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WTF

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Now this is definitely the best thing I've seen on a porn site to date. (26.media.tumblr.com)

submitted ago by sstteeff

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[–]Vagynamite 81 points82 points ago

Let me play you the song of my people.

[–]exelmans 8 points9 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X_Ot0k4XJc

[–]kitschyk 34 points35 points ago

This (among many other reasons) is why I always washed my hands thoroughly after working on my customers' guitars...

[–]zublits 14 points15 points ago

As well you should. I used to play mine in the nude all the time. After wanking too.

All that cock slime.

[–]arktouros 11 points12 points ago

To be fair, she wasn't playing it right.

[–]gotrocks 2 points3 points ago

playing naked is the best way to play... take that as you will.

[–]ziorjen 4 points5 points ago

I do the same when fixing customers' computers.

Edit: wording.

[–]HittingSmoke 0 points1 point ago

among many other reasons

List seven.

[–]kitschyk 0 points1 point ago

  1. Dirt/dust
  2. Rust
  3. Sweat
  4. Solder
  5. Chemicals
  6. Grime on fretboards
  7. Sick customers

[–]Mattdaddy 1 point2 points ago

smelled my hands

FTFY

[–]hellbat2 5 points6 points ago

Yucky

[–]FallenAlex 83 points84 points ago

Slow Ride

[–]VitaminDprived 5 points6 points ago

Brilliant.

[–]Killershadows 4 points5 points ago

And it actually goes on beat!

[–]SirArseToucher 2 points3 points ago

Made my night sir an upvote for you.

[–]Dcornelissen 1 point2 points ago

this is epic.. I can only imagin she used this song to keep the rhythm.

[–]SinisterCanuck -1 points0 points ago

TO THE TOP PLEASE

[–]jaquez_the_toad 67 points68 points ago

Found it!

http://xogogo.com/videos/10825/teen-fucking-guitar-amp;-bottle.html

[–]afkobaya 28 points29 points ago

Doin the devil's work son

[–]veils1de -5 points-4 points ago

god's work*

[–]Todomanna 0 points1 point ago

Buddha's work*

[–]thisisworkofgod 1 point2 points ago

[–]doctor_badmind 1 point2 points ago

But....

[–]vertigo42 -4 points-3 points ago

was hoping you were a santorum novelty account. would have been hilarious if you were.

[–]KingKazuma 6 points7 points ago

What? No sound?

[–]a_can_of_solo 2 points3 points ago

very often stuff recorded from cam sites is without sound.

[–]hypnotoadglory 2 points3 points ago

she has an awesome body

[–]vanuhitman 2 points3 points ago

Fascinating. This must be studied.... For SCIENCE!

[–]Calpa 1 point2 points ago

Pointier than I expected.

[–]danoll 1 point2 points ago

I'm just imagining the sharp edges of bottle's lid.

[–]sstteeff[S] 1 point2 points ago

THANKS :D

[–]FretsALot 2 points3 points ago

Maybe I missed the internet guidebook, but how do we know this is ≥18 teen and not <18 teen?

[–]180gr_PainTrain 3 points4 points ago

Day before birthday = even thinking about it is perverted.

Day after birthday = break out the gag ball.

It never ceases to amaze me how 'normal' that rapid 24 hour change is in our social consciousness.

[–]scoobyduped 1 point2 points ago

Sounded more like legal concern to me.

[–]180gr_PainTrain 0 points1 point ago*

Of course it is, no rational person would abide to this lack of logic without there being state authored punishment for failing to comply. ie: it's totally bat-shit insane at every level.

It's still completely normal and accepted by the vast majority in our culture without a second thought, which is the frightening part.

The most sexually mature person I've fucked was 17 at the time (as was I) and there have been twenty-x year olds who I wouldn't sleep with for the emotional damage it would have caused, people develop at completely different rates, always.

[–]FretsALot 0 points1 point ago

When the police of the future are finally able to access an exhaustive database of every single human's psyche and can point out on a bar graph which alleged victim has been truly and deeply scarred by their exploitative photographer versus which one is emotionally mature enough to handle riskier sexual behaviors, then we will have a far more nuanced view of where to draw the line on violation of 'minors.'

Until that day, I will defer to the rule of 18.

[–]180gr_PainTrain 0 points1 point ago

Obviously the law serves a necessary function, however, there is far less acceptability of the obvious grey area than there should be.

By that I do not mean strictly that it's ok to fuck 16 year olds sometimes, I mean that it's often wrong to fuck 20 somethings even though the law says buck up and ride.

Final point: laws which try and drive morality punish too severely and too lightly all at once.

[–]FretsALot 1 point2 points ago*

It's also likely that individual people do not develop in a purely linear fashion, as if the older you get the more abuse you can take. Maybe one person could have a gratifying sexual experience at 13, but because of specific circumstances at age 23, s/he would find the same act repugnant.

EDIT: I don't think we can expect more from the law than estimations of justice. It is more probable that legal minors will be traumatized by sex than legal adults. That's what they're going by, a rough probability.

[–]180gr_PainTrain 0 points1 point ago

Totally! It's a tricky thing though, especially with the destructive nature of a sex crime to a persons life (both parties)

I don't think an estimation of justice where Sally gets a couple years of moderate emotional pain for a mistake she should have avoided at 16, while 30 or so other people may go to prison and have their lives and careers ruined because they downloaded the video of Sally's mistake, is really good for anyone.

I get it though. You can't always find and punish the person behind the camera, but we've proven that punishing the viewers doesn't deter the producers in the slightest, so really it's simply there for the illusion that we're accomplishing something worthwhile... in reality, we are not.

[–]HittingSmoke 0 points1 point ago

Considering we can hook someone up to an MRI to determine if the stories they are telling are from memory or imagination, I'm fairly sure we could do this with current technology. It would just take a lot of testing and research.

[–]MrMackay 2 points3 points ago

That has always sketched me out a little too. I guess we just have to trust the internet?

[–]FretsALot 3 points4 points ago

trust the internet

If only there were some kind of emoticon that I could use to adequately respond.

[–]zhegoggles 2 points3 points ago

If only there were some kind of emoticon that I could use to adequately respond.

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Good_Guy_Graig 1 point2 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

ಠ_ಠ

[–]EvilAce -1 points0 points ago

That's what a guy gets for putting in the extra effort to be clever. I used to think the comments on porn sites were so dumb because of a correlation between the type of person who comments on porn sites and dumb people. I've been realizing lately that it's not so simple. It seems to be that there is a window around when people watch porn, during which their minds don't work as well(seems to coincide with the duration of their horniness). It could be that the chemicals released in one's brain from arousal/pleasure also mess with your thought processes and make you behave similarly to when on drugs. fascinating stuff. Anyway, I suspect that's why you not only misunderstood his joke and replied to it, but got more upvotes than the joke itself. In a normal Reddit thread, you would have gotten 17 downvotes and 8 people saying "WHOOSH!"

I feel like this post sounds mean, but I'm not trying to make fun of anyone. It's not unusual for a person to misunderstand a joke; hell, I do it all the time. It doesn't say anything about a persons intelligence. I'm just remarking at the number of people who also didn't get it and upvoted you. Also I'm a little stoned right now.

[–]HittingSmoke 0 points1 point ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]MrMackay 0 points1 point ago

Pretty much what I was going for.

[–]MildlyInnapropriate 1 point2 points ago

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but there is a girl fucking a guitar over there, and you're talking about age over here? People are going to have questions. Sometimes you have to take the lemons life gives you, and just enjoy them.

[–]FretsALot -1 points0 points ago

I guess this is old news at this point, but the reaction I've gotten so far is: jerking is worth the risk.

Is it?

Are there any statistics on the volume of highly suspicious searches and views of determined illegal images before internet users are investigated/arrested? Is the above example, if the girl can be proven to have only been like 16/17, a gray area that police or the FBI would not be too concerned over as long as a user does not have thousands of clearly illegal downloads on his/her hard drive or thousands of clearly worded searches (i.e. 'preteen + sex')? What is the fucking limit of acceptability here?

Goddamn this Kafkaesque nightmare.

[–]MildlyInnapropriate 0 points1 point ago

There really isn't a limit as long as it's questionable. And this video has been hosted on credible porn sites for years. You're fine.

[–]HittingSmoke 0 points1 point ago

Given diseases that can accelerate aging, makeup, cosmetic surgery, etc. literally anyone in porn could be under 18 unless you're only watching porn from big-name web sites with videos produced by a major studio where the legal age documentation is easily accessible. To sit and speculate about every video that could contain under age people is ridiculous. I could find ten dozen on the Youporn front pages alone that could be questionable.

tl;dr: STFU and fap.

[–]FretsALot 0 points1 point ago

Doesn't sound totally unreasonable but does sound like speculation. Any stats or info on who actually gets investigated/arrested and for what activity specifically?

[–]gotrocks 0 points1 point ago

fuggit, fap.

[–]your_dads_gay_lover 0 points1 point ago

not saving this for later.

[–]well_clearly 0 points1 point ago

I kinda cringed in anticipation of the bottle to shatter. That would be a prime time show at the emergency room.

[–]ohrllyowl 0 points1 point ago

All I could think of while she was using the bottle was jar squatter... :( The internet has even ruined porn for me

[–]Valaman 17 points18 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIjZE4kcg_Q

[–]Lockski 9 points10 points ago

Why did the gif go perfectly to that tune?

[–]226392 0 points1 point ago

FTFY

[–]Valaman 0 points1 point ago

Because it's just that good...

[–]chivesthelefty 6 points7 points ago

And that, my friends, is where babies come from.

[–]darklooshkin 2 points3 points ago

Sound babies.

[–]Max_Beezly 5 points6 points ago

someones been visiting too much lemonparty.org

[–]God_is_a_dick 2 points3 points ago

The girl was the second thing I noticed after I visited that site.

[–]DiegoFuego 4 points5 points ago

The above gif is of John petruccis conception

[–]ShyHero 6 points7 points ago

Oh, do that's why they call it an "axe wound"

[–]bakonydraco 7 points8 points ago

http://wetriffs.com/

[–]Kind_compliments 4 points5 points ago

So metal.

[–]contextsdontmatter 2 points3 points ago

CLAM JAM

[–]maxwelldemon13 8 points9 points ago

found it

[–]AwkwardBrandon 36 points37 points ago

Do you have another link? That site says adults only.

[–]180gr_PainTrain 2 points3 points ago

i get jokes

[–]outtathaway 4 points5 points ago

No way... Washburn CS-780... I have that guitar... good to know it has this effect on the ladies!

[–]robbdoozle 3 points4 points ago

USE THE OTHER SIDE.

[–]curvy_lady_92 6 points7 points ago

..ow..

[–]Scur63 2 points3 points ago

Anyone know the source? I wanna see what else happens

[–]contextsdontmatter 2 points3 points ago

CLAM JAMMIN'

[–]duck_butter 1 point2 points ago

Jammin' the Salmon

[–]MFchimichanga 4 points5 points ago

Source?

[–]AverageToaster 1 point2 points ago

http://motherless.com/AC17D00

[–]Scur63 1 point2 points ago

A glass bottle as well?! Just imagine the atrocities if that glass broke inside of her!!

[–]AverageToaster 0 points1 point ago

Never look up 1 man 1 jar

[–]AcBoober57 1 point2 points ago

accidentally up voted...glad I did. we live in a wonderful world.

[–]MindInsurgance 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, but can she play it?

[–]AmazingTROLL 3 points4 points ago

nope

[–]IEatRamen 1 point2 points ago

http://xkcd.com/305/

[–]Rainieri 1 point2 points ago

There's always a relevant XKCD.

[–]gotrocks 0 points1 point ago

ALWAYS.

[–]Sir_Beret 0 points1 point ago

always?

[–]gotrocks 0 points1 point ago

you read me.

[–]darkscream 1 point2 points ago

I've seen better; there's a video out there of a girl fucking a replica of Frostmourne (the sword that the Lich King uses from World of Warcraft).

She fucks the hilt all the way up to the handguard.

[–]MildlyInnapropriate 0 points1 point ago

Find it. Find it now. Oh my god.

[–]darkscream 2 points3 points ago*

http://motherless.com/B150C59

Warning, it might really be the best thing you'll ever see in a porn.

[–]MildlyInnapropriate 0 points1 point ago

My only regret is that I have but one upvote to give. You should stand proud today, as you are a god among mere mortals.

[–]your_average_dyke 1 point2 points ago

Kinda reminds me of the weird shit I used to do when I was just starting puberty and not sure how to masturbate. Alas, I came of age before the internet and with no one to tell me what a girl is to do when she gets the first crazy sexual sensation. . I knew I was horny and had no idea what to do. It didn't help that at the time I was unaware that sex involved penetration of any kind. Oh lawd. .kids have it so easy these days.

I wasn't humping guitars, but . .I did some weird shit.

Cool story, sis.

[–]undowhatisdone 0 points1 point ago

Yep.

[–]vetch222 0 points1 point ago

Go oonnn...

[–]miscmantheman 1 point2 points ago

Not sure if she's A minor... but I would love to get some fingers on her G-string.

[–]GrimReaperPeaches 1 point2 points ago

I laughed, have an upvote.

[–]ecmmyers 2 points3 points ago

I don't mean to strike a chord, but I don't think the was properly instructed.

[–]darklooshkin 2 points3 points ago

Ah, leave her be, she's just giving in to her bass instincts.

[–]FlyingBaconizedWhale 0 points1 point ago

At least give her some credit. She didn't use the G-string.

[–]Chazboski 1 point2 points ago

This is exactly why I declined the flying v body style

[–]noodlequeen 1 point2 points ago

I hate to be that girl, but this was definitely on the comments section of another post...nonetheless, it's hot. source, maybe?

[–]krusader42 1 point2 points ago

I'm going to assume you saw the same comment I did, in which case it was the same poster for both.

[–]masterbates 0 points1 point ago

Queen of the power chord.

[–]CiD7707 0 points1 point ago

My friend recommends a warwick rock bass.

[–]v0ided 0 points1 point ago

this is what you have come to 2012. I'm proud.

[–]PrincessRida 0 points1 point ago

That is sexy.

[–]milkentofu 0 points1 point ago

I see what she did there...

[–]ch0och 0 points1 point ago

Oh! I'm sure someone's gonna top that. fastest I've ever clicked the comments link

[–]ThirdTimeRound 0 points1 point ago

Alternative Title, Girl Takes Axe In The Vagina NSFW/NSFL

[–]CaptainHeff 0 points1 point ago

That's dedication to the show

[–]mr_frostee 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of a Hendrix lyric.

[–]NiccoHel 0 points1 point ago

Someone finally took Gimli up on his offer.

[–]Callmewolverine 0 points1 point ago

Don't do that to Gaben

[–]Emma_936 0 points1 point ago

http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/qaek0/

[–]herenowpowwow 0 points1 point ago

Damn, she's jammin'

[–]WeWereBears 0 points1 point ago

The only way this could get any better is if she was soloing at the same time!

[–]AphureA 0 points1 point ago

Am I the only one that has wondered what happens if she knicks her clit on the nearby string? Seems like something you REALLY don't want rubbing there.

[–]redeyespecial 0 points1 point ago

Needs more cow bell!

[–]danoll 0 points1 point ago

Oops. Looks like she broke her G string

[–]Real_Zeppelin 0 points1 point ago

Amazing!

[–]Turok1134 0 points1 point ago

I wish my dick was a guitar now.

[–]SubyReeves 0 points1 point ago

Level 99

[–]JaronK 0 points1 point ago

Relevant XKCD...

[–]buckybone 0 points1 point ago

I see someone has an axe to grind...

[–]smek2 0 points1 point ago

You mean today.

[–]Wesabbal32 0 points1 point ago

looks like someone else also falled for searching lemonparty.org

[–]halftone84 0 points1 point ago

By porn site, you mean after seeing the Facebook post about lemonparty you checked it and saw that on the left ?

[–]sayrith 0 points1 point ago

now that's

puts on sunglasses

music to my ears.

[–]hell_in_a_shell -2 points-1 points ago

come on man this was just on 4chan! At least credit what you shamelessly copy!

[–]MildlyInnapropriate 0 points1 point ago

There is a woman fucking a guitar, and you're a worried about reposts?

[–]hell_in_a_shell 0 points1 point ago

I'm not worried at all...I'm actually more aroused lol.

[–]twinkyhouse 0 points1 point ago

If this was just on 4chan, it wasn't OC there, either. Even if it was, what, "credit to 'anonymous picture taker'"?

[–]Hebjuzeb -2 points-1 points ago

Holy crap, you went back in time and took a screenshot of my teenage mind? (yea, that rhymes!)

[–]Lollipopsicord 2 points3 points ago

No, It doesn't.

[–]Hebjuzeb 0 points1 point ago

How do you figure?

[–]Lollipopsicord 0 points1 point ago

I assume you're talking about "time" and "mind." Neither of those words rhyme; "time" rhymes with "lime", and "mind" rhymes with "kind".

[–]Hebjuzeb 0 points1 point ago

You're being too pedantic, particularly for a comment about a girl sticking part of a guitar in her vagina. Listen to some song lyrics; not only is it unnecessary for the last syllable to be exact, it gets boring if you do that every time. (PS, it's a triple rhyme: time, mind, rhyme.) PPS, six comments on that? I'll never understand reddit.

[–]doctor_badmind 0 points1 point ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Hebjuzeb 0 points1 point ago

What? Why are you looking at me like that?

[–]doctor_badmind 0 points1 point ago

That doesn't rhyme. Maybe if you were Shakespeare I'd let you get away with it...

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