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top 200 commentsshow all 347

[–]Shooper_Scooper 544 points545 points ago

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Don't worry, I found a picture of this actually happening.

[–]Artificialx 77 points78 points ago

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You win the internet for today.

[–]aperx 37 points38 points ago

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Came to see someone make this pic, was not disappointed.

[–]mexipimpin 7 points8 points ago

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It was the light-saber swap that did it for me.

[–]Dagus_Prophet 13 points14 points ago

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I read the letter and said, "I'm going to the comments to see the epic picture someone is guaranteed to have created depicting this madness." Thank you, Shooper_Scooper.

[–]peteman458 29 points30 points ago

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he was right, that it is pretty dang sweet

[–]radiorock9 8 points9 points ago

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+5 internet

[–]aidan878 1 point2 points ago

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500+ awesomeness

[–]tusocalypse 5 points6 points ago

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Expect many upvotes for this, Sir or Madam.

[–]BlueMunky 5 points6 points ago

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If I could change my desktop background at work, it would be this.

[–]omfghi2u 1 point2 points ago

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That unicorn is totally metal.

[–]BKS_ELITE 1 point2 points ago

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Yes

[–]Convolsion 1 point2 points ago

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I'm happy to announce; this is my new iPhone wallpaper. Credit to this fine artist right here.

[–]SlingerOGrady 1 point2 points ago

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Oh thank god someone made it a reality!

[–]Seanjohn2800 1 point2 points ago

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I'm crying....it's just so beautiful

[–]sethadam1 1 point2 points ago

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I logged in just to upvote you. Maybe your post reach 1000. God speed.

[–]keelsc 569 points570 points ago

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I demand a picture of said drawing

[–]hdadeathly[S] 718 points719 points ago

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[–]BeardedAxWound 229 points230 points ago

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kid is wayyy too happy to receive those doughnuts

[–]Lazorbadger 250 points251 points ago

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Marvelis.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ryansoper 33 points34 points ago

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LASER UNICORN DOUGHNUT HORN!

[–]Farky16 98 points99 points ago

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NO! THE DONUT UNICORN DOESNT HAVE THE LASER, THE SPACE SHUTTLE UNICORN DOES! GOD, YOU NEVER LISTEN!

[–]ryansoper 0 points1 point ago

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But... I was talking about the Laser Unicorn!

[–]KeswickPinhead 1 point2 points ago

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Marbles.

[–]heavensclowd 34 points35 points ago

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I think that is the weather guy in his promised handcrafted throne of platinum, gold, and jewels being served donuts via unicorn-servant horn within the great Ultra Lord of the Universe's 200 story castle.

[–]rattulator 1 point2 points ago

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oooh, platinum, i thought it said plutonium...

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points ago

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how the fuck does a child properly spell doughnuts? That's like one of the most commonly misspelled words ever.

[–]and1li 79 points80 points ago

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the great Ultra Lord of the Universe knows everything duh.

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points ago

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except how to spell marvelous.

[–]JustThinkingAboutIt 89 points90 points ago

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He wasn't trying to spell marvelous. He was correctly spelling malvelis. You are going to have a tough time as a slave if you don't start studying up on our Great Ultra Lord of the Universe's English Improvement Handbook. No doughnut for you.

[–]Schwinehund 38 points39 points ago

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You don't get doughnuts either. He obviously said marvelis, not malvelis. Those are two entirely different words worth extremely different meanings.

[–]boxedfood 2 points3 points ago

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Marvelis is the name of the unicorn

[–]crispyinc 2 points3 points ago

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and engulfed (see letter)

[–]mershed_perderders 1 point2 points ago

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Uh, clearly the dictionary is incorrect, and has been this whole time.

One does not simply contradict the great Ultra Lord of the Universe.

[–]goodnightspoon 2 points3 points ago

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Especially when the kid is actually OP.

Yeah, I see right through you, Ultra Lord. Rebellion!

[–]itsme_timd 26 points27 points ago*

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We used to have a receptionist that was a bit... special. One day a vendor brought in doughnuts and she put them in the break room and emailed everyone to let them know. In bold, all-caps the email said FREE DOGNUTS IN THE BREAK ROOM!!!

[–]NowISeeTheFunnySide 5 points6 points ago

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Creme filled? Those are my favorite.

[–]itsme_timd 5 points6 points ago

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[–]Macshmayleonaise 12 points13 points ago

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TIL how to spell doughnuts.

[–]tooth2gum_ratio 1 point2 points ago

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I sit here wondering if I ever knew how to spell it or if I always used "donut". 28 years old and already showing signs of Alzheimer's. Damn you father, damn you!

[–]implicate 10 points11 points ago

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And he properly used you're, which is more than I can say for most of my friends.

[–]ruinercollector 5 points6 points ago

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There are two valid spellings of that word.

If in doubt, use the easier spelling: donuts.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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I feel like this came about after everyone misspelled it for a while. What are doughnuts made out of? "do" apparently.

It's like how apron used to be napron, but people kept saying "a napron" and thought it was "an apron"

[–]thinksmart88 2 points3 points ago

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Upvote for the apron fact :D ... Now I am hungry ... :(

[–]im_a_zombie 59 points60 points ago

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That's a big penis

[–]warrenseth 8 points9 points ago

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This is... Marvelis.

[–]anangrybanana 6 points7 points ago

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Wow. OP actually delivered for once.

[–]psych0ranger 6 points7 points ago

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You know you've made it when you sit with your legs extended

[–]SeduceMyMoose 1 point2 points ago

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Idk why but ur comment made me lol, I don't usually truly lol

[–]keelsc 4 points5 points ago

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Many thanks my good sir/madam

[–]leviathing 2 points3 points ago

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Anyone else think that looks like a Bison-unicorn more than the standard Horse-unicorn? Not a criticism, just an interesting path for the young artist to take this in. I can't recall many references to a Bison-unicorn in lore.

[–]me_me_me_me_me_ 1 point2 points ago

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You better be careful that you don't insult the future Great Ultra Lord of the Universe. I'm sure that picture is perfect in every way.

[–]roberthumphry 2 points3 points ago

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you have a massive erection

[–]GlowsticksII 1 point2 points ago

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Perfect

[–]Fast_Rita 1 point2 points ago

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Marvel is!

[–]tdogg650 1 point2 points ago

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marvelis.

[–]stanfan114 1 point2 points ago

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That is glorious.

[–]I_make_things 1 point2 points ago

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That's...that's...the arm of the chair, right?

[–]oilkings 1 point2 points ago

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I was hoping for a picture of the monkey wearing a tuxedo made of bacon riding a unicorn with a lite-saber for a horn on the tip of the space shuttle closing in on mars while engulfed in flames! Anyone on Reddit want to help me out?

[–]Kaffei4Lunch 1 point2 points ago

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LMFAO.

[–]D-Evolve 317 points318 points ago

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I for one welcome our new Overlord, and praise his donut wielding unicorns.

[–]heavensclowd 35 points36 points ago

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Well, most likely we would be slaves to the Ultra Lord of the Universe, unless we can make as good an impression as the local weather man did.

[–]nephiroth 80 points81 points ago

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[–]jf2l 4 points5 points ago

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And now my phone has a background so full of awesome that I envy it.

[–]Has_It 99 points100 points ago

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The handwriting progressively got worse as the awesomeness increased.

[–]tesladrianne 92 points93 points ago

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EXCITEMENT

[–]McGravin 96 points97 points ago

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The sad part is, the school Mr. Ramon visited was Ohio State University.

[–]baberg 10 points11 points ago

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ahem

THE Ohio State University, thank you very much.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]My_Axe_Guy 27 points28 points ago

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Me. I'm left handed and I hate those rings

[–]TwoHands 42 points43 points ago

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How... sinister.

[–]chud1990 9 points10 points ago

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Im guessing he drew that "marvelis" drawing first

[–]lunitabonita 6 points7 points ago

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Or Flint might be left handed.

[–]Raniz 14 points15 points ago

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Funny thing is that when Flint is 35 and über-lord of the universe, he will have forgotten about the meteorologist and enslave him.

tl;dr: No doughnuts for meteorologists.

[–]Kurskovich 10 points11 points ago

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Then one day he will look out the window of his space laser death fortress and see the carcass of Earth, slowly being eaten by giant robot star dragons. He will remember the meteorologist, and the thought will make him sad. As Supreme Ultra-Lord of the universe, he by no means needs to put up with such feelings, so he orders the genocide of the humans and all memory of Earth cleansed from the universe.

[–]Artaxerxes88 35 points36 points ago

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When reading this, all that I could think of was "This kid uses the correct version of 'you're' and 'their' when needed. Why is this so hard for everybody else?"

[–]slayer8a 71 points72 points ago

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Like everything else in the letter, it was scripted by someone older. Monkey in a tuxedo made of bacon was my tip.

[–]MissL 17 points18 points ago

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my four year old uses the word "apparently" in proper context in conversations. Nobody has really taught it to her, she's just picked it up.

She also picks shit up from tv ads and recites them almost word for word after only seeing them a couple of times. "You should get that mascara Mum, it'll increase the volume 10 million times!! ... Mum, what's volume?"

[–]DrunkBerserker 11 points12 points ago

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^ This. At my 4 yr old's annual check up, he was shifting uncomfortably in the paper gown. Right when the doctor asked if he was making 4-5 word sentences & had a decent vocabulary, my son said, "Mom, is this actually necessary? I feel ridiculous in this!!" The doctor just smiled & checked that off. So yeah, this letter doesn't surprise me in the least. Combine a good vocabulary with imagination & you get awesomeness.

[–]MissL 1 point2 points ago

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asked if he was making 4-5 word sentences

that's some pretty low expectations.

also, your kid is awesome

[–]DrunkBerserker 1 point2 points ago

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I thought they were fairly low expectations as well. And thanks! He really is pretty damn cool & the only 4 yr old in the world who knows more about Star Wars than I do!

[–]chemistry_teacher 1 point2 points ago

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The doctor is smart to be asking the question, though. Many physicians do not take the time and miss the most obvious diagnoses. This question ruled out a large number of issues.

And your anecdote was the cutest thing I've read today. :)

[–]chemistry_teacher 1 point2 points ago

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This simple question rules out many conditions. My nephew, who has a mild autism, hardly spoke at all at that age. Yet at this age, autism and all the others are often completely missed by parents and their physicians.

[–]Kurskovich 18 points19 points ago

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I hate to reign in your cynicism but I found some of my old stories from primary school and they were pretty damn lucid. Lots of cloud people glueing dinosaurs together and people with superheroes with no torsos or arms.

My point is that it is pretty hard to judge the authenticity of this. Kids pick up inspiration from anywhere and warp it with their crazy words.

[–]BeMoreCareful 4 points5 points ago

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lucid

[–]itcanwait 4 points5 points ago

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it was the =) at the end for me.

[–]babypinkbutt 3 points4 points ago*

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guy who wrote it was probably a doctor or something...

[–]diggitydan 126 points127 points ago

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reeks of fake. but whatever. here's an upvote anyhow.

[–]94svtcobra 33 points34 points ago

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Yeah, it's fake as shit. Either dictated by an adult and written by a kid, or straight up fake. If anyone is wondering how I could question the integrity of a child's handwriting:

Reddit keywords:

  • Unicorn
  • Doughnuts (spelled like that, rather than the equally correct but easier 'donuts')
  • Monkey wearing tuxedo made of bacon
  • Cyborg unicorn
  • Light saber
  • Space shuttle
  • Space travel to Mars

Other things that shout 'Bullshit':

  • "I will personally make you a throne..." -Imagine this sentence being spoken by a child. The word 'personally' would have been left out if this was written by a child IMO.
  • Very detailed description of robot-animal hybrids using almost exclusively words that guarantee upvotes on Reddit
  • The smiley face at the bottom seems like much better handwriting than the rest of the note. It has very straight, precise lines especially for the mouth, which is a large arc for a someone with such previously unrefined handwriting to draw so well. None of the rounded letters above it show near that level of smoothness, and they're much smaller, and thus easier to draw well.

[–]regularmoe 4 points5 points ago

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I read the letter and thought:

Either this is fake, or this kid is on reddit, and I'm too damn old to be on reddit anymore.

I hope it's fake.

[–]JBHUTT09 1 point2 points ago

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I wanted to believe. Why did you do this?

[–]gigitrix 1 point2 points ago

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"and in case you didn't know,that's pretty dang sweet."

That's not only odd for the use of dang, but it's also a kind of popular culture thing. It's such a complex clause...

[–]TwoHands 23 points24 points ago

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Correct usage of "you're" tends to support you, but the omission of an "of" and a few minor spelling errors make it look legitimate. Kids can be smarter than you think, but are more often dumber than a box of rocks.

[–]Aitioma 26 points27 points ago*

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Correct usage of "you're" tends to support you

Except every child knows how to write it.

It's stupid teenagers and mentally retarded adults, who forgot how to write properly and don't give a shit, who make those mistakes.

[–]GeekBrownBear 1 point2 points ago

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so true, I remember a girl in an AP level english class ask what the difference between there and their was. The whole classed stared and the teacher said "Are you serious?" It was epic lulz.

[–]fatkid60 6 points7 points ago

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No saying it's fake, but if it's a kid, they make some fancy lower-case p's.

[–]TilDuh 4 points5 points ago*

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I have a feeling it is fake, the language used is just to farcical

[–]isiah1979 23 points24 points ago

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This is the greatest thing ever! I welcome My new overlord

[–]zidanerick 5 points6 points ago

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If they ever have an old spice for kids, this one needs to be their frontman

[–]peetah74 4 points5 points ago

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i was gonna say. There better be a fucking drawing.

[–]kipz0r 5 points6 points ago

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Okay, where is shitty watercolor dude, cause I want to see a monkey wearing a tuxedo made out of bacon riding a cyborg unicorn with a lightsaber for the horn, on the tip of a space shuttle closing in on Mars while engulfed in flames. Cause that is awesome.

[–]SighJayAtWork 6 points7 points ago

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Where is the picture on back!? I DEMAND THE PICTURE ON THE BACK!!!

[–]Skelle-Welle 12 points13 points ago

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[–]tolleman 3 points4 points ago

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Are we sure this is a kid and not just someone high as hell?

[–]bitchpotatobunny 2 points3 points ago

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Y U NO POST DRAWING ON BACK?

[–]martypanic 25 points26 points ago

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There is no way in fuck that this is real

[–]RugbyDickSmash 3 points4 points ago

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It's clearly fake. Everyone knows that dogs are the only mammals that can survive in space. Checkmate Atheists.

[–]yawnz0r 7 points8 points ago

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Kids are so cute when they're sociopathic megalomaniacs.

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 5 points6 points ago

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It was entertaining to begin with but I couldn't get over how fake it was to continuing enjoying it.

[–]zombieinferno 4 points5 points ago

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that letter is pretty darn sweet, in case you didn't know.

all hail the new Supreme Ultra-Lord. I personally welcome his new reign. He can't possibly fuck up shit anymore than it already is.

Which brings to mind, wouldn't the world be a better place if we just put kids in charge?

  • Everyone would all get naps when they got cranky.
  • There would be mandatory recess breaks twice a day to take the dullness out of our work day.
  • No one would have to eat asparagus. Everyone would get cake and ice cream instead.
  • Wars would be nothing more than pinning the other guy down and spitting a nasty loogee on his forehead.
  • Christmas would come once a month but without all the Jesus stuff, just the presents.

[–]TheShar 10 points11 points ago

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What time does the monkey wearing a tuxedo made of bacon riding a cyborg unicorn with a lightsaber for a horn on the tip of a spaceship closing in on mars engufled in flames bacon?

[–]haadrak 2 points3 points ago

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This kid is clearly success kid.

[–]koliphant1 2 points3 points ago

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Reddit needs him!

[–]duckandcover 2 points3 points ago

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Always good to have friends in high places

[–]OtherMikeP 2 points3 points ago

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I want to see the drawing!

[–]jonnyboyo 2 points3 points ago

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WHERE IS THE DRAWING?! I MUST HAVE IT

[–]urmomsballs 2 points3 points ago

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What the fuck?? Where's the drawing?

[–]Estydeez 2 points3 points ago

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I DEMAND THE PICTURE ON THE BACK

[–]tap3w3rm 2 points3 points ago

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Where's the damn drawing.

[–]lalohidalgo85 2 points3 points ago

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http://i.imgur.com/QBI9i.jpg OP posted this near the top.

[–]eroq 2 points3 points ago

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Sadly, Flint is seventeen years old tomorrow...

[–]yellowcushion 3 points4 points ago

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There is no way a kid thought of this. I have a feeling an adult dictated the contents to a child.

[–]kittenkat4u 4 points5 points ago

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this kid is hilarious. i like him. he'd make a great redditor.

[–]TNoD 2 points3 points ago

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That in itself should be a huge red-flag of fake.

[–]Postiez 4 points5 points ago

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Flint 2012.

[–]robert_ahnmeischaft 2 points3 points ago

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Fake or not, it's awesome on its own merit.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Beyond control fake..... No child would use language like that..

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]agentidaho 7 points8 points ago

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Flint: future redditor.

[–]Tunafishsam 19 points20 points ago

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I'd wager that he's a current redditor

[–]YouArentReasonable 1 point2 points ago

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With a 401K.

[–]toThe9thPower 5 points6 points ago

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Okay, this was funny and all... but lets be reasonable people.. It is clearly fake.. It was clearly written for comedic purposes and I am fine with that. No kid would go on such a ridiculous tangent mentioning so many things like that. I could switch hands and write out a letter that looked like a kid made it, and I could make it hilarious, and then I would get all the karma.

[–]sturmeh 1 point2 points ago

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Where's the novelty account that draws things like this for us. D:

[–]Rubyfire 1 point2 points ago

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I laughed even though I realized that this made my life seem less awesome.

[–]Sicar1us 1 point2 points ago

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Wow he actually used "You're" the correct way.

[–]BHOSupershot28 1 point2 points ago

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See the drawing?:D

[–]spyder378 1 point2 points ago

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I for one welcome our new supreme ultra lord.

[–]orismology 1 point2 points ago

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He's one of us!

[–]leinad_02 1 point2 points ago

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Can't spell "meteorology" right, but can properly use "you're."

[–]davers84 1 point2 points ago

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That is probably the single greatest entitlement one could have.

[–]Zilvreen 1 point2 points ago

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Hello Flint.

[–]JohnHood 1 point2 points ago

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Kid spends way too much time on the internet.

[–]followthedarkrabbit 1 point2 points ago

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Pic of drawing plox!

[–]jormugandr 1 point2 points ago

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Future Redditor right there.

[–]haphazard51 1 point2 points ago

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Where does this kid go to school so I can make a presentation there too?

[–]kylusD 1 point2 points ago

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Does any one else want to see an animated series of this coming to fruition?

[–]dasthegreen 1 point2 points ago

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Sounds legit.

[–]EdricStorm 1 point2 points ago

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That kid is a future Dwarf Fortress player...

[–]Athene_Wins 1 point2 points ago

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Seems so fake... Weird ass vocab for a little babykid

[–]PScan69 1 point2 points ago

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Wheres the picture?!!

[–]ms_meepers 1 point2 points ago

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what's the picture??? I MUST KNOW!

[–]BetterThanOP 1 point2 points ago

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THIS KID knows the difference between your and you're

[–]DuckMeHarder 1 point2 points ago

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I spy with my little eye, a redditor in the making.

[–]PiGuy31415926 1 point2 points ago

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Encourage him to laminate this.

[–]Trook2007 1 point2 points ago

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Hey I'll post some shit I wrote with my non-dominate hand to reddit!!!!

[–]LeSouthAfricanSpy 1 point2 points ago

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All I could think about when I read Ultra Lord

[–]Danuwa 1 point2 points ago

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Someone needs to find Flint and get him his own subreddit NOW damn it! Move people! Find young Flint and help raise him into power!!

[–]blackmintstone 1 point2 points ago

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Flint is my favorite name!

[–]dcpeon 1 point2 points ago

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And then you realize Flint is 45 years old.

[–]Release82 1 point2 points ago

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Where's the pic of the drawing ?!

[–]hdadeathly[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Talked to my sister about the back story. She said Ramon visited a 4th grade class in Austin and the entire class wrote letters. This one just stood out to the entire staff at KVUE.

[–]csbriski 1 point2 points ago

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Flint...who's interested in meteorology? Flint the Shenaniganizer? Could it be Flint Lockwood???

[–]KL3DZ1K 1 point2 points ago

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Show us le drawing!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I WANT TO SEE THE DRAWING!

[–]Cyndaquil 1 point2 points ago

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I like how his writing gets progressively bigger and messier, as if he's becoming more and more excited as he writes it.

[–]slambient 9 points10 points ago

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kid uses "you're" correctly? fake.

[–]LilithImmaculate 2 points3 points ago

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Are you sure? Pretty sure I've seen this before

[–]suckerswag 1 point2 points ago

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What anti-American place do you live that someone named "Ramon" can be a meteorological television star?

[–]hdadeathly[S] 2 points3 points ago

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She works in Austin, TX.

[–]iheartsemicolon 1 point2 points ago

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[–]hdadeathly[S] 2 points3 points ago

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Precisely. Austin, TX.

[–]dasflash 1 point2 points ago

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WHERES THE PICTURE?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I for one welcome Flint, our new God-Emperor.

[–]yalogin 1 point2 points ago

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A complete fake.

Next time don't over do it.

[–]hdadeathly[S] 4 points5 points ago

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If you were right 100% of your life, completely undefeated in correctness, up to this day, I would sadly have to inform you you are wrong.

[–]yalogin 1 point2 points ago

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Ok. Defeat accepted :)

[–]NeverfearforIishere 0 points1 point ago

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Can we get this kid in for an AMA?

[–]Aerthos 0 points1 point ago

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That's awesome. Somebody get this kid some power, I want monkeys in tuxedos made of bacon!

[–]beckamajaress 0 points1 point ago

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I must say this made my day a bit, but seriously, can we see the drawing? or will my spirits be crushed...

[–]scnavi 0 points1 point ago

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I think this kid's parents are redditors. Just a sneaky suspicion.

[–]Chatterbones 0 points1 point ago

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SOMEONE WITH ARTISTIC ABILITY, DRAW THE SPACE MONKEY.

[–]writ24 0 points1 point ago

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This is the greatest child of all time. One day we will all work for him.

[–]Doctor_Banjo 0 points1 point ago

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textual representation of Aspergers

[–]fatbuckel 0 points1 point ago

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Would a child use the word "engulf"?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I see we start redditor training early these days...

[–]MrBrightside1 0 points1 point ago

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He is right, that is pretty dang sweet.

[–]Artificialx 0 points1 point ago

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This kid is going places.

[–]imfuckingawesome[!] 0 points1 point ago

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i wanna see drawing!!

[–]CygnusVismundCygnus 0 points1 point ago

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Not made by an actual kid, but cute regardless :D.

I was worried that the word "cyborg" wouldn't appear. Very glad my worries were unfounded.

[–]IAMANaquariumdrinker 0 points1 point ago

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Kid rules.

[–]MysterionVsCthulhu 0 points1 point ago

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Is anyone else bothered that the spaceship is engulfed in flame?

[–]Savet 0 points1 point ago

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I'll just leave these here.

,,,,,,,,,,, ;;;;;;;;;

They can be used in future posts to create a logical break between two thoughts joined into the same sentence.

Awesome letter though :)

[–]infanticide_holiday 0 points1 point ago

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Did he speak at Yale Grad School?

[–]pterid 0 points1 point ago

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Donuts indeed! I'll do no such thing.

[–]Berg426 0 points1 point ago

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TIL My handwriting is marginally better than a child's.

[–]heveabrasilien 0 points1 point ago

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His writing are better than 90% of those i have seen in facebook.

[–]Valendr0s 0 points1 point ago

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Wait til this kid listens to a Neil Degrasse Tyson lecture...

[–]sertasheep23 0 points1 point ago

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Fake

[–]thatchelpage 0 points1 point ago

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Can I adopt this child?