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WTF

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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]bruce656 450 points451 points ago*

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I'd just like to call and ask them to explain this claim. "Exactly how does the mylar shielding prevent noise viruses?"

edit: This appears to be the cable in question

[–]ani625 538 points539 points ago

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"Sir, there are no such viruses. So we can safely say they can't pass through."

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]mattjeast 386 points387 points ago

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The guy saying "specious" in the Google audible pronunciation sure does sound chipper.

[–]dachusa 390 points391 points ago*

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I tip my hat to you sir for taking the time to look up a word for which you didn't know the definition or pronunciation. May your lexicon collection grow larger than your Pokemon collection.

[–]thefirebuilds 23 points24 points ago

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TO VOCABULARY!

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points ago

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I wag my finger at anyone who does not look up words they encounter and do not know the definition of.

[–]nyxin 9 points10 points ago

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Well if they're anything like me, they can generally infer the meaning of thy word based on context. This can of coarse lead to some hilarious misinterpretations.

[–]Quackenstein 6 points7 points ago

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I really shouldn't cop to this, but...

For way too long I was under the impression that there was a word pronounced "myzuld" (best I can do, sorry) which meant sent astray. It wasn't until I had to write the word misled for something that I made the connection between the word I read and the word I used in speech. Thankfully, I never thought to use the "myzuld" word in conversation. As it was, my embarassment was private...until now.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I often infer the meaning first, then look it up. Sometimes I am very glad I looked it up because I may have used it in a way that would make me look completely stupid or sometimes insulting to others.

[–]RemyJe 21 points22 points ago

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Welcome to the team

[–]djloreddit 3 points4 points ago

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that show rocks

[–]DenOfThieves[!] 4 points5 points ago

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Chris Parnell is ridiculous.

[–]Hamlet7768 21 points22 points ago

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Despite the best efforts of some to let the opposite occur.

[–]bobuhbeartoe 48 points49 points ago

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Way to embiggen your vocabulary!

[–]Eustis 12 points13 points ago

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Fabulouuuuuus!

[–]The_Insurance 5 points6 points ago

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Best thing ever.

[–]Immynimmy 181 points182 points ago

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Homer: Woo-hoo! A perfect day. Zero bears and one big fat hairy paycheck.

[opens it up]

Hey! How come my pay is so low? ... Bear patrol tax! This is an outrage! It's the biggest tax increase in history!

Lisa: Actually, Dad, it's the smallest tax increase in history.

Homer: Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.

Lisa: That's home-owner tax.

Homer: Well, anyway, I'm still outraged.

[–]appropriate-username[!] 234 points235 points ago

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If reddit was nothing but simpson's quotes, I'd be OK with that.

[–]MisterCortez 121 points122 points ago

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Upvote for appropriate username.

[–]goodolbluey 9 points10 points ago

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Everything's comin' up Milhouse!

[–]funkgerm 29 points30 points ago

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There's a Simpsons quote for just about anything, isn't there.

[–]purzzzell 41 points42 points ago

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Simpsons did it, Simpsons did it!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]rooktakesqueen 23 points24 points ago*

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Son, if you don't like your job, you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed.

[–]goblueM 17 points18 points ago

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that's the american way!

[–]thefirebuilds 6 points7 points ago

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I PAY THE HOMER TAX. LET THE BEARS PAY THE BEAR TAX!

[–]sierrabravo1984 52 points53 points ago

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Do you see any centaurs running around in your tv? No? Then I guess it's working!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]monkeyhoo 71 points72 points ago

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Lisa, I want to buy your rock.

[–]chipsharp0 23 points24 points ago

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"...and does the sedan also protect against missles?"

[–]SirDerpingtonThe3rd 7 points8 points ago

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it does not.

[–][deleted] 87 points88 points ago

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It's unkown how mylar shielding protects you against viruses. But it's a proven fact no virus ever passed trough a mylar shielded cable.

  • noise viruses only. Effect on regular viruses is unkown.

[–]hollywoodh17 21 points22 points ago

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Ah yes, the old "elephant in the rosebushes" logical argument. A classic.

[–]IIdsandsII 21 points22 points ago

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Do you have any noise viruses? No? Then there you go.

[–]shockzone 15 points16 points ago

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There is some major Troll Science going on there.

[–][deleted] 53 points54 points ago

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I agree, claim that their cable let the viruses thru and it damaged thousands of dollars worth of electronics and they have to replace them because they put a guarantee on the box. Let them either admit the box text is crap, or shell out thousands.

[–]jimsaysdoitthisway 21 points22 points ago

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Problem being that you'd need to provide the damaged items...

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago

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Oh I could come up with some damaged electronics. Let them explain how "viruses" could even break electronics, then we'll worry about how they broke mine.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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It actually is possible for viruses to break electronics, in a computer, anyway, by means of infinitely looping some component until it burns out. I don't know if it's possible nowadays, but this used to be something that could happen.

[–]SirDerpingtonThe3rd 1 point2 points ago

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or by altering the calibrated parameters to make things extend/contract/move past the point of safety i.e. a CD drive spinning so fast that the imperfect flatness of the disc causes it to explode or a read arm crashed into the side of the case or something to that effect.

[–]MoridinIsIshamael 3 points4 points ago

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[–]AlrightStopHammatime 7 points8 points ago

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I kind of figured this was saying it blocked out the little 11 year old fuckhead virus of troll children Xbox Live is flooded with, and I would no longer have to be called a gay faggot who sucks dick every time I killed someone/got killed. Way to get my hopes up, Xbox.

[–]yejinftw 44 points45 points ago

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Sorry if that was said already but it is just a mistranslation of the packaging. (Probably China ?). The word "virus" has synonyms that are used to describe "glitches" on a TV from a poor reception / broken cable. We use "bugs" or "parasites" to describe "interferences". The translator probably misunderstood virus in the context here.

[–]Vincent__Vega 17 points18 points ago

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I would like to call and ask them if they are sure this protects me against virus noise, cause I’m hearing a bit of noise coming out of my speakers. Is there some type of check you can do to make sure the cable is properly protecting me from virus noise?

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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i'd call customer service, say that you just started using the cable, but are still hearing the virus noises.

[–]dollahashbrown 826 points827 points ago

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I work at a Best Buy. I told a customer you don't need to get a $70 cable. Go find a $3 one online and it will give you the exact same quality picture. He tells me, " oh you don't say. Well I usually like getting the best quality picture so I'll just get this $70 one." Whatever you want, man.

[–]Dovina 765 points766 points ago

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Ah, the marketing department's dream customer .

[–]PhiloCojones 434 points435 points ago*

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as a marketer, I wholeheartedly agree with this analysis.

A friend of mine IS this person. When Campbells was touting those "Soup to go" cups a few years back, he went out and bought a dozen of them. He'd sit in his apartment and drink them. I asked why he was doing so when

A) he could get more soup for less money by buying the cans

B) He wasn't actually going anywhere, so there was no time issue with making the soup on the stove.

his answer? "Well, i saw the commercial, then i saw it on display at the store, so i had to try it out." Beautiful.

When poker first started airing on TV and was on display in all the stores everywhere, he bought a full table and a set of chips. He buys the expensive HDMI cables and only brand name everything. He buys video games and completes them in about a week but refuses to switch to a rental service because he "likes having the case and the book."

These are just a few examples. He's a walking case study.

EDIT: He does not make a whole boatload of dough. he's just an average dude making an average income.

[–]gid13 41 points42 points ago

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I drank a few of those in my house. Mainly because it's easy as fuck to make them and you don't have to wash dishes after. Some of us are extremely lazy.

[–]PhiloCojones 34 points35 points ago

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Marketers like lazy people too! People pay a premium for convenience.

[–]gid13 10 points11 points ago

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Yes I do. I'm even happy to do it. I would pay even more of a premium if the convenience didn't imply shitty food so much of the time.

[–]Deuce23 225 points226 points ago*

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The games thing by itself (i.e. not in the context of everything else) is perfectly normal though, some people enjoy building collections of movies/games/stuff.

[–]the_catacombs 97 points98 points ago

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Or replaying the game later. I'm so glad I kept SNES games!

[–]thefoofighters 34 points35 points ago

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I'm so glad I hacked my xbox original, and loaded every emulator and ROM on there.

[–]salimabuaziz 2 points3 points ago

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Was afraid there was going to be a large circlejerk about SNES. I did this to my original xbox and it is still one of my most cherished pieces of hardware. I keep it networked with a large hdd and have every ROM available, can still play xbox games, and can watch any downloaded video easily. I modded it in 2003 and it is still serving me humbly.

Kudos, sadly we are the %1

[–]HollowNinja 18 points19 points ago

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I was going to post this. For every one game I've finished, I have three games I haven't even played (that's an actual statistic I calculated). Many of them are older games that aren't available anymore. I don't sell anything unless I really hate the game.

[–]TimmyIo 9 points10 points ago

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My girlfriend buys all her games and keeps them for nostalgia... and to go back and merk awesome games like Legend of Dragoon and wonder how the hell you beat that game 10 years ago as a kid

[–]ChiXiStigma 7 points8 points ago

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It still blows my mind that I beat Battletoads and Final Fantasy (1) when I was 10. There's no way I could muster the will to do that now.

[–]BAWiggs 4 points5 points ago

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I'm not a big soup person and even if I was, I'd just buy the normal cans. However, I can see the appeal of soup to go. Whether or not you're going anywhere, there aren't any dishes to do and there isn't any other mess to clean up when you're finished. Also, I don't have any idea what the price difference is between the two, but soup is cheap to begin with and I can't imagine that there is THAT big of an increase.

[–]the_catacombs 4 points5 points ago

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It's weird. I used to be like that when I was younger. I'd want to try things for the novelty. Nowadays, I couldn't be bothered to try something unless it confers real benefit. I get more satisfaction in getting great deals and doing more for less than I ever used to get in novelty stuff.

[–]epsilonius 10 points11 points ago

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I don't do the rest of that stuff but I prefer physical copies of games and I don't see why that's a problem, I like getting something tangible for my money.

[–]PastaNinja 12 points13 points ago

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I don't think it's their dream customer so much as the fruits of their labour.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago*

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Ah, yes, the "fucking idiot" is a fine breed.

[–]ohlordherewegoagain 160 points161 points ago

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Former BestBuy slave here, totally sympathise.

I was one of the few who weren't just trying to sell as many add-ons as possible and would always advise the customers to stay away from the more expensive solutions.

Had one very very stupid lady customer who despite me explaining in detail and drawing a diagram of it AND assuring her that her 14yr old son would have no problem setting up the new XBox 360 she was buying... despite all this she insisted on paying for a Geek Squad dude to install it.

An hour and a half of convincing did nothing to break through her idiot shields.

[–]augster 185 points186 points ago

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She must has been wearing some anti-virus clothing to ward off your off your parasitic logic

[–]OldCrypt 19 points20 points ago

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"Mylar" clothing: it makes everything better when you add the material they use on those shiny helium-filled balloons.

[–]nightzirk 18 points19 points ago

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Even though you failed that time, you're a good guy.

[–]Cancerous86 54 points55 points ago*

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That lady is a job creator. Geek Squad guy just got paid another day.

Thank free market Jesus for that old lady and everyone like her.

Edit: The above is a logical fallacy called the "Broken Window" fallacy. I was trying to emulate a conservative in the post above, and it was sarcastic. Please see this post to for an education on why there is no positive effect on the economy as a result of the old lady's actions. I did not fully understand this fallacy when I made this post, and was educated as a result. Just another example of humor ending in education.

[–]DrJingles 12 points13 points ago

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"free market jesus" I will definitely be using that in a sentence today.

[–]salgat 36 points37 points ago

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Unfortunately she is a job killer in the grand scheme of things. She creates demand for unnecessary labor which means her resources are ended up wasted instead of boosting the economy in a more productive manner that would ultimately create more jobs.

[–]Ciceros_Assassin 15 points16 points ago

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Broken Window fallacy.

[–]atlas44 5 points6 points ago

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Oh, crap. I've been breaking windows since the economic crisis started. I thought I was helping!

[–]epsilonius 4 points5 points ago

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you stood around talking to her for an hour and a half about this? I don't believe it.

[–]TheMediumPanda 15 points16 points ago

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3 bucks? Damn, now I feel cheated. Just bought a 10 m one for 20.

[–]diaperedpupp 21 points22 points ago

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I just bought 3 15ft cables for $22.

[–]blaze_all_day 118 points119 points ago*

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And I just saved 15% on car insurance by switching to Geico.

--Edit: Had a derp moment this morning.

[–]InterstellarMom 53 points54 points ago

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And I've lowered my cholesterol by eating Honey Nut Cheerios.

[–]fuyunoyoru 78 points79 points ago

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I've spilled and absorbed more blue liquids since I switched to Bounty!

[–]War_Junkie 53 points54 points ago

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My penis is shaped like a corkscrew.

[–]elorc 12 points13 points ago

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MONSTER CABLE, HURRRRRRRR

It always amazed me how people will believe whatever the Monster Cable packaging and/or the Best Buy sales person (who is clearly trying to make the department accessories quota for the day) tells them.

Major props to you for you not being that obnoxious BBY sales person who is obsessed with department numbers and will say whatever they have to say in order to trick people into buying shit they don't need.

[–]iliketurtlz 11 points12 points ago

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Go find a $3 one online and it will give you the exact same quality picture.

However that's not where the differences in cables will end. I completely agree that a $70 HDMI cable is ridiculous and as a electronics salesman myself, I would never recommend one of these. However, I'm not going to just turn someone away without them understanding the differences between the versions. You can pay ~$5 more for a 6" cable which is going to likely be the v1.4 of HDMI and the $3 is likely a v1.3 of HDMI. I've ran into multiple customers where that was an issue because they needed to have the Audio-Return Channel(ARC) which the v1.3 does not feature. 3D Compatability, built in ethernet, 4k x 2k resolution.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HDMI#Version_1.3

[–]MOS95B 429 points430 points ago

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Noisy viruses are the worst!!!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]down_vote_magnet 326 points327 points ago

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> virus upload initiated

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

> hacking computer database

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

> corrupting mainframe encryption codes

BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!

> deleting  C:\Users\Default\Pictures\Family_Photos

VRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWMMM!!

[–]KennyDeJonnef 157 points158 points ago

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Don't type that shit on reddit, man! Now I have the virus too. Damn. If only I could afford better cables.

[–]moorechez67 19 points20 points ago

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Don't give Monster Cables any more ideas...

[–]alias_unknown 25 points26 points ago

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Sounds like my 56k

[–]IgnoreAmos 7 points8 points ago

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Is that the dubstep virus?

[–]Fr4t 20 points21 points ago

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Those filthy noises. They always drove me nuts.

[–]itmakesnosenseanymor 50 points51 points ago

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SHUT UP VIRUSES!

[–]rosscatherall 38 points39 points ago

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Sounds like somebody didn't buy the X360 Elite HDMI LX 2.5m 180 swivel cable.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]dankhimself 5 points6 points ago

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It's made by M0nster, a Chinese company who insinuates through similar packaging that they are of equal or better quality than Monster, at a much greater value. Usually at 2% or less the cost of Monster.

[–]druumer89 2 points3 points ago

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Energy? No wonder the viruses are noisy.

[–]THIS_POST_IS_FAKE 6 points7 points ago

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I wish someone would drive me nuts, preferably cashews.

[–]pepperman7 16 points17 points ago

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[–]csmotsin 23 points24 points ago*

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Best comment on that video is priceless: "Someone started hacking me once. So I just started slapping the keyboard with my dick. That fixed everything. But, sadly, I'm no longer allowed in that library. SoulfulBrutha5805"

edit - added commenter uname

[–]NovaMouser 11 points12 points ago

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I don't have a youtube account, so I will just upvote your rehashing of the comment, I trust you will give the karma to it's rightful owner.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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Are your viruses making too much noise all the time?

[–]The-Strike 4 points5 points ago

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You are so stupid!

[–]whirbl 53 points54 points ago

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Fucking virus noises. How do they work?

[–]SkaveRat 52 points53 points ago

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you always hear people sneezing

[–]iwannatalktosampson 21 points22 points ago

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Those were the days before this cable, my friend. Hear people sneezing no more!

[–]I_dont_mind_you 8 points9 points ago

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Bless you!

[–]eric-tile 9 points10 points ago

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No, damnit! You won't have to say that anymore!

[–]chiuta 5 points6 points ago

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Virus noises. You can't explain that!

[–]dszordan 5 points6 points ago

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Are you tired of your viruses making so much noise all the time?

[–]Lindarama 11 points12 points ago

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I know exactly what yo-BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-Ahh crap-BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

[–]QQexe 8 points9 points ago

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what i imagined when reading this: http://aporcupine.com/dialup.swf

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Spoon_Badger 284 points285 points ago

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Ah, carrying on the fine tradition of sticking any old bullshit on the back of HDMI cable packaging.

[–]Meekman[!] 63 points64 points ago

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I wonder if it prevents RRoD too.

[–]Ulys 87 points88 points ago

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Not this one. But for just $20 more, I can get you that.

[–]sltkr 74 points75 points ago

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$20? Please. Do I look like a pauper? Give me a cable that's $200 more. Anything less is clearly inferior.

[–]ZorbaTHut 71 points72 points ago

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This cable is made entirely out of mink fur and diamonds.

[–]register-THIS 35 points36 points ago

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It works against minks and African miners.

[–]branman6875 21 points22 points ago

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[–]jbotski 27 points28 points ago

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Users who viewed this item also viewed: Fresh Whole Rabbit

ಠ_ಠ

[–]drp1103 9 points10 points ago

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The reviews on that product are hilarious.

[–]CleverPerson 3 points4 points ago

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Mmmm, bacon

[–]odei 18 points19 points ago

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Don't settle for that shit, my cable is made from asteroids and only costs £14,000 a centimeter.

[–]jugglinglivebabies 7 points8 points ago

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best buy is having a sale right now on cables made from dragon scales and embryonic stem cells. only $14k. can't beat that price with a stick.

[–]code_reuse_boss 8 points9 points ago

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Don't trust this guy! He sells cheap Chinese knockoffs. I can get you the real stuff for only $150.

[–]whirbl 77 points78 points ago

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I can't tell what country this is from, but in Canada I know there are some pretty strict anti-false advertising laws.

[–]Piemonkey 131 points132 points ago

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And yet you can still find Monster products here.

[–]sevwolf11 51 points52 points ago

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You cannot lie about a products claims here, but there are no laws for charging unreasonable prices for many consumer products. Sadly.

[–]Piemonkey 48 points49 points ago

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Their gold-plated HDMI cables still advertise "better signal transmission".

[–]Prof_G 59 points60 points ago

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grey area. technically, it does have better transmission than say a string and two tin cans. They know how far they can go.

[–]Piemonkey 43 points44 points ago

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Problem is that it's saying that for a digital signal. You can't really improve the signal quality beyond "works or doesn't work".

[–]thebigslide 12 points13 points ago

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It depends on what you mean by quality and what they mean by quality.

Pretend you're an asshat lawyer arguing the validity of their statement. All electrical signals are analog. Binary digital signals are both. They happen to encode digital data using a +/-nV square wave. Technically, that's still a type of analog signal.

The receiver buffer is designed with a certain electrical tolerance. Say your standard signal encodings were 0V and +5V. You might design a buffer that will tolerate 0+/-1V and 5+/-1V. Stuff like this is really important in battery powered devices where your input voltage is unknown. Also, the "square wave" produced by the transmit is not a perfect square wave. Looser tolerance on the receive side means the transmit side doesn't have to be as complex or robust (pronounced: expensive to manufacture).

A better cable will obviously make a difference in the electrical signal quality. It might be marginal. You might need very expensive electrical testing equipment to determine it. It certainly won't make a difference in picture quality. Once the electrical signal quality is "good enough" than the the signal is digitally lossless. But electrically, the analog signal carried by the cable is still transmitted "better."

Also,

You can't really improve the signal quality beyond "works or doesn't work".

Yes you can. It's called error rate.

[–]Letsgetitkraken 16 points17 points ago

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You're absolutely right which is why I'm not sure how they can make that claim.

Also, your name is Piemonkey and your cake day is pie day. Clever girl.

[–]Piemonkey 14 points15 points ago

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Oh, so it is. Excellent!

Either way, I'm sure if someone were to raise the issue in courts and demand proof/provide hard evidence that the claim is false, they'd be in trouble.

[–]Beer_Is_So_Awesome 10 points11 points ago

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I'm going to assume that what constitutes "lying" is a grey area...

An InsuLight™ Jacket protects the optical signal from cable vibrations, while graded-index fiber ensures an ultra-wide bandwidth and maximum bitstream transfer. Plus, Monster hand polishes the fiber ends within a fraction of a lightwave for minimal internal reflections. It’s a costly, labor intensive process, but it dramatically reduces cable-induced jitter for more realistic, detailed digital music and movie surround sound.

[–]Ceedah 11 points12 points ago

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I'm sorry, but how do you "hand polish to within a fraction of a light wave" ??

[–]notanon 7 points8 points ago

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With your hand, of course.

[–]thatguyontheleft 3 points4 points ago

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The guy with the angle-grinder has an assistant with a flashlight

[–]chodemessiah 3 points4 points ago

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Graded-index could refer to the American wire gauge measurement (AWG), and lowering that number does increase bandwidth and allow signals to be transmitted further without degradation. (ie- you can pump a 3D1080/60p signal 45ft on a 22AWG cable, but you can run into some artifacting on a 28AWG cable of the same length) Every cable I've come across is graded by that metric or some equivalent.

Most of those words are the electronic equivalent of synergy or paradigm. Cool sounding buzzwords to lure in the uninformed. Regardless of where it stands legally, it's most definitely misleading and disingenuous.

[–]dszordan 12 points13 points ago

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It's not false. How many viruses does your TV have? Sounds like those cables are 100% effective at preventing viruses.

[–]urjellycuzirock 67 points68 points ago

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I'm pretty sure that's the company I download all my RAM from

[–]AmishRockstar 26 points27 points ago

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I downloaded my RAM from them too, but I got too much. Do you want some? I could email it to you.

[–]lurker_becomes_lurkd 14 points15 points ago

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You idiot. You can't "email" it, it's too big to attach. Put it on a flash drive, then transfer it to his computer.

[–]AmishRockstar 13 points14 points ago

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I'm such a noob. Why didn't I think of that? Can I email the flashdrive, or do I have to go to his house?

[–]lurker_becomes_lurkd 11 points12 points ago

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Hmm.. You might be able to email the flash drive if you put it in a .ZIP file.

[–]AmishRockstar 11 points12 points ago

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What if I just put it in a ziplock bag, flushed it down the toilet, asked everyone on the internet except him to turn off their toilets, and then had him wait next to his until it arrived in his bathroom?

[–]lurker_becomes_lurkd 6 points7 points ago

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That might work if you put a very strong magnet on it and he put a very strong magnet in his toilet. I think that's how they work. I'm not entirely sure how they work....

[–]NOTorAND 7 points8 points ago

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Fucking magnets...How do they work?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Cold417 4 points5 points ago

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As a former support tech, I find this statement hilarious.

[–]dog_eat_dog 118 points119 points ago

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I think putting the "100% Mylar" in quotes is implying an in-joke with everyone at the factory/company, because it's really 50% lead and 50% newspaper shavings.

[–]TheWorldEndsWithCake 68 points69 points ago

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Half lead, half newspaper shavings, half panther extract. It works 60% of the time, every time.

[–]themadkingnqueen 19 points20 points ago

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They're made out of Chinese newspapers and apple cores.

[–]thebassethound 11 points12 points ago

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Hey, Deng Xiaoping died!

[–]Captain_Ligature 52 points53 points ago

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Isn't this illegal?

[–]BeJeezus 96 points97 points ago

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Consumer protection laws are soooo pre-9/11.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]max_damage78 5 points6 points ago

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Durr! Of course not! You can't SEE noise. You so silly amcrastinator.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Ash-G099 72 points73 points ago

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[–]tomasziam 30 points31 points ago

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A friend of mine bought one of those ridiculous Monster surge protectors and was trying to show me videos to convince me that it mattered. My neck was slightly sore that night from all the head shaking I did.

[–]Sciar 31 points32 points ago

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When I bought my TV the employee there decided to tell me exactly how wrong I was about Monster Cables and how they absolutely do provide a better picture quality.

So I did my best to help thwart this set of ideals and went and got another employee to finish the sale on my TV. When the original employee tried to intervene to save his commission I asked if I could please keep the new employee as I no longer wished to deal with him. He asked why and I got to tell him because anybody who is willing to lie to me isn't getting my business.

[–]atrich 15 points16 points ago

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He probably wasn't lying to you, just misinformed and cocksure.

[–]Sciar 3 points4 points ago

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Very possible, except that we argued about it for a little bit and he told me that he had proof.

Technically he could have still been confused but he lost his commission so I hope that he at least spent a few minutes that day to check up on his "proof".

[–]perrycox86 32 points33 points ago

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I like how it works with "Blue" Ray Discs too. Clearly this is a high quality hdmi cable.

[–]avapoet 30 points31 points ago*

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My email to the manufacturer.

Update: 18 hours later; no response yet. Just wanted to let you know that I'm not going to back down on my commitment to letting you all know if/when I get an answer. Update2: 31 hours; still nothing. When we get to 48, I'll send a second email.

Update3: It took 5 days, but they eventually got back to me: their email to me.

tl;dr: The distributor blames it on a translation error from the original French.

[–]Slaterson360 10 points11 points ago

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heh, if you get a reply back you should post it, to show the retarded answer they give for that.

[–]avapoet 4 points5 points ago

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I don't expect to get a reply, but I shall certainly post it here if I do.

[–]TheSinglePlop 61 points62 points ago

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My 360 is always getting the flu. Thank jebus for this.

[–]iamaminkey 33 points34 points ago

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I'm going to be slightly charitable and assume this was a really bad translation and should mean something along the lines of reduces radio interference i.e. shielded.

[–]IsThisTheRealLife 9 points10 points ago

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Parasitic noise->parasite->virus

[–]figureinplastic 8 points9 points ago

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Yeah, seems like maybe a mistranslation of "parasitic" or something like that...

[–]fuzzycuffs 25 points26 points ago

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Where do you work, the bullshit store?

[–]DrBulldogMD 17 points18 points ago

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Got 'em, coach.

[–]Smart_in_his_face 9 points10 points ago

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Used to work at electronics shop. Every time a customer walked in and said they wanted a HDMI i directed them to the 9.99$ HDMI bin. Don't buy those 70$ things we have stashed somewhere.

FYI the cheap ones cost like 0.50$ to make. So the store get's 70-80% of your money.

[–]pigferret[!] 7 points8 points ago

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* by Monster ™

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Lier_X_Agerate 15 points16 points ago

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I'm not sure what "true" HD is, but the guy at Best Buy says the only way I can get it is with more Monster Cables!!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I'm buying one, I can never hear the game over those pesky virus noises.

[–]Sampetra 5 points6 points ago

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I used to work at a Best Buy and had to deal with nonsense cables like this all the time. Each week I'd make a batch of Monoprice.com business cards and give them to my customers.

[–]Smart_in_his_face 4 points5 points ago

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I once had a virus in my fuse box that made the lights go out. Called the tech guys and they told me I need virus protection on my cables.

true story.

Anyone know where i can get 240v virus protection cables for normal house electricity?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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Sure. You need a line conditioner. Apply line conditioner. Massage gently into box. Rinse well. Re-apply and leave in for three minutes. Rinse well and dry naturally. IMPORTANT: Ensure power is disconnected at the generating station prior to use.

[–]Hydroweedmancer 14 points15 points ago

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[–]Letsgetitkraken 4 points5 points ago

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It was like Tetris with drugs. I miss that game.

[–]zp_ 17 points18 points ago

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24 karat gold connections seals the deal imo.

[–]SolemnFir 21 points22 points ago

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To be fair, gold plated connectors are useful in preventing corrosion that can lower conductivity. But all that other stuff is bullshit. I like how "100% Mylar" is in quotes.

[–]deadsoon 19 points20 points ago

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useful in preventing corrosion

Just in case you are gaming on the deck of a whaling vessel.

[–]l33tb3rt 3 points4 points ago

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Honest question: What is your actual risk for corrosion on an HDMI cable? It seems to me it would take years for that to even be an issue, and only assuming you live in an incredibly humid location.

[–]YourFavoriteMartyr 2 points3 points ago

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[–]slixy 4 points5 points ago

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"Keep it down in there you viruses!"

[–]majnus 5 points6 points ago

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[–]PanicProne 9 points10 points ago

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This should stop the annoying "I'm a virus.... in your Xbox...." voices through your headset.

[–]Rogue_Tomato 15 points16 points ago

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no longer playing call of duty stops annoying voices through your headset too.

[–]mtme 6 points7 points ago

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Norton makes HDMI cables now?

[–]MassRelay 2 points3 points ago

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I find the 180 degree right angle connector to be even more WTF.

"What, you mean you don't have to make an extra turn with the cable before plugging it in?! I'll buy two!"

[–]MizadChizad 3 points4 points ago

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It's got anti-virus protection IN the cable man.

[–]feanturi 9 points10 points ago

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It's amazing to think that this has possibly gained some sales. I know the average person is not that great at connectors and general tech stuff, but how does someone believe a claim like the one on this package? When they read it, it must come across like the grown-up voices on Charlie Brown, just a bunch of trumpet noises. And the occasional coherent "shiny!" pops through somewhere.

[–]PastaNinja 20 points21 points ago

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but how does someone believe a claim like the one on this package?

Because they have no idea that there's a difference between digital and analog, or what that difference is, or how viruses work, or how their XBOX works. It all might as well be magic.

[–]StumpHarvey 10 points11 points ago

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They really love to fluff the details with added bullshit. If you recited this sentence as the reason your hdmi cable is better than a friend's, you would get kicked in the dick (assuming your friends have any sort of decency and willingness to do the right thing).