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top 200 commentsshow all 229

[–]blacksteyraug 411 points412 points ago

He couldn't even get 3 girls? He is really dedicated to this 2 thing.

[–]zug_zug 356 points357 points ago

This has been on reddit so many times and determined to be a shop every time.

[–]Scouted 601 points602 points ago

Yeah about a dozen women have been removed!

[–]Chocolate_Plasmid 122 points123 points ago

Gabe ain't even mad.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 35 points36 points ago

Actually it was only one. The third one's nowhere to be seen for some reason.

[–]goeraz 33 points34 points ago

Well, his stomach seems rather too big not to have a human being in it.

[–]rAmrOll 81 points82 points ago

+4 months

[–]Softcorps_dn 27 points28 points ago

ლ(゚Д゚ლ) OH COME ON

[–]yangx 24 points25 points ago

GODDAMNIT GUYS!

[–]poptart2nd 3 points4 points ago

no, it's ok! it's not a fat joke! goeraz was implying that all his "fat" was not actually fat at all, but another human wrapped underneath his skin!

[–]Dannybaker 2 points3 points ago

Why do I see you in every front page thread oh god

[–]homercles337 13 points14 points ago

Its believable because Newell is wealthy.

[–]Jaerdo 2 points3 points ago

1.5 BILLION dollars according to forbes.

[–]DoctorWSG 0 points1 point ago

I think I saw him at South Beach when I was there.

Along with all of the other rather rotund billionaires with a woman on one arm whilst wearing a speedo.

[–]hannibl 2 points3 points ago

I can tell by some of the pixels.

[–]mystifire2 0 points1 point ago

:(

[–]ds8k 0 points1 point ago

And yet it always gets to the front page.

[–]NotMitten 0 points1 point ago

"he has how much money?"

[–]travisestes 0 points1 point ago

No, hookers

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

Not hookers. Porn stars. Pantyhose porn, more specifically. Izzy from pantyhoseaddict.com to be exact. Fat guy is one of their "fans" they posed with during their get-together in Vegas. Not fake.

[–]rabbitlion 1 point2 points ago

Gabe Newell's face has been photoshopped in, that's what's fake about it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Hmm... not just some fat guy that looks a lot like gabe? Ugh... I gotta stop getting on reddit while drunk. Scumbag brain...

[–]travisestes 0 points1 point ago

Sounds legit...

[–]flaystus 0 points1 point ago

Was gonna say that looks like Vegas.

[–]psychotronofdeth 122 points123 points ago

old and fake

[–]xVerified 117 points118 points ago

Like The Bible.

[–]FestistheFestis 217 points218 points ago

SO BRAVE.

[–]not_legally_rape 43 points44 points ago

Yeah, it takes so much courage to be an atheist on Reddit.

[–][deleted] 59 points60 points ago

Whoosh!

[–]not_legally_rape 35 points36 points ago

That went right above my head and just plowed right into my feelings. ='(

[–]kyurah -2 points-1 points ago

Where do you keep your feelings if they're above your head?

[–]not_legally_rape 4 points5 points ago

I'm hanging upside-down on a tree so above my head would be my heart.

[–]Jrodkin 5 points6 points ago

[–]FestistheFestis 2 points3 points ago

That be the joke sir.

[–]Homeschooled316 22 points23 points ago

www.biblegateway.com

Proof that the Bible is real. The whole thing is right there. Also, my sister's Bible is sitting across the room from me. Looks plenty real from here.

Checkmate, atheists.

[–]3vi1 0 points1 point ago

Carbon dating shows those bibles to be less than 25 years old, and netcraft says the website is less than 15. So, FAAAAAAAAAAKE.

Checkmate, non-FSM-believers.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

Not fake!!! The chick on the right is Izzy from pantyhoseaddict.com. The chick on the right is her "friend". They had a running habit of doing non-porn stuff in public while wearing pantyhose (going to a baseball game, for example). Ill find some more of this set for you. I've seen it. Izzy likes to take her models to Vegas and pose with (fat guy) fans. Im jealous, to say the least.

Trust me, I've been looking at pantyhose porn longer than id like to admit.

[–]SpeakerForTheRead 6 points7 points ago

but its not actually Gabe

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Yeah... im a derp. Missed that point. its definetly not Gabe

[–]RalphMacchio 1 point2 points ago

You can tell its fake by the absence of hover hands.

[–]Fakk 4 points5 points ago

Bring me solo!

[–]FeculentUtopia 25 points26 points ago

Let's play a game. It's called 'Spot The Millionaire'. 3... 2... 1... GO!

[–]topherwolf 68 points69 points ago

Use a "B" instead

[–]SBringer 81 points82 points ago

Let's play a game. It's called 'Spot The Millionaire'. 3... 2... 1... BO!

I don't think that works......

[–]legion02 28 points29 points ago

Shit, you scared me.

[–]justonecomment 1 point2 points ago

Boo, not Bo.

[–]MeesterGone -1 points0 points ago

sure it does. 3...2...1...Go! bwhah!

[–]EpicJ 16 points17 points ago

Gabe is a Billionaire

[–]Dooby_Skoo 10 points11 points ago

Valve only launches a few games a year.

This statement is correct in Valve time.

[–]Armonster 0 points1 point ago

I think you should just start at 2... they never made it to 3.

[–]dgx 19 points20 points ago

Oh Gaben my big bear <3

[–]RebelinNeedofCause 6 points7 points ago

3 months!!!

[–]PaulPaulPaul 15 points16 points ago

There are 3 people In this, it's a fuckig sign

[–]Atersed 22 points23 points ago

Gabe counts as two.

[–]entpenguin 14 points15 points ago*

What's a few more months of waiting, anyways...

[–]the_goat_boy 2 points3 points ago

Gaben will surely deliver...

[–]PaulPaulPaul 3 points4 points ago

Half Life 4

[–]herpty_derpty 12 points13 points ago

Looks like those ladies read Forbes...

[–]lllama 6 points7 points ago

Or they really really want to have early access to EP 3.

[–]Mariokartfever 5 points6 points ago

GABEN NOOOOO

WIFE AND KIDS

[–]Skvid 5 points6 points ago

Produce computer games. Acquire bitches.

[–]A_Nihilist 6 points7 points ago

No hoverhands, Gaben ain't no bitch.

[–]Chaotix 3 points4 points ago

WOW he's big! I didn't realize... He needs to get in shape. I'd hate to have him die before HL3 is released. PRIORITIES man!

[–]finalaccountdown 1 point2 points ago

oochee doochee, solo. jabba chewbacca ha, ha, ha...

[–]Maxpowers01 1 point2 points ago

FAKE

[–]tidox 1 point2 points ago

It's a repost from a while ago plus it's not even him it's photoshoped on an old threat they have a real pic.

[–]Super_Human_Samurai 1 point2 points ago

damn, he's big.

[–]Badlilone 1 point2 points ago

Dear Gabe,
Please lose some weight. If you do not lose any weight, I will continue to worry about your health in fear that you will die and stop running a great company that makes great games.
All the best, Badlilone

[–]Frident 1 point2 points ago

Is Gabe in Chris Chan cosplay?

[–]Sonichu 0 points1 point ago

My father is a maja' playa', to the extreme!

[–]skeptix 3 points4 points ago

That's the iBar at the Rio. It is this ridiculous little mini-club on the gaming floor. The whole gimmick is that the tables are computers with touch screens. There are applications to interact with the patrons at other tables.

I know this, not because I ever stepped foot inside, but from walking past it on the way to Pho during the WSOP.

[–]DrPeteVenkman 0 points1 point ago

I saw this and instantly knew this. I was wondering how ridiculous that I knew it so quickly, but I have also spent many nights/weeks at the Rio during the WSOP. Friends/co-workers always ask me places to go and stay at in Vegas when they go because they know I have spent so much time there, but little do they know I just spend all of my time at the Rio and the Bellagio.

[–]skeptix 0 points1 point ago

I'm mid-stakes tourney player, so I jet between Rio and Venetian (I fucking hate the Venetian taxi line with a burning passion).

[–]Isolder 4 points5 points ago

I'm really wondering why Gabe doesn't try to thin up. He's got enough money and time in the world that he could take a number of month's vacation or hire a very personalized trainer that could get him set.

There's just no excuse for his obesity short of one of those never-can-lose-the-weight medical conditions.

[–]GuysImLost 1 point2 points ago

But if he starts working out, HL3 will never be released.

[–]DBuckFactory 1 point2 points ago

Honestly, losing weight is 80% diet and 20% exercise. Exercise just adds that extra help to the caloric deficit. He could easily drop 150 lbs (estimation as I don't know how tall he is or how much he weighs) in a couple years just by changing his diet alone. Check out r/loseit if you want to learn more about weight loss. I dropped 40 lbs (twas my goal) in about 3.5 months. Some people on loseit have lose hundreds. Crazy stuff!

[–]redditspice 2 points3 points ago

money makes those panties drop!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

Are those chicks straight outta the 80s?

[–]bersh 0 points1 point ago

No, the strip club.

[–]grackychan 0 points1 point ago

The one on the right does porn.

[–]Maniak82 4 points5 points ago

Money !

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]TheRMF 25 points26 points ago

Erecting a dispenser

[–]Frokost 6 points7 points ago

Teleporter going up!

[–]twitchMAC17 1 point2 points ago

[–]bersh 6 points7 points ago

It's actually a crowbar.

[–]NotAnybody 1 point2 points ago

I don't think i'm going to go back and look. Thanks for the heads up though.

[–]rstaubach_12 1 point2 points ago

In the proverbial words of Kanye West "Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger (When Gabe is in Need)"

[–]thesink 1 point2 points ago

No hover-hand? Has to be shopped.

[–]GJOP 1 point2 points ago

Soon you will learn to appreciate me.

[–]Physicsdummy 1 point2 points ago

They want his HL3

[–]ahmacrom 1 point2 points ago

"Women will go for a guy regardless of looks , if he has money."

"Men will go for a woman, regardless of looks , or money...."

Something a cab driver told me while I was in Vegas.

[–]TwEE-N-Toast 0 points1 point ago

Women will also go out with a guy they find exciting.

[–]ahmacrom 0 points1 point ago

That is the reason that my now wife asked me out....lol. I should add that I do not agree with the sentiments of that cab driver...

[–]ne0n_valkyrie 1 point2 points ago

r/upskirt

[–]esecarlosotondo 1 point2 points ago

He has his own gravity, girls can't leave.

[–]EndOnAnyRoll 1 point2 points ago

So that's the reason for the big weight of the HL3 release.

[–]redeyespecial 1 point2 points ago

I think I found Waldo.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]DaMountainDwarf 3 points4 points ago

It's a fake picture, bro.

[–]Kendown 1 point2 points ago

He must be really, really rich.

[–]UNBR34K4BL3 1 point2 points ago

he is

[–]Chimpanseeyoulater 0 points1 point ago

A clue for the HL 3 release?!

[–]Repealer -3 points-2 points ago

Gordon freeman (newell) gets with Alex Vance (Left bitch) and the white doctor bitch (Right Bitch)

You player freeman, you player.

[–]Undertow_Jambi -1 points0 points ago

Fuck Mossman, I hope she dies.

[–]esrevinu 0 points1 point ago

Looks like the Rio in Vegas.

[–]yosoyelalex 0 points1 point ago

i was going to say planet hollywood...

[–]esrevinu 1 point2 points ago

I stayed there for a conference a few years ago. That's in the iBar: http://www.vegashipster.com/blog/microsoft_surface_at_the_rio_ibar

[–]yosoyelalex 0 points1 point ago

indeed, you are correct!

[–]IaintgotPortal 0 points1 point ago

I found a disturbing lack of knifes

[–]stuckatworkstill 0 points1 point ago

you are talking about the girls right?

[–]spaceboundmonkeys 0 points1 point ago

Fuckin guy.

[–]stahlgrau 0 points1 point ago

Who under 60 still wears panty hose?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Im actually very suprized all you smart redditors think this is fake. Pantyhoseaddict.com REAL.

[–]mikeywhatwhat 0 points1 point ago

yup, Gabe can afford hookers.

[–]MurderManTX 0 points1 point ago

fucking reposts...

[–]piepsam 0 points1 point ago

Nice looking hookers.

[–]karma_is_for_losers 0 points1 point ago

bitches aint even hot

[–]kirkoswald 0 points1 point ago

scumbag redditor: complains about repost... upvotes anyway

[–]soundslikemyx 0 points1 point ago

Is Gabe really that fat?

[–]Sinavestia 0 points1 point ago

This is what he's doing while I am waiting for my Half Life?

[–]Underpants_Away 0 points1 point ago

Nope, eat their pussys....

[–]msrtard 0 points1 point ago

hey its fat robin williams

[–]Jrodkin 0 points1 point ago

Snorlax used Charm!

[–]tehangryhoboz 0 points1 point ago

That's so Gaben.

[–]UltraMegaMegaMan 0 points1 point ago

FOOD ENERGY SOURCE ACQUIRED! BEGIN ASSIMILATION!

[–]KingTurkey2012 0 points1 point ago

[–]inshead 0 points1 point ago

Good Guy Gabe

Goes to Casino

Drinks Water

[–]miraclemike 0 points1 point ago

he's HUGEEE

[–]wombatmacncheese 0 points1 point ago

This kills the prostitutes. But seriously Gabe, way to go.

[–]Pr0b0t 0 points1 point ago

FTFY: Like a Gaben

[–]Icebear8 0 points1 point ago

i wanna be that guy =(

[–]ThePieWhisperer 0 points1 point ago

Welp, now we know that Gaben dresses left.

[–]terriblemothra 0 points1 point ago

its not hard to get bitches when you got billions

[–]Underpants_Away 0 points1 point ago

Sup Bitches! I can do that thing you want me to do.

[–]bersh 0 points1 point ago

What's that? Pay them?

[–]Underpants_Away 0 points1 point ago

Nope, eat their pussys

[–]shags3379 0 points1 point ago

Gaben: Why stroll when you could roll.

[–]Vimaser 0 points1 point ago

GabeN to the girl on the right "Let me play with your portal and I'll show my Half-Life 3"

[–]GelatinousBooze 0 points1 point ago

I don't respect fat people.

[–]kenallen09 0 points1 point ago

Here's the website it's from (NSFW): http://www.pantyhoseaddict.com/

[–]Unomagan 0 points1 point ago

Where the money is, there is love

[–]Sandvicheater 0 points1 point ago

Are they Las Vegas whores or club sluts?

[–]sarpedonx 1 point2 points ago

They're ladies that Gaben will take out to a nice seafood dinner and never call again

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

The girl on the right... under her left wrist... is that... Jackie Chan peeking out from her skirt?

[–]GlitterLamp 0 points1 point ago

He's starting to eat that one chick's face.

Gaben is the inspiration for head crabs, apparently.

[–]MultiNationalUnited 0 points1 point ago

DM;HS

[–]robin1961 0 points1 point ago

Um, we all love Gabe, but jebus! he needs to lose weight! That or we won't have long to enjoy his genius. Bariatric worked wonders for Peter Jackson....just sayin'.

[–]niblot1 -2 points-1 points ago

That one on the right has a white person's face but a black person's legs!

[–]blueberryjamoutlaw 2 points3 points ago

pantyhose

edit: actually, her arm looks a little weird too. Or is that a shadow...

[–]X-Craft -1 points0 points ago

Is anybody here surprised by seeing this? Because I'm not.

And this will keep getting reposted until Gabe Newell becomes irrelevant here, so that means until the end of time.

[–]abeztoz -1 points0 points ago

MONEY! time to milk that fat bitch

[–]ender4171 -1 points0 points ago

I guess no one ever told him about the dangers of horizontal stripes.

[–]AdVanc3d -1 points0 points ago

Damn, Gabe is expanding fast.

[–]filthgrinder -1 points0 points ago

My god he is fat.

[–]mattloch666 -1 points0 points ago

They're called escorts. They get paid, gents. If you gave the one on the left 500$ she'd probably shit on your face if you asked her to.

[–]genecrazy 0 points1 point ago

You sound jealous.

[–]mattloch666 0 points1 point ago

Naw. I already have someone who'd shit on my face for free if I asked nicely.

[–]mattloch666 0 points1 point ago

Also.....reality

[–]SimonWest -3 points-2 points ago

like a fat fuck with money. not a boss

[–]GlowingImpact -3 points-2 points ago

Holy shit he is a fat fuck.

[–]ProfessorCaptain -2 points-1 points ago

Repost older than life

[–]Catsmacking -2 points-1 points ago

Ew.

[–]purpleOranges -2 points-1 points ago

More like Java the Hut

[–]PreauxChoice 1 point2 points ago

Jabba*

[–]purpleOranges -1 points0 points ago

I was hoping to get a bigger eyeroll than that.

Making fun of the Nerd World's Fat Man of the Year whilst fucking up in a Nerd reference akin to calling Link Zelda. Can't say I didn't try!

[–]gslance -1 points0 points ago

That's his wife and daughter. :)

[–]Xysten -1 points0 points ago

You spelled "Rich Guy" wrong.

[–]thisonepost1 -1 points0 points ago

100% no hoverhand

[–]jvardrake -1 points0 points ago

It's amazing how perfectly he matches the shape of Humpty Dumpty. In fact, if he doesn't go as Dumpty for Halloween, it's a tragedy.

[–]Paradon -1 points0 points ago

Gaben

[–]mcdavie -1 points0 points ago

You know why there aren't 3 floozies around him?

[–]Marckoz -1 points0 points ago

The pinnacle of alpha male-ism.

[–]jdubs610 -1 points0 points ago

Well they're in Vegas so they're obviously hookers...

[–]megazen -1 points0 points ago

Gaben is a famous billionaire, he can get the hottest babes of the world everyday.

[–]AznEn4cer -1 points0 points ago

This looks like Cache Creek!

[–]weiga -1 points0 points ago

Everybody loves Koolaid.

[–]huertern -1 points0 points ago

anyone can pay two hookers to let them put an arm around

[–]sarpedonx -1 points0 points ago

Anybody know what casino this is?

[–]GazelleShaft -1 points0 points ago

Like a john.

[–]Rawsheeve -1 points0 points ago

OH GABEN!

[–]dogphishinhead -1 points0 points ago

no hover hands. damn

[–]BagatoliOnIce -1 points0 points ago

That's why there's no Half-Life 3. He got rich and now he's livin' la vida loca...

[–]prattable -1 points0 points ago

He is their boss.

[–]thatgamerguy -1 points0 points ago

You can do better Gabe!

[–]Aravan -1 points0 points ago

not-love10.jpg

ಠ_ಠ

[–]ButterscotchYo -1 points0 points ago

Whose the Snorlax?