this post was submitted on
800 points (57% like it)
3,173 up votes 2,373 down votes

funny

subscribe2,551,161 readers

9,986 users here now

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 31 comments

[–]Loss-of-Blood 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Damnit Carl you're not even a thing.

[–]Parkmayn 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Carl should be a thing.

[–]recondelta6 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nigel Thornberry it.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That fish is demonstrating the "cocktail party effect".

[–]flamingboard 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Actually it's more like "I know you're talking about me behind my back. You'll pay! You'll all pay!"

[–]Lampmonster1 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Don't bother with that bullshit. If they haven't got the balls to say it to your face, then it doesn't matter anyway. Don't live trying to please people that aren't worthy of it.

[–]Arxilca 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Try having a name that sounds like several other names - or worse, several common words. I always think people are calling me from across the room...

[–]millionsofmonkeys 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

... Yeah, I've BEN busy lately...

[–]CHR1597 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Please never write BEN in allcaps... curls up in ball

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You shouldn't have done that...

[–]MrTwabbles 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hey WILL you do this for me?

Damn names that are helping verbs. I feel your pain man.

[–]ericdjobs 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah I read somewhere that you can hear/respond to your name even in a crowd of many people talking loudly.. with your name only being spoken at a normal volume. Supposedly name recognition for your OWN name takes place in a totally different part of the brain than other speech recognition? Something like that, maybe a priority system? I really have no idea. Good question for askscience.

[–]bhindblueiz 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hooch?

[–]KellBell- 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hooch is crazy!

[–]DavisTheRedditer 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My 8 year old daughter watches sponge bob and I think if she saw that she would shit her pants.

[–]IRcitizen 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

N'uh! You're a Fish!

[–]Megadanxzero 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

For me it's more like stay perfectly still, listen harder, and pokerface.jpg

[–]cg4l 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No, that's just me normally.

[–]kbb5508 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]rauz 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Imagine how it feels if your name is identical to one of the 100 most common words in your language. I've learned to not react anymore.

[–]WhizzIer 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is so crazy! At a house party i can hear someone saying my name fron the room 2 next to the one I'm standing in.

[–]ZenStoner 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

oh my god you're right! That's so crazy :D

[–]jibcage 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

For some reason I read this to the tune of the JG Wentworth viking commercial.

[–]Friendlyvoices 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"The fuck?"

[–]goodnewsgorilla 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My name is 'The' so I deal with this on a pretty regular basis.

[–]eggjuggler 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hmmm... I think I'm more "paranoid parrot" when I overhear my name. Sad times. =/

[–]PedalSpikes 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Now imagine if you're name was 'Guy'. Infinite confusion and frustration.

[–]Bazofwaz 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I can't help but notice that he dances to every song imaginable.

[–]artichoke_dip 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I might have cried just a little bit

[–]CakiePamy 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

All.the.time. And I yell out " I HEARD MY NAME, YES? IS ME? YES? I HEARD MY NAME!!" Until someone tells me why they said my name.