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510
511

First Day on the Internet Man completing a Maze (imgur.com)

submitted ago by blueyellowandgreen

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[–]WorksForMe 34 points35 points ago

Is this your first day on the internet?

[–]blueyellowandgreen[S] 27 points28 points ago

second day.

[–]NDORHKS 35 points36 points ago

the internet is a lot like finding a job: no one accepts you unless you have experience, but the only way to get experience is through previous jobs.

[–]Thecobra117 2 points3 points ago

A thousand up votes for you

[–]NDORHKS 1 point2 points ago

and a thousand upvotes for you for your kind words sir

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

For things like programming, that is such bullshit. Anybody with any sort of self-motivation can get experience without a job.

[–]em22new 2 points3 points ago

Yep, experience in bad habits and poor programming styles.

[–]velkyr 2 points3 points ago

This. That is why I'll be stuck working for myself, working with small clients, or participating in open source projects. I'll never get an actual job as a dev.

[–]onanonanonaonon -5 points-4 points ago

nope, if you are resigning to that, it's just because you are a loser. fake it till you make it nigger.

[–]velkyr 1 point2 points ago

I was offered a job at zynga (I can post screenshots later) back in 2009. I didn't get it due to lack of post-secondary.

[–]em22new 1 point2 points ago

I would weed you out in an instance. Fakers are more obvious than you think.

[–]onanonanonaonon -1 points0 points ago

You presume I am a faker?

He tells people to fake it ∴ he is somebody that fakes it. You presume you could best me but you can't even form a simple logical proof.

In order to get a job without the full amount of experience that the employer is seeking, you need to be able to sell yourself quite convincingly to him/her. Now, most sales pitches, even good ones, are mostly bullshit. You're just trying to get somebody to give you what they want, and not necessarily to make a decision that is in their best interests. You even have to do this if you are perfectly qualified to fill the position. If you can't bullshit up a good resume or sit down in a job interview and tell a good piece of bullshit about how good you are, then you are at a severe competitive disadvantage. So I'm sorry guy, but everybody who has made it past your weeding out process was just feeding you a type of bullshit that you fell for.

[–]em22new -1 points0 points ago

"Now, most sales pitches, even good ones, are mostly bullshit."

As if I didn't know that. I have people sit in front of me all the time, streaming their BS. The look on my face tells them it bores me, I interject and I ask direct questions and I don't allow them to spew crap. I haven't time.

But as you say, people will spew BS, but they will regret it, as everyone is put on a probationary period, if you cannot do the practical part of the job, you're out in three months.

And, for your info : not everyone is a bullshitter like you.

It amuses me, it's like watching my kids tell me lies. They're so convinced by their own fabrication that they think everyone must believe it, it's so concrete!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

But good luck convincing employers that it's relevant.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Alright, I'm going to have to say that the job market where I live is a bit more understanding than wherever you are.

[–]alishainreallife -3 points-2 points ago

Cool wisdom, bro.

[–]PlayboyG 8 points9 points ago

I recommend you visit /r/spacedicks for your guide to the internet

[–]Eymundur 7 points8 points ago

I love the spaced icks subreddit, it's so fun watching liquids floating around in space!

[–]blueyellowandgreen[S] 6 points7 points ago

That stuff doesn't faze me. I came from .onion

[–]PlayboyG 0 points1 point ago

Child porn, drugs, and assassins. - Deep web-

[–]amberrgerr 3 points4 points ago

IT'S A TRAP

[–]Jawthumb 7 points8 points ago

STFU, amberrgerr. You're the guy at the fraternity who keeps the rest of the guys from murdering the new recruit. GOD I hate you.

[–]effin530 -4 points-3 points ago

and your that guy that everyone talks about in stereotypes. and i dont mean like as in that guy likes to drink 3 times a week bro. i mean the elitist asshole who fights for his right to join something just because he thinks it makes himself different, to join a group of guys who he feels like will help him get laid and be chill with because that group makes him feel just a little bit better about his terrible reality. You make me sick you weak piece of shit. messing with the new guy doesn't make you weak. it makes you a fucking coward. grow up faggot.

and just for your info, the only reason i wasn't even scathing of this comment is because you used fraternity, instead of frat. but still, go fuck yourself.

[–]Abbernathy 1 point2 points ago

Whoosh...

[–]littlefuckface 0 points1 point ago

what

[–]lilclark326 11 points12 points ago

Classic SNL skit...

[–]mbr2321 4 points5 points ago

I love Bobby Moynihan

[–]Abbernathy 1 point2 points ago

WHY ARE THE COPS OUTSIDE?

[–]ceandros 3 points4 points ago

God I love the slowpoke spark !

[–]kamishizuka 2 points3 points ago

Now reposted in glorious greyscale.

[–]nullster 2 points3 points ago

A link to the maze

[–]DinosaurWarlock 2 points3 points ago

Sometimes i still feel the residual paranoia left over from the days when that kind of trick was popular.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

i also bolt my monitor to the table. its day will come.

[–]kamikazedce 1 point2 points ago

You're Welcome

[–]Tyranicide 3 points4 points ago

I jumped a little inside when that thing popped up haha

[–]PedoTran 2 points3 points ago

Falcon......PUNCH!!!

[–]FalconPUUUUUUUUUUNCH 2 points3 points ago

My turn?

[–]nakedrampage -1 points0 points ago

Aw...I came here to say that. Ctrl+f works too well.

[–]RNRSaturday 0 points1 point ago

Screams like a girl, punches like Bruce Lee.

[–]goforglory 0 points1 point ago

In this case, this man flighted, then fighted.

[–]katchison02 0 points1 point ago

Is it common practice to bolt down your monitor to your desk?

[–]jkennedude 0 points1 point ago

http://s3-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web03/2010/5/15/0/falcon-punch-32324-1273899207-72.jpg

[–]Trafficcone97 0 points1 point ago

One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser

[–]Icanhazcarrot 0 points1 point ago

lolhepissedhimself

[–]rollingsz 0 points1 point ago

Using he on sno now?

[–]sachegrande -3 points-2 points ago

Holy shit I've seen this a lot of times. He's on SNL now, y'all know that right?

[–]binaryecho 1 point2 points ago

think it's bobby moynihan.

[–]sachegrande 0 points1 point ago

Indeed. Derrick Comedy with Donald Glover.

[–]Rosenkrantz_ 0 points1 point ago

So, this is fake?

I'm so disappointed.

[–]arcanition -1 points0 points ago

I'm pretty sure a punch wouldn't go straight through a computer monitor leaving a clean hole through it...

[–]Toastidge -1 points0 points ago

You're right, it looks like its bolted down as well but thats kind of beside the point.

[–]Casj_cat -4 points-3 points ago

every time i watch this it makes me angry because the kids fat, looks annoying, looks retarded and also is acting retarded

[–]PorcupineTheory 3 points4 points ago

You better not watch SNL then.

[–]sexysausage -1 points0 points ago

ಠ_ಠ that tracking of the images into the monitor is quite bad...

[–]FalconPUUUUUUUUUUNCH -1 points0 points ago

NO FEAR ANYMORE!!!

[–]jdarby326 -1 points0 points ago

like a BAUS

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