And there she was, the single most beautiful woman I had ever seen. The way she entered the room, her confidence, it was clear she knew the effect she was having on the other guys. A quick glance around the pub confirmed as much. Every man, dumbstruck by her stunning beauty, every woman, seething with envy.

As she approached the bar, the crowds of packed people parted unbelievably in front of her. She stopped at the bar and appeared to steel herself in preparation for the inevitable onrush of advances.

One after another, the men came, and one after another turned away. These were not the average joes either, no, these were the cream of the crop. The best of the best, the hottest, most charming, panty moistening men this pub had to offer were turned away again and again. With little more then a dismissive wave, she was shunning men of all types.

There was no way I could contend with them; what could I possibly offer her that those men couldn't. But it soon became clear, I had one thing that they didn't. A secret weapon I learned years ago. It would either fail miserably, or work miraculously.

I stood up, took a deep breath, and prepared for the worst. Walking over, I was receiving nothing but condescending glances from everyone I passed. It didn't matter anymore, my pride was on the line, but I wasn't going to let them stop me.

I walked up to Her and the pub got quiet. Conversations around us ceased, and I knew everyone's attention was on us. Maybe it was just my focus taking over, or perhaps the fear, but the world started quieting around me. It was going to be either the greatest, or the worst moment of my life.

She half turned in my direction, probably puzzled at how someone like me would even bother. When our eyes met, my mind started spinning, the strength in my legs suddenly disappearing. I used all my strength, all my resolve, to stay standing and at the very least appear confident.

I braced myself against the bar, took a deep breath and said:

"Hi, my name is JoustingTimberflake. Did you know that the word 'koala' actually means 'waterless?' Koalas get the vast majority of their daily water intake from eating eucalyptus leaves."

She appeared to be taken aback, seemingly stunned by my words. It was like time slowed down and the world faded around us. Her eyes furrowed slightly and a smile formed on her lips. She stepped closer to me, only breaking eye contact to glance at my lips. She pressed herself to me and we embraced, kissing each other deeply. We stood there locked in entwined together for what felt like an eternity.

The world started coming back into focus around us. She grasped my hand, and pulled me towards the exit. Rushing through the crowds we finally burst outside. I hailed the nearest taxi, and as we were driving off I could hear the muted cheers from the patrons in the pub.

The rest of the night was a blur. It was the most passionate, ecstasy inducing encounter I've ever had, and it lasted long into the night.