top 200 commentsshow all 452

[–]johnlolcopter 529 points530 points ago

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I think the artists of reddit should make more of these and see who can come up with the most ridiculous one. Challenge extended.

[–]JuicedCardinal 159 points160 points ago

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Sounds like Rube Goldberg machines that always result in sex.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 309 points310 points ago

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Let's call it a Lube Goldberg Machine.

[–]MisterFDotCom 18 points19 points ago

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This is relevant to my interests. I demand more of it.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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It's definitely a slippery slope from there on. Makes it hard to get out of the cycle.

[–]honeydew1092 3 points4 points ago

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I would go with Lewd goldberg machine

[–]Joymachine 1 point2 points ago

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this is awesome!

[–]colebluefearn 1 point2 points ago

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aka the best kind of Rube Goldberg machine.

[–]Ryugi 42 points43 points ago

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Challenge considered.

It may or may not involve jumping out of an airplane.

[–]kragmoor 64 points65 points ago

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SARAH CLOSE YOUR LEGS IM COMING IN TO HOT

[–]Blanderman 8 points9 points ago

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This... was part of an episode of American Dad. She was on the bottom of a water slide, and he came down without trunks on then yells

"I'M COMING IN TOO HOT."

Then blood splatters.

[–]SkyrimFTWFTW 5 points6 points ago

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Link please

[–]Blanderman 2 points3 points ago

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I wish I could find a link. My guess is that it would be considered copyright infringement.

But from the Wikipedia page:

Meanwhile after making Roger Steve's legal guardian, Stan and Francine decide to go on a vacation to Flash Flood Acres, The Largest Water Park in the Universe! But after spend two hours there they go on every ride, so they decide to get a refund from the manager, but fail when they learn he would not be back until Thursday. So they try to sell their eight day passes, but after that fails they decide to get even with the park by having sex in the biggest water slide. But when Stan comes in too fast, Stan and Francine end up in the same hospital as Steve and Principal Lewis with broken pelvises.

[–]DonaldMcRonald 37 points38 points ago

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Oooh, I like this.

[–]The_Narrator04 18 points19 points ago

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Challenge Assisted. I may be piss-poor at drwing, but I have an idea! Here's the scenario: There's a male barrista working at a coffee joint. He goes to hand a customer his coffee when suddenly, a car crashes through the shop. A woman was texting while driving, lost control, and crashed. The force of impact was enough to push her out of the car through the windshield. However, the remaining glass snags on her clothes and underwear, and they're torn of her body. Meanwhile, the coffee maker exploded in the collision, causing a fire. The flames burn off the baristas clothes, while the warm sensation is enough to arouse him. The woman land on him in a cowgirl position. Coitus ensues. Fin

[–]analogkid01 10 points11 points ago

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Final Copulation.

[–]caitlinreid 7 points8 points ago

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Whoops! I tripped and fell in a ho.

[–]ShitCtrlZCtrlZ 755 points756 points ago

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Pretty sure the guy in the middle wasn't too happy about this 'accident'. San Francisco-style street car, roller-skates, short-shorts, purple tank top, man-purse... good chance this guy is faithfully married and was upset he accidentally cheated on his beautiful wife.

[–]Zeppelanoid 75 points76 points ago

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I love misdirects!

I love Jeff Bridges.

[–]bvanman 11 points12 points ago*

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Abed?

Edit: Just watched the episode, he says, "I love the Big Lebowski." Thanks for giving me an excuse to watch an episode, though.

[–]banana_almighty 9 points10 points ago

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[–]zjneih2 2 points3 points ago

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Best part is, I think Jeff Bridges wasn't actually acting in The Big Lebowski

[–]boyasunder 147 points148 points ago

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Wait 'til the fellows at the church Men's Group hear about this one!

[–]haxwellmill 45 points46 points ago

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Wait till you notice that the guy pooping is Christopher Walken.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 73 points74 points ago

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Wait til you realize he's trying to poop out the pocket watch.

[–]wogmafia 2 points3 points ago

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I gotta have more cowbell!!!

[–]AccipiterF1 27 points28 points ago

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So this is how gay men have children!

[–]h0me5killet 7 points8 points ago

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He got the hottest lookin' betty

[–]stevesonaplane 1 point2 points ago

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I remember a similar joke the last time this was posted. I wish I remembered important things and not shit like that.

[–]naturalcauzes 1 point2 points ago

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"If Gabriel wants to rollerblade, Gabriel's gonna rollerblade."

[–]howaboutahug 387 points388 points ago

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I hate when I'm just minding my own business and then all of a sudden--blammo--sex with Christopher Walken on the toilet.

[–]1_point_21_gigawatts 172 points173 points ago

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I just googled "Sex with Christopher Walken" and found this step-by-step guide:

How to Make Love to Christopher Walken

[–]Pathlessflame 109 points110 points ago

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"Sex with Christopher Walken is much like riding a big cat. Perhaps a lion, or a puma. Is it impossible? No. Can it be enjoyable? Possibly. Is there a chance of blood loss and jungle-borne illness? Yes. Most certainly. Keep your eyes open for that".

My favorite part

[–]beaverteeth92 12 points13 points ago

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I read this in his voice.

[–]libtard69 4 points5 points ago

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Ebola from Christopher Walken? Now that's a helluva story!

[–]SAT4NSLILHELPER 40 points41 points ago

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I am going to read the shit out of this.

[–]Iamsacdaddy 12 points13 points ago

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in the bathroom

[–]jedxix 27 points28 points ago

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If only i had this last night.

[–]Collaterlie_Sisters 22 points23 points ago

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This. Is. Amazing.

(And rather helpful.)

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago*

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I know someone who fucked Walken.

Edit: my ex gf's aunt had an affair with him for a while in the 80s. Didn't die.

[–]2E1HSB 7 points8 points ago

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I knew someone who fucked Walken.

FTFY

[–]elcarath 1 point2 points ago

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There simply are not enough upvotes for you. That is quite possibly the highlight of my day.

[–]PocketTheFerret 80 points81 points ago

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So would you say that after said sex you would have... puts on sunglasses... trouble Walken?

[–]TheMadWoodcutter 7 points8 points ago

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[–]Suddenly_Boobs 41 points42 points ago

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[–]floppypick 5 points6 points ago

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Ugh... it's 3:30am and I was going to go to bed.

[–]banana_almighty 8 points9 points ago

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That was more than just boobs. Not that I'm complaining or anything.

[–]shark_eat_your_face 1 point2 points ago

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I like you. I should click on your links more often.

[–]gosslot 17 points18 points ago

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As a straight guy, I would be shocked for life. Never be able to sit down again while peeing.

[–]TheDude- 10 points11 points ago

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I gotta fever and the only prescription is more sex on the toilet.

[–]okaylogarithm 171 points172 points ago

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[–]Cintax 55 points56 points ago

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I'm amused by the fact that you can always see their nipples through their clothing...

[–]Legolaa 17 points18 points ago

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We live in a cold world...

[–]mattmcinnis 28 points29 points ago

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Holy nipples Batman!

[–]DigitalSarcasm 15 points16 points ago

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Holy crap, music on MTV.

[–]TanStoney 4 points5 points ago

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The animation reminds me of Captain Planet...

[–]jupiterkansas 9 points10 points ago

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that led me here

[–]callmejelly 3 points4 points ago

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That was great, I love the "balloon" animals one.

[–]Wulibo 2 points3 points ago

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My favourite was the one at the end, for the fruit flavoured ones.

[–]AccipiterF1 1 point2 points ago

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Scooter Girl for the win!

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 1 point2 points ago

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Why are these so boneriffic?

[–]rosel311 67 points68 points ago

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TIL nobody wears underwear anymore...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Also, "WC"? Who uses that (in the States)?

[–]jeff61813 3 points4 points ago

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No one I saw the initials once overseas and it took me about day to get it meant water closet.

[–]mynameisgoose 4 points5 points ago

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I had no idea what it meant either until I played Breath of Fire II on SNES. Doors marked WC would always lead to a toilet; which for whatever odd reason was a big part of this game.

[–]Semajal 172 points173 points ago

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The last one is the only slightly feasible one. In the others they are all clearly still wearing clothes. Also the man in the bathroom stall could have been fapping, thus being totally ready for a girl on a trolley to burst though the door.

I put too much thought into that.

[–]JRutterbush 237 points238 points ago

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You've never seen a spontaneously raging boner rip through two layers of intact fabric with a single thrust?

Wow, you must live such a sheltered life...

[–]GlassSoldier 82 points83 points ago

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I do it all the time, that's why I call mine Shredder

[–]cefriano 56 points57 points ago

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I call mine The Blunderbuss. My testicles are named Hamilton and Burr.

[–]Zalbu 29 points30 points ago

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I call mine Junior, because... you know...

sighs

[–]SvenHudson 14 points15 points ago

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Ironically.

[–]Cyberboss_JHCB 5 points6 points ago

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Self-Esteem: Saved

[–]Wulibo 1 point2 points ago

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My name is Mack. People assume this is why I call mine Little Mack, but it's actually a reference to Punch-Out; it beats the shit out of some "king hippo."

[–]procrasticator 2 points3 points ago

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is Hamilton still intact?

[–]vesperae 1 point2 points ago

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Sooo.. one of your testicles killed the other in a duel?

[–]cefriano 4 points5 points ago

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Not yet, but I see that as the inevitable conclusion.

[–]CKtalon 8 points9 points ago

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Need proof...for science!

[–]JRutterbush 7 points8 points ago

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My place or yours?

[–]Improudtoreddit 9 points10 points ago

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Both of you... My place. Been a while since I've gotten any.

[–]DreadPirateKinch 148 points149 points ago

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I almost want to believe this is an advert for a porno version of Final Destination.

[–]Ryugi 79 points80 points ago

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I would watch that movie.

Starts at a party. Guy walks in on his best friend fucking his sister, wakes up and it was a dream.

Guy stops his best friend from fucking his sister.

But now, negative karma/devil wants more people to fuck to make up for the lack of fucks.

This would be one hell of a porno.

[–]PhotonMalaise 12 points13 points ago

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Best. Idea. EVER.

[–]fishtacos4evry1 11 points12 points ago

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[–]SkyrimFTWFTW 2 points3 points ago

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Rule 34: proccessing

[–]roadbuzz 70 points71 points ago

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These are the only scenarios in which I might lose my virginity.

[–]insufferabletoolbag 22 points23 points ago

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challenge accepted

[–]Owwin 28 points29 points ago

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Wait MTV nooooo! If people start having safe sex, how will you be able to produce such quality programming as 16 and pregnant!

[–][deleted] 608 points609 points ago*

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I sure wish it was.

[–]theLastHokage 899 points900 points ago

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I was pooping in peace and then BAM sex.

[–]mrupyours13 95 points96 points ago

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It is always advisable to wear condom while pooping

[–]slipperyfist 146 points147 points ago

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This is why I always poop into a condom. It makes a decoy penis that takes the aggro so I can escape.

[–]Pathlessflame 92 points93 points ago

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wat

[–]DLXII 13 points14 points ago

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That right there is called an Alaskan Pipeline, sonny boy! Yeehaw!

[–]Bucky_Ohare 2 points3 points ago

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You have to freeze it first...

[–]1Forward2Back 46 points47 points ago

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The old Alaskan pipeline.

[–]MellowMallow 8 points9 points ago

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[–]jedxix 2 points3 points ago

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Mother of god!

[–]ressMox 4 points5 points ago*

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I've heard somewhere that they actually test toilets by cramming condoms with some poop-like substance and flushing it to see if it clogs or not.

[–]FreeToadSloth 1 point2 points ago

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The omission of a poster showing this creative alternate scenario is somewhat troubling.

[–]Xenoo[S] 1363 points1364 points ago

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Still a better love story than twilight.

[–]ok_ill_shut_up 337 points338 points ago

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This is the only one I've actually ever laughed at. You should be proud.

[–]Xenoo[S] 224 points225 points ago

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It's the first, and probably last time, I will ever use this reference. I'm glad you got a kick out of it good sir/madam.

[–]washburnee 48 points49 points ago

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yeah I hate that reference but hell...this one surely did made me laugh. Have a good day sir!

[–]DontTagMe 17 points18 points ago

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Wait a minute, the guy pooping is Christopher Walken. Lucky bastard.

[–]Jjfire 43 points44 points ago

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Guess she didn't just... Walk in!

[–]dekks 11 points12 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]DLXII 59 points60 points ago

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[–]unconventionalspork 26 points27 points ago

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i dont even

[–]bingblondie 14 points15 points ago

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But Kristen can't expression face make?

[–]titsmcgee88 11 points12 points ago

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This is really antisocial and terrible. I approve.

[–]workpl 21 points22 points ago

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The Japanese porn industry is currently busy drawing this story.

[–]jjesusfreak01 20 points21 points ago

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4chan is leaking again...

[–]banzai33 6 points7 points ago

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Yup, that's enough reddit for today

[–]ag04 6 points7 points ago

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Casa blumpkin?

[–]otwa 1 point2 points ago

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That's better than the opposite

[–]ridik_ulass 14 points15 points ago

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I don't know, that 3rd guy looks like he may have ripped his banjo string depending on the "fit", and you don't wanna rip your banjo string.

[–]inspectHERgadget 1 point2 points ago

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seriously.. how much do roller blades cost?

[–]blake_n 1 point2 points ago

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Raise awareness about Kony? Have you seen the front page in the past week?

[–]BigBoy990 53 points54 points ago

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"What? She tripped, fell, landed on his dick?"

[–]freethrowtommy 11 points12 points ago

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Came here for the Eminem quote... didn't leave disappointed.

[–]opie92 37 points38 points ago

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So am I supposed to wear a condom at all times, just in case?

[–]docmedic 10 points11 points ago

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Isn't a condom going to break considering the force of those impacts ripped through two layers of fabric at least?

[–]ImSeeingRed 15 points16 points ago

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That's what it suggests, so yes

[–]el_chapitan 4 points5 points ago

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You mean you're not wearing one now?

[–]DaUltraMarine 1 point2 points ago

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Even if you don't, DM;HS

[–]therandom83 13 points14 points ago

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The real question here is how they get the underwear off midair.

[–]SvenHudson 14 points15 points ago

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At that point they're flying so fast the air friction burns it away.

[–]Smoogy 1 point2 points ago

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velcro!

[–]StealthTomato 12 points13 points ago

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The 90s were weird.

[–]AffableJack 4 points5 points ago

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Weird and awesome.

[–]Kappies10 88 points89 points ago

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I got the wierdest boner.

[–]poignard 79 points80 points ago

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I have the most accidental boner

[–]insnoad 71 points72 points ago

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Put a condom on fast, better safe than sorry.

[–]Socrates88 7 points8 points ago

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I don't have a boner at all. there was a joke in here somewhere but now I'm just digging a deeper unfunny hole. And deep I shall go.

[–]dt26 4 points5 points ago

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If you're digging in the unfunny hole then it's generally better that you do at least chub up.

[–]a_lot_of_fish 15 points16 points ago

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All I could think was "Crushed and mangled penises. Crushed and mangled penises everywhere."

[–]FatCat433 3 points4 points ago

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So you've seen my collection.

[–]NavajoMX 8 points9 points ago

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And that kids is how I met your mother.

[–]Mordarto 18 points19 points ago

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I'm trying to wrap my head around the physics of the last one. The woman slips, fall backwards, so shouldn't her momentum carry her head first on the trolley rather than feet first?

If the trolley was on the bottom of the stairs, then will the momentum from her fall backwards be enough to carry her down the stairs?

[–]AnSOS 10 points11 points ago

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It really is pissing me off.

[–]anangrybanana 8 points9 points ago

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Lindsay Lohan's career really took a dive when she had to do that last PSA strip.

[–]stop_juststop 15 points16 points ago

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Lindsay Lohan's career took a dive when she... made every single choice she's ever made.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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Not Mean Girls!

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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From the looks of the campaign, sex could indeed be an accident.

[–]Trolliverr 5 points6 points ago

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Coming from MTV? I'm surprised, yet impressed.

[–]MushroomSlap 12 points13 points ago

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Mitch Hedberg is always prepared for surprise bicycle sex.

[–]Capappy 12 points13 points ago

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these are some of the best pro condom advertisements i have ever seen. makes me want to hang them up next to every condom machine in every bathroom

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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This is not funny. They're making fun of a very serious condition. Plenty of young women have vaginas with a mind of their own. Help stop vaginal mind control. Donate money to your nearest vaginal mind control charity.

[–]EldritchCarrot 10 points11 points ago

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I remember I was once on a fourm and some idiot was complaining about how these adverts encouraged rape.

[–]r3verse_ 9 points10 points ago

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cant wait for srs to say the same thing ಠ_ಠ

[–]northbayray 53 points54 points ago

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Anyone else tired of hearing people say "but I don't LIKE to use condoms"? Motherfucker, you're getting laid. Throw a raincoat on and deal with it!

[–]oofgeg 35 points36 points ago

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[–]runs_with_scissors82 2 points3 points ago

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that's a happy accident!

[–]BradManThompson 3 points4 points ago

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Oh come on guys, the last one was ridiculous, could never happen. I''ve had first-hand experience in the first two though.

[–]svullenballe 2 points3 points ago

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Happy little accidents.

[–]the_people_must_know 2 points3 points ago

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this actually turned me on... specially the second one

[–]DonaldMcRonald 5 points6 points ago

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Because you have a gay-dude-that's-clearly-not-into-it fantasy?

[–]bakonydraco 3 points4 points ago

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Sooo how'd you two meet?

[–]xBGMx 3 points4 points ago

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Thought of this quote:

Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker. After coming home from a hard day's work, he walks in the door of his trailer park home to find his wife in bed with another man.

Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit? (What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?!) Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady But think about the baby before you get all crazy

[–]stabberthomas[!] 2 points3 points ago

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Love the Jazz-hands in all the ending frames.

[–]2balls 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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The guys sits in public bathrooms with a boner?

[–]1upforever 35 points36 points ago

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You don't?

[–]Captain_Aizen 2 points3 points ago

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Fuck it. I am now convinced that sex CAN be an accident.

[–]saltycleaver 2 points3 points ago

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Something tells me that the gentleman in the second comic was inconvenienced and felt much more disgusted than the lady.

[–]st3dav 2 points3 points ago*

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Then how come every woman I've been with says it was?

Edit: Doesn't matter

[–]Lambpanties 5 points6 points ago

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No no you're confusing "accident" with "mistake" foreverbro.

[–]pomegranati 2 points3 points ago

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what is "WC"? When I was in vietnam, I see "WC" on public restrooms. What does it mean?

[–]That_Russian_Guy 5 points6 points ago

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Water Closet, basically the same thing as bathroom

[–]ball_cancer 2 points3 points ago

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I'd like to believe this is the way I was conceived, because my parents sure as shit never had sex.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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The worst part is that that roller blade guy is obviously gay. He must be horrified.

[–]hozjo 2 points3 points ago

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Sex can definitely be an accident, usually when tequila is involved.

[–]AdorablyDead 1 point2 points ago

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All of these seem plausible to me.

[–]diamondcutters 1 point2 points ago

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I need to learn how to roller skate.

[–]bkelly 1 point2 points ago

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if i had a nickle...

[–]standardguy 1 point2 points ago

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Dear penthouse.......

[–]pubicstaticvoid 1 point2 points ago

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so 90's.

[–]DangerousDetlef 1 point2 points ago

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That's why I'm always walking around with a boner. Some day, it'll happen. Some day.

[–]PETC 1 point2 points ago

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Second one looks like Cyril Figgis.

[–]WazzuMadBro 1 point2 points ago

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According to these MTV comics, apparently only blondes have sex on accident

[–]Lord_Vectron 1 point2 points ago

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I can think of at least THREE scenarios where sex could be an accident!

[–]vomiting_butthole 1 point2 points ago

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Fucking while pooping. It's no accident.

[–]mchengl 1 point2 points ago

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Since they are wearing clothes, I can only imagine the pain of the man's penis when it pierces through two sets of undergarments.

[–]hawaiiandave 1 point2 points ago

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These are the three exceptions though. They can't be blamed for forgetting a condom.

[–]401vs401 1 point2 points ago

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I'm now waiting for a story about an actual accidental sex from a fellow redditor...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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It was no accident, clearly the man planned it all therefore it is rape.

[–]googolplexbyte 1 point2 points ago

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Is there a manslaughter equivalent to rape?

[–]Neverkilled 1 point2 points ago

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I think I just found my new fetish.

[–]ephr 1 point2 points ago

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poor poor women.

[–]prettyawkwardpenguin 1 point2 points ago

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That's what she said about me in court. Turns out 'I slipped and fell (repeatedly)' is not a valid excuse

[–]goddessofwaterpolo 1 point2 points ago

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Doesn't matter had sex

[–]KMart27 1 point2 points ago

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So....much.....repost..,

[–]coyote1284 1 point2 points ago

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I'm wearing a condom right now, just in case.

[–]SmilinWillie 1 point2 points ago

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"I swear officer I was just skating down the street and it happened" seems legit

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]JETRUG 1 point2 points ago

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Reminded me of this. [NSFW]

[–]EzekielTombs 1 point2 points ago

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Wait isn't one of MTV's most popular shows about the mating habits of guidos?

[–]thavi 1 point2 points ago

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Aren't condoms in MTV's own worst interest? They need as many brainless, poorly-parented teens as they can harvest.

[–]Isaiah97 1 point2 points ago

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...And that's how I met your mother.