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all 132 comments

[–]thirdsigh 79 points80 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]falousco 42 points43 points ago

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Surely I am not the only person who think she screams like R2D2 before falling down? Hilarious.

[–]WITHYOURASSHOLE 4 points5 points ago

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Someone should edit in Anakin yelling "ARR TWO!!"

[–]NotThatRelevant 32 points33 points ago

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She has been struck in the eye...... ಠ_ಠ

[–]firereaction 64 points65 points ago

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x_ಠ

[–]vnkid 21 points22 points ago

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You'd think she would've seen that hit coming considering she has eyes in the back of her head.

[–]davesterist 5 points6 points ago

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Penalty! That bitch is getting a red card.

[–]Billy_Blaze 116 points117 points ago

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I love how she has to ease herself out of the chair to "fall to the ground in pain".

Pathetic.

[–]vnkid 19 points20 points ago

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Some people just have no business faking injuries. At least put some more effort into it.

[–]amosjones 39 points40 points ago

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Vera Robles DeWitt avoids jail for smacking official

For the lazy:Under the settlement, DeWitt agreed to be put in an 18-month diversion program, under which she will pay $1,500 in restitution costs, take 52 hours of anger management classes and participate in 100 hours of community service. A restraining order issued against DeWitt must be resolved in civil court with attorneys for Schaefer.

[–]finallymadeanaccount 36 points37 points ago

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Thank God such a complete monster is getting the help she needs! Until that settlement, none of us were safe!

[–]spermracewinner 13 points14 points ago

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$100 would've done it for me.

[–]Akiba89 13 points14 points ago

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jesus... it was a fucking folder

[–]amosjones 21 points22 points ago

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But there could have been some hurtful things written inside.

[–]SMFishbone 18 points19 points ago

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restitution for what? paid to who? for the few hairs that might have fallen out of Schaefer's head? Makes no sense ...

And not to mention the cost having to hire a lawyer to defend herself, I dunno, I would have like to see this thing go to a trial

[–]amosjones 9 points10 points ago*

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I agree.

Also it's not written very clearly, at first read I thought the $1,500 was to cover the diversion program but reading it over a few times only makes me unsure.

Edit: Just looked up restitution in Wikipedia:

The law of restitution is the law of gains-based recovery. It is to be contrasted with the law of compensation, which is the law of loss-based recovery. Obligations to make restitution and obligations to pay compensation are each a type of legal response to events in the real world. When a court orders restitution it orders the defendant to give up his gains to the claimant. When a court orders compensation it orders the defendant to compensate the claimant for his or her loss

If she had to pay "the victim" that's really fucked up

Edit#2 Going over it again trying to figure it out. I came up with the idea that Schaefer must have gotten medical treatment. Don't have any proof of this but it's the only thing I can come up with.

[–]kaiden333 1 point2 points ago

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Emotional Suffering maybe

[–]icangetyouatoedude 94 points95 points ago

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THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!!!

[–]StickyBombLikeU 303 points304 points ago

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She could've been a great soccer player.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points ago

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That is so easy. SO EASY.

[–]Limpan 37 points38 points ago

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Oh ha-ha.

[–]LazerChicklets 0 points1 point ago

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[–]effkay 15 points16 points ago

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this comes to mind

Afterall, the YouTube description says that: '...Rogers described the blow as a "bip"...'

[–]space-pirate 9 points10 points ago

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[–]JohnQPotamus 25 points26 points ago

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Well, to be fair, the one is white is clearly literally Hitler.

[–]Callumlfc69 16 points17 points ago

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Said it for a while now, Reddit is very VERY fucking hive minded.

[–]lost_in_nature 14 points15 points ago

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No, we're not, fuck off!

[–]mjbfikus -3 points-2 points ago

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Fuck off! We're not, no.

[–]HosanaToYou 6 points7 points ago

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No, we're not, fuck off!

[–]stokleplinger 5 points6 points ago

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No, we're not, fuck off!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Hobbes4247791 1 point2 points ago

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I got it.

... Um... What next?

[–]nipplenommer 1 point2 points ago

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Do you have a light? Here I'll take that.

[–]diggoran -2 points-1 points ago

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No, we're not, fuck off!

[–]TheSteelFire 0 points1 point ago

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No, we're not, fuck off!

[–]RaindropBebop -4 points-3 points ago

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Yes, we are, fuck in!

[–]rk9 -2 points-1 points ago

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No, we're not, fuck off!

[–]Only_A_Username 19 points20 points ago

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The amount of doublethink on reddit is hilarious. We openly embrace the fact that there's a hive mind and make fun of it, but don't you dare go against it or you'll feel the wrath of the interwebs.

[–]pikeybastard 10 points11 points ago

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I think that this is down to two things:

Firstly, stupid people like to argue/shout louder, and maybe downvote and follow downvotes, so often even a reasonable point can drown in downvotes if the commenter/voters establishing the trajectory whip up a bandwagon or establish a critical mass, so that some points worthy of consideration are not dwelt upon.

I also think that it's because there are loads of users on reddit, many or even most of whom are ambivalent, and many lurkers, and only the most committed to an argument/viewpoint (often those who question it least, either in favour of or against an opinion) do the up/downvoting. You see this a lot in things like r/politics, where rational consideration of viewpoints is virtually nonexistent.

[–]RaindropBebop 1 point2 points ago

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I like how your post was downvoted (albeit slightly). Fucking perfect example.

[–]Captain_Majesty 9 points10 points ago

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Damn, she must have been hit hard.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Have you seen the front page? I have little respect for the popular opinion on Reddit.

[–]Aruno 11 points12 points ago

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I read that as popular onion.. :(

[–]bkv 26 points27 points ago

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Looks like r/gaming's reaction to DLC or r/atheism's reaction so prayer.

[–]stokleplinger 4 points5 points ago

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Try arguing the merits of GMO technology next time there's a Monsanto post on the front page.

[–]RaindropBebop 0 points1 point ago

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Hey now, that's not fair: prayer does even less than a manila folder to the back of the head.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago

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I will not have any talk of Mass Effect or this Jesus on my internets.

[–]Cross88 2 points3 points ago

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I remember this. What sucks is the woman who tapped her with the magazine was more harshly prosecuted than Martin Zimmerman. FML

[–]RaindropBebop 2 points3 points ago

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OP IS CIRCUMCISED?

RaindropBebop screams shrilly as he eases himself out of his chair in order to fall to the ground

[–]thejmonster 4 points5 points ago

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They pretend you hurt them? I don't get it.

[–]Zach182 2 points3 points ago

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They overreact immensely if you do/say anything against what they believe

[–]FKRMunkiBoi 0 points1 point ago

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Are you sure OP didn't mean that reddit smacks them down?

The problem with so many of these types of posts are that the OP's generally don't give much context to what their intent was.

[–]bobcat_08 10 points11 points ago*

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Especially the "how I feel being a Christian on Reddit" posts. People completely ignore OP's original point that Reddit shows favoritism, because atheists are the underdogs in an irrationally anti-atheist world, and self-pity reigns over community spirit. After pointing this out, you hear "but Christianity far inferior to atheism raaaawr". To which I respond, "the point is stop being a dick if you want to be called open-minded", after which one inevitably hears the whoosh of massive downvoting, because cognitive dissonance and egotism.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

[–]Thedeadmilkman 1 point2 points ago

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Try liking the ending to mass effect 3. It's a similar situation Haha.

[–]RaindropBebop 0 points1 point ago

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What? Open-minded doesn't mean believing in something without evidence. Nor does it mean respecting bigoted belief structures.

Also, not being a dick is not a prerequisite to being open-minded. You can be perfectly open-minded and still be a douche.

If you want a place where people will respect your belief in fairy tales I suggest you find another venue.

[–]bobcat_08 -1 points0 points ago*

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For somebody who is open-minded and looks for evidence first, you're assuming a lot about me. You think that supporting Christians makes me a Christian, sort of how supporting gay marriage makes you gay. I thought your brand of atheist, the one who believes they're better at life than Christians, would be more measured in their thoughts and not jump to conclusions. But then again, your suggestion that I "find another venue" rings of a cowboy in a bar telling some outsider "we don't take too kindly to your type'a folk 'round these parts". It just proves my point that hardcore atheists are just as bigoted as the Christians they rally against. Score one for hypocrisy on your team.

Funny thing is, there are fundie Christians out there who are much more decent people than your prototypical /r/atheism redditor. And smarter, too. Isaac Newton pretty much believed he was Jesus; how's that for irrational? But he was a brilliant man. Michelangelo was probably very religious, given how passionately he painted Biblical scenes. Atheism is just a point of view. Yes, it's probably more rational than its counterparts. But /r/atheism treats Christians so disrespectfully, it's like they'r second-class citizens. And when I provide a humanistic argument in defense of respecting religious people, I get attacked -- venemously. The matter goes deeper than just a philosophical issue. /r/atheism makes a personal assault on the character of religious people, on the basis that they're religious. Overall it's more reflective of their childish and narcissistic natures than any fault of religion.

[–]RaindropBebop 0 points1 point ago

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First, did I ever claim to be open-minded?

Second, did I ever call you a Christian?

There's really only one conclusion one can draw after you take those assumptions. Christian apologist?

[–]bobcat_08 0 points1 point ago

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Your criticism of the Christian belief structure implied that by comparison you are less bigoted, ergo more open-minded. Maybe your definition of open-minded is different from mine. Second, you said that I should take my fairy tale beliefs elsewhere. Now maybe this is the good ol' Internet obscuring the intention of one's message, but you were referring to me, were you not?

I'm in no way a Christian apologist. I'm not gonna defend a god I don't believe in. Hell I'm more inclined to be an atheist apologist for all the uppity holier than thou atheists. What I do advocate is for atheists to drop that holier than thou bullshit, because they're essentially involved in a big circlejerk that focuses on their minority status and superior intellect. Yes, it sucks that there are still people who think Jesus rode dinosaurs. But how is it supposed to advance the cause of science for atheists to go around kicking sand in Christian's faces? It's shitty PR and it pisses off those of us who want to peacefully coexist with friendly Christians.

[–]stokleplinger 0 points1 point ago

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This is so meta.

[–]RaindropBebop 0 points1 point ago*

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I never once said the word Christian. I also never suggested that I was any more or less bigoted than others. Again you're drawing conclusions from absolutely nowhere. Furthermore, when I said "your belief in fairy tales" I was speaking in general (i.e., any person who reads this and believes in fairy tales), not to you specifically -- although I can see how that might have been confusing.

What I do advocate is for atheists to drop that holier than thou bullshit, because they're essentially involved in a big circlejerk that focuses on their minority status and superior intellect.

You know what's the fucking circlejerk? People saying "I'm an atheist and all, but /r/atheism is a circle jerk, you guys should stop acting like you're better for not being delusional and bigoted. Just because you're rational doesn't mean you can poke fun at people who believe that a bearded man in the sky is watching over their every move."

No atheists believe they are "holier than thou", because frankly, they don't believe that anything is "holy". Are some atheists are douchebags? Sure, but there's a subset of douchebags in every population.

Yes, it sucks that there are still people who think Jesus rode dinosaurs. But how is it supposed to advance the cause of science for atheists to go around kicking sand in Christian's faces?

How? Because maybe people will wake up after reading a critique about their silly beliefs from an atheist and question their beliefs. Maybe, just maybe it will do some good, and someone, somewhere will become a rational being. Maybe that person will become a politician, and exact rational, secular politicking. Or maybe they'll just realize their hate of homosexuals has no logical basis. Maybe they'll become a better person.

/r/atheism has nothing to apologize for. OH SHIT, THEY'RE MAKING FUN OF YOUR RELIGION AND HOW LITTLE SENSE IT MAKES, SOMEONE CALL THE INTERNET POLICE BECAUSE RELIGIOUS BELIEFS DESERVE RESPECT. If people don't enjoy their content, they can unsub and never visit it again.

It's you people, the ones who complain about /r/atheism is every other fucking subreddit, who are the irritating ones. Talk about "holier than thou".

Finally, I've had many, many great conversations with theists on reddit (in /r/atheism and elsewhere). I've also had many not so great conversations, but that's besides the point. What I'm trying to say is that I don't go into a comment area looking to offend a specific person. If your ego gets bruised because /r/atheism is poking fun at your belief, that's your problem. But if someone wants to politely argue, or offer a counter point I'm all for it. I don't belittle them, I don't harass them, I don't shit on them; and they often reply in-kind. Your warped view of atheists is what really bugs me.

[–]bobcat_08 0 points1 point ago*

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This is an example of what Im talking about. Atheists know perfectly well that being a superior dick to their fellow man isn't going to win any points for their own beliefs. If someone was really going to sit down and question their beliefs, do you think they're going to be inspired by people who make them feel like dirt? It isnt enough that the information is out there, you have to belittle them for not taking it. If your goal is really to help improve your fellow man's quality of life, bullying isn't the way to get him to realize that you're enlightened. It just makes you look like a petulant and vindictive 5-year-old. And the staggering irony is that these atheists don't see the parallel between their own methods and prosletyzing. The problem is that the zealotous atheists I'm talking about take what should be an argument of ideas and turn it into an us vs them issue, hence why Christians get treated like lesser people. But people like that are just looking to tear others down, so that's exactly what they're going to do.

A lot of the atheists on there claim to be respectful and justified in their approach, but still can't seem to keep the condescension out of their tone. You may or may not be like that. What you've expressed to me thus far gives me a clue that you might be, but on the rest I'm just going to have to take your word for it.

Oh, and since you pretty much said I lump all atheists together (which I don't), allow me to remind you that not all Christians are inhumane lunatics. Sure I think they believe in a fairy tale of sorts, and sure they believe selectively, but that doesn't make them the asshole type. Just like being atheist doesn't mean youre wanking to the glory of your own POV's superiority.

[–]RaindropBebop 0 points1 point ago

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What? I don't care about "converting you". Your presumptions are abhorrent, and I intended to make the clear. You seemed to have missed the point again, though.

You seem to think that I claimed to be a perfect being at the beginning of this discussion, or something. I never claimed such a thing. In fact, I even said that being a douche was not a pre-requisite of open-mindedness. And honestly, your position is tired, ignorant, and irritating. It's nothing new, nothing I haven't seen a million times before.

My point is you don't see atheists crying about Christian megalomania on /r/funny or other subreddits. Maybe I should make a point to do so: "Man you guys, you know what bugs me is when those atheists make posts like 'How it feels to be an atheist on Reddit', and people treat them like shit. They never get respect, and people from /r/christianity always comment on how /r/atheism is filled with pompous, zealotous atheists."

Oh, and since you pretty much said I lump all atheists together (which I don't), allow me to remind you that not all Christians are inhumane lunatics. Sure I think they believe in a fairy tale of sorts, and sure they believe selectively, but that doesn't make them the asshole type. Just like being atheist doesn't mean youre wanking to the glory of your own POV's superiority.

The difference is that no atheist is bigoted against, say, homosexuals, women, or minorities simply because of their philosophical beliefs that have no logical bearing on civil rights issues/equality.

And this double-standard of respect is really getting on my nerves. When religious people are spewing bigoted hate-filled shit, they're simply "exercising their faith" or some such bullshit. But when an atheist makes a comment exposing a religious inconsistency, or highlighting facts we're accused of being snobby, militant malcontents. The irony is palpable.

But, by all means, continue on about how /r/atheism should be more respectful. I'm sure our discussion will be enough to exact real and lasting change with those heathens.

[–]bobcat_08 0 points1 point ago

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I think we're talking over each other. Either way I lost my capacity to care about this conversation.

[–]NotAgain2011 0 points1 point ago

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awesome that you're getting down voted for the most rational discussion of atheist vs christian arguments I've ever seen.

[–]ksd275 0 points1 point ago

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I don't see how doing your life's work passionately makes you like the group that pays you to do it. I can just as easily say Michelangelo was probably an atheist spy because the brain anatomy in his work. Check out http://mobile.journals.lww.com/neurosurgery/_layouts/oaks.journals.mobile/articleviewer.aspx?year=2010&issue=05000&article=00001

[–]bobcat_08 0 points1 point ago

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I know that a lot of renaissance artists were subversive with their work. I was thinking more about David and the incredibly focused purpose it must have taken, but if Michelangelo doesn't work there are others.

[–]Subcidal 0 points1 point ago

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GUYS STOP BEING MEAN TO ME!

[–]bobcat_08 1 point2 points ago

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Not sure if sarcastic or aggreeing...

[–]3rdiopenToo 1 point2 points ago

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That's why I say if you're going to hit someone, make sure that shit counts.

[–]lastspec 1 point2 points ago

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What? You liked Phantom Menace! Ughhh! (falls on floor)

WuAHHHHHH UGHGGGGGEEEEEffffffcc. (eyes roll back, starts drooling and pissing everywhere)

[–]Kristanwj 1 point2 points ago

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What's this weird feeling I have.....I've never wanted to punch an old lady in the face before....

[–]scarr83 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah try being a conservative atheist on Reddit. My upvotes came from me uploading a pic of a cat.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I think 300 of mine came from making fun of Liberal Atheists haha. In the end of the day, I don't hate them because they don't believe in god, I hate them because they hate me :(

[–]FinitePhysics 0 points1 point ago

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Head over to /r/Anarcho_Capitalism or /r/Libertarian, I'm sure you'll find like-minded individuals.

[–]scarr83 0 points1 point ago

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You're right. Anarcho is perfect. Thanks!

[–]FinitePhysics 0 points1 point ago

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Glad I could help! :)

[–]necrosynthesis 2 points3 points ago

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Say something marginally positive about Christianity. Say something marginally negative about Islam.

[–]Zaboom 0 points1 point ago

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That was such a ridiculous story. How did it end up? Did that woman actually get successfully sued?

[–]roflocalypselol 0 points1 point ago

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God dammit I hate r/politics.

[–]Shmeves 0 points1 point ago

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I disagree with this

[–]ChargersDen 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of the Spongebob episode where plankton slips and then sues Mr.Krabs.

[–]noddegamra 0 points1 point ago

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See this is the reason we can't have shows like Japan's.

[–]Vhu 0 points1 point ago

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I do not know what's happening here.

[–]Kyleisbeast 0 points1 point ago

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Guys, this video isn't funny, she could have gotten a concussion, or worse, better acting skills.

[–]RabbitSlayer212 0 points1 point ago

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yah, pretty much exactly what happened when i said mass effect 3 ending wasnt awful?

[–]lordxakio 0 points1 point ago

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more like this

[–]Staafmixer 0 points1 point ago

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Schwalbe!

[–]4funsies 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of soccer.

[–]fuckingsuperman -5 points-4 points ago

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Well, it's cause when you think about it. At best the popular opinion is made up of two sides of random internet yahoos, probably some bots. And more zealous internet yahoos with more bots. Then, some god knows what. And then people like me that don't really give a fuck and barely vote and don't really comment much aside from "Sweet boobs" or "Sweet". I mean I do vote randomly, like in comments and shit, but not on the frontpage or anything. Who gives a fuck than really? Anyway.

That's your hivemind, spread that shit on your flowers.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]skullybones 10 points11 points ago

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you're fuckin kidding me right? she CLEARLY taps her with it, so lightly in fact that the "victim's" hair doesn't even move a centimeter. i saw it on tv, too, but all i remember is that the person in front of the room (don't know if he was a judge or senator or whatnot) claimed the "abuser" poked the "victim" in the eye... pricks :|

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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he's full of shit. The incident happened years ago. There was not jail time. There is no place in the US where hitting someone in the head like that carries jail time. A fine, maybe, but not jail time.

[–]vxx 1 point2 points ago

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You would wonder how big the "fine" was.

Watch this guys comment

[–]Ilikepineapplez 1 point2 points ago

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I was laughing my ass off though. They explained why she hit her, but for the love of Science I can't remember. Otherwise I can explain it properly.

[–]sndzag1 5 points6 points ago

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It's quite old.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrtSvCPaygs

This is from YEARS ago. That said, it's still assault. Really, really stupid thing to do, but also a very stupid thing to get punished for. Did she do prison time or get arrested and spend a night in jail? There's a difference.

[–]wilsonism 1 point2 points ago

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She should not have touched the bitch, but that was just ridiculous.

[–]Ratt 1 point2 points ago

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What I don't understand is why this footage wouldn't erase any guilt. I mean, this isn't some video review for sports, you can't get this wrong. People's lives are forever altered by these idiots.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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It did. The op is full of shit.

[–]Sunriseninja 0 points1 point ago

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Citation? I'd be interested in reading more...

[–]Ilikepineapplez 1 point2 points ago

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It was mentioned on the show, if you can find the name of it. I'm pretty sure you'll be enlighted.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

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Oh, you're one of those people who makes things up to sound cool!

This video is OLD. You couldn't have seen it on TV a week ago. And smacking someone in the head doesn't carry jail time ANYWHERE. So please stop trying to earn internet points by pretending you have inside information.

[–]Ilikepineapplez 2 points3 points ago

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It was on a show where celebrities were making fun of stupid videos. It was on a week ago. I'm not trying to be smart and earn points; I was thinking to myself what coincidence it was that I see a part of the video on reddit. I didn't note down the TV network it was on, I'm pretty sure your smart and can find it.

I have no interest in achieving any points recklessly, I didn’t ask anyone to up vote my comment.

[–]Ilikepineapplez 0 points1 point ago*

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I'm sorry your mad, by the way. I was naive enough to believe there are grown people on the internet.

[–]Naldaen -2 points-1 points ago

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And smacking someone in the head doesn't carry jail time ANYWHERE.

Keep believing that sweetheart. This is still assault, which is a crime in every state of our 50 here in the US.

Try poking your finger into a cop's chest or spitting on him. I love it on cops when a guy's getting arrested on some misdemeanor and will be out of jail the next morning, then the dumbshit spits on the cop and goes down for a felony.

[–]ksd275 0 points1 point ago

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Not assault, but battery. Assault is causing someone to fear violence. Hitting her like that could only be battery since she didn't know about it before which means she cannot fear it.

[–]Naldaen 0 points1 point ago

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That's regional. Different states have different legal definitions. Not saying you're wrong though, it depends on what state you're in. Texas has no official legal definition of battery.

Regardless, even if it's not a hard hit, it's still laying your hands or a "weapon" upon someone else. That's assault and/or battery in every state.

[–]Lastaria -2 points-1 points ago

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She would make a good Premiership Football player.