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988
989

No one will ever find it! (1.bp.blogspot.com)

submitted ago by SplodeyDope

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[–]squid_tree 55 points56 points ago

No one but the prepubescent insecure girl.... oh wait i get it now

[–]NarglesEverywhere 21 points22 points ago

I think the real fun happens when that girl's mom picks up the book. Ever encounter a "TwiMom" before?

[–]coderascal 0 points1 point ago

No. But I've encountered TwitMoms before. They are a handful.

[–]I_DRINK_PERIOD_BLOOD 86 points87 points ago

The problem is you then have to keep a copy of Twilight on your shelf.

[–]Pseudophobic 18 points19 points ago

They will find it when they burn the book

[–]11equals7 5 points6 points ago

boom

[–]SplodeyDope[S] 39 points40 points ago

Drat! Foiled again!

[–]patriotaxe 20 points21 points ago

Just get drunk. Problem solved.

[–]TheLazyElf 3 points4 points ago

B-b-but then the book will be empty and you'll have no reason to have it!

[–]sircarp 20 points21 points ago

Sounds like an excuse to buy another bottle.

[–]patriotaxe 5 points6 points ago

Not to mention a great reason to throw away the book.

[–]svullenballe 6 points7 points ago

Or if you have a teenage daughter.

[–]Frenchy-LaFleur 0 points1 point ago

Alert IAmA. I sense a story brewing!

[–]chris-martin 35 points36 points ago

... Except redditors will, because you all have an obsession with Twilight.

[–]varemia 27 points28 points ago

Ugh, man. I hate this book series so much. I need to prove it to you by reading it all the way through and pointing out all the suck that is Twilight... gosh

[–]I_Wont_Draw_That 12 points13 points ago

While ironically listening to Nickelback.

[–]neoice 7 points8 points ago

my wife tried to read it because so many lady friends insisted the book was better than the movie. her review was "absolute shit, like it was written by a middle school student in their first creative writing course."

[–]MedicalMechanica 6 points7 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

you all

clearly has an account.

[–]adaminc 1 point2 points ago

everybody!

[–]BlueSnake187 5 points6 points ago

I actually have no problem doing this...just with a better book. How does one carve out a book to do this?

[–]Buhdahl 5 points6 points ago

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Hollow-Book

[–]BlueSnake187 1 point2 points ago

Thanks! Now I have to find the perfect book for the Johnnie Walker

[–]habitue 1 point2 points ago

You can just go at it with an exacto, removing a few layers at a time.

[–]Ares1221 4 points5 points ago

Then you realize it's because no one actually comes over.

[–]IPromiseImHuman 4 points5 points ago

But, you actually have to BUY the book. It's people like you...

[–]Derpettia 0 points1 point ago

For a quarter at a garage sale.

[–]Coldsquall 15 points16 points ago

... Black Label deserves better than that

[–]LifeandLimb 33 points34 points ago

I came here to say the opposite.

[–]havesometea1 4 points5 points ago

Me too.

[–]szchm 5 points6 points ago

It's pretty decent for a blend, but yeah, it's not too good for Twilight.

[–]OniKoroshi 8 points9 points ago

That's not saying much though. It's drinkable but you can find a nice single malt for less.

[–]gonkotheclown 1 point2 points ago

Black Label is anything from 20 to 25 euro here. I have yet to find a single malt for less than that. I'd much rather spend 5 to 10 euro more for some Highland Park 12yo or even Green Label (probably the best of the JWs) though.

[–]havesometea1 0 points1 point ago

I'd rather drink a good bourbon than a blended scotch...blended anything pretty much sucks.

[–]radektheczar 2 points3 points ago

you do realize that most bourbons are blended right?

[–]PlatinumJack -4 points-3 points ago

I'll stick with the Gold, thanks.

[–]Iwantmorethings -2 points-1 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]goofball_jones -2 points-1 points ago

Oh goody, here we're gonna get some people saying how better single-malt is to a blend like Black Label.

Blow it out yer asses, Black Label rules. If it was good enough for Christopher Hitchens, it's good enough for pretentious douche-bags too.

[–]habitue 1 point2 points ago

See, but you're just arguing back with an appeal to authority. An equally invalid argument.

Have you tried a single malt? They taste quite different because they don't have grain whisky in them like blends do.

[–]habitue 5 points6 points ago

Get some Highland Park 12, much better flavor, similar price, high availability

[–]zulu90 5 points6 points ago

or some laphroaig if you've got the money

[–]no_nick 1 point2 points ago

Not everyone is into the very smoky stuff - or so I've heard.

[–]havesometea1 1 point2 points ago

Don't care for that smokey flavor myself.

[–]habitue 0 points1 point ago

I love Laphroaig, but I think Highland Park is more generally accessible. If you don't like Highland Park, you probably won't like many other single malts.

[–]xmendad 0 points1 point ago

Drinking some now. Cheers!

[–]alahos 1 point2 points ago

Red Label then.

[–]mei9ji 5 points6 points ago

For black label? Really?

[–]jeblis 3 points4 points ago

Blue then.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

It's probably less about hiding it because it's too expensive/high end, but more about hiding it because OP is somewhere drinking is discouraged (like at work)?

[–]dumble99 0 points1 point ago

It's a repost anyway, but I'm guessing that's the jist of it.

[–]dlogan3344 2 points3 points ago

Except your wife

[–]uncooked_baby_blood 2 points3 points ago

Perfect! Hide something by putting it in an incredibly popular book!

[–]PuckishGrin 3 points4 points ago

No one but teenage girls, you clever bastard.

[–]Lambdaleth 5 points6 points ago

This should come with every Stephanie Meyer book. Once people realise what they're reading, they can drink away their sadness!

[–]Awful_Grammar_Nazi 5 points6 points ago

I think you meant "their reading"..

[–]Dapwell 1 point2 points ago

Why would anyone be sad reading such crappy tween bullshit?

[–]Shimokurasaka 0 points1 point ago

Summer break will lead a man to do terrible things...

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]dsotc27 0 points1 point ago

You could be a teacher

[–]TheOrangeIguana 1 point2 points ago

Lol it's funny because we hate twilight right?

[–]Dunge 1 point2 points ago

Why? Why hide it? Just fucking drink that RIGHT NOW!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]quantumsheep 0 points1 point ago

Alcoholism is not a laughing matter. To seek help, call 555-72384.

[–]hskrmn 1 point2 points ago

But they'll be really surprise when the book blows up as its burning...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Except your teen daughter. Plan /foiled.

[–]Mammus 1 point2 points ago

Some girl is getting drunk tonight...

[–]d6nt_ban_me_again 1 point2 points ago

salvation lies within.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

LOL yeah cuz twilight is so gay! Am I cool now too?!

[–]mitchewith2ls 1 point2 points ago

I tried this with my Kindle. Would NOT recommend.

[–]lazf 1 point2 points ago

Why hide booze?

[–]FrozenBananaStand 1 point2 points ago

That's awesome. My porn is hidden in a folder called "Twilight Series" on our server.

[–]OmegaVesko 10 points11 points ago

My porn is hidden ... on our server

Why.

[–]FrozenBananaStand 1 point2 points ago

More screens.

[–]liescontrolus 0 points1 point ago

But the person you want to keep it away from the most is the most likely to find it. Might I suggest a dictionary instead, no one will find it in there.

[–]RIPnRhyme 0 points1 point ago

How the fuck do you cut the pages like this? I've tried it before and it is not easy.

[–]triggershadow9er 0 points1 point ago

i have been trying to do this forever...

[–]nprnpbr 0 points1 point ago

... the best love story ever told.

[–]erode 0 points1 point ago

You're supposed to get a book thick enough to actually conceal the entire bottle plus a couple hundred pages which help conceal the bottle if they decide to look at the first few pages as if they know how to read.

[–]Cluster_Funk 0 points1 point ago

I have the same thing except with trees...

[–]Yetchi13 0 points1 point ago

you've made a great love story out of a shitty one. upvote for you!

[–]Caniid 0 points1 point ago

Every time I have a book at my hands reach, I feel the urge to flip through it´s pages, even though I may not be interested in it´s contents.

[–]narrowtux 0 points1 point ago

House MD hides his vicodine in a book about lupus... Because it's never lupus.

[–]BoredomHeights 0 points1 point ago

Salvation lies within. Edit: didn't notice someone beat me too it.

[–]slitrobo 0 points1 point ago

That would make an excellent gift for someone in my family.

[–]itsgotcharacter 0 points1 point ago

That is an egregiously horrific and unholy thing that you are subjecting that scotch to.

[–]dethbunny 0 points1 point ago

Why not drink a real single malt scotch? Glenlivet, Glenfiddich.. C'mon, you're better than Johnny Walker.

[–]K5Doom 0 points1 point ago

Why would you need to hide your bottle?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

perfect plan....young teenage girls will find drink then you can have your way with them lmao

[–]kloober 0 points1 point ago

So it's okay if people think you're so obsessed with Twilight that you carry the book around with you for months or years on end. But you wouldn't want them to know you drink alone.

You, sir, have larger problems than you may realize. Among them may be finding humor in Twilight jokes.

[–]Strange1130 0 points1 point ago

guy from sudan could've learned a thing or two. too soon?

[–]PossiblyPossible 0 points1 point ago

Did you give it to your coworker who was moving away?

[–]usedtowork 0 points1 point ago

yes surely no one will ever pull one of the most popular books of all time off your shelf

[–]Lost_in_Thought_43 0 points1 point ago

Why would you taint such a masterpiece? Now no one will be able to drink that whiskey.

[–]happot 0 points1 point ago

Wouldn't a Twilight book stick out in the freezer?

[–]BloodThirsty989 0 points1 point ago

I bet there is a better romance in that bottle than twilight anyway.

[–]profnutbutter 0 points1 point ago

Whenever I see that book cover, I just think of the creepy hand model interview.

[–]DefaultGen 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, pick the one book that people will pick out on the shelf from 15ft away and throw across the room saying "What the hell is this"!

[–]corpsed2112 0 points1 point ago

Another twilight book. Better keep "walking".

[–]johncorcoran 0 points1 point ago

Yes but now its tainted from contact with theTwilight.

[–]poo6_3J-3M_3doH_I 0 points1 point ago

except your daughter.

[–]red13 0 points1 point ago

Promoting underage/middle-age drinking huh?

[–]Jbatts93 0 points1 point ago

You sir are a gentleman, and a scholar.

[–]goofball_jones 0 points1 point ago

Only, it taints the scotch being so close to mediocrity.

[–]TheGreenBackPack 0 points1 point ago

except for your pre-teen daughter, to which you will contribute to her early addiction to alcohol. great parenting.

[–]megabetty 0 points1 point ago

You should have hidden it in the lupus text book. It's never lupus.

[–]Alexi_Strife 0 points1 point ago

Black out drunk, alone and puking into a toilet filled with taco bell and diarrhea. Still a better love story than Twilight.

[–]GrayStudios 0 points1 point ago

The circlejerking...it hurts...

[–]5k3k73k 0 points1 point ago

Could someone explain the Twilight hate to me?

[–]sizzlepizzle 0 points1 point ago

Because,they will never look.

[–]zimbabwe7878 0 points1 point ago

Did you win the giveaway by scratchmybackerman on youtube?

[–]BadAssBadger24 0 points1 point ago

Besides Twighlight, How did you cut the hole in the book?

[–]spider2544 0 points1 point ago

Its black label... Pretty sure you could leave it out on the shelf and no one drink it

[–]8-bit_d-boy 0 points1 point ago

Now, not many people know this, but you can hide your weed in there.

[–]crashdummie -1 points0 points ago

A friend of mine did the exact same thing! Still a better love story than Twilight.

[–]mc_curtis10 -1 points0 points ago

I actually have a bit of an issue with this. While Twilight probably is shit (like most people, I haven't actually read it and, therefore, don't have a valid opinion on it), I still don't like the idea of doing this to any book. If you dislike it, I suppose you could sell or donate it instead of destroying it. Somebody'll read and enjoy it.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Kaelidoz 0 points1 point ago

Hello Cpt.Obvious o/

[–]BoernerMan -1 points0 points ago

Yes...

[–]Snorlax_is_on_fire -1 points0 points ago

Still, a better story than Twilight

[–]Jwbeach -1 points0 points ago

Still a better love story.

[–]escalat0r -2 points-1 points ago

LOLOLOLOLOL I GET IT: TWILIGHT IS NOT A GOOD NOVEL! HILARIOUS! WE MUST SPREAD OUR OPINION; I THINK NOBODY KNOWS MANY PEOPLE THIS SO!

[–]LiveFreeFratHard -2 points-1 points ago

Fuck yes. Frat on, sir.

[–]r0ckarong -3 points-2 points ago

The sad part about this is someone actually bought a copy of that book in order to do this meaning whoever actually writes this shit got money and thinks it's worth writing more.

[–]Natfod -4 points-3 points ago

i don't usually find twilight jokes funny, but, when i do.. it involves my favorite variety of liquor.

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