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all 83 comments

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

Or: Apply sunscreen to face. Forget to apply to knees.

[–]IndecisiveDC[S] 11 points12 points ago*

My knees are the worst. Pants hurt.

[–]RealEstateNovelist[!] 5 points6 points ago

My boss never falls for this when I show up without pants.

[–]justalurker89 0 points1 point ago

I always thought feet were the worst... Then again I don't think I've sunburned my knees.

[–]IndecisiveDC[S] 0 points1 point ago

Thankfully I was wearing water shoes, so no sunburn there. But it's about the only thing I can be thankful for about this. Why in God's name didn't I wear sunscreen? SO much pain.

[–]justalurker89 5 points6 points ago

I've always been such a pale child, so I learned to sunblock fast and sunblock often. Better safe than sorry.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

I do that too, putting on another layer after swimming. The basic 8' river kayak covers my legs and feet with shade while I'm sitting in it, but being 6' I can't extend them all the way, so my knees poke out. Until at some point I'm thinking, "Someone's cooking up some meat somewhere"

[–]PirateMud 0 points1 point ago

Floating around in the swimming pool... "Woah, burns! Time to swim the other way up."

[–]macadactyl 0 points1 point ago

I just actually did this, kayaking, at walmart they sell an aloe gel, put that on real thick, it wont hurt, your skin will just feel tight til it starts peeling off in 4 days or so.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]INeverUpvoteMyself 0 points1 point ago

Thats not the same as downvoting yourself.

[–]SouthPads 3 points4 points ago

Reddit hard mode.

[–]INeverUpvoteMyself 1 point2 points ago

This is my porn account. So its pretty hard.

[–]justalurker89 0 points1 point ago

I did, I almost always do, I feel weird upvoting myself :p

[–]withnailori 0 points1 point ago

How did you manage to burn your knees? No spraydeck?

[–]SyncOne 1 point2 points ago

Or shoulders. I went swimming for an hour and a half with my friend at the lake near my house last summer. Face... bit red, no biggie. Shoulders? Bubbling sun poison. Any touch was extremely painful. I went out to dinner with same friend and some of our other friends, just putting on a seatbelt was painful enough... and then he forgot about my sun poison and slapped me on the shoulder.

[–]traken 0 points1 point ago

and then he forgot about my sun poison and slapped me on the shoulder.

I instinctively punched someone in the face for doing that to me once. They didn't even get mad (and I hit like a girl).

[–]JBChalupa 0 points1 point ago

Forget to apply to back of hands. Back of hands get sunburned.

[–]tofuwaffles 0 points1 point ago

I ALWAYS FORGOT THE FUCKING KNEES!!!!!

[–]stupidcambridgeguy 37 points38 points ago

That picture is so awkward. I think you made a hue mistake.

[–]IndecisiveDC[S] 38 points39 points ago

[–]aeroxan 1 point2 points ago

[–]canehdianchick 0 points1 point ago

so corny ... I wanted to downvote... and last minute changed my mind.

[–]iamesauce 5 points6 points ago

HEY EVERYONE, JUST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING, CANEHDIANCHICK THOUGHT THIS POST WAS CORNY, WANTED TO DOWNVOTE IT, BUT THEN CHANGED HER MIND

[–]canehdianchick -1 points0 points ago

you captured my essence in a bold print lame post :) congrats

[–]IndecisiveDC[S] 9 points10 points ago

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points ago

Oompa, Loompa, Doopity do

I've got a little kayaking hint for you

White people burn while having fun in the sun

The solution to the problem is not to be white

[–]evoim3 25 points26 points ago

What do you do when you're burned and all red
Sooner realizing you are better off dead?
You'll probably get a freckle or two.
Looks like there's nothing...you...can...do

Maybe you have cancer to.

[–]Bajeezus 5 points6 points ago

I think sunscreen is cheaper than plastic surgery.

[–]twoforno 2 points3 points ago

It's also cheaper than cancer.

[–]larkable 2 points3 points ago

I couldn't figure out how to say this without it sounding awkward in my head...

[–]jakebluu 0 points1 point ago

Haha I'm black.

[–]LestrDaBootyMolestr 0 points1 point ago

I envy your awesome resistance to the sun.

[–]Xizer 0 points1 point ago

On the other hand, he's black.

[–]jakebluu 0 points1 point ago

You're damn right it's awesome.

Once, i fell asleep at noon on a hot summer's* day and woke up at 4 without being charred.

*im not sure if the apostrophe was needed.

[–]vvhale 0 points1 point ago

The day is owned by summer, so "summer's" seems correct in my book.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]jakebluu 4 points5 points ago

We can have parties where we will use excessive profanity!

[–]cowsymbola 5 points6 points ago

I fell asleep on the banks of a relatively high altitude(8000ft) lake with no sunscreen a few years ago. Never again. It was full-body (front and back, I'm a bloody genius). I didn't realize how bad it was until that night because it hadn't really set in yet.

I was physically ill for about a week because of the amount of pain I was in. Lighting depending, you can still see the faint outline of the marks on my back from the straps on my top. I think it's kind of like a sun-scar or some shit. ALWAYS WEAR SUNSCREEN PEOPLE.

[–]StramanamaMama 5 points6 points ago

Congratulations on your new life as a raccoon!

[–]MrD33 5 points6 points ago

Oh man I am standing in your shoes right now; and they fucking HURT!!! Seriously I went kyaking with a friend on Friday and though I put sunsceen on face, neck and hands I didn't think to put it on legs as I have never been burnt there before and I used to ride in the sun 9 hours a day as a bike courier. Today my legs and feet are like oven backed /turkey and hurt like the bajesus.

[–]Kanzaki88 2 points3 points ago

I went canoeing when I was 15, a trip organized by my boarding school. We were doing this all day in order to reach our destination within nightfall. I decided sunscreen factor 5 would suffice. It was just barely 100 degrees that day and at the time I arrived, my arms hurt like I had just done 16.000 push-ups. I asked my teachers for some painkillers and managed to fall asleep after tossing and turning for hours; the pain just intensified. When I woke up, I had about several hundred, tiny little blisters on my arms and they were swollen, red and the pain was absolutely excruciating :( When we got back to the school, I hit the doorframe with my body and immediately it felt like someone had poured hot sauce all over my arm. I looked, and I had tore off a huge square of my left arm's skin and my arm was dripping with the water from the blisters. I could not move this arm for hours, the pain was that bad. Today I still have tiny, barely visible red spots on my arms from those blisters. WEAR SUNSCREEN, PEOPLE. Especially when you're a 15-year old, light-skinned, scandinavian female bookworm. TL;DR Got hundreds on blisters on both arms, tore of a huge area of skin from one arm by accident, had to sit still for hours from the pain.

[–]Today_is_Thursday 1 point2 points ago

My friend did something similar at the beach. She sunbathed for a few hours with only 1-2 applications of SPF 15. She got second degree burns on her legs that led to puss and scabs and everything else beautiful and not at all disgusting. She was banned from the beach for about a year by her mother.

[–]Kanzaki88 0 points1 point ago

Oh God. Yeah it really pays off to slather that stuff on. I banned myself for life to go canoeing.

[–]Today_is_Thursday 1 point2 points ago

Awww but canoeing is so much fun! Just have to either cover up with SPF 50 or long sleeves. I'm planning to go next weekend when the boathouses in DC are open for the season. :)

[–]Kanzaki88 1 point2 points ago

We actually did this at my boarding school twice, so I went a second time when I was 16. That time, both of my arms cramped up bad and my best friend abandoned the tent we were sleeping in, because I was too whiny. Canoeing has scarred me for life! D: Hope you have fun though and don't end up like a Oompa loompa like the op did!

[–]Batolemaeus 1 point2 points ago

Especially when you're on the water. The sun will reflect off the surface and burn you to a crisp.

It is a good idea to bathe in sunscreen..

[–]msuspartan03 1 point2 points ago

The worst man, especially with the sun reflecting off the water for double trouble

[–]cjfrench 1 point2 points ago

Enjoy your melanoma

[–]zpkmook 1 point2 points ago

Real solutions: wide brimmed hat, Zinc oxide sunscreens. All the other ones suck especially long term. Go to EWG cosmetics database. I recommend Badger because you can find it in places like whole foods. Yes it will make you pasty white... But your already white so suck it up. I was reading on a dermatology website whites have an average SPF of 3.4 whereas blacks had 13.4(comparatively). Some antioxidants work well....drink green/white tea, take fish oil, eat ur veggies. I'm personally looking into taking astaxanthin for potential benefit including higher natural SPF.

[–]Felonia 1 point2 points ago

I went to the beach for a similar time period last year. I just gambled one of the three other girls would have sunscreen because I couldn't find mine.

Wrong. I burned painfully. They all tanned.

[–]EmptyOnOutside 1 point2 points ago

If I could offer one piece of advice from the year 2000, it's that you should wear sunscreen. Sunscreen. Wear sunscreen. Seriously though, that "song" makes me feel guilty to this day any time I'm exposed to the elements without having it on - and I live in Las Vegas, so the Sun is pretty common.

[–]newbill123 1 point2 points ago

Huge mistake? It looks like red eye reduction worked perfectly.

[–]OPPS_WRONG_THREAD 1 point2 points ago

Cat on head, oh gosh. Should have worn a hat and fuck the compromise.

[–]HugADeathclaw 0 points1 point ago

The key for me not getting sunburn is not being white. Actually I'm mostly white but the little bit of other keeps me safe.

[–]AFemalePerspective 2 points3 points ago

I am of hispanic descent, what is this sunburn you speak of?

[–]homohomosapien 0 points1 point ago

Jealous.

I'm half Cuban, but my white genes won the draw for melanin production so I'm pale as fuck and I cook like a lobster.

[–]HugADeathclaw 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, I'm a nice tan with really dark hair while my sister is blonde and pale as fuck.

[–]Killasasparilla 0 points1 point ago

I literally just got back from a kayaking trip and all of this happened

[–]BlazingFox 0 points1 point ago

[ Insert "You Don't say?" comment here ]

[–]Vague_Intentions 0 points1 point ago

Did that this week. Except that I climbed Guadalupe Peak (8 hours round trip) instead of kayaking. Definitely a huge mistake...

[–]xMeRcHanDiSe 0 points1 point ago

I know this feeling all to well

[–]mr-nobe 0 points1 point ago

[–]Today_is_Thursday 0 points1 point ago

I went hiking for 4 hrs with SPF 45 today & still feel a little burnt.

[–]Legit_GFX 0 points1 point ago

Sun burns are the worst. I am a really white guy. In 7th grade my friends ex ex put sunscreen on my back. Then 5 a whole day in the sun. I was practically a crapple for the week.

[–]captaincharles 1 point2 points ago

A crapple? Gee, you must have had a shitty time eh?

[–]Legit_GFX 0 points1 point ago

Yes sir.

[–]spinoza15 0 points1 point ago

Been there. Wish i bought the T-shirt.

[–]Jman5 0 points1 point ago

White man's burden.

[–]Kingbeemusic 0 points1 point ago

Sinestro!

[–]shartmobile 0 points1 point ago

Face - check! Shoulders - check! Neck - check! Arms - check!

Lets's roll!! :D

5 hours later............ MY SHINS HURT!

(Don't forget your shins)

[–]iamweard 0 points1 point ago

I went fishing and just sat in the Arizona sun for 14 hours.... It hurts to make a quizzical facial expression.

[–]JBChalupa 0 points1 point ago

I was kayaking on lake superior going about 8 to 16 miles a day and the only places I got sun burned were on my hands. HOLY FUCKING SHIT were they burned.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I have some light scarring on my legs from a river tubing trip that I took without sunscreen. I'm very white, though. The only melanin in my skin is stored in freckles.

[–]bashfulpanda 0 points1 point ago

Go look up the Cinco Tanning System

[–]urutu 0 points1 point ago

I've done that. Vichy makes a hydrating milk. Get it. You'll be much, much happier. Trust me.

[–]Truzzley 0 points1 point ago

You could always not leave the house which would resolve this problem all together, where do you need to go anyways? you have Reddit.

[–]dotamakesmesad 0 points1 point ago

...Mark?

[–]jonysaid 0 points1 point ago

White people problems

[–]ATF_FTW 0 points1 point ago

Arrested Development...nice, nice.

[–]HadesRising 0 points1 point ago

I went kayaking for a few hours today while wearing tanning oil. I am tanner and unburnt. Sucks for you OP.

[–]DOGTOY_ 0 points1 point ago

White people problems

[–]bananaskates -2 points-1 points ago

Yes. You made a huge mistake. The day you took up photoshop.

[–]BIG_CARL_ -1 points0 points ago

Not sure if to down vote for not being funny, or upvote for Gob