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[–]Timekpr 11 points12 points ago

Reposted to spread this magnificence!

Why God Never Received a PhD

  1. He had only one major publication.

  2. It was in Hebrew.

  3. It had no references.

  4. It wasn’t published in a refereed journal.

  5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.

  6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?

  7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

  8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.

  9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.

  10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.

  11. When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.

  12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.

  13. Some say he had his son teach the class.

  14. He expelled his first two students for learning.

  15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most students failed his tests.

  16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

  17. No record of working well with colleagues.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Timekpr 1 point2 points ago

You'll want to direct that to the OP, who I assume photographed this at his or her university.

[–]lindendragon 2 points3 points ago

Totally saw this on my Facebook feed. You have been identified!

[–]krekhoofd 2 points3 points ago

This is epic

[–]andropogon09 2 points3 points ago

  1. He expelled his first two students for critical thinking.

[–]kent_eh 2 points3 points ago

  • failed to attend meetings, appointments, etc.

[–]zubrin 2 points3 points ago

I got this chain email as well. I suppose a picture of an email printed out and on a wall amounts to more link karma.

[–]Pingthis154 2 points3 points ago

Why God never received his PhD- He didnt exist.

[–]marklarnomnomnom 3 points4 points ago

Of course, by Christian logic, God created man who created the PhD so anyone who receives a PhD did it because God willed it. So one could say that God has received every PhD ever awarded, but that would be wrong because Christian logic is an oxymoron.

[–]on_the_redpill 3 points4 points ago

Exactly, that's why logic is for us to play with and have a laugh among each other. On special days we'll attempt a rational conversation with a christian, just to be reminded why we vent on Reddit. You can't just unplug someone and make them understand. They have to take the first step towards greater awareness, popping that pill if you will.

[–]drtylb8 1 point2 points ago

I lost it at "his office hours are infrequent". Terrible professor!

[–]AnotherClosetAtheist 1 point2 points ago

As a BS Chemist who has listened to countless PhD's recount their grad school tales,

I approve.

[–]maybewellseeabird 1 point2 points ago

This should be "Why God didn't receive tenure"

[–]QinGu9221 0 points1 point ago

Number 10 just makes me constant lol

[–]Lovelyfleur86 0 points1 point ago

Actually the majority of the new testament was written in Greek.

And don't forget he'd never actually show up to office hours but merely phoned in when he had something say (or used a burning bush).

[–]thelandwhere 0 points1 point ago

showed up on my FB this morning. waited to see how long it would take to show up here.

[–]schniepel89xx 0 points1 point ago

Those last 6 (#12-#17) are seriously hilarious!

[–]NagantTwo 0 points1 point ago

OK, I'm disappointed. I thought this was something limited to my local FB / college.