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685
686

Yes Dr. Kloepneckler, the vagina is indeed an amazing machine [SFW] (imgur.com)

submitted ago by trstmeimadoctor

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[–]Lovecraft 485 points486 points ago

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Fun fact: Dr. Herman Otto Kloepneckler never existed, making it unlikely that he ever said this.

[–]terapod 88 points89 points ago

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Also, although I can't be sure, I don't think "fucking" was a common word in 1912 :p It's a funny quote, but I can't stop thinking it'd be more funny to me if it wasn't a complete fabrication.

EDIT: I proved myself wrong :< According to Wikipedia, the word was coined around the 1500's..

[–]Vilvos 42 points43 points ago

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Most swear words have been around for hundreds of years.

[–]Druuseph 62 points63 points ago

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Yes but the popularity and usage has changed. 'Fuck' has existed for a very long time but I find it unlikely that someone in 1912 would color their statement with 'fucking' in the same way we would today.

[–]sierrabravo1984 30 points31 points ago

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Especially in a "published" statement.

[–]feureau 31 points32 points ago

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Note to self:

  1. become PhD.

  2. use the word "fucking" so much in a tightly controlled, supervised, peer-reviewed science paper

[–]el_lupino 8 points9 points ago

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You'll be about 30 years behind Dr. McCarthy. (And several others in that vein.)

[–]raoullduke72 3 points4 points ago

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Wow! That's un-fucking-believable!

[–]NonPermissive 4 points5 points ago

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Don't forget to participate in the PhD Challenge

[–]feureau 1 point2 points ago

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Awards

One Box of Maruchan Ramen Noodle Soup (your choice of flavor)

I wish I'm writing a PhD paper that's going to get published right now.

[–]nrrfed 0 points1 point ago

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I was reading Carl Sagan's Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors and found a great use of the word fucked. Very unexpected!

[–]feureau 2 points3 points ago

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I haven't read that book. What was the quote?

[–]celesfar 1 point2 points ago

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What if he said it in, say, German?

[–]NonPermissive 0 points1 point ago

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That's a good point, I guess this would be plausible at first glance if it were a translation.

[–]Avohaj 1 point2 points ago

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We don't use the word fucking the way it is used on english languages. Well more modern language does a bit (only one adjective form "verfickt") but it's mostly forms of shit and damn as inner-sentence casual cursing here

[–]NonPermissive 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't realize there was a literal "fuck" word in German, just figured the translator might use the word to emphasize an intended vulgar tone.

[–]Avohaj 1 point2 points ago

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Depending on the target audience this is just as likely as translating the cursing out completely for another audience. Just felt like clarifying that a bit :p

[–]blackedout -4 points-3 points ago

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The etymology, use, and meaning of the word fuck has not changed. It was well-documented in John Florio's 1598 Dictionary as a vulgar term for sexual intercourse. The word has continued, unabated in this context for centuries. It was alluded to by William Shakespeare himself in Henry V, with the slang term "firk" in reference to striking a soldier. Common use of the word "fucking" in this exact context was well documented as far back as the civil war. To assume that it would not have been written down or published in any form at the time is naive at best. Granted this quote is completely false, however, the least meritorious item is absolutely not the use of a remarkably ancient and etymologically intact word. TYL

[–]Druuseph 5 points6 points ago*

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So you are telling me that throughout all that time the use of 'fuck' as 'fucking' has been there? I call bullshit. 'Fucking' is a different use of the word that simply puts emphasis on the noun, description or action following it. The tie to sexual intercourse is almost non-existant in this case. This use of 'fuck' is a lot newer than the word itself. While it's not impossible it would have been used in 1912 it's pretty unlikely. I'd say maybe 30 or 40 years later from there it would be much more reasonable to accept because that's really when 'fucking' became much more common in usage but 1912 is pushing the bounds of reason. So if you don't mind you can take back your 'TYL' because it does nothing but make you look like a fucking smug ass-fucker. ;)

[–]gistak 2 points3 points ago

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I'm afraid that you're wrong.

People didn't use it as an intensifier until fairly recently, that's true. But not as recently as you seem to think.

From the Oxford English Dictionary:

1864 [Suppressed Bk. about Slavery! 211]: The Doctor‥thus addressed her (the congregation must pardon me for repeating his words.) ‘Hush, you fucking bitch, will you take the name of the Lord in Vain on the Sabbath day?’

1922: [J. Joyce Ulysses ii. 553] I'll wring the neck of any bugger says a word against my fucking king.

[–]blackedout 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you for the citations! As a younger man I earned a degree in English, and was at one time pursuing a specialty in Lexicography. I recall distinctly spending an incredible amount of time on the documented history of the word. It was truly fascinating in so many ways, due to how intact its usage was. Apparently reddit knows better however. Have my humble upvote.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Druuseph 11 points12 points ago

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Then stop believing chain emails because that's not true.

[–]CacophonyForever 10 points11 points ago

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this is completely 100% false.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]CacophonyForever 3 points4 points ago

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fuck off

[–]sje46 2 points3 points ago

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To assume that it would not have been written down or published in any form at the time is naive at best.

No one is saying it never, ever happened. That's what we call a strawman.

The etymology, use, and meaning of the word fuck has not changed.

Bullshit. The fuck word is much more common in normal speech and in the entertainment industry. Try to find more than 3 songs made before 1970 that have the fuck word in them. It is also used in much different ways. http://www.sigg3.net/myself/fuck.html You think that people used sentences similar to this for hundreds of years?

[–]gistak 0 points1 point ago

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Songs may not have had the word, because it wasn't considered decent.

But in earlier times, it was used. It's true that it wasn't used as much as currently, or in this way (as an intensifier) until the 1800s probably, but it was used in its sexual meaning.

Here are some quotes. It may seem as though I'm making this up (especially the cunt one), but it's all from the Oxford English Dictionary.

1568 A. Scott Poems (1896) iv. 55 Thir foure, the suth to sane, Enforsis thame to fucking.

1571 in J. Cranstoun Satirical Poems Reformation (1891) I. 202 For quha wald not lauche‥To se forett þe holy frere his fukking so deploire?

1680 School of Venus i, in B. K. Mudge When Flesh becomes Word (2004) 11 When a man thrusts his Prick into a Womans Cunt, it is called Fucking,. But pray do'nt talk of such kind of thing before Company, for they will call you and immodest baudy Wench, and chide you for it.

1708 School of Love in Indictment (P.R.O.: KB 28/24) m. 9 My lovely Phil. is‥as well vers'd in the various manners of ffucking and ffrigging, as the Captain of the virtuosa's.

1772 R. Cosway Let. 24 Feb. (British Museum, Townley Archive, TY 7/2028) 182 A Clergyman has just publish'd openly a treatise on fucking under the title of the Joys of Hymen.

1865 ‘Philocomus’ Love Feast ii. 11 Now the first time understood That fucking is the greatest good.

c1890 My Secret Life III. 228 This house had but eight rooms, and two mere closets to let out for fucking.

[–]shadowsarechilly 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think "etymologically intact" means what you think it means. Anyhoo, in general words like "table" and "lamp" will change little over time. Words like "fuck" and "bitch" and basically anything gendered, lots of nouns for example . . . well, these words have "intact" etymologies which show change over time.

(The best thing about University is access to the OED)

[–]DeathFood -1 points0 points ago

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If there is a published instance of the word dating back to that time, providing an actual example instead of saying people who don't believe it are naive would have proved your point. As it is, that is just an unsourced wall of text that basically says, "Yes it was".

(cue link to argument sketch in 3,2,1...)

[–]gistak 0 points1 point ago

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Please see my comment showing a quote from the 1800s and one from 1922. Both taken from the OED.

[–]Theinternationalist -1 points0 points ago

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Shut it, fag.

[–]angrymole 4 points5 points ago*

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Wrong, they say Fuck all the time in Spartacus. Therefore, I must be right.

[–]kgarring 9 points10 points ago

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Oh please, tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?

[–]ValarMorghulis37[!] 2 points3 points ago

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I almost lost faith in reddit when the first comment I read wasn't this one. Thank god I kept looking.

[–]darklight12345 -1 points0 points ago

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well, your being a bit of a dick about your sarcasm, but there is a reasoning behind that. It's easier to say "fuck" then say an obscure phrase over and over that nobody understands but can later attempt to understand by context if not by what it actually means. Especially since that phrase will change based on who and what the event was.

[–]TheExtremistModerate -3 points-2 points ago

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They suck fuck? I wasn't aware you could suck an action.

[–]gistak 0 points1 point ago

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If you can give one, why not suck one?

[–]MorallyStarved 1 point2 points ago

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I recently read a satire written in the 1200s titled "The Priest Who Peeked" in which a priest tricks a peasant into allowing him to have sex with his wife. In it, they use the word "fucking," as in the actual verb form rather than how Dr. Kloepneckler used it. So "fuck" has been around much longer than the 1500s.

[–]gistak 0 points1 point ago

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That's a French story, which was translated. So you'd have to see when it was translated.

The word almost certainly wasn't in English in the sexual sense in the 1200s.

[–]terapod 0 points1 point ago

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You should add this to Wikipedia's article about "fuck" then, with citations. I'd like to read that satire ,

[–]duck1123 0 points1 point ago

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for history

[–]Lonelan -1 points0 points ago

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Fornication Under Consent of the King

[–]Pontdepierre 10 points11 points ago

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That's a picture of Charles Sanders Peirce: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Sanders_Peirce

[–]SocratesJones 1 point2 points ago

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Came here just to say it. Good catch, my good Pontdepierre.

[–]situationformal 19 points20 points ago

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Fun fact: Fun was invented by Martin Luther King Jr.

[–]irawwwr 4 points5 points ago

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and directed by M. Night Shyamalakalahahahala

[–]GundamWang 7 points8 points ago

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an.

[–]Phrea 3 points4 points ago

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He exists alright, just not as we such.

[–]Tao73me 1 point2 points ago

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Best comment ever

[–]eh777 2 points3 points ago

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Dr. Herman Otto Kloepneckler never existed, making it unlikely that he ever said this

Hmmm... unlikely, but not impossible.

[–]Bardlar 2 points3 points ago

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"Herman was a baller and my main man" - Abe Lincoln

[–]superanth 1 point2 points ago

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It is unlikely that any man would ever say this and survive.

[–]sr20inans2000 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah I was going to say in 1912 engines weren't that advanced nor did they have management systems. Also the language used in the quote is recent.

[–]zelazny 1 point2 points ago

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-- Mark Twain

[–]StonedPony 0 points1 point ago

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Also 'management system' meaning Engine Management System is a term that only started being used with digital era of ignition control. The engine ECU (Electronic Control Unit) is a management system.

I setup and maintain the devices used for programming ECUs and testing production cars.

[–]savvyarg -2 points-1 points ago

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awwww but it made me laugh okay face

[–]Huztich 0 points1 point ago

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http://hu.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herman_Ott%C3%B3

Close enough?

[–]reddit_user13 -1 points0 points ago*

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So true.... i read that on Abraham Lincoln's Twitter!

[–]Omegle -1 points0 points ago

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i knew this quote was from Mark Twain... i knew it!

[–]MrMastodon -3 points-2 points ago

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I'd wager that his name is some elaborate anagram. Anyone want to try and work one out?

[–]Nomtaro -1 points0 points ago

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Dr. Herman Otto Kloepneckler

Dr. He Man

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

[–]irish711 -1 points0 points ago

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Pick one.

[–]MrMastodon 1 point2 points ago

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I choose "Raper Hemlock Kennel"

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]meeu 26 points27 points ago

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I like masturbating with cheese graters.

-millertime0503

[–]darklooshkin -1 points0 points ago

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How to masturbate with a cheese grater.

Step 1: do not take a shower.

Step 2: repeat step 1 until skin gains crusty consistency.

[–]MrMastodon 1 point2 points ago

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Step 3: Apply cheesegrater liberally to affected area.

[–]mynameisgoose -2 points-1 points ago

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I think Step 4 applies to me: ?????????

[–]fanimold19 -1 points0 points ago

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and then I believe profit comes after that.

[–]mynameisgoose 0 points1 point ago

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Gross. Was hoping we could skip that step all together. ಠ_ಠ

[–]fatmas 203 points204 points ago

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"The problem with quotes on the Internet is that you can't always be sure of their authenticity" - Abraham Lincoln.

[–]GeneralAverage 59 points60 points ago

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"Fuck Lincoln, everything on the internet is true." - Ghandi

[–]brningpyre 27 points28 points ago

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"Why don't you... ah... suck my dick?" - JFK

[–]AllBlowedUp 24 points25 points ago

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This is an actual quote, though.

[–]brningpyre 2 points3 points ago

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The level of Clone High in your post is severely lacking.

[–]reddit_user13 -1 points0 points ago

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To Marilyn Monroe.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Such a wise man.

[–]bluejeanprincess 0 points1 point ago

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BUT THEY WOULDN'T PUT IT ON THE INTERNET IF IT WASN't TRUE.....

[–]Beatle_Matt 37 points38 points ago

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FW:FW:FW:FW:FW HILARIOUS HAVE TO READ!!

[–]black27696 4 points5 points ago

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found at the library of congress MAIN OFFICE!

thought you'd like this!

check this out!

hilarious omg

hey guys have you seen this?

courtney I thought you'd like this how have you been?

omg lol!

so funny!

so true!

hey check this out!

[–]Lostinservice 46 points47 points ago

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Who showed grandma reddit? Now she's going to be posting all the stupid things she gets in her inbox.

[–]dclowd9901 19 points20 points ago

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The real question is who recruited an army of grandmas to upvote this fucking shit.

[–]kabukistar 9 points10 points ago

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It's all the neckbeards saying to themselves "Yeah! Women are so temperamental! That's why I don't get laid!"

[–]tyme 6 points7 points ago

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Sorry, my bad.

To be fair, I thought they'd stick to /r/knitting

[–]saladinzero 0 points1 point ago

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The real question is why you guys think this is a new thing.

[–]Bardlar 0 points1 point ago

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No kidding. I expect this kind of thing to show up on my Facebook feed, posted by some goon from Tumblr or 9Gag.

Sometimes I get this feeling that there are tons of gullible people on Reddit who would post this kind of stuff (on whatever social site) and believe it, and that these are not the same people who comment and think critically about what they're reading.

I mean, in the Kony 2012 video thread, there were boatloads of negative comments, but thousands of upvotes; the people voting it up, are just getting pulled right in, and the people commenting are actually interested in picking it apart.

[–]cosworth99 7 points8 points ago

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Funny how engines didn't have management systems until the 80's

[–]HOLNUMI 13 points14 points ago

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WHAT? a misogynistic post on reddit? i don't believe it. next.

[–]arcis -1 points0 points ago

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Reddit is the only place on the internet guilty of this. True story.

[–]bluejeanprincess 0 points1 point ago

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They would not put it on the internet if it was not true.......

[–]rofldestoyer 4 points5 points ago

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This guy looks like zach galifanicantspellhislastname

[–]r0baj0b 0 points1 point ago

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Upvote for making me chuckle all evening

[–]JerkyIsSuperior 59 points60 points ago

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Yeah, a gynecologist published a paper with a cuss word in it. In 1912 no less.

How did this garbage get 319 upvotes?

[–]blockey 10 points11 points ago

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Because it's in /r/funny where it belongs. I found it funny because the statement was funny, even if the person who said it never existed. I like laughing and so this particular post got a tasty upvote from me.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Smoofington -5 points-4 points ago

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Everything on the internet has to be real remember? IT CAN'T BE FUNNY IF IT'S NOT REAL.

[–]ptrc003 6 points7 points ago

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Yes, I'm sure engines in 1912 had "management systems". Dreaded check engine light on the old Model T?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Please No:

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]PoopNoodle -4 points-3 points ago

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Yes! Please only upvote humor if it does not have women, minorities, the obese, the disenfranchised, or religion as the punch line.

This way people may only laugh at what you think is funny.

[–]LeonardNemoysHead 40 points41 points ago

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What the hell is this shit chain email sexist bullshit doing on the frontpage?

[–]morrison0880 0 points1 point ago

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Is this your first day on reddit? You get to the front page by getting a haircut for fuck sake.

[–]LeonardNemoysHead 12 points13 points ago

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I at least give it the benefit of the doubt to not willingly endorse something so lowball and chauvinist. It isn't even funny, it's a god damn terrible joke. This is the kind of shit that retired blue collar guys have their retired blue collar friends email them, shit, it might as well be about illegal immigrants. Reddit, I am disappoint.

[–]morrison0880 0 points1 point ago

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Reddit as you knew it no longer exists. This will be back on the front page in a couple weeks or so. Welcome to Digg 2.0.

[–]xTRUMANx 0 points1 point ago

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Just 2 more version till the second odyssey.

[–]doctorofphysick -5 points-4 points ago

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getting a haircut and being a pretty girl

FTFY

[–]morrison0880 -3 points-2 points ago

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Unfortunately, your fix is not accurate.

[–]doctorofphysick -2 points-1 points ago

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Well, or responding to a post by a pretty girl.

[–]BGraceful 2 points3 points ago

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Creepy

[–]usedtowork 1 point2 points ago

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FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: Yes Dr. Kloepneckler, the vagina is indeed an amazing machine

[–]NinjaWithSpoons 1 point2 points ago

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Zach Galifianakis was alive in 1912?

[–]concernednerd 2 points3 points ago

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Looks like Zach Galifinakis

[–]lusciouslou 4 points5 points ago

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"Cause I can't fist your personality." -Jon Lajoie

[–]butters877 0 points1 point ago

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"Cause I can't have sex with your personality,

and I can't put my penis in your college degree,

and I can't put my fist in your child hood dreams

so why are you sharing all this information with me?"

-Jon Lajoie

[–]lusciouslou 0 points1 point ago

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Damn I was gonna post childhood dreams, but thought I was wrong. Man should always go with the gut. The man is a legend.

[–]Nikkilak -1 points0 points ago

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Actually, it's not that very unlikely he said that. Or no, wait, he's just an EVERYDAY NORMAL GUY MOTHERFUCKER!!!4

[–]dorisfrench 15 points16 points ago

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Sexism isn't funny.

[–]Wsallgood 22 points23 points ago

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... it's hilarious

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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You know what else is hilarious? Virgin neckbeards like you who make up for their inadequacies in real life by being a misogynistic tough guy on the internet.

lul

[–]Wsallgood -2 points-1 points ago

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Yikes...

[–]arcis -2 points-1 points ago

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I bet you are from something awful. Trolololol

[–]lizzyk 3 points4 points ago

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FAke. People didn't use the word "fucking" in 1912

[–]rugtoad 2 points3 points ago

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Not sure if serious.

In any case, they did in 1914.. People have had filthy mouths for nearly as long as they have had mouths, the idea that everyone pre-1960 was either June or Ward fucking Cleaver is a product of...well, our 1950's obsession with June and Ward Cleaver, I imagine.

The first documented appearance of the word in its current form and usage goes all the way back to the 1500's, in any case. Reed Moar.

[–]aero_nerdette 1 point2 points ago

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Also, speaking as the owner of one of those fabulous engines, it is a bit annoying that the oil change process can't be done in 10 mjnutes at Jiffy Lube instead of having to wait almost a week for it to cycle naturally.

[–]Birdie99 0 points1 point ago

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P-oor M-anagement S-ystem?

[–]RepostsOnReposts 0 points1 point ago

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I hear it was pretty wild back in 1912.

[–]burlap_pterodactyl -2 points-1 points ago*

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Seriously, this is such a tired-sounding joke that your grandfathers were probably politely snickering at in speakeasy's, already thinking that it sounded old.

[–]LonelyOnNaxos 0 points1 point ago

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And once you get a penis up and running, it's really hard to turn the ignition off, or make any other part of the machine work sensibly.

[–]bluejeanprincess 1 point2 points ago

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Expect when it is run to hard/blows a gasket or runs out of gas....It is usless and must call in assistance to get it working again. Talk about tempermental!

[–]Viviparous 0 points1 point ago

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German engineering

[–]Me_hav_ADD 0 points1 point ago

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I just so happened to find this funny enough to not give any fucks regarding its authenticity.

[–]amy050291 0 points1 point ago

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What about the penis then?

[–]brningpyre 0 points1 point ago

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I remember my dad sending me this in a chain email 8 years ago.

[–]hebreakslate -4 points-3 points ago

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This needs to be xposted in /r/engineering. Then again, do engineers know what a vagina is?

[–]divinesleeper -1 points0 points ago

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Yes, he does look like quite the jokester.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]Craigellachie -1 points0 points ago

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And you thought management was bad before, well...

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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seems legit...

[–]botena -1 points0 points ago

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Real of not, I think it's funny that his middle name is 'Otto.'

Don't know if intentional.

[–]saywahhhhhhh -1 points0 points ago

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What? A post about an austrian gynecologist and no mention of Dr. Paul...

[–]ithunk -1 points0 points ago

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Not to be confused with Nikolaus_August_Otto of the Otto_engine

[–]silent_p -1 points0 points ago

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It has only one flaw that keeps it from solving the energy crisis, and that is that it doesn't generate energy, or perform any of the functions that an engine is used for. Other than that, yeah, it's great.

[–]The_Big_Mang 0 points1 point ago

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Come on... any size piston?

[–]stellarfury -1 points0 points ago

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Fake, older than internet.

[–]patient-zer0 -3 points-2 points ago

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An exquisite machine indeed.

[–]downvote420 -4 points-3 points ago

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I showed this to my girlfriend she brought up a good point :)

"I have bad cramps today, it doesn't mention how the engine also irritates the management system"

[–]Stankia -2 points-1 points ago

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That's Zach Galifianakis.

[–]Pontdepierre 0 points1 point ago

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It's actually Charles Sanders Peirce.

[–]bluejeanprincess -2 points-1 points ago

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Wow. I do not envy the choice of OBGYN's the women had to choose from at that point and time in history. The lack of knowledge and disregards for the femininity was sad, scary and appalling.

And they wonder why we can be temperamental.....

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago*

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Kloepneckler just loved the pussy

Edit: Little known fact, Pussy Lovin Kloepneckler also recorded this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEK_sk3XlO4

Classic Kloepneckler.

[–]bridgeridoo -3 points-2 points ago

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Dr. Galifianakis?

[–]Nackles -4 points-3 points ago

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The whole interview is enjoyable, but skip to 3:52 for the relevant part.

Probably my favorite Jon-and-audience reaction ever.

[–]iiznotcrazy123 -3 points-2 points ago

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Imagine if Shakespeare did this

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