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WTF

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top 200 commentsshow all 365

[–]Doesnt_Look_Druish 198 points199 points ago

That's a cricket.

[–]Fishtacoburrito 196 points197 points ago

Was a cricket.

[–]imafunghi 79 points80 points ago

will never see his wife and kids again

[–]pussy_diver 65 points66 points ago

Or Pinocchio.

[–]reddit_user13 34 points35 points ago

Jiminy!

[–]enriquesford 6 points7 points ago

what if?

[–]Karma_Hound 4 points5 points ago

That's just a wafer trapdoor spider

[–]mydogisawesomer 3 points4 points ago

it... has fingers.

[–]texasfootballhall 4 points5 points ago

was blind, so nothing changed.

[–]dudeedud4 1 point2 points ago

DUDE! Not cool!

[–]XOLegato 1 point2 points ago

OM NOM NOM

[–]Skidmarking 123 points124 points ago

I especially like how everyone knows what a trapdoor spider is, but nobody recognizes the difference between a grasshopper and cricket.

[–]Weakgrip 56 points57 points ago

It's because of that episode of the Magical School Bus.

[–]baaaananarama 14 points15 points ago

I apparently missed out on this episode as a child. Can someone please tell me where this particularly horrifying arachnid can be found so that I may avoid that part of the world forever.

[–]anrazor 16 points17 points ago

In your backyard.

[–]czerniana 29 points30 points ago

One more reason for me to keep my pale ginger ass inside.

[–]Happy_Man 12 points13 points ago

You never saw the one where they go into an old black and white horror movie?

Man, you're missing out, that one's gold. Here, have a link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c93dpldNIJ4

[–]nerdydamehadanaxe 5 points6 points ago

I love you.

[–]Jniede 1 point2 points ago

Hah, that made me laugh out loud awkwardly in public. I own a bearded dragon which I feed crickets and can't agree with you more. Never seen or heard of a trapdoor spider but im not going to sleep tonight now.

[–]Wonderman09 97 points98 points ago

Im just trying to convince myself this is some kind of trick and that its actually just hands. Dont ruin this for me.

[–]MrsAnthropy 84 points85 points ago

It's hands. It's hands. It's hands.

[–]koreansarefat 40 points41 points ago

SUPER HANS

[–]CRAG7 6 points7 points ago

Started watching that show without knowing anything about it and blew through the whole series in about a month. Such a great fucking show. David Mitchell is brilliant.

[–]coming_up_milhouse 7 points8 points ago

If you like David Mitchell, watch That Mitchell and Webb Look (their sketch show) and Would I Lie to You (a panel show that he is a team captain on). The second gives you classic David Mitchell rants with regularity.

[–]CRAG7 2 points3 points ago*

I watched all of That Mitchell and Webb Look as well. Way better than most sketch shows here in the US. I don't know where I can watch Would I Lie To You other than clips on youtube.

edit: accidentally a letter

[–]radioslave 1 point2 points ago

Now watch Bruiser, Big Train, The Mitchell and Webb Situation and 10'O Clock Live.

Also Black Books.....

and Hardware.....

Misfits, Inbetweeners, Friday Night Dinner, The IT Crowd....

The Trip, I'm Alan Partridge and Father Ted.

Report back to me at once.

Edit: Spaced.

[–]lolturtle 11 points12 points ago

I am with you bro.... please just be a creepy messed up hand puppet.

[–]mouthfarts 1 point2 points ago

That would be even scarier. I'm still emotionally scarred from the hand-tunnel scene in Labyrinth.

[–]Trap_Door_Spiders 3 points4 points ago

It's not hands

[–]Wonderman09 3 points4 points ago

You stay the fuck away.

[–]CanisLupusAlbus 110 points111 points ago

Trapdoor Spider. Good times. :D

[–]iamnotanotaku 57 points58 points ago

Don't you open that TRAPDOOR!

You're a fool if you dare!

Stay away from that TRAPDOOR!

Coz there's something down there...

[–]DazzaChuth 2 points3 points ago

Do doo do dooo do!

[–]luke_bennett_ 1 point2 points ago

BOURKE... FEED ME!!!

[–]SuBj3cT 57 points58 points ago

I like spiders. My reaction: "Oh, a trapdoor spider, cool."

[–]callthewambulance 42 points43 points ago

GAH. I don't mind little ones but anything bigger than a nickel FUCK THAT.

[–]SuBj3cT 21 points22 points ago

I used to have a tarantula as a pet. That, a snake, and a bearded dragon.

[–]Meatball_express 68 points69 points ago

Awesome. I kept a bearded clam for a bit but then she got annoying.

[–]cymbalxirie290 16 points17 points ago

Dude, I had a bearded fern, and those things are so needy.

[–]goddessofwaterpolo 45 points46 points ago

I have a bearded dad. They're pretty low-maintenance.

[–]Aint_got_no_agua 20 points21 points ago

I have a bearded chin, needs regular trimming but keeps me warm. Would grow again.

[–]goddessofwaterpolo 17 points18 points ago

I hear bearded chins are really loyal. Even if you shave it, it'll always come back.

[–]JamoJustReddit 8 points9 points ago

Too bad you didn't have any water to help it survive.

[–]Owyheemud 6 points7 points ago

When I was a kid, I had a friend who had one of these as a pet like this guy, complete with tunnel and trap door. I watched while he tapped his finger around the trap door and the thing jumped out and bit him. (Not dangerous apparently, more like a hornet sting).

[–]NorCalSamurai 1 point2 points ago

Snakes and lizards are awesome. And I don't mind most spiders, But something about seeing that thing pop out of the ground like some horrendous jack-in-the-box just fucks with my head and makes me shudder with revulsion.

[–]Herp_in_my_Derp 1 point2 points ago

I have 3 tarantulas. Nhandu coloratovillius, Gramastola Rosea, Avicularia Avicularia,

[–]spyzip 12 points13 points ago

I like spiders too, but after reading this, i know this is how i will die. a giant spider coming out of FREAKING NOWHERE.

[–]Onatu 6 points7 points ago

Agreed. I actually expected it when I saw the grasshopper at first. I mean, what else could the title mean when it's a grasshopper in a conspicuously "natural" area.

I love trapdoor spiders so very much.

[–]SuBj3cT 3 points4 points ago

My favorite are horned spiders or Argyroneta aquatica.

[–]mmmorgan 6 points7 points ago

My reaction: Entire body suddenly itches.

[–]Trap_Door_Spiders 10 points11 points ago

I am pretty sure we haven't met...maybe I was drunk that night.

[–]honilee 6 points7 points ago

I thought it was so cool that someone was keeping one as a pet; I'd never thought of doing that before. New thing to put on my "maybe" list.

[–]Craigellachie 3 points4 points ago

Thank you magic school bus.

[–]drsbrady 18 points19 points ago

IT'S LIKE A HAND

[–]Velkrum 1 point2 points ago

Like a hand, eh? Imagine getting a hand job from it.

[–]Nyx_The_Night 10 points11 points ago

[–]Domerhead 282 points283 points ago

NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE

[–]artschoolvillian 210 points211 points ago

I've never felt my asshole shut close out of fear so fast before.

[–]CatsBoobiesAndStuff 178 points179 points ago

the spider is like a fucked up hand grabbing your balls as soon as you sit down on a toilet.

[–]gwvent 158 points159 points ago

Well, so much for taking a poop tonight.

[–]lidlin 52 points53 points ago

Never shitting in a toilet again.

[–]AngryEnt 48 points49 points ago

Would you rather shit in the woods? ಠ_ಠ

[–]AgreesWithIdiots 34 points35 points ago

Meh, I'd shit in a plastic bag, tie it up, and throw it in a neighbor's yard.

[–]AngryEnt 27 points28 points ago

Or better yet, hang it in the trees so the bears don't get at it.

[–]AgreesWithIdiots 10 points11 points ago

No, it's less fun that way.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Is it wrong that I would?

[–]gotnull 0 points1 point ago

If you shit in the woods, can anybody smell it?

[–]Subcidal 28 points29 points ago

Fun story relating to this. One night I came home to find a vinegaroon (SP) Under my monitor on my pc desk the size of my hand, I proceeded to trap it with a bowl taped to a hammer, and the slid a cardboard box under it.

Never have i walked such a short distance, yet shivered so much. I thought I was going to accidently drop it due to my excessive shivering, well luckly I didn't.

I made it to the toilet, and dropped this monster the size of my hand in, AND IT FUCKING WALKED ON TOP OF THE WATER.

My jaw just dropped, I flushed it and it nearly escaped right before the last wave pulled it down, It went into the hole right side up, And i watched its body go down, as its legs held onto the edges, It bearly got sucked down with the last umph of water from the flush.

Needless to say, I didn't take a shit in that bathroom for about 2 and a half years.

[–]maniacus 9 points10 points ago

Googled Vinegaroon, fucking nope, nope, NOPE. I'll be sleeping on the ceiling from now on.

[–]chight10 1 point2 points ago

Some poor bastard, somewhere, had to study this thing so us neckbeards could lose our shit at it

[–]Sir_Jeremiah 4 points5 points ago

Mother of god!

[–]shyamex 6 points7 points ago

never shitting.ever.

[–]Finaltidus 16 points17 points ago

[–]Nyx_The_Night 11 points12 points ago

Clicked expecting a spider. Was pleasantly surprised. Not that I would want to find that in my bathroom either.

[–]DrDWayneLove 10 points11 points ago

My rational mind says that would be worse, but I'd prefer it to a spider.

[–]Boogsiefil 40 points41 points ago

I'm not afraid to poop, as soon as I watched this, it just happened by itself...

[–]morrison539 24 points25 points ago

Saw this while pooping. Reading this while pooping. Currently paralyzed in fear, because I've finished pooping, but now I have to wipe.

[–]hallowedsouls 8 points9 points ago

Turns out it was just your own hand grabbing your balls.

[–]DCBizzle 1 point2 points ago

Then who was spider?!

[–]chikinboy 18 points19 points ago

And now I am afraid to go poop. ಠ_ಠ

[–]thatslegitimate 3 points4 points ago

I saw the cricket as Link and the spider as an ultra-terrifying Wallmaster.

[–]Azarikesh 5 points6 points ago

My butt won't stop making a fist

[–]DannyHellcat 12 points13 points ago

Why was it open to begin wi-NEVERMIND

[–]brodie21 9 points10 points ago

[–]samsf90 2 points3 points ago

huh.. mine did the exact opposite

[–]MrBoomBoxa 1 point2 points ago

Dude...all my holes shut closed and sewn itself together.

[–]ReDocter17 3 points4 points ago

That was your asshole we saw?!?!

The one with the spider coming out?!?!

Truly a wtf moment!!

[–]sherrybaby82 6 points7 points ago

What kind of restaurant has spiders lurking in the bathroom? Holy F!

[–]TimeTravelTerrorist 6 points7 points ago

((press 4)) Aaaah!! ((press 4)) Aaaah!! ((press 4)) Aaaah!!

[–]awana56 1 point2 points ago

Gonna go curl up in a blanket and cry myself to sleep now. Thanks. o.o

[–]ksneakers 8 points9 points ago

Ironic how nope side-by-side spells open

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]puapsyche 30 points31 points ago*

YOU FUCKING LIAR

EDIT: That is a scorpion, not a spider.

Still-

FUCK YOU.

[–]Subcidal 3 points4 points ago

Scorpions aren't near as scary once you actually get to know them.

Their slow, They don't really hide like spiders do, and they can't climb for shit.

And they love to eat all the nastier spiders, Personally, scorpions are the only spider I don't mind seeing.

[–]IMongoose 1 point2 points ago

Sorry I have to be that guy, but scorpions are not spiders. They are both chelicerates but scorpions and spiders are in different familys.

[–]phoncible 2 points3 points ago

well, he is not_spider_link_guy, so....

[–]Killroyomega 3 points4 points ago

YOU MOTHERFUCKING LIAR!

THAT IS A FUCKING SCORPION!

YOU ARE A FAILURE AND SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

[–]FoxDown 10 points11 points ago

Technically he did his job right.

[–]MrWisebody 5 points6 points ago

I read that as "N OPEN OPEN OPEN OPEN OPEN". It sounds like you are enjoying the show!

[–]bikko 1 point2 points ago

Unfortunately, by running your NOPES together like that you have creating an offset-by-one-letter string of OPENs.

[–]darkkittykatt 30 points31 points ago

my mom had one, she could see her through the tank, because she put her burrow on the side of the glass, thoughtful tarantula is thoughtful.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

Manos! The hand of fate!

[–]TheMartinConan 1 point2 points ago

It's horrible Joel, make it go away!

[–]Kollarism 31 points32 points ago

[–]PracticalDuck 9 points10 points ago

Ohh how wish that gif were real.

[–]ringfortheking99 16 points17 points ago

This made me extremely uncomfortable.

[–]cobweb_toes 9 points10 points ago

same, i got instant shivers watching this and looked around my room expecting to see it.

[–]windowpuncher 11 points12 points ago

As creepy as that is, those spiders are pretty fucking cool.

[–]Speedingturtle 12 points13 points ago

It's a corpser!

[–]llirrem 1 point2 points ago

Quick! Call Fenix!!!

[–]something_facetious 5 points6 points ago

Oh look. A bucket full of nope!

[–]JakeLV426 4 points5 points ago

When he jumped out of that hole, he jumped into my nightmares forever

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

Damn nature you scary!

[–]lilbuzz1996 7 points8 points ago

That thing come 'round mah house, I KILL IT!!!!

[–]JJCrossbow 21 points22 points ago

[–]NAM_killer 1 point2 points ago

Its legs are like sausages!

[–]NAM_killer 4 points5 points ago

Daddy would you like some sausage? Daddy would you like some sau-sa-ges

[–]AestheticPanda 3 points4 points ago

Time to watch the Disney Channel before bed...third time this week.

[–]MrAndroidFilms 10 points11 points ago

I'm usually not scared of spiders... but FUCK this!

[–]ed1380 2 points3 points ago

o_o normal face..... after seeing that O_O!

[–]fapsauss 2 points3 points ago

Trapdoor Spider! I knew that report in 4th grade would pay off..

[–]lolturtle 2 points3 points ago

Yep, I'm done with Reddit today. See you tomorrow. /shiver

[–]FoxDown 1 point2 points ago

See you in 41 minutes.

[–]enriquesford 2 points3 points ago

this made me pick up my feet.

[–]angttu 2 points3 points ago

Dang!i was really planning to sleep with my covers on tonight!!

[–]im_zewalrus 2 points3 points ago

Note to self: do not browse /r/WTF before bed.

[–]my_novelty 2 points3 points ago

I'm laying in bed watching this hand puppet when I see movement out of the corner of my eye.

When you see it.

[–]USeemMad 2 points3 points ago

NOPENOPENOPE. Drums, drums in the deep.

[–]Dvinci 2 points3 points ago

THat thing was a huge amount of nope.

[–]JTLightning 2 points3 points ago

BURN IT WITH FIRE

[–]Good_Guy_Graig 4 points5 points ago

How many legs... does that thing have?

ಠ_ಠ

[–]goddessofwaterpolo 1 point2 points ago

I'm not about to wath it again to find out.

[–]2xw 5 points6 points ago

Ahhh, a cricket being eaten by an Egyptian red trapdoor spider. I used to have one of these, unfortunately they don't seem to last very long in captivity. Not going to buy another one - they are perhaps left in their natural habitat.

[–]bigroblee 4 points5 points ago

Which happens to be just under the rim of the toilets of redditors.

[–]grreeiig 3 points4 points ago

cricket*

[–]castleclouds 1 point2 points ago

I think I learned about these things of Magic School bus

[–]BabyBananaTree 1 point2 points ago

I am now going to cry in my bed for the rest of my life, because that is just creepy as fuck

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

It's times like these I'm glad I'm not a cricket

[–]MiKeLo118 1 point2 points ago

It's a trap.

[–]Ghostly_Snow 1 point2 points ago

Did anyone else think of Gears of War when they saw this?

[–]Commando_Metro 1 point2 points ago

I wasn't gonna sleep tonight anyway.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

[–]Screedon 1 point2 points ago

Literally a Corpser from GOW

[–]spkincaid13 1 point2 points ago

i just got the jizz in my pants out of pure terror and mental suffering.

[–]Matthemp 1 point2 points ago

oh well there goes my sleep

[–]jengerbread 1 point2 points ago

Thank you for killing my boner you asshole.

[–]Quothefool 1 point2 points ago

At first I saw it and it was so quick, but I was like, That's just someone's hand that they painted to look like a spider. So I watched it again. It turns out it's a spider. Feels bad man.

[–]not_this_guy_again 1 point2 points ago

Fuck. That. Shit.

[–]ChocoBerryOwlMaster 1 point2 points ago

Not sleeping tonight. If I will, it would be with a rainbow night light.

[–]Skeezer1991 1 point2 points ago

Waayyyy more than 8 legs... -_-

[–]jordanxjordan 1 point2 points ago

Fuck spiders. Forever.

[–]timenagain 1 point2 points ago

Ahhhh...scary!!!

[–]JadeXY 1 point2 points ago

NOPE!

[–]PaulWR 1 point2 points ago

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

[–]buddyc914 1 point2 points ago

Emergence Day

[–]LongShotSniper 1 point2 points ago

Watched it the first time through, thought it was a hand grabbing the grasshopper, was not scared at all.

Watched it a second time... Not sleeping tonight.

[–]jjk35 1 point2 points ago

NOPE

[–]Bogsworth 1 point2 points ago

Oh bloody hell! After going through this thread, I suddenly heard a light buzz and something "jabbed" at my neck. It's 5 AM, and I live in a student housing apartment. Were it not for this thread, I don't think I would have screamed. Also, screwy crane flies. @_@

[–]Rids85 1 point2 points ago

That's a cricket

[–]NeonNintendo 1 point2 points ago

Hey, that bucket looks PERFECT for containing a fire...

[–]teyegurspoon 1 point2 points ago

I threw up a little in my mouth.

[–]chugireturns 1 point2 points ago

Ohhhhh ..holy crap!!! scary

[–]Lwhoop 1 point2 points ago

Damn! That little cricket looking thing just got ate! Damn nature! You scary!

[–]xXxTrollxXx 1 point2 points ago

Kind of reminds me of that spider in the cave on Gears of War 2

[–]IchTuDirWeh 1 point2 points ago

Fuck, I will never sleep again. As a kid I read about trapdoor spiders and was always terrified there would be one in my yard and eat my foot...

[–]gingerawesomeness 1 point2 points ago

yup. There goes my sleep and my non-fear of spiders. thanks.

[–]tooloosejackson 1 point2 points ago

As someone with a spider phobia I now have a new fear that when man discovers a land with giant animals and insects these spiders will be there. Solution, send the rock to distract all the man eating creatures and nuke it till its glass.

[–]kwokjoel 1 point2 points ago

...WHO THE HECK WOULD EVEN CATCH A SPIDER, PUT DIRT IN A PAIL, PUT THE SPIDER IN, GET A CRICKET, THEN FILM THIS?! But still THIS is scary shit

[–]CookieMonsterGrr 1 point2 points ago

O__O. It's a hand... Please let it be a hand. A hand that just so happens to have a lot of extra fingers

[–]Gravity_Cube 1 point2 points ago

I think satan found his new best friend

[–]leakzilla 5 points6 points ago

[–]WizardBlue 4 points5 points ago

Kind of looks like an Oreo. I can just see something going down like "Oh hey look somebody dropped an OreoooOH MY GOD ARGHHHRHGH!"

[–]g00fyg00ber741 1 point2 points ago

I saw the first one and I was like, "Oh, ok." Then I looked at the second one and SHIT MY PANTS.

[–]Slutmaster83 2 points3 points ago

I hate you.

[–]guyofred 1 point2 points ago

Not like a was planning to sleep anyways...

[–]APpookie 2 points3 points ago

Eeeeeeeewwww it's legs we're so thick eeeeeeeeeeeewwwww Seriously creeped out.

[–]mightyfat 2 points3 points ago

I imagine that spider has Cookie Monster's voice. GRASSHOPPER! OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!

[–]BananApocalypse 2 points3 points ago

This is fake, right?

..right?

guys?

[–]jollygiant75 4 points5 points ago

Nope

[–]ITSAPTERODACTYL 1 point2 points ago

I have literally posted this before. Never have I thought this would happen to me. :(

[–]ZZZZZZZZZZZZARD 1 point2 points ago

[–]Clone019 1 point2 points ago

NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE...

[–]magzillas 0 points1 point ago

I'm going to stay on the sidewalk today.

[–]Swagtastical 0 points1 point ago

"oh that's a bug derp derp what's goin- AHHHHH AHHHH AHHHHHH"

[–]Jaaxx 0 points1 point ago

If I could go back in time, I would not have clicked that link. Nightmares here I come!!

[–]ThatGuyRememberMe 0 points1 point ago

Did anyone else pull their right (Or dominate) foot backwards after seeing this?

[–]thatwyomingpony 0 points1 point ago

For some reason, I thought about the cookie monster when watching this.

Cricket, cricket, cricket starts with C!

[–]satanscondiments 0 points1 point ago

This just made me hungry for some reason.

[–]marvelous_molester 0 points1 point ago

There aren't really people that even for a second thought that somebody had a .. pet grasshopper.. are there..?

[–]occupythekitchen 0 points1 point ago

damn it now I want a pet spider.

[–]urameshi 0 points1 point ago

See...I'm afraid of grasshoppers and yet I still clicked on it..

This mindless redditting needs to stop ASAP.

[–]ma582 0 points1 point ago

Anyone else looking around to make sure there is no spider around?

[–]Trenched 0 points1 point ago

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

[–]Nyzher 0 points1 point ago

That was really creepy.

[–]ZombiesInAMall 0 points1 point ago

Suddenly my loose floorboards seem much more terrifying.

[–]MiguelAE86 0 points1 point ago

I'm not wearing anything on my feet, and when i saw the spider, for some reason i had to wiggle my toes and touch my feet together in cringe-ness.

[–]macncheeseX3 0 points1 point ago

i knew something was ganna pop out D:!