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top 200 commentsshow all 235

[–]NitroHawk209 299 points300 points ago

Ron Swanson on bowling:

Straight down the middle. No hook, no spin, no fuss. Anything more and this becomes figure skating.

[–]Crim91 58 points59 points ago

Then he got his ass whooped by the granny technique.

[–]bcbudtoker69 111 points112 points ago

no he didnt. you never saw him. he was never there. and we shall never speak of this again.

[–]andbruno 27 points28 points ago

He also didn't bowl a 300 using that same technique.

[–]paetactics 31 points32 points ago

Kim Jong-Il did. On his first game.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 29 points30 points ago

Using a ping pong ball.

[–]YourDildzAreHere -2 points-1 points ago

[–]gleefulmidget 9 points10 points ago

I.. what?

[–]Crashmo 0 points1 point ago

I keep running into you tonight and I want to put an end to this early. STOP IT! NO! BAD YOURDILDZAREHERE! BAD!

[–]paetactics 0 points1 point ago

FMJ credits rolled and Paint it Black started and went surprisingly well with that video

[–]Dis_Illusion 3 points4 points ago

One of my favorite ways to kill time is to pair muted "weird" dance videos and a totally unrelated soundtrack. My usual choice is Out With the Old. Here's an example.

[–]whatkimjongilwoulddo 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, but he got a 301 on his second game.

[–]venividiikarma 1 point2 points ago

on a bike

[–]fauxnom 60 points61 points ago

My absolute favorite part of the entire series is when he pulls the tooth out and everyone freaks out and Tom passes out on the floor.

[–]OmnipotentBagel 26 points27 points ago*

That bit was so well executed. Ron's alpha male persona is always walking the fence of believability and that scene probably would have taken it too far if it weren't for the talking head immediately after. Refusing to go to the dentist for tooth pain is a bit ridiculous, but keeping the tooth and using it to freak out your coworkers and show them how much pain you can handle stays solidly on the side of awesome.

[–]fauxnom 1 point2 points ago

You hit the nail on the head!

[–]Thrillho- 21 points22 points ago

[–]deathxbyxsnusnu 2 points3 points ago

For me, it's what he says after.

[–]lalit008 2 points3 points ago

I love his little laugh at the end. It's like a little kid after he knows he did something bad.

[–]healthshield 0 points1 point ago

when i was about 12 i just finished watching that simpson`s were lisa pulls her tooth out and pops in coke. i decided to try it. long story short i pretty much pulled it out it just took me about a week or two. P.S its not worth it

[–]atcaskstrength 106 points107 points ago

“You had me at meat tornado.”

[–]fauxnom 48 points49 points ago

"Son you have introduced me to a whole new way to intake meat."

[–]chrisbannex 8 points9 points ago

"What's a non-gay way to ask him to go camping with me?"

[–]passwordISsameasname 23 points24 points ago

"you are a good idea machine "

[–]passwordISsameasname 1 point2 points ago

By the way my 2 year old daughter loves Andy and believes my co-worker is actually him. She runs around screaming Andy until we put it on.

MY FAMILY IS THE SHIT!

[–]amandaeatspandas 87 points88 points ago

Ron Swanson is my spirit animal.

[–]farceur318 46 points47 points ago

You and Ron Swanson have that in common.

[–]TyrionLannister2012 1 point2 points ago

I feel like this deserves so many more up votes.

[–]fauxnom 1 point2 points ago*

I laughed aloud at amandaeatspandas and then lost it and made that really loud weird laugh you get self-conscious about afterward after reading yours.

edit: derped a word

[–]sqazm 83 points84 points ago

"Ron, looks like you're Pawnee's Woman of the Year."

"...Well it's about time."

[–]fauxnom 3 points4 points ago*

I used this at the doctors office today...long story short someone joked, "You might be going through menopause." I mustered my sincerest Ron Swanson look and repeated the line.

edit: I'm a dude.

[–]John_Barleycorn 167 points168 points ago

He really is one of the most interesting and unique characters on TV in a long time. There's no one else like him on television, but plenty of regular guys in the real world identify with him.

[–][deleted] 188 points189 points ago

I love how he dresses like Tiger Woods the day after he gets laid.

[–]warmesTghosT 96 points97 points ago

He reminds me a bit of Jack Donaghy without the unbridled ambition.

I'd love to see the two of them meet.

[–]quivering_manflesh 88 points89 points ago

[–]passwordISsameasname 28 points29 points ago

I would pay a shit ton of money to see that.

[–]TriplePlay2425 3 points4 points ago

Does anyone know what episode Ron's quote in this image is from? I totally don't remember that line and I didn't find much when I Googled it.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]TriplePlay2425 0 points1 point ago

I'll look into it. Thanks.

[–]quivering_manflesh 0 points1 point ago

I don't believe either quotation from Jack or Ron are from the television show, sadly.

[–]TriplePlay2425 1 point2 points ago

I wouldn't be surprised, I feel like I would have remembered Ron's line, but I do not.

[–]Cwagmire 2 points3 points ago

It is a quote (or darn close to one) from the Woman of the Year episode.

[–]jesterkid01 0 points1 point ago

currently watching dwight fight himself. love when the world comes together like that.

[–]omaar 4 points5 points ago

Oh, god. Probably my two favorite characters right now.

[–]TheBigYello1isTheSun 7 points8 points ago

Anytime I watch him crack up and spit out his drink at the mere thought of Canada, I laugh uncontrollably. He is also one of the coolest characters ever made for TV.

[–]full_on_robot_chubby 5 points6 points ago

I actually started watching Parks and Rec because many of my friends told me I was almost exactly like one of the characters. I'm good with my hands, I like wood and metal work, have a strong affinity for meat (I was actually a butcher for some time), am almost never interested in other peoples personal business, my birthday is a closely guarded secret, etc etc...

Pretty much every other episode details some new way we are alike, it's getting pretty eerie at this point actually.

[–]mattattaxx 0 points1 point ago

Yet your username is full_on-robot_chubby, which makes me think you might be lying.

[–]full_on_robot_chubby 0 points1 point ago

I said we are alike, not clones. I happen to like Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey.

[–]pillage 8 points9 points ago

He's the live-action Hank Hill.

[–]Lambsauce 15 points16 points ago

Hank would never admit to having... relations, never mind advertising it the day after.

[–]funnypants 11 points12 points ago

no. Hank Hill is much more awkward than Ron. Hank is married. Hank has a narrow urethra. Ron Isn't/Doesn't.

[–]YOUR-UNCLE 1 point2 points ago

I'm not really a Parks and Rec fan, but I watch it all the time only for Ron Swanson.

[–]deathxbyxsnusnu 3 points4 points ago

I have heard this before, how some people don't get the humor or think it lacks a certain dynamic. I personally think Ron's character is one of the most well-written on television in a long time. In my opinion he's kind of like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys: originally intended to be a minor character but wasn't ever meant to be so prominent. Then bam. Actor blew the producers and writers away. And I am eternally grateful.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

"water bongs so smooth you don't realize how high your gettin, until it's too late."

[–]rchase 1 point2 points ago

Funniest scene ever.

/sings "You forgot to get some food, now it's late. You want a tasty snack, but it's late!"

[–]rchase 0 points1 point ago

I agree with your point.

It is notable, however, that Trailer Park Boys was actually developed from a short Clattenburg wrote and directed a couple years earlier that was entirely about Bubbles: The Cart Boy. It's interesting to see how the characters of Julian and Ricky are so different in the earlier work.

[–]the_walrus_was_ringo 0 points1 point ago

I believe this is a common phenomenon, referred to as a breakout character. Like the Fonz, Kenneth from 30 Rock, or Barney Stinson.

[–]paps1788 0 points1 point ago

I did not realize Urkel wasn't supposed to be the main character. Crazy.

[–]distantland 1 point2 points ago

Parks and Rec has gone a little down hill this season IMHO. Ron Swanson and Andy are the only things that keep me laughing.

[–]yethegodless 0 points1 point ago

Not as good as season 3 overall, but with higher peaks. Still better than season 2 by a landslide and season 2 was a paragon in comedy broadcasting.

[–]distantland 0 points1 point ago

I feel pretty much the same way. This season is getting way to tied up in relationships and the whole campagn thing, it's really killing it for me.

[–]stanfan114 0 points1 point ago

He won't sleep with you. Unless your name is Tammy.

[–]briandiego 6 points7 points ago

Marry*

[–]FarmerTedd 43 points44 points ago

[–]dnalloheoj 3 points4 points ago

Oh god thank you for this. So many great moments compressed into 7 minutes.

[–]mkdz 1 point2 points ago

This is a great video!

[–]allegedactor126 1 point2 points ago

Awesome, thanks buddy

[–]fauxnom 1 point2 points ago*

F*#%, we've overloaded the servers. Have a mirror by any chance ;)?

edit: Is this it by chance?

[–]spuncraz 33 points34 points ago

i just got into this show...ron swanson is already on my list of favorite characters ever.

[–]Phillip_Fry 12 points13 points ago

I'm sorry, what show is this from?

[–]MikeoftheEast 102 points103 points ago

Sharks and Procreation

[–]building_a_moat 38 points39 points ago

Arks and Segregation

[–]notbookies 22 points23 points ago

Barks and Aggravation.

[–]HatesRedditors 20 points21 points ago

Darks and Levitation.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

Larks and Compensation.

[–]wasoe 25 points26 points ago

Starks and Decapitation.

[–]Smeg710 13 points14 points ago

Quarks and Radiation

[–]fauxnom 7 points8 points ago

Narks and Mastication

[–]kn33ch41_ 1 point2 points ago

This one actually has undertones. I like it.

[–]oxygeninhaler 1 point2 points ago

I see what you did there.

[–]AryaDee 3 points4 points ago

Marks and Assassination

[–]MisterLich 1 point2 points ago

Sparks and Incineration

[–]m_c_m_l_xxx_i_v -1 points0 points ago

Murders and executions?

[–]Mister-Manager 39 points40 points ago

Parks and Recreation.

[–]Phillip_Fry 6 points7 points ago

Thank you!

[–]caughtoffside 3 points4 points ago

From Arks and Creationism. Ron Swanson plays Noah.

[–]runs-with-scissors 7 points8 points ago

Did anyone mention Parks and Recreation yet?

[–]underweird 2 points3 points ago

Farts & Procreation. Google it.

[–]sunspot112 5 points6 points ago

Parks and Recreation

[–]Pyrrish 4 points5 points ago

Its from the show Parks and Recreation on NBC.

[–]blu3ninja 5 points6 points ago

disco ball

[–]spuncraz 1 point2 points ago

[–]huankev 1 point2 points ago

Parks and Recreation

[–]clouchey 0 points1 point ago

Parks and Recreation

[–]21007 -1 points0 points ago

Parks and Recreation

[–]tora22 2 points3 points ago

I want to know where the hell he get his hair from.

[–]spuncraz 1 point2 points ago

dat mustache.

[–]Krohnos 18 points19 points ago

[–]PooDogShizzyShits 2 points3 points ago

You have no idea how much joy that brings me!

[–]AdamVen 16 points17 points ago

If I could eat a steak dinner with any character from TV, Ron Swanson would be at the top of the list

[–]21007 27 points28 points ago

you mean watch him eat his steak and your steak?

[–]Keabo 9 points10 points ago

Take him out for Turf & Turf.

[–]Perryn 7 points8 points ago

Are you prepared to risk his look of disappointment?

[–]roterghost 9 points10 points ago

"Son, you call that eating a steak? You're not even intimidating the waiter."

[–]fauxnom 3 points4 points ago

"Son, you call that eating a steak? You don't even have a whiskey."

[–]DeathHamsterDude 123 points124 points ago

You may have thought you heard me say I wanted a lot of bacon and eggs, but what I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.

[–]yangx 40 points41 points ago*

ಠ_ಠ Gets progressively less funny since it has been repeated over and over again.

edit: Just like that Community joke, if anyone mentions britta "shes the at&t of-" NO YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH

[–]directhex 26 points27 points ago

I used to be an adventurer like you...

[–]Glass-of-Water 28 points29 points ago

but then I never asked for this.

[–]HitTheGymAndLawyerUp 6 points7 points ago

So bravely go where no man has gone before.

[–]Pyrrish 2 points3 points ago

So brave.....

[–]mdubs777 2 points3 points ago

friend zone level...

[–]building_a_moat 0 points1 point ago

mind>blown

[–]Duramax159 6 points7 points ago

Welcome to reddit!

[–]tothesource 2 points3 points ago

Wait, wait, I worry that you just said this about a Ron Swanson quote.

[–]yangx 9 points10 points ago

Hilarious first 5 times I saw it , but god damn, not the 50th time though.

[–]DrFreyyer 0 points1 point ago

This is easily my favorite Swanson quote.

[–]DontBeGentlePlease 18 points19 points ago

For some reason this reminds me of the grief Michael Phelps received from those bong pictures. Smoking weed is the attitude of an American champion because he is an American champion.

[–]BlazeOrangeDeer 4 points5 points ago

And "but Michael Phelps smokes pot..." "You can take a bong hit when you win 8 gold medals for your country, son." Not that I think the requirements should be that strict lol

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

but you'd have to admit ripping a bong in your living room with 8 olympic gold medals around your chest would be the perfect "fuck you, dad" moment

[–]ENKC 1 point2 points ago

If one had won 8 Olympic gold medals, it would raise the question of why they still felt the need for a "fuck you, dad" moment.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

don't tell me why I need that moment... fuck you, dad

[–]ThePewber 5 points6 points ago

Nick Offerman (Ron Swanson) is coming to my school for our spring carnival. Perfect gift for my graduation ^

[–]lolgazmatronz 2 points3 points ago

What school? I will be on the next bus/train/plane.

[–]aracthedragon 4 points5 points ago

I LITCHERALLY think Ron Swanson is the greatest man who has ever lived.

:D

[–]joeybaby106 7 points8 points ago

reminds me of my Mexican friend

Yes I can make Mexican food - I'm Mexican so anything I make is Mexican food!

[–]Lambsauce 8 points9 points ago

R to the O to the N and then I say, Swanson got swagger the size of Big Ben clock

[–]HeterosAreGay 4 points5 points ago

I like the fact that he has realistic desktop computer clutter. I see he uses Internet Explorer, though.

[–]screwbackstroke 2 points3 points ago

I do see a firefox icon though.

[–]HeterosAreGay 0 points1 point ago

I couldn't make it out but I also had that suspicion. Also some adobe products.

[–]Nesman64 1 point2 points ago

He's probably forced to by some 1997 internal web app.

[–]jutct 0 points1 point ago

He's cool enough that he can get away with it.

[–]HeterosAreGay 0 points1 point ago

Exactly.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

I still laugh at the massive Czech hedgehog in his office.

[–]Got_Engineers 2 points3 points ago

What episode was this from?

[–]faggotoni 4 points5 points ago

Woman of the Year

[–]nThatsYUAlwaysUpvote 2 points3 points ago

Look at that notification, I wonder which torrent finished downloading on his work computer. Probably an instructional video on making a canoe.

[–]Lukerules 0 points1 point ago

Doubt it. Check out his website:

http://offermanwoodshop.com/

[–]Lars_7 1 point2 points ago

Does he plan on having any tanks strolling through his office anytime soon?

[–]RachelAlexa 1 point2 points ago

Who doesn't want to be Ron Swanson? If that mustache doesnt yell prestige I don't know which ones do.

[–]Jim_Gaffigans_bacon 1 point2 points ago

for some of us, Ron Swanson is the Godfather.... of bacon... and eggs

[–]haiku_robot 6 points7 points ago

for some of us, Ron 
Swanson is the Godfather.... 
of bacon... and eggs

[–]Jim_Gaffigans_bacon 0 points1 point ago

I <3 U, hr

[–]magmay 1 point2 points ago

this is essentially what I say when people tell me I'm not being lady-like. If I'm a lady, and I'm doing something, it's lady-like. QED bitches

[–]vertigo42 1 point2 points ago

We will welcome you over at /r/libertarian.

We await you your Swansonness.

[–]Oilersfan99 1 point2 points ago

Ron's hilarious but Tom is my favourite character off of Parks a Rec.

[–]gonenova 1 point2 points ago

Anyone who does not want to be Ron Swanson is wrong.

[–]d4rkl04f 2 points3 points ago

"I'm Ron F*cking Swanson."

[–]left814 1 point2 points ago

You had me at Ron Swanson.

[–]KindredBear 1 point2 points ago

i want to fuck ron swanson

[–]Crim91 12 points13 points ago

As a straight man, I agree.

[–]PooDogShizzyShits 5 points6 points ago

As a man who likes men (i don't like the word gay), I agree!

[–]Pyrrish 6 points7 points ago

As a wild bear, I agree.

[–]let_them_burn 0 points1 point ago

does anyone remember which episode this was from?

[–]Clownfish111 3 points4 points ago

[–]let_them_burn 0 points1 point ago

thank you sir

[–]Dude_Manguy 0 points1 point ago

Get in line son.

[–]vetch222 0 points1 point ago

Does he get the bitches? He gets the bitches.

[–]IHeartJolene 0 points1 point ago

Ron Swanson post? Upvotes for everyone!!! I just want to be friends with Nick Offerman.

[–]drummer1059 0 points1 point ago

Those umbrella bounces are horrible, can't this wonderful show afford some real lights?

[–]eliaspowers 0 points1 point ago

This is what I think every time someone accuses me of not acting like a "man" or an "adult."

[–]caughtoffside 0 points1 point ago

"Which of these objects most represents women for this portrait? A pot? Or this deputy director Barbie? Isn't it adorable? She's got a little briefcase, her cell phone."

[–]brianpepinski 0 points1 point ago

Ron Swanson, a swan song

[–]Naphthos 0 points1 point ago

I just recently noticed how other shows emulate The Office --same shaky-cam style and all. It's nice. It sure beats the diorama-POV of traditional sitcoms.

[–]underweird 0 points1 point ago

Possibly my favorite episode of any TV show. I love an A plot that centers around feminism and the platonic relationship between the female & male leads.

[–]Kabakov 0 points1 point ago

I also want a tank trap in my office.. sorry, need a tank trap!

[–]I-WOULD-TAP-THAT 0 points1 point ago

I would tap that

[–]camelhorse 0 points1 point ago

This scene always cracked me up, so I went back and watched it again.

It seriously looks like Nick Offerman is on the verge of losing it the entire time.

[–]JustaerinTerminator 0 points1 point ago

This was always my defense against "Act your age." I am my age, any way I act is acting my age.

[–]frenzaled 0 points1 point ago

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

[–]druse 0 points1 point ago

I want to be Nick Offerman

[–]Kailoth 0 points1 point ago

I just noticed. That's a claymore on his desk.

[–]eddiespaghetti 0 points1 point ago

oh so you watch the same show as everyone else on Reddit and you like the same character, you're a real original faggot aren't you?

[–]HoldFastSailorJerry 0 points1 point ago

What a man.

[–]Dunkelz 0 points1 point ago

I fell in love with Ron Swanson when I first spotted the tank trap/barrier in his office. It's like he knows my weaknesses.

[–]petedacook 0 points1 point ago

I just saw this episode. I Netflixed the discs beginning with the pilot about 3 weeks ago and I just saw this episode.

Swanson is a cool mother fucker!

[–]SamsquamtchHunter 4 points5 points ago

Why get the discs when they are available for instant???

[–]ehcche 4 points5 points ago

Some people have Netflix but don't have instant streaming. These people are silly.

[–]SamsquamtchHunter 1 point2 points ago

Yes, I was pissed when they split them, but then I thought, well what else am I gonna do.

[–]deathxbyxsnusnu 0 points1 point ago

Upvote for what I hope is a Trailer Park Boys tag.

[–]SamsquamtchHunter 0 points1 point ago

Also available on instant :)

[–]deathxbyxsnusnu 0 points1 point ago

I started watching that show yearrrrrs ago (had a Canadian friend) and found out the -day- it came on instant. I've introduced 10+ people to that amazingness.

[–]SamsquamtchHunter 0 points1 point ago

I was avoiding it like crazy for a while, watched the first 1 with a friend, the next two with my brother, but after that it really picked up and I got into it and ended up with my username now... So I always preface my recommendations with the "power through the first couple" suggestion

[–]deathxbyxsnusnu 0 points1 point ago

Sound advice. My boyfriend (new to me and the show 5 months ago) when watching the first three episodes had a lot of '...what?' moments and blank stares. I told him reassuringly to give it a chance. Is hooked now. I've watched the entire series/movies about five times.

[–]petedacook 0 points1 point ago

My PC is too far away from my TV to stream to TV and I enjoy sitting on the couch with my ole lady watching these on TV.

Besides, I would not need Netflix if I could stream from my TV.

[–]SamsquamtchHunter 2 points3 points ago

every game console can stream netflix to tvs...

[–]tolerantlychaotic 1 point2 points ago

Plus many DVD players

[–]petedacook 0 points1 point ago

My playstation 2 can stream netflix?

[–]SamsquamtchHunter 0 points1 point ago

Playstations 2 don't exist anymore, they evolved... If there were still ps2s laying around that would disprove evolution. Checkmate Atheists

[–]petedacook 0 points1 point ago

LOL

I'm just not a gamer anymore. I lost interest after turning 40 and having 3 kids.

[–]poktanju 0 points1 point ago

That's an interesting way to describe him -- his first wife was a volunteer at the hospital where he was born and helped deliver him.

[–]the-great-catsby 0 points1 point ago

Is she using a medium format camera? It looks sexy.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

right?

[–]MRMAGOOONTHE5 0 points1 point ago

Ron Swanson is a credit to Indiana. Makes me proud to say I live in the same state as a fictional character as majestic as him.

[–]KatL12 0 points1 point ago

My favorite show ever.

[–]OGMaverick 0 points1 point ago

She said it's not something she "expects" from an award winner, not that it's something an award winner wouldn't say/do.

[–]ardx -1 points0 points ago

Nitpick: that comeback doesn't actually apply, because she did not say "you aren't acting like an award winner." What behavior she expects is irrelevant.