this post was submitted on
1,193 points (53% like it)
8,937 up votes 7,744 down votes

funny

subscribe2,394,332 readers

6,786 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 196 comments

[–]flounder19 300 points301 points ago

Reddit: the number one exporter of pictures of Louis C.K. with superimposed text.

[–]Aaberg123 94 points95 points ago

Importer/exporter.

[–]Demeno 44 points45 points ago

Art V is that you?

[–]MaidenLane 12 points13 points ago

Long Matches and Chips (potato and corn)...

[–]BurgerEatMan 8 points9 points ago

WRONG! he exports diapers, damnit!

[–]MaidenLane 4 points5 points ago

Susan raises her arm, and delivers the second punch that George has received today. George is thrown backwards out of the door by the blow, and Susan slams the door behind him.

[–]98PercentChimp 2 points3 points ago

Nope. Art Vandalay only does imports...

[–]jetaimemina 4 points5 points ago

You didn't just make this to flaunt in a comment to an insubstantial /r/funny submission, did you?

[–]mocotazo 9 points10 points ago

I made in response to a few different types of karma whoring I noticed. The funny yet bittersweet irony is that I only got like five upvotes when I submitted it a while back.

To prove the karma doesn't matter, I just link directly to the pic of the book when commenting, rather than link to the original submission itself.

[–]jetaimemina 9 points10 points ago

How ironic then that I just gifted you one month of Reddit Gold. Enjoy, you've earned it.

[–]mocotazo 2 points3 points ago

That's fucking awesome. I really appreciate it, I had been thinking about buying it for myself, but never got around to pulling the trigger. Gracias!

[–]oer6000 0 points1 point ago

Now that you finally have it, can you tell me what it does?

I've always heard about this reddit gold, but I'm not quite sure what it's supposed to do.

[–]mocotazo 0 points1 point ago

Pretty much what they outline here: http://www.reddit.com/help/gold

One plus is being able to deactivate ads. Personally, I really like that I can now see more comments without having to click on that "load more comments" link. Still exploring the different features, though.

[–]USMCsniper -1 points0 points ago

SO BRAVE

[–]leftinthedark 0 points1 point ago

I love that he might have. or she. but probably he.

[–]lustigjh 3 points4 points ago

Forward by....

Fail homophone

[–]mocotazo 0 points1 point ago

I often get asked if I did that on purpose because of the nature of spelling police on Reddit. Alas, it was a legit mistake on my part.

[–]lustigjh 1 point2 points ago

:3

[–]color_thine_fate 6 points7 points ago

I, too, recall Louis C.K. jokes that I thought were funny. Would you like me to recite some?

[–]bearchubs -2 points-1 points ago

Some people don't have time to watch all of Louis c.k.'s peformances.

[–]color_thine_fate 3 points4 points ago

Yes, that's why I'm making the offer. Would you like me to recite something?

[–]TrueAmateur 0 points1 point ago

.... Yes, obviously

[–]color_thine_fate 2 points3 points ago

thinks to self: Fucker called my bluff. Think quick, color_thine_fate. They're staring at you

I am...dead.

[–]aussiegolfer 0 points1 point ago

A BAG of DICKS!?!?! AHAHAHAHAHAHABASJ!!IHDININ@!O!NOD!!!!

[–]marcioaguiar 2 points3 points ago

flounder19 on reddit problems

[–]flounder19 2 points3 points ago

feel free to superimpose that on an artist's rendition of my likeness

[–]sup_manchild 7 points8 points ago

They laugh at his jokes, but don't seem to understand he's making fun of people like them.

[–]gistak 9 points10 points ago

They mention that others laugh at his jokes without understanding that he's making fun of people like them, but they don't seem to understand that he's making fun of people like them.

Everyone understands. They have the ability to laugh at themselves.

[–]elj0h0 1 point2 points ago

Also consumer

[–]randomjew -1 points0 points ago

I used to use Louis CK lines like 4 years ago and everyone thought I was funny. Now he's famous and everytime I use his jokes, I get told to shut up. :( firstworldproblem I guess

[–]sodhi 94 points95 points ago

Did he actually say

[...] you're life is amazing [...]

? :(

[–]Punkwasher 49 points50 points ago

How would you hear that?

[–]sodhi 37 points38 points ago

Listening for the apostrophe!

[–]Punkwasher 11 points12 points ago

Duh, of course!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

D'of* course!

[–]seanmharcailin 11 points12 points ago

yoo-err.

am I the only one who pronounces you're and your differently? Your rhymes with ore, you're rhymes with the bastard child of sure and ewer.

[–]ianp622 5 points6 points ago

Yes you are.

[–]skullturf 1 point2 points ago

There may be others, but I'm pretty sure you're part of a small minority.

[–]physys 2 points3 points ago

I was just going to suggest this. I love you.

[–]seanmharcailin 0 points1 point ago

I love you, too.

[–]victordavion 1 point2 points ago

Nope. I actually go out of my way to say things correctly. There are few words that sound identical in the English language. Don't ask for a list, I can't think on the spot like that, but at the very least, yes, I say you're and your differently.

[–]TyMan210 2 points3 points ago

I pronounce you're and your differently, in the same way that you describe.

[–]janyk 0 points1 point ago

No, I do, too.

[–]JoeyJoeJoeJrShab 0 points1 point ago

Are you trying to imply that Louis C.K. made this image himself? I think it's much more likely someone who didn't have access to Mr. C.K.'s notes wrote the text.

[–]magic_mermaids 7 points8 points ago

Dammit, there are too many grammatical errors for me to post this on Facebook. Now I can't look cool to my friends..

[–]gistak -3 points-2 points ago

Talk about first world problems. WHY ARE THERE PUNCTUATION ERRORS IN A COMPLETELY EASY-TO-UNDERSTAND-EVEN-WITH-THE-ERRORS JOKE?!?!?

WHY???????

[–]drakegaming 34 points35 points ago

I like how Louis CK explicitly calls them white people problems, but the title is changed to first world problems for reddit...

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

....and yet folks ask me why anyone would "choose" a challenging life. For the thrill of surviving each and every day!---that's why you made that particular pre-birth agreement.

[–]NULLACCOUNT 3 points4 points ago

pre-birth agreement?

[–]gravity_portal 42 points43 points ago

It's a joke. There's plenty of ignorant folk out there that believe because they had great parents who provided them with an excellent home life, financial security and the ability to go to college and have a job, that everyone had the same opportunity. Like we were all somehow born equal, and if you have any sort of problems in your life, they MUST be your fault. That you must have made some sort of choice before you were even born as to which family you were born to.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Yeah, but just think how he's being raped by that high zero-dollars tax bracket.

[–]gmick 0 points1 point ago

It's 100%, man! That ain't right.

[–]Broan13 0 points1 point ago

its undefined...

[–]gravity_portal 1 point2 points ago

Is... Is this fake?

[–]Confabulater 0 points1 point ago

[–]ENKC 0 points1 point ago

At the risk of turning this into /r/politics, that attitude seems to be pervasive on the far right.

[–]DoctorNose 59 points60 points ago

"Automated Teller Machine Machine".

[–]Anticlimax1471 40 points41 points ago

"Ass To Mouth Machine".

[–]XavierMendel 13 points14 points ago

I'll take two.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

I'll have the fish.

[–]Teh_Pwnererer 1 point2 points ago

You never go ass to mouth

[–]iComment_Too_Much 1 point2 points ago

And yet... They did. It was dark times.

[–]ruinersclub 0 points1 point ago

HIIIIIII-OOOO!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Bass to Trout Terminal

[–]feureau 1 point2 points ago

"Please enter your personal P.I.N. identification number."

(P.I.N. pronounced by the letter)

[–]richworks 1 point2 points ago

[–]Neophyte12 14 points15 points ago

[–]Novakaine 18 points19 points ago

Just because there is much suffering in the world does not mean one should lower their standards and accept whatever crap life gives them and accept it.

It helps neither you nor those getting their heads chopped of today.

[–]Cobek 12 points13 points ago

Agreed.

Let's say I starve for two days because I don't have money for food until tomorrow. Well, I shouldn't complain because some people might have to go through four days of not eating! My problems are now void and I'm selfish for complaining about it. Makes perfect sense.

[–]cebukid -5 points-4 points ago

First world problem:" Fuck you Dad, I want iPhone and not some shitty Andriod phone. You don't love me anymore."

Third world problem:" I wish I have a cellphone so I can contact my love ones."

See the difference.

[–]SimplyQuid 11 points12 points ago

Third World Problem(s): "I wish I had a cellphone so I could pawn it to afford to eat tonight, or to pay bribes to escape this horrible country, or to pay off the local bandits."

[–]dumbledorkus 2 points3 points ago

Yeah. The second one isn't directly affecting me right now. If no one complained because people elsewhere have "bigger problems" nothing would ever get done.

[–]pensivewombat 5 points6 points ago

This isn't about not complaining, it's about having a little bit of perspective and recognizing bullshit. Notice that he doesn't say that there are no first world problems, just that there are some problems that we invent.

[–]remydc 20 points21 points ago

You're

ಠ_ಠ

[–]BCBUDDHA 2 points3 points ago

when somebody is just smart enough to know the two can get confused, but then feels guilty EVER using "your" even in correct context

[–]what_eye_see 36 points37 points ago

AHAH WOW WAY TO POINT OUT THAT GRAMMATICAL ERROR. IT WOULD BE A HORRIBLE DAY IF IT WASN'T CORRECTED. THANKS A LOT BROCAHONTAS.

[–]10z20Luka 10 points11 points ago

BROCAHONTAS

I don't know why that's so funny.

[–]ENKC 3 points4 points ago

I'm adding that to my rotation of bro variations.

[–]CUNT_COTTAGE_CHEESE 2 points3 points ago

I didn't laugh until you pointed that out.

[–]GrandMasterMara 10 points11 points ago

I'm sorry, but reading it is not funny.

[–]marcioaguiar 9 points10 points ago

Your head voice must be a lousy comedian.

[–]Aikidi 1 point2 points ago

You don't win friends with salad

[–]Confucius_says 7 points8 points ago

louis ck = funny

your stupid pictures = not funny

[–]whitmell 1 point2 points ago

If you're going to transcribe a video onto screencaps, at least use proper spelling and grammar.

[–]Squik101 1 point2 points ago

Im starting to feel reddit is a lot like youtube. You know when you watch a video on youtube and the top comments are all what was said in the video? I demand we see more original stuff make it to the front page instead of "lol guys look at what louis c.k. said in the comedy special we all watched lol"

[–]sjl127 1 point2 points ago

You're.

Your a dumbass.

[–]Hopulus 1 point2 points ago

Now that, that's Hilarious

[–]Deinos_Mousike 1 point2 points ago

Hey, I have an idea. Let's get a few pictures of Lewis C.K., then put something he said on them.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

~6,000 retards ruining this place

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Complains about first world problems

Refuses to donate to charities for bullshit reasons.

Stay classy, Louis.

[–]AlienGrill 1 point2 points ago

Why don't you just post the fucking video?

[–]blartuffwarrior 1 point2 points ago

ATM machine Ugh

[–]hear_me 1 point2 points ago

He needs to make more hour long episodes so i can throw money at him.

[–]TH0UGHTP0LICE 1 point2 points ago

And what's the deal with airplane food?

Am I right?

[–]Sokomekaj 0 points1 point ago

Seinfeld trying to hijack a post, so scumbag.

[–]SuperTurtle 1 point2 points ago

It's funny and all, but I don't see any reason why we can't complain. Finding flaws and making criticisms are what helps us improve.

Of course, if someone says to themselves that their life must be the worst in the world because I don't have a boyfriend, that car, cool parents, like we see on high schoolers' facebook pages, then that's just fucking stupid. But saying AtMs could be improved is nothing bad

[–]pensivewombat 1 point2 points ago

Well the point of the joke is not to ignore small problems, just not to invent problems where they don't exist.

[–]yupitshim 2 points3 points ago

Louis C.K. quotes will always get upvotes from me. Haters gonna hate.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Kiters gonna fly

[–]eazyd 1 point2 points ago

"'I had to sit on the runway for 40 minutes.' Oh my god, really? What happened then, did you fly through the air like a bird, incredibly? Did you soar into the clouds, impossibly? Did you partake in the miracle of human flight and then land softly on giant tires that you couldn't even conceive how they fking put air in them?...You're sitting in a chair in the sky. You're like a Greek myth right now." - Louis C.K.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

ATM Machine is redundant. I hate it when people say that.

[–]shstmo 2 points3 points ago

I wholeheartedly agree with all of my heart. Redundant words are unnecessary.

[–]emkat 0 points1 point ago

Didn't you just say it..?

[–]headzoo 0 points1 point ago

I hate it when people post "ATM Machine is redundant" 30 minutes after 5 other people said the same thing. Did you even bother to read any of the other comments before posting your own?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I did. And no one had said it. There were only 40 comments when I posted. Did you even bother to check the times?

[–]HugeIdiot 0 points1 point ago

You know, some of those machines default to English if you don't select a language and just slide a card in.

[–]celval8 0 points1 point ago

Your and you're are two different words. GAH!

[–]Mitz510 0 points1 point ago

Does he only wear black tees or something?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

mmmm Automatic teller machine machine

[–]Melnorme 0 points1 point ago

I don't have health insurance.

[–]Plippet 0 points1 point ago

hes hilarious, i record his show Louie

[–]chris-martin 0 points1 point ago

But I ALREADY PUT MY CARD IN. Why can't it remember the language I picked last time?

[–]ienjoyedit 0 points1 point ago

Downvoted for poor grammar. Learn to use commas correctly!

[–]Anonivixen 0 points1 point ago

Why did I read that in the voice of Jim Gaffigan?

[–]DFWTooThrowed 0 points1 point ago

If you get a chance watch this Louis CK bit from when he was on Conan some time ago. He pretty much nails everything FWPs have ever brought up/

[–]LooseChange12 0 points1 point ago

Your, not You're.

Fucking moron

[–]MoreLeetPlz 0 points1 point ago

I sense the creation of a new meme..white people problems. Someone should get on that

[–]abbacore 0 points1 point ago

TFL;DFR

[–]Brianne123 0 points1 point ago

"you're life"

twitch

[–]iosefstalin7 0 points1 point ago

If someone ever quotes me, I hope they will not misspell the quotation.

[–]ThePiderman 0 points1 point ago

I love the strut-thing he does when he says "I shouldn't have to do that" in the video, hahah

[–]Niiiccce 0 points1 point ago

The home button is spotty on my iPhone. Every time I get frustrated, I think of this and immediately calm down bc it reminds me of how fucking spoiled I am.

[–]NYGamer95 0 points1 point ago

That moment when you realized you've heard all of his jokes and recognize them on reddit...

[–]wheelybin_1 1 point2 points ago

Never found him funny, he just points out vaguely amusing ironies.

[–]Grumpy_Kong 0 points1 point ago

Louis C.K.: Still not funny.

[–]meiam001 -3 points-2 points ago

I can't stand this mentality. It's like saying eat all your vegetables or some kid in Africa will starve. Someone going through something in america and someone going through something worse in china are two completely unrelated things.

[–]atred 2 points3 points ago

Your analogy is faulty. It's like complaining that you want Brussels sprouts not broccoli while other people are dying of hunger. Sure, it's a problem you have, yet is small in comparison with what other people are going through, adjust your perspective.

[–]meiam001 -1 points0 points ago

Faulty? Hardly. SIGH. I wrote a whole thing out then remebered how retarded internet arguments are. Agree to disagree.

[–]atred 1 point2 points ago

I always disliked people who say "agree to disagree"...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

No! It is amazing when people say that! like it! LIKE IT NOW!!!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

And what other people are going through is small in comparison to what still other people are going through, ad nauseum...

[–]s73v3r -1 points0 points ago

And those people dying of hunger need to adjust their perspective because there are others dying of thirst. And those dying of thirst need to adjust their perspective because there are people being raped to death.

See how that goes on?

[–]atred -1 points0 points ago

once you are dead you are dead, there's no over-dying...

[–]jnethery -1 points0 points ago

Louis C.K. isn't funny in the first place and his jokes are somehow less funny when conveyed as pictures overlayed with text. There, I said it.

[–]markatwar[!] 0 points1 point ago

this isn't funny

[–]elmhing 0 points1 point ago

Whoever posted this didn't make the grammatical errors, the ORIGINAL poster did.

[–]softmod 0 points1 point ago

There was some extremely odd punctuation in those panels.

[–]Tickle-Monster 0 points1 point ago

Sidebar: TIL Louis C.K. wrote and directed Pootie Tang.

[–]adamnyc 0 points1 point ago

Why do I have to choose a language? I speak American! Gawd!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Yes, because in all other countries except america heads get chopped off as part of their daily routine. Need I remind you that the USA still executes people legally? Fuck you and fuck your Louis C.K shit. Edit : http://www.deathpenaltyinfo.org/death-row-inmates-state-and-size-death-row-year

[–]marcioaguiar 1 point2 points ago

You must be fun to hangout with.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points ago

you must be a cunt

[–]bodaciousbilly -1 points0 points ago

Why does this kind of thing always phrased as "White people problems?" Why does it have to be a race thing? It has nothing to do with race.

[–]aliceoutofchains -1 points0 points ago

hm yes it does

[–]s73v3r -3 points-2 points ago

I've always hated this whole "White People Problems" or "First World Problems" bullshit. It's a way of being extremely condescending, extremely pretentious, and extremely dismissive at the same time, regardless of the actual validity of the problem.

[–]seanmharcailin 2 points3 points ago

In my opinion, FWP are only valid if it's something completely ridiculous. Like, they changed the ridges on my Water bottle and now it doesn't make that fun noise in my car cup holder. Or I installed ad block and now I get bored during breaks watching Hulu.

[–]s73v3r 0 points1 point ago

If that's the only thing people used that retarded joke for, then it wouldn't be a problem. The thing is, people use that joke for anything anyone in the first world says. If it's not something that's related to having no food or something, then it's a "first world problem" and therefore trivial bullshit.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

like this?

[–]Pedipalp -1 points0 points ago

[–]over9000bubuns -1 points0 points ago

Are we already back to sucking this guy's dick nonstop?

[–]Imakeliberalsrage -5 points-4 points ago

Louis C.K. is anti-White.

[–]pahlmitchell -5 points-4 points ago

ATM machine... Really? An Automatic Teller Machine-Machine?

[–]melanie188 -3 points-2 points ago

Louis annoys me, because why does it have to be white people problems? Why can't it just be American problems? People like him are the problem, always getting racial, in that condescending way that white people do when they try to put down their own race. I hate him.

[–]dieselgeek -1 points0 points ago

Shut up

[–]melanie188 0 points1 point ago

No

[–]melanie188 0 points1 point ago

Sorry, I just don't understand my relationship with Reddit sometimes. I find 90% of the stuff posted in "funny", funny, or clever. At the same time, I can't stand this LoiusCK, like an icon of this place. I find him not funny, he thinks he's a modern day George Carlin-he could only wish. George Carlin was eloquent in pointing out the problems of the world. Loius is just crude and taunting. I don't find that funny.

[–]melanie188 0 points1 point ago

I do enjoy all the Futurama, though! I don't see where Community is anywhere near as funny as Big Bang Theory, which Reddit despises. I own cats, but I prefer dogs. R/politics I don't even go into, I don't want my low view of Democrats to be confirmed even further. Well, it's been nice, thanks for telling me to shut up-I'll be taking your advise again!

[–]alragusa -2 points-1 points ago

Oh, you have $100k in studentloan debt and you're making $8/hr as a janitor? Well SHUT UP you spoiled brat because some kid in Africa has no food!

[–]Mattycore -2 points-1 points ago

One of the best comedians ever. Everything he says is true.

[–]Lemoribond -1 points0 points ago

or having enough time to complain about white people problems

[–]yep45 -1 points0 points ago

Except he changes it to "white people problems" because he is a liberal who assumes that white people in America can never have anything bad happen to them

[–]dieselgeek -1 points0 points ago

Louis CK on WHITE PEOPLE PROBLEMS.

Because he's not worried about over sensitive PC redditers down voting him ಠ_ಠ

[–]seanmharcailin -3 points-2 points ago

There's a comma in there that is going to drive me nuts. Poor lost comma. :(

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago

this is not funny; uraidiot ck

[–]YourYoureCorrector -2 points-1 points ago

"That's where you're life is..." *your

[–]dopetastic -2 points-1 points ago

YOUR. Fuck, man. Poor spelling/grammar in a wordy Internet post is one thing. But when your whole post is centered around a couple of sentences, take the time to fucking clean the shit up. You're already in Photoshop or Paint or whatever the fuck you're using to make this shit...you might as well take an extra two seconds and get it right.

[–]BahBahTheSheep 0 points1 point ago

extra two seconds and get it right.

extra two seconds to get it right. Poor grammar in a wordy Internet post (capital I?) is serious business. Shouldn't we chastise only if we are flawless ourselves? Or just shut the fuck up?

[–]dopetastic 0 points1 point ago

Source?

[–]RedemptionX11 -3 points-2 points ago

Your name is "IDontCareAboutUpvote"... Down voted for misuse of 'you're.' :)

[–]jp13javae -1 points0 points ago

Why do i have to push 1 for English?