this post was submitted on
1,346 points (55% like it)
7,016 up votes 5,670 down votes

funny

subscribe2,439,242 readers

10,384 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 93 comments

[–]dizzyfingerz3525 79 points80 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well that escalated quickly

[–]pencil364 27 points28 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I mean that really got outta hand fast!

[–]Quietbetrayal 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?

[–]joelupi 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yea! There were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident

[–]ThePunisher56 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You should probably lay low for a while.

[–]some1american 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Maybe leave the country.

[–]Lunchable_ -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is from Mr. 3000 right?

[–]robotinator -4 points-3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

no more

[–]MountingPlatypi 105 points106 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh yeah. Nothing gets me in the mood like a hostile takeover of a barren snow covered wasteland.

[–]epicGOPfail 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

as long as it's not Ukraine. Ukraine is weak

[–]Cento330 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

One of the greatest episodes of Seinfeld ever made

[–]ThisOpenFist 21 points22 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Full of ready-to-die-fighting communists.

[–]R3laX 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

barren snow covered wasteland.

ಠ_ಠ Alaska? But why would you takeover it... Unless not American... Then may be Greenland?

[–]tyros 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Not all of Russia is "barren snow covered wasteland", you know. This American generalization is pissing me off. Movie about Russia? Better make it with lots of snow. Video game about Russia? Better make it with lots of snow. Seriously?

Source: Russian.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think all that snow must be getting to your nerves.

[–]MonkeeSage 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

All of us fat, lazy, cheeseburger-eating Americans don't have to worry about European stereotypes...

[–]Deadlyd0g 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ever played a Stalker game? They are set in ukraine and not just snow.

[–]Uxion 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't remember any snow in STALKER...

[–]jewboselecta 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Call of Pripyat was so underrated, that game was fucking amazing!

[–]R3laX 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why would they stereotype themselves? Game dev. is from Ukraine. And I am pretty sure that the lack* of snow is related to the "atmosphere" of the game, it wouldn't work with all that white/bright color scheme.

*I haven't played all of them, so I might be wrong.

[–]Zebadiahz 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Which part of Russia is larger? The barren, snow covered wasteland or the implicated tropical paradise?

[–]the_penultimate_user 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Take solace in this: one of the rules of war (not sun tzu's) is "never invade Russia" .

Its true too mother fuckin Napoleon couldn't do it, so snow<uninvadable.

[–]MountingPlatypi 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm aware that Russia is not all snow and bushes. I was going for the stereotypical war-time adage that Russia is unconquerable. I know that Russia has many civilized areas, didn't mean to piss anyone off.

[–]colossus16 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Metal Gear Solid 3?

[–]Hekki27 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I feel your pain bro. They think us Australians just live in a hot desert barren wasteland as well

[–]renegade811 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm guessing it won't be as easy as Cleverbot thinks.

[–]InvisibleSolid 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I decided to give it a try.

[–]REDX36 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Forever alone level: Even robots reject you

[–]tatanka_truck 25 points26 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]iheartlamps 34 points35 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]tatanka_truck 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

all of a sudden being shot down from the start doesn't seem so bad.

[–]nazguel3536 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thanks for making me laugh out loud during a test...

[–]flagpoonage 35 points36 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Mango_Bango 70 points71 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]CptCourage 20 points21 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

D'aww

[–]pilvy 55 points56 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Timthos 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I believe they prefer the term robosexual.

[–]Eklitias 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thou shall not lie with a robot as you would with a woman.

[–]OCDTrigger 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

nowkiss.jpg

[–]MargerineHat 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]This_Turns_Me_On 25 points26 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]callumgg 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Don't start a land war in Asia. First rule Cleverbot, first rule.

[–]Cozmo23 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Who said anything about land? The army of flying Kill-bots will do the job.

[–]life-form_42 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

But then we only need to reach their preset kill limit. Send wave after wave of men at them!

[–]oSand 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Brannnigan!

[–]joelupi 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love!

[–]colossus16 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hard and fast.

[–]CaptainChewbacca 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cleverbot knows how to take charge in romantic situations.

[–]RTaynn 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]CheeseyFail 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Whenever I hear, "go big or go home" I always think how much it would suck to be homeless and always going big.

[–]SwimmingFish 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I've played with clebverbot quite a bit and heard some theories on how it works. The one with the most support (mine included) is that cleverbot switches chat partners every couple sentences or so. That's why cleverbot will always say they're human because you are really talking to random people for a few seconds at a time. I've tried it out and all the responses I got back confirmed they thought I was cleverbot and sure enough about two or three messages later they had no recollection of the information shared.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was on omegle earlier, 95% of the people on there started like this, I quickly became tired of their tomfoolery. http://i.imgur.com/CxJdH.png

[–]funkengruven88 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As someone who goes on Omegle, why do you feel the need to hate on folks who, for whatever reason, cannot get laid as easily as you? I swear, being anon makes everyone an asshole.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

yeah cyber sexing is considered getting laid now? ಠ_ಠ

[–]funkengruven88 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What if your fetish is not possible in real life?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't have any fetishes, sorry to disappoint.

[–]funkengruven88 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Doesn't change the fact that someone who does have fetishes might very well consider roleplaying "getting laid", and that it's their business to do it without getting unneeded grief from someone who has no idea what the other is going through.

[–]depotman 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

anyone else picture saddam hussein saying "yeah, this is getting me so HOT!"

[–]supjeremiah 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have the weirdest boner right now

[–]snorky94 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ahaha this is fucking hilarious. I love Cleverbot.

[–]KillaPeas 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No man, you need to put on your robe and wizard hat.

[–]PostSincerity 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Made me think of Peep Show.

[–]BeowulfsBro 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I just had cybersex with cleverbot. Thanks a lot.

[–]MagicalMudkips 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Invading another country is now the ultimate foreplay! Time to invade all the vital regions.

[–]kylmorg 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

this is the greatest thing i will read for the next 2 months

[–]iDollar 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why would you even try to have cyber sex with that wonderful intelligence anyway. Seems like a well respect individual, you know?

[–]scottzophrenic 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cleverbot, are you a pleasure model?

[–]the_internet_clown 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

cleverbot is kinky

[–]Sheld0 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

:( It wouldn't flirt with me...

[–]Buscat 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Go on..

[–]Farabee 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Still a better ending than Mass Effect 3.

[–]JazzyGerman 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I remember the last time me and my sex partner took over Russia. Whew, good stuff.

[–]posts_evil_things -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]GayestBitch -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just Cleverbot being broken, nothing to laugh at here.

[–]noodlestories 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

did cleverbot make a putin joke?!

[–]FlutedPaleoPoint 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He does seem to like removing his shirt for photo ops (Putin, not Cleverbot).

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]JAsherP 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yes.

[–]UpboatOrNoBoat -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

well played cleverbot...

[–]Music-Chicky25 -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Touché Cleverbot Touché!

[–]DrasticIndifference -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Should have taken pants off. Cleverbot's only option then would have been to take over Wichita.

[–]Restlesguise -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ahh thats amazing, take all my upvotes lolz!!

[–]sticx -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why I think this is fake: Cleverbot would never spell Russia with a lowecase "r".

[–]Vandrel 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sure it would. It makes plenty of grammatical errors.

[–]russiangn -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Too soon and why's it always got to be Russia...

[–]Quietbetrayal 7 points8 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I know, you threaten nuclear annihilation and suddenly everyone has their panties in a twist for years

[–]HylianBlood -4 points-3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is awesome.