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top 200 commentsshow all 248

[–]TheCocktopus 169 points170 points ago

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The "child safety tips" one isn't real. It's from The Onion. I suspect at least some of the others are fake as well.

[–]msk105 61 points62 points ago

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Exhibit B: the coach and the teen student seem to have switched faces...

Or, that's one ugly woman...

[–]LaughingHyene14 22 points23 points ago

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Or they're both men...

[–]Mikesizachrist 14 points15 points ago

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thats racist

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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That's gay?

[–]finch42 11 points12 points ago

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That's homophobic.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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That's black.

[–]amazingmaximo 13 points14 points ago

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that's racist!

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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...Damn!

[–]happyhappyjoejoe 6 points7 points ago

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[–]Fylgja 3 points4 points ago

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That's racist.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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...Damn!

[–]malomonster 12 points13 points ago

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[–]Kitty_dog 0 points1 point ago

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Oh my god...

[–]floridamike 73 points74 points ago

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there's that little bastard who threw the pinecone

[–]klsi832 8 points9 points ago

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Don't call him little bastard, call him Snake.

[–]yomeettintin 81 points82 points ago

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[–]revchu 20 points21 points ago

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[–]mefansandfreaks 22 points23 points ago

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[–]leftabitcharlie 10 points11 points ago

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[–]shinobiboix 5 points6 points ago

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Is there a video of this somewhere?

[–]JTR679 3 points4 points ago

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[–]99redball00ns 34 points35 points ago

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Just curious, what day does kick a ginger day fall on?

[–]bobdanoob 57 points58 points ago

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I looked it up. Any day of the week that ends in a "Y" is Kick a Ginger day.

[–]metalmusicatheism 18 points19 points ago

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Ain't that be all them days?

[–]Aiskhulos 9 points10 points ago

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thatsthejoke.jpg

[–]jayz99z 6 points7 points ago

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[–]PhifeFromATCQ 27 points28 points ago

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That Darren wants a drama free relationship one cracks me up everytime

[–]Notwafle 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah I lost my shit there.

[–]TheLighterDark 2 points3 points ago

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Me too! The look on his face (or, erm, the mask) is just too much for me to handle.

[–]ThePiggle 48 points49 points ago

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"Man forced to eat beard." I laughed far too much at this.

[–]mysunnyday 33 points34 points ago

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I've seen that screenshot maybe 10 times and I always thought it said "Man forced to eat bread." like he was on atkins and someone made him eat a dinner roll >_<

[–]hanapyon 3 points4 points ago

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i thought it said "bird" :F

[–]counters14 1 point2 points ago

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Wait wait wait, it doesn't say bird? wtf?

[–]Rainfly_X 2 points3 points ago

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Same here. Not sure which is funniest: beard, bread, or bird.

[–]nxuul 3 points4 points ago

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That actually happened in Lexington, KY. I remember seeing it on the news.

[–]kamiltonian_dynamics 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah, the story was weird, even with my expectations about it going in.

[–]March_Hare 2 points3 points ago

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The mouth to face ratio is amazing.

[–]DOSbomber 1 point2 points ago

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Here's the source. $20 for a lawn mower is purdy dern cheap!

[–]duvakiin 22 points23 points ago

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Chase must be one rude son of a bitch

[–]OptimusDimebag 13 points14 points ago

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Drinks from the carton, leaves the butter out, doesn't tie the bread back up....he's a real dick

[–]Beautifuldays 8 points9 points ago

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Right?! How rude do you have to be that your family drags you onto a talk show to tell you? On the other hand, if you were to tell him at home I guess the worst you would have coming at you is rudeness. He must be one hellova rude bastard.

[–]NoShadowFist 0 points1 point ago

He is the type of hardcore that Jorge aspires to...

[–]gumbogogo 20 points21 points ago

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Lol, I remember Bezow Doo-Doo Zopottybop-Bop-Bop. I heard it first on Reddit, but then saw it later that day on a local news station.

[–]SamsquamtchHunter 5 points6 points ago

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Spokanistan ftw

[–]Aiskhulos 3 points4 points ago

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Spokompton.

[–]BuluDestroyer 0 points1 point ago

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Spoklahoma! also, Spokamsterdam!

In other news, I had no idea that story was from here >.<

[–]leftysarepeople2 2 points3 points ago

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UW-Madison?

[–]kinglewy00 17 points18 points ago

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Addicted to creating Japanese characters online? Don't get it.. Designing manga characters for web comics or something? If so, don't see the problem.

[–]Jinnofthelamp 17 points18 points ago

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Really I think you can just rewrite just about all of the to say "Really wants to be on TV".

[–]Bacontron 11 points12 points ago

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Maybe hentai?

That's what I was thinking

[–]kinglewy00 6 points7 points ago

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True, or yaoi. Still, not in the same league as the rest of those 'classsics' though.

[–]Voidkom 1 point2 points ago

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Probably MMO's or social games like IMVU and club penguin, but japanese.

[–]uconnhusky 275 points276 points ago

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Nothing wrong at all with little Josie.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]uconnhusky 18 points19 points ago

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Good looks :)

[–]tylerg2015 16 points17 points ago

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This made me so happy. I came down to say that the bottom left one is perfectly fine. Just when I was losing hope... :)

[–]klsi832 18 points19 points ago

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She's the one that was born a male named Joey, for others with short term memory problems that didn't want to click again.

[–]darkangelle 1 point2 points ago

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You do God's work, young man/woman. Thank you.

[–]Nymeria_Sand 19 points20 points ago

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So glad you said this, and with much less rage-face than I was going to.

[–]mefansandfreaks 10 points11 points ago

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exactly !! also story

[–]Meikov 36 points37 points ago

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:3

I was braced for all kinds of transphobic comments when I noticed that after clicking. She's adorable.

[–]Calciber 26 points27 points ago

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Glad that someone said it. I was working myself up to an angry rage post. :3

[–]Bubblebath_expert 13 points14 points ago*

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Neither with the proud prostitute, the toilet paper eater, and probably neither with the girl attacked by ants. And most of the rest aren't so terrible either. I'd say the problem is the mediatization of all this bullshit. Telling about Josie on TV is putting her into great risk. The obese girl should be taken care of by professionals, and showing her off as in a freak show won't help.

[–]beliefsarerelative 11 points12 points ago

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This is an interesting point. I'm torn between the media sensation "transgender children" because on the one hand, I'm happy that transgendered folks are being acknowledged, and that parents are getting a chance to get their "side of the story" out there. On the other hand, I hate the media slant that tries to make it seem freakish and scandalous.

[–]uconnhusky 3 points4 points ago

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I see your point, I agree that sensationalizing things like this perpetuates the stereotype that these people have diseases and need to be "cured" to be normal.

[–]jasmaree 3 points4 points ago

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Honestly? I probably wouldn't let a child that age make that decision either.

[–]Meikov 6 points7 points ago

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It's not a decision, it's a diagnosis. Gender Identity Disorder is listed in the DSM.

[–]sherlocktheholmes 0 points1 point ago

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Can you tell us why, please?

[–]jasmaree 0 points1 point ago

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Because kids are silly and he/she may just be thinking of something random and silly to do. If it's nothing serious or permanent, I may as well save them the trouble of being made fun of and save myself the trouble of changing an entire wardrobe and then changing it again. With an older kid, you can see if it's a trend, they'll understand all the implications of it, and they're old enough to buy their own clothes.

Really the same reasons I wouldn't let the kid paint his room red polka dots.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I feel like you're making your judgment based on the screenshot without looking further into the story. People don't usually change their child's gender on a whim; it took years and several visits with specialists and a lot of insistence from Josie before they reached the diagnosis.

[–]wvurxgal 1 point2 points ago

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What about saving the child the trouble of developing secondary sex characteristics that don't match their gender? In children as young as Josie, medication can be given to delay puberty, and when it's time to go through puberty the opposite hormone can be given. You can save the child a lot of pain and stress by preventing the need for some surgeries later in life. Sorry for not being detailed, I'm on my phone.

[–]Mugiwara04 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, this. And also, if hormones are not called for, there is at least a set of drugs that will block the onset of puberty and secondary sex characteristics, allowing the individual to grow up a little more before being required to decide/confirm their indentity.

[–]sherlocktheholmes 1 point2 points ago

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I understand your points, but it seems it really is a permanent thing with Josie. You are right, kids do go through phases. I guess the most important thing to do as a parent is pay attention to what your child needs.

[–]Cockaroach 13 points14 points ago

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Gary Spivey looks legit.

[–]heyimrick 8 points9 points ago

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You can tell by his expression.

[–]MikeTheInfidel 7 points8 points ago

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He's obviously psychicing. You can tell from his eyes.

[–]Cockaroach 7 points8 points ago

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The hair only serves to focus his energy.

[–]gnarlymarlee 94 points95 points ago

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What's wrong with the boy that was happier as a girl...? :|

[–]skullybones 25 points26 points ago

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i thought they were all funny until i came upon that one. not only is it hard for the child to go through processes like that, but it's also very straining on the parent's emotions, but if everyone is happy, then i am

[–]beliefsarerelative 9 points10 points ago

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My friends and I were reading this, laughing our heads off till we got to that last one. Fuck this. Bigotry ruining a perfectly good joke.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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This isn't the first time reddit has surprised me with transphobia.

[–]dishie 44 points45 points ago

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I feel really bad for that morbidly obese 5 year old. She doesn't control what food is in her home and what is given to her. Fuck her parents, they need to be arrested.

[–]Ananasboat 31 points32 points ago

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I remember that episode, actually. It was from a loong time ago. She and her brother have a rare disorder where they never feel full. They're permanently starving. They were born at around 30 pounds each, which is huge for babies, and they just kept growing.

Feel bad for the kids, sure, but don't blame the parents.

[–]anonamys 24 points25 points ago

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If it is Prader-Willi syndrome... It is up to the parents to keep them from overeating. Yes, it seriously sucks to be hungry all the time, so I feel bad for the kid (and for adults with this syndrome). I can't even imagine how much it must suck. But it is up to the parents to keep the food locked up for the child's health. What a 5-year-old eats is up to the parent. The child might be obese no matter how much the parent tries, but 230 pounds is beyond the pale. (And these kids are usually born underweight and have feeding problems early on, so it is not typical for Prader-Willi kids to be overweight as toddlers.) People with Prader Willi often have global developmental delays and may never live independently.

[–]Cajass 8 points9 points ago

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Such a horrible syndrome. I read about a young girl who started eating her own skin when her mother put her on a diet.

[–]dishie 12 points13 points ago

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Holy shit fuck.

[–]UNEification 5 points6 points ago

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I think it's called Prader-Willi syndrome, for the curious

[–]thatisRON 20 points21 points ago

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I really hope that the Obama/Biden one is faked

[–]airmandan 0 points1 point ago

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It's Fox "News."

[–]Angelus_Wolter 6 points7 points ago

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bottom left... what is so funny about that exactly? ಠ_ಠ

[–]Newestmember 5 points6 points ago

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Anyone else notice the face swap on "Coach marries student"?

[–]Chaster321 6 points7 points ago

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I regret nothing, that cheeseburger was delicious.

[–]thetoneranger 2 points3 points ago

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Gary Spivey is bob ross's cousin.

[–]MariachiMan 1 point2 points ago

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The teen werewolves story was from my brother's highschool.

[–]suckerswag 2 points3 points ago

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What's James Franco doing up on the top right?

[–]WillBlaze 5 points6 points ago

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Why did I look up the episode with "I'm happy I cut off my legs". People are crazy as hell.

[–]D_for_Drive 2 points3 points ago

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[–]oval_volvo 2 points3 points ago

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wow that was... something

[–]MedicalMechanica 3 points4 points ago

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Dwight you ignorant slut.

[–]TheScarletPimpernel 8 points9 points ago

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The pooping girl is pretty damn hot.

[–]BuluDestroyer 1 point2 points ago

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I was looking for this post!

Pooping is my favorite part of the day, me and her have a lot in common

[–]ivvy2340 2 points3 points ago

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The caption on the bottom left corner is sad but, everything else was pretty funny/horribly sad.

[–]machetebrownsugar69 2 points3 points ago

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AMERICA FUCK YEAH!!

[–]acidbones 2 points3 points ago

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Was going to upvote until I got to the one about the little girl. Sorry, reddit needs to learn that transphobia is unacceptable.

[–]iBuzzKill 2 points3 points ago

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I'm pretty sure the one about the pedophile is from the Onion..

[–]Ilikepineapplez 6 points7 points ago

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Chase: Family says he's rude.

[–]SpermWhale 6 points7 points ago

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Child Safety Tips from a Former Pedohile

ಠ_ಠ

[–]stinkpiqle 18 points19 points ago

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That's from The Onion hahaha.

[–]Underdogg13 2 points3 points ago

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As bad as it may seem, as long as a pedophile gave genuine advice, that'd be the best advice you could probably get on the matter.

[–]Vectr0n 4 points5 points ago

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What's weird about the one in the bottom left? Seems like a reasonable explanation.

[–]bettedavisthighs 2 points3 points ago

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Nothing at all is wrong with her. It's just a display typical transphobia.

[–]whitewateractual 2 points3 points ago

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"Obama / Biden. Osama Bin Laden. Coincidence?" Did Fox News really run a segment on that?

[–]JoshDhainin 1 point2 points ago

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I know the ginger one is Crome The Onion but I don't know about the rest

[–]Rainfly_X 0 points1 point ago

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So is the pedophile one.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Good ol' Bob.

[–]dem_onions 1 point2 points ago

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The facial expression of Bob makes me lose it every time

[–]FABULOUS_fo_sho 1 point2 points ago

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I used to throw pinecones all the time! Son of a Bitch! Where is my 15 mins of fame!!! >:O

[–]17Hongo 1 point2 points ago

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As far as I know, the going rate for a single cheeseburger is a blowjob, so you are going to have to go that extra mile for a double...

[–]slemptastrophe 2 points3 points ago

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Back in '93 a blowjob was worth multiple double cheeseburgers. Inflation.

[–]VapeApe 1 point2 points ago

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Wasn't the white fro guy on the original cut of The Secret? I'm pretty sure he was. They recut it and took out the overt crazies, but left the crazies willing to put on suits.

[–]Captain_Aizen 1 point2 points ago

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2 billion % sure huh.... That guy's pretty confident.

[–]mixa0 1 point2 points ago

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once i read "kick a ginger day victim," i couldn't stop laughing to get through the rest

[–]Disconsolate 1 point2 points ago

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I loved the onion one that slipped in there :-p.

[–]HYPERNATURL 1 point2 points ago

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[–]discoinfernape 1 point2 points ago

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don't we all Skeletor, don't we all

[–]h_lehmann 0 points1 point ago

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At what point do we just drag the Gary Spiveys, Rickey Lakes, Jerry Sringers, and Dr Phils of this world out of their homes, into the town square, and behead them all for the common good of the civilized world?

[–]CMDBob 1 point2 points ago

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Don't forget Jeremy Fucking Kyle. Hate that guy.

[–]sp4ce 1 point2 points ago

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I really want to know more about the chick who loves pooping.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Lost my shit at Darren.

[–]Jennyd242 1 point2 points ago

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I lost it at 'man was forced to eat bread'.

[–]subtasticdan 1 point2 points ago

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I worked at Tyra and Maury. I remember those guests.

[–]George_H_W_Kush 1 point2 points ago

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The pedophile one is from the onion.

[–]newsgentry 1 point2 points ago

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It really bothers me that this is a collection of weird, gross, funny, and pathetic people's talk show headlines and the story of a transgendered child is grouped in with all of them. Downvoted

[–]diskx 1 point2 points ago

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Darren just needs to meet a nice/down to earth girl

[–]HOLYmcCOWan 1 point2 points ago

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The obese girl, Jessica, has lost most her weight: Jessica YouTube

[–]Beautifuldays 0 points1 point ago

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No one is freaking creeped out by the cut off his own legs guy?! He did it with a circular saw, WHO DOES THIS ಠ_ಠ

[–]WorkingStiff 2 points3 points ago

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Jerry Springer segment that it came from. You're not going to be less creeped out by watching this.

[–]Beautifuldays 0 points1 point ago

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WHY DID I CLICK?! It was the allure of the link, gets me every time :( And yes, infinitely more creeped out.

[–]Meikov 2 points3 points ago

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People with body integrity identity disorder. It's pretty outlandish and gets gawked at a lot, but it's real and very sad for the person that goes through it.

[–]Beautifuldays 0 points1 point ago

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I agree, I can't imagine feeling that way. Are they able to get help with therapy or medication?

[–]Vectr0n 2 points3 points ago

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Disorder called apotemnophilia.

[–]Trinexx56 0 points1 point ago

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I've actually met that guy before. Real name is Mason, prefers to go by Sandra. Aside from the whole "wears a dress, cut his own legs off, huffs paint thinner, likes to shoot up with poop" bit, he was pretty cool.

A goddamn lunatic, but good company.

[–]Beautifuldays 0 points1 point ago

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I'm sorry, what?! Shoot up with poop? Is that some new thing I am unaware exists?

[–]Trinexx56 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, he went through a phase where he thought it was cool to inject his own excrement under his kneecaps.

Like I said, guy's a fucking lunatic.

[–]Beautifuldays 0 points1 point ago

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Oh wow, I don't even know what to say. That sounds awful in so many levels, from having something injected under your knee caps to injecting yourself to drawing up poo to inject, just wtf man, wtf.

[–]Trinexx56 1 point2 points ago

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Haha, Sandra is one big bag of WTF. I haven't seen him since he sliced through his other leg, but I've heard that he's become much less batshit insane recently.

If that's the case, I'd rather not know. I prefer my current memory of him: The absolute fucking lunatic who wears a dress, huffs paint thinner, waves his dick at people (dude's fucking hung, btw), and cuts his own limbs off.

[–]Beautifuldays 0 points1 point ago

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Is he still hung or is she unhung? A circular saw though, dude, wtf? I can't imagine coming back from that particular brand of batshit insane. I watched the clip and saw him moving his nubs and stuff and he seems pretty pleased. I, um, enjoy my legs kind of a lot and after working at a hospital for a while having a wheelchair isn't something I would like to do to myself. Especially with a circular saw ಠ_ಠ

[–]Trinexx56 1 point2 points ago

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Still hung. Like a tube-sock filled with sand. At last check, his psychiatrist wouldn't sign off on the final operation. As for his legs, well, as he said, he just didn't want them. To each their own, I suppose.

As for the circular saw, well... how would YOU do it? :P

[–]Beautifuldays 0 points1 point ago

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Since you have posed the question, I honestly don't know. It's like a fail safe in my mind that won't really let me explore that as an option. I guess if you're going to then that's one way. I am not really surprised the therapist won't sign off on the surgery, it's kind of hard to judge someone's mental status with the whole cut off my own legs thing. Edit: Tube sock filled with sand huh? That's one hell of a visualization you have provided there...

[–]iRooMba 1 point2 points ago

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Meanwhile in America....

[–]partanimal 3 points4 points ago

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Pretty sure they aren't all from the US.

[–]RAtheRuggedMan 0 points1 point ago

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Was that girl's 14-year old sister named Randy Bobandy?

[–]scamperly 0 points1 point ago

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coach marries teen student one, they both have the same face

[–]anfea2004 0 points1 point ago

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I like Darren the best

[–]clayides 0 points1 point ago

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The guy in the top right is Bill Cosby's son.

[–]D2Lblast 0 points1 point ago

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what's up with the coaches face

[–]wesman212 0 points1 point ago

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The power of the close-up shot here is unreal.

[–]herbert_andy 0 points1 point ago

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that teen wolf one actually happened in my neighborhood haha a bunch of strange teenagers bite each other and pretend to be wolfs one of them killed a dog.

[–]getsuei 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone else notice something wrong about the "Coach Marries Teen Student" photo? Looks face swapped. That, or she has a really manly face.

[–]tsissy 0 points1 point ago

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The dude with the sweet name is from Madison.

[–]suspicious_quote 0 points1 point ago

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"They're actually called chyrons." -That Guy

[–]kendrahwithanh 0 points1 point ago

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I need to watch so much more maury.

[–]SpaceCowboy734 0 points1 point ago

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Did Bill Cosby have a bastard son? (upper right)

[–]EnSandy 0 points1 point ago

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Some of those were from the onion ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Amurica.

[–]mintmarshall 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Fxckyorkcity 0 points1 point ago

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darren just needs to meet the right girl

[–]asmara124 0 points1 point ago

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Am I the one to notice most of these are from Maury?

[–]budperson 0 points1 point ago

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I lost ALL my shit at Darren.

[–]wotererio 0 points1 point ago

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Fuckin' 'merica

[–]black19 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Nebz604 0 points1 point ago

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Some are fake and some are from programs like Jerry Springer.. so fake as well.

[–]Bitrandombit 0 points1 point ago

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Nothing wrong with the girl obsessed with pooping, so is any middle age man that works in a cubicle 8 hours a day.

[–]roper1 0 points1 point ago

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REPOST

[–]gankula 0 points1 point ago

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Lmao teen werewolves and loving to poop. Wow.

[–]poopsmith666 0 points1 point ago

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coach marries teen student is a face swap, funny nonetheless

[–]Mightymaas 0 points1 point ago

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I'm not just sure, I'm 2 billion percent sure!

[–]Neogodfather 0 points1 point ago

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I lost it at the guy in the mask

[–]ImaginaryJello 0 points1 point ago

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Dwight looks like Zach Galifianakis with a mullet.

[–]thepumaman 0 points1 point ago

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WOOOO! VMI BASKETBALL REPRESENT!!!!

[–]tehgama95 0 points1 point ago

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skeletor don't want no drama.

[–]P-Stayne27 0 points1 point ago

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I'm not saying that's a repost but, that's a repost.

[–]VisionStadium 0 points1 point ago

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The amount of these you remember is a fair judge of how long you've been on the internet.

[–]TheSpie 0 points1 point ago

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Gary Spivey

Pools Open

[–]Sobertese 0 points1 point ago

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Gary spivey: spaceballs extra

[–]ejduck3744 0 points1 point ago

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In a McCain political ad back in 2008, there was a woman who had the caption "failed abortion." I was disappointed when that was not on there.

[–]ramsrgood 0 points1 point ago

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that obama/biden one is classic fox "news".

[–]Brianne123 0 points1 point ago

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I'm at work and I had to stop reading because I was grinning like a retard. "Kick a Ginger Day" broke me.

[–]danglar 0 points1 point ago

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Personal problems.

[–]salmiha 0 points1 point ago

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I loved Gary Spivey and his white wig :)

[–]StoveJam 0 points1 point ago

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I hope one of the 34 men is the father.....holy shit...

[–]Andrew_mueller1019 2 points3 points ago

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I actually want to say the one about the kid who went to heaven is actually a great story. Saying I had the same problem he had and also almost died a few weeks ago

[–]fiddlercrabs 5 points6 points ago

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Did you go to heaven, too?

[–]Andrew_mueller1019 0 points1 point ago

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No I didn't die I was dying though

[–]fiddlercrabs 5 points6 points ago

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I almost died twice recently. High fives for cheating death.

[–]Andrew_mueller1019 2 points3 points ago

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Fuck yeah

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Also too bad his parents forced him to earn them money/popularity by spilling out lies.

[–]Andrew_mueller1019 0 points1 point ago

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I have no opinion really I just read the book and enjoyed it. I haven't looked at any of the stuff calling it fake I just enjoyed reading a moving story