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top 200 commentsshow all 262

[–]AqueousBeef[S] 298 points299 points ago

[–]r-howtonotgiveafuck 287 points288 points ago*

I gather that a lion fucked a dog to make this?

[–]JafffaCake 88 points89 points ago

My mother was a lion and my father was a very brave dog.

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 60 points61 points ago

My father was a hamster and my mother smelt of elderberries.

[–]nhprm 14 points15 points ago

That's funny, because this guy I know always says his mother was a hampster, while his father was the one who smelt of elderberry.

[–]stuffandorthings 4 points5 points ago

mother fuckin twins,

I'm callin jerry

[–]jerrifus 0 points1 point ago

You called?

[–]Drail 5 points6 points ago

I will get downvoted for this simple comment, reddit doesn't like that stuff. I love you. And Monty Python.

[–]Farfecknugat 34 points35 points ago

probably just a couple hundred years of selective breeding

[–]HappyDays7 249 points250 points ago

Well, that's an interesting theory and all, but I think we're gonna have to go with lion-fucking canines.

[–]NeverTrustaMonkey 23 points24 points ago

Or canine-fucking lions?

[–]excalo 66 points67 points ago

Well that would be simply ridiculous.

[–]theghostofme 23 points24 points ago

Right?

Jesus, we're trying to have an interesting discussion about intraspecies breeding, and NeverTrustaMonkey wants to talk about a feline mounting a canine?

I mean, that's just absurd. Everyone knows that felines are all female, and canines are all male. Case in point.

[–]meikana 13 points14 points ago

Everyone knows that felines are all female, and canines are all male.

Until I was 10 or so, I actually believed this.

[–]WretchedLocket 2 points3 points ago

Intraspecies breeding is not nearly as interesting as interspecies breeding

[–]theghostofme 0 points1 point ago

Eh, you say interspecies, I say tah-mah-toe.

[–]stuffandorthings 1 point2 points ago

Or Mother-Fucking Snakes

[–]CerpinTaxes 11 points12 points ago

They're actually one of the oldest pedigrees in the world.

Also the most expensive dog ever purchased was a Tibetan Mastiff, they are revered by the Chinese.

[–]Big_Baby_Jesus 5 points6 points ago*

More specifically, owning one has become a huge status symbol among China's rich. The price of these dogs has skyrocketed in the past decade.

Anybody can have a quarter million dollar car. But if you have a quarter million dollar car and a quarter million dollar dog? That's big baller.

[–]Bellinomz 5 points6 points ago

Either that or a mutated muppet...

[–]bowties_are_cool_ 7 points8 points ago

It's Clifford! O.O

[–]A_WILD_ABRA_APPEARED 1 point2 points ago

So much for that idea.

[–]Stealyphil1905 0 points1 point ago

Steal a male and a female.

Mate the male and female.

Allow female to birth litter.

Take the stolen ones back where you found them and keep the puppies.

[–]booooooooooooosh 5 points6 points ago

Big Splash, or Hong Dong in Chinese.

I think something was lost in translation...Nope, nevermind. He is pretty hong dong.

[–]swiftysam 20 points21 points ago

That's a straight up Poke'mon.

[–]BunsTown 6 points7 points ago

[–]teamocil22 7 points8 points ago

Thanks. My first guess was Teenage Mutant Ninja Chow Chow.

[–]dactyif 8 points9 points ago

Correction, this is beast mode; http://imgur.com/DKOSj

[–]snorelacks 2 points3 points ago

No, that's fabulous mode.

[–]blastinonions 0 points1 point ago

No, that's fierce mode.

[–]DaddyDanceParty 8 points9 points ago

Red Tibetan Mastiff to be more specific. They're a lot more rare and expensive than other mastiffs.

[–]TheMediumPanda 10 points11 points ago

You got some money in China? Then you have to show off with a Samoyed or that one, even if you don't know anything about dogs, kick it around and keep it chained 24/7.

Also, those mastiffs are a pretty nasty breed. It's just about the only dog I'd NEVER approach if I see someone with it in a park or so (dog lover here whose family have had dogs from I was a toddler). They are fiercely territorial and will growl or worse at any outsider. They're strong motherfuckers as well so everytime I see a 50 kilo woman showing off her dog I always think "Yeah, good luck if he sees a cat".

[–]fofifth 7 points8 points ago

You've seen someone with a million dollar red Tibetan Mastiff at the dog park?

[–]TheMediumPanda 0 points1 point ago

eh,, what? Not sure what you're referring to. I think I'm just pointing out that some people would rather spend 2-3 wan on an aggressive, inbred dog than to pick one up for free or for a few hundred kuai,, all in the name of face value.

[–]fofifth 0 points1 point ago

The dog that is in the original post is a red Tibetan Mastiff. A recent buyer (actually the same guy in the picture) spent near $1.5 million US on this dog. I think its safe to say you haven't seen too many red Tibetan Mastiffs in your time; yet you are saying things like,

Also, those mastiffs are a pretty nasty breed

They are fiercely territorial

And then you compare it to a Samoyed which costs a few hundred US dollars.

[–]taco_bob 20 points21 points ago

gigantic Chow Chow

[–]heytheredelilahTOR 6 points7 points ago

It's a Tibetan Mastiff however

Chow Chows are believed to be one of the oldest dog breeds. They seem to be relatives of Tibetan Mastiffs and Nordic Spitz dogs such as the Samoyed of northern Siberia. Source http://factsanddetails.com/china.php?itemid=265&catid=12&subcatid=81#05

[–]DavidLee_RMNB 4 points5 points ago

Not a chow chow. Chows have blue/black tongues.

[–]HovarTM 2 points3 points ago

It sucks that they cost so much.

[–]anume 21 points22 points ago

[–]Love_Haaf10 1 point2 points ago

It looks like Entei in my opinion.

[–]meatloafsurprise 1 point2 points ago

I'd pay any price if this dog could be mixed with a corgi.

[–]AqueousBeef[S] 0 points1 point ago

Agreed

[–]TheDarknessInside 0 points1 point ago

holy cow that looks like a mutant lion!!

[–]iconfuseyou 0 points1 point ago

It is neither a cow, lion nor mutant.

[–]Epicman 0 points1 point ago

Aww look at it, it thinks it is soooo ferocious.

[–]derpaherpa 0 points1 point ago

Waaaay too fluffy to look intimidating.

[–]dearastronomer 0 points1 point ago

It's like a huge, fluffy rottie

[–]Good_Guy_Graig 0 points1 point ago

I want one of these! I want one and I hope I can make it speak english in a british accent!

[–]Catona 0 points1 point ago

Mastiff unleashes...CUDDLE ATTACK!

[–]phildis 0 points1 point ago

[–]kgflash1 29 points30 points ago

Looks like the new Nvidia 680 demo.

[–]SheepForOre 25 points26 points ago

It's like a giant cat version of a dog.

[–]Bulletbill22 14 points15 points ago

It reminds me of Tiger from "Fievel Goes West."

[–]LilDrumrGrl 1 point2 points ago

Tiger was a main character in "An American Tail" as well.

[–]ikilledyourcat 0 points1 point ago

reminds me of the "brain bug" in starship troopers, just fuzzy

[–]jahpro 42 points43 points ago

If i remember correctly, Tibetan Mastiffs are currently the most expensive dogs in the world due to their rarity and desirability in the Asian community. They are said to bring great prosperity and are highly sought after as a symbol of societal status.

[–]ced1106 18 points19 points ago

And once you lose your shirt in the Chinese land bubble, you can eat it.

[–]Atersed 15 points16 points ago

And make bedding.

[–]CompulsivelyCalm 11 points12 points ago

For forty families.

[–]BrotherSeamus 1 point2 points ago

Wait, wait... there's even MORE space dust!

[–]Bitter_Idealist 1 point2 points ago

So what do you suppose is going on in this picture? If I have a million-dollar dog, I can't say that I'd be messing around with it like that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

That one that sold for a million bucks happens to have an incredible pedigree. You can still get ahold of a pup in most countries in the 1,000 - 3,000 range. Once the breed catches on the prices will go down.

I hope these things replace pitbulls as the trendy hipster attack dogs. I love the look of these mastiffs.

[–]Abomonog 0 points1 point ago

Hipster attack dogs? I always saw them as trendy redneck attack dogs.

I thought the trendy hipster attack dog was the Chihuahua.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I live in the city and all the hipsters seem to have pits nowadays. Not to mention the ridiculous amount of "THATS RACIST" posts I see on FB about people who discriminate against pitbulls or refuse to adopt them.

Seriously they are fucking everywhere right now.

[–]MrBecker 36 points37 points ago*

I thought Mufasa died.

[–]patriotaxe 6 points7 points ago

Look again, he is dead. He's being used as an expensive rug.

[–]walkatnight 149 points150 points ago

that dog is not glad that it exists...

[–]plunderhunter 8 points9 points ago

Reminds me of this.

[–]beergoggles69 4 points5 points ago

wooooo

[–]OSU_BeaverBeliever 47 points48 points ago

Exactly my reaction... If I were a dog, I'd rather not be bred as a novelty.

[–]buddha_nigga 4 points5 points ago

That dog isn't bred as a novelty. Tibetan Mastiffs are a really old breed of dogs that were originally used as guard dogs. Sure it may be seen more as a "novelty" dog now but that's not what it was bred for originally.

[–]Advertisements 26 points27 points ago

Better then bred to be eaten by an elephant

[–]excalo 66 points67 points ago

It is a little known fact that the African elephant is the natural predator of the domesticated dog.

[–]guinness_blaine 34 points35 points ago

...am I now subscribed to ElephantFacts? Please say yes.

[–]give_me_a_number 10 points11 points ago

yes

[–]aceduude 10 points11 points ago

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

thats_not_a_number

[–]theghostofme 1 point2 points ago

That might explain why my mom's Shih-tzu is the most skiddish fucking creature in the world.

That, or his mother was addicted to crack. Honestly, after five years, neither rampaging elephants or crack-addicted dog would really surprise me.

[–]LukaCola 2 points3 points ago

How could you not be content with that dog's life?

[–]yagmot 0 points1 point ago

if you were a dog, you wouldn't know any better :P

[–]sudsomatic 8 points9 points ago

"keeeell meeee"

[–]EricWadsworth 0 points1 point ago

did a double take to see if they said glad or sad

Edit; spelling

[–]Kjell_Aronsen 0 points1 point ago

Fortunately, it's had no concept of the existence of an outside world for the last five years.

[–]Gurnsey_ 83 points84 points ago

[–]Gerasik 59 points60 points ago

Reminds me of Fullmetal Alchemist

[–]ElAvestruz 54 points55 points ago

Oh god. . .Nina. . .

[–]deathonater 27 points28 points ago*

The moment that series went from a quirky anime to HOLY SHIT BALLS!

[–]psiondoodler 38 points39 points ago

Uh... not to be a dick, but the show was pretty dark from the first ep. I mean... they resurrect their mother as a soulless abomination of gurgling twisted flesh, at the cost of vast physical mutilation to themselves.

[–]HRP 8 points9 points ago

I keep on meaning to get into Fullmetal Alchemist again. What's the deal with the whole Brotherhood thing?

[–]Njugguh 9 points10 points ago

It sticks to the manga and is better drawn(in my opinion).

[–]psiondoodler 1 point2 points ago

Not 100% since I only watched the first series, but I think it's a reboot that is meant to be more closely based on the manga.

[–]JakeSteele 1 point2 points ago

darker, better story. you should watch it.

[–]Dentarthurdent42 0 points1 point ago

I watched Brotherhood first, and I'm currently halfway through the original anime. I really liked Brotherhood, and the original is pretty awesome, too. I highly recommend both. Now, I just have to get my hands on the movies and the manga...

[–]pink_play-doh 2 points3 points ago

My guy and I started watching that show. He was all "Man, this show is so feel-good." Next episode..Nina. What were you saying, dear? ;____;

[–]r8e8tion 10 points11 points ago

That guy looks pretty excited that dog exists too...

[–]Psiphaser 12 points13 points ago

Appa! Yip yip!

[–]LumpyDog 10 points11 points ago

Ludo's not getting around so well these days.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

SMELL . . . . BAAAAAD

[–]antonfire 10 points11 points ago

It must belong to this guy.

[–]7254863 30 points31 points ago

can Kim Jung Un eat it?

[–]excalo 5 points6 points ago

I'm pretty sure he can eat anything...

[–]Pokemaniac_Ron 1 point2 points ago

His alter ego, known throughout the galaxy: Matter Eater Lad!

[–]poptart2nd 1 point2 points ago

time until you're both banned from /r/pyongyang: 27 seconds

[–]Pokemaniac_Ron 1 point2 points ago*

It was actually 7 min, they must have a backlog at the moment. Though I have made a disrespectful comment or two about KJU in the past, so I'm surprised I wasn't already on the list. That, and I'm a USAn masquerading as a Japanese videogame character, that should have given me two strikes by default, I'd think.

[–]WhatTheFlux1 0 points1 point ago

Is it really controlled by the North Korean Government?

[–]poptart2nd 0 points1 point ago

it's a complete mystery, just like the actual country of DPRK

[–]Ajile 18 points19 points ago

[–]itssofluffy 23 points24 points ago

You rang?

[–]Groening_References 16 points17 points ago

They're the perfect breed for fending off hordes of attacking tigers.

http://www.thedogsbreeds.com/gallery/tibetan-mastiff/tibetan_mastiff_3.jpg

[–]sibane 17 points18 points ago

That's no dog. It's a space station.

[–]Sojoez 4 points5 points ago

Is that that Chinese gangster from earlier this week?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

That was just a week ?

Damn, it feels like a fucking month.

[–]Atheist_Simon_Haddad 5 points6 points ago

"Mornin' Sam!"

"Mornin' Ralph."

[–]gnarlysaurus 7 points8 points ago

/r/animalporn yesterday, /r/funny today.

[–]booberri 19 points20 points ago

I was a bit nervous to click the first link.

[–]gnarlysaurus 7 points8 points ago

Then you haven't been on reddit long enough.

[–]No_Manners 11 points12 points ago

The dog doesn't look too glad to exist.

[–]TasteThePaste 2 points3 points ago

It's as if Bear in the Big Blue House received Lipo.

[–]zomgw00t 2 points3 points ago

"Bear fucker! Do you need assistance?"

[–]crober11 2 points3 points ago

That's a fucking half dog half bear

[–]jordanbnell 2 points3 points ago

Ando?? What are you doing here and where's Hiro?

[–]RexPunchard 2 points3 points ago

Is it just me, or does this dog look like Reggie Watts?

[–]woozey69 1 point2 points ago

now if it starts doing "fuck Shit Stack" then that seriously Reggie Watts getting reach a rounded by an Asian man in public.

[–]Menospan 2 points3 points ago

Reminds me of this

[–]blastinonions 0 points1 point ago

He is the rider

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

What a fat fuck

[–]fap_to_all_the_pics 1 point2 points ago

I wish I was that guy in the pic

[–]scurvydog-uldum 0 points1 point ago

What was there to fap to in that pic?

Purple pants turn you on?

[–]Bodilis 1 point2 points ago

Solo! Hay lapa no ya, Solo!

[–]ILOVEthe80sMAN 1 point2 points ago

It however, not so glad.

[–]Amerikai 1 point2 points ago

5.25 a lb?

[–]neteiru 1 point2 points ago

In case anyone cares. The Tibetan Mastiff puppies go for $2k. The red versions of the Tibetan Mastiff go up for $1.5 mil making it the most expensive dog in the world.

[–]Obi--Wan 1 point2 points ago

Somebody needs to add a brazzers logo.

[–]Braindawg123 1 point2 points ago

I would make a saddle for that beast if I had one...

[–]Simthug 1 point2 points ago

As cute as they look, the ones native to the region are pretty aggressive... you really have to domesticate them right.

[–]sp4zzy 1 point2 points ago

I think he might be related to Gossamer

[–]ClownsInJumpsuits 1 point2 points ago

downside, these dogs are fucking VICIOUS. They will literally tear your soul apart.

[–]firewall200 1 point2 points ago

[–]dsfox 1 point2 points ago

Too bad he has no bones.

[–]redgreenandblue 1 point2 points ago

that's what I call a healthy, and not-at-all too far breed dog, right there. It's so close to a wolf, that I practically can hear it howl right out of that picture.

[–]LOOOOOOOO0OOOOOOOOOL 1 point2 points ago

  1. They are worth up to 1.5m
  2. They are the most vicious dogs alive (they will rip pitbulls apart)

Just so you know

[–]stevietwoslice 1 point2 points ago

Fixed. Someone add caption?

[–]CocaC 1 point2 points ago

Holy fucking shit. Every time I looked at the original picture, I saw a microphone in the guy's hand. It wasn't until you photoshopped one in that I realised there was simply no microphone.

[–]Menegrand 0 points1 point ago

Should I be scared or excited?

[–]theghostofme 0 points1 point ago

Who says it can't be a little bit of both?

[–]jelaimeamourir 0 points1 point ago

Why??

[–]merebrillante 0 points1 point ago

"No, I'm sorry, we're dismissing this dog."

[–]jen_and_juice 0 points1 point ago

The guy in the first row on the left looks kinda like the human version of the doggy o_o.

[–]TheGreatNico 0 points1 point ago

The exact thought that went through my head.

[–]idontknownothing 0 points1 point ago

steroids...

[–]GrammarBeImportant 0 points1 point ago

[–]Madeleine227 0 points1 point ago

Is this the dog that just earned the title of "most expensive dog in the world"?

[–]amh2011 0 points1 point ago

Still waiting for the brazzers tag. Come on people.

[–]bvanman 0 points1 point ago

please...kill...me...

[–]KrazyEyezKilla 0 points1 point ago

The guy bottom left in the background is it's father.

[–]mossbergman 0 points1 point ago

is this the dog that has the Guinness book of world record as being the most expensive dog in the world, 900K british pounds(IIRC)?

[–]samiv2 0 points1 point ago

That dog looks like how I'm going to feel in the morning.

[–]WreckerOfRectums 0 points1 point ago

Dog or not, I'm just glad those pants exist!

[–]kraemahz 0 points1 point ago

open this in the background when viewing this picture.

[–]humongous 0 points1 point ago

Impregnate all the bitches.

[–]kaisersausage 0 points1 point ago

"Just Kill Me Please"

[–]lemoncholly 0 points1 point ago

That dog's not that shaggy.

[–]CRAZYSCIENTIST 0 points1 point ago

Looks like that alien from starship troopers. The Brain Bug.

[–]notoriousjpg 0 points1 point ago

These dogs are meant to be fierce as fork. Used as guard dogs in north west china.

[–]frostybollocks 0 points1 point ago

The most expensive dog in the world

[–]HovarTM 0 points1 point ago

Belongs in /r/aww

[–]Shmackledorf 0 points1 point ago

I think the man on the far left could be related to this dog...

[–]darkstarundead 0 points1 point ago

this is my favorite type of dog! the ones that have the coloration of a doberman are freaking awesome! so vicious looking!

[–]Shnazzyone 0 points1 point ago

There is a dog.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago*

Meanwhile the poor thing is saying, "please kill me..."

[–]someguy82 0 points1 point ago

What the hell is that man doing to the dog?!?!

[–]Daeion 0 points1 point ago

needs moar courage, imo.

[–]BunsTown 0 points1 point ago

Can someone please photoshop out the guy holding the dog? I would but I am on my phone.

[–]jtth 0 points1 point ago

These actually diverged from the wolf line about 10,000 years before most domestic dogs. They are quite special.

[–]wayndom 0 points1 point ago

That is absolutely tragic.

Thor.

[–]Timisaghost 0 points1 point ago

*This lion

[–]little_elph 0 points1 point ago

I'm so glad chewbacca is coming out with some new stuff

[–]aakaakaak 0 points1 point ago

Looks like Barkley from sesame Street.

Here's Barkley at the Great Wall of China for comparison.

[–]mafuckinsteviewonder 0 points1 point ago

ummpf

[–]love_glow 0 points1 point ago

i wanna see what that dog looks like after a bath, probably like this

[–]ThaoPham 0 points1 point ago

Wow ! It is so big. I think that is actually a dog because in my aunt house, there is a dog like that but he is smaller . He is very fat like a pig and his hair is sorrounding , full of his body . He eats a lot and do nothing. That is the reason why He is so fat . His motion is so slow and sometimes he can not move because he is so heavy .

[–]ljshea1 0 points1 point ago

9/10 would bang

[–]btnheazy03 0 points1 point ago

that dude in the audience looks like the dog

[–]indigobro 0 points1 point ago

Arcanine.. you gained a few pounds.

[–]AuntieSocial 0 points1 point ago

Mouse? Is that you?

[–]hetzle 0 points1 point ago

hey look the fat guy on the bottom left is making the same face

[–]Nimonic 0 points1 point ago

Man, HDstarcraft really let himself go.

[–]FoulBachelorBalrog 0 points1 point ago

That ain't not dog, that's a frickin' bear!

[–]Oxyuscan 0 points1 point ago

conversely, that dog wishes that it did not exist. Poor guy needs a diet and a haircut

[–]DeFeet 0 points1 point ago

Are we even sure that's a dog?!

[–]ohpeeum 0 points1 point ago

Some kind of smart bug...

[–]vileSpanishiwa 0 points1 point ago

[–]krickaby 0 points1 point ago

hey you... bear-fucker

[–]karrotjuce 0 points1 point ago

Ahhhhh, Asia.

[–]The_designer_pro 0 points1 point ago

that dog is a Tibetan Mastiff it is worth 500k

[–]SynthPrax 0 points1 point ago

I have so much WHY for this.

[–]disclosedimposition 0 points1 point ago

He's not.

[–]sandmankim 0 points1 point ago

Looks like he's humping the dog

[–]frockinbrock 0 points1 point ago

The asians never get that emo look quite right.