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top 200 commentsshow all 280

[–]jellystone 251 points252 points ago

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If everybody held hands around the Earth's equator, most of them would drown.

[–]ohlookmonkeys 156 points157 points ago

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if you put one piece of bread anywhere on Earth and another exactly geometrically opposite of it, you've made an Earth sandwich.

[–]lifeformed 64 points65 points ago

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exactly geometrically opposite of it

The technical term is "antipode".

[–]GilliganMuscaria 16 points17 points ago

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For the lazy.

[–]halike 41 points42 points ago

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For the really lazy.

[–]gosslot 1 point2 points ago

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Almost New Zealand..

[–]steakandbjcakeday 5 points6 points ago

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I learned something new today and the sun isn't even up yet. Thanks!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]stillalone 4 points5 points ago

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my office window

You rich bastard.

[–]northdancer 9 points10 points ago

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fuck off with your brain talking

[–]indefort 13 points14 points ago*

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It's been done!

(Edited to include link)

[–]nebstr 3 points4 points ago

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*citation needed

[–]indefort 2 points3 points ago

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If I were in a snarkier mood, I'd make you a LMGTFY link. But instead, I edited my post.

[–]fuzzymumbochops 3 points4 points ago

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For the confused

[–]poiro 2 points3 points ago

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I refuse to accept their attempt asa successful earth sandwich as they used a baguette but didn't account for the orientation of the two pieces

[–]infinitevariables 1 point2 points ago

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Diametrically opposite.

[–]sirJackHandy 47 points48 points ago

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One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me if the equator was a real line that went around the Earth, or just an imaginary one. I had to laugh. Laugh and laugh. Because I didn't know, and I thought that maybe by laughing he would forget what he asked me.

[–]MonkeeSage 7 points8 points ago

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This is what's wrong with America people! LEARN to use a map! Equator is a South American country fighting against Joseph Kony!

[–]gDAnother 15 points16 points ago

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surely in theory if you did it right everyone could hold on to each other with almost no effort and not drown?

in the same way if you get people in a circle everyone can sit on each others lap

[–]Advertisements 29 points30 points ago

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I am sure some idiot who can't swim will fuck it up for everyone.

[–]gsd4w5 4 points5 points ago

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Let's see, if the equator is 21.3% on land, if we put the young children, elderly, and aquatically challenged there, maybe we could do it?

[–]themauwinator 23 points24 points ago

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By aquatically challenged do you mean blacks?

[–]iEatBlackPeople 4 points5 points ago

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Oohh...where are those blacks you speak of?

[–]gDAnother 1 point2 points ago

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which is why i said in theory, also it would have to be all connected up at the same time, while people have another means of standing on top of the water. so theoritically i assume its possible, but to actually make it happen is beyond impossible

[–]Advertisements 8 points9 points ago

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If we used the money spent in Iraq on scuba tanks, floaties and hand interlocking devices we could potentially accomplish it.

[–]ANotherDREW 4 points5 points ago

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Not the worst presidential plan I've heard. Congrats. I think you have a shot.

[–]GilliganMuscaria 1 point2 points ago

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Advertisements for President! ...oh, wait.

[–]hiima 2 points3 points ago

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Which is possible. right?

[–]blood_muffin 7 points8 points ago

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Yes I have tested it.

[–]Celsius232_777777778 1 point2 points ago

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you clearly are unaware of circle-jerks (i.e. jerks who sit in circles and don't let others into their clique)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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If by "almost no effort," you mean being able to resist compression created by ~22.8 million people (5'9" or 1.75m arm span) being pulled in to the earth. . . then yes!

[–]DarthRiven 1 point2 points ago

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If everybody held hands around the Earth's equator, you better hope no-one has a contagious disease

[–]Bijan641 1 point2 points ago

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I would be interested in finding out the straight line (circle?) that would minimize those causalities.

[–]Planet-man 49 points50 points ago

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Not if they had spacesuits, dumbass!

[–]Intolerance 21 points22 points ago

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Planet-man knows his shit.

[–]Serai 9 points10 points ago

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somebody should promote you to captain

[–]slayer8a 118 points119 points ago

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Each of those 11 elephants are approximately 35,000 miles long as depicted. I'm calling bullshit on this one.

[–]BanditoRojo 49 points50 points ago

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Judging from the size of the inaccuracy in question, I will have to call elephantshit on this one.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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[–]BanditoRojo 4 points5 points ago

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Ha ha ha ha ha. And narrated by Stephen Hawking. Tears are rolling from laughter.

[–]gotnotimeforthis 5 points6 points ago

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The term bullshit can work if said shit came from a male elephant; bull. If it was from a female elephant it could be called cow shit. It's sometimes difficult to tell the difference. However it is NOT recommended to be in the immediate area. Take my word for it.

[–]BanditoRojo 2 points3 points ago

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I shall heed such advice and steer clear of bull elephant shit.

[–]elephantpoop 2 points3 points ago

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will I suffice?

[–]slayer8a 4 points5 points ago

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To clarify my doubt of the accuracy of the statement stated. Average Earth to Moon distance is 384,400 miles. Divided by 11 is 34,495 miles. I didn't use the scale of Earth or the Moon as a reference point since that is only the artist's rendering and not a true photograph from space. I think it's a globe.

[–]whencanistop 24 points25 points ago

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Given that an average elephant up to 3.5m long (according to this) we can safely assume that there should be about 110,000 elephants. Maybe each elephant in the picture actually represents 10,000 elephants. All dead.

[–]deadskiesbro 2 points3 points ago

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According to my calculations, 202,963,200 elephants is the correct number.

[–]alexanderwales 1 point2 points ago

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Incorrect! Some of the elephants would still be able to breath, at least up until the stratosphere. Approximately 14,000 elephants would still be able to breathe. This does not take into account the ability of the elephants to use their trunk for extra distance.

[–]Quazifuji 1 point2 points ago

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They are also orange and appear to be two-dimensional and faceless.

[–]ContractionsAreEvil 1 point2 points ago

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*kilometers

[–]cartopheln 1 point2 points ago

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In a vacuum, elephants expand.

[–]dontspillme 1 point2 points ago

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WA doesn't have many elephantine measurements, but this is as close as I could get:

9.9 x 109 elephant eyeballs

[–]bowlofcantaloupe 1 point2 points ago

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Each of those 11 elephants IS approximately... FTFY

[–]slayer8a 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks. You're correction is appreciated.

[–]NotReallyFromTheUK 261 points262 points ago

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This is from tumblr, let me find the site.

EDIT: http://fakescience.tumblr.com/

Seriously, it's been three hours. You should provide the source or ask someone else to post it.

[–]ThatsSciencetastic 26 points27 points ago

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[–]ZGiSH 83 points84 points ago

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I don't understand how this is fake science though, I mean... they WILL die or at least most would.

[–]mrnicelupe 90 points91 points ago

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Not all of them, just most of them. You've got to account for the fact that some of them would still be in the atmosphere.

And space elephants.

[–]that_that_that_that 82 points83 points ago

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The ones in the atmosphere would probably be crushed by the weight of the others on top of them, though.

[–]mrnicelupe 91 points92 points ago

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Reddit, where more people care about physics than space elephants.

[–]jettrscga 23 points24 points ago

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Stupid space elephants shitting space shit on our logic!

[–]Scurry 3 points4 points ago

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How many elephants can you stack on top of each other before the bottom one gets crushed?

[–]t39charles 10 points11 points ago

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1 or 2 would do fine, i believe.

[–]slightlyanonusername 2 points3 points ago

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It's true! Elephant legs can barely support even their own weight. Sometimes they need a little prop up.

[–]steakandbjcakeday 1 point2 points ago

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If I had a penis that big I'd probably use it as an additional leg just for the hell of it. Think of what a great party trick that would be.

[–]Gullfisk 1 point2 points ago

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I somehow find this "Neat nature fact" to be a lot more intriguing than the actual post. Oh wait.. it mentioned space elephants!

[–]muyuu 1 point2 points ago

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Female elephants can withstand a male elephant humping on them, so maybe more than 1.

[–]Quintuss 2 points3 points ago

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Welcome to Elephant Facts - Did you know that elephants use their ears to aid ventilation and they are one of many mammals who cannot live in the vacuum of space.

[–]rutterkin 5 points6 points ago

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But wouldn't they gradually become weightless as they approach space? I guess the atmosphere at a certain point would not be breathable, though, so it's tough to say without knowing the details whether there's a proverbial sweet spot between relative weightlessness and lack of oxygen.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

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You do not become weightless just by going into space. Yes, the farther you go from a body, the less gravitational attraction there is, but it's still significant and nowhere near zero. You become weightless by falling, and since the elephants would be stacked, they would not be falling, and thus--not weightless.

[–]rutterkin 13 points14 points ago

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Thanks. I am way out of my league here.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Celsius232_777777778 3 points4 points ago

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but if the elephants were holding trunk to tail, and were carefulyl positioned between the earths gravitational pull and a foreign gravitational pull (for example the Moon), then they could theoretically float between both objects allowing the elephants in the lower atmosphere to survive with oxygen and without being crushed to death.

therefore this is entirely plausible.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah you're right. If it was tall enough to be relatively close to the moon, and the stack would necessarily have to be pointing toward the moon (or sun or whatever else, but moon is closest), at some point an elephant would be weightless. Though I think that no matter what, the elephants on the bottom would definitely be crushed. I mean, even if the very top is weightless, you've still got like a hundred thousand miles of elephants on top of you.

[–]gwhlives 1 point2 points ago

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Okay but we are going to need to build a movable base for the bottom elephant to move all of them counter to the rotation of the earth so that the entire stack can remain pointed at the moon for any period of time... This would also counteract the centrifugal force created by the rotation of the earth mentioned earlier.

[–]Celsius232_777777778 3 points4 points ago

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no but my point is that by balancing ALL the elephants between the gravitational pull of Earth and Moon, then ALL the elephants could be floating and not touching either surface. Essentially the Moon would be pulling all of the elephants toward Moon, and Earth would be pulling them all towards Earth...thereby making them balance in mid-air/space.

It would probably be a delicate balance, but it should work. I have yet to see anyone prove this theory wrong.

[–]idiotthethird 4 points5 points ago

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Ah, no. The elephant at the midway point is holding up every single elephant below it. Far more than enough force to tear it apart.

[–]chancesarent 3 points4 points ago

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It's time to build this elephant space elevator of yours. Do you know any zoo or refuge officials by-chance?

[–]I_Has_A_Hat 1 point2 points ago

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No because they would need to have air friction to stop it, so imagine if only the ones with dumbo ears survived you would have selected for only that gene... i lost where i was going with this something about a bilmp...

[–]ElectronicDrug 1 point2 points ago

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But it says laid end to end, not stacked.

[–]adaminc 2 points3 points ago

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All of them, it says in space.

[–]Spo8 2 points3 points ago

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Most would die, but god have mercy on our souls when the survivors make it back here.

[–]Sventertainer 1 point2 points ago

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I thought of that too....but remember they have several tens of thousands of other elephants stacked on top of them. This would render the elephants remaining in the atmosphere quite squished.

[–]throwaway_lgbt666 1 point2 points ago

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elephants are pretty big I don't think they would die straight away

[–]markerz 3 points4 points ago

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Cannot be experimentally tested and replicated by enough reliable sources.

[–]Hobbes4247791 3 points4 points ago

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This is empirically the best thing ever.

[–]royalscowlness 2 points3 points ago

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3 hours?

You've finished Monopoly before. I just know it.

[–]bitch_im_a_lion 1 point2 points ago

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That cat purring one was posted to reddit a week or two ago. Everyone was talking about how stupid whoever made the poster must be. I'm laughing at their stupidity now.

[–]SexPredator 13 points14 points ago

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Did you know that if you put your ear up to someone's leg and listen really close, you can hear them say "What the fuck are you doing?"

[–]Potchi79 1 point2 points ago

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Comment goes good with your name.

[–]philge 7 points8 points ago

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Reminds me of Look Around You.

[–]MangoMonger 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks philge. Thilge!

[–]tuxy29 6 points7 points ago

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[–]I_Hold_Up_Buses 4 points5 points ago

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How neat is that?

[–]Potchi79 3 points4 points ago

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You can tell it's an aspen tree because of the way it is!

[–]BanditoRojo 33 points34 points ago

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Newt Gingrich plans to build an elephant corpse bridge to the moon.

[–]WarPhalange 24 points25 points ago

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If I ever get to name a bridge, I will definitely name it "Elephant Corpse Bridge".

[–]KyroDCK 7 points8 points ago

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I'd walk across that bridge. I'd walk across that bridge so hard.

[–]hemlockecho 2 points3 points ago

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dot tumblr dot com.

[–]cameljockey19 2 points3 points ago

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NO!

[–]mybasicusername 11 points12 points ago

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Wouldn't the elephants that are still in the atmosphere still be alive?

[–]jadoth 20 points21 points ago

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they would be crushed by all the elephants on top of them

[–]Doctective 0 points1 point ago

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Unless the chain started on the another planet.

[–]TheBB 7 points8 points ago

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It doesn't matter if you slide under a boulder or if a boulder falls on top of you. You'll get crushed either way.

[–]249ba36000029bbe9749 14 points15 points ago

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Hello! And thank you for subscribing to Elephant Facts!

[–]88scythe 5 points6 points ago

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How the fuck do you remember your username?

[–]WaterLion 20 points21 points ago

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It's just 1 more than 249ba36000029bbe9748

[–]ethzilla 2 points3 points ago

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Neat!

[–]ComoImports 2 points3 points ago

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Meh

[–]UnicornPumaShark 2 points3 points ago

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Where is that irrelephant dude when you need him?

[–]irrelephant_facts 7 points8 points ago

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This topic is totally relephant. Boobies though are completely irrelephant!

[–]thatunoguy 2 points3 points ago

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You don't say.

[–]JakJakAttacks 1 point2 points ago

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The more you know....

[–]Advertisements 1 point2 points ago

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2/10

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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The average length of an elephant is 21 feet, according to this photo there is 11 elephants on earth, that means the distance between earth and the moon is 231 feet. I'm no rocket surgeon but i dont think this picture is to scale.. can anyone confirm?

[–]ChiselSturms 1 point2 points ago

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This is neither neat nor is it really a fact.

[–]Metanalysis_Man 1 point2 points ago

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Did you know that elephants used to be called nelephants, but over time, so many people misheard "a nelephant" as "an elephant", that eventually the word was replaced. It's a process called Metanalysis http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metanalysis

[–]Gorbane 1 point2 points ago

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Did you know, that if you took all of Mr. T's chains and laid them out. . .

he will beat your ass.

[–]kaiwolf26 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks for signing up for elephant facts! You now will receive fun daily facts about elephants!

[–]joshbike 1 point2 points ago

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[–]ViviFFIX 1 point2 points ago

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[–]McTalko 1 point2 points ago

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Naturalist here, I can confirm that I am nude.

[–]TimTheConnMan 1 point2 points ago

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[–]TrustfulElephant 1 point2 points ago

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I´m sure this would turn out awesome. Come on guys, lets do it!

[–]MrToastyTurtle 1 point2 points ago

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No one else thinks that its an elephant deathstar?

[–]6xoe 1 point2 points ago

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THIS SORT OF EDGY HUMOR IS WHY I TURN TO REDDIT FOR LAUGHS

[–]jonaheim88 2 points3 points ago

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False: the bottom of the stack wouldn't die.

[–]RileyWon 6 points7 points ago

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FALSE; surely the weight of their brethren would crush them

[–]jonaheim88 1 point2 points ago

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someone needs to find out how much weight an elephant can carry..for science!

[–]nibbling_totoros 0 points1 point ago

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I demand to know where these studies were conducted!

[–]rambler1 0 points1 point ago

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Is this Japan's proposed plan for the space elevator?

[–]linkrobin 0 points1 point ago

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Interesting, but imagine if all of the elephants were wearing space helmets? I then ask you: Would they then die?

[–]ParAvion 0 points1 point ago

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Literally just watched this documentary/dissection of an elephant. Really neat stuff.

[–]Shogouki 0 points1 point ago

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I admit that one made me laugh out loud. XD

[–]plan3s 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't know that, thank you captain!

[–]dragontail 0 points1 point ago

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This...made me smile a huge grin...

Fuck, I really don't know why.

Maybe because it was clever.

[–]YoshiDan 0 points1 point ago

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Surely not ALL of them? What about the ones still within the Earth's atmosphere ?

[–]RobnessCumba 0 points1 point ago

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Elephants are my favourite animals.........they don't belong in space. Although I wish no ill will to them I wonder what it would look like to see an elephant decompress in space. Surprised no one has mentioned that one little scientific fact in here. GOOD JOB REDDITARDINIOS!

[–]auron_py 0 points1 point ago

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well, i didn't take that in consideration

[–]Jackstick 0 points1 point ago

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Not all of them. At the very least, the one elephant on the Earth's surface would survive.

But yeah, the rest would be screwed.

[–]TheJediJew 0 points1 point ago

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This theory is UNTESTED! It must be done! FOR SCIENCE!

[–]madmanmunt 0 points1 point ago

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“If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.” ― Dorothy Parker

[–]Vonyx 0 points1 point ago

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A centiphant? Or maybe an Elepede?

ಠ_ಠ

[–]producer35 0 points1 point ago

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Elephants, how do they work?

[–]cooldrew 0 points1 point ago

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SCOTT. Draw more comics.

[–]The_IV 0 points1 point ago

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If everybody on Earth jumped at the same time, we would all propably die of the eartquake that comes...

[–]aaron666nyc 0 points1 point ago

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ALL 11 THAT ARE LEFT! whatevs- space ivory is the new black

[–]Godranks 0 points1 point ago

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Downvoted for poor sentence structure. It has "fact" in the title, but then uses the word "imagine". Tsk.

[–]TheAmateurGig 0 points1 point ago

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Awww, come on, now I genuinely want to know how many elephants it will take to line up to the moon.

[–]michaelswallace 0 points1 point ago

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Finally, robotic beings rule the world! http://youtu.be/WGoi1MSGu64?t=1m21s

[–]SaturnVI 0 points1 point ago

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Not all of them would die...

[–]callum8881 0 points1 point ago

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Fun Science Fact: If you took every vein and artery in your body and lated them out end to end, you would die.

[–]crizto 0 points1 point ago

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[–]TChuff 0 points1 point ago

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The elephants that are within the earth's atomsphere would live. But then they'd fall back to earth so they'd die anyway. Except the first elephant. He'd just fall over, but since wasn't up that high, he'd live.

[–]elephantsrcute 0 points1 point ago

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Dead elephants ARE NOT CUTE

[–]HARRRR 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks for signing up to Elephant Facts! Did you know....if we took every elephant in the world and laid them end to end in space...all the elephants would die! Isn't that elephantastic? To unsubscribe from Elephant Facts text STOP to 32052.

[–]voidsessi0n 0 points1 point ago

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Sounds like someone has been signed up for elephant facts...

[–]Inky_musty 0 points1 point ago

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Not if we fitted them with elephant sized space suits.

[–]ostrofci 0 points1 point ago

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fact if this is on the front page in the number one spot again i will kill myself

[–]Kenitzka 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you for signing up for neat nature facts....

[–]sethborders 0 points1 point ago

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I saw this on facebook before reddit... MY WORLD HAS BEEN TURNED UPSIDE DOWN

[–]zzzzop 1 point2 points ago

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thats not true! THATS IMPOSSIBLE!!

[–]zorkie 0 points1 point ago

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Vital information for everyday life..

[–]Matosawitko 0 points1 point ago

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Fun fact: my company has 50 employees. If you laid us all end-to-end, we'd be a lot more comfortable.

[–]Metaluim 0 points1 point ago

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False. Everyone knows elephants survive in space. Who do you think holds our discworld, besides Great A' Tuin?

[–]dasmi3 0 points1 point ago

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Elephantcentipede?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Actually nothing dies in space, they just don't want us to escape :P

[–]jcash21 0 points1 point ago

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Also known as the "Elephant Centipede".

[–]Ygaiee 0 points1 point ago

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This is so good that when I say it outloud, without the picture, it works. Well done.

[–]Mr_Spiffy_Pants 0 points1 point ago

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Imagine if we took every moody manatee on earth and lined them up to the moon. Did you know they'd probably need several additional years of therapy?

[–]Scorcho25 0 points1 point ago

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Gorilla glue

[–]Myers3979 0 points1 point ago

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Except for the elephants still within habitable distance from Earth's ground.

[–]daman345 1 point2 points ago

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probably be crushed by all the other elephants

[–]Streon 0 points1 point ago

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Sign me up for ElephantFacts.

[–]BrandonToddCarr 0 points1 point ago

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I'll be signing up for these on my phone.

[–]killer_tofu89 0 points1 point ago

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[–]notreallyswiss 0 points1 point ago

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This reminds me of Dorothy Parker's quip (unfortunately unillustrated), "If all the girls at the Yale prom were laid end to end I wouldn't be surprised."

[–]munny1997 0 points1 point ago

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I see what you did there

[–]sparkplug49 0 points1 point ago

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Alec Baldwin would be pissed

[–]mteezy 0 points1 point ago

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The science gods have spoken

[–]AlixTengusa 0 points1 point ago

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The more you know!

[–]mongster2 0 points1 point ago

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[–]elephantpoop 0 points1 point ago

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nooooooooooooooooooooo save the elephants!!!

[–]aggietau 0 points1 point ago

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[–]stone500 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Stomo 0 points1 point ago

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You don't say?

[–]paranoidray 0 points1 point ago

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why is this being upvoted ?

[–]Joyful_Pilgrim 0 points1 point ago

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I like these Neature facts, when im taking my neature walk.

[–]Alex_the_Link 0 points1 point ago

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deep

[–]TheGovernator 0 points1 point ago

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It was really hard to hold in my laugh in the middle of class.

[–]Honkeypuss 0 points1 point ago

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Did you know that elephants' testes are located in their backs near their kidneys?

[–]spacepirate1941 0 points1 point ago

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Sounds like a science fact from GLaDOS

[–]Mad_Sconnie 0 points1 point ago

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This is actually a nice piece of graphic design. I kinda want to make a poster out of it.

[–]ExtraDip 0 points1 point ago

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How many "you don't say" pictures will this get?

[–]Stripedcheese 0 points1 point ago

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Someone should have written the Nicolas Cage meme on that.

[–]Mattis4000 0 points1 point ago

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Sounds like something Cave Johnson would say

[–]future203 0 points1 point ago

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one of my favorite jokes my pastor tells: "If you took all the people that fell asleep in church and laid them end to end, they'd probably be a lot more comfortable"