You can only pick one...I know which one I would choose

rakeandscrape · 7 months

I would definatley change my whole right arm into Frasier dvd box set comeplete series, So funny!

Cereal_Grapist · 7 months

See the future, make tons on the stock market/betting/anything that requires prediction, and not make mistakes you otherwise would have. never get caught smoking, never accidentally insult your mother in law, all mistakes gone. And really, who cares if they believe you, it just means that your power can't be directly shared. Is that really so much of a drawback?

Maelfaust · 7 months

I would definitly choose to be able to talk to animals n shit XD i can always work a job and buy weed, but i cant ever work a job and buy superpowers. choose wisley ents. how sweet would a stoned conversation with a squirrel or bird be? huh??

I_DRINK_PERIOD_BLOOD · 7 months

Found a loophole. Id choose the change one body part. Since it doesn't specify any limitations, I'd change my brain into a brain of super intelligence. In other words, totem 4 without the decreased lifespan. Boom.

awulright · 7 months

I WOULD GIVE MYSELF A BIG DICK I DON'T EVEN CARE

captainwelch · 7 months

Paraplegic here. I'd change a body part permanently. I'd make my spinal cord fully functional again.

blazingscience · 7 months

I'm late here, so this will probably get buried, but whenever I see something like this, I imagine it always plays out badly. For instance:

You find everyone so beautiful that the concept of beauty becomes meaningless. Then nothing seems beautiful.
You get super rich, but then love eludes you COMPLETELY. You lose all of your friends, family, and everyone and spend the rest of your life alone.
You spend those extra years weak and barely alive. You are constantly ill, lose your eyesight, etc. When you're 120, you look and feel your age.
It turns out being a super-genius isn't that great. Also, you die early. Not much else to say.
Animals don't carry on conversations well. I'm having a hard time seeing how this is going to go wrong, but I'm sure it does.
Changing a body part really messes you up and throws your body out of proportions. You spend the rest of your life mutated.
You see only horrible events, always try to stop them, but no one believes you. Something like Final Destination.
It's shitty weed. Then you get caught.

WillDaBeast951 · 7 months

Ummm being able to talk to animals.... because then I could smoke with any one of them and ride on the back of a bear in the forest whilst partaking in a joint. Plus you can just grow weed.

RaccoonYetiKiwi · 7 months

Having no sense of smell...I would very much like to improve my senses

GnarlyCarly1123 · 7 months

As long as it comes in a satchel, I'm in.

MrB0mbastic · 7 months

I would choose talking to animals. That way I could talk to my can and we could both get stoned and like I would feed him like all the cat treats on his first buzz, you know? And then like me and him would like go live out in the woods and that would be cool 'cus all the animals would be all like whoa this guy talks animal? And then me and my cat would be forrest celebrities. But then yo, you know I would like teach the animals my language and I would teach the humans theirs, then we would all live on this planet in peace man, smoking weed and talking to animals. Yeah I forgot to mention that I would teach monkeys to ride bares and then I would call the United Nations and tell them that the BEAR CALVARY is on it way and only I can stop them! Legalize it Mr.Chairman, Legalize it, Or the BEAR CALVARY will eat all you'r chickens and bananas! That means no chicken and no smoothies? Fat people and skinny people every where will starve with out their fried chicken from KFC and Smoothies from SmoothieKing! Yeah that is how piece will be achieved through the superior firepower of the BEAR CALVARY!

Chrisyw101 · 7 months

Tell me I can keep the satchel 0.0

pew43 · 7 months

These aren't like cursed objects right? I mean, if I chose a smarter brain will I die immediately because I was only suppose to live to 50 and I'm 25 now? Or, if I I start talking to animals, will they are just going to talk to me all the time and bother me while I'm trying to sleep and all of that? Or, if I get the satchel of weed, is it going to turn out that the DEA is sending them in some entrapment scheme and I get busted for having lbs of marijuana in my house.

bigdicksidekick · 7 months

Honestly I would even go so far as to QUIT smoking if it meant I could talk to animals. Hell I'd do a lot of things to talk to animals. I bet pets and dolphins have a shit ton of awesome stories.

RedditSpaghetti · 7 months

Hypothetical 0) Be an Animorph

1) Talk to animals

2) Increased lifespan

3) Weed a month

4) Change body part

It's just like the Elder Scrolls, I'd never pick a blessing that also has a downside to it. It rather the status quo than "+ this, - that".

Mikhial · 7 months

How do the animals talk? Are they like in Dr. Doolittle or more like this?

majesticpenguins · 7 months

50% longer life=50% more weed

ELTEE212 · 7 months

biggest dick possible /thread

BistroMathematics · 7 months

I'd definitely go with the ability to talk to animals.

interestinghypothes · 7 months

i'll take the red one. One bag a month won't last me

youdontevenner · 7 months

I wouldn't suggest talking to animals

beenj · 7 months

1st choice weed one, 2nd choice animals and senses one. Easily. The only ones without any sort of negative consequence.

sylvainVc · 7 months

dude, you take future sight, see lotteries numbers, win cash and then you can buy all the weed you want. 3 perk in 1

brian_d3p0 · 7 months

9 inch dick

jhuffman9 · 7 months

Super genius for sure. Become millionaire. Get all the weed/babes/fun shit you want. Die around 50. Lived a good life. Die before you become old and raggedy.

JosephStylin · 7 months

Easy, choose super genius. Figure out how to live forever. Infinity/2=Infinity. Enjoy your infinite life.

Sehryn · 7 months

Totally talk to animals... You realize how cool that would be? You could summon birds to shit on people. Just chill and listen to stories from 150 year turtles n shit, talk to dogs/cats that were abused/forgotten and be like... Listen guys, this sucks, but I love you and won't forget you. Fuck that would be so sad..

no_username_needed · 7 months

How would you talk to animals? Would they magically gain the ability to understand human language, and speak back in turn?

Or would you be able to understand and communicate with the animals' methods? Because this has serious implications seeing as how most of our consciousness could be though of in a linguistic sense (i.e., most thoughts can be translated into language). If we could think as the animals do, at will, with our higher intellectual potential, that would be fucking amazing.

Laing_Nugz · 7 months

I just want some weed man.

hellokitty420 · 7 months

depends how much weed is in the satchel. If it's a small amount I'd choose the green one (animals and senses).. but if it's a lot then I'd choose that, cause fuck... free weed.

HaiTharVin · 7 months

Weeds nice, but i can just buy that.. so talking to animals or super genius.

badpr · 7 months

i would make it so i could have wings on my back... hell yeah

Rawso · 7 months

I'd rather talk to animals. I can always buy weed. Toke while talking to my pets. How insane.

SonicsRSC · 7 months

Do you get to keep the satchels?

[deleted] · 7 months

Talking to animals man. You can buy weed.

ThisGuyOnEarth · 7 months

I'd probably take the talking to animals totem, I always wonder what they think.

yeenar · 7 months

I really don't see why anyone would choose anything but the bottom left one, but I guess that's why different people are different.

[deleted] · 7 months

Talk to animals!

hellothere222 · 7 months

I would want to talk to animals...but I'm afraid a lot of them would hate me because we have kinda sorta fucked a lot of them over...

dfd02186 · 7 months

Talk to animals, right?

xarm3289 · 7 months

definately talk to animals. i can just buy from the guy who gets weed every week cuz hell sell it cheap. and talking to animals would be the best thing ever.

Injah500 · 7 months

I would honestly choose talking to animals over free herb.

SyluxTheDino · 7 months

Purple one.

srscatattack · 7 months

can i smoke out of it?

spacefruit1 · 7 months

did anybody realize that if you can talk to the animals you would have all of them to help you find weed and it would be way funner than just picking up from your dealer. you could have dogs sniff out huge grow ops or get fucking hawks to just snatch joints out of some scumbag steves hand while hes smoking and bring it over to you! they would also be the ultimate companion for munchie runs when you are at a 10 and unable to move.

TheJokerWasRight · 7 months

I'm surprised no one has said they would take super genius.

Maybe I'm just a fan of the movie Phenomenon, but half as many super genius years seem worth more than a normal amount of normal years. I know it's easy to say this in my 20s, but simply in terms of being able to advance current technology it would be worth it.

Plus I'd be rich from my inventions, create and grow my own breed of superweed, invent a device that talks to animals, and design and install any new body part I wanted. So suck on that.

jcalcerano · 7 months

GREEN!!!

Mord_Fustang · 7 months

maybe im boring but having your lifespan increased by decades sounds pretty fucking sweet..

sayn · 7 months

It says 'You can talk to animals' but it doesn't say they'll talk back. Sounds like I already have a totem!

will_matic · 7 months

body changing totem, giant dick=plenty of girls, career in porn which leads to all the money and weed you want.

IuriGragarian · 7 months

Monster-dong it is.

loradey · 7 months

Green bottom left totem. What. How was that even a question.

saptsen · 7 months

As a super genius I would find ways to extend my lifespan indefinitely

DurpyDurpDurp · 7 months

50% longer life, more time to do... things.

irrelevancy · 7 months

The red one. Extra life is awesome. However, if it would not protect me from cancer or whatever, and I would die at 68 of cancer one way or the other I would choose the satchel of weed.

Talking to animals would be sweet, but then you would always have to hear about their bullshit. Squirrel noises would be so much more obnoxious. Money isn't worth giving up love to me. Making others seem attractive while nice for homely folk, doesn't really do anything for me.

Being a genius is as much a curse as a blessing, and to tack on the 50% decrease in lifespan... I will take an extra 50 yrs to learn, thank you very much.

Seeing the future is such a double edged sword. I don't like spoilers for movies let alone my life. Finally I am not so vain as to want to change a body part.

IAMAvelociraptorAMAA · 7 months

PURPLE TOTEM. SUPER HUGE COCK

Rokmanfilms · 7 months

Gray totem. With super genius abilities, I can do something world-changing and impact humanity in an incredible way, essentially living forever in the social consciousness for my accomplishments. Even if I die sooner, I'll better the world, much more than I probably will with my life...

Nwsamurai · 7 months

Wait... it says I can talk to animals, but it doesn't say anything about being able to understand them. I smell shenanigans.

I'm going to stick with the advice my grandfather gave me on his deathbed, never trust a wizard offering you magic talismans.

Kuhl137 · 7 months

Number 7 - See parts of the future. Acquire the right stocks - get rich (number 1 is obsolete by that) - actually see it as a blessing that no one believes you. BOOM

lookieausername · 7 months

Rainbow. Wait. How large of a satchel?

bsonk · 7 months

See "parts of" future
Play stock market
Profit
Buy a satchel of weed and more every month.

edit: also,

Start a super-PAC
Spend millions on ads and lobbyists to legalize weed
Profit off a new legal weed business.

JereHakala · 7 months

See to future, win at lottery, get bitches, get weed.

Spaceplant · 7 months

Dude. I'd want to talk to animals. I'd be like. Hey squirrel friend. You should go find me some marijuana in the forest or something. And he'd be like. No man. That's a lot of work. And then I'd be like. Oh well I think a bird would be a better choice for the job anyway. And then I would be like. Hey Dave (That's the bird's name) go find me some marijuana in the forest. And he'd be like. What? We don't live near a forest. And I'd be like. Oh.. Well keep an eye out for me will ya? And he'd be like. Alright man. I'll see what I can do. And then I'd like give him some bread because birds need to eat too.

schulzie420 · 7 months

The green. Talking to animals with no adverse effects..... sweet

BeerPowered · 7 months

I'm not sure if i'd like to talk to animals or to have a giant claw. I can grow weed by myself.

trees

Posting Rules

MODERATORS

trees

Posting Rules

MODERATORS

you'll need to login or register to do that

create a new account

login