling bad for yourself is almost addictive.

I had a girlfriend (first) break up with me (after treating me very badly). I had a choice at that point to let it break me, or become the person I want. I made a decision that I was going to become the person I wanted. From there, I just conciously policed myself and did not allow myself to feel self-pity. Once I made the decision to no longer feel that way, I just had to always monitor my emotions and when they started going the route of self-pity then I stopped myself.

I'm a much much happier person now because of it. The problem I run into when trying to help/communicate to people how I dealt with it is that it has to be a decision they make. no one can make you stop being depressed, you have to decide that you no longer want to feel that way. You should seek out time with friends, you should seek out things to do. You can't depend on others to do that or you're just feeding the self-pity (especially if their lives keep them from reaching out and planning things for you).

It's hard to do, but it is possible.

[–]frobischer 0 points1 point ago

I've had best luck when fighting my depression by helping friends with their problems. When a friend is depressed and I can talk to that person and try to cheer him up it helps my depression a little.

[–]Ragnalypse 124 points125 points ago

I'm sorry about the depression, but man up and draw the fucking owl.

[–]max13007[S] 79 points80 points ago

But I suck at circles.

[–]Ragnalypse 130 points131 points ago

I guess you'll have to draw a triangowl.

[–]max13007[S] 31 points32 points ago

I see what you did there.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]wasniahC 10 points11 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] ago*

[deleted]

[–]wasniahC 8 points9 points ago

Oh god stop

[–]zHellas 3 points4 points ago

Why? Hoo doesn't like Owl puns?

[–]wasniahC 4 points5 points ago

In a few weeks time, some guy is going to turn up all "I have you RES'd as doesn't like owl puns". And it'l be all your fault. And possibly partly mine. But mostly yours.

ಠ___ಠ

[–]grzzzly 25 points26 points ago*

[–]snapcase 5 points6 points ago

Good quote and hell of an author.

[–]stareattheart 0 points1 point ago

My parents thought I was depressed, when it turned out that I just needed glasses and had migraines all the time.

[–]I_WIN_DEAL_WITH_IT 3 points4 points ago

That's why you should just draw the fucking owl.

[–]iSmoch 0 points1 point ago

See, it would seem your depression stems from your lack or artistic skill. Dont worry, I am, from this moment forth, forming a support group for those who are artistically challenged.

[–]3AYATS 8 points9 points ago

First, draw an "S"... for... Dragon. Then, draw a more different "S"...

[–]TheHistorianMan 40 points41 points ago

My mother is a psychotherapist with a focus on depressive patients. Her office was in the same building we lived, so I saw a lot of depressed people. Perhaps is the fact that they look totally normally and healthy, act normally and healthy (perhaps sometimes kind of bored) the trigger for most of the people to think it's "just a bad mood."

But it isn't. After 20 years, when I finally moved out, I can tell you Depression is not a fucking bad mood or a "pessimistic attitude". It's deep bullshit. But many people claim to have a "depression" while they just are a bunch of fucking emos. And they ruin the chances for the real patients to be accepted as such.

Be careful with your words. In both ways.

[–]madsell 21 points22 points ago

stigmastigmastigmastigmastigmastigmastigma. it kills me inside. all i want to do is be mentally stable and healthy and people act like i'm just being "sensitive". i hate that too, "you're just sensitive, you'll grow out of it."

or: "what's the matter?" 'nothing.' "c'mon..." 'no i'm not kidding nothing is wrong that's the problem!'

it makes me so freaking self-stabby.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I got fed the whole "you're too sensitive" bs too. Frustrating as hell.

[–]T_Twhy 11 points12 points ago

I think this is one of the big issues with people getting the "just get over it" response, is that it is such an overused statement that it becomes like the boy who cried wolf. A lot of people who are actually in the thick of it get treated like a whiner because the whiners are so abundant.

[–]TheHistorianMan 24 points25 points ago

When someone is asked "What's wrong with you?" and his/her answer is "I'm depressed 'cause blablabla..." the person is SAD not depressed. If your answer to this question would be screaming desperately "I DON'T KNOW!"... well, that sounds like being depressed.

[–]OIP 5 points6 points ago

this is a really quite marvellous explanation.

[–]madsell 3 points4 points ago

"upset" would be a good word. we need to try and get depressed to be a word used for depression and not upset or sad or pissed.

[–]Kiwilolo 4 points5 points ago

Technically, "depression" is a mood. It's feeling like horribleness that everyone experiences in their lifetime. After someone close dies, after a horrible breakup - times when you feel like everything is awful and the world is awful and you just want to die. The difference is, most people experience depression only when something really bad happens, and they eventually start to feel better again as time passes.

Diseases like major depressive disorder (which is the technical term for the disease most commonly referred to as "depression") make the mood of depression much harder to get out of when you're in it, and much easier to get into.

I'm not trying to make less of depression disorders, but it is good to keep in mind that someone doesn't have to have a disease to be crushingly, horribly sad. I think that's where so many people get the idea that you can "snap out of it" - because they have the experience of eventually recovering from a depressed time in their lives.

[–]Mcgyvr 0 points1 point ago

So TheHistorianMan had a very good point then. If you can tell why you're depressed you probably don't have MDD.

[–]Pharose 0 points1 point ago

I know exactly what you mean, I feel like emos ruined emotions for my generation and I never had the courage to talk about them. I didn't want to appear like those over dramatic teenagers who make a mockery out of emotion.

[–]APinkRobot 37 points38 points ago

I know that feel, bro.

[–]om1ss10nsixsix 5 points6 points ago

ditto

[–]Todomanna 5 points6 points ago

I feel the same way about social development.

"Just act confident, people will think you're awesome!"

If I could act confident, I wouldn't be in this predicament!

[–]iPhoneOrAndroid 5 points6 points ago

The vast majority of people don't realise it is a PHYSICAL condition, an imbalance in neurotransmitters, not just a state of mind.

[–]CrabCommander 1 point2 points ago*

First off: I am not a doctor, merely a person who finds depression as a point of study, and had some first hand experience with the non-clinical kind myself.

Second: Please feel free to click the links as you read this. Depression is a very complex subject, and I've made a point to connect my terminology to relevant wiki links to try to avoid confusion and help educate. with that said:

The problem with the above post is that depression is an emotion. A completely normal emotion. It is a response to terrible life circumstances or situations. Even if someone is depressed for a extended period of time, they may not necessarily have anything clinically wrong with them if their life is continuing to go to hell. Often times psychotherapy may be used here to help people get back on their feet, and take control of their life again.

However "depression" can also be a more clinical problem, referencing Major Depressive Disorder, or any number of other mood disorders. It is important to note that these are all 'syndromes', not strictly 'diseases'. The key difference being a 'syndrome' is simply a collection of similar apparent problems, without a singularly defined source. This is where things get very messy.

Effectively, what Major Depressive Disorder is designed to catch and codify is a group of people who are more susceptible to the emotion of depression. Meaning, they clinically get depressed easier and for longer. Now, with an emotion as messy as depression, you can imagine how hard this is to measure and manage.

In context of above, there are multiple different possible causes for Major Depressive Disorder; unfortunately, due to the nature of emotions and depression, it's impossible to specifically say any one thing causes it. Once again, keep in mind this is about things which cause higher susceptibility to depression, not depression itself. Everyone can become depressed, this is normal, most people simply do not become depressed as much.

Now, as you can imagine, from how closely tied 'normal' depression and Major Depressive Disorder are, there's a lot of mis-diagnosis, and also a lot of pressure (monetarily, societally, etc.) for doctors to simply prescribe 'Anti-Depressants' to people to deal with it. These do solve the symptom: they make it harder to become depressed, but they do not solve the cause in the case of a normal depression; this can be a critical problem. Take the below example:

You are in a natural depression due to failing your classes, you are feeling cognitive dissonance about the subject: You feel all people who fail school are bad people; you are failing school; thus you are a bad person. You must change your feeling about failing school or you must stop failing school in order to relieve the feeling of you being a bad person. An anti-depressant will not fix this problem.

It is, however, worth noting, that since depression (of any variety) can commonly interfere with day-to-day activities, sometimes Anti-Depressants may help resolve problems like the above example due to letting you focus less on being depressed, and thereby get more done (in the example, do more studying). It is arguable both ways weather this is an acceptable use of Anti-Depressants, particularly in context of their many side-effects and addictive nature.

Anyways, I'll leave you with this short list-style take-away to try to help people on both side of the board understand each other.

For the non-clinically depressed:

  • For you, getting out of a depression isn't too bad. Time heals all wounds, etc. For those with MDD, this isn't the case.
  • Depression for most people is 'targeted' to a degree; you can at least often point to causes for why you feel like you're a terrible person or your life is shitty. For those with MDD, they often cannot point to why they feel depressed.
  • For most, once they've resolved the problems causing their depression (failing classes, etc.), they are no longer depressed, or at least become significantly less so. People with MDD will often either not have a target for their depression, or feel the same/worse after resolving the subjects of depression.

For the clinically depressed:

  • When other people tell you to 'snap out of it', or tell you why your life isn't terrible, they're not trying to make you feel like shit; for most people once they realize their life isn't so bad, and they have some control over it, they stop feeling depressed.
  • When people say 'they were depressed once' they're not lying or bullshitting you, or were 'less depressed' than you necessarily; most people can get out of depression much easier, they may in fact just be trying to commiserate with you.

[–]iPhoneOrAndroid 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for the detail. Complex issue and difficult to diagnose for sure.

[–]alaysian 18 points19 points ago

my mom told me it was a phase and to get over it...she went to a therapist for HER depression though. 10 years of that BS.

[–]TheHistorianMan 0 points1 point ago*

I don't think seeing a therapist is BS. If I understand you correctly, you dont believe your mother had a depression. But "faking" a depression would be some kind of feeling "unimportant" or a scream for attention; perhaps a little bit comparable to obviously "half-hearted" suicide-attempts. So your mother did need help and, if the therapist she was seeing was any good at his job, he would find out the real problem and helped her.

Edit: I see, then I missunderstood him/her. But I won't change the commend so your answers can still make sence.

[–]TheseAreTheEndTimes 13 points14 points ago

It sounds like She was saying "get over it" for 10 years and that was BS. Not the depression part.

[–]wasniahC 6 points7 points ago

I think you misunderstand him - It comes across to me as, she told him he wasn't depressed, even though she was seeing a therapist for her own depression; the BS is how she just ignored his problems (Or her? wtb genderneutral pronoun)

[–]fanboat 0 points1 point ago

'Thon' is my favorite gender neutral pronoun, but I'm honestly okay with people using 'they' as a singular.

[–]wasniahC 1 point2 points ago

Often I use they, but in this case it might seem like I'm refering to both.. THON IT IS.

[–]99thRedBalloon 9 points10 points ago

I hear you. I tried running from my depression but it came after me like that big rolling rock in Indiana Jones and squashed me. Mentally I was fucked; I have spent the past few months trying to get my shit together but it's like wading through treacle some days. I recently had my antidepressant dose increased and every time this happens, it takes me a good couple of weeks for things to settle down. I feel fucking useless most days, just because I still can't do much. I can't even open my post without having a panic attack.

I am waiting to hear about CBT (not cock 'n' ball torture) so that I can build myself some new mental foundations with more self-esteem and less of me being fucking pathetic.

What hacks me off even more is that my usual outlets (art, music, writing) seem to have shut themselves off, so I can't even get going on that. Gardening is my theraputic activity at the moment.

{{HUGS}}, hang in there puts circled fingers up to face to make the sign of the owl

[–]sailingthefantasea 1 point2 points ago

I went through pretty much the exact same thing. After my 3rd drug change and nearly 4 years of feeling like shit, I finally start feeling better in regards to my depression (my anxiety is still pretty much fucked up but I'm doing therapy so it's getting there). So just stick with it, you'll get there some day.

[–]99thRedBalloon 0 points1 point ago

Cheers chuck, for the first time I can feel things working (I had to change tablets too - the first lot made my guts angry and then I got even more stressed!). Also, I finally have a great support system in my partner - he's so unbelievably patient and understanding. It makes all the difference :-)

[–]apmihal 0 points1 point ago

What hacks me off even more is that my usual outlets (art, music, writing) seem to have shut themselves off

I know how you feel. I think to myself, "but a bunch of the greats had depression, and they were able to pull it off!"

Don't get discouraged. It'll come back to you. It may be a while, but once it does, the pain of depression and anxiety will only make your art better. That's not an excuse to suffer more though.

Tonight I'm doing stand-up comedy. I've only done it once, a few years ago, and it took me a long time to get to this point. I'm still very depressed, but in a lot of ways, I'm better. The funny thing is that it's never been the anxiety of going up on stage that's stopped me, just the depression keeping me from being able to write material.

Good luck.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

To be honest I dont think anyone that has the motivation to pick up a pencil when theyre depressed is really depressed. Most prolific artists are depressed because its trendy. I have hundreds of hobbies but when I go through a bad spell I wont draw for 1-2 years at a time because I just cant. Its like my brain wont allow me to think of anything creative at all. Just have to enjoy the times when you can.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

Great quote I heard: telling a depressed person to just cheer up is like telling an insomniac to just get some sleep.

[–]happygirlz 11 points12 points ago

I first experienced depression at 16 and had it my whole life. (I'm now 50.) I've been on the SSRIs for nineteen years and I'm sure they were helping but not enough to get me to the place where I've been able to hold a steady job and function like a normal person. Then, six months ago a miracle happened. My GP heard about a test you can take (cost about 90 dollars) to see if you have a genetic mutation that prevents you from being able to absorb the B vitamin folate. I had never heard of this and no psychiatrist had ever mentioned it but apparently before you can absorb folate your body has to methylate it. I lacked the capacity to do the methylation. This had serious consequences because folate is the precurser to seratonin. All you have to do to correct the problem is to take a methylated form of folate and you can buy that over the counter. I take a stronger version called Deplin that is a prescription. I can't tell you what a difference this has made. I now can not only feel the joy I'd been missing all those years but I'm sending out resumes looking for work and feel like the future is bright. I want to get the word out about this I've done everything else over the years: meditation, therapy, religion, aggressive exercise...you name it. This is the first thing that has truly helped.

[–]Turnip_Blaster 1 point2 points ago

If you don't mind me asking; how long did it take for you to start feeling the change?

[–]Wingboner 0 points1 point ago*

This interests me. Does the condition have a name or something so I can begin researching it?

edit: Research has revealed poster is advertising an expensive product called deplin. Pass.

[–]pizzlybear 7 points8 points ago

Same with my social anxiety.

[–]OIP 13 points14 points ago

"just get out there and meet people"

[–]Instantdobie 5 points6 points ago*

I like it when people give me a one minute pep talk, like its going to solve a lifelong (so far) problem

[–]420Warrior 12 points13 points ago*

i know how you feel buddy.

This is how my chart goes:
Step 1: Circles

Step 1.5: Drugs

Step 2: Owls

I'm currently on step 1.5 myself.

[–]Farstucks 1 point2 points ago

Hey, good for you! Traditional meds never worked for me - I am currently experimenting with other stuff to try and relieve anxiety concerning the future. But it always makes me happy hearing about someone who is helped. Congratulations!

[–]lady_intheradiator 2 points3 points ago

I'm not sure if you mean recreational drugs or medication but I followed this method and it works! Prozac saved my life.

[–]Plothunter 2 points3 points ago

My dog saved me. You can't kill yourself when a dog is licking your tears.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

My dog saves me on many occasions too. Dogs are amazing.

[–]sacarn 1 point2 points ago

Ritalin tried to kill me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Dude, me too. It feels so nice to be in a boat with all of these nice people.

[–]Wingboner 1 point2 points ago

Citalopram continues to try to kill me.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Purpleprinter 0 points1 point ago

Step 1.5: Recreational made things worse. Prescription made things worse. I'm trying St John's Wart now and after a week things are in color!

[–]Plothunter 0 points1 point ago

Welbutrin for 15 years. Adderall 1 month. Cured! I can deal with almost anything now. But I still fear the thin ice of life.

[–]foxyshazamman 0 points1 point ago

420Warrior, I would share my stash with you bud. Draw some sweet fuckin' owls all night.

[–]JesterAzazel 15 points16 points ago

Starving children in other countries? Why don't they just eat something?

[–]max13007[S] 0 points1 point ago

Let them eat cake.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I'm glad I wasn't the only kid who felt completely cheated by the lack of explanation between three ovals, two triangles, and two circles, and a fully articulated bipedal animal. Where did all the fur come from? Did I miss a page?

[–]patthetree 2 points3 points ago

"One does not simply just get over depression".....sean bean

[–]TheFrenchKid 2 points3 points ago

Mirror?..

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I live in New Zealand, where people think the best treatment for depression is to "harden up". This treatment apparently also applys if you have a disease and are dying. Having real clinical depression is one of the worst things anyone will ever experience. There is absolutely no motivation to move and the frustration makes you want to tear your own body apart. People who have never had it will never get it, that is what makes depression so much worse. Its isolating.

[–]webchimp32 4 points5 points ago

On a similar note, I was diagnosed dyslexic in my late 30's and had heard all the 'dyslexics are just lazy, it's just an excuse for not working hard enough' etc. One night at the pub a friend came out with the lazy line and I kind of snapped a little. Gave a fifteen minute loud and rather angry lecture to her on exactly what dyslexia was and how it affected people.

It's hard when you have something wrong with you but you look perfectly fine.

I have been depressed on occasions for a lot of my life, partly due to things that I now know are related to my dyslexia but at the time I couldn't work out what the problem was. Finding about the dyslexia helped me understand my issues to some degree, but I still get a it depressed and angry on occasion because I know it's permanent and will only get worse.

My particular 'flavour' of dyslexia was equated to being something similar to a mild dose of dementia. The poor short term memory. There's no feeling like walking into a room or opening a draw to get something and looking in there knowing you wanted something but for the life of you you can't remember what to make you feel.. I don't know I can't exactly describe that feeling.

But I do know that in the future, as I get older. The normal effects of ageing on memory are going to start to kick in and it terrifies me.

That alone makes me depressed sometimes, but then... on the bright side I forget why I'm down and carry on for a time as if everything is fine.

[–]IAmInAFrat 1 point2 points ago

Did you have to use such a depressing owl?

[–]Newthinker 0 points1 point ago

The Internet is a cruel place.

[–]ZaInT 1 point2 points ago

I have, on multiple occations, verbally abused people who have said that to me. It's like telling a cancer patient to "just get healthy".

Yelling at stupid people, however, helps me forget about my depression.

[–]bluereverend 1 point2 points ago

Hey, I know, why don't you fly? Who cares that you don't possess the necessary equipment, but if you want it bad enough, it'll happen.

Pretty much the same argument.

[–]HennaC 1 point2 points ago

like drawing; if you work at it and really try, it is possible

from personal experience, i know that it is possible

[–]merkmerk73 1 point2 points ago

Depression is just like panic attacks - they are incomprehensible to anyone who hasn't experienced it.

Some people think they are depressed when they are just really sad - but true depression (and I only experienced it for a few weeks) is a whole different world - absolutely nothing brings you any joy or happiness and you don't want to do anything but just lay in bed and die.

The comic can be easily interpreted as panic disorder - "god you're fine we are just sitting here in a movie theater - relax"

Of course I would have said the same thing before I experienced it. I just couldn't fathom what it was like to be standing in a long line at a grocery store and suddenly have a full fight or flight response kick in for no good reason.

[–]e4excellence 1 point2 points ago

It's like this with attention deficits as well.

"What do you mean you haven't gotten that work done? What were you doing?!"

"Well, I started it, couldn't think of a particular word, so I went to dictionary.com, and then I saw the word of the day, and I HAD to read about it. Then I thought of a funny article I read where they actually used this strange, new word, so I set out to find the article. Then..."

"Why don't you just focus harder? Just put your nose to grinding wheel and get it done. What the hell man?"

"You see, it isn't just that simple. I wish I could, but..."

"Yes it is that simple, I do it all the time!"

"But we are different people...!"

"How does that matter? Everyone else does it!"

FUCK THESE PEOPLE. IT'S NOT THAT EASY.

[–]Dolewhip 1 point2 points ago

Unpopular opinion of the day: Depression seems to be a middle class White person problem.

[–]sebs8 1 point2 points ago

Any time someone tells me to get over my depression or anxiety I ask "Do you have any friends or family members who have cancer? When they say yes I reply, "Tell them to get over it."

[–]nice-awkward-gone 3 points4 points ago

Totally agree with you. Wish I could tell people just to go suck on a railroad spike or to cure their being a bitch disease. I think someone who is simply stressed and thinks that anxiety is comprable to depression as a disease is almost worse

[–]brucethebatwayne 13 points14 points ago

Anxiety and depression often come hand in hand. I know this from personal experience.

[–]HappyTreeSpirit 0 points1 point ago

agreed, it can be a very debilitating combo too

[–]max13007[S] 12 points13 points ago

I get less angry than that... I just feel kind of lost and hopeless. It makes me feel like an asshole, cause I know that I've said stupid shit like that to people in the past. Either way... Owls are hard to draw.

[–]heroinhero 0 points1 point ago

The point of getting out of depression is that you have to try. Even if it is something as hard as drawing an owl from scratch, the wrong attitude is to give up at the start.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with trying and failing.

[–]owlesque5 0 points1 point ago

Owls are totally hard to draw. I have a notebook full of owl drawings, and only a couple of them are any good. Also, I've had depression for something like 13 years now, so that works in a metaphorical sense too.

In a strange twist of fate, one of the things that alleviates the emotional fuckery for a bit has been...volunteer work with owls.

Depression is awful. I hope you can find something to help it go away. :(

[–]HappyTreeSpirit 1 point2 points ago

i have depression (i used to be worse off but it's getting better as time goes on) and now that you mention it working with owls would a very awesome thing for me to do. I'll definitely have to look into that, in the mean time at least I have two very fat cats to keep me company. Animals can make your outlook on life so much better most of the time :D

[–]OftenSarcastic 5 points6 points ago

Anxiety, like depression, has a bunch of disorders attached to it that people can't just easily shake off.

[–]CornchipFingers 2 points3 points ago

It took somebody to tell me that I was actually ill and I needed to see somebody.

[–]HappyTreeSpirit 0 points1 point ago

i think that is what happened to me too. Unfortunately we do not talk anymore (she ended up going kind of crazy) but I cannot deny that she helped me find the motivation to seek help in our final moments of being friends. Some time down the road if I ever run into her again I should say thanks

[–]schroefoe 1 point2 points ago

The thing is, when you get outside the cycle, even for a day, you know it's going to get better. Depression is such a black hole that you can't see outside it. My cousin and I both have depression (mine was at its worst in grad school, so we believe it was a mix of high anxiety and mild depression, but his is very severe depression all the time) and we would talk each other through it. When I was in my up phase, it would get infuriating to take the circles he was talking in, but I knew that feeling so damn well. I learned to say "just keep going" when I wanted to say "it'll be okay! just get over this current slump and it'll be brighter!" I swear depression is like someone wiring my brain to think that the self-destruct button is not a last-resort feature, but really a "now's as good a time as any" button.

[–]superdillin 1 point2 points ago

anxiety is a real chronic condition, just like depression. Don't ridicule people for misunderstanding your struggle while undermining theirs. I have anxiety and depression, and to be honest, for me anxiety is way worse to go through. It's all relative.

[–]witchyboi 3 points4 points ago

I tend toward depression. Working out regularly and taking a lot of Vitamin D helps!

[–]max13007[S] 1 point2 points ago

Working out does help in general, not enough sun up here though =[

[–]williambilliam 3 points4 points ago

TAKE vitamin D if there isn't enough sun, man. They sell it in a bottle, just like other vitamins. Do a quick google search for "vitamin D tablets." looks like they're $15 or less.

[–]superdillin 3 points4 points ago

Whoever downvoted you is an ass. Vitamin D and exercise are legitimate medical advice given to people with depression, usually in conjunction with ant-depressants and/or talk therapy.

[–]witchyboi 1 point2 points ago

Thanks!

[–]wizzebef 2 points3 points ago

I just love when people say that. Note the insane amount of sarcasm in the previous statement.

I've taken medicine since I was 15 (so it's been about 8 years) for depression but I still have problems with it sometimes. I love when people tell you just to be happy. My favorite line came from my brother. He said "what do you have to be sad about?" He thinks that it's not really a medical thing. That I'm just choosing to feel this way. Ugh...hate it when people don't understand and then think they can tell you what to do and it will work...

[–]madsell 3 points4 points ago

it's not even that they think it's a choice. they think something sad happened and you're just dwelling on it and not "man-ing up" or whatever. like we can help it in the first place.

[–]Reddit4Play 2 points3 points ago

To be fair, like PTSD, depression is sometimes triggered by traumatic events. So there's correlation there, just the causation only works one way and only some of the time.

[–]wasniahC 0 points1 point ago

I think his point was more about the "just dwelling on it and not "man-ing up"" :P

[–]Reddit4Play 1 point2 points ago*

As was mine. I shall reiterate differently:

Depression, the medical condition defined by the symptom of prolonged feelings of arbitrary sadness, can be triggered by things that would normally make you sad. Except "getting over" the thing that made you sad won't actually fix the medical depression that results, you'll still feel bad whether that particular thing is affecting you any longer or not. So it's possible that at least some people might be confusing the correlation of "something sad happened, it made you sad" with "you are still sad, ergo that thing must still be making you sad". The first part is true - sometimes something that causes sadness (or other anxiety) occurs that triggers medical depression. The second part is wrong, though, since people with depression will "get over" the thing that was bothering them, but then their sadness will remain arbitrarily.

So in some cases, something sad may have happened, but in reality the majority of people with depression triggered by such a traumatic event will "man up" and "get over it", then they will continue to be depressed for no reason, which might lead to some confusion as the people familiar with the traumatic event will continue to tie it to the feelings of sadness that the depressed person is still experiencing, which for a person without depression would be normal, but for a person with depression is (generally) incorrect.

[–]FuckinEh 2 points3 points ago

Very true.

[–]boong1986 1 point2 points ago

Draw AND owl? At the same time?

[–]fattywinnarz 0 points1 point ago

This sums up my life pretty well right now. Thanks.

[–]skytro 0 points1 point ago

Near perfect analogy for this situation I think

[–]whitmell 0 points1 point ago

Great analogy.

[–]charliefantastic 0 points1 point ago

As Winston Churchill called it, "the black dog".

Would not wish it on my worst enemy.

[–]Perignis 0 points1 point ago

This hit me hard, I've been struggling....and when I was a child I'd constantly have nightmares of a black dog...

Maybe not related but wow

[–]Mikeydoes 0 points1 point ago

"Make a change"

[–]ClawedMonet21 0 points1 point ago

Yep, that sums it up. After suffering with depression and anxiety for years, I was finally diagnosed with Hashimoto's disease. Still trying to balance my thyroid hormones, but the depression and anxiety are almost gone. I used to say my brain was trying to kill me, but it was in fact, my immune system trying to kill my thyroid. Get checked! Get your TSH checked too! My t4 was never bad, only my TSH. I think we don't realize how many behavior problems can be traced back to actually being sick, rather than just depressed!

[–]Zemiakovy 0 points1 point ago

Anyone have a mirror? The image died.

[–]thefleet 0 points1 point ago

THAT IS SO TRUE.

[–]Willem20 0 points1 point ago

I was looking for a re-upload. What do I get? Fucking 10hrs of text

[–]uhohdynamo 0 points1 point ago

I struggled with depression for several years, and sometimes still see it. The weirdest part, though, was this: rock bottom. I'd get to this familiar low, that it was in some way pleasant. I think it was because I had anxiety problems too, I'd basically worried myself to a breaking point. My head would get exhausted, and just de-fog, not thinking anything, really. It always happened after weeks or so of mental torment and high anxiety. It's like I'd finally accepted my fate, and instead of fighting to put on a happy face, I let it run through me (God, I feel like I sound ridiculous). It was nice. I still felt depressed, but there was a kind of emptiness that made my head really clear, for the first time since beginning this 'cycle,' I guess, of depression. I liked hitting that part. Because I knew from there, my head would stay clear, without several stressful thoughts hitting it at once, constantly, like usual, it's like I'd built a barrier to keep me ok... Anyone else ever feel this?

[–]HighbrowIdiot 0 points1 point ago

How to draw and owl.

[–]gpgag 0 points1 point ago

I had to withdraw from school this semester because my depression got out of hand and I couldn't motivate myself. It all started when i got rejected by a girl I had become really close to, and I just couldn't get it out of my head. What really sucks is I texted her asking to talk one on one since I had distanced myself, and just tell her what was going on before I left. I think she assumed I wanted to try to ask her out again, and told me this has been going on for too long and that she was really annoyed. She said it was completely done with and there was nothing to talk about.

[–]FergusonDarling 0 points1 point ago

Wow, there's a lot of you guys out there with depression. I had some pretty bad symptoms for 2 years in college. I'm terrified that it will come back again someday.

It's been said quite a few times already, but it is damn near impossible for people who haven't experienced depression to understand what shear hopelessness actually feels like. I do, and so do a lot of others right here.

I honestly don't know what truly helped me out of my episode, but I hope you all can find it. For what it's worth, you all are worth more than you know...

[–]colleen017 0 points1 point ago

Yes, and don't forget the "Y U NO UNDERSTAND?" rage you start having to contain after the 45th time someone has said this to you. And then eventually the glazed over state of acceptance you come to because apparently people aren't going to stop saying it (over and over and over) where you just nod and make noncommittal sounds at the appropriate times meanwhile thinking about something else entirely.

[–]smellypants 0 points1 point ago

I'm sorry you are going through something that your friends & family can't understand. A buddy of mine has been depressed for the past couple of years and I have learned the following:

  • As his friends, there is NOTHING we can do. After doing a 180 from the fun loving guy we once knew to an angry recluse, we've come to realize that the last thing he wants is to be 'helped.'
  • The way he feels is not due to any single thing, like a girl or an argument with someone..but due to a chemical imbalance.

While I know you don't necessarily wan't help..I can't help but compare depressed people with someone who is selfish. I know what you are going through to be painful, but do you or someone going through depression realize how it affects those around you? While we have been nothing but understanding, our friend has been nothing but an absolute DICK to us.

[–]nobaraotome 0 points1 point ago

I sincerely doubt that your friend would put you through all this knowingly. I've made some awful mistakes in my life because I was going through a rough time and had very little energy to support other people, or think about how selfish I was being. Since then I've realized what an idiot I was at that time, and I've apologized to the person I hurt (thankfully, he accepted my apology) but it's never, ever about trying to hurt someone else; with depression, you end up feeling so mired in the muck of your own life that you don't realize you're hurting the people around you. I'm sorry you're frustrated and I hope that your friend gets better for his own sake as well as that of the people around him. It's really hard not to take it personally when it's your friend doing those sorts of things to you, but I'm fairly certain that he isn't just singling you and your mutual friends out to be a dick to.

[–]Jake_Archer 0 points1 point ago

My favorite is: "cheer up"

[–]JewFro297 0 points1 point ago

Sigh, I wish I could draw an owl...

[–]SaxyTimeReloaded 0 points1 point ago

I have severe social and generalized anxiety. Know what I do when I am feeling the monster taking over? I take a minute to myself and remember that I'm stronger than that. I'm stronger to be overwhelmed by the idea of meeting people. People like me. Why wouldn't they like me? Don't be a loser and shake that dudes hand! Say hi to that girl. Why? Because she's fuckin' smiling at you that's why. Do SOMETHING!

And that's how I deal with my condition.

[–]depression_owl_march 0 points1 point ago

I just want to say one thing to everyone that thinks suicide is a selfish act.

While a lot of people think someone who commits suicide was selfish, and indeed it hurts the living just as much as the deceased, most of the time a suicidal person does not commit suicide because "they can't go on." Our human will to live is actually pretty strong.

Most of the time suicidal people believe, truly believe, that not only is their life miserable but that they are also making everyone elses life miserable. "Here everyone is having a good time and I am the depressed person that brings everyone down. Here I am sulking while kids starve in Africa. If I can't make myslef feel better than I must be no good or even broken."

Most of them really do think that the world will be better off without them, that they have no worth. I deal with this all the time with my depression, because let's face it, not enough people, especially young people, tell each other how much they mean to each other.

At the end of the day, if you are feeling depressed, and the books and movies and TV shows and friends that are busy or just as bored don't alleviate the pain, remember that it is all in your head, which makes it the most formidable enemy you will ever meet, but an enemy you have more control over than you think, and an ememy that you can defeat.

If all else fails, get drunk, get naked, and masturbate. That's usually good for at least an hour.

EDIT: Great essay by DAvid Foster Wallace I just remembered. http://harpers.org/media/pdf/dfw/HarpersMagazine-1998-01-0059425.pdf

[–]melechkibitzer 0 points1 point ago

What was the image it says its gone

[–]PASTAAA 0 points1 point ago

Link is broken?

[–]johnny_appletits 0 points1 point ago

I'm amazed with the number of people who are completely ignorant about depression. It's as simple as a chemical imbalance. If it's situational depression then you can slowly draw the owl. Otherwise you either daze yourself with happy pills or just try to get used to seeing the world with a bit less color than everyone else sees it. But on the bright side, I read somewhere that a lot of depression is "short-term". I've been moderately/severely depressed for about 8 years, so I don't know how short the term can be, but I'm gonna wait it out. Good luck with your owl, bro.

[–]Maiotome 0 points1 point ago

I remember reading about how many psychologists confuse depression with stress and give people wrong prescriptions. Depression is when you find yourself in a mundane routine that you don't think will change for example, a bad marriage or a boring job. Stress is when you feeling over emotional and over exerted from a bad situation, like when you have a huge assignment to write.

[–]MajorMol 0 points1 point ago

What ever you do, don't take Paxil/ Paroxetine that shit fucks you up.

[–]deefrances 0 points1 point ago

i think you should carry this around.

[–]Cutts77 0 points1 point ago

You wanna know why there's such a stigma over depression? Because alot of fucking idiots fake it to get attention. That's why I always help people who are depressed, but at the same time keep in my mind that they might be a faker cunt (In which case I tell them to go fuck themselves).

[–]hoodoochild 0 points1 point ago

A few years back I went through a particularly bad bout of the heavy D. I dropped 30 pounds and couldnt eat or sleep and spent my days pacing and smoking cigarettes. I didnt wash...couldnt carry on a conversation...mornings began with the cracking of beer. Didnt even know what was real sometimes Was pretty awful and honestly I think I could have died. Got help...meds...am great and fine now.

My husband has a friend who tells me I should stop taking meds because its "all in my head." That he was getting discouraged too at one point and he made the decision to be positive and his life has been nothing but up since. He doesnt believe in depression. It's a cop out.

[–]ShakeyBobWillis 0 points1 point ago

This image no longer exists. Can't tell if the image is gone or if that's actually the image you wanted. Works either way.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

thats a great analogy

[–]KittyL0ver 0 points1 point ago

Telling a person with depression that "it's all in your head" and to "get over it" is like telling a person with diabetes "it's all in your pancreas, get over it". Unless there's some kind of medical intervention, the disease will just get worse. With this being said, SSRIs and cognitive behavior therapy combined show the best results for patients suffering from depression.

[–]thisishow 0 points1 point ago

as someone who struggled with depression and attempted multiple times, i can say i feel for you.

I can only speak for what worked for me, but it wasn't until I reconnected with a few friends and began being more socially active that my depression began to go away. It took a LONG fucking time, my friends knew that i had attempted and made an effort to keep bringing me out and involve me in things. multiple times they wouldn't take "no" for an answer when i didnt want to go out.

met quite a few new people, and quite a few of these never knew and may never know about my depression. i'll always have scars but i guess theyr'e not as noticeable as i think they are. which is a pretty good analogy for what i learned by hanging out and meeting new friends who also ask me to hang out; you never know what anyone else is thinking so don't assume it's about you.

now if you're suffering from a more existential depression, then you just need to find a reason for you to live - which is a lot harder than it sounds. This planet is fucked up, full of assholes, we'll probably blow ourselves up, but god dammit life is awesome. Even when it doesn't seem to be. I work in a hospital and i see a lot of overdoses that looked very similar to mine, i see people confined to a bed for the last few months or even years of their life that they live out in excruciating pain. Look outside, look at everything out there. it's up to you to experience it. Life is as good as you make it.

[–]18_5cm 0 points1 point ago

why should i pull my self together if can spent the day with suppressing the feelings and thoughts that my life is worthless, duhh!!

[–]bethyparker 0 points1 point ago

downer.

[–]flyonawall 0 points1 point ago

Perfect!

[–]intel23 0 points1 point ago

I feel the same way man.do not fret

[–]oozerfip 0 points1 point ago

This is what people tell me about my germaphobia.

"Just stop washing your hands."

[–]dwellers_gonna_dwell 0 points1 point ago

I lolled so hard I almost forgot how depressed I was to begin with.

I'll call that a win. I love you Reddit, and all your infinite wisdom.