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all 82 comments

[–]SoraXavier 26 points27 points ago

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If Mickey was a mouse, and Minnie was a mouse, and Donald and Daisy were ducks and Goofy was a dog, and they could all talk, then WHY WAS PLUTO JUST A FUCKING DOG?

[–]shitjustaintcray 21 points22 points ago

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I appreciate the Bo joke, now here's my theory.

Fabric. The fabric is magical. Any creature with a shirt, gloves, or a hat have human characteristics. So, the clothes make them like that.

[–]DoorLord 18 points19 points ago

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Why deprive Pluto of clothing then? Do we got some Harry Potter Lucius Malfoy shit going on? Or OR was Pluto just a dick and they stripped him?

Also if that's true then strip poker must be their Russian Roulette.

[–]ZeroNihilist 8 points9 points ago

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Pluto started playing all the others against each other, feeding off their fears and consolidating power. In the end he started to encourage them to murder each other. Luckily, they learned of his manipulative ways just in time. Donald's suggested punishment was to strip him of the sapience he had abused and to condemn him to a lifetime of mindless love for chasing things and getting patted, and this is what they did.

Don't fuck with an anthropomorphic duck.

[–]heavyfuture121 4 points5 points ago

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Explains what happened to Horace Horsecollar, Clarabelle Cow, and Clara Cluck...

[–]SpaceWorld 1 point2 points ago

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Perhaps they do not believe that they possess the authority to grant sapience to an otherwise happy and comfortable being.

[–]KRSFive 2 points3 points ago

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like mark twain said, the clothes make the man

[–]heavyfuture121 1 point2 points ago*

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Then why did half of them not wear full outfits? Mickey only wore shorts, Donald only a shirt and hat. If that were the case IRL I'd constantly have 9 layers on. Just in case.

[–]sentimentalpirate 0 points1 point ago

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You've got that backwards with Donald. He only wore a shirt and hat, but didn't wear pants

[–]heavyfuture121 1 point2 points ago

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Oops. That's what I meant. I forget how to talk like a human being sometimes. Also, Donald in only pants would be really weird.

[–]sentimentalpirate 1 point2 points ago

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So you're saying...

The clothes really do make the man?

[–]sploogey 1 point2 points ago

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[–]XavierMendel 5 points6 points ago

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Pluto has AIDS.

[–]wulululululuu 3 points4 points ago

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He was lobotomized during the Occupation. Read the lore. Sheesh.

[–]Fengorn 0 points1 point ago

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Where can I find such fascinating lore?

[–]peon47 1 point2 points ago

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If goofy evolved from a dog, why is there still pluto?

Checkmate, atheists.

[–]borkborkbork99 0 points1 point ago

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Where's Wil Wheaton when you need him to quote his own movie lines around here??

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Helping "Johnathan Frakes" take viruses off his computer.

[–]Cavemonster 0 points1 point ago

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I imagine they live in an alternate timeline where multiple species underwent a similar evolutionary path to humans on earth. Mickey, Donald etc. are all examples of highly evolved species with large brains, opposeable thumbs and all the basic biological tools that give humans such great ability to manipulate the world around us. Pluto is to goofy as an ape or monkey might be to us.

[–]GreyInkling 0 points1 point ago

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Goofy was a sentient canine. Dogs are to them what monkeys are to us. Chip and Dale are rodents like Mickey but they're nowhere near as big as him. Walt Disney was making cartoons about a future where genetic recreations of various animals eventually replaced the dying human population.

[–]Jack_Squire 0 points1 point ago

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Pluto has down syndrome.

[–]JonesBee 0 points1 point ago

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He's Goofy's retarded cousin.

[–]Mattyice318 22 points23 points ago

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Neil deGrasse Tyson + beloved animal + funny joke = karma

[–]Relevant_Sub_Reddit 6 points7 points ago

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[–]Mattyice318 4 points5 points ago

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you don't think i'm already subscribed? you silly

[–]Siethron 2 points3 points ago

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Its like circle-jerk with karma

[–]Relevant_Sub_Reddit 0 points1 point ago

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[–]BreakfastBurrito 0 points1 point ago

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OH, me next! Me next!

[–]Relevant_Sub_Reddit 0 points1 point ago

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[–]techtakular 2 points3 points ago

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Karma karma karma karma karma karmailion

[–]ThyZAD 5 points6 points ago

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more like

NdGT: "Look at the sun, since it is daylight"

Pluto: "OH MY EYES! MY EYES!"

[–]NotANoveltyUser 4 points5 points ago

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Its okay, Pluto. I'm not a planet either.

[–]malenkylizards 9 points10 points ago*

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Actually, the dwarf planet Disney dog Pluto was named after the Disney dog dwarf planet, just like you said. TMYK!

Edited for truth.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago*

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On a serious note, if you want to know how Pluto was named:

The object was officially named on March 24, 1930. Each member of the Lowell Observatory was allowed to vote on a short-list of three: Minerva, Cronus, and Pluto. Pluto received every vote.

Edit: Source.

[–]Capps_lock 1 point2 points ago

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i was told that it was ultimately chosen by a little girl.

[–]malenkylizards 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, that's what I thought. Consensus suggests we thought wrong!

[–]NotANoveltyUser 0 points1 point ago

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It was. She thought the name of the Roman(?) version of Hades fit the planet sitting in the dark corner of the universe.

[–]malenkylizards 0 points1 point ago

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Huh. While I may have been mistaken, I wasn't joking. This was my source. I watched it a year ago or more, but that was definitely what I remember from it...I should rewatch sometime, to either confirm or correct!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Here is the answer.

Why in the world do Plutophiles, which you make a pun on in your book title, even exist? What's so special about Pluto?

All Plutophiles are based in America. If you go to other countries, they have much less of an attachment to either the existence or preservation of Pluto as a planet. Once you investigate that, you find out that Disney's dog Pluto was sketched the same year the cosmic object was discovered. And Pluto was discovered by an American. So here you have a recipe for Americans falling in love with a planet that really is just a tiny ice ball.

[–]NotANoveltyUser 0 points1 point ago

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Actually, its just cus I grew up knowing of Pluto as a planet, and no one can take that away from me.

[–]andyvw 1 point2 points ago

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They were both named in 1930, the dwarf planet in May, and the disney dog in September.

[–]sentimentalpirate 0 points1 point ago

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...but, the pattern. The planets are all Roman gods.

[–]malenkylizards 0 points1 point ago

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Well yes. Apparently I was wrong, but the story I had heard was that the Disney dog was named, for some reason, after the Roman god, and that some little girl had been given the choice to name the planet shortly after (I suppose she was the daughter of an astronomer?), and she chose to name it after the dog.

[–]sentimentalpirate 0 points1 point ago

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You heard wrong, although it's pretty close to the truth.

Pluto the planet was named in March of 1930 by an 11-year-old girl.

Pluto the dog was nameless until later that same year.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pluto_(Disney)#Origin (it's hard to do wiki links that have parentheses in them)

Several months had passed between the naming of what was believed to have been the ninth planet, Pluto, on March 24, 1930, and the attachment of that name to the dog character. Venetia Burney (later Venetia Phair), who as an eleven-year-old schoolgirl had suggested the name Pluto for the planet, remarked in 2006: “The name had nothing to do with the Disney cartoon. Mickey Mouse's dog was named after the planet, not the other way around.”

[–]Psionic_Flash 1 point2 points ago

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HAVE YOU NO SHAME?! HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?!

[–]fifthconcerto 1 point2 points ago

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[–]digdugsmug 1 point2 points ago

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You would have to be someplace magical to see Pluto with that little pos telescope!

[–]TheSmartestMan 1 point2 points ago

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And it's during the daytime.

[–]iLOVEdux 1 point2 points ago

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Reddit sure has one sharp hive-mind to catch this, and what a gem!

[–]wyattherp 1 point2 points ago

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nothing in life enrages me like this topic. i don't know what to believe anymore.

[–]MessageAnxiety 1 point2 points ago

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Kept looking at his penis bulge.

[–]WorldPolice 1 point2 points ago

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Disney world, FUCK YEAH!

[–]ThePercontationPoint 0 points1 point ago

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Ouch, touche reddit.

[–]Stenzy 0 points1 point ago

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This is genius.

[–]trustedsource 0 points1 point ago

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He could have been named after the god.

[–]booksforyou 0 points1 point ago

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[–]avengepluto 0 points1 point ago

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Sure, rub it in.

[–]Roflkopt3r 0 points1 point ago

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I would have upvotet if you had been "ExplainsJokes" or some account like that.

But this way... no.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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What is this fixed from?

[–]BoColdBlooded 0 points1 point ago

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The planet was named after the dog.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Is that a pirate spyglass? Would you really be able to view pluto through that in broad daylight? I DOUBT IT.

[–]ObsidianPixl 0 points1 point ago

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Except they're looking at the sun.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Uh, guys that's Sinbad, not Dr. Tyson

[–]TheGentlecolt 0 points1 point ago

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Pluto is also a god of the underworld.

I can imagine Pluto living a double life, being Hade's and Mickeys pet

[–]Billy_Reuben 0 points1 point ago

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Has the planet Goofy also been downgraded?

[–]techtakular 1 point2 points ago

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yes, to only slightly moderately funny.

[–]thegreenbastard23 0 points1 point ago

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Probably one of the top five [Fixed] submissions of all-time

[–]orkid68 0 points1 point ago

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Dwarf planet = Still a planet.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]sentimentalpirate 2 points3 points ago

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Mercury = Roman messenger god

Venus = Roman goddess of love

Terra = Roman goddess of earth/nature

Mars = Roman god of war

Jupiter = Roman god of thunder

Saturn = Roman god of the harvest

Uranus = Roman god of the sky

Neptune = Roman god of the sea

Pluto = Roman god of the underworld

[–]GreyInkling 1 point2 points ago

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Except a couple of those were titans and other things. They're like the beta for the gods.

[–]sentimentalpirate -1 points0 points ago

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Yeah, it's really hard to keep track of what type of being everyone is. Apparently they've got Olympian gods, Protogenoi, Titans, Giants, Personified deities, and a slew of other gods, so rather than look it up I just threw in the god title for all of them.

[–]GreyInkling -1 points0 points ago

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So I guess this gives a whole new perspective to Pluto not being a planet.

[–]orangekid13 -1 points0 points ago

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It's not Disneyworld it's "Walt Disney World"
It's confusing because Disneyland is one word but after Walt died they named his Florida Project after him

[–]spattem -1 points0 points ago

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Downvoted for the truth is hard to hear.

[–]AcousticWalrus -1 points0 points ago

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Oh so they don't even have to classify planets. As long as you can see them (no matter how small the telescope) you know whether or not they are a planet

[–]Kougi -1 points0 points ago*

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Wow, everyone seems to think that the only 2 things which are named Pluto are the dog and the ex-planet...

Greek mythology, anyone? Pluto was most likely named after the "god" of hades. Naming planets after Greek mythological gods seems to have been a fairly common practise.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Why do you have god in quotes? In Roman mythology, Pluto was the god of the underworld.

[–]biggus_dickuss -4 points-3 points ago

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In Roman "mythology", Pluto was the god of the underworld.

FTFY

[–]sentimentalpirate 1 point2 points ago

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Not Greek. Roman. I know the myths are the same, but the names we use are the Roman names, not the Greek.

[–]GreyInkling 1 point2 points ago

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Hades was his Greek name Pluto was his Roman name. This usually worked when the Romans decided the Greeks had some awesome shit and stole a lot of their culture. They were all, "you have a god of the underworld, we have a god of the underworld. Hey! Maybe they're the same dude, you know?"

[–]distopiandreamboy -3 points-2 points ago*

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Nobody really knows why the dog was named Pluto actually.

[–]spattem -3 points-2 points ago

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False Pluto is a real planet. In 2003 the International Astronomical Union created a new definition system for planets. Bodies with true masses below the limiting mass for the thermonuclear fusion of deuterium (13 times the mass of Jupiter) are PLANETS. Substellar objects with true masses greater than the limiting mass for the thermonuclear fusion of deuterium are brown-dwarf planets. Our solar system has 5 dwarf planets, pluto included

IN conclusion:

PLUTO IS STILL A PLANET MOTHERFUCKER.